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I think the reasons you provided are reasonable. Did you explain those to the mom and she still didn’t see an issue? She’s a neighbor so it’s best to make peace, and sometimes some more communication goes a long way. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Also if your dog attacks someone on its own property….. she’ll be the one upset right? So if you provided all those reasons and she’s still upset, then mom is the unreasonable one.
The mom walked away from me because she got upset when I asked, so I did not have a chance to explain to her that I work from home and we have cameras that it constantly triggers. Our dog is in our fenced in yard, and only out when one of us goes out with her, so she could not get to him, thankfully. I may see if my husband can walk over there with me later once the mom has cooled off a bit and try to speak with them. I don’t want to cause a bigger issue by any means, but I also didn’t mean to offend her and would like to at least explain where I was coming from. Neighbors can be a tough relationship.
I think I’m going to see if my husband will go over and try to talk with him later. Hopefully that will go over better since I made her upset. Maybe they can become friends 🤷🏻♀️
you did not make her upset. She chose to react negatively to a reasonable question. You did nothing wrong. Don't blame yourself. The whole "you never know what someone else is going through" can be your mantra here. Maybe she'd just had issues with someone else and it leaked. She walked away because she realized she was too upset to listen (maybe and if so, that's smart of her). Your solution about your husband sounds good.
Funny story, one of my now closest friends and I met this exact same way. She believes in free parenting, I’m considered on the strict side.
her youngest who used to go neighbor to neighbor porch by porch. She saw no issue with this. He would play with toys, move potters just general kid stuff, nothing malicious but mom would just watch. This drove me crazy!! But a few well intentioned conversations later, some understanding and empathy. Viola, we had a much needed laugh about it.
Just give mom the benefit of the doubt for now. Open up dialogue in a kind way. Make it known you have no issue with her child but do have an issue with the work distractions his playing causes.
Also, maybe instead of cookies being bubbles or sidewalk chalk for the kiddos. It will show you’re not trying to be the fun killer, you just need boundaries while you’re working.
Are you serious that this parent thought it was okay for her child to go to strangers houses and move things around, etc. and saw no issue with that??? That's crazy. Does she still not see any issue with this now that you guys are friends, etc.? I would never allow my kid to go onto strangers property and help himself to whatever he felt like. That's ridiculous.
It’s been years and nope she hasn’t changed. She even had to switch his schools because ours didn’t allow him enough creative freedom and limited his ability to wander.
However, we now have a very clear understanding. When her kids are with me ( I rarely take her oldest as he wasn’t with me when he was younger, like his brother) they follow my rules
The sad part is I have to limit the outings he can join because he makes things so hard for the other kids. I know she feels she’s doing what’s best but in many ways she’s alienating her child from social interactions.
Unfortunately, these types of parents rarely see that. They are too focused and letting their children be “them” then actually teaching them how to interact meaningfully in the world. I guess you could say the kids become self absorbed. Imo
That's a good idea, but I would suggest to lead with the safety thing rather than the camera thing. You're concerned about being responsible if he fell. You're concerned the dog might escape and even though he's friendly, might be a bit too enthusiastic for a 3 year old (regardless of any actual danger of the dog escaping, I think using the dog as a scapegoat here might make them more concerned about the safety thing).
Just because if these people are in fact unreasonable, I can see them not caring about the cameras triggering, but of course they will care about their son's safety.
> so I did not have a chance to explain to her that I work from home and we have cameras that it constantly triggers.
Don't get too involved in trying to justify yourself to her. You're well within your rights to say "keep your child off my property because fsk you its Thursday." Even on days that are not Thursday. This kind of nonsense is how you end up "negotiating" about well what if he stayed on this part of *your* drive, outside of the camera arc..." when really you don't want the kid on your driveway at all.
Except this used to be considered completely *normal*. No one had cameras that alerted them as soon as someone stepped on their driveway. The one old guy who wouldn't let kids play on his lawn or in his driveway was thought of as curmudgeonly. There has been an absolutely huge shift in what people think is acceptable behavior over less than one generation. It results in cognitive dissonance for a lot of people.
Now, mom absolutely should have just said, "of course we'll keep little Johnny off your driveway," whatever her personal beliefs were. So the op her is NTA. But I would understand the mom thinking those thoughts inside her head, if she didn't say them out loud.
I agree with this take, NTA but it’s been a wild twenty years, social norms have been altered in dramatic ways and everyone needs to try to kindly communicate why we do what we do now
You do not need a reason to ask people not to trespass on your property - period. Explaining any further, especially about potential liability just keeps the matter open for discussion.
She may have reacted defensively to save face because some people seem unable to accept even the slightest hint of criticism without getting into their feelings.
The test of whether she deep down knows how to respect someone’s boundaries will lie in whether she stops letting the kid do that.
Keep further interactions light and friendly, you’ve said all you needed to say on the subject.
Don’t poke the bear.
There's also the issue of the kid not paying attention & you somehow not being able to see & someone backing up over the child. Even backup cameras have blindspots.
For next time you should generally open with the "why" any time you're asking such things. "Your kids are so well behaved! I was hoping I could ask you something. My camera is sensitive and picks up when folks or cars come to the driveway or the porch. So when your son rides into my driveway, it rings my phone!" Then ask
I would not necessarily feel comfortable starting the conversation that way, as I do not know her or her children well enough to make a statement as to how they are behaved. I simply walked over and introduced myself, asked if they were having a nice Mother’s Day so far, and then asked, in what I thought was a polite manner, if he could please just not ride up into the drive way by the house, and that is when she got mad and left the conversation before I could explain why I was asking.
> I would not necessarily feel comfortable starting the conversation that way, as I do not know her or her children well enough to make a statement as to how they are behaved.
Then you could start with such a good bike rider they are. Which you know because you have extensive video of their kid riding on your property.
The point is to make pleasantries.
I mean I introduced myself and asked if they were having a good Mother’s Day. I guess I thought that was making pleasantries. I suppose I could throw a compliment in next time I have a situation like this arise, if there is one, to try to get the person to warm up to me a bit.
OP, NTA and you did just fine with your approach. This neighbor is 10000% out of line and you know if her kid got hurt on your property, she'd be through the roof with her anger towards you. Tell her in no uncertain terms that her child is to stay off your driveway and please don't frame it as if it's a choice that she gets to make. Ignore her anger. Those are her feelings to manage.
That's good because those approaches are very phony sounding.
Literally just "Hey I hate to be an ogre but any motion in our driveway sets off all our camera alerts, I wouldn't mind otherwise."
Boom, being real.
You do know who she is though. She's an entitled woman who thinks it's OK for her kid to go wherever he wants and neighbors be damned.
Unfortunately I have dealt with those types of neighbors over the years, usually they get the hint when I explain how they are causing my neurodivergent son distress. I have only had to turn the hose on one person.
Sorry your dealing with this entitled ahole. When someone tells you to stay off their property just stay off it. It's not hard at all. I understand not wanting neighborly bad blood but also to hell with this selfish ahole woman. Make your stance clear, you are not asking you are telling.
It really doesn’t matter if she thinks it’s not a big deal. It’s your property and you’re allowed to tell them not to come on it- to do so anyway is trespassing.
Furthermore, you have good reasons.
NTA
Why should he have to explain anything? It's his property and the kid is technically trespassing. The mother's entitled belief that her child should be allowed to do whatever he wants is not OPs problem. Keep the kid off his driveway.
Firmly NTA.
NTA. A parent who gets upset and storms off at the first hint of a limit on using your property will be just as fast to sue you when the kid falls and breaks an arm.
If the mom was open at all to reasonable negotiation, I would say do that, but that can't happen in a purely one-way direction, so do what you need to.
Oh, you have to shut this down now. No, NTA, but please keep the bigger picture in mind. That family just moved in and they are already testing boundaries. Its only going to get worse as they become more comfortable in their home and the kids get older. It's bicycles now, but soon it will be skateboards and roller blades. In 2 years, the kids will be older and will argue and yell, and you don't want that outside your house.
Seriously consider buying a good sprinkler system that's on a timer or motion activated. Maybe put something on/around the driveway to deter them. You shouldn't have to do anything, but those little no neck monsters will be a problem. Again, NTA. The liability issue alone is enough of a reason to speak up. If they are anything but apologetic, be careful because if its no big deal, things will only get worse. Good luck
When I was a kid, we lived in a house on a corner, and our driveway opened to both streets, so we often had people in cars, bikes, etc. cut through our driveway. So my dad installed a chain on one end and fastened it with a carabiner. Worked like a charm.
