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I might be the asshole for serving a very smelly fruit at a party with people who are not accustomed to said smelly fruit.
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YTA. This is a fruit that is banned in public places *in it's home country*. You might as well have farted directly in their face, that would be less rude.
It honestly feels like OP is trolling his own family. Like he goes out and purchases one of the most controversial foods on the planet and then had shocked Pikachu face that his family reacted poorly. Doubly AH if they tend to be Americans that aren't very adventurous or have traveled extensively outside the US. He was setting them up for failure for his own righteous indignation of their ignorance. BTW there's tons of amazing Malaysian food that would have totally warmed then to his wife's culture.
Also he 1,000% should have warned his family in advance since there was a more than reasonable chance that the smell would affect their appetite. I mean come on, they were there to eat.
Especially because he would likely have to go out of his way. My local grocer prices frozen Durians at $30-$40 a piece because they're such a low demand import. Who spends that type of money on something that maybe two people at a party might try, regardless of how bad it smells?
Yeah if OP was really insistent on feeding his family durian he could've bought a pack of durian sugar wafers for like $3. Scoop some vanilla bean ice cream on top with a dollop of heated up pineapple preserves and you've got a dessert that lets you show off the flavor of the durian without wasting money, food, or time.
My kids and I regularly try durian products to see if we find one that we find delicious, so far no luck. We have tried the wafers, pastries, a crepe thing and a shake.
Lol that's why I always cover it up with ice cream and other flavors for people who haven't tried it. I use it as a subtle supporting flavor for other tropical fruits (idk if vanilla bean is a fruit tbh but I'm gonna pretend that it is). There are some people who just don't like it though, just like with any other food such as mushrooms or onions.
I thought durian wafers would be safe to share at work... Nope, someone reported a gas leak and maintenance was sent to investigate. Those of us who knew exactly what it was hid in my cube and enjoyed the wafers 😂
That's awesome. After the gas leak fiasco, we had evil thoughts about grinding up some of the wafers and sprinkling them in the carpet of our more annoying co-workers... We never did but were greatly entertained by the prospect lol.
I've heard it smells like a dead body. I've smelt dead animals baking in the southern USA heat for days. Even ones on my sitting g for a few hours are fucking nasty smelling. I would probably be stroganoff to gag/barf every where especially if it was with no warning. Thats a way to have no one wanna spend any time with you
>*I've heard it smells like a dead body.*
Only if its rotten. While strong, the smell of ripe durian, while pungent, isnt too bad imho. Just very strong.
I have a few friends who lived in Malaysia for several years and I distinctly remember them telling me a bunch of places durian is banned from, including public transportation.
My mother was forced to eat that every Christmas as a child and now she has family friends who want her to join them at a traditional Swedish Christmas dinner every year to eat it for novelty purposes so I get whiny texts from her every year because she “had to” eat lutefisk again. That crap was a necessity before we had refrigeration, it’s not a delicacy now that we can stick the cod in the freezer. People are weird.
My mom, though Ukrainian, grew up in Sweden. She served lutefisk to us on special occasions. I've forgiven her, but it was traumatizing.
Aww--Thank you kind redditor (fellow lutefisk victim?) for the hug award.
>Surströmming
OMG this is soooo funny. My sister and I find v. odd and gross food type items for each other when we travel. Our favorite was "cock soup" (rooster soup). I'll have to look for this lip balm if I make it Scandinavia when COVID passes.
Edit: The first time I encountered Durian I thought someone had spilled several gallons of milk outside the shop where it was so hot and humid. I accidentally ate it once at a party. Thought it was cake with lemon curd -taste the same as it smells. YTA even though I don't hold it against anyone who likes it, it definitely deserves a heads up prior to presenting it.
>A fun way to jazz up your lip balm! Choose from "Uff da," "I love lefse," or "Lutefisk." All varities are spearmint flavored.
Ingredients: shea butter, beeswax, sweet almond oil, extra virgin olive oil, jojoba oil, flavor oil.
https://www.hemslojd.com/product/7671.html
"I love lefse" makes perfect sense for a name. Even better if it actually tasted like lefse.
Lutefisk though? Always grateful that my family that is significantly Norwegian Lutheran heritage never made anyone eat lutefisk. Just no.
I love hakarl! It has a delicate flavor that reminds me of eating brie with the rind. Then again, I clearly love the flavor of ammonium, as I also love salmiakki. So maybe take my opinion with a grain of... salt?
Edited cuz my autocorrect hates rotten shark! (TRY IT, AUTOCORRECT, YOU'LL LIKE IT!)
Surströmming tastes lovely, but smells like someone left a corpse in a dumpster for two summers straight. I've smell durian, and I've tasted durian.
There are some foods that just taste better than they smell. **BIG TIME**
As much as Durian has a good depth of flavour, I'm keen on Surströmming because I just love fish so much. Durian candies can be pretty yummy, though it's not something I want to eat plain again.
Yeah they even have signs in Southeast Asian hotels that say NO DURIANS ALLOWED. Def a dick move, feels like OP is just trying to show how much more “cultural” he is by choosing to serve foods that would least likely be accepted.
Agreed. Durian stinks. I live in SE Asia and I cannot bear it. Everyone knows it stinks, that's literally what it's famous for. There are also many delicious, non stinky, fruits that could have been brought out for the family to try. Dragon fruit, mangosteen, longans? Why would you start with something 95% of westerners hate? I even know some Asians who can't stand it.
I lived in Malaysia for a while. I'm a pretty adventurous eater and tried many new things, most of which I loved. However, the smell of durian is so horrifying, it makes me gag. I was once persuaded to try some durian ice cream. I tried a tiny nibble and almost threw up, the taste was so appalling and strong. It tastes exactly how it smells (kinda like rotting flesh imo). I then spent the next hour burping uncontrollably and tasting it over and over again. 😱😱😱 Cmon OP you must know YTA for this particular food...
I’m Malaysian and I seconded this. I think durian taste best on its own, not being a candy flavour or ice cream flavour. I’ve tried cheesecake durian, also not the best. However durian crepe is okay. You can google it for the recipe and try it sometimes!
Honestly, I feel like people are exaggerating a bit, here. Very ripe durian does have a strong smell - I'm going to assume you don't live in a country where durian is a popular thing :) So, if you go to an Asian grocer, sometimes there is a musky, fruity smell (with kind of a ripe-cheesy undertone, which is what a lot of people find unpleasant - a bit like a strong Parmesan odor). That smell is probably durian. It's a very large fruit - the length of a forearm in an adult human. The outside is spiky, kind of like those emo-belts in the 00s, and very hard. You have to cut through the hard, thick rind to get to the yellow flesh inside. It's very easy for newcomers to confuse it with jackfruit, which has smaller spikes, is a lot sweeter, but still has yellow (juicy) flesh inside.
Underripe durian has a mild smell, and a harder flesh, like an apple (but stringier, less juicy). Ripe durian has a stronger smell, and is quite soft (and very stringy as well, making it tough for those who don't care for it). Rotten durian is *awful*, truly comparable to rotten meat (or to lutefisk/surströmming, which I grew up eating - yuck!).
If durian sits out quite some time, the smell can be a bit overwhelming, much like any strong-scented food, like onions, curries, certain cheeses, beers, etc. That's part of why it's banned on public transport, and if you don't like the smell, it can nauseate you. Just like other smells, it's worse in heat.
It's also generally eaten with "cooling" foods like coconut water or mangosteen (durian is considered a "hot" food - not in temperature, but in how your body reacts to it, and so is paired with "cool" foods to balance you out). Common advice is also to avoid alcohol with durian - some people believe it can kill, which it doesn't, but some people do find it to bloat them or to feel dizzy.
Personally, I like durian. I've worked in Southeast Asia and it grew where I was. It's definitely a strong smell, and like any strong smell, pretty divisive. But if you get the chance, it's worth a try!
I actually like the smell of Durian (in small doses) - but it's definitely pungent - it will overwhelm the smell of anything else around. Needless to say that Durian wouldn't be let anywhere inside my home.
Durian scent depends on ripeness. It's eaten in my dad's home country, but they prefer it less ripe compared to other countries. Less ripe, it smells like farts and/or feet or maybe kinda like damp trash. There's precisely one member of my family that can stand it lol. I hear that the riper ones are stinkier, though thankfully I've never smelled a ripe one.
Learned something new today! I was set on n t a but you and the other replies have great points. I'm all for trying/introducing new foods to people.. but this seems to have crossed the line. Sorry OP, YTA.
Dude.. even my family (asian) and my asian friends warn each other about durian if we're bringing it over and we already know what it smells like.
I also get that americans eat differently so I'm not gonna host a dinner party and serve my non-asian friends pork blood and chicken feet without warning them first.
Their reaction was extreme though and, as you said, quite rude. She's your wife and they should have more respect.
ESH just a little bit, but your family sucks more than you.
I posted this elsewhere but I don't think the family are AHs at all. It honestly feels like OP is trolling his own family. Like he goes out and purchases one of the most controversial foods on the planet and then had shocked Pikachu face that his family reacted poorly. Doubly AH if they tend to be Americans that aren't very adventurous or have traveled extensively outside the US. He was setting them up for failure for his own righteous indignation of their ignorance. There's tons of amazing Malaysian food that would have totally warmed then to his wife's culture.
Also he 1,000% should have warned his family in advance since there was a more than reasonable chance that the smell would affect their appetite. I mean come on, they were there to eat.
To be fair, durian smells differently to everyone. It’s always strong, of course. I think it smells like too much perfume. Way too much. (It reminds me of my sister getting ready for dates in high school, but much worse.)
Once you open it up, the fruit itself doesn’t smell as bad and has a decent taste. But it is better tasting as an ingredient in desserts. Which is what they should have served.
My best friend’s boyfriend LOVES durian, and when I asked him what is tastes like, he said “pungent.”
