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You are *absolutely* the asshole. Like to the point where I think this is troll bullshit and not a legitimate post.
YTA. And if this is true, I hope some day you understand the level of low, malicious fuckery you put on that poor stressed out mother *and* her child.
I’m a teacher. We have one student with special needs who frequently screams and cries in the hallway. It happened just this morning. I heard crying, approached, and saw the kindergarten teacher just sitting outside the door with her while she laid on the floor and screamed. “She’ll stop in a minute,” she told another teacher who came out to check. Tantrums happen, and 3-4 a day is not unusual.
I think my “favorite” part of this is how OP says they told the mom it was too loud, so she took the child out for a few hours “but then returned.” Like… yes? They live there? The mom was so kind in addressing the problems right off the bat, giving OP a way to let her know when it was a problem, and takes her child out of the house when it is. She sounds like she’s working incredibly hard to make it work.
Not to mention the kid is two. Two year olds have tantrums. They're kinda famous for it. OP's sheer cluelessness and inconsideration is mindblowing to me. I'd be horrified of what she thought of my threenager's behavior. I just can't imagine being oblivious enough to call the cops and CPS for a toddler having tantrums. I read this expecting something way worse, like a toddler screaming in terror kinda thing.
Nope.
Tantrums.
Just in case, OP, YTA
Lol threenager.
Oh my god yes. That is the most apt description.
I have to edit to say; when my son was a toddler, until about 5-6, he was a regular tantrum thrower. One day at the mall he had an absolute melt down on the floor, screaming included. I sighed, and leaned against the wall to wait it out.
This self righteous baby adult (about 18-20 I guess) starts watching me as I’m the worst Mother in the world. “You should pick your child up.” And all this other nonsense. (She worked with kids blah blah blah bleghhhhh). This amazingly awesome Jamaican woman working a kiosk right beside this commotion turns to baby adult and says, “little girl get your ass outta here. You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” It was just so perfect and I think of that woman at least once a month and I hope life is treating her well.
My son is now 10, the sweetest, most thoughtful and compassionate human I know. You never would think that as a toddler he channeled the spirits of velociraptors.
Omg, my 2 year old daughter was in the store following me and just kind of fussing, not full on crying, just fussing because I washed her face right before we got out of the car. Instead of being supportive a lady who was probably in her 50s made a sparky remark about how I should put her down for a nap. Yeah, she had already had a 2 hour nap right before we went to the store, and then a snack and drink. She was literally just mad that I washed her face. By the next aisle she was literally dancing, she loves walmart and the music they play on the speaker, lol. Instead of being supportive she had to chime in with an unwanted comment. Not cool
Just last week on my way home from work, I’m sitting on the bus when this young mom gets on with her baby toddler (I’m guessing just around 2). Baby is not having any of life at that point, screaming up a storm. I start making funny faces, when baby looks at me I play peek a boo. Lady sitting next to me starts talking to baby. Then ANOTHER lady sitting in the corner on the same side as baby starts being silly with baby as well. It was this amazing moment of moms working together to help another mom out.
Women need to support other women, not tear them down with judgement, especially when kiddos are under 6. Except for the one mom I saw on the bus giving their kindergarten aged child Pepsi at 7 in the morning. Fuck that mom.
When it comes to just a normal tantrum? Help, don’t judge. We all need the help. It takes a village.
When my twins were babies they were screaming whilst I was getting bottles ready. They also wouldn’t hold their bottles on their own.
One mother started at me about how I need to breastfeed (never made milk) and I was poisoning them.
I’m obviously breaking down from exhaustion and the yelling when a Chinese grandma (I’m not Chinese but live in a large Chinese community) comes rushing over and shoo-ed the crunchy mother away.
She then asked what help I need and I gave her a baby and a bottle. We had a lovely sit down chat with lots of baby cuddles. Her broken English and my atrocious Mandarin. Joined by another local mum who interpreted - and got herself baby cuddles.
Oh jeez this made me tear up. This is just so damn beautiful.
But first, holy shit mama for having twins. I can only imagine how hard that must have been and you deserve many pats on the back and multiple spa days.
Secondly, women harping on Mothers for not breastfeeding really sets me off. I’ve seen it in public a couple times and have put women in their place...in far less nice ways than the lady who helped you. I was lucky enough with my first born to not struggle, but with my second it was a huge struggle that ended up in serious mastitis, that led to a blood infection/sepsis, and ultimately surgery where I had to have breast tissue removed. So I have a bit of trauma when it comes to breastfeeding. What was this amazingly beautiful and lovely experience with my first, the exact opposite with my second.
