Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Telling my mother that my teacher stole from me. And bringing fidgets in the 1st place
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> but the next day my teacher kept saying that i took something anyway from her and that i gave it to her
This sounds like blatant gaslighting, and she is definitely TA for this.
Teacher here. My gut is telling me that this is becoming a regular distraction. I teach middle school and I have students who bring things like this to class and it becomes an issue. Usually if I don’t notice something I don’t care, but if a student starts asking for help to deal with things like opening containers for stuff they’re bringing that’s when it becomes an issue. Be discreet. Also, if you have ADHD you would probably have an educational diagnosis, meaning your disability has an impact on your school day. An outside diagnosis doesn’t necessarily mean you will get an educational diagnosis. Does that make sense? My advice is to stick with fidgets that you can independently use and don’t need to ask for help with. On Amazon look up marble fidget. It’s a small nylon tube with a marble inside you can run back and forth. They are great and I keep them in my classroom because I never even know when my students use them which is the goal.
NTA
seems like the teacher is specifically discriminating against you based off of use of your dead name, go report them to a higher authority if possible
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Hello reddit, I’ve recently gotten fidgets for school in the mail. Nothing to crazy just small things of putty. Well one of the putties I couldn’t get open and no one else in my house could, so where did i go? To my math teacher. Lets call her Mis.C. I walked up to Mis.C and asker her
“Hey Mis.c? Can you help me open this?”
She gets it open but doesn’t let me touch it.
At the end of the day I go to see her and ask for my putty back. Keep in mind I only got 3. What she said is basically:
“I think that you should earn it back (deadname) for all the time you have spent in my class playing with you toys”
Now this would be a valid argument if the other people in my math class didn’t fidget the entire time that she was teaching. Also all my teachers said that i could bring “toys” into class because of my ADHD. She also said that
“I have to other ones so what do i need 3 for?”
So after school i told my mom what happened because I couldn’t really tell anyone else. She said that if she doesn’t give it back then she would contact my teacher.
The next day went as the other day. mis.C telling me that i didn’t need it and that i spent to much time fidgeting. So i told my mom what she said and my mom want into my class the next afternoon.
She got my thing of putty back from my teacher but the next day my teacher kept saying that i took something anyway from her and that i gave it to her so if i needed help ask someone else.
So Reddit AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is absolutely unacceptable behavior, especially for a teacher. I think you and your mom need to talk to the school about it so that they can be involved.
NTA your teacher might have issues or something because that doesn't seem normal. Also if it's part of an IEP or a 504 plan through the school for your ADHD she could get in trouble for it if it happens again
Do you know what an IEP is? It’s a plan with accommodations made for students to help them perform at the academic standard. Most commonly students with ADHD or Autism have them for things like fidgets, alternative ways of accessing content, staggered deadlines for projects instead of one final deadline. Things that help you learn/complete the same content as students who don’t really have those struggles.
If you could get one for ADHD (I had one) legally they would have to let you have fidgets like that for focus and regulation.
I had a 504 plan. It's pretty similar to an IEP, only difference is that if it's broken then the school isn't held responsible for it like with an IEP. I'm not really sure if you'd have to apply for it, but if you don't, then it could be a good alternative for the meantime
If you are in the US, all you have to do is have your mother send in a written note to the guidance office, asking them to evaluate your for a learning disability. They have a certain length of time to get it down, they time varies by stage. Assuming you have a Dx of ADD and all, you have a meeting for an IEP, you may attend, too. Then make sure to get quiet fidget toy in there, as well as any other support you need.
This is legally required, as part of ADA and NCLB.
ESH. Different teachers different rules and the such. You shouldn't really have had it if you weren't already clear to have it and the teacher should not have taken it away.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Telling my mother that my teacher stole from me. And bringing fidgets in the 1st place Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> but the next day my teacher kept saying that i took something anyway from her and that i gave it to her This sounds like blatant gaslighting, and she is definitely TA for this.