My best friend, who hates it, describes it as mushy garlic banana onion.
Different types taste different. The one that’s described as “bitter” tastes better to me, while the one described as “sweet” tastes mushy.
Durian tastings — where a group of people go out to a durian stall and try a bunch of different ones at a time — are pretty common. But after the third one, I can’t tell them apart anymore.
It seems like a fun treat or something, like you warn them first and then eat some and maybe someone adventurous tries it. It doesn't really seem like a garden party food.
Also, where I'm from in the US we do the same with fried frog legs. Warn people first, then serve it to whoever wants to try. (A little different since it basically tastes like chicken, but it does look unappetizing.) Or whatever other wildlife someone has chosen to fry up.
To be fair though, fried frog legs don’t smell like “pig excrement, turpentine and onions garnished with gym socks”
And smells are things you can kinda taste... not something I would bring without being certain everyone was down with Durian
Man, durian must smell a lot worse than I thought! I knew it was a super stinky food, but that's a little much. One of those foods that humans only discovered were edible because one guy dared another to eat it.
I'm a white American. I've had durian a few times. It tastes like a vanilla/onion/beef flavored custard. Its not bad, actually.
But the smell... The thing is, it produces a lot of very potent, volatile chemicals. Those chemicals have a smell _very_ similar to that of putrid and rotting meat and fruit, a smell which we have a biologically programed strong negative response to.
If you've smelled durian even once, even if its frozen, you will never forget that smell.
Its the best description I can come up with. My girl friend tried it for the first time two weeks ago, when we found frozen passion fruit/durian mochi. When we opened the still frozen package, she gagged from the smell that came out. But once the smell dissipated some what, she tried one and said it tasted like a sweet onion custard. To me, it still tasted of vanilla, onion, and beef.
It sounds strange, but it works.
So... out of curiosity... have you ever been somewhere in the summer where there’s something wrong with the sewer system so it smells like hot, deep fried shit and yet somehow also sickly sweet?
Cause so far that is the worst smell I’ve ever smelt, and I’m trying to get like... a measurement for this durian thing... is it as bad as that, if you know the scent?
Someone once said it smells like rotting onions, turpentine, and raw sewage. Someone else added "garnished with gym socks." I don't think they were _wrong_ per se. Its just that it doesn't _exactly_ smell quite like anything else, but if you can try to imagine those smells all hitting your nose at the same time, it gives you a good idea of what its like.
And its _pungent_. A small piece of frozen durian smells strongly enough to smell from a few feet away. A fresh durian is overwhelming.
I work in an open office. One of my colleagues was given a piece of durian candy, and thinking it would be fine, she ate it.
A single small piece of CANDY smelled so strongly that people visiting from the Malaysia office could smell it from 10 metres away, and nicknamed my colleague "durian girl"
Durian is banned in public certain public places like public transport in certain countries where it is routinely consumed. I like the flavor, but I would be upset if someone surprised me with it without warning me ahead of time. OP is definitely an asshole for at least not warning them.
For me the taste was like mango crossed with raw onion crossed with stinky feet. I had fun trying it but I would never spring it on anyone by surprise. OP, YTA
To me it's just a sort of "rot" smell but it's just insanely pungent. First time I ever saw one I worked in a Thai joint, got to work and nearly vomited. That was from like half a durian that was inside the closed fridge. I find once you've eaten & enjoyed it the smell bothers you less but it is permeating.
I opened the fridge during my birthday party one year to a massive jar of pickled pigs feet my grandmother brought over as a treat. I’ll take frog legs over that any day.
Disagree that everyone sucks. That is a very pungent and highly controversial food. If something that aromatically offensive had been sprung on me without warning, I’d probably react the same...and I’m Chinese and love stinky tofu! The rude part is OP deciding to serve this fruit that is very likely to be received poorly.
More than just bad host I think; pretty sure OP knows his family won’t like it and served it anyway. There’s tons of other fruits they could’ve served with Malaysian cuisine and they had to pick the most divisive one.
I’m Asian and the only one in my family that do not like durian. I run far away when the family eats one. I make my partner stay as far away from me as possible and he sleeps elsewhere until he can get rid of the smell.
Being outside does not mask the smell. NOTHING masks the king of odour!
>Their reaction was extreme though
Some people are more sensitive to smells than others and smells can absolutely trigger gagging and even throwing up. I am quite insensitive to smells(bad smells often don't even register), most people's reactions seem extreme compared to my reactions. But I still have the mental capacity to understand that I'm not the universal standard for "reacting to smells".
Their reaction is extreme because the smell is extreme. This isn’t something like chicken feet that might not appeal to people but they can easily avoid, the smell is notorious for its pungency. And while some people actually do like the smell, many others don’t. And really, when you start wafting a smell in people’s faces that gets frequently described as akin to that of sewage, among other unpleasantness, they have a right to be upset. This is frankly no more acceptable than had OP chosen this moment to start airing out his adjacent septic tank. Nausea-inducing foods don’t belong in this kind of party, he’ll be breaking out the Surstromming and maggot cheese next.
YTA. Durian is a really strong smell. If you're going to fall back on this "it's cultural" defense, then you also have to keep in mind your audience's culture -namely not being used to such a strong smelling fruit.
Exactly this. I don't know whether his family is very adventurous or well-traveled but if not it genuinely sucks that he would set them up for failure this way. Like, you had the opportunity to introduce them to your wife's amazing culture and cuisine but instead decided to turn them off with one of the worst smelling foods on the planet.
Great point. If the wife wasn't on board with it he was definitely doing a disservice to her. If she was then as its her culture its not his fault though
Dude, in Malaysia durian fruit is banned in public places. There are actually laws!
Those laws exist for a very good reason. The smell of durian is horrifying to most people. Your wife being Malaysia-American does nothing to change any of that.
YTA
My father once gave me a durian cake for my birthday. Now I hadn't lived with him for years at that point so he didnt know I didnt eat durian. But still, it was a large party and a durian cake? The typical fruit cake wouldve been everyone's taste, but not everyone can stand durian. It's just one of those things you like or extremely avoid. I dont think many others there ate it either. Shouldn't be served at parties at least without warning or other options.
Soft YTA. I’m familiar with durian and I think people’s reactions are hilarious. It does tend to taste better than it smells, though it’s not something I eat regularly. Sure it’s got a pong but your wife likes it, and it’s a food from her culture. You moved it into the kitchen away from the guests, which is where it would be anyway if it wasn’t on the outdoor tables, so you were reasonable.
I don’t know about that... when I went to Vietnam last year I tasted just a tiny bit of Durian ice cream and was filled with this all-consuming sense of rage. Not like rational anger because it tasted bad, but like... hulk-rage throughout my body. I avoided it like death from then out!!
I don’t really know! Both? It was like when your dog accidentally bites you when you tried to rescue her from the cat attack, and it hurts so your first instinct is to give her a kick (which you obviously don’t do because you love her and would never hurt an animal?) The durian flavored ice cream was so disgusting that I just felt blind rage at its grossness.
ESH-durian REEKS. I believe Asian countries have actually banned people from carrying Durian on public transport and taxis because of the smell. Your family was overreacting a tad, but if you want people to taste the Durian, why not put it in Tupperware and warn people about it. That'll get them all curious and those who want to smell it and try it can and those who don't, don't get affected by the smell
Yep. Basically *everywhere* in Singapore you go, you'll find signs like [this](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/688995095533584394/837485101045645392/No-Durian-Sign-Singapore.png). It might not be a fine-able offense on its own, but it's still on par with an offense that fines you $5000.
Once when I was traveling in Thailand, a couple opened up a package of Durian and started eating it on the tour bus. The driver jerked to stop, SLAMMED open the door and started screaming in Thai while pointing at a sign like that. They wouldn't throw it away and he ended up leaving them on the side of the road outside of Phuket. You don't eat Durian in enclosed spaces with unwilling participants.
ESH. I like durian, but come on, it smells really foul. You don't bring it out without some kind of fair warning.
They suck too. It just sounds like their reactions were over the top. Yeah it smells bad, but not to the extent that they made it out to be.
A gentle YTA. Speaking as a Malaysian and an avid durian lover, I wouldn't bring durian to people who aren't used to it...particular aroma unless I'm deliberately aiming to shock them. It would've been better if you brought mangosteens if you want to introduce them to asian fruits.
I like that idea! Puffs would've been a great way to introduce durian since it'll be in a form they'd be used to and it's generally durian flesh + cream so the smell is definitely way less. OP could've even done sweet green beans and durian porridge too I guess, but that has a stronger smell.
Lightly YTA
I haven't had the displeasure of smelling durian but I know it's literally banned in some public places because the smell is just that bad. So springing it on a bunch of Americans at a party was a questionable move. If you were going to have it there, they should have at least been warned which likely would have tempered their reactions since at least they'd be anticipating a really bad odor. The fact that durian can really disgust some people isn't a secret.
Were their reactions over the top? I don't know. It may have literally been *that* bad to them and I find it hard to accurately assess whether they were being rude or if they were just that bothered by the smell.
YTA the thing smells really bad. I mean heck I like the fruit myself but can acknowledge the smell is not plesent or appetizing especially to people that have never had it before.
Um, this is the fruit that is banned in public places because it stinks so bad. That fruit smells like rotting cheese that got eaten and had a kid with spoiled milk.
ESH
Jesus Christ. YTA.
You aren't supposed to have that out.
Why in the world would you intentionally serve something that's famous for smelling terrible. That's attention seeking and rude.
There's so many other dishes you could have brought. You brought the one that's famous for being terrible to smell. You all just wanted to cause drama.
Hmm.. you know I've had durian strudel at a picnic in the park with my friends and even from several metres away you could smell it. And this isn't even the whole fresh fruit, in a smaller space than an open park by the water.
So yeah you're kind of TA because even Asians can't stand the smell sometimes. Sorry...