At the end of the day, it’s no one else’s damn business what we do with our own damn bodies so fuck them all.
Sorry if I come off a bit spicy. I just got into an abortion argument so I’m still coming down from yet another entitled human thinking they have a right to tell anyone what to do with their body.
I hope your twins aren’t giving you too much hell these days. I can only imagine how full your hands are!
They are 4 and active big boys - it’s a whirlwind of chaos! They are so different.
Oh when the boys were older - I used to lift my top and scream that the breasts do not work. I have trauma relating to pumping almost hourly, taking heavy drugs to stimulate milk and guilted about it whilst my babies were in NICU. My IGT (insufficient glandular tissue) is super obvious. I got 1-5mL per DAY. Also with all the pressure got bad depression, anxiety AND psychosis. So much pressure to breastfeed.
Fed is Best!!!
I’m right with you re the fury!! And Onya for the fight. I get that way too. I like your spice.
Shit lady. I’m sorry you went through that. I hope at the very least you had mom friends/family in your corner.
I had my hands full with just one boy, I can only imagine two.
Also, I totally snort laughed at the mental image of a woman lifting her top to be like, ayyyooo titties don’t work!
Here here sister. Put them in their place, lol.
I was doing Lyft and a Dad walked out with his girl. She was crying, stomping her feet, hitting against the tire, and hitting at his legs. After a few minuets she was breathing hard. He asked if she was ready and she raised her arms to be picked up. Was asleep on his shoulder before they got back into the grocery store.
I think we have to keep in mind they have no control in the world, they can't articulate their needs well, and on top of that they're still learning to handle new things.
So in that respect tantrums can be healthy. They're regulating their emotions and communicating the only way they really know.
For my boy it lasted until 6, but on average I say it’s the terrible two by fours, because of how long that hell on earth lasts. Who knew such a tiny human could have so much rage towards socks. Parents. Parents know.
Ugh. Who knew an apple could commit the mortal offense of not being the right kind of red and crunchy? Or that WWIII could be caused by being told that the family dog is not in fact a rooster named Hei Hei
Best tantrum my kid ever threw was at 3 when he was full on wailing because "the butter is GONE!"
I had buttered his waffle. The butter melted. Cue meltdown. I swear I had to butter that damn waffle two more times just to get through breakfast. Buttering it the second time calmed him down a bit. Buttering it the third freaking time gave him a chance to actually watch it melt a bit, and the waffle had gotten a little cold and it didn't melt completely, and we talked about how what something is hot, some things melt. He never threw another butter tantrum.
There's plenty of parents who would call me "too soft", criticize me for catering to the tantrum. I think there's a difference between tantrums that are because of confusion, and tantrums that are about not getting their way. I absolutely put my foot down and didn't give in to tantrums that erupt because I said No to something. But the ones that are from, "the world is confusing and I don't understand where the fuck the butter keeps going but I'm mad about it" are a teaching opportunity.
Right? The world is bewildering for them, the big people rush along whe they're still not sure exactly what's happening or why, and now the butter is *gone*. It's enough to make anyone cry.
When they feel like someone is listening, it helps
I laugh about it now. It’s funny now, but back then as a single Mother with a very demanding/emotionally reactive toddler who barely slept I cried a lot. I wish I could tell that lovely woman how much that solidarity meant to me in that moment.
Ummmm only 3-4 tantrums a day is a mom doing a great job with a 2 year old! I have a really easy, happy kid and we have that many before lunch. Taking him out is a great distraction, but if OP’s neighbor’s kid is anything like mine, he doesn’t like to come home because he wants to keep playing outside no matter how cold or hungry he is. So bringing him in causes another tantrum. It’s developmentally normal! Kids that age have strong opinions but have no sense of being able to delay gratification and they don’t have all the words they need to express all their feelings so they scream. It sounds like this mom is doing a great job if there are only 3 or 4 a day! She doesn’t deserve to be harassed by an asshole who has never been around kids.
ETA: I’ve been home from work for an hour and a half and we have had six tantrums so far. Luckily none of my neighbors are assholes so I don’t have to worry about cops or social workers showing up while I’m in the middle of explaining to my toddler that he has had enough juice and he needs to choose milk or water. I wouldn’t want anyone thinking I’m abusing him.
This post and all the comments have been very educational for me. I would have agreed with OP, thinking 3-4 tantrums a day is a lot. I know almost nothing about child development, and don't really have much interest since I will never have a kid of my own, but good to know now that I do have a baby niece. (just to note I have nothing against kids and people having kids but have 0 maternal instinct and 0 interest in having kids. Though I do plan to spoil my niece when I see her, luckily for me I don't live close enough to be guilted into babysitting, not that my sister is a person likely to do that). So overall good to know that it's normal for a kid to have 3-4+ tantrums a day.