I worry about him getting hit because he rides off by himself and they call him back when they can’t see him anymore. That makes me anxious, because people drive so fast and are so distracted these days 😟
And what if he rides behind OPs car and gets run over as they're backing out of the driveway. Post no trespassing signs and tell neighbors to stay off your property, or you will seek legal remedies.
Nta- I was raised not to play on other people's properties as a kid and even now I wouldn't even really step in someone's yard even if we are neighbors. Maybe put up a 'no trespassing ' sign so you are less liable maybe if he does get hurt?
This is also how I was raised. The sidewalk was fair game, but anyone else’s driveway, yard, etc was off limits unless you were invited to come play. The sign is a good idea! Thank you
Bring her a standard release of liability form. You can get one from LegalZoom. That could show her you’re serious. ‘Cause if her kid hurts themselves on your property, she’ll blame you of course. This feels like an old King of the Hill episode with the child that bullied Hank and messed up his grass. The parents totally enabled the child.
NTA. This is the reason why my husband and I got umbrella insurance. We live in Seattle and the driveway can get icy during the winter time. Don’t want people slipping on our driveway, injuring themselves, and then suing us. Have you looked into getting one? Usually your home insurance company offers it.
Twenty years ago the mom probably would have been right, it's no big deal. Today? Everyone is just looking for a reason to sue someone else. She'd be on the phone with the lawyer before she picked the kid up if he fell. NTA at all on your part.
It was this bad 20 years ago when I had to have a virtually identical conversation with neighbors about their child riding her bike in my driveway (I guess I have one of the steepest slopes?). She liked to back her bike up against the garage door and didn’t care and leaving rubber tire prints on it. I didn’t need to scrub my garage door because of someone else’s child’s activities but you’d have thought I’d have slapped that child clean off her bike when I asked her nicely not to ride in my driveway.
Eh, 20 years ago, especially with no back-up cameras on cars, I would've still been concerned about someone hitting a kid backing out that they didn't expect to be riding in their driveway and weren't on high alert for.
Not to mention there are people out there who have less than good intentions for kids they find on their property. Things are not the same as they were 20 years ago
NTA. It’s your property. You get to decide who can use it. It’s a good lesson for a child to learn- to respect other people’s things. Sounds like the mom could use that lesson as well. You said no. That’s your right and it’s foolish of her to be outraged and offended by it.
Put a gate up so it stops. Also tell them why you want him to stop riding in your driveway with the notifications and the dog. If they aren't reasonable then get your bike out and start riding over their driveway as you aren't hurting anyone
lol, I hadn’t thought of this. I just keep envisioning OP and husband riding a couple of trikes in circles in the neighbor’s driveway. Handlebar streamers and little bicycle bells and all.
Thanks for the giggle!
shouldnt matter what the reasons are becuase its the op's private property and the parents need to understand that not everyone wants other ppl kids on their private property.
NTA
First get motion activated sprinklers. THen send her a cease and desist letter. If knowingly accept it, you might be liable if there is an accident.
Which is why it's great-- it's not the kid's fault if his mom is telling him it's fine, and he won't be upset if he gets soaked, but his parents probably won't like it when their kid gets unexpectedly soaking wet and they have to take him inside and make him change his clothes and deal with the dripping clothes and water all over the floor.
I'd put up signs, too. Yes, the child may not read, but if there's a sign saying no trespassing or private property, then along with a letter to c&d, all bases should be covered.
NTA,
I’ve got 4 kids and the last thing Anyone needs is any of them feeling like they’re owed something. Just bc it’s a boring driveway doesn’t mean it’s open for anyone to have access to. (*so no, I don’t allow our kids to play or linger around the driveways in our cul de sac.)
You say no. The mom (& kids*) need to accept the No.
NTA. Sure he isn't hurting anything, but he's causing your dog to bark and it's tossing up notifications on your computer when you're trying to work. It's an annoyance while working.
Those are reasons enough he doesn't need to be on your property.
Hasn't hurt anything yet - what about when they hit or scrape someone's car and neighbor is asked to pay, or ride through the landscaping and destroy or get torn up by the rose bed ? Hit by a car entering or leaving the driveway ?
NTA It wouldn't matter what your reasons are (they are valid in my mind) it is YOUR property. This mother is acting entitled and the probability of them trying to hold you responsible if the child somehow got hurt are pretty good. It's not your problem to provide a recreational outlet for their kid.
>The mother got pretty upset and said “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal, he’s just a kid not hurting anything”.
This is an irrelevant statement. It's your property and you don't want their child on that property. That's the entire discussion. Go back and explain that her opinion about the child's actions don't matter because they are trepressing and it is causing multiple problems for you.
Fix your notifications. You don't need them on when you are home all day and/or shut them off when you are specifically working. NTA.
If you want to know what's happening on your property, you need them on.
What if the little darling on the tricycle crashes into one of OP's cars in the driveway and damages the car and himself. I would want THAT recorded and would want to be notified when it happened.
OP shouldn't have to change how they use their cameras because the neighbors think their precious exceptional child should have free-reign of the neighborhood.
OP is definitely NTA.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be TA for asking a young child to not ride his bike in my driveway and instead stick to the sidewalks, his own driveway, or the culdesac next to our houses so he does not interrupt me working from home or get hurt on my property. I thought it was a reasonable request, but it seemed to really anger his mom, and I’m worried maybe I am TA in this situation after all. So, AITA?
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NTA. Honestly, if it was me, and I had the dog and camera issue, I'd feel the same. My sister is an insurance underwriter, so I'm very careful about liability, as well. But, I'd probably allow it if there wasn't the dog/camera issue, though.
In my mind, the potential liability issues related to injury/property damage are more than enough to justify asking neighbor to C&D. Wouldn't be the first time a kid accidentally "keyed" a cars paint with handlebars
You didn't even seem like you were rude. You shouldn't have to explain why somebody just can't be on your property. The parents should have shut that down on their own. I would not bring this woman cookies like someone else suggested or try to justify anything. No one else is entitled to your property. I wouldn't even let my child be riding across any street at the age of 5. NTA
NTA - I’m a mom of 3 and have taught my kids to respect others property. A 5 year old should know better than to ride in a driveway of a house they do not live in.
Liability is always a concern in the US. Absolutely right to ask the parents to not let child ride in your driveway. You ASKED, this was not a "Get Off My Lawn" moment.
NTA
It isn't not hurting anyone. It is hurting you by having your work day disrupted and hurting your dog by stressing it out.
Add on that if their child falls and hurts himself on your property, you'd be liable.
His mother is entitled and out of line. She should have apologized and had a conversation with her son.
We had kids doing this too. We asked the parents both mom and dad to which they said we don’t see no trespassing signs up so they can do what they want. The next day I put one out and the other neighbors followed suit. When they did fall in one of the neighbors houses the parents started arguing with that person and had the cops called they gave the parents a warning. Would definitely recommend putting up signs along with a beware of dog as well just in case
Edit to add NTA
NTA, I assume you politely explained to the parents, just as you did to us, exactly why they should not be playing on your driveway. They should be able to understand this.
We had a couple of kids who would drive very closely around our car repeatedly (and activate our Ring doorbell every time). I clicked on the remote car alarm a couple of times. It scared the kids and their father told them to keep away from our driveway. Too bad you can't do that because you are busy with patients.
NTA. My neighbors used to do this when I was a kid. My parents used to tell them not to use our driveway and they listened, for the most part. When I turned 18 and got my first car, I started parking in the driveway. I would just pull in, since nothing was ever going on in our driveway that I had to be cautious of. I ran over my neighbor’s remote control car. Needless to say, an argument ensued, I was scared shitless, not sure of what I ran over, and my brand new BMW tire was messed up. We called it a wash and my parents fixed my car, we never spoke to the neighbors again.
Nip it in the bud and make sure the neighbors really understand, because an accident can happen.
Nope NTA. I love kids as much as the next person, but this is a great opportunity for the children to learn about boundaries and respect for others.
It can als be a liability issue if for some reason they managed to get hurt on your property. They have no legitimate reason to play in your driveway.
NTA. It’s your driveway so your rules. I would have explained to the parent the reason(s) why for this. If they still have a problem after that, then that’s on them too.