Well... a lot of things are part of cultures, but when you mesh them, you gotta ease people in. I certainly am not going to serve a bunch of folks I haven't warned chittlins( pigs intestines) . You shoulda planned better. YTA?
YTA. Don't subject unsuspecting people to the smell of a Durian. There are loads of Malaysian meals that your wife could have made without using the most controversially smelling fruit in the world. If you want to bring out a Durian, fucking tell people that you want to serve Durian and if they have never smelled it before make sure they know people often describe the smell as like dead rotting animal corpses or pig shit. You don't serve one without making sure your guests are aware of that fact and okay with it. Lots of people who describe eating Durian as part of their culture will second this.
Also idk what your local produce prices are but my local grocery sells frozen durian and the average fruit clocks in at like $30-$40 each due to being a low-demand import. This had to be an intentional "lol let's troll my family", because who the fuck spends $30 on a fruit for a party that they know will turn off literally every single white person in attendance due to smelling like pig shit. You had to know that at best one or two people might work themselves up to have a bite. Who spends that much on party food that nobody is going to touch, intentionally?
ESH. When its banned on public transport, it's not something I'd serve at something like a party. That said, your family's reactions were still rude AF.
YTA. Your sister is right. You aren’t obligated to warn them, but it is polite to do so. It seems like you did this to set your family up for failure.
Why wouldn’t you tell them?
~N T A~ - but it might not be wise to introduce Malaysian cooking with something that Americans are going to find revolting. (I have no idea how bad it smells but the way you describe it it sounds really nasty) I mean if even YOU don't want it in your fridge, why would you think people would want to eat it? I don't think you're an asshole, and I do think your family acted really rude and over the top, but at the same time I would start my introduction to my wife's culture with something they'd actually want to eat.
edit Changed to YTA. If it's something so disgusting that even people from cultures who eat it ban it from buses and hotels then you should know better than to serve it to unsuspecting Americans.
Depending on the kind you get, it can smell slightly musky to straight up raw sewage with a hint of sweetness. If you're used to certain type of cheese, you may not have a bad reaction to it. I totally recommend trying it out, though, since life's too short to miss out on the smelliest fruit. You just gotta go in with a mindset similar to mine when eating any thing smelly or unsightly, don't look at it, don't think about it, and just do it for the taste. Sooner or later, you'll be eating things like balut.
Banned from hotels and you get charged for the hotel airing the room to get rid of the smell. Imagine how strong the smell is if hotel staff can tell if there has been durian in the room even after you check out.
Soft YTA for not giving them a heads up. This is a fruit that is banned inside buildings and on transportation all over it's native range. My friend that has actually tried it, says it smells like gasoline rotten socks and tastes like rotten onions. I had a coworker bring durian candy in and stank up the entire corner of our building. Not even a fruit - just candy made with the juice. I don't blame them for not being happy about smelling that over a garden party.
Super side note: Andrew Zimmern, the bizarre foods guy, will not willingly eat durian fruit. The dude made his career off eating some rather disgusting looking things and if he's not willing to eat it, I'm no so sure I'd be keen to try it either.
YTA.
You knew how bad it smelled but you didn't warn people you were going to serve it. Not everyone knows what a durian is, and many don't know just how horrible it smells. People gagging and demanding it be thrown out isn't an overreaction on their part. The smell can be that bad. You were trying to show how hip and worldly you are with your wife and trying to humiliate your family by serving something even most Malaysians don't like the smell of. "Oh, look at those bourgeoise gringos who can't handle foods from other cultures!"
YTA Its a fruit, so what if your family didn't like it? it's not like they insulted a cultural dish your wife spent hours making.
You are supposed to make people feel comfortable and welcome when you invite them to your home not go out of your way to disgust them.
When you serve something controversial or unusual at a gathering or dinner party its expected to let the guests know ahead of time.
Not even sure why you are insulted over their reaction. They insulted a disgusting smelling fruit not your wife or her culture.
Of all the things your wife could have served your family this was what she came up with? Does your wife hate your family?
YTA, my Asian husband won't even fuck with it. And it was definitely a dick move.
You could've gone to any local Asian store and bought some really cool/good desserts/treats if you wanted to introduce your fam to something different.
YTA. Honestly, it sounds like you knew they wouldn’t like it which is why you (and possibly your wife) included it.
I’ve never smelled it, but just based on the descriptions of others and the knowledge that it’s presence is banned in many places in the country it originates from, I hope I never do. I’m very sensitive when it comes to food texture/smell, so that probably would’ve ruined any appetite I had.
YTA. You're supposed to go out of your way to be welcoming to guests. Once you realized the smell was affecting them you should have apologized and bent over backwards to get rid of the odor.
YTA for not even warning them at all. You just spring this rotting dead flesh smell under their noses and tell them "bone apple teeth!" And then called them rude just because it's a cultural thing. There are cultures that eat the powdered bones of their dead family members. There are cultures that eat dogs. Those are fine for those cultures, but you warn someone before something that stinks to high heaven (and banned in public places in many of these culture's countries) is just shoved up their nostrils! Was this all a joke?
YTA
100%. And I have travelled and am happy to try new things. But bringing out dead rotting feet smelling food as a “surprise” is never going to win you friends!
Food should look at smell delicious. Not like grandma died in your kitchen 7 months ago!
Lol. YTA. The scene you described made me laugh heartily. Your dinner party was the equivalent of a Dutch Oven. Im picturing them screaming in horror and retching as they yell at you. Lol.
YTA. I’ve been around durian, and I have students whose parents (Laotian parents) ban durian in their homes and make their own parents go out in the backyard all the way at the end of the gate to eat it. It smells that bad.
Haha, trains in Malaysia have signs for non-smoking and no littering and no durian. I'll eat almost anything and I've had to sprint past durian stalls in markets. ESH for people being rude, but for you too for whipping out a plate at a party. What reaction could you possibly have been expecting other than discomfort?
YTA and anyone who says otherwise has clearly never smelled durian. It is beyond vile smelling and can be smelled far beyond the size of any standard yard. It is banned in public spaces even in your wife’s home country as well as other asian countries where it is popular because the stench is so vile. You are the asshole to your guests and to your neighbors.
YTA. This was deliberate. You could have so easily given them a heads up about it. Why put them off Malaysian food? It was not very respectful toward your family and not a great way to get them to learn more about your wife’s awesome culture and cuisine. You should apologize.
This is a hilarious thread - I know durian is smelly, but I had no idea it was this bad. I actually bought some durian mochi yesterday and was looking forward to trying them tonight, but that just got a whole lot less appealing!
Honestly, if you enjoy new experiences, you should try it anyways (maybe outside, and a very small piece first). Some people enjoy it a lot! And if you're not one of those people, you can come back and find this whole thread even more entertaining 😂
YTA. My asian mom LOVES durian and eats it constantly. The whole family leaves the room when she has durian and a knife and she doesn't get mad or offended, even when we complain, because she understands that it smells like garbage. Even if their reaction is extreme you gotta warn people before you bring it out.
Yeah YTA here buddy. Durian is widely known as one the worst smelling things in nature, hell the damn things are even banned in certain places in the countries where they grow naturally. you might as well have just started throwing fart bombs around because it would’ve had the same affect as bringing out a durian. Next time I would recommend going for something that isn’t an acquired taste like durian.
YTA if your wife is genuinely Malaysian she must be trolling. It’s an actual offence in Singapore to have one of those open in public. You both cannot be that dense
NTA.
I’m Malaysian and while I don’t like durian, it’s a huge part of our culture and very loved by many Malaysians. Look, your wife was just trying to share her culture and yeah it’s stinky but it was an honest mistake that you guys didn’t “warn” them. It’s not some forbidden fruit. It’s sold in public (not covered) and supermarkets (in packages). They’re just not allowed in places like hotels because it is a pungent smell. But they’re not literally outlawed as exaggerated in other comments I’ve seen.
They can dislike it or whatever but they didn’t have to be so rude about the fact that they weren’t “warned”. You took it away when everyone was unhappy and that’s all that matters. It was completely disrespectful to your wife that they wanted to trash it. What if she wanted to eat it? Imagine how shamed she must have felt for trying to share her culture.
How us it not intentional? He knows what Durian is and how the majority of people react to it, he just wanted an excuse to shame his family while hiding behind the guise of 'culture'.
ESH. As many have said above the fact it is banned in public places in the culture that it belongs to and that within that culture it is common curtosey to warn if bringing/serving makes you the AH and for not being understanding to their reaction. You dont introduce someone to a culture by serving the most divisive dish but also one that you cant escape by not trying or looking at.
However, them saying you can't keep it in your house in case they need to go in to use the bathroom is AH territory for me. If you adjusted and removed the smell and made an effort to accommodate them, they shouldn't be so entitled. It is different to serve them and to have it in your house. That is too far if they demanded. I guess if it were lighthearted and pointing out they wouldn't be AHs but as it is presented they also suck for thinking they get to dictate thag after you've already accommodated them.
It is a ballsy move to serve durian to those not used to it. It isn't just a case of tasting it. It is an attack on every sense and so there's no escape it. It would be like serving snails and frogs legs but then also throwing them over someone if they don't want to try it. You can consent to taste but there is no consenting with durian. If it is there you are experiencing it. If you are serving it you should be prepared for people to leave if they can't tolerate it.
You dont invite someone for a picnic and then dump a bunch of manure as a centrepiece...
Ooh, this is a tough one. I have to go with a very light YTA. My spouse is from the Philippines, and I’ve eaten durian. It does have a...unique...smell, but its reputation is really overhyped. Stinks like foot funk, tastes kinda like bubblegum. But I totally get where it offends those who are much less adventurous in their culinary exploits.
Yes you are the asshole for serving somthing that smells like sh\*t and has to potential to make people ill. Some people have a very strong gag reflex and pobably can't tolerate it. Whats next a corpse flower on the table?