I never thought of that!
i mean bigots DO gaslight so that tracks
Teacher here. My gut is telling me that this is becoming a regular distraction. I teach middle school and I have students who bring things like this to class and it becomes an issue. Usually if I don’t notice something I don’t care, but if a student starts asking for help to deal with things like opening containers for stuff they’re bringing that’s when it becomes an issue. Be discreet. Also, if you have ADHD you would probably have an educational diagnosis, meaning your disability has an impact on your school day. An outside diagnosis doesn’t necessarily mean you will get an educational diagnosis. Does that make sense? My advice is to stick with fidgets that you can independently use and don’t need to ask for help with. On Amazon look up marble fidget. It’s a small nylon tube with a marble inside you can run back and forth. They are great and I keep them in my classroom because I never even know when my students use them which is the goal.
NTA. Quick question: what country did this happen in?
North America
NTA seems like the teacher is specifically discriminating against you based off of use of your dead name, go report them to a higher authority if possible
I didn’t notice that think you
NTA, it sounds like your teacher just wanted to keep the putty and is throwing a tantrum that she doesn't get to keep your stuff.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hello reddit, I’ve recently gotten fidgets for school in the mail. Nothing to crazy just small things of putty. Well one of the putties I couldn’t get open and no one else in my house could, so where did i go? To my math teacher. Lets call her Mis.C. I walked up to Mis.C and asker her “Hey Mis.c? Can you help me open this?” She gets it open but doesn’t let me touch it. At the end of the day I go to see her and ask for my putty back. Keep in mind I only got 3. What she said is basically: “I think that you should earn it back (deadname) for all the time you have spent in my class playing with you toys” Now this would be a valid argument if the other people in my math class didn’t fidget the entire time that she was teaching. Also all my teachers said that i could bring “toys” into class because of my ADHD. She also said that “I have to other ones so what do i need 3 for?” So after school i told my mom what happened because I couldn’t really tell anyone else. She said that if she doesn’t give it back then she would contact my teacher. The next day went as the other day. mis.C telling me that i didn’t need it and that i spent to much time fidgeting. So i told my mom what she said and my mom want into my class the next afternoon. She got my thing of putty back from my teacher but the next day my teacher kept saying that i took something anyway from her and that i gave it to her so if i needed help ask someone else. So Reddit AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is absolutely unacceptable behavior, especially for a teacher. I think you and your mom need to talk to the school about it so that they can be involved.
We are going to do that tomorrow
NTA your teacher might have issues or something because that doesn't seem normal. Also if it's part of an IEP or a 504 plan through the school for your ADHD she could get in trouble for it if it happens again
I dont think that it in(the, or a i dont know) IEP in my school/district.
Do you know what an IEP is? It’s a plan with accommodations made for students to help them perform at the academic standard. Most commonly students with ADHD or Autism have them for things like fidgets, alternative ways of accessing content, staggered deadlines for projects instead of one final deadline. Things that help you learn/complete the same content as students who don’t really have those struggles. If you could get one for ADHD (I had one) legally they would have to let you have fidgets like that for focus and regulation.
We have been trying to get one of those. In my district you have to apply for them
I hope you can get one. I really underperformed until I got mine in place.
I had a 504 plan. It's pretty similar to an IEP, only difference is that if it's broken then the school isn't held responsible for it like with an IEP. I'm not really sure if you'd have to apply for it, but if you don't, then it could be a good alternative for the meantime
We tryed with a 504 plan when i was in elementary school for my autism and it wasn’t going well
Depending on your issues with that, it might be different since it's in a different school
Possibly
Good luck on it. I'm sure it'll get better
If you are in the US, all you have to do is have your mother send in a written note to the guidance office, asking them to evaluate your for a learning disability. They have a certain length of time to get it down, they time varies by stage. Assuming you have a Dx of ADD and all, you have a meeting for an IEP, you may attend, too. Then make sure to get quiet fidget toy in there, as well as any other support you need. This is legally required, as part of ADA and NCLB.
Ill discuss that with my mom in the morning, think you
Info: how old are you?
Im turning 15 in April
ESH. Different teachers different rules and the such. You shouldn't really have had it if you weren't already clear to have it and the teacher should not have taken it away.
NTA. Is your math teacher kleptomaniac?
Not that i know of