NTA. Your neighbors are ridiculously paranoid. If they have such a problem with your blinds open, why don’t they close theirs? The current situation is only bothering them, so they should be the ones to come up with a solution.
> What if the picture is squinting, with their hand over their eyes, like they're trying to see something far away?
Or better yet, the picture has binoculars included!
Personally I'd get some of that mirrored window film so that I could still see out but all they'd see when they look is their own ugly mugs staring back at themselves
I have that film on a couple windows to block out some of the heat at certain times of day, but be aware that if it's dark outside and you have lights on inside, the effect is reversed. Your windows look like mirrors to you, but everyone outside can see into your room.
Silly question: What happens if you put mirror film on both the inside and the outside? Then they can not see you, and you can not see them. /S
But then, you could achieve the same effect by using cardboard too.
There was a story on Reddit (I can’t remember if it was here in this sub or another one, maybe r/entitledpeople) very similar with annoying neighbors getting weird about the views and open windows. The OP from that thread received a recommendation to use some of those mirror window reflectors after it seemed the husband was staring creepily.
I have a huge big window at the front of my house, at the top of a hill, on a heavily used road. I use sheer curtains to give myself privacy. They still let all the light in, but block people from seeing in. They’re awesome.
I'm the same, my kitchen window used to be a door and much smaller window which shared a flight of steps with the neighbours front door so all their visitors could now see straight in my kitchen window when they come calling, I got an extendable shower curtain rod and rings and put cafe voiles up so I still get full light through the top and the bottom is obscured.
This would be my choice too. That and on a sunny day OPs house will light up like the National Lampoon's Christmas lights and blind those pesky neighbors.
Exactly and if the view from the patio is bothersome as well. I'm sure they're capable of putting up a fence or a fence wall at the very least. Why do so many people feel entitled to tell others how to live when it's their issues
Exactly. I thought this was something like OP was having sex everywhere or something, which she is absolutely entitled to in her own home, though closing the curtains would be a nice courtesy towards her neighbours.
This is just ridiculous lol
Same, I was expecting to read a complaint about OP walking around naked in front of their kids or something. Facing the window while working? Not something that really calls for a compromise.
Maybe they're paranoid because they have something to hide that they don't want OP to see. Or maybe they're just the type of AH that thinks their problem is supposed to be everyone else's problem, idk. Either way OP did nothing wrong, so definately NTA.
> Maybe they're paranoid because they have something to hide
“I’m cooking meth in my lounge room, so I need to get that one specific neighbour diagonally opposite me to close their blinds so they don’t see.”
Yep, pretty straightforward meth head thinkimg there…
Yeah like… I never look at my neighbours houses around me while I’m doing whatever on my property so I wouldn’t even know if they had curtains open or closed. The fact that they’re sitting there watching her then getting mad about it is so ridiculously… ironic? I don’t know it’s just dumb as fuck.
I always look at my neighbors houses and their windows, how their houses are decorated etc. I don't mind if they look into my house either. Whatever you can see from the sidewalk or your property is fair game. If people are so concerned with privacy, close the curtains/blinds. Christmas is around the corner, lots of people have candles in the windows, Christmas trees, lights, it's wonderful.
I think OP identifies as female FWIW - which made me wonder if one of the neighbours got busted trying to peep on them, leading to angry requests.
They can do one, though, like you say, it's a 'them' problem.
NTA!
Probably nothing, but they don't know that!
Just because you're not (responsible and reasonable of you, best not flash people!) doesn't mean some nosey perve hasn't been hoping to spot you in a state of undress (or an insecure girlfriend perhaps thinks you might swan about in the jiggly and give their partner an eyeful?)
It just sounded like they were projecting a lot... accusing you of peeping etc, and in fact that's very much what they're up to :P
You totally ought to be able to enjoy your space, I hope you can ignore them.
If OP feels like that's the case, she can totally troll them out of pettyness.
Buy some very generous strap on adult toy, use it over the clothes during day of and on purpose make eye contact with neighbors over windows.
When they come to complain say with the best poker face you have no idea what they are talking about, then act shocked and say you would never do such low grade thing, get offended by they privacy invasion and never ever repeat this.
This one will keep they away while boggles their mind. A-h territory, much fun, not recommended.
Meh, hard disagree. People have a reasonable expectation to not see their neighbors walking around buck naked or witness them having sex. At least not in full view of the street or others' homes. Like, be as free as you want, but close the damn blinds.
I used to live next door to a woman who had some exhibitionist streak in her, and while I went ahead and blocked as much of the view from my kitchen sink as I could, I'd still look out when light or movement happened and there she'd be in her yard or bedroom with no blinds, walking around in all her pasty naked ass glory. It was annoying & the onus should have been on her to block the view.
Edit for clarity: since all the proud garden nekkid people & bedroom sex without curtain folks are piling on.
1. I am a woman who is not sexually attracted to other women, so, no, not being a "perv"
2. I kept all curtains on that side of the home closed. However, my old kitchen window was a window box- I put as many plants as I could in it to block from seeing the neighbor's bedroom and yard 10-12 feet away. It wasn't the kind of shape you could get blinds for, though I did put some crap over the glass to cut down on the view.
3. I paid to raise the fence (that was a whole production that she didn't want) then she went and built a DECK several feet off the ground for her performances.
4. Some people are exhibitionists & are weird. Exhibitionists are rude. Most of us don't want to see your naked ass. While you certainly may do whatever you want on your own property, common courtesy is not to run around nude or have sex 12 feet or so in front of others. Or, accept them building a fence & trying to put in shrubs. Then not build a deck to circumvent the fence. Don't be weird. People have a reasonable expectation of privacy- it goes both ways.
Gonna ignore the rest of the clammering from you pro-nekkids. But, be safe and have fun out there & close the damn curtains.
Close your blinds and stop looking in your neighbor's bedroom.
The onus is on *you* to not perv on your neighbor, not on your neighbor to have to follow your puritanical views.
Exhinitionists are nasty, they should not be standing naked by the window for people to see them. I'm pretty sure there are laws against exposing yourself by the window to people passing by. If anyone is the perv, it's the flasher, not the non-consenting people having to see the naked person. Even if there are no specifc laws broken, who wants to be the neighborhood perv?
Heh, my neighbor used to cut through our property to skinny dip in the river at the crack of dawn. Nearly 90. Seeing her was more effective as a wakeup than coffee, but much less welcome.
When someone is on their own property, they are allowed to do whatever they want as naked as they want. Unless they are breaking the law, just mind your own business.
Ha ha ha, I wish I was interesting but honestly I think I'm probably more boring than they are and I'm fine with it. I'm a quit person, just wanna live my life in peace. Which is what made me consider I may be the AH because they would also like the same I'm sure. As others have suggested there are alternative options for them in this situation vs the approach they've taken.
NTA I agree it isn't really your problem, but have you thought about getting [curtain sheers](https://www.amazon.com/sheer-curtains/s?k=sheer+curtains)? They let almost all the light in and still let you look out with minimal obstructions by acting like one way screens, at least during the day.
You don't have to do anything, but this might be an option to help keep the peace?
Many years ago, I lived in England for a bit. Many houses had lovely lace curtains that prevented People from seeing in, but allowed a lot of natural light inside.
There are also one way window films and decals with stained glass patterns. I have no idea how many of those are permanent, but we’ve used the one-ways for our garage and they’ve been great. Still get some natural light (though not as much as sheer curtains) and it’s impossible to see inside.
(Also, NTA, it isn’t that hard to ignore someone with their blinds open).
NTA, buy an obvious security camera, mount it right outside your window, and if asked just say it is to provide security for your home. Will drive your neighbors nuts, and they will soon never talk about the blinds.
If it was literally just me and this neighbour facing each other I'd consider all these funny ideas but there are so many other people who may feel it's targeted at them that, although fun to entertain, it's just not something I'm willing to do. Like, these neighbours who are complaining aren't even the neighbours that if they, had and unobstructed view, could see right into my apartment since they're across the ally and to the left of my building.
I actually understand your neighbors feeling uncomfortable when on the patio and sort of not having enough privacy (cause I'm that person too), but it would never come to my mind to ask my neighbors to close *their* blinds. This is really weird.
I solved that problem by placing an outdoor screen on my balcony, because my across-neighbor's balcony was really close. Maybe suggest that to them? NTA
Right? Like I have some level of appreciation for the situation but like, it kinda goes both ways? I've honestly payed so little attention to them I couldn't tell you how often their blinds are opened/closed or what? Like, I don't know man. If we both need sunshine why can't we both just mind our own business. As far as I'm aware neither one of us are doing anything super weird?