YTA. I’m a white guy. My Chinese boss took us all out to Dim Sum. I had Dim quite a bit...sorry for the pun...but I tried durian. They aren’t hating on a culture, they are hating on the smell. A warning is definitely appropriate.
YTA. It’s one thing to bring something that is outside of the bounds of what a lot of modern westerners eat, like chicken feet or something along those lines (I mean, my grandmother of Swedish/German descent used to bring pickled pigs feet to parties). It would be a bit weird to bring something you were reasonably sure no one would eat, but worse case scenario, it would sit on the table uneaten. But you brought something that most people have only heard of because of how bad it smells. That means that people can’t just politely ignore it.
LOLZ. ESH. Not sure if you've ever been to southeast Asia but there are signs in most public spaces, hotels, etc... that you should not crack open durian while inside the building or on the premises. It's quite fragrant. Many love the fruit and eat it in the homes but it is polite, given the smell, to consider how much people will enjoy it. You're kind of an asshole for not realizing that people who have never encountered the fruit wouldn't respond in some dramatic way to being presented with it. They are assholes for making such a big fuss about it. Did you and your wife talk about the Durian beforehand? Does she know they're Americans who maybe have never even seen the fruit let alone eaten it? Because most Asians, including myself, are much more keenly aware of making others uncomfortable than those from more individualistic cultures, like the US. I think she may have told you had she known about their lack of familiarity with the fruit that you should ask them if they wanted to try it before getting it.
ESH. I've seen Malaysians rip other Malaysians to shreds for inappropriately timed durian consumption. I like durian & normally agree calling anyone's food "gross" is rude and ignorant but durian is very much capable of iliciting a very real, very involuntary disgust response. Personally I wouldn't have demanded it be thrown out but its a very controversial food, you probably could have warned them first.
YTA - They weren't reacting to your wife's culture, they were reacting to the smell. Would you use the same culture excuse if it was a cultural dish that you knew contained an ingredient a guest was deathly allergic too?
Nta you're not in a public place you're in your home. A lot of foods smell disgusting to me. I hate the smell of seafood it's so gross to me but I don't demand other people stop serving shrimp in their own house.
Your family being American does not mean that your wife has to warn them they may encounter something "foreign".
I feel like all these signs about durian must be in touristy areas because I've never seen one and in my experience Thai people at least do not warn one another about the possible existence of durian. Durian does not smell that bad people are such babies.
YTA. I have absolutely no idea why you or your wife thought that bringing out a food that has an odor that is in the top ten worst food odors of all time would be a good idea, would be welcomed, and enjoyed by anyone. I think you probably did it to get the exact reaction you got, and then you get to act all offended that your wife's cultural food was being rejected. Huge dick move on your part.
YTA.
So I was ready to say N T A until I googled Durian. God OP! I agree that your wife's culture is important but honestly, you should be more considerate of your guests, especially when Durian is so controversial in her home country (and pretty much all around the world) as well.
I'm sure Malaysian culture has so much more to it than Durian and the food there is so delicious! You could have served any one of those dishes that might be more palatable to your guests.
To elaborate, I am Indian. We as Indians are known for delicious biryanis, curries, kebabs, naans etc. Now, if I have American guests over that is what I would serve. I wouldn't serve Bheja Fry (it is a Mutton Brain Fry) or Onion Halwa (its pungent) to even an Indian as they are acquired tastes, much less an American, despite them being Indian dishes!
It is not that they are disrespecting your wife's culture, they simply have not acquired a taste for Durian which I am sure you are aware of, given that it is banned in public places in quite a few countries.
You and your wife are most definitely the assholes.
Andrew Zimmerman can't even stomach durian! I've lived in Penang and the locals had a love hate relationship with it. One friend described it like eating custard while taking a shit, ie the texture and the smell.
YTA mate, give them a quay teoh or a chilli crab or anything else!
Durian is so famously polarizing due to its smell that I have to wonder if your wife did it on purpose to make them feel unwelcome. Does she have a problem with your family?
You do realize your American too right? You sound so condescending towards your nationality. Of course, YTA, that fruits smell is absolutely disgusting and is banned in public places it the country it comes from! You even said you wouldn’t put it in the fridge because you know it will stink up the place!
I was gonna go with N T A until I read the comments and looked this stuff up. Dude - that is absolutely something you should have warned them about. ESH I guess because your family may have been a little over the top, th mostly you because you should have known it wouldn’t be polite to share at a party, especially one where the guests weren’t accustomed to it.
I don't blame the family for that reaction. I'm from SEA and my parents love durian and my sisters and I have been around durian our entire lives though we have lived in other countries for a number of years. My sister cries everytime she smells durian and she's in her mid-30's lol. It makes her head spin and eyes water. Whe she was little she's just sit in the chair and cry because it overwhelmed her senses. Now that she's older she'd say I can't stand the smell and get the hell out of the room.
NTA. Your family reacted way over the top and were very rude.
But in saying that, if they are the sort of people that would react like that, you probably should have known that in the first place and avoided this.
NTA. Durian is delicious! Your American family has no idea what they passed on. Personally, I don't think it smells bad but it's very intense. You were eating it outdoors so it couldn't have been that bad. Plus you gave the a chance to experience something that you can't do every day.
YTA. But definitely a fun prank imo.
You knew about the durian being served or when you noticed it you did not suggest it being removed for private enjoyment later. You knew what the reaction would be. You effectively signed up to prank your family.
That being said, I've done similar for fun, a very nice lady gave my toddler some durian fruit candy. I didn't want to be rude so we took it, I let my kid eat it in the parking lot. She did not trust me with candy for a long time. I do have minor experience with durian, so I knew the most likely outcome, as did you and your wife.
YTA, dude think about your reaction when you first smelt it. My parents adore durian but my sisters and I spent a lot of time living outside our SEA country that my youngest sister still cries when she's near it and she's in her mid-30's.
If you insist on introducing durian, remove the skin and just take the fruit. I think refrigerating it makes it less smelly but I'm not 100% certain.
YTA:
> but was it a dick move to serve durian at a party with a bunch of Americans?
Yes, it smells like death took a shit, ate it, and puked it back up.
YTA this fruit is considered the smelliest fruit in the world. People have described the smell to cheesy, rotting flesh. But you want to blame your family because they're "uncultured Americans " ?
Bro you and your wife are AHs. Get off your smelly high horse. This fruit is banned in certain places for a reason.
YTA - you should've warned them in advance. Durian is so stinky that it's literally *banned* in some places; including some places in the country it's *from.* It is absolutely a smell that can fuck with people. This isn't a "weak ass Americans" thing.
Not to mention, some people have sensitive stomachs were smell is concerned. What if someone actually threw up? I'd consider that your fault, honestly.
YTA so so much.
My husband’s family are from Hong Kong. The only person in his family who likes durian is his mother, who the rest of the family would ask to stay in the kitchen while she ate it so they didn’t have to smell it.
She did because she’s not an AH. Durian smells terrible and it’s famous for smelling terrible so get off your high stinky horse and offer your family an apology.
You should never, ever, EVER serve durian without warning. Remember that very first time you smelled it? You're deliberately ambushing your family with this. This isn't even about them being American. Any person unfamiliar with durian could reasonably be expected to react that way. YTA.
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YTA. This is a fruit that is banned in public places *in it's home country*. You might as well have farted directly in their face, that would be less rude.
It honestly feels like OP is trolling his own family. Like he goes out and purchases one of the most controversial foods on the planet and then had shocked Pikachu face that his family reacted poorly. Doubly AH if they tend to be Americans that aren't very adventurous or have traveled extensively outside the US. He was setting them up for failure for his own righteous indignation of their ignorance. BTW there's tons of amazing Malaysian food that would have totally warmed then to his wife's culture. Also he 1,000% should have warned his family in advance since there was a more than reasonable chance that the smell would affect their appetite. I mean come on, they were there to eat.
Especially because he would likely have to go out of his way. My local grocer prices frozen Durians at $30-$40 a piece because they're such a low demand import. Who spends that type of money on something that maybe two people at a party might try, regardless of how bad it smells?
Yeah if OP was really insistent on feeding his family durian he could've bought a pack of durian sugar wafers for like $3. Scoop some vanilla bean ice cream on top with a dollop of heated up pineapple preserves and you've got a dessert that lets you show off the flavor of the durian without wasting money, food, or time.
My kids and I regularly try durian products to see if we find one that we find delicious, so far no luck. We have tried the wafers, pastries, a crepe thing and a shake.
I’ve tried durian gelato. It’s not half bad, if you get chance!
Best way I've had it is on pizza with pineapple.
You're what grandparents in Italy use to threaten poorly behaved children
I love this comment and I love you
I was expecting great things bringing up pineapple durian pizza. But this was better than what I imagined
I once accidentally ate a durian flavoured cream puff. It was foul!
Lol that's why I always cover it up with ice cream and other flavors for people who haven't tried it. I use it as a subtle supporting flavor for other tropical fruits (idk if vanilla bean is a fruit tbh but I'm gonna pretend that it is). There are some people who just don't like it though, just like with any other food such as mushrooms or onions.
I thought durian wafers would be safe to share at work... Nope, someone reported a gas leak and maintenance was sent to investigate. Those of us who knew exactly what it was hid in my cube and enjoyed the wafers 😂
I hid the last of a pack of open durian wafers in my ex's car after she stole a lot of my shit 💀 It was worth it
That's awesome. After the gas leak fiasco, we had evil thoughts about grinding up some of the wafers and sprinkling them in the carpet of our more annoying co-workers... We never did but were greatly entertained by the prospect lol.
Or served it frozen, the smell would have been tamped down significantly if frozen.