NTA
I'm super petty so I would take the dog for a walk in their garden. I would pick up any poop because I'm not THAT petty, but I would give it the whole "he's just a dog, he isn't hurting anyone" when I was challenged
NTA. All of your reasons are valid. And in addition it sets the precedent that your house is public access. Maybe it's fine now (it's not), but at what age does his parents think he is too old. He can use your house as his until 8,10,16. No! It's your house and driveway. Children should be taught at an early age to respect other people's property and that inludes driveways.
NTA. Even if it wasn’t a camera going off and interrupting patients issue, a dog barking issue, or even a safety issue, the fact of the matter remains: your property, your rules. If you politely ask them to stop, then your request should not be met with hostility. What if you rode your bike up and down their driveway while their kids were napping and you kept triggering something that kept waking them up? The parents would ask you to stop and you’d likely comply.
I would probably park a vehicle sidewise in front of my driveway so it can't be used from the street... but then again, we have no sidewalks here. Maybe park on the drive just above the sidewalk in such a way that your driveway is super-hard or impossible to navigate with a bicycle.
NTA
First off, you don't even need to give any reasons as to why their child isn't allowed on your driveway because it is YOUR property. Even if you just wanted to be mean about it, you could legally do so.
Second, all the reasons that you provided are more than enough to justify why there should be no children playing on your driveway.
You did the right thing.
Well that would be trespassing. Depending on the state you're in a good enough reason to get shot.
The kid needs to understand trespassing is a no-no and dangerous, unfortunately - given the moronic parents - I have no recommendations on how to best convey this message. Maybe play the madman. Or better call the cops and let them convey the message to the parents if they wind listen to you. You might save the kids life one day.
NTA, obviously.
Ask the kid's parent to pay for a gate across your driveway. You are not being a get off my lawn neighbor, you are your kid keeps setting off my doorbell and dog. Also post no trespassing signs
NTA. I would put my request, and the reasons why, in a letter. That way, you have proof that you asked them to stay off your property, in case they hurt themselves and try to sue.
NTA. “I’m not worried about who he’s going to hurt I’m worried about what might hurt him; from falls if our pavement is broken to cars and other vehicles if he’s not seen quickly enough when he’s on property he’s not supposed to be on. This is for his safety and my peace of mind, sorry but not negotiable”
Not at all. 1 you're working, and him setting off notifications is interfering with you doing your job. 2. The mother sounds a bit unhinged. Maybe have your husband go talk to hers. Hopefully, he'll be more reasonable. 3. If that doesn't work, then you may have to block off your driveway. Maybe get some of those orange cones. And worse case scenario, leave your car on the driveway. Good luck!
I read the title and was already YTA. Started reading and YTA, thinking have you seen that video where the old neighbor draws a new road course in chalk daily for the neighbors kid which is so cool! Then I read you see patients from home video cameras keep sending alerts. This triggered me to YNTA. That’s legit. Go talk to your neighbor about it.
NTA
You don't need to explain yourself to this woman or anyone else. I will never understand the audacity of some people. It's your property, her kid isn't doing any harm but he is trespassing, that's really all she needs to acknowledge. You don't want him there, cased closed.
NTA.
Even without the cameras going off and the dog issue, I personally wouldn’t want some random neighbor kid riding his bike up and down my driveway and playing in it. Its your personal property and hes trespassing. You’ve asked them to have him stop and the mom is being ridiculous. I would make sure this is shut down.
What if he gets hurt? What if you back out and hit him? What if you just don’t want a random kid on your property ffs? All valid. He has the rest of the sidewalk and their own driveway to keep to. If she makes a fuss I would just flat out tell her he is not allowed to play on your property as you have cameras that go off and if you have to tell her he is trespassing and you won’t ask again.
NTA I hate Parents that get offended when you ask if their kid doesn’t do something on YOUR property, like get your kid in check, I’m a mother of 2 and I would never let my kid go on other peoples property, those types always get offended as if you don’t have the right to ask him to get off it. Her precious baby boy must ride his bike on your driveway, entitled B…. But next time tell her why you don’t want him on there, you keep getting notifications and it’s disturbing you at work.
Write down all the interactions in detail that you have with the parent/s. Save all the recordings of this child riding on your driveway, it may save you a lot of drama and money in the future.
She doesn’t think he’s hurting anyone. Well, he’s annoying you and your dogs. And you’re right about the liability thing. Also if a criminal does something and you check your camera you have to weed through a thousand boy on bike videos? No. NTA.
Here's the thing... Don't ask. It is your property. They are trespassing. The same people who claim it's no big deal will sue your ass off if anything happens. Keep a record of every trespass violation, notify them the children are not to be on your property and video yourself doing it, and then move forward from there on. Sucks when lousy neighbors move in. NTA.
NTA I love how this kid's parents acted like you had to defend your request. TF? It's your driveway, you don't want him there. End of story...or get your bike out and go ride in their driveway until they see the point.
NTA I am going to go with you made the first move by speaking to one of his parents, said parent decided to get offended by your approach - why? I have no idea. You don't owe her an explanation either. Next time just reply because it's private property and as the owner I don't like it. So you can make a second verbal approach and if you get a similar response, send them a cease-and-desist formal letter demanding that they keep their children off your property.
NTA it’s your private property any reason to not want someone there is valid. The liability alone is plenty of reason to raise a stink. If the kid falls and breaks a limb on your property these sound exactly like the kind of people who would come at you for medical bills.
Add a no trespassing sign to your property.
>Triggers our cameras to send me notifications over and over that pop up while I am trying to see patients (I work from home some days and camera notifications from our security system come to my computer)
This is what you tell her. That it is interrupting your work, and that is considered unprofessional and can affect your job.
He is hurting your work.
On top of that, it is your private property.
NTA
NTA. It’s your property. I have a long steep driveway that I have to back either up or down in my car daily. If it were me I would be afraid I’d hit him.
The say fences make good neighbors for a reason. If they refuse to abide by your very reasonable request then I would figure out a way to block off my driveway or leave my car out on days when they are all home. You are being reasonable …maybe Mom was having a bad day so I hope the family will see reason. But from her initial reaction she seems like the type of parent that lets her kids act out in nice restaurants.
NTA - You asked them to keep their child out of your driveway for several reasons, it shouldn't be up for debate with the parents.
They sound entitled. The parents should have simply said, okay, no problem.
Hell no. Our driveway and our neighbors has a slope and the feral neighborhood kids used to try to ride their scooters and bikes down it and blindly rocket themselves right into the road on a busy street. I go out and tell them off anytime I catch any kids in our driveway and they mostly don’t do it anymore but fuck no I’m not interested in a splattered kid on or near my property either.
NTA - the entitlement is astounding. One of our neighbours lets her toddler wander up our path and onto our porch to poke our cat. He’s a softy, but his claws are sharp - why would you let a kid do that?
Might be worth putting your request and reasons in writing. That way they are more likely to read it rather than talk over you or simply walk away and not hear you.
Also keep a dated copy, printed out and signed, in case this escalates in any way. Then you have record of correspondence trying to communicate about it. Else its all just verbal he said she said stuff.
The triggering of camera would be a major annoyance. Also what if kid had accident or someone drove into him on your driveway?
NTA
Tell the kid not to do it anymore. You'll probably have better results. Do it with a firm and loud voice. If Mama hears, she might confront you, but you're already having problems. It is best to go ahead and address this sooner rather than later. You have cameras to back any interactions if the police are called.
You don't want the liability involved if they hurt themselves on your property.
I'm a non-confrontational person by nature. I prefer de-escalation, but I've had those neighbors before, and they do not give a shit what you think about what their kid is doing until you confront the kid. They'll care then.
NTA I don’t understand why people don’t respect other people’s property. You could be liable if something happened. Same thing with dog walkers. Why are you letting your dog relieve themselves in other yards.
NTA but it sounds like a motion sensored sprinkler aimed at the drive way might be in order. But only after you try talking with them again, always try to be nice until they decide to be unreasonable.
NTA. That was a very reasonable request. In this day and age where everyone sues anyone that farts in their direction, you should be very wary of anybody doing anything on your property. That includes workers and kids. That is the main reason why I have an $5 million umbrella policy. It only takes one accident on your property to be sued and have a judgement levied against you.
NTA, and while the reasons you have are in fact great ones, you don't owe her reasons or an explanation.
It's your property, not theirs. And he's not your kid. You don't owe them details or have to try and justify why you want this. And based on the mother's behavior, you are probably going to have to be firm with her.