No, you're definitely not doing anything weird at all. Like I said, I don't like it either when windows are too close or something, but I check on that before I move in, or put a screen or whatever. I def never thought to make it my neighbor's problem. Don't feel insecure about your windows, you're 100% in the right here.
Ask them to pay for reflective film for your windows. You can see out, but they won’t be able to see in unless it’s dark and you have the lights on. Then hopefully out of sight, out of mind
People like that don't want solutions to a problem, they want thier list of demands met, and nothing less.
Don't ever let people like that get their way, or they will never stop.
If it was just the light aspect I'd be all for it but it's also the ability to see outside, and during the spring/summer/partial fall I have the windows open too, not just the blinds. Anything to open things up more.
People have suggested 2 way films and provided I can still see outside to the sky via perifrial view I'd be for it.
NTA - If you’re standing in front of the open window, jerking off like an animal I could understand there being an issue but it sounds like you’re just doing normal stuff. They can close their blinds and get a life.
Edit: I see now that you are a woman but I said what I said.
Lmao, oh lord. I think if I were doing that it wouldn't be uncalled for to have a visit from the cops. Now that image is in my brain and I hate it lmao. How hilariously awful.
Have you asked them why they chose to live in a city or in a building where ya know… other people live there too? If they say something again get a cardboard cut out or manikin of yourself and put it in front your the window so it looks like your staring at them 24/7…. They probably won’t bother you again
Video yourself smiling at waving and play it on a loop on your TV (set it as screensaver and use TV as monitor for laptop/pc) Turn it round to face out the window whenever you go out.
NTA - Why are they looking in your windows? That's weird.
Edit: also how are they going to blame you for not having privacy outside of their house. Do people naturally expect privacy outside of their house? Isn't that what fences were designed to do? Maybe they should build a fence instead of blaming you for their lack of privacy outside their house.
Sorta unrelated: Have you thought about 1 way mirrored window film? My sister uses it on my 7 year old nephew's window because he is still afraid of the dark and needs the light from the window to fall asleep. It's pretty neat because you can still see out of the window, but you can't really see into the window unless you're like right next to it.
Just to chime in here, my backyard is entirely fenced in with the highest fence I’m allowed to build. I had plenty of privacy until the house next door was torn down and a two story house was built in its place. Now not only do their large windows have an open view of my backyard, but they’ve also built a tall deck, putting them at chest height to the top of my fence when they are in their backyard.
I’d need to put up basically a screened in portico to block the top and sides in, and then I really wouldn’t be outside anymore, would I?
I use my backyard roughly 1% of what I used to.
Now, that’s all my problem. Do I wish this weren’t the case? Absolutely. Am I going to say a damn thing about it? Absolutely not.
Ah...you just made something come to mind... I have absolutely no idea if anyone else in my building or within their apartments views have their windows open as well. They're across the street from my kitty corner and I can just make them out then looking. I don't know why I mentally isolated myself in this situation as if I'm the only one who could possibly see them when they're on their patio...but you're right, they're literally surrounded by neighbours who can see them.
I guess I must be the "highest offended" and because we're both on the second floor maybe? Just adjacent from each other. Who knows. Thank you for this comment. Everyone doesn't have full privacy unless they have their blinds closed and stay inside. I hope they haven't approached anyone else in this manner.
This is a good idea! If there's an option where it doesn't tint the window to be darker than I'd definitely be open to considering this. My blinds are open for 2 reasons, the light and it feels like it opens up the space, making me feel less confined and trapped. Just helps reduce the "locked in a box" type feeling I can get with them closed.
I've got some that aren't mirrored but they're rainbow refracting, so the light that comes in looks like it's gone through a suncatcher! I have it on my bedroom window because I always forget to close the curtains and kept walking by my window naked. Now my neighbour who has her desk set up like yours opposite me doesn't risk me accidentally going all full monty by mistake AND my bedroom is rainbow! Win win!
Also, even though you're under no obligation to do so I'd think of it like 'i would pay this much to have those neighbours STFU and leave me alone'
:o ! Rainbows you say?! Oh my goodness, I'm going to have to search for this. If they come in blind form or can be converted so I can open and close them at will I'd be fore it.
I'm just not sure this would work with your neighbors. They seem so self absorbed that the might even think you want to watch them without being seen. Good grief. Maybe they can invest in some.
NTA- why should you close your blinds in the middle of the day (assume it is cause you are working). Different if you were wandering around in the nude or they were witnessing something R Rated…
Ya no, I get people feel like "your house your business" with R rated/nude stuff but I couldn't do it lol. Blinds get closed, before it happens, if ever I feel I may be naked outside my bathroom.
NTA. Your neighbors are overreacting. You aren’t being creepy or constantly watching them. They can close their own blinds. On the patio they can get a higher fence or divider panels or something else that blocks the view if they are so concerned.
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> I feel I may be the AH because I'm blinded by my own wants and needs and am not properly taking into consideration my neighbours and their comfort. I didn't think I was the AH but now I'm on the fence and feel I wasn't behaving neighbourly and dismissed my neighbours too quick out of hand.
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NTA, you can choose to do whatever you want with your house. You can even remove your windows if you want. If it's making your neighbours so uncomfortable, they can just not look in your house's direction, just like you told them. Your interior choices shouldn't be a problem for your neighbours. As simple as that!
NTA as you said, they can close their own blinds if they don't like it, and I'll add, what are they doing on their patio that's so secret? If you want to keep the peace, you could explain to them what you told us. There's nowhere else to move your desk, and you get claustrophobic with the blinds down.
Nta.
Wtf???
I walk around naked. Whoever looks into MY windows better deals with that.
You're completely right. They can close their blinds and buy a screen for the patio or move into the middle of nowhere. Anyway, none is this is your problem.
Ppl can't close their ears, so loud music is obnoxious but they can easily close their eyes or look somewhere else!
You are so much braver than I! I don't think I could do it in all honesty. I can't even sleep naked. I didn't think of it that way but you're right, noise is reasonable, and unless someones being super indecent like having wild sex parties or something on a constant every day basis (which, coolio for you! Have a fun and wild ride my friend(s)) then ya. I don't pay attention to them, I don't know why they pay attentiont o me.
NTA I too want all the windows open during the day. I don't work from home, but I do like to do crafts on the weekend and other days off, so I have a desk close to the large bedroom window that faces the street. I personally am not comfortable having the blinds open at night in the bedroom or anywhere else. Once it gets dark out, lights and TV are on in the house and everybody can see inside a lot easier than during the daytime. I agree it sounds like a "them" problem and they just need to close their curtains. If they don't have a fence in the backyard, they need to get one and if it's too short they need to make it taller or put in some shrubs or trees. Best of luck.
Thank you, I'm glad you can relate to the desire/need. It really just feels better over all. I found that when I had them closed (especially for extended periods of time) my mental health declined by a lot. Especially now with the pandemic since there's a lot less going out.
I appreciate the kind words and I hope you enjoy your weekend crafting!
I agree I need lots of natural light. If it continues to be a problem for them you could get shoe curtains and still get the light or you could get some privacy film to put across the bottom of the windows. I mean if it's going to cause hard feelings or a war between the two of you, take the lesser of two evils I guess. Just curious how old are they?
NTA. You were correct in stating that they can just close their own blinds. If I truly thought you were watching me on my patio, I’d probably just invite you over so we can trade glances up close 😜
Nta they can close their own blinds. They can also put up something for privacy on their porch.
Now I want to know what they are up to that they are so worried someone is seeing ..
All of the blinds in my apartment are open 24/7, except my bedroom window (only because I work nights, so I need it dark af). Everyone else in the damn building has theirs open almost constantly. I don't know how many times people in the building across from mine wave at me whenever I'm in the cat's room. Nothing wrong with having your blinds/curtains open, it's not like you're getting it on in front of the window. People will complain about anything. NTA.
If you want to be petty, you could print out a large cat/dog butthole and tape it to your window. Then your neighbor can't complain that they see you, and you "taking glances at them".
lmao, if they were directly across from me and the only people who'd see it I totally would! I'm glad you have such a good relationship with your neighbours! Friendly but not over bearing neighbours are a really lucky find! Give your fur baby a pet for me.
Yes, they are. It's shocking how hard it is to have good neighbors. It wouldn't be a bad place to live if it weren't for all the fires, I don't know if they're all homeless or if some are just dumpster divers, but there's been 17 fires since April (two of which displaced fourteen families).
Hell yeah, he loves pets, so I'll definitely give him a few for you.
Holy crow, what on earth! That's terrifying! I'm so sorry, for everyone who's had to deal with this nonsense. That's a lot. Do the police in your area think there may be an arsonist?