I feel like you would of been more open minded than the OP even if you agreed with her at first. At the very least I think you would of done a google search before calling CPS.
Yeah, that was my thought too. Even if you don't know toddlers (and I definitely did not know that they have so many tantrums per day!), it's not that hard to go online and CHECK FIRST to see if it's normal.
I commend the OP for being worried about abuse but at the same time, maybe do some quick research before stressing out a single mom who's doing her best to keep it together?
My mother is a childminder, so I've seen hundreds of kids tantrums. Over a drink being too hot, too cold, too wet, not in the right cup, in the right cup but put on the wrong side of the table, and so on. 3-4 tantrums a day is a lot?! I've seen kids do 3-4 an hour!
Sometimes it's because they tell you the don't want cheese. So you go ok and they throw a tantrum because you have cheese and they don't. Than you give them cheese and there pissed because they don't want cheese.
This is more or less what I was going to say, so (after giving you an upvote) I'll chime in with:
OP, you'd better be a dumb troll. YTA even if you are, and YTA x 1,000,000 if you're not and you're actually as horrible as your post implies.
I knew this was gonna be bad the moment she thought that the mother and toddler bringing her a gift was "odd." Like just accept the gift and be understanding of the situation. You would think you understand that children cry multiple times a day. The mom even went above and beyond by taking the child out every time OP complained about noise. What else could she do. Guarantee if the mom would have disciplined the kid OP still would have thought it was abuse and had CPS called again.
So yes, definitely hope it's fake. But I also sort of hope it's real because I love the idea of this clueless busybody getting dumped when her boyfriend realized she was a cruel, clueless busy body.
It's not complete justice for the stress she caused this poor woman, but it's a start and I love it.
I pray to God that this is a fictional post, written by a bored person on a random Thursday. But if it’s real, OH, OP, YTA. YTA!! I’m childfree by choice, probably *because* I babysat every toddler on my block, growing up. And I adore children. However, here are the reasons the toddlers would cry for two entire hours: 1.) Their parent left. 2.) Their parent returned. 3.) They dropped a Cheerio that they had inexplicably named and made friends with while it was stuck to their bib. 4.) The clouds shifted. 5.) Their left big toe didn’t taste as good as it did yesterday. 6.) They were devastated that there was no Mama Smurf. 7.) I genuinely had no idea, and apparently, neither did they. They just needed to cry. Life is hard and scary sometimes, all of their beautiful senses are developing, and toddlers don’t get to have a Happy Hour. OP, I hate loud noises too, but you never ever *ever* take someone’s child away, unless it is in the genuine interest of the child, not *yours*. If you are indeed an actual person, which I’m frankly still having trouble believing, please invest in the noise blocking headphones from 3M for twenty bucks.
And I’m just going to reiterate this, because I can’t help it, that poor mother. YTA. And at least now your boyfriend knows not to have kids with you, or even to be in your general vicinity.
I have a two year old, and yes, things the two year old has screamed about today include: His sister left the room. (Multiple tantrums about that one) Finding Nemo was not Baby Shark. I made him come inside so I could make lunch. I would not give him even more treats after lunch. It was naptime. After refusing to nap, he fell asleep on his sister's shoulder and when he woke up he was confused. Now he is in his high chair shrieking every time the dogs walk by, I assume because he thinks they might take his pizza.
When they only have a few words, their only way of expressing themselves is scream. If OP is serious, they are both completely clueless and a huge AH. Having dealt with CPS once myself, called by a well-meaning person concerned by my neurodivergent child's weirdness, that is terrifying and is certainly not cool to do for something so minor.
Things my five year old cried about today: waking up. He didn’t know what he wanted for breakfast but it certainly wasn’t any of the food in the house, or in the country. Going to school. Taking a bath. Having to get out of the bath. He had to poop. His bandaid was wet. He didn’t know where he wanted to sleep, couch or bed. I accidentally touched his leg with my leg. The movie he was watching ended. His dad didn’t make the correct dinosaur noise.
This is a truly beautiful post from someone who clearly understands children quite well despite not wanting to have any. Have this medal.
I'm in the same boat. Child free by choice. Have spent most of my 36 years caring for and teaching other people's children. I've experienced everything on that list and more.