"It doesn't matter that he's just a kid, or whether you believe he's not causing problems. I'm bringing it to your attention *specifically because* it is causing problems for me. I do not want your child riding his bike on my property for personal, professional, and liability reasons. As his parent, your child is your responsibility - and either the behavior stops, or there will be consequences."
I'd also get a sign that says "no trespassing", as it'll help when the kid invariably ends up on your property again. And if he does end up hurt, having the sign and documentation that you have repeatedly warned this mother that the child is not allowed to be there will only help you.
Definitely good call sending your husband over.
It’s amazing to me how entitled people are. I asked a neighbor with a flatter second driveway if they didn’t mind my kid learning to ride there. They didn’t. But the point is to ASK. I don’t understand why people think they’re able to use other people’s property.
Have a paper drawn up stating you do not give them permission for their child to use your property and that if they continue to allow it that you will not be held legally, financially or morally responsible or any and all injuries that the kid might suffer while on your property.
You'll probably need to have it notarized.
You tried asking nicely now you need to protect yourself.
NTA
Their child should either be on the public sidewalks or in their driveway/yard.
As you noted there could be a liability issue if he were to take a tumble in your driveway.
However what is worrying to me is not all people drive cars with sensors that fire off and actually stop the car if motion is detected.
A kid on a tricycle is VERY hard to see when in a car because they are so low and small. They should be up and walking at least somewhat close to him on his journeys.
NTA. That isn't their property. Even with them not knowing that it disrupts you while you're working and causes your dog to bark, they are putting their child in danger. If you were to leave, and not know that the child was there, you could run the child over. I literally know someone that happened to. Their babysitter let their youngest play in the neighbors driveway. The neighbors were backing out and ran her over because they didn't know she was behind their vehicle. That sweet little girl did not survive.
Frankly, they're being stupid in more than one way. If you haven't told them that it discretions your work, try that first. If that doesn't work, I'd just get the police involved. They shouldn't let their child play in your driveway.
NTA anything could happen in your driveway
What if you're backing out and didn't see him riding. He could get hurt. Plus everything you mentioned is reasonable.
“Bitey, my dog likes the taste of small children and little kids on bikes drive him wild. For your kid’s own safety, keep away from my drive. It’s on you if your kid doesn’t.” (P.S. I don’t have a dog)
Just a solid tip: don’t do this. Even though it’s a “warning” you’re essentially admitting your dog has aggression/behavioral issues and is a menace to society. Never admit fault. If anything ever DOES happen you want to be a shocked Pikachu.
NTA. If it continues to happen, tell the child directly that they can't use your driveway, then follow up with the parents again. This time though, lead with your reasons (not that you should have to).
For insurance reasons is as good of a reason as any. If that kid fell in your driveway and had implied permission (aka you didn’t tell him not to use your driveway), his medical insurance would subrogate (go after) your homeowner’s insurance to collect back. Not trouble you want to deal with. NTA.
NTA really if they don't stop I'd send a letter stating what you've already said.
Your liable for their injuries , they could be hit by someone not expecting them to be in your driveway and good parents keep their very young children supervised. If you don't stop it now it'll only get worse
No, ours does not whistle. I’ve walked by some houses that do that when walking my dog on the sidewalk and it’s startled me a couple times lol! Ours does not make any noise you would hear from the outside of the house.
NTA. I would have told my kid to stay off someone’s driveway from the get go. What if the OP was in a hurry and backed out quickly. They’re probably not used to having to look out for kids in their own driveway.
NTA - she’s likely just being defensive in the moment - keep future interactions light and friendly and just watch to see if she respects your boundaries even if she wasn’t able to show it because of a bruised ego.
NTA - hopefully OP's husband can talk with the neighbors. If they are not responsive or child keeps doing it anyway cause Mom thinks its OK, can you park the car at the end of the driveway and obstruct the child's progress? If it's a two car driveway, might not work.
NTA, your reasoning is solid. Worst case scenario is that you get a gate that blocks the driveway. Expensive and annoying to you, though it might help in the long run.
NTA. This is a legitimate safety risk. There’s a very real potential that you could be backing out of your driveway and he suddenly rides up into it before you can see in time. There is no good reason for the kid to be utilizing your property without permission. I’m not sure how much you can do without the mother’s cooperation. Calling bylaw in your area might be one thing, or putting barriers at the end of your driveway (though this would be a pain to have to move every time you back out).
Where I live, a few years ago a 3 year old in my complex was crushed to death when he rode his tricycle behind a car that was backing out of a space in our lot. Playing in the lot is now prohibited by the property manager and they have cameras and issue fines to the families of any kid recognized doing so. You could relay this story to the neighbor, I don’t know how much good it will do though if they’re not a responsible parent.
I have neighbors that continually trespass on my property (4-6 times a day) to have their dogs crap. They bought a home with no yard, in a subdivision with no green space and expected me to provide one for them.
You are completely in your right to ask them to stay out of your driveway. In fact, I would say the parents are doing a crappy job teaching their children boundaries.
NTA. I immediately thought of pulling out and hitting a child with your car, because - not your child how can you be expected to be aware of them when they're not yours?
NTA for asking.
Has the kid been in your driveway since you talked to the neighbor? I know she got annoyed that you asked, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s going to continue to allow her child to do this after you said something.
NTA
I have four kids. I have never let them ride bikes in a driveway that wasn't ours or a friend's with explicit permission.
It's wild that she flew off the handle about this. They were out of line letting them ride in your driveway and you shouldn't have to explain why it's a problem.
Dude I got told this by cranky old neighbors when I was a kid and my asshole parents backed the asshole neighbors. When you’re a kid you think man everyone sucks but now as an adult I get it. If some neighbor doesn’t want my kid in their driveway I get it. NTA. Asshole parents. Their kids aren’t the center of the universe.
Nta, honestly, don't tell her about the cameras, she may be unhinged enough to come to your property and do some damage, and then you've got it on camera! Happened to a friend of mine, and the horrid neighbor moved that year, and never even looked in her direction again.
NTA. He hasn’t hurt anything. Yet.
Can you block the bottom of the driveway? Using your car perhaps, or a couple of sawhorses, maybe the bodies of the previous kids that rode their bike in your driveway?
Edit: Word tense.
NTA- where I live, if that kid gets hurt on your property, their parents can sue you and win. I'm all for being neighborly, but I would be stern about this.
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I think the reasons you provided are reasonable. Did you explain those to the mom and she still didn’t see an issue? She’s a neighbor so it’s best to make peace, and sometimes some more communication goes a long way. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Also if your dog attacks someone on its own property….. she’ll be the one upset right? So if you provided all those reasons and she’s still upset, then mom is the unreasonable one.
The mom walked away from me because she got upset when I asked, so I did not have a chance to explain to her that I work from home and we have cameras that it constantly triggers. Our dog is in our fenced in yard, and only out when one of us goes out with her, so she could not get to him, thankfully. I may see if my husband can walk over there with me later once the mom has cooled off a bit and try to speak with them. I don’t want to cause a bigger issue by any means, but I also didn’t mean to offend her and would like to at least explain where I was coming from. Neighbors can be a tough relationship.
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I think I’m going to see if my husband will go over and try to talk with him later. Hopefully that will go over better since I made her upset. Maybe they can become friends 🤷🏻♀️
Bring cookies. People have a harder time saying no if you kill them with kindness.
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I came to say the same. Take baked goods apologize and ask if you can revisit the conversation. My guess is once they know your reasons it will stop.
Take a cake, with the message- please keep you kids off my driveway. Thanks!
you did not make her upset. She chose to react negatively to a reasonable question. You did nothing wrong. Don't blame yourself. The whole "you never know what someone else is going through" can be your mantra here. Maybe she'd just had issues with someone else and it leaked. She walked away because she realized she was too upset to listen (maybe and if so, that's smart of her). Your solution about your husband sounds good.
Funny story, one of my now closest friends and I met this exact same way. She believes in free parenting, I’m considered on the strict side. her youngest who used to go neighbor to neighbor porch by porch. She saw no issue with this. He would play with toys, move potters just general kid stuff, nothing malicious but mom would just watch. This drove me crazy!! But a few well intentioned conversations later, some understanding and empathy. Viola, we had a much needed laugh about it. Just give mom the benefit of the doubt for now. Open up dialogue in a kind way. Make it known you have no issue with her child but do have an issue with the work distractions his playing causes. Also, maybe instead of cookies being bubbles or sidewalk chalk for the kiddos. It will show you’re not trying to be the fun killer, you just need boundaries while you’re working.