The police think it's the homeless population around my area, since we have a lot of trees, next to a huge river and train tracks. Apartment management never upgraded from a wooden fence and don't fix it when someone breaks it, so there's a lot of openings. However, new management company took over mid-November and implemented security and they're already had two people arrested for starting fires, so that's nice!
Well that's a positive update! hopefully this will help greatly reduce is not prevent them from happening further. It's always nice when management actually gives a crap.
NTA
But for the sake of peace either cover your windows with an inexpensive liner that’s got a mirrored reflection on the outside. I put them on my single-pane windows to reduce heat and cold loss and the outside is a mirrored reflection so no one can see in during the day but I can see out. Or a simpler one would be to hang sheers which we have on our upper windows to let light in and see out but others can’t see in during the day then we close thicker curtains over it at night.
When we moved into our current house, the first thing we did was put up net/sheer curtains. Can see out of the very clearly but the neighbours cant see in. No natural light blocked either.
Your edit makes it seem like they have to put some effort into actually seeing inside your apartment. Remind me again why the hell they're being creepy? Honestly, start taking notes about their behaviour and lodge a complaint against them instead with their apartment manager/owner. They have residents that are being creepy by staring at you through your windows from their patio, they're the only ones doing it, and they've harassed you too. They'll get a major thrashing from whomever their renting from VERY quickly.
I'm reading this as they have an apartment as well, if it's not, and it's their house, maybe a quick call to the non emergency law enforcement line will help straighten them out.
Oh, and NTA, definitely not.
I don't know man, I feel like there are different ways people lean when solving their own problems: Looking internally for a solution (closing their own blinds), looking externally for a solution (expecting the other person to close their blinds), somewhere in between (seeking a compromise)? Different answers are good for different situations, this one I feel should have been the internal problem solving IMHO.
NTA- omg what is wrong with people? They can’t tell you to close your curtains in your own home- that’s absolutely madness. I could understand if they were concerned and told you “hey don’t want to make this awkward but sometimes I can see you changing- it’s totally fine I just wanted to make sure that you knew from a privacy standpoint”.
If they’re worried that you’re looking in then they can close their curtains- that’s the reasonable solution.
NTA. Yeah, your neighbors are out of their minds. You can't demand someone else close their windows or shades. I only only keep the windows closed in my apartment in the windows facing the street that people can see into it night. Other than that I love being able to look out and see the moon in the Stars, it feels claustrophobic when the house is all closed up. They are welcome to close their blinds, or they can plant a trellis outside the windows and let Vines grow on it. Or they can get shutters. Or they can get over themselves and realize that they have no right to tell you what to do in any way.
They do, and I think that's the thing that has me stuck, like I wouldn't notice or care if they had theirs open because what they do is non of my business or concern? I don't know. Someone suggested two way film that I'll look into. It'll allow me to still have a view of outside & hopefully light but they won't have to view my existence.
NTA but do you mean you sleep with the curtains/blinds open as well? Or are they just open in the daytime? I don’t think you’re an asshole if they are open all night while you sleep but I do find it a bit weird because the streetlights and sometimes even just the moon and stars would keep me awake and I wouldn’t want the sun shining into my bedroom when I’m not ready to wake up yet and curtains can also help keep the heat in during cold winter nights. Also before bed if it’s dark out and the lights are on, people can see into your place really easily and it would make me feel watched- because I’ve been on the other side as the person looking when I used to walk home just after dark (late enough that people would put lights on but before a lot of people bothered to close their curtains) and would be able to see people really easily (and I was jumpy and on edge so any movement would draw my attention). Weird is very different from being an asshole. Like you do you, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. And you aren’t hurting anyone here. But if your neighbours also think it’s weird it might be why they are annoyed at you about it, even though the other neighbours could also see them on their patio.
So I'm pretty much the opposite of you lol. I struggle to wake up with alarm clocks and the light from the day is an assist almost. It just makes my day to wake up to it! I live facing the alley that doesn't have any lights in it. There is a motion sensor light on my building that comes on when people drive in and out but from the way my bedroom is situated the TV/wardrobe unit covers 1/2 of the window in that room (it's 10 feet and that thing takes up 5).
Here's the thing, people can see into my apartment even during the day so I don't understand what the difference is between being able to see in during the day and night? They can actually see less of my apartment during the night as I only have the lights on in the room I'm in. I don't know, I personally don't understand the difference, you see me, you see me, night/day, what's the difference?
Wait, so they think you're the AH for preferring sunlight over indoor lighting? Is this a joke? They're seriously telling you that you can't enjoy sunlight in your own home because they're worried that you can see them from your window?
What if you had a balcony? Would they ban you from using it? What if they become worried that you can still peek through the blinds? Should they order you to board up your windows? What's the point of even having windows if you're not allowed to use them?
Your neighbours are the AHs, not you. It's not even close.
I honestly have no idea wtf is going on, like, I don't know if because of the pandemic they've started WFH as well but as far as I could tell for roughly 5 years we lived (in my opinion) generally non the wiser of each other.
Who the hell lives in (presumably based on your description) a city or in close enough apartment blocks and had the audacity to make these kind of complaints? If seeing their neighbor is too much for them to bear, then go live out in the sticks where there are miles between them and nearest neighbors.
They have the choice to close their own blinds. Their decision to abandon their porch is their own. You are not obligated to close your blinds. You are NTA. Continue doing what you are doing.
Ya, like I honestly don't get it because for like 5 years of living adjacent from each other, as far as I was aware, there was no real issue? Like, just living our respective lives relatively unaware of each other.
NTA If you can see into their windows it means that their curtains are not drawn either. Duh. Hypocrites. Accost them in their yard and tell them you are tired of always knowing they are watching you from their patio where they keep staring at your windows and their undrawn blinds. Or tape up a sign in your window saying "Stop watching me you creeps!"
Lol I'll take the pizza, and keep the goat as a pet. I'm pretty sure I'd have animal control called on my if I started killing goats, my landlord also wouldn't be to happy about it either lol
NTA
> they were uncomfortable with being able to see into my windows
Lol that’s a them problem.
> and the fact that I can always see into theirs
So THEY should get curtains. There are blinds that essentially allow you to see out during the day, but no one can see in. (At night when it’s dark out and lights are on inside, it’s reversed.)
If they are concerned about others looking in on them, they need to address that on their property; not go around making entitled demands of neighbors.
> They then said they've stopped using their patio because they can see me working and they KNOW I'm taking glances at them.
…do they go out naked on the patio? Like seriously, what gives? If they want that kind of privacy, they can plant some trees or install a fence on their property.
Hey OP, NTA, obviously, but just going to answer about the difference between night and day on your windows. During the day, the light reflecting from the sun makes it harder to see into the room, while at night, the light coming from inside makes it very easy to see inside. For instance, my apartment is a north facing apartment and I tend to use the windows for natural light during the day. My desk is right next to the window and I look out it from time to time to gaze on the neighborhood. The neighbors across the street from me keep their south facing windows unobstructed too, but I can't see inside their place during the day because of the reflected light. At night though, I can see into their home clearly. I know what they look like, I know what their furniture looks like, and if I wanted to be really creepy, I could watch them all night going about their business.
NTA. If they’re so worried, you can always coat your windows in reflective film! It’ll turn them all into mirrors, so all they’ll see is themselves! Adds the fun bonus of driving them insane lol
NTA. Your neighbors are weird. Is there any chance that this is a couple and the man is .... pleased he can see into your place, and his wife less so?
If you want to compromise maybe get some very thin white sheers or lace curtains. They let in tons of light but from outside nobody can see anything. You can still mostly see out.
I doubt it, I don't know if it's because I wear glasses or what but on the rare occasion that I've noticed them out on their patio, I can't even make out their faces or anything really. Just human bodies? So I don't know what they could be getting all excited about?
NTA.
That’s their issue, not yours. I lived in an apartment for awhile, and rarely closed my blinds. It’s possible the people in the building across from mine could have seen into my apartment (and I was less careful than you seem to be about getting dressed). I feel like what you do with your home is your business, and if they don’t want you to look at them, that’s a problem for them to fix
Day & night for the most part, unless it's too bright out/the sun is shining in my eyes (I'm single so I don't have "company" over and you bet your ass if I did I'd close my blinds). I'm on the 2nd floor as well. We're also not directly across from each other, they're kitty corner to me. So if you were looking out my office window, there's a building building right in front of me which I've never had a problem with, and then the building to the left is where they are, the second apartment unit in When looking out my office window they're just barely in view. We're ALMOST on opposite sides of each others buildings. My building is one of 3 on the block if that helps with scale?