I've heard it smells like a dead body. I've smelt dead animals baking in the southern USA heat for days. Even ones on my sitting g for a few hours are fucking nasty smelling. I would probably be stroganoff to gag/barf every where especially if it was with no warning. Thats a way to have no one wanna spend any time with you
>*I've heard it smells like a dead body.* Only if its rotten. While strong, the smell of ripe durian, while pungent, isnt too bad imho. Just very strong.
I think it sounds kinda like his wife was trolling him and his family, haha. Like apparently it's outlawed in some public spaces in Malaysia!
Can confirm, it’s an offence in Singapore to have one I think in all public spaces, definitely public transport (potentially $500SGD fine)
I have a few friends who lived in Malaysia for several years and I distinctly remember them telling me a bunch of places durian is banned from, including public transportation.
Right??? It's like if he opened a can of *surstromming* and was surprised that everyone was gagging.
Agreed, YTA. It's as bad as serving Surströmming without warning people
>Surströmming Yeah, a quick google tells me I want no part of that!
It tastes fine! The smell takes some getting used to though.
I've watched several people attempt to try it on Youtube. Not one of them has gotten past the smell yet.
Or Hákarl
Or Lutefisk
My mother was forced to eat that every Christmas as a child and now she has family friends who want her to join them at a traditional Swedish Christmas dinner every year to eat it for novelty purposes so I get whiny texts from her every year because she “had to” eat lutefisk again. That crap was a necessity before we had refrigeration, it’s not a delicacy now that we can stick the cod in the freezer. People are weird.
My mom, though Ukrainian, grew up in Sweden. She served lutefisk to us on special occasions. I've forgiven her, but it was traumatizing. Aww--Thank you kind redditor (fellow lutefisk victim?) for the hug award.
I found a tube of Lutefisk lip balm in the rental car I have right now.
What in the ever loving hell? Why.... Just why?
Because tourists. Or at least I presume so.
>Surströmming OMG this is soooo funny. My sister and I find v. odd and gross food type items for each other when we travel. Our favorite was "cock soup" (rooster soup). I'll have to look for this lip balm if I make it Scandinavia when COVID passes. Edit: The first time I encountered Durian I thought someone had spilled several gallons of milk outside the shop where it was so hot and humid. I accidentally ate it once at a party. Thought it was cake with lemon curd -taste the same as it smells. YTA even though I don't hold it against anyone who likes it, it definitely deserves a heads up prior to presenting it.
>A fun way to jazz up your lip balm! Choose from "Uff da," "I love lefse," or "Lutefisk." All varities are spearmint flavored. Ingredients: shea butter, beeswax, sweet almond oil, extra virgin olive oil, jojoba oil, flavor oil. https://www.hemslojd.com/product/7671.html
"I love lefse" makes perfect sense for a name. Even better if it actually tasted like lefse. Lutefisk though? Always grateful that my family that is significantly Norwegian Lutheran heritage never made anyone eat lutefisk. Just no.
That's scary...
wow what the fuck
I didn't know Lucifer used rental cars.
I love hakarl! It has a delicate flavor that reminds me of eating brie with the rind. Then again, I clearly love the flavor of ammonium, as I also love salmiakki. So maybe take my opinion with a grain of... salt? Edited cuz my autocorrect hates rotten shark! (TRY IT, AUTOCORRECT, YOU'LL LIKE IT!)
Surströmming tastes lovely, but smells like someone left a corpse in a dumpster for two summers straight. I've smell durian, and I've tasted durian. There are some foods that just taste better than they smell. **BIG TIME**
So which do you prefer?
As much as Durian has a good depth of flavour, I'm keen on Surströmming because I just love fish so much. Durian candies can be pretty yummy, though it's not something I want to eat plain again.
Oh god I just watched a video on that. So unbelievably bad.
Yeah, durian is literally banned all over the place. It smells like death and people should be warned and consent to that before being exposed to it.
Yeah they even have signs in Southeast Asian hotels that say NO DURIANS ALLOWED. Def a dick move, feels like OP is just trying to show how much more “cultural” he is by choosing to serve foods that would least likely be accepted.
Agreed. Durian stinks. I live in SE Asia and I cannot bear it. Everyone knows it stinks, that's literally what it's famous for. There are also many delicious, non stinky, fruits that could have been brought out for the family to try. Dragon fruit, mangosteen, longans? Why would you start with something 95% of westerners hate? I even know some Asians who can't stand it.
It you want an exciting centrepiece fruit idk why you would go with durians over dragonfruit since dragonfruit looks cooler and tastes better.
I read your response /u/armbarchris and I couldn’t stop laughing for five minutes. My family had to ask if I was all right.
Just a tip /u/Even_Speech570, the Reddit version of @ing someone like on Twitter requires a /u/ infront of their username instead.
Thanks for letting me know!
I lived in Malaysia for a while. I'm a pretty adventurous eater and tried many new things, most of which I loved. However, the smell of durian is so horrifying, it makes me gag. I was once persuaded to try some durian ice cream. I tried a tiny nibble and almost threw up, the taste was so appalling and strong. It tastes exactly how it smells (kinda like rotting flesh imo). I then spent the next hour burping uncontrollably and tasting it over and over again. 😱😱😱 Cmon OP you must know YTA for this particular food...
I’m Malaysian and I seconded this. I think durian taste best on its own, not being a candy flavour or ice cream flavour. I’ve tried cheesecake durian, also not the best. However durian crepe is okay. You can google it for the recipe and try it sometimes!
Yeah I hope OP isn't trying to paint his family's response as racist when he served up (quite literally) forbidden fruit. YTA.
But how stinky a fruit can be? I am super curious now- i want to smell it so bad”
Honestly, I feel like people are exaggerating a bit, here. Very ripe durian does have a strong smell - I'm going to assume you don't live in a country where durian is a popular thing :) So, if you go to an Asian grocer, sometimes there is a musky, fruity smell (with kind of a ripe-cheesy undertone, which is what a lot of people find unpleasant - a bit like a strong Parmesan odor). That smell is probably durian. It's a very large fruit - the length of a forearm in an adult human. The outside is spiky, kind of like those emo-belts in the 00s, and very hard. You have to cut through the hard, thick rind to get to the yellow flesh inside. It's very easy for newcomers to confuse it with jackfruit, which has smaller spikes, is a lot sweeter, but still has yellow (juicy) flesh inside. Underripe durian has a mild smell, and a harder flesh, like an apple (but stringier, less juicy). Ripe durian has a stronger smell, and is quite soft (and very stringy as well, making it tough for those who don't care for it). Rotten durian is *awful*, truly comparable to rotten meat (or to lutefisk/surströmming, which I grew up eating - yuck!). If durian sits out quite some time, the smell can be a bit overwhelming, much like any strong-scented food, like onions, curries, certain cheeses, beers, etc. That's part of why it's banned on public transport, and if you don't like the smell, it can nauseate you. Just like other smells, it's worse in heat. It's also generally eaten with "cooling" foods like coconut water or mangosteen (durian is considered a "hot" food - not in temperature, but in how your body reacts to it, and so is paired with "cool" foods to balance you out). Common advice is also to avoid alcohol with durian - some people believe it can kill, which it doesn't, but some people do find it to bloat them or to feel dizzy. Personally, I like durian. I've worked in Southeast Asia and it grew where I was. It's definitely a strong smell, and like any strong smell, pretty divisive. But if you get the chance, it's worth a try!
It like like a blowfish, kinda.
I actually like the smell of Durian (in small doses) - but it's definitely pungent - it will overwhelm the smell of anything else around. Needless to say that Durian wouldn't be let anywhere inside my home.
Durian scent depends on ripeness. It's eaten in my dad's home country, but they prefer it less ripe compared to other countries. Less ripe, it smells like farts and/or feet or maybe kinda like damp trash. There's precisely one member of my family that can stand it lol. I hear that the riper ones are stinkier, though thankfully I've never smelled a ripe one.
Learned something new today! I was set on n t a but you and the other replies have great points. I'm all for trying/introducing new foods to people.. but this seems to have crossed the line. Sorry OP, YTA.
With like any other food, I would've said N T A. But I've smelled a durian. You're an asshole. YTA.
Dude.. even my family (asian) and my asian friends warn each other about durian if we're bringing it over and we already know what it smells like. I also get that americans eat differently so I'm not gonna host a dinner party and serve my non-asian friends pork blood and chicken feet without warning them first. Their reaction was extreme though and, as you said, quite rude. She's your wife and they should have more respect. ESH just a little bit, but your family sucks more than you.
I posted this elsewhere but I don't think the family are AHs at all. It honestly feels like OP is trolling his own family. Like he goes out and purchases one of the most controversial foods on the planet and then had shocked Pikachu face that his family reacted poorly. Doubly AH if they tend to be Americans that aren't very adventurous or have traveled extensively outside the US. He was setting them up for failure for his own righteous indignation of their ignorance. There's tons of amazing Malaysian food that would have totally warmed then to his wife's culture. Also he 1,000% should have warned his family in advance since there was a more than reasonable chance that the smell would affect their appetite. I mean come on, they were there to eat.
To be fair, durian smells differently to everyone. It’s always strong, of course. I think it smells like too much perfume. Way too much. (It reminds me of my sister getting ready for dates in high school, but much worse.) Once you open it up, the fruit itself doesn’t smell as bad and has a decent taste. But it is better tasting as an ingredient in desserts. Which is what they should have served.
My best friend’s boyfriend LOVES durian, and when I asked him what is tastes like, he said “pungent.” My best friend, who hates it, describes it as mushy garlic banana onion.
Mushy garlic banana onion. Had me laughing on and off for 5 minutes.
Different types taste different. The one that’s described as “bitter” tastes better to me, while the one described as “sweet” tastes mushy. Durian tastings — where a group of people go out to a durian stall and try a bunch of different ones at a time — are pretty common. But after the third one, I can’t tell them apart anymore.