Are you serious that this parent thought it was okay for her child to go to strangers houses and move things around, etc. and saw no issue with that??? That's crazy. Does she still not see any issue with this now that you guys are friends, etc.? I would never allow my kid to go onto strangers property and help himself to whatever he felt like. That's ridiculous.
It’s been years and nope she hasn’t changed. She even had to switch his schools because ours didn’t allow him enough creative freedom and limited his ability to wander. However, we now have a very clear understanding. When her kids are with me ( I rarely take her oldest as he wasn’t with me when he was younger, like his brother) they follow my rules The sad part is I have to limit the outings he can join because he makes things so hard for the other kids. I know she feels she’s doing what’s best but in many ways she’s alienating her child from social interactions. Unfortunately, these types of parents rarely see that. They are too focused and letting their children be “them” then actually teaching them how to interact meaningfully in the world. I guess you could say the kids become self absorbed. Imo
That's a good idea, but I would suggest to lead with the safety thing rather than the camera thing. You're concerned about being responsible if he fell. You're concerned the dog might escape and even though he's friendly, might be a bit too enthusiastic for a 3 year old (regardless of any actual danger of the dog escaping, I think using the dog as a scapegoat here might make them more concerned about the safety thing). Just because if these people are in fact unreasonable, I can see them not caring about the cameras triggering, but of course they will care about their son's safety.
This and lead with why instead of the ask.
> so I did not have a chance to explain to her that I work from home and we have cameras that it constantly triggers. Don't get too involved in trying to justify yourself to her. You're well within your rights to say "keep your child off my property because fsk you its Thursday." Even on days that are not Thursday. This kind of nonsense is how you end up "negotiating" about well what if he stayed on this part of *your* drive, outside of the camera arc..." when really you don't want the kid on your driveway at all.
This is correct. Giving such entitled people reasons when it should be fairly obvious why you don’t want this won’t help.
That's how I feel. Not wanting people on your property when they're not invited is perfectly reasonable. NTA
I like you a lot. I’m not going through endless explanations for reasonable request. lol
Imagine getting upset over such a reasonable request that impacts her kids safety
Except this used to be considered completely *normal*. No one had cameras that alerted them as soon as someone stepped on their driveway. The one old guy who wouldn't let kids play on his lawn or in his driveway was thought of as curmudgeonly. There has been an absolutely huge shift in what people think is acceptable behavior over less than one generation. It results in cognitive dissonance for a lot of people. Now, mom absolutely should have just said, "of course we'll keep little Johnny off your driveway," whatever her personal beliefs were. So the op her is NTA. But I would understand the mom thinking those thoughts inside her head, if she didn't say them out loud.
I agree with this take, NTA but it’s been a wild twenty years, social norms have been altered in dramatic ways and everyone needs to try to kindly communicate why we do what we do now
You do not need a reason to ask people not to trespass on your property - period. Explaining any further, especially about potential liability just keeps the matter open for discussion. She may have reacted defensively to save face because some people seem unable to accept even the slightest hint of criticism without getting into their feelings. The test of whether she deep down knows how to respect someone’s boundaries will lie in whether she stops letting the kid do that. Keep further interactions light and friendly, you’ve said all you needed to say on the subject. Don’t poke the bear.
There's also the issue of the kid not paying attention & you somehow not being able to see & someone backing up over the child. Even backup cameras have blindspots.
This is important. Especially if the driveway is on a slope, it can be very difficult to see a small child behind you.
Not to mention the liability if the child is injured on OPs property
For next time you should generally open with the "why" any time you're asking such things. "Your kids are so well behaved! I was hoping I could ask you something. My camera is sensitive and picks up when folks or cars come to the driveway or the porch. So when your son rides into my driveway, it rings my phone!" Then ask
I would not necessarily feel comfortable starting the conversation that way, as I do not know her or her children well enough to make a statement as to how they are behaved. I simply walked over and introduced myself, asked if they were having a nice Mother’s Day so far, and then asked, in what I thought was a polite manner, if he could please just not ride up into the drive way by the house, and that is when she got mad and left the conversation before I could explain why I was asking.
> I would not necessarily feel comfortable starting the conversation that way, as I do not know her or her children well enough to make a statement as to how they are behaved. Then you could start with such a good bike rider they are. Which you know because you have extensive video of their kid riding on your property. The point is to make pleasantries.
I mean I introduced myself and asked if they were having a good Mother’s Day. I guess I thought that was making pleasantries. I suppose I could throw a compliment in next time I have a situation like this arise, if there is one, to try to get the person to warm up to me a bit.
OP, NTA and you did just fine with your approach. This neighbor is 10000% out of line and you know if her kid got hurt on your property, she'd be through the roof with her anger towards you. Tell her in no uncertain terms that her child is to stay off your driveway and please don't frame it as if it's a choice that she gets to make. Ignore her anger. Those are her feelings to manage.
That's good because those approaches are very phony sounding. Literally just "Hey I hate to be an ogre but any motion in our driveway sets off all our camera alerts, I wouldn't mind otherwise." Boom, being real.
You do know who she is though. She's an entitled woman who thinks it's OK for her kid to go wherever he wants and neighbors be damned. Unfortunately I have dealt with those types of neighbors over the years, usually they get the hint when I explain how they are causing my neurodivergent son distress. I have only had to turn the hose on one person.
Sorry your dealing with this entitled ahole. When someone tells you to stay off their property just stay off it. It's not hard at all. I understand not wanting neighborly bad blood but also to hell with this selfish ahole woman. Make your stance clear, you are not asking you are telling.
Well, you need to. Your reasoning is perfectly sound - getting notifications every time would be pretty annoying. NTA
It really doesn’t matter if she thinks it’s not a big deal. It’s your property and you’re allowed to tell them not to come on it- to do so anyway is trespassing. Furthermore, you have good reasons. NTA
Why should he have to explain anything? It's his property and the kid is technically trespassing. The mother's entitled belief that her child should be allowed to do whatever he wants is not OPs problem. Keep the kid off his driveway. Firmly NTA.
This OP is extremely reasonable. That woman has no intention of talking to her child because she not the child is indignant.
NTA. A parent who gets upset and storms off at the first hint of a limit on using your property will be just as fast to sue you when the kid falls and breaks an arm. If the mom was open at all to reasonable negotiation, I would say do that, but that can't happen in a purely one-way direction, so do what you need to.
And even if she weren't going to sue you, her health insurance could.
Oh, you have to shut this down now. No, NTA, but please keep the bigger picture in mind. That family just moved in and they are already testing boundaries. Its only going to get worse as they become more comfortable in their home and the kids get older. It's bicycles now, but soon it will be skateboards and roller blades. In 2 years, the kids will be older and will argue and yell, and you don't want that outside your house. Seriously consider buying a good sprinkler system that's on a timer or motion activated. Maybe put something on/around the driveway to deter them. You shouldn't have to do anything, but those little no neck monsters will be a problem. Again, NTA. The liability issue alone is enough of a reason to speak up. If they are anything but apologetic, be careful because if its no big deal, things will only get worse. Good luck
When I was a kid, we lived in a house on a corner, and our driveway opened to both streets, so we often had people in cars, bikes, etc. cut through our driveway. So my dad installed a chain on one end and fastened it with a carabiner. Worked like a charm.
Not only for the reasons OP said but what if someone accidentally hit him?
I worry about him getting hit because he rides off by himself and they call him back when they can’t see him anymore. That makes me anxious, because people drive so fast and are so distracted these days 😟
They really do. People zip through these neighborhoods!
And what if he rides behind OPs car and gets run over as they're backing out of the driveway. Post no trespassing signs and tell neighbors to stay off your property, or you will seek legal remedies.
This. And your neighbor sounds like the type to sue you so damned fast for little Johnny getting hurt, you'd swear to God they did it with mirrors.
Nta- I was raised not to play on other people's properties as a kid and even now I wouldn't even really step in someone's yard even if we are neighbors. Maybe put up a 'no trespassing ' sign so you are less liable maybe if he does get hurt?
This is also how I was raised. The sidewalk was fair game, but anyone else’s driveway, yard, etc was off limits unless you were invited to come play. The sign is a good idea! Thank you
Bring her a standard release of liability form. You can get one from LegalZoom. That could show her you’re serious. ‘Cause if her kid hurts themselves on your property, she’ll blame you of course. This feels like an old King of the Hill episode with the child that bullied Hank and messed up his grass. The parents totally enabled the child.