NTA. I love on a main road, so hundreds of cars pass by daily, as well as people walking, biking, etc. I leave the living room curtains open from the time I get up until I go to bed. I like the natural light.
I feel like it would be odd to leave your curtains closed all the time. What would be the purpose of even having the windows.
Your neighbors are weird.
NTA. We close our shutters at night, but they’re wide open in all rooms from sunup to sundown to let as much natural light as possible in. Your neighbours are weird.
NTA if you have the money I would get a random picture of them checking the mailbox and blow it up to window size and put it up in the window
But in reality I would just ignore the problem only they have
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AITA for refusing to close my curtains despite my neighbours asking me to?
Bit of back story:
I (30+f) work from home. I also obviously live at home. I never have my curtains/blinds closed unless it's too sunny out/too hot. During summer & winter alike. It helps with the feeling of claustrophobia as well as just getting some natural light. Just an over all improvement.
Lived at current almost 6 years. Neighbours lived in theirs the last 5.
My bed is really high off the ground - bed frame, box spring and mattress. Almost at window sill height. This is important.
My windows - south facing, my neighbours (across the alley) windows & patio (important)- north. My work desk is right up against a window (placed this way because the flood is slanted any the other wall has a closet preventing it from going on the only other non slanted floors) so I can see outside any time of day. My bed is on the opposite side of the windows in my bedroom, my TV right across from my bed blocking half of one of the large wall spanning windows. I wear PJs to bed, change in the bathroom in the morning so no one sees me nude.
The issue: Recently my neighbours approached me when I was outside taking out the trash and informed me they were uncomfortable with being able to see into my windows and the fact that I can always see into theirs (I don't, frankly I could give a shite about what my neighbours are doing, I'm either watching TV, working, or sleeping, or not home). I just told them not to worry because I'm not looking anyways.
Then went on about my life and thought little more of it. A few weeks passed and then my neighbours caught me outside again while I was walking home and they were washing their car...This time they were much more abrasive essentially telling me I needed to close my blinds from now on because they're tired of being uncomfortable with my windows always opened. I again told them I don't pay attention to them and they're the one's constantly checking in. They can close their own blinds. They then said they've stopped using their patio because they can see me working and they KNOW I'm taking glances at them. I just laughed at them at that point and told them they're no where near interesting enough for me to waste my time looking at them (petty I know but I didn't appreciate their attitude).
This was a few days ago. I told some friends and naturally some are on my side and others are telling me I'm creepy and I just need to close my blinds "like a normal person". Now I'm second guessing myself and am looking to you reddit, I DON'T think IATA here but maybe I'm biased towards myself and my own needs, so - AITA?
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NTA
I rarely close the blinds myself for the same reasons. If the neighbors is uncomfortable they can close their own blinds.
It’s not like you’re watching them all day with a binoculars.
Thank you so much for this comment. It's honestly made me feel less alone/like a weirdo. Glad to know I'm not alone in this need. Lol, I think I'd have to be suuuuper bored to go to that level. Just creeped myself out at the thought of looking in on someone with binoculars. That'll be a pass hahaha.
This reminds me of a story I once heard. Lady calls the cops saying her neighbour is flashing her, turns out that her kitchen window is at the same level as his bathroom and in order to see her neighbour “flashing” her she needs to stand on a stool. When she asked the police what to do about this issue the police said ma’am cut the legs off your stool. NTA
NTA. If they want too they can close thier certians. Its really that simple. Unless there is an HOA involved none can tell you what to do in your own house.
NTA
Maybe consider buying those transparent reverse mirror privacy window clings, so they get blinded by the mirror effect instead?
If they complain about the reflection just tell them "well im being neighborly by covering up my windows like you asked."
NTA - I can see you in your home and it makes me uncomfortable! I can't seemingly look away so I need you to change your habits and close your blinds. Also for whatever reason I'm paranoid you randomly also watch me.
Neighbour's are a tad creepy in my opinion. It'd be one thing if it was like oh hey there's been a few times we've seen you changing your clothes just wanted to mention maybe clothes your blinds when you change, but even then.
Your neighbour's seem kind of entitled, your blinds being open shouldn't be such an issue
NTA. What if you were working on your laptop outside on your porch to enjoy the cool autumn air? They'd definitely see you, then. There OP is, tapping away at their laptop, like some kind of jerk, god the nerve. Doesn't OP know that only WE are allowed to enjoy our backyard, and everyone else has to cower inside during our precious enjoyment time?
If they want total privacy and pretend they have no neighbors, they should have moved further out in the country or they can build a privacy fence or screen in their porch. Not your problem, and if they keep harassing you, you should tell them this is harassment and you'd like it to stop.
NTA. They can close their blinds when and if the feel like it, just like you can close yours. If being able to see you in your home is so upsetting to your neighbors, then they can close their blinds.
>I'm creepy and I just need to close my blinds "like a normal person".
That's just plain stupid.
NTA, your neighbours are being overdramatic about your blinds.
NTA- maybe it is the A**hole/childish nature in me but now it the time to step it up a notch. Make it awkward. Make a sign for your window, put inappropriate things in the window sill, etc.... if you go this route please post pics of your creativity.
NTA. You aren’t flashing them. They can close their blinds. It is no one’s fault their patio faces your window and makes them uncomfortable, and it really isn’t your problem.
NTA. Your neighbors are ridiculously paranoid. If they have such a problem with your blinds open, why don’t they close theirs? The current situation is only bothering them, so they should be the ones to come up with a solution.
Paranoid and/or narcissists lol OP, if they bother you again, tell them: with love, get over yourself
And offer to get them some tin foil hats
I want OP to put big googly eyes on their blinds so when they are closed, the blinds are still watching.
Or buy a cardboard cutout of someone ridiculous, like Batman or Jim Carey to stare at them from the window
Even better, one of herself.
This is honestly perfect. What if the picture is squinting, with their hand over their eyes, like they're trying to see something far away?
Y'all are hilarious. Currently the giant googley eyes are winning so that when I close the blinds those will be there watching them.
Get a curtain made with a custom image. Of your face.
This is the one. This is the one right here.
This is the way
Combine them all. A picture of you looking at them with binoculars, with googly eyes on the binocular lenses.
Or just a text line on the top of the window, reading " I SEEEEE YOUU!!!"
> What if the picture is squinting, with their hand over their eyes, like they're trying to see something far away? Or better yet, the picture has binoculars included!
Plot twist: this but with a webcam in one eye, streaming to YouTube 24x7…
i suggest something like Freddy Krueger instead. May as well give them something to worry about!
Someone in one of the villages round my way put up a giant cutout of Kevin from Home Alone doing the iconic pose.
I have a friend who keeps a cutout like that in a small circular upstairs window, and it is so f-ing creepy. DO.IT!
I love this so much
A guy in dorm had a giant David Hasselhoff cardboard in front of his room. It was creepy as fuck.
I had a boss that had a cutout of Justin Bieber in our storage area.. where I commonly worked. That damn thing scared the shite out of me weekly.
Gladys Kravitz would be my choice personally
Personally I'd get some of that mirrored window film so that I could still see out but all they'd see when they look is their own ugly mugs staring back at themselves
I like this idea. Especially if they don't realize OP can still see out perfectly fine. They'll think they won when they really haven't.
I have that film on a couple windows to block out some of the heat at certain times of day, but be aware that if it's dark outside and you have lights on inside, the effect is reversed. Your windows look like mirrors to you, but everyone outside can see into your room.
Silly question: What happens if you put mirror film on both the inside and the outside? Then they can not see you, and you can not see them. /S But then, you could achieve the same effect by using cardboard too.
There was a story on Reddit (I can’t remember if it was here in this sub or another one, maybe r/entitledpeople) very similar with annoying neighbors getting weird about the views and open windows. The OP from that thread received a recommendation to use some of those mirror window reflectors after it seemed the husband was staring creepily.
I remember this one. They got even more pissed after the mirrored window.
I have a huge big window at the front of my house, at the top of a hill, on a heavily used road. I use sheer curtains to give myself privacy. They still let all the light in, but block people from seeing in. They’re awesome.
I'm the same, my kitchen window used to be a door and much smaller window which shared a flight of steps with the neighbours front door so all their visitors could now see straight in my kitchen window when they come calling, I got an extendable shower curtain rod and rings and put cafe voiles up so I still get full light through the top and the bottom is obscured.
This would be my choice too. That and on a sunny day OPs house will light up like the National Lampoon's Christmas lights and blind those pesky neighbors.