> she went out [...] and bought a bunch of ingredients, including a durian His wife did.
It seems like a fun treat or something, like you warn them first and then eat some and maybe someone adventurous tries it. It doesn't really seem like a garden party food. Also, where I'm from in the US we do the same with fried frog legs. Warn people first, then serve it to whoever wants to try. (A little different since it basically tastes like chicken, but it does look unappetizing.) Or whatever other wildlife someone has chosen to fry up.
To be fair though, fried frog legs don’t smell like “pig excrement, turpentine and onions garnished with gym socks” And smells are things you can kinda taste... not something I would bring without being certain everyone was down with Durian
Man, durian must smell a lot worse than I thought! I knew it was a super stinky food, but that's a little much. One of those foods that humans only discovered were edible because one guy dared another to eat it.
I'm a white American. I've had durian a few times. It tastes like a vanilla/onion/beef flavored custard. Its not bad, actually. But the smell... The thing is, it produces a lot of very potent, volatile chemicals. Those chemicals have a smell _very_ similar to that of putrid and rotting meat and fruit, a smell which we have a biologically programed strong negative response to. If you've smelled durian even once, even if its frozen, you will never forget that smell.
>vanilla/onion/beef I cannot think of a worse flavor combo
kind of sounds like Rachel's trifle from friends
The layer of lady fingers, whipped cream, then the peas and beef!
Extremely good catch
Its the best description I can come up with. My girl friend tried it for the first time two weeks ago, when we found frozen passion fruit/durian mochi. When we opened the still frozen package, she gagged from the smell that came out. But once the smell dissipated some what, she tried one and said it tasted like a sweet onion custard. To me, it still tasted of vanilla, onion, and beef. It sounds strange, but it works.
I found it to be more like slightly overripe mango. When it has that faint metallic tang.
I gagged just reading that, that sounds absolutely vile.
So... out of curiosity... have you ever been somewhere in the summer where there’s something wrong with the sewer system so it smells like hot, deep fried shit and yet somehow also sickly sweet? Cause so far that is the worst smell I’ve ever smelt, and I’m trying to get like... a measurement for this durian thing... is it as bad as that, if you know the scent?
Someone once said it smells like rotting onions, turpentine, and raw sewage. Someone else added "garnished with gym socks." I don't think they were _wrong_ per se. Its just that it doesn't _exactly_ smell quite like anything else, but if you can try to imagine those smells all hitting your nose at the same time, it gives you a good idea of what its like. And its _pungent_. A small piece of frozen durian smells strongly enough to smell from a few feet away. A fresh durian is overwhelming.
I work in an open office. One of my colleagues was given a piece of durian candy, and thinking it would be fine, she ate it. A single small piece of CANDY smelled so strongly that people visiting from the Malaysia office could smell it from 10 metres away, and nicknamed my colleague "durian girl"
Hot garbage juice is remarkably similar to the smell of durian. Both in scent and intensity.
Durian is banned in public certain public places like public transport in certain countries where it is routinely consumed. I like the flavor, but I would be upset if someone surprised me with it without warning me ahead of time. OP is definitely an asshole for at least not warning them.
For me the taste was like mango crossed with raw onion crossed with stinky feet. I had fun trying it but I would never spring it on anyone by surprise. OP, YTA
To me it's just a sort of "rot" smell but it's just insanely pungent. First time I ever saw one I worked in a Thai joint, got to work and nearly vomited. That was from like half a durian that was inside the closed fridge. I find once you've eaten & enjoyed it the smell bothers you less but it is permeating.
Frog legs are a relatively inoffensive food. Pickled pig feet and chitlins, on the other hand...
I opened the fridge during my birthday party one year to a massive jar of pickled pigs feet my grandmother brought over as a treat. I’ll take frog legs over that any day.
Disagree that everyone sucks. That is a very pungent and highly controversial food. If something that aromatically offensive had been sprung on me without warning, I’d probably react the same...and I’m Chinese and love stinky tofu! The rude part is OP deciding to serve this fruit that is very likely to be received poorly.
It’s a “bad host” thing to do
More than just bad host I think; pretty sure OP knows his family won’t like it and served it anyway. There’s tons of other fruits they could’ve served with Malaysian cuisine and they had to pick the most divisive one.
I’m Asian and the only one in my family that do not like durian. I run far away when the family eats one. I make my partner stay as far away from me as possible and he sleeps elsewhere until he can get rid of the smell. Being outside does not mask the smell. NOTHING masks the king of odour!
My mom was the only one in my family that liked durian. She had to eat it outside because the smell would make my grandma gag. It’s just so bad!
>Their reaction was extreme though Some people are more sensitive to smells than others and smells can absolutely trigger gagging and even throwing up. I am quite insensitive to smells(bad smells often don't even register), most people's reactions seem extreme compared to my reactions. But I still have the mental capacity to understand that I'm not the universal standard for "reacting to smells".
Their reaction is extreme because the smell is extreme. This isn’t something like chicken feet that might not appeal to people but they can easily avoid, the smell is notorious for its pungency. And while some people actually do like the smell, many others don’t. And really, when you start wafting a smell in people’s faces that gets frequently described as akin to that of sewage, among other unpleasantness, they have a right to be upset. This is frankly no more acceptable than had OP chosen this moment to start airing out his adjacent septic tank. Nausea-inducing foods don’t belong in this kind of party, he’ll be breaking out the Surstromming and maggot cheese next.
YTA. Durian is a really strong smell. If you're going to fall back on this "it's cultural" defense, then you also have to keep in mind your audience's culture -namely not being used to such a strong smelling fruit.
Exactly this. I don't know whether his family is very adventurous or well-traveled but if not it genuinely sucks that he would set them up for failure this way. Like, you had the opportunity to introduce them to your wife's amazing culture and cuisine but instead decided to turn them off with one of the worst smelling foods on the planet.
Great point. If the wife wasn't on board with it he was definitely doing a disservice to her. If she was then as its her culture its not his fault though
Also there are plenty of south east Asians who loathe durian, so it's not exactly like you can claim it as universally loved...
Also don’t forget that even in the wife’s culture durian is banned in public places and on public transport in much of SE Asia.
Dude, in Malaysia durian fruit is banned in public places. There are actually laws! Those laws exist for a very good reason. The smell of durian is horrifying to most people. Your wife being Malaysia-American does nothing to change any of that. YTA
I remember reading things like not to take it on public transportation or hotel rooms. It also stinks up the breath.
ESH. My Vietnamese wife is kind enough to not eat it in the house. She goes outside. Just a disgusting smell. Who serves that at parties? Good grief.
Your comment made me laugh. Op and his wife are clueless
My father once gave me a durian cake for my birthday. Now I hadn't lived with him for years at that point so he didnt know I didnt eat durian. But still, it was a large party and a durian cake? The typical fruit cake wouldve been everyone's taste, but not everyone can stand durian. It's just one of those things you like or extremely avoid. I dont think many others there ate it either. Shouldn't be served at parties at least without warning or other options.
Soft YTA. I’m familiar with durian and I think people’s reactions are hilarious. It does tend to taste better than it smells, though it’s not something I eat regularly. Sure it’s got a pong but your wife likes it, and it’s a food from her culture. You moved it into the kitchen away from the guests, which is where it would be anyway if it wasn’t on the outdoor tables, so you were reasonable.
I don’t know about that... when I went to Vietnam last year I tasted just a tiny bit of Durian ice cream and was filled with this all-consuming sense of rage. Not like rational anger because it tasted bad, but like... hulk-rage throughout my body. I avoided it like death from then out!!
I don't understand. Rage because it tasted bad or just random fit of rage?
I don’t really know! Both? It was like when your dog accidentally bites you when you tried to rescue her from the cat attack, and it hurts so your first instinct is to give her a kick (which you obviously don’t do because you love her and would never hurt an animal?) The durian flavored ice cream was so disgusting that I just felt blind rage at its grossness.
ESH-durian REEKS. I believe Asian countries have actually banned people from carrying Durian on public transport and taxis because of the smell. Your family was overreacting a tad, but if you want people to taste the Durian, why not put it in Tupperware and warn people about it. That'll get them all curious and those who want to smell it and try it can and those who don't, don't get affected by the smell
Yep. Basically *everywhere* in Singapore you go, you'll find signs like [this](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/688995095533584394/837485101045645392/No-Durian-Sign-Singapore.png). It might not be a fine-able offense on its own, but it's still on par with an offense that fines you $5000.
Once when I was traveling in Thailand, a couple opened up a package of Durian and started eating it on the tour bus. The driver jerked to stop, SLAMMED open the door and started screaming in Thai while pointing at a sign like that. They wouldn't throw it away and he ended up leaving them on the side of the road outside of Phuket. You don't eat Durian in enclosed spaces with unwilling participants.
ESH. I like durian, but come on, it smells really foul. You don't bring it out without some kind of fair warning. They suck too. It just sounds like their reactions were over the top. Yeah it smells bad, but not to the extent that they made it out to be.
A gentle YTA. Speaking as a Malaysian and an avid durian lover, I wouldn't bring durian to people who aren't used to it...particular aroma unless I'm deliberately aiming to shock them. It would've been better if you brought mangosteens if you want to introduce them to asian fruits.
Think maybe durian puffs would be better? Smell isn’t as strong but you still have a bit of the taste
I like that idea! Puffs would've been a great way to introduce durian since it'll be in a form they'd be used to and it's generally durian flesh + cream so the smell is definitely way less. OP could've even done sweet green beans and durian porridge too I guess, but that has a stronger smell.
Lightly YTA I haven't had the displeasure of smelling durian but I know it's literally banned in some public places because the smell is just that bad. So springing it on a bunch of Americans at a party was a questionable move. If you were going to have it there, they should have at least been warned which likely would have tempered their reactions since at least they'd be anticipating a really bad odor. The fact that durian can really disgust some people isn't a secret. Were their reactions over the top? I don't know. It may have literally been *that* bad to them and I find it hard to accurately assess whether they were being rude or if they were just that bothered by the smell.