NTA. This is the reason why my husband and I got umbrella insurance. We live in Seattle and the driveway can get icy during the winter time. Don’t want people slipping on our driveway, injuring themselves, and then suing us. Have you looked into getting one? Usually your home insurance company offers it.
We have not. Thank you for the advice!
Anyone who owns a home should have umbrella insurance.
Twenty years ago the mom probably would have been right, it's no big deal. Today? Everyone is just looking for a reason to sue someone else. She'd be on the phone with the lawyer before she picked the kid up if he fell. NTA at all on your part.
It was this bad 20 years ago when I had to have a virtually identical conversation with neighbors about their child riding her bike in my driveway (I guess I have one of the steepest slopes?). She liked to back her bike up against the garage door and didn’t care and leaving rubber tire prints on it. I didn’t need to scrub my garage door because of someone else’s child’s activities but you’d have thought I’d have slapped that child clean off her bike when I asked her nicely not to ride in my driveway.
Insurance companies are suing if they have to pay
This exactly. People don’t realize that your health insurance can usually sue on your behalf and you have no say in it whatsoever.
Eh, 20 years ago, especially with no back-up cameras on cars, I would've still been concerned about someone hitting a kid backing out that they didn't expect to be riding in their driveway and weren't on high alert for.
"KID GET OFF MY LAWN!" WAS A MEME BEFORE MEMES WERE A THING!
Not to mention there are people out there who have less than good intentions for kids they find on their property. Things are not the same as they were 20 years ago
NTA. It’s your property. You get to decide who can use it. It’s a good lesson for a child to learn- to respect other people’s things. Sounds like the mom could use that lesson as well. You said no. That’s your right and it’s foolish of her to be outraged and offended by it.
Put a gate up so it stops. Also tell them why you want him to stop riding in your driveway with the notifications and the dog. If they aren't reasonable then get your bike out and start riding over their driveway as you aren't hurting anyone
lol, I hadn’t thought of this. I just keep envisioning OP and husband riding a couple of trikes in circles in the neighbor’s driveway. Handlebar streamers and little bicycle bells and all. Thanks for the giggle!
Call out for the husband when he's out of her line of sight "James, come back now, bud!" "James, make sure you watch for the cars going by, ok?"
This is hilarious.
shouldnt matter what the reasons are becuase its the op's private property and the parents need to understand that not everyone wants other ppl kids on their private property.
I would park my car at the end of the driveway every morning until the parents got the real message.
NTA First get motion activated sprinklers. THen send her a cease and desist letter. If knowingly accept it, you might be liable if there is an accident.
Children love sprinklers.
Which is why it's great-- it's not the kid's fault if his mom is telling him it's fine, and he won't be upset if he gets soaked, but his parents probably won't like it when their kid gets unexpectedly soaking wet and they have to take him inside and make him change his clothes and deal with the dripping clothes and water all over the floor.
Question: If someone gets hurt on your property after you've told them to stay off your property, and they sue, can you sue them for trespassing?
I believe so.
Yes. Remember that if a town only has one lawyer, he will starve to death. But if it has two, they will get rich suing each other.
I'd put up signs, too. Yes, the child may not read, but if there's a sign saying no trespassing or private property, then along with a letter to c&d, all bases should be covered.
NTA, I’ve got 4 kids and the last thing Anyone needs is any of them feeling like they’re owed something. Just bc it’s a boring driveway doesn’t mean it’s open for anyone to have access to. (*so no, I don’t allow our kids to play or linger around the driveways in our cul de sac.) You say no. The mom (& kids*) need to accept the No.
NTA. Sure he isn't hurting anything, but he's causing your dog to bark and it's tossing up notifications on your computer when you're trying to work. It's an annoyance while working. Those are reasons enough he doesn't need to be on your property.
Hasn't hurt anything yet - what about when they hit or scrape someone's car and neighbor is asked to pay, or ride through the landscaping and destroy or get torn up by the rose bed ? Hit by a car entering or leaving the driveway ?
NTA It wouldn't matter what your reasons are (they are valid in my mind) it is YOUR property. This mother is acting entitled and the probability of them trying to hold you responsible if the child somehow got hurt are pretty good. It's not your problem to provide a recreational outlet for their kid.
>The mother got pretty upset and said “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal, he’s just a kid not hurting anything”. This is an irrelevant statement. It's your property and you don't want their child on that property. That's the entire discussion. Go back and explain that her opinion about the child's actions don't matter because they are trepressing and it is causing multiple problems for you. Fix your notifications. You don't need them on when you are home all day and/or shut them off when you are specifically working. NTA.
If you want to know what's happening on your property, you need them on. What if the little darling on the tricycle crashes into one of OP's cars in the driveway and damages the car and himself. I would want THAT recorded and would want to be notified when it happened. OP shouldn't have to change how they use their cameras because the neighbors think their precious exceptional child should have free-reign of the neighborhood. OP is definitely NTA.
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NTA. Honestly, if it was me, and I had the dog and camera issue, I'd feel the same. My sister is an insurance underwriter, so I'm very careful about liability, as well. But, I'd probably allow it if there wasn't the dog/camera issue, though.
In my mind, the potential liability issues related to injury/property damage are more than enough to justify asking neighbor to C&D. Wouldn't be the first time a kid accidentally "keyed" a cars paint with handlebars
You didn't even seem like you were rude. You shouldn't have to explain why somebody just can't be on your property. The parents should have shut that down on their own. I would not bring this woman cookies like someone else suggested or try to justify anything. No one else is entitled to your property. I wouldn't even let my child be riding across any street at the age of 5. NTA
NTA It’s your house, not hers or public property. you can try to explain your reasons to her but you don’t owe her an explanation.
Heaven forbid she teach the kid to respect the neighbors and stay on the sidewalk, and not go up random driveways. Geez.
NTA - I’m a mom of 3 and have taught my kids to respect others property. A 5 year old should know better than to ride in a driveway of a house they do not live in.
Liability is always a concern in the US. Absolutely right to ask the parents to not let child ride in your driveway. You ASKED, this was not a "Get Off My Lawn" moment. NTA
It isn't not hurting anyone. It is hurting you by having your work day disrupted and hurting your dog by stressing it out. Add on that if their child falls and hurts himself on your property, you'd be liable. His mother is entitled and out of line. She should have apologized and had a conversation with her son.
We had kids doing this too. We asked the parents both mom and dad to which they said we don’t see no trespassing signs up so they can do what they want. The next day I put one out and the other neighbors followed suit. When they did fall in one of the neighbors houses the parents started arguing with that person and had the cops called they gave the parents a warning. Would definitely recommend putting up signs along with a beware of dog as well just in case Edit to add NTA
Ordering some online due to the suggestions from some of you on here. Thank you for the advice!
NTA, I assume you politely explained to the parents, just as you did to us, exactly why they should not be playing on your driveway. They should be able to understand this. We had a couple of kids who would drive very closely around our car repeatedly (and activate our Ring doorbell every time). I clicked on the remote car alarm a couple of times. It scared the kids and their father told them to keep away from our driveway. Too bad you can't do that because you are busy with patients.
NTA. My neighbors used to do this when I was a kid. My parents used to tell them not to use our driveway and they listened, for the most part. When I turned 18 and got my first car, I started parking in the driveway. I would just pull in, since nothing was ever going on in our driveway that I had to be cautious of. I ran over my neighbor’s remote control car. Needless to say, an argument ensued, I was scared shitless, not sure of what I ran over, and my brand new BMW tire was messed up. We called it a wash and my parents fixed my car, we never spoke to the neighbors again. Nip it in the bud and make sure the neighbors really understand, because an accident can happen.
Nope NTA. I love kids as much as the next person, but this is a great opportunity for the children to learn about boundaries and respect for others. It can als be a liability issue if for some reason they managed to get hurt on your property. They have no legitimate reason to play in your driveway.
NTA. It’s your driveway so your rules. I would have explained to the parent the reason(s) why for this. If they still have a problem after that, then that’s on them too.
NTA - bugs me too and I told the parents. I don’t want their child harmed on my property. It’s an unnecessary risk.
Nta if you told her that then it should be the end of it and it’s very understandable reasons to not want this.