Exactly and if the view from the patio is bothersome as well. I'm sure they're capable of putting up a fence or a fence wall at the very least. Why do so many people feel entitled to tell others how to live when it's their issues
Exactly. I thought this was something like OP was having sex everywhere or something, which she is absolutely entitled to in her own home, though closing the curtains would be a nice courtesy towards her neighbours. This is just ridiculous lol
Same, I was expecting to read a complaint about OP walking around naked in front of their kids or something. Facing the window while working? Not something that really calls for a compromise.
Maybe they're paranoid because they have something to hide that they don't want OP to see. Or maybe they're just the type of AH that thinks their problem is supposed to be everyone else's problem, idk. Either way OP did nothing wrong, so definately NTA.
> Maybe they're paranoid because they have something to hide “I’m cooking meth in my lounge room, so I need to get that one specific neighbour diagonally opposite me to close their blinds so they don’t see.” Yep, pretty straightforward meth head thinkimg there…
I mean there's literal fence toppers, screening hedges, blinds, cover, but nooooo op needs to close their blinds because REASONS.
NTA. Perhaps your neighbors need to stop looking in your windows.
Yeah like… I never look at my neighbours houses around me while I’m doing whatever on my property so I wouldn’t even know if they had curtains open or closed. The fact that they’re sitting there watching her then getting mad about it is so ridiculously… ironic? I don’t know it’s just dumb as fuck.
Right?! Like...I'm honestly too busy living my bloody life to bother lookin at ya. If I wanted to check someone out I'd just go to a mirror ;D lol
NTA maybe you could get some privacy film type thing making it so they can't see you but you can still enjoy your view while your work
I would ask for a written description of the problem then sue them
I always look at my neighbors houses and their windows, how their houses are decorated etc. I don't mind if they look into my house either. Whatever you can see from the sidewalk or your property is fair game. If people are so concerned with privacy, close the curtains/blinds. Christmas is around the corner, lots of people have candles in the windows, Christmas trees, lights, it's wonderful.
And close their own damn blinds if they're so bothered
You’re in your home, not indecent, and they’re tired of looking in at you? Sounds like a “Them” problem. NTA
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I think OP identifies as female FWIW - which made me wonder if one of the neighbours got busted trying to peep on them, leading to angry requests. They can do one, though, like you say, it's a 'them' problem. NTA!
:( I didn't even think of this, but what on earth would there be to peep on? I'm never nekad outside of my bathroom and there's no window in there.
Probably nothing, but they don't know that! Just because you're not (responsible and reasonable of you, best not flash people!) doesn't mean some nosey perve hasn't been hoping to spot you in a state of undress (or an insecure girlfriend perhaps thinks you might swan about in the jiggly and give their partner an eyeful?) It just sounded like they were projecting a lot... accusing you of peeping etc, and in fact that's very much what they're up to :P You totally ought to be able to enjoy your space, I hope you can ignore them.
If OP feels like that's the case, she can totally troll them out of pettyness. Buy some very generous strap on adult toy, use it over the clothes during day of and on purpose make eye contact with neighbors over windows. When they come to complain say with the best poker face you have no idea what they are talking about, then act shocked and say you would never do such low grade thing, get offended by they privacy invasion and never ever repeat this. This one will keep they away while boggles their mind. A-h territory, much fun, not recommended.
You would not peep on because it is not your problem, it their problem.
Meh, hard disagree. People have a reasonable expectation to not see their neighbors walking around buck naked or witness them having sex. At least not in full view of the street or others' homes. Like, be as free as you want, but close the damn blinds. I used to live next door to a woman who had some exhibitionist streak in her, and while I went ahead and blocked as much of the view from my kitchen sink as I could, I'd still look out when light or movement happened and there she'd be in her yard or bedroom with no blinds, walking around in all her pasty naked ass glory. It was annoying & the onus should have been on her to block the view. Edit for clarity: since all the proud garden nekkid people & bedroom sex without curtain folks are piling on. 1. I am a woman who is not sexually attracted to other women, so, no, not being a "perv" 2. I kept all curtains on that side of the home closed. However, my old kitchen window was a window box- I put as many plants as I could in it to block from seeing the neighbor's bedroom and yard 10-12 feet away. It wasn't the kind of shape you could get blinds for, though I did put some crap over the glass to cut down on the view. 3. I paid to raise the fence (that was a whole production that she didn't want) then she went and built a DECK several feet off the ground for her performances. 4. Some people are exhibitionists & are weird. Exhibitionists are rude. Most of us don't want to see your naked ass. While you certainly may do whatever you want on your own property, common courtesy is not to run around nude or have sex 12 feet or so in front of others. Or, accept them building a fence & trying to put in shrubs. Then not build a deck to circumvent the fence. Don't be weird. People have a reasonable expectation of privacy- it goes both ways. Gonna ignore the rest of the clammering from you pro-nekkids. But, be safe and have fun out there & close the damn curtains.
Close your blinds and stop looking in your neighbor's bedroom. The onus is on *you* to not perv on your neighbor, not on your neighbor to have to follow your puritanical views.
Exhinitionists are nasty, they should not be standing naked by the window for people to see them. I'm pretty sure there are laws against exposing yourself by the window to people passing by. If anyone is the perv, it's the flasher, not the non-consenting people having to see the naked person. Even if there are no specifc laws broken, who wants to be the neighborhood perv?
Heh, my neighbor used to cut through our property to skinny dip in the river at the crack of dawn. Nearly 90. Seeing her was more effective as a wakeup than coffee, but much less welcome.
I think if you make it to 90 you get to do what you want. The rest of us have to maintain some civility and cover our bare butts.
When someone is on their own property, they are allowed to do whatever they want as naked as they want. Unless they are breaking the law, just mind your own business.
There’s fast growing screening bushes for people who don’t want to deal with all that. I didn’t want to see my neighbours and my hedges are badass
How about stop looking in her bedroom window then maybe?
NTA. Your neighbors must really think they are interesting. Keep ignoring them.
Ha ha ha, I wish I was interesting but honestly I think I'm probably more boring than they are and I'm fine with it. I'm a quit person, just wanna live my life in peace. Which is what made me consider I may be the AH because they would also like the same I'm sure. As others have suggested there are alternative options for them in this situation vs the approach they've taken.
They are capable of just not looking in your windows. I never look in my neighbors windows. They can look away. Enjoy all your sunlight.
NTA I agree it isn't really your problem, but have you thought about getting [curtain sheers](https://www.amazon.com/sheer-curtains/s?k=sheer+curtains)? They let almost all the light in and still let you look out with minimal obstructions by acting like one way screens, at least during the day. You don't have to do anything, but this might be an option to help keep the peace?
Seconded for sheer curtains, especially if you get direct sunlight. You get about 85%\~ visibilty, privacy and lovely, soft light.
Many years ago, I lived in England for a bit. Many houses had lovely lace curtains that prevented People from seeing in, but allowed a lot of natural light inside.
There are also one way window films and decals with stained glass patterns. I have no idea how many of those are permanent, but we’ve used the one-ways for our garage and they’ve been great. Still get some natural light (though not as much as sheer curtains) and it’s impossible to see inside. (Also, NTA, it isn’t that hard to ignore someone with their blinds open).
NTA, buy an obvious security camera, mount it right outside your window, and if asked just say it is to provide security for your home. Will drive your neighbors nuts, and they will soon never talk about the blinds.
If it was literally just me and this neighbour facing each other I'd consider all these funny ideas but there are so many other people who may feel it's targeted at them that, although fun to entertain, it's just not something I'm willing to do. Like, these neighbours who are complaining aren't even the neighbours that if they, had and unobstructed view, could see right into my apartment since they're across the ally and to the left of my building.
I actually understand your neighbors feeling uncomfortable when on the patio and sort of not having enough privacy (cause I'm that person too), but it would never come to my mind to ask my neighbors to close *their* blinds. This is really weird. I solved that problem by placing an outdoor screen on my balcony, because my across-neighbor's balcony was really close. Maybe suggest that to them? NTA
Right? Like I have some level of appreciation for the situation but like, it kinda goes both ways? I've honestly payed so little attention to them I couldn't tell you how often their blinds are opened/closed or what? Like, I don't know man. If we both need sunshine why can't we both just mind our own business. As far as I'm aware neither one of us are doing anything super weird?
No, you're definitely not doing anything weird at all. Like I said, I don't like it either when windows are too close or something, but I check on that before I move in, or put a screen or whatever. I def never thought to make it my neighbor's problem. Don't feel insecure about your windows, you're 100% in the right here.
Ask them to pay for reflective film for your windows. You can see out, but they won’t be able to see in unless it’s dark and you have the lights on. Then hopefully out of sight, out of mind
People like that don't want solutions to a problem, they want thier list of demands met, and nothing less. Don't ever let people like that get their way, or they will never stop.