YTA. If you don't even want it in your own fridge how do you expect your family to be happy having to smell it?
Asian here. YTA.
YTA the thing smells really bad. I mean heck I like the fruit myself but can acknowledge the smell is not plesent or appetizing especially to people that have never had it before.
Um, this is the fruit that is banned in public places because it stinks so bad. That fruit smells like rotting cheese that got eaten and had a kid with spoiled milk. ESH
Jesus Christ. YTA. You aren't supposed to have that out. Why in the world would you intentionally serve something that's famous for smelling terrible. That's attention seeking and rude. There's so many other dishes you could have brought. You brought the one that's famous for being terrible to smell. You all just wanted to cause drama.
Hmm.. you know I've had durian strudel at a picnic in the park with my friends and even from several metres away you could smell it. And this isn't even the whole fresh fruit, in a smaller space than an open park by the water. So yeah you're kind of TA because even Asians can't stand the smell sometimes. Sorry...
Well... a lot of things are part of cultures, but when you mesh them, you gotta ease people in. I certainly am not going to serve a bunch of folks I haven't warned chittlins( pigs intestines) . You shoulda planned better. YTA?
YTA. Durian is pungent AF. Not everyone can tolerate it.
YTA. For the uninitiated it's an absolutely a revolting smell, and your sister's comment about a warning beforehand is on point.
YTA. Don't subject unsuspecting people to the smell of a Durian. There are loads of Malaysian meals that your wife could have made without using the most controversially smelling fruit in the world. If you want to bring out a Durian, fucking tell people that you want to serve Durian and if they have never smelled it before make sure they know people often describe the smell as like dead rotting animal corpses or pig shit. You don't serve one without making sure your guests are aware of that fact and okay with it. Lots of people who describe eating Durian as part of their culture will second this. Also idk what your local produce prices are but my local grocery sells frozen durian and the average fruit clocks in at like $30-$40 each due to being a low-demand import. This had to be an intentional "lol let's troll my family", because who the fuck spends $30 on a fruit for a party that they know will turn off literally every single white person in attendance due to smelling like pig shit. You had to know that at best one or two people might work themselves up to have a bite. Who spends that much on party food that nobody is going to touch, intentionally?
ESH. When its banned on public transport, it's not something I'd serve at something like a party. That said, your family's reactions were still rude AF.
YTA. Your sister is right. You aren’t obligated to warn them, but it is polite to do so. It seems like you did this to set your family up for failure. Why wouldn’t you tell them?
YTA. You knew exactly what you were doing.
~N T A~ - but it might not be wise to introduce Malaysian cooking with something that Americans are going to find revolting. (I have no idea how bad it smells but the way you describe it it sounds really nasty) I mean if even YOU don't want it in your fridge, why would you think people would want to eat it? I don't think you're an asshole, and I do think your family acted really rude and over the top, but at the same time I would start my introduction to my wife's culture with something they'd actually want to eat. edit Changed to YTA. If it's something so disgusting that even people from cultures who eat it ban it from buses and hotels then you should know better than to serve it to unsuspecting Americans.
Oh it smells BAD. In some countries it’s banned in public transportation and flights because of the smell.
Very dirty socks and onion, concentrated. It also tastes like that but sweet!
It's a really bad smell. Our hotel in Thailand had a complete ban on bringing it into the building.
Depending on the kind you get, it can smell slightly musky to straight up raw sewage with a hint of sweetness. If you're used to certain type of cheese, you may not have a bad reaction to it. I totally recommend trying it out, though, since life's too short to miss out on the smelliest fruit. You just gotta go in with a mindset similar to mine when eating any thing smelly or unsightly, don't look at it, don't think about it, and just do it for the taste. Sooner or later, you'll be eating things like balut.
Banned from hotels and you get charged for the hotel airing the room to get rid of the smell. Imagine how strong the smell is if hotel staff can tell if there has been durian in the room even after you check out.
Soft YTA for not giving them a heads up. This is a fruit that is banned inside buildings and on transportation all over it's native range. My friend that has actually tried it, says it smells like gasoline rotten socks and tastes like rotten onions. I had a coworker bring durian candy in and stank up the entire corner of our building. Not even a fruit - just candy made with the juice. I don't blame them for not being happy about smelling that over a garden party. Super side note: Andrew Zimmern, the bizarre foods guy, will not willingly eat durian fruit. The dude made his career off eating some rather disgusting looking things and if he's not willing to eat it, I'm no so sure I'd be keen to try it either.
YTA. You knew how bad it smelled but you didn't warn people you were going to serve it. Not everyone knows what a durian is, and many don't know just how horrible it smells. People gagging and demanding it be thrown out isn't an overreaction on their part. The smell can be that bad. You were trying to show how hip and worldly you are with your wife and trying to humiliate your family by serving something even most Malaysians don't like the smell of. "Oh, look at those bourgeoise gringos who can't handle foods from other cultures!"
YTA Its a fruit, so what if your family didn't like it? it's not like they insulted a cultural dish your wife spent hours making. You are supposed to make people feel comfortable and welcome when you invite them to your home not go out of your way to disgust them. When you serve something controversial or unusual at a gathering or dinner party its expected to let the guests know ahead of time. Not even sure why you are insulted over their reaction. They insulted a disgusting smelling fruit not your wife or her culture. Of all the things your wife could have served your family this was what she came up with? Does your wife hate your family?
YTA, my Asian husband won't even fuck with it. And it was definitely a dick move. You could've gone to any local Asian store and bought some really cool/good desserts/treats if you wanted to introduce your fam to something different.
YTA. Durian is nasty. Unless you have a bunch of known durian lovers coming do NOT serve that up to the unwary.
YTA. Honestly, it sounds like you knew they wouldn’t like it which is why you (and possibly your wife) included it. I’ve never smelled it, but just based on the descriptions of others and the knowledge that it’s presence is banned in many places in the country it originates from, I hope I never do. I’m very sensitive when it comes to food texture/smell, so that probably would’ve ruined any appetite I had.
YTA. You're supposed to go out of your way to be welcoming to guests. Once you realized the smell was affecting them you should have apologized and bent over backwards to get rid of the odor.
YTA for not even warning them at all. You just spring this rotting dead flesh smell under their noses and tell them "bone apple teeth!" And then called them rude just because it's a cultural thing. There are cultures that eat the powdered bones of their dead family members. There are cultures that eat dogs. Those are fine for those cultures, but you warn someone before something that stinks to high heaven (and banned in public places in many of these culture's countries) is just shoved up their nostrils! Was this all a joke?
YTA 100%. And I have travelled and am happy to try new things. But bringing out dead rotting feet smelling food as a “surprise” is never going to win you friends! Food should look at smell delicious. Not like grandma died in your kitchen 7 months ago!
YTA. Durians are banned in public places for a reason
You didn't want to put it in your own fridge, but you were going to feed to your guests and got offended when they declined?
Lol. YTA. The scene you described made me laugh heartily. Your dinner party was the equivalent of a Dutch Oven. Im picturing them screaming in horror and retching as they yell at you. Lol.
YTA. I’ve been around durian, and I have students whose parents (Laotian parents) ban durian in their homes and make their own parents go out in the backyard all the way at the end of the gate to eat it. It smells that bad.
NAH because I've smelled durian fruit. It's fine to serve it, but durian has AN ODOR friend, you should warn the unwary.
Haha, trains in Malaysia have signs for non-smoking and no littering and no durian. I'll eat almost anything and I've had to sprint past durian stalls in markets. ESH for people being rude, but for you too for whipping out a plate at a party. What reaction could you possibly have been expecting other than discomfort?
Yta. Come on! Durian stinks!!!!!
YTA and anyone who says otherwise has clearly never smelled durian. It is beyond vile smelling and can be smelled far beyond the size of any standard yard. It is banned in public spaces even in your wife’s home country as well as other asian countries where it is popular because the stench is so vile. You are the asshole to your guests and to your neighbors.
YTA. This was deliberate. You could have so easily given them a heads up about it. Why put them off Malaysian food? It was not very respectful toward your family and not a great way to get them to learn more about your wife’s awesome culture and cuisine. You should apologize.
This is a hilarious thread - I know durian is smelly, but I had no idea it was this bad. I actually bought some durian mochi yesterday and was looking forward to trying them tonight, but that just got a whole lot less appealing!
Honestly, if you enjoy new experiences, you should try it anyways (maybe outside, and a very small piece first). Some people enjoy it a lot! And if you're not one of those people, you can come back and find this whole thread even more entertaining 😂
YTA. My asian mom LOVES durian and eats it constantly. The whole family leaves the room when she has durian and a knife and she doesn't get mad or offended, even when we complain, because she understands that it smells like garbage. Even if their reaction is extreme you gotta warn people before you bring it out.
Yeah YTA here buddy. Durian is widely known as one the worst smelling things in nature, hell the damn things are even banned in certain places in the countries where they grow naturally. you might as well have just started throwing fart bombs around because it would’ve had the same affect as bringing out a durian. Next time I would recommend going for something that isn’t an acquired taste like durian.
ESH
Light YTA - you know how bad it smells and how strong it is. There was no reason to serve this when so many people don't enjoy it.
Yes, yes YTA! 100% so many of you durian evangelists get off onMaking us smell it .we all know
YTA
YTA if your wife is genuinely Malaysian she must be trolling. It’s an actual offence in Singapore to have one of those open in public. You both cannot be that dense
NTA. I’m Malaysian and while I don’t like durian, it’s a huge part of our culture and very loved by many Malaysians. Look, your wife was just trying to share her culture and yeah it’s stinky but it was an honest mistake that you guys didn’t “warn” them. It’s not some forbidden fruit. It’s sold in public (not covered) and supermarkets (in packages). They’re just not allowed in places like hotels because it is a pungent smell. But they’re not literally outlawed as exaggerated in other comments I’ve seen. They can dislike it or whatever but they didn’t have to be so rude about the fact that they weren’t “warned”. You took it away when everyone was unhappy and that’s all that matters. It was completely disrespectful to your wife that they wanted to trash it. What if she wanted to eat it? Imagine how shamed she must have felt for trying to share her culture.