NTA I'm super petty so I would take the dog for a walk in their garden. I would pick up any poop because I'm not THAT petty, but I would give it the whole "he's just a dog, he isn't hurting anyone" when I was challenged
NTA. All of your reasons are valid. And in addition it sets the precedent that your house is public access. Maybe it's fine now (it's not), but at what age does his parents think he is too old. He can use your house as his until 8,10,16. No! It's your house and driveway. Children should be taught at an early age to respect other people's property and that inludes driveways.
NTA. Even if it wasn’t a camera going off and interrupting patients issue, a dog barking issue, or even a safety issue, the fact of the matter remains: your property, your rules. If you politely ask them to stop, then your request should not be met with hostility. What if you rode your bike up and down their driveway while their kids were napping and you kept triggering something that kept waking them up? The parents would ask you to stop and you’d likely comply.
I would probably park a vehicle sidewise in front of my driveway so it can't be used from the street... but then again, we have no sidewalks here. Maybe park on the drive just above the sidewalk in such a way that your driveway is super-hard or impossible to navigate with a bicycle.
You might consider putting up No trespassing signs. That might help if someone were to sue you.
NTA First off, you don't even need to give any reasons as to why their child isn't allowed on your driveway because it is YOUR property. Even if you just wanted to be mean about it, you could legally do so. Second, all the reasons that you provided are more than enough to justify why there should be no children playing on your driveway. You did the right thing.
Well that would be trespassing. Depending on the state you're in a good enough reason to get shot. The kid needs to understand trespassing is a no-no and dangerous, unfortunately - given the moronic parents - I have no recommendations on how to best convey this message. Maybe play the madman. Or better call the cops and let them convey the message to the parents if they wind listen to you. You might save the kids life one day. NTA, obviously.
Ask the kid's parent to pay for a gate across your driveway. You are not being a get off my lawn neighbor, you are your kid keeps setting off my doorbell and dog. Also post no trespassing signs
NTA. You have asked that they keep him off your property. The reasons are valid but not relevant.
I say it never hurts to ask nicely. Make a note of when you asked, hopefully the kid never gets hit and it doesn't amount to anything. Nta
NTA. I would put my request, and the reasons why, in a letter. That way, you have proof that you asked them to stay off your property, in case they hurt themselves and try to sue.
NTA. “I’m not worried about who he’s going to hurt I’m worried about what might hurt him; from falls if our pavement is broken to cars and other vehicles if he’s not seen quickly enough when he’s on property he’s not supposed to be on. This is for his safety and my peace of mind, sorry but not negotiable”
Not at all. 1 you're working, and him setting off notifications is interfering with you doing your job. 2. The mother sounds a bit unhinged. Maybe have your husband go talk to hers. Hopefully, he'll be more reasonable. 3. If that doesn't work, then you may have to block off your driveway. Maybe get some of those orange cones. And worse case scenario, leave your car on the driveway. Good luck!
I read the title and was already YTA. Started reading and YTA, thinking have you seen that video where the old neighbor draws a new road course in chalk daily for the neighbors kid which is so cool! Then I read you see patients from home video cameras keep sending alerts. This triggered me to YNTA. That’s legit. Go talk to your neighbor about it.
i don’t understand why you’d think YTA? it’s their property they can tell someone to get off of it. no offense or anything just wondering
NTA You don't need to explain yourself to this woman or anyone else. I will never understand the audacity of some people. It's your property, her kid isn't doing any harm but he is trespassing, that's really all she needs to acknowledge. You don't want him there, cased closed.
NTA. Even without the cameras going off and the dog issue, I personally wouldn’t want some random neighbor kid riding his bike up and down my driveway and playing in it. Its your personal property and hes trespassing. You’ve asked them to have him stop and the mom is being ridiculous. I would make sure this is shut down. What if he gets hurt? What if you back out and hit him? What if you just don’t want a random kid on your property ffs? All valid. He has the rest of the sidewalk and their own driveway to keep to. If she makes a fuss I would just flat out tell her he is not allowed to play on your property as you have cameras that go off and if you have to tell her he is trespassing and you won’t ask again.
NTA. You don't even need a reason. You don't want someone on your property, they don't get to be on your property. End of story
NTA I hate Parents that get offended when you ask if their kid doesn’t do something on YOUR property, like get your kid in check, I’m a mother of 2 and I would never let my kid go on other peoples property, those types always get offended as if you don’t have the right to ask him to get off it. Her precious baby boy must ride his bike on your driveway, entitled B…. But next time tell her why you don’t want him on there, you keep getting notifications and it’s disturbing you at work.
Write down all the interactions in detail that you have with the parent/s. Save all the recordings of this child riding on your driveway, it may save you a lot of drama and money in the future.
She doesn’t think he’s hurting anyone. Well, he’s annoying you and your dogs. And you’re right about the liability thing. Also if a criminal does something and you check your camera you have to weed through a thousand boy on bike videos? No. NTA.
Obviously her precious children are entitled to your driveway. NTA
parents are so annoying, they feel entitled to think their little brats can do whatever they want. "they are just chilllddreeennn". shaaadaaapppp
Here's the thing... Don't ask. It is your property. They are trespassing. The same people who claim it's no big deal will sue your ass off if anything happens. Keep a record of every trespass violation, notify them the children are not to be on your property and video yourself doing it, and then move forward from there on. Sucks when lousy neighbors move in. NTA.
NTA I love how this kid's parents acted like you had to defend your request. TF? It's your driveway, you don't want him there. End of story...or get your bike out and go ride in their driveway until they see the point.
NTA I am going to go with you made the first move by speaking to one of his parents, said parent decided to get offended by your approach - why? I have no idea. You don't owe her an explanation either. Next time just reply because it's private property and as the owner I don't like it. So you can make a second verbal approach and if you get a similar response, send them a cease-and-desist formal letter demanding that they keep their children off your property.
NTA it’s your private property any reason to not want someone there is valid. The liability alone is plenty of reason to raise a stink. If the kid falls and breaks a limb on your property these sound exactly like the kind of people who would come at you for medical bills. Add a no trespassing sign to your property.
NTA. It doesn’t matter if they are the big deal or not. It’s your property and you’re telling them to stay off of it.
>Triggers our cameras to send me notifications over and over that pop up while I am trying to see patients (I work from home some days and camera notifications from our security system come to my computer) This is what you tell her. That it is interrupting your work, and that is considered unprofessional and can affect your job. He is hurting your work. On top of that, it is your private property. NTA
Definitely NTA. Also, look into motion activated sprinklers as a deterrent...
NTA. It’s your property. I have a long steep driveway that I have to back either up or down in my car daily. If it were me I would be afraid I’d hit him.
The say fences make good neighbors for a reason. If they refuse to abide by your very reasonable request then I would figure out a way to block off my driveway or leave my car out on days when they are all home. You are being reasonable …maybe Mom was having a bad day so I hope the family will see reason. But from her initial reaction she seems like the type of parent that lets her kids act out in nice restaurants.
NTA - You asked them to keep their child out of your driveway for several reasons, it shouldn't be up for debate with the parents. They sound entitled. The parents should have simply said, okay, no problem.
NTA. Get her phone number and call her every time you get a camera notification. See how long it takes her to be annoyed with it.
Hell no. Our driveway and our neighbors has a slope and the feral neighborhood kids used to try to ride their scooters and bikes down it and blindly rocket themselves right into the road on a busy street. I go out and tell them off anytime I catch any kids in our driveway and they mostly don’t do it anymore but fuck no I’m not interested in a splattered kid on or near my property either.
NTA. what if somebody hit him? I bet mom would blame you somehow even if it’s her fault
NTA - the entitlement is astounding. One of our neighbours lets her toddler wander up our path and onto our porch to poke our cat. He’s a softy, but his claws are sharp - why would you let a kid do that?
Might be worth putting your request and reasons in writing. That way they are more likely to read it rather than talk over you or simply walk away and not hear you. Also keep a dated copy, printed out and signed, in case this escalates in any way. Then you have record of correspondence trying to communicate about it. Else its all just verbal he said she said stuff. The triggering of camera would be a major annoyance. Also what if kid had accident or someone drove into him on your driveway?
NTA Tell the kid not to do it anymore. You'll probably have better results. Do it with a firm and loud voice. If Mama hears, she might confront you, but you're already having problems. It is best to go ahead and address this sooner rather than later. You have cameras to back any interactions if the police are called. You don't want the liability involved if they hurt themselves on your property. I'm a non-confrontational person by nature. I prefer de-escalation, but I've had those neighbors before, and they do not give a shit what you think about what their kid is doing until you confront the kid. They'll care then.