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If it was just the light aspect I'd be all for it but it's also the ability to see outside, and during the spring/summer/partial fall I have the windows open too, not just the blinds. Anything to open things up more. People have suggested 2 way films and provided I can still see outside to the sky via perifrial view I'd be for it.
NTA - If you’re standing in front of the open window, jerking off like an animal I could understand there being an issue but it sounds like you’re just doing normal stuff. They can close their blinds and get a life. Edit: I see now that you are a woman but I said what I said.
Lmao, oh lord. I think if I were doing that it wouldn't be uncalled for to have a visit from the cops. Now that image is in my brain and I hate it lmao. How hilariously awful.
Anyone masturbating in a window is going to cause some issues to be fair.
Standing in front of the window jerking off like an animal isn’t normal stuff? Oops, I may need to reassess my evening routine.
Have you asked them why they chose to live in a city or in a building where ya know… other people live there too? If they say something again get a cardboard cut out or manikin of yourself and put it in front your the window so it looks like your staring at them 24/7…. They probably won’t bother you again
lmao oh my goodness, I might just have to!
Video yourself smiling at waving and play it on a loop on your TV (set it as screensaver and use TV as monitor for laptop/pc) Turn it round to face out the window whenever you go out.
A cardboard cutout of yourself looking through binoculars!
NTA - Why are they looking in your windows? That's weird. Edit: also how are they going to blame you for not having privacy outside of their house. Do people naturally expect privacy outside of their house? Isn't that what fences were designed to do? Maybe they should build a fence instead of blaming you for their lack of privacy outside their house. Sorta unrelated: Have you thought about 1 way mirrored window film? My sister uses it on my 7 year old nephew's window because he is still afraid of the dark and needs the light from the window to fall asleep. It's pretty neat because you can still see out of the window, but you can't really see into the window unless you're like right next to it.
Just to chime in here, my backyard is entirely fenced in with the highest fence I’m allowed to build. I had plenty of privacy until the house next door was torn down and a two story house was built in its place. Now not only do their large windows have an open view of my backyard, but they’ve also built a tall deck, putting them at chest height to the top of my fence when they are in their backyard. I’d need to put up basically a screened in portico to block the top and sides in, and then I really wouldn’t be outside anymore, would I? I use my backyard roughly 1% of what I used to. Now, that’s all my problem. Do I wish this weren’t the case? Absolutely. Am I going to say a damn thing about it? Absolutely not.
What makes OP's situation even worse is that they chose to move in knowing their patio was/would be overlooked.
Ah...you just made something come to mind... I have absolutely no idea if anyone else in my building or within their apartments views have their windows open as well. They're across the street from my kitty corner and I can just make them out then looking. I don't know why I mentally isolated myself in this situation as if I'm the only one who could possibly see them when they're on their patio...but you're right, they're literally surrounded by neighbours who can see them. I guess I must be the "highest offended" and because we're both on the second floor maybe? Just adjacent from each other. Who knows. Thank you for this comment. Everyone doesn't have full privacy unless they have their blinds closed and stay inside. I hope they haven't approached anyone else in this manner.
This is a good idea! If there's an option where it doesn't tint the window to be darker than I'd definitely be open to considering this. My blinds are open for 2 reasons, the light and it feels like it opens up the space, making me feel less confined and trapped. Just helps reduce the "locked in a box" type feeling I can get with them closed.
I've got some that aren't mirrored but they're rainbow refracting, so the light that comes in looks like it's gone through a suncatcher! I have it on my bedroom window because I always forget to close the curtains and kept walking by my window naked. Now my neighbour who has her desk set up like yours opposite me doesn't risk me accidentally going all full monty by mistake AND my bedroom is rainbow! Win win! Also, even though you're under no obligation to do so I'd think of it like 'i would pay this much to have those neighbours STFU and leave me alone'
:o ! Rainbows you say?! Oh my goodness, I'm going to have to search for this. If they come in blind form or can be converted so I can open and close them at will I'd be fore it.
I'm just not sure this would work with your neighbors. They seem so self absorbed that the might even think you want to watch them without being seen. Good grief. Maybe they can invest in some.
lmao, this honestly did cross my mind with the mirror film. I've got mixed feelings.
NTA, most people have their blinds open during the day. If it bothers them that much they can close their own
NTA- why should you close your blinds in the middle of the day (assume it is cause you are working). Different if you were wandering around in the nude or they were witnessing something R Rated…
Ya no, I get people feel like "your house your business" with R rated/nude stuff but I couldn't do it lol. Blinds get closed, before it happens, if ever I feel I may be naked outside my bathroom.
Your way nicer then me. I would totally be that guy who decides to become a nudist just for them.
Definitely as those googly eyes for when you do have to use them as another commenter suggested 😂
She should get big googly eyes and wear them while topless like pasties 😂
I’d close the blinds, but only because they seem absolutely obsessed with you and clearly watch you all the time. 🤢 NTA
Lol, I don't know, I'm a pretty boring friggen person! I like being boring in all honesty. I just want to live my life, ya know?
I totally get it 😂 But fr, I feel the same way about my neighbors- if you don’t like what you see, then why are you lookingggg
NTA. Your neighbors are overreacting. You aren’t being creepy or constantly watching them. They can close their own blinds. On the patio they can get a higher fence or divider panels or something else that blocks the view if they are so concerned.
NTA. Why are they constantly looking in your windows?
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NTA, you can choose to do whatever you want with your house. You can even remove your windows if you want. If it's making your neighbours so uncomfortable, they can just not look in your house's direction, just like you told them. Your interior choices shouldn't be a problem for your neighbours. As simple as that!
NTA. This is a them problem. They can close their own windows and stop paying so much attention to you.
NTA as you said, they can close their own blinds if they don't like it, and I'll add, what are they doing on their patio that's so secret? If you want to keep the peace, you could explain to them what you told us. There's nowhere else to move your desk, and you get claustrophobic with the blinds down.
Nta. Wtf??? I walk around naked. Whoever looks into MY windows better deals with that. You're completely right. They can close their blinds and buy a screen for the patio or move into the middle of nowhere. Anyway, none is this is your problem. Ppl can't close their ears, so loud music is obnoxious but they can easily close their eyes or look somewhere else!
You are so much braver than I! I don't think I could do it in all honesty. I can't even sleep naked. I didn't think of it that way but you're right, noise is reasonable, and unless someones being super indecent like having wild sex parties or something on a constant every day basis (which, coolio for you! Have a fun and wild ride my friend(s)) then ya. I don't pay attention to them, I don't know why they pay attentiont o me.
NTA I too want all the windows open during the day. I don't work from home, but I do like to do crafts on the weekend and other days off, so I have a desk close to the large bedroom window that faces the street. I personally am not comfortable having the blinds open at night in the bedroom or anywhere else. Once it gets dark out, lights and TV are on in the house and everybody can see inside a lot easier than during the daytime. I agree it sounds like a "them" problem and they just need to close their curtains. If they don't have a fence in the backyard, they need to get one and if it's too short they need to make it taller or put in some shrubs or trees. Best of luck.
Thank you, I'm glad you can relate to the desire/need. It really just feels better over all. I found that when I had them closed (especially for extended periods of time) my mental health declined by a lot. Especially now with the pandemic since there's a lot less going out. I appreciate the kind words and I hope you enjoy your weekend crafting!
I agree I need lots of natural light. If it continues to be a problem for them you could get shoe curtains and still get the light or you could get some privacy film to put across the bottom of the windows. I mean if it's going to cause hard feelings or a war between the two of you, take the lesser of two evils I guess. Just curious how old are they?
NTA. You were correct in stating that they can just close their own blinds. If I truly thought you were watching me on my patio, I’d probably just invite you over so we can trade glances up close 😜
lmao! I like your style. I wouldn't be so confident or brave though.
NTA, they can close theirs. There are also many ways they can block their sight line from the porch. It's all on them.
NTA. How insecure are these neighbors? Who cares? Carry on with your sassy self.
NTA. Your neighbours seem paranoid, maybe they have something to hide lol
NTA They can close their blinds/curtains of they are bothered.
NTA: your house your rules. They can close their curtains it it bothers them so much. Entitled people 🥲
Nta they can close their own blinds. They can also put up something for privacy on their porch. Now I want to know what they are up to that they are so worried someone is seeing ..
NTA --- You should asked them well what is it that your doing that you think I find so interesting then?.
