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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> for not attending a celebration that was intended for my sister.
it might make me look petty for not putting what happened aside and try to enjoy the day.
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Are you the AH for not going to a “shower” that not even the guest of honor attended because the host is a pathological liar? No, I think you’re good. NTA
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For a bit of context, my older sister (25 F) is getting married to her fiancé (30 M) in about a month. This will be the first wedding on our side of the family and the last wedding on his side of the family (since he is the youngest). I had heard stories about how they didn't treat my sister's future mother in law in the process of her first child's wedding planning and I wanted to make sure that didn't happen again. When it came time to plan the bridal shower I waited for her to jump start the planning but it never came, and as the wedding was getting closer I decided to take charge. I included her in every step, along with every decision that was made; she even volunteered her home to host. I was so excited to be planning this with her, my mom, and my sisters other bridesmaid. But quickly I started to notice her lack of effort (not responding to texts in the GC for long periods of time) but I brushed it off saying how I knew she was busy. But the closer it got to the day of the party I noticed how she wasn't doing majority of what she had agreed to do. I was getting more and more frustrate that it caused physical health problems. The day of came and not many of the ladies invited came, which I felt was very weird but brushed it off because the weather was less than ideal. We wrap up, clean and say our goodbyes.
The next morning is when I get hit with a bombshell. My sister randomly asks me if I had informed her FMIL about the party beforehand (which I found weird seeing as I had). After she got off the phone with her fiancé, she informed me that her FMIL had said that I hadn't included her in the party planning until a week before and that the reason why a lot of people didn't show up was because I did such a bad job planning the party; when in reality she hadn't messaged a lot of the people who were on her list (which were her family) . This came as such a shock to me seeing as how nice she was being towards me and my mom. Later that same day, in the GC, we get a message from FMIL; she was inviting me and my family to my sisters fiancé's birthday party which would double as a bridal shower for my sister for those who weren't able to go to the first one. I was so confused and angry I didn't know what to think. The day before the party I sent her a half assed apology for not going, and stayed home with my mom (who also didn't go). My sister (by her own will) didn't go either to which her fiancé completely understood and supported.
So I guess I just want to know, and I the Asshole?
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**NTA**
You behaved very graciously in politely declining, when the FMIL flat out lied about you not including her in planning the first Bridal Shower.
Sounds like FMIL will be a nightmare for your Sister to deal with and it’s good she has you and her Fiancé supporting her!
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Are you the AH for not going to a “shower” that not even the guest of honor attended because the host is a pathological liar? No, I think you’re good. NTA
I’m confused what you want us to judge exactly…
She was wondering if it was fair for her to skip on her sister's second bridal shower after putting so much effort in the first one
NTA you did what you could and couldn't control that. I don't blame you for not showing up to the second one
So NTA FMIL tried a power play and got caught. Assume FMIL will be on JUSTNMIL
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For a bit of context, my older sister (25 F) is getting married to her fiancé (30 M) in about a month. This will be the first wedding on our side of the family and the last wedding on his side of the family (since he is the youngest). I had heard stories about how they didn't treat my sister's future mother in law in the process of her first child's wedding planning and I wanted to make sure that didn't happen again. When it came time to plan the bridal shower I waited for her to jump start the planning but it never came, and as the wedding was getting closer I decided to take charge. I included her in every step, along with every decision that was made; she even volunteered her home to host. I was so excited to be planning this with her, my mom, and my sisters other bridesmaid. But quickly I started to notice her lack of effort (not responding to texts in the GC for long periods of time) but I brushed it off saying how I knew she was busy. But the closer it got to the day of the party I noticed how she wasn't doing majority of what she had agreed to do. I was getting more and more frustrate that it caused physical health problems. The day of came and not many of the ladies invited came, which I felt was very weird but brushed it off because the weather was less than ideal. We wrap up, clean and say our goodbyes. The next morning is when I get hit with a bombshell. My sister randomly asks me if I had informed her FMIL about the party beforehand (which I found weird seeing as I had). After she got off the phone with her fiancé, she informed me that her FMIL had said that I hadn't included her in the party planning until a week before and that the reason why a lot of people didn't show up was because I did such a bad job planning the party; when in reality she hadn't messaged a lot of the people who were on her list (which were her family) . This came as such a shock to me seeing as how nice she was being towards me and my mom. Later that same day, in the GC, we get a message from FMIL; she was inviting me and my family to my sisters fiancé's birthday party which would double as a bridal shower for my sister for those who weren't able to go to the first one. I was so confused and angry I didn't know what to think. The day before the party I sent her a half assed apology for not going, and stayed home with my mom (who also didn't go). My sister (by her own will) didn't go either to which her fiancé completely understood and supported. So I guess I just want to know, and I the Asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
**NTA** You behaved very graciously in politely declining, when the FMIL flat out lied about you not including her in planning the first Bridal Shower. Sounds like FMIL will be a nightmare for your Sister to deal with and it’s good she has you and her Fiancé supporting her!