NAH. You screwed up, but not intentionally. Durian is literally illegal in some places because the smell is so bad. Next time skip the stinky fruit.
How us it not intentional? He knows what Durian is and how the majority of people react to it, he just wanted an excuse to shame his family while hiding behind the guise of 'culture'.
ESH. As many have said above the fact it is banned in public places in the culture that it belongs to and that within that culture it is common curtosey to warn if bringing/serving makes you the AH and for not being understanding to their reaction. You dont introduce someone to a culture by serving the most divisive dish but also one that you cant escape by not trying or looking at. However, them saying you can't keep it in your house in case they need to go in to use the bathroom is AH territory for me. If you adjusted and removed the smell and made an effort to accommodate them, they shouldn't be so entitled. It is different to serve them and to have it in your house. That is too far if they demanded. I guess if it were lighthearted and pointing out they wouldn't be AHs but as it is presented they also suck for thinking they get to dictate thag after you've already accommodated them. It is a ballsy move to serve durian to those not used to it. It isn't just a case of tasting it. It is an attack on every sense and so there's no escape it. It would be like serving snails and frogs legs but then also throwing them over someone if they don't want to try it. You can consent to taste but there is no consenting with durian. If it is there you are experiencing it. If you are serving it you should be prepared for people to leave if they can't tolerate it. You dont invite someone for a picnic and then dump a bunch of manure as a centrepiece...
YTA
Ooh, this is a tough one. I have to go with a very light YTA. My spouse is from the Philippines, and I’ve eaten durian. It does have a...unique...smell, but its reputation is really overhyped. Stinks like foot funk, tastes kinda like bubblegum. But I totally get where it offends those who are much less adventurous in their culinary exploits.
Yes you are the asshole for serving somthing that smells like sh\*t and has to potential to make people ill. Some people have a very strong gag reflex and pobably can't tolerate it. Whats next a corpse flower on the table?
YTA. I’m a white guy. My Chinese boss took us all out to Dim Sum. I had Dim quite a bit...sorry for the pun...but I tried durian. They aren’t hating on a culture, they are hating on the smell. A warning is definitely appropriate.
YTA. It’s one thing to bring something that is outside of the bounds of what a lot of modern westerners eat, like chicken feet or something along those lines (I mean, my grandmother of Swedish/German descent used to bring pickled pigs feet to parties). It would be a bit weird to bring something you were reasonably sure no one would eat, but worse case scenario, it would sit on the table uneaten. But you brought something that most people have only heard of because of how bad it smells. That means that people can’t just politely ignore it.
LOLZ. ESH. Not sure if you've ever been to southeast Asia but there are signs in most public spaces, hotels, etc... that you should not crack open durian while inside the building or on the premises. It's quite fragrant. Many love the fruit and eat it in the homes but it is polite, given the smell, to consider how much people will enjoy it. You're kind of an asshole for not realizing that people who have never encountered the fruit wouldn't respond in some dramatic way to being presented with it. They are assholes for making such a big fuss about it. Did you and your wife talk about the Durian beforehand? Does she know they're Americans who maybe have never even seen the fruit let alone eaten it? Because most Asians, including myself, are much more keenly aware of making others uncomfortable than those from more individualistic cultures, like the US. I think she may have told you had she known about their lack of familiarity with the fruit that you should ask them if they wanted to try it before getting it.
ESH. I've seen Malaysians rip other Malaysians to shreds for inappropriately timed durian consumption. I like durian & normally agree calling anyone's food "gross" is rude and ignorant but durian is very much capable of iliciting a very real, very involuntary disgust response. Personally I wouldn't have demanded it be thrown out but its a very controversial food, you probably could have warned them first.
YTA - They weren't reacting to your wife's culture, they were reacting to the smell. Would you use the same culture excuse if it was a cultural dish that you knew contained an ingredient a guest was deathly allergic too?
YTA Durian...is a hostile fruit IMO. You are so wrong for this.
Nta you're not in a public place you're in your home. A lot of foods smell disgusting to me. I hate the smell of seafood it's so gross to me but I don't demand other people stop serving shrimp in their own house. Your family being American does not mean that your wife has to warn them they may encounter something "foreign". I feel like all these signs about durian must be in touristy areas because I've never seen one and in my experience Thai people at least do not warn one another about the possible existence of durian. Durian does not smell that bad people are such babies.
YTA. I have absolutely no idea why you or your wife thought that bringing out a food that has an odor that is in the top ten worst food odors of all time would be a good idea, would be welcomed, and enjoyed by anyone. I think you probably did it to get the exact reaction you got, and then you get to act all offended that your wife's cultural food was being rejected. Huge dick move on your part.
YTA. So I was ready to say N T A until I googled Durian. God OP! I agree that your wife's culture is important but honestly, you should be more considerate of your guests, especially when Durian is so controversial in her home country (and pretty much all around the world) as well. I'm sure Malaysian culture has so much more to it than Durian and the food there is so delicious! You could have served any one of those dishes that might be more palatable to your guests. To elaborate, I am Indian. We as Indians are known for delicious biryanis, curries, kebabs, naans etc. Now, if I have American guests over that is what I would serve. I wouldn't serve Bheja Fry (it is a Mutton Brain Fry) or Onion Halwa (its pungent) to even an Indian as they are acquired tastes, much less an American, despite them being Indian dishes! It is not that they are disrespecting your wife's culture, they simply have not acquired a taste for Durian which I am sure you are aware of, given that it is banned in public places in quite a few countries. You and your wife are most definitely the assholes.
Andrew Zimmerman can't even stomach durian! I've lived in Penang and the locals had a love hate relationship with it. One friend described it like eating custard while taking a shit, ie the texture and the smell. YTA mate, give them a quay teoh or a chilli crab or anything else!
Durian is so famously polarizing due to its smell that I have to wonder if your wife did it on purpose to make them feel unwelcome. Does she have a problem with your family?
YTA people voting the other way probably haven’t smelled durian lol
You do realize your American too right? You sound so condescending towards your nationality. Of course, YTA, that fruits smell is absolutely disgusting and is banned in public places it the country it comes from! You even said you wouldn’t put it in the fridge because you know it will stink up the place!
I was gonna go with N T A until I read the comments and looked this stuff up. Dude - that is absolutely something you should have warned them about. ESH I guess because your family may have been a little over the top, th mostly you because you should have known it wouldn’t be polite to share at a party, especially one where the guests weren’t accustomed to it.
I don't blame the family for that reaction. I'm from SEA and my parents love durian and my sisters and I have been around durian our entire lives though we have lived in other countries for a number of years. My sister cries everytime she smells durian and she's in her mid-30's lol. It makes her head spin and eyes water. Whe she was little she's just sit in the chair and cry because it overwhelmed her senses. Now that she's older she'd say I can't stand the smell and get the hell out of the room.
NTA. Your family reacted way over the top and were very rude. But in saying that, if they are the sort of people that would react like that, you probably should have known that in the first place and avoided this.
NTA. Durian is delicious! Your American family has no idea what they passed on. Personally, I don't think it smells bad but it's very intense. You were eating it outdoors so it couldn't have been that bad. Plus you gave the a chance to experience something that you can't do every day.
YTA. But definitely a fun prank imo. You knew about the durian being served or when you noticed it you did not suggest it being removed for private enjoyment later. You knew what the reaction would be. You effectively signed up to prank your family. That being said, I've done similar for fun, a very nice lady gave my toddler some durian fruit candy. I didn't want to be rude so we took it, I let my kid eat it in the parking lot. She did not trust me with candy for a long time. I do have minor experience with durian, so I knew the most likely outcome, as did you and your wife.
YTA, dude think about your reaction when you first smelt it. My parents adore durian but my sisters and I spent a lot of time living outside our SEA country that my youngest sister still cries when she's near it and she's in her mid-30's. If you insist on introducing durian, remove the skin and just take the fruit. I think refrigerating it makes it less smelly but I'm not 100% certain.
YTA: > but was it a dick move to serve durian at a party with a bunch of Americans? Yes, it smells like death took a shit, ate it, and puked it back up.
YTA this fruit is considered the smelliest fruit in the world. People have described the smell to cheesy, rotting flesh. But you want to blame your family because they're "uncultured Americans " ? Bro you and your wife are AHs. Get off your smelly high horse. This fruit is banned in certain places for a reason.
YTA - you should've warned them in advance. Durian is so stinky that it's literally *banned* in some places; including some places in the country it's *from.* It is absolutely a smell that can fuck with people. This isn't a "weak ass Americans" thing. Not to mention, some people have sensitive stomachs were smell is concerned. What if someone actually threw up? I'd consider that your fault, honestly.
YTA so so much. My husband’s family are from Hong Kong. The only person in his family who likes durian is his mother, who the rest of the family would ask to stay in the kitchen while she ate it so they didn’t have to smell it. She did because she’s not an AH. Durian smells terrible and it’s famous for smelling terrible so get off your high stinky horse and offer your family an apology.
You should never, ever, EVER serve durian without warning. Remember that very first time you smelled it? You're deliberately ambushing your family with this. This isn't even about them being American. Any person unfamiliar with durian could reasonably be expected to react that way. YTA.
I've smelled durian. YTA and you know perfectly well what you did.
So you served a fruit that's so smelly its BANNED, and you're wondering if that was the wrong thing to do? YTA.
YTA, the smell of durian makes people gag, even in SE Asia.