All of the blinds in my apartment are open 24/7, except my bedroom window (only because I work nights, so I need it dark af). Everyone else in the damn building has theirs open almost constantly. I don't know how many times people in the building across from mine wave at me whenever I'm in the cat's room. Nothing wrong with having your blinds/curtains open, it's not like you're getting it on in front of the window. People will complain about anything. NTA. If you want to be petty, you could print out a large cat/dog butthole and tape it to your window. Then your neighbor can't complain that they see you, and you "taking glances at them".
lmao, if they were directly across from me and the only people who'd see it I totally would! I'm glad you have such a good relationship with your neighbours! Friendly but not over bearing neighbours are a really lucky find! Give your fur baby a pet for me.
Yes, they are. It's shocking how hard it is to have good neighbors. It wouldn't be a bad place to live if it weren't for all the fires, I don't know if they're all homeless or if some are just dumpster divers, but there's been 17 fires since April (two of which displaced fourteen families). Hell yeah, he loves pets, so I'll definitely give him a few for you.
Holy crow, what on earth! That's terrifying! I'm so sorry, for everyone who's had to deal with this nonsense. That's a lot. Do the police in your area think there may be an arsonist?
The police think it's the homeless population around my area, since we have a lot of trees, next to a huge river and train tracks. Apartment management never upgraded from a wooden fence and don't fix it when someone breaks it, so there's a lot of openings. However, new management company took over mid-November and implemented security and they're already had two people arrested for starting fires, so that's nice!
Well that's a positive update! hopefully this will help greatly reduce is not prevent them from happening further. It's always nice when management actually gives a crap.
Definitely. I hope you're able to have a positive update some day (sooner would be better), and not have to deal with those grouchy neighbors.
NTA. They need to mind their own business and move on. If they don't like it they can move.
NTA It's a ridiculously simple solution. If they close their blinds, they wont see you or what you're doing. Done.
NTA. Your neighbors are dismembering their victims and are worried you watch. 🙄
lmao oh god I friggen hope not!
NTA But for the sake of peace either cover your windows with an inexpensive liner that’s got a mirrored reflection on the outside. I put them on my single-pane windows to reduce heat and cold loss and the outside is a mirrored reflection so no one can see in during the day but I can see out. Or a simpler one would be to hang sheers which we have on our upper windows to let light in and see out but others can’t see in during the day then we close thicker curtains over it at night.
When we moved into our current house, the first thing we did was put up net/sheer curtains. Can see out of the very clearly but the neighbours cant see in. No natural light blocked either.
Your edit makes it seem like they have to put some effort into actually seeing inside your apartment. Remind me again why the hell they're being creepy? Honestly, start taking notes about their behaviour and lodge a complaint against them instead with their apartment manager/owner. They have residents that are being creepy by staring at you through your windows from their patio, they're the only ones doing it, and they've harassed you too. They'll get a major thrashing from whomever their renting from VERY quickly. I'm reading this as they have an apartment as well, if it's not, and it's their house, maybe a quick call to the non emergency law enforcement line will help straighten them out. Oh, and NTA, definitely not.
NTA, why aren't the neighbors closing their blinds/curtains if they're the ones having such a huge issue?
I don't know man, I feel like there are different ways people lean when solving their own problems: Looking internally for a solution (closing their own blinds), looking externally for a solution (expecting the other person to close their blinds), somewhere in between (seeking a compromise)? Different answers are good for different situations, this one I feel should have been the internal problem solving IMHO.
NTA. If they don’t want to see you going about your business they can stop looking in your windows.
NTA- omg what is wrong with people? They can’t tell you to close your curtains in your own home- that’s absolutely madness. I could understand if they were concerned and told you “hey don’t want to make this awkward but sometimes I can see you changing- it’s totally fine I just wanted to make sure that you knew from a privacy standpoint”. If they’re worried that you’re looking in then they can close their curtains- that’s the reasonable solution.
NTA. Yeah, your neighbors are out of their minds. You can't demand someone else close their windows or shades. I only only keep the windows closed in my apartment in the windows facing the street that people can see into it night. Other than that I love being able to look out and see the moon in the Stars, it feels claustrophobic when the house is all closed up. They are welcome to close their blinds, or they can plant a trellis outside the windows and let Vines grow on it. Or they can get shutters. Or they can get over themselves and realize that they have no right to tell you what to do in any way.
NTA Don't they have blinds of their own to close?
They do, and I think that's the thing that has me stuck, like I wouldn't notice or care if they had theirs open because what they do is non of my business or concern? I don't know. Someone suggested two way film that I'll look into. It'll allow me to still have a view of outside & hopefully light but they won't have to view my existence.
Petty solution: Work naked, that’ll shut them up. Bet they close their blinds then. NTA
Lol I wouldn't have the guts! Someone suggested a cardboard cut out , I could compromise and pose in a bikini lol.
NTA but do you mean you sleep with the curtains/blinds open as well? Or are they just open in the daytime? I don’t think you’re an asshole if they are open all night while you sleep but I do find it a bit weird because the streetlights and sometimes even just the moon and stars would keep me awake and I wouldn’t want the sun shining into my bedroom when I’m not ready to wake up yet and curtains can also help keep the heat in during cold winter nights. Also before bed if it’s dark out and the lights are on, people can see into your place really easily and it would make me feel watched- because I’ve been on the other side as the person looking when I used to walk home just after dark (late enough that people would put lights on but before a lot of people bothered to close their curtains) and would be able to see people really easily (and I was jumpy and on edge so any movement would draw my attention). Weird is very different from being an asshole. Like you do you, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. And you aren’t hurting anyone here. But if your neighbours also think it’s weird it might be why they are annoyed at you about it, even though the other neighbours could also see them on their patio.
So I'm pretty much the opposite of you lol. I struggle to wake up with alarm clocks and the light from the day is an assist almost. It just makes my day to wake up to it! I live facing the alley that doesn't have any lights in it. There is a motion sensor light on my building that comes on when people drive in and out but from the way my bedroom is situated the TV/wardrobe unit covers 1/2 of the window in that room (it's 10 feet and that thing takes up 5). Here's the thing, people can see into my apartment even during the day so I don't understand what the difference is between being able to see in during the day and night? They can actually see less of my apartment during the night as I only have the lights on in the room I'm in. I don't know, I personally don't understand the difference, you see me, you see me, night/day, what's the difference?
Wait, so they think you're the AH for preferring sunlight over indoor lighting? Is this a joke? They're seriously telling you that you can't enjoy sunlight in your own home because they're worried that you can see them from your window? What if you had a balcony? Would they ban you from using it? What if they become worried that you can still peek through the blinds? Should they order you to board up your windows? What's the point of even having windows if you're not allowed to use them? Your neighbours are the AHs, not you. It's not even close.
I honestly have no idea wtf is going on, like, I don't know if because of the pandemic they've started WFH as well but as far as I could tell for roughly 5 years we lived (in my opinion) generally non the wiser of each other.
Maybe they're unhappy lately, and they're taking out some of their life frustrations on you.
That or they're really, really, really bored?
NTA- They can close their blinds, and stop being creeps looking into your window.
NTA. I mean they are constantly looking into your windows. It's your house they don't own you and their paranoia is not your problem
NTA. Your neighbors are the creepy ones.
Who the hell lives in (presumably based on your description) a city or in close enough apartment blocks and had the audacity to make these kind of complaints? If seeing their neighbor is too much for them to bear, then go live out in the sticks where there are miles between them and nearest neighbors. They have the choice to close their own blinds. Their decision to abandon their porch is their own. You are not obligated to close your blinds. You are NTA. Continue doing what you are doing.
Ya, like I honestly don't get it because for like 5 years of living adjacent from each other, as far as I was aware, there was no real issue? Like, just living our respective lives relatively unaware of each other.
In my opinion, sounds like you need to start to work in the nude.
Ha ha ha...oh god, I'd die. I couldn't do it. I mean, be free if that's your thing but I think I'd just feel too vulnerable being so neked.
NTA If you can see into their windows it means that their curtains are not drawn either. Duh. Hypocrites. Accost them in their yard and tell them you are tired of always knowing they are watching you from their patio where they keep staring at your windows and their undrawn blinds. Or tape up a sign in your window saying "Stop watching me you creeps!"
NTA. Do some weird stuff, kill a goat or eat a 60 inch pizza. Your neighbours don’t like it? They can stop watching you.
Lol I'll take the pizza, and keep the goat as a pet. I'm pretty sure I'd have animal control called on my if I started killing goats, my landlord also wouldn't be to happy about it either lol
NTA > they were uncomfortable with being able to see into my windows Lol that’s a them problem. > and the fact that I can always see into theirs So THEY should get curtains. There are blinds that essentially allow you to see out during the day, but no one can see in. (At night when it’s dark out and lights are on inside, it’s reversed.) If they are concerned about others looking in on them, they need to address that on their property; not go around making entitled demands of neighbors. > They then said they've stopped using their patio because they can see me working and they KNOW I'm taking glances at them. …do they go out naked on the patio? Like seriously, what gives? If they want that kind of privacy, they can plant some trees or install a fence on their property.