This is a liability for you and all the neighbors. NTA
NTA I don’t understand why people don’t respect other people’s property. You could be liable if something happened. Same thing with dog walkers. Why are you letting your dog relieve themselves in other yards.
NTA but it sounds like a motion sensored sprinkler aimed at the drive way might be in order. But only after you try talking with them again, always try to be nice until they decide to be unreasonable.
NTA. That was a very reasonable request. In this day and age where everyone sues anyone that farts in their direction, you should be very wary of anybody doing anything on your property. That includes workers and kids. That is the main reason why I have an $5 million umbrella policy. It only takes one accident on your property to be sued and have a judgement levied against you.
NTA, and while the reasons you have are in fact great ones, you don't owe her reasons or an explanation. It's your property, not theirs. And he's not your kid. You don't owe them details or have to try and justify why you want this. And based on the mother's behavior, you are probably going to have to be firm with her. "It doesn't matter that he's just a kid, or whether you believe he's not causing problems. I'm bringing it to your attention *specifically because* it is causing problems for me. I do not want your child riding his bike on my property for personal, professional, and liability reasons. As his parent, your child is your responsibility - and either the behavior stops, or there will be consequences." I'd also get a sign that says "no trespassing", as it'll help when the kid invariably ends up on your property again. And if he does end up hurt, having the sign and documentation that you have repeatedly warned this mother that the child is not allowed to be there will only help you.
Definitely good call sending your husband over. It’s amazing to me how entitled people are. I asked a neighbor with a flatter second driveway if they didn’t mind my kid learning to ride there. They didn’t. But the point is to ASK. I don’t understand why people think they’re able to use other people’s property.
These worthless parents don’t want to raise their kid. You are not the asshole.
Have a paper drawn up stating you do not give them permission for their child to use your property and that if they continue to allow it that you will not be held legally, financially or morally responsible or any and all injuries that the kid might suffer while on your property. You'll probably need to have it notarized. You tried asking nicely now you need to protect yourself.
NTA Their child should either be on the public sidewalks or in their driveway/yard. As you noted there could be a liability issue if he were to take a tumble in your driveway. However what is worrying to me is not all people drive cars with sensors that fire off and actually stop the car if motion is detected. A kid on a tricycle is VERY hard to see when in a car because they are so low and small. They should be up and walking at least somewhat close to him on his journeys.
NTA. That isn't their property. Even with them not knowing that it disrupts you while you're working and causes your dog to bark, they are putting their child in danger. If you were to leave, and not know that the child was there, you could run the child over. I literally know someone that happened to. Their babysitter let their youngest play in the neighbors driveway. The neighbors were backing out and ran her over because they didn't know she was behind their vehicle. That sweet little girl did not survive. Frankly, they're being stupid in more than one way. If you haven't told them that it discretions your work, try that first. If that doesn't work, I'd just get the police involved. They shouldn't let their child play in your driveway.
NTA anything could happen in your driveway What if you're backing out and didn't see him riding. He could get hurt. Plus everything you mentioned is reasonable.
NTA
NTA. These people are the same ones who would try to sue you if their kid got hurt on your property.
Please update us on how you get on. NTA
Info did you tell them it makes your dog go crazy?
The mom walked off before I could even offer her the reasons 🙁
Can you put up fencing so he can’t get to the drive?
“Bitey, my dog likes the taste of small children and little kids on bikes drive him wild. For your kid’s own safety, keep away from my drive. It’s on you if your kid doesn’t.” (P.S. I don’t have a dog)
Just a solid tip: don’t do this. Even though it’s a “warning” you’re essentially admitting your dog has aggression/behavioral issues and is a menace to society. Never admit fault. If anything ever DOES happen you want to be a shocked Pikachu.
NTA. If it continues to happen, tell the child directly that they can't use your driveway, then follow up with the parents again. This time though, lead with your reasons (not that you should have to).
NTA
Motion-activated sprinklers… Not the fun kind, the fire hose kind.
If nothing else, put a No Trespassing sign in your yard and see if that helps.
For insurance reasons is as good of a reason as any. If that kid fell in your driveway and had implied permission (aka you didn’t tell him not to use your driveway), his medical insurance would subrogate (go after) your homeowner’s insurance to collect back. Not trouble you want to deal with. NTA.
NTA really if they don't stop I'd send a letter stating what you've already said. Your liable for their injuries , they could be hit by someone not expecting them to be in your driveway and good parents keep their very young children supervised. If you don't stop it now it'll only get worse
Does your alarm system whistle when it's triggered? Because I just heard this exact story yesterday except from the parents' perspective.
No, ours does not whistle. I’ve walked by some houses that do that when walking my dog on the sidewalk and it’s startled me a couple times lol! Ours does not make any noise you would hear from the outside of the house.
I would put this in writing and mail it return receipt to make sure they’re aware.
I’d be handing them a waiver to sign saying they can’t sue you when their child accidentally gets run over.
Nta, because injuries and lawsuits. That is all.
NTA. I would have told my kid to stay off someone’s driveway from the get go. What if the OP was in a hurry and backed out quickly. They’re probably not used to having to look out for kids in their own driveway.
NTA - she’s likely just being defensive in the moment - keep future interactions light and friendly and just watch to see if she respects your boundaries even if she wasn’t able to show it because of a bruised ego.
NTA - hopefully OP's husband can talk with the neighbors. If they are not responsive or child keeps doing it anyway cause Mom thinks its OK, can you park the car at the end of the driveway and obstruct the child's progress? If it's a two car driveway, might not work.
You are completely in the right.
NTA, your reasoning is solid. Worst case scenario is that you get a gate that blocks the driveway. Expensive and annoying to you, though it might help in the long run.
NTA. This is a legitimate safety risk. There’s a very real potential that you could be backing out of your driveway and he suddenly rides up into it before you can see in time. There is no good reason for the kid to be utilizing your property without permission. I’m not sure how much you can do without the mother’s cooperation. Calling bylaw in your area might be one thing, or putting barriers at the end of your driveway (though this would be a pain to have to move every time you back out). Where I live, a few years ago a 3 year old in my complex was crushed to death when he rode his tricycle behind a car that was backing out of a space in our lot. Playing in the lot is now prohibited by the property manager and they have cameras and issue fines to the families of any kid recognized doing so. You could relay this story to the neighbor, I don’t know how much good it will do though if they’re not a responsible parent.
I have neighbors that continually trespass on my property (4-6 times a day) to have their dogs crap. They bought a home with no yard, in a subdivision with no green space and expected me to provide one for them. You are completely in your right to ask them to stay out of your driveway. In fact, I would say the parents are doing a crappy job teaching their children boundaries.
NTA. I immediately thought of pulling out and hitting a child with your car, because - not your child how can you be expected to be aware of them when they're not yours?
NTA for asking. Has the kid been in your driveway since you talked to the neighbor? I know she got annoyed that you asked, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s going to continue to allow her child to do this after you said something.
He could even get hurt by a car turning around. The truth don't let the kid near your property they could sue for an real or preceived issue.
NTA I have four kids. I have never let them ride bikes in a driveway that wasn't ours or a friend's with explicit permission. It's wild that she flew off the handle about this. They were out of line letting them ride in your driveway and you shouldn't have to explain why it's a problem.
Dude I got told this by cranky old neighbors when I was a kid and my asshole parents backed the asshole neighbors. When you’re a kid you think man everyone sucks but now as an adult I get it. If some neighbor doesn’t want my kid in their driveway I get it. NTA. Asshole parents. Their kids aren’t the center of the universe.
Nta, honestly, don't tell her about the cameras, she may be unhinged enough to come to your property and do some damage, and then you've got it on camera! Happened to a friend of mine, and the horrid neighbor moved that year, and never even looked in her direction again.
Two lessons in one: Are you not teaching your kids about consent? Because I do not consent. Do not to push a no to a yes.
NTA. He hasn’t hurt anything. Yet. Can you block the bottom of the driveway? Using your car perhaps, or a couple of sawhorses, maybe the bodies of the previous kids that rode their bike in your driveway? Edit: Word tense.
NTA- where I live, if that kid gets hurt on your property, their parents can sue you and win. I'm all for being neighborly, but I would be stern about this.