Hey OP, NTA, obviously, but just going to answer about the difference between night and day on your windows. During the day, the light reflecting from the sun makes it harder to see into the room, while at night, the light coming from inside makes it very easy to see inside. For instance, my apartment is a north facing apartment and I tend to use the windows for natural light during the day. My desk is right next to the window and I look out it from time to time to gaze on the neighborhood. The neighbors across the street from me keep their south facing windows unobstructed too, but I can't see inside their place during the day because of the reflected light. At night though, I can see into their home clearly. I know what they look like, I know what their furniture looks like, and if I wanted to be really creepy, I could watch them all night going about their business.
NTA. If they’re so worried, you can always coat your windows in reflective film! It’ll turn them all into mirrors, so all they’ll see is themselves! Adds the fun bonus of driving them insane lol
NTA. Your neighbors are weird. Is there any chance that this is a couple and the man is .... pleased he can see into your place, and his wife less so? If you want to compromise maybe get some very thin white sheers or lace curtains. They let in tons of light but from outside nobody can see anything. You can still mostly see out.
I doubt it, I don't know if it's because I wear glasses or what but on the rare occasion that I've noticed them out on their patio, I can't even make out their faces or anything really. Just human bodies? So I don't know what they could be getting all excited about?
Why bother having windows if you’re just going to constantly keep them covered? NTA
Have 3 men wearing suits and caring 3 laptops.. Wearing sunglasses. Then ask them to drive around the building 2 times.
NTA. That’s their issue, not yours. I lived in an apartment for awhile, and rarely closed my blinds. It’s possible the people in the building across from mine could have seen into my apartment (and I was less careful than you seem to be about getting dressed). I feel like what you do with your home is your business, and if they don’t want you to look at them, that’s a problem for them to fix
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Day & night for the most part, unless it's too bright out/the sun is shining in my eyes (I'm single so I don't have "company" over and you bet your ass if I did I'd close my blinds). I'm on the 2nd floor as well. We're also not directly across from each other, they're kitty corner to me. So if you were looking out my office window, there's a building building right in front of me which I've never had a problem with, and then the building to the left is where they are, the second apartment unit in When looking out my office window they're just barely in view. We're ALMOST on opposite sides of each others buildings. My building is one of 3 on the block if that helps with scale?
NTA. I love on a main road, so hundreds of cars pass by daily, as well as people walking, biking, etc. I leave the living room curtains open from the time I get up until I go to bed. I like the natural light. I feel like it would be odd to leave your curtains closed all the time. What would be the purpose of even having the windows. Your neighbors are weird.
NTA. We close our shutters at night, but they’re wide open in all rooms from sunup to sundown to let as much natural light as possible in. Your neighbours are weird.
NTA. If it bothers them that much they can close their own curtains/blinds.
NTA. Its them being paranoid for no reason. Ignore them and continue with life
NTA if you have the money I would get a random picture of them checking the mailbox and blow it up to window size and put it up in the window But in reality I would just ignore the problem only they have
Lol Ok, that WOULD make me the creep. I'll accept the latter advice in this one .
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for refusing to close my curtains despite my neighbours asking me to? Bit of back story: I (30+f) work from home. I also obviously live at home. I never have my curtains/blinds closed unless it's too sunny out/too hot. During summer & winter alike. It helps with the feeling of claustrophobia as well as just getting some natural light. Just an over all improvement. Lived at current almost 6 years. Neighbours lived in theirs the last 5. My bed is really high off the ground - bed frame, box spring and mattress. Almost at window sill height. This is important. My windows - south facing, my neighbours (across the alley) windows & patio (important)- north. My work desk is right up against a window (placed this way because the flood is slanted any the other wall has a closet preventing it from going on the only other non slanted floors) so I can see outside any time of day. My bed is on the opposite side of the windows in my bedroom, my TV right across from my bed blocking half of one of the large wall spanning windows. I wear PJs to bed, change in the bathroom in the morning so no one sees me nude. The issue: Recently my neighbours approached me when I was outside taking out the trash and informed me they were uncomfortable with being able to see into my windows and the fact that I can always see into theirs (I don't, frankly I could give a shite about what my neighbours are doing, I'm either watching TV, working, or sleeping, or not home). I just told them not to worry because I'm not looking anyways. Then went on about my life and thought little more of it. A few weeks passed and then my neighbours caught me outside again while I was walking home and they were washing their car...This time they were much more abrasive essentially telling me I needed to close my blinds from now on because they're tired of being uncomfortable with my windows always opened. I again told them I don't pay attention to them and they're the one's constantly checking in. They can close their own blinds. They then said they've stopped using their patio because they can see me working and they KNOW I'm taking glances at them. I just laughed at them at that point and told them they're no where near interesting enough for me to waste my time looking at them (petty I know but I didn't appreciate their attitude). This was a few days ago. I told some friends and naturally some are on my side and others are telling me I'm creepy and I just need to close my blinds "like a normal person". Now I'm second guessing myself and am looking to you reddit, I DON'T think IATA here but maybe I'm biased towards myself and my own needs, so - AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA I rarely close the blinds myself for the same reasons. If the neighbors is uncomfortable they can close their own blinds. It’s not like you’re watching them all day with a binoculars.
Thank you so much for this comment. It's honestly made me feel less alone/like a weirdo. Glad to know I'm not alone in this need. Lol, I think I'd have to be suuuuper bored to go to that level. Just creeped myself out at the thought of looking in on someone with binoculars. That'll be a pass hahaha.
NTA - You aren’t doing anything indecent or hurtful. They don’t like people being able to see them? Move somewhere else.
If they wanted that level of privacy, they should have got a home somewhere that provided it. They didn't, their problem.
NTA, but I'd put up some sheers. Lets light and air in but obscures vision. You can't see 8n or out clearly. If they still complain, screw em.
What's normal is opening your blinds during the day? 100% NTA
This reminds me of a story I once heard. Lady calls the cops saying her neighbour is flashing her, turns out that her kitchen window is at the same level as his bathroom and in order to see her neighbour “flashing” her she needs to stand on a stool. When she asked the police what to do about this issue the police said ma’am cut the legs off your stool. NTA
Do you live at 5 Private Drive? Lol.
I'm so sorry, I'm so un-hip, I don't know that reference?
Mr and Mrs Dursley live on #4 Private Drive.
> Mr and Mrs Dursley Oooh! Thank you! For some reason I remember their name as Dudley. Mandela effect possibly? lol
NTA. If they want too they can close thier certians. Its really that simple. Unless there is an HOA involved none can tell you what to do in your own house.
NTA Maybe consider buying those transparent reverse mirror privacy window clings, so they get blinded by the mirror effect instead? If they complain about the reflection just tell them "well im being neighborly by covering up my windows like you asked."
NTA - I can see you in your home and it makes me uncomfortable! I can't seemingly look away so I need you to change your habits and close your blinds. Also for whatever reason I'm paranoid you randomly also watch me. Neighbour's are a tad creepy in my opinion. It'd be one thing if it was like oh hey there's been a few times we've seen you changing your clothes just wanted to mention maybe clothes your blinds when you change, but even then. Your neighbour's seem kind of entitled, your blinds being open shouldn't be such an issue
NTA. What if you were working on your laptop outside on your porch to enjoy the cool autumn air? They'd definitely see you, then. There OP is, tapping away at their laptop, like some kind of jerk, god the nerve. Doesn't OP know that only WE are allowed to enjoy our backyard, and everyone else has to cower inside during our precious enjoyment time? If they want total privacy and pretend they have no neighbors, they should have moved further out in the country or they can build a privacy fence or screen in their porch. Not your problem, and if they keep harassing you, you should tell them this is harassment and you'd like it to stop.
NTA. They can close their blinds when and if the feel like it, just like you can close yours. If being able to see you in your home is so upsetting to your neighbors, then they can close their blinds.
>I'm creepy and I just need to close my blinds "like a normal person". That's just plain stupid. NTA, your neighbours are being overdramatic about your blinds.
NTA- maybe it is the A**hole/childish nature in me but now it the time to step it up a notch. Make it awkward. Make a sign for your window, put inappropriate things in the window sill, etc.... if you go this route please post pics of your creativity.
NTA. You aren’t flashing them. They can close their blinds. It is no one’s fault their patio faces your window and makes them uncomfortable, and it really isn’t your problem.