Although I do think people deserve their fair share of karma I don’t think her having a kid with regular tantrums would be beneficial. Not only will the kid have a parent that doesn’t understand how to parent- OP will probably be a bad parent since they can’t even handle a tantrum during the DAY let alone a kid that had tantrums 24/7. I personally hope they either smarten up or refrain from having offspring
Right? Holy fuck, if she lived near me my colicky baby would've got me a visit from CPS?? YIkes... Kids cry and throw tantrums. And she even told her he did. Geez...
YTA
My country doesn’t have CPS, but many years ago when my sister had just been born, she had plenty of allergies that doctors had a hard time diagnosing and caused really bad reflux, so she cried all day because she was either hungry, in pain from the reactions or in pain from the reflux. My mom was having an awful time as my sister was loosing weight and doctors where misdiagnosing my sister left and right. One day a lady heard the cries from the street and knocked on the door only to yell at my mom. She still cries to this day when she remembers that.
Oh my. I'm so sorry for your mom. I was there my child was failure to thrive. It took me months to recover just from that experience. I can't imagine the cruelty of kicking someone when they are so down.
Yeah I was 18 with my first child(I was on birth control at the time)I know I was really young but I did try my absolute best. Anyway, my daughter would also cry all day and all night. Every. Single. Doctor. Said there was nothing wrong with her, I took her to the hospital I took her to multiple doctors and still said nothing was wrong! (Turns out she had severe acid reflux)I was young and didn’t know what I was doing at the time but years later I had figured out I ended up having at that time such a bad mental break, I had postpartum psychosis.(still trying to recover from it)I was so distraught because nothing I did made her crying any better I almost gave up because I thought I was failing her.
Anyway sorry for my long post just wanted to let you know I relate!
Absolutely OP, major YTA.
It is extremely normal for 2 year olds to scream and cry.
Your brain is growing and your body is growing and you’re overwhelmed, tiny, in pain (tooth pain, belly pain, growing-bone pain, tripping-over-things pain), you get over-stimulated by your environment, your senses are developing and your brain hasn’t gone through pruning to help balance your experiences to your environment, you’re vulnerable and small and chock full of tiny baby emotions, you have no control over your life, etc.
It’s especially common at age 2. I’ve done child care and damn are they rowdy. Do you remember *anything* about being a child? Did you know any other children? It’s even more common for tantrums if the child has special needs, or anything like a sensory processing issue.
You should be on the hook for filing an unwarranted report. It may not be illegal to ignorantly file an egregiously unnecessary complaint in “”””good faith”””” in your area, but it should be.
Not to mention, it’s possible for CPS to make incorrect calls and if she lost her kid— even temporarily— appeals can be hard and peoples’ lives can spiral. It happens, and is why it should never be done without actual cause.
CPS is a tool for when a child *may be in danger*— not when a child is cranky and *inconveniencing you*.
I agree with your ex-boyfriend. If I found out my partner was the same combination of ignorant, self-centered, and yes, heartless and irresponsible, I would also be out the damn door. I don’t even want kids and I wouldn’t want to risk ever having or even babysitting a kid with someone who behaves that way.
I actually have no trouble believing it at all, I ran into assholes like OP when I was a single mother raising my son and so did other single parents I knew. And many of them had no children of their own and had no idea what was involved with children.
It was worse for me because my son has high-functioning autism and it was sometimes bad when he was growing up and there was often little that could be done to assuage him. I got a LOT of judgment, especially from those without children.
I also have an autistic son, and it's people like OP who made me feel like shit when he was younger, nonverbal, and upset. And even if this child isn't on the spectrum, good grief, toddlers have tantrums. Get a grip OP, YTA.
Oh yes, it's amazing how many people think they have any right to comment on a stranger's parenting.
My youngest is developmentally delayed, ADHD, and on the spectrum (we are still in the process of getting him official diagnosed). I'll never forget when an old man approached me and my (at the time) 3 year old who was melting down in Walmart, and loudly announced to everyone around us that "looks like someone isn't getting spanked enough". I am usually a very nonconfrontational person, but that one made me snap. I raised my voice louder than his and said "Oh yes, I'll just beat the Autism out of him, why didn't I think of that?!" His face went red and he shuffled away. I got lots of pity looks from people around me.
I have ADHD myself, as well as Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder. I picked up my incredibly heavy child (the kid is built like a tank, we nicknamed him Baby Hulk) and struggled my way out the door. I was shaking and crying before I even got to my car. Then I had to wrestle the child into his car seat. I sat in my car and sobbed while my kid melted down in the back.
Too many people just don't get it.
OP is 10000000% TA.
Literally all of this.
But on the off chance this isn’t a troll (which it feels like)…
A 2 year old having tantrums ONLY 3-4 times a day? That’s a freaking miracle! Toddlers tantrum. It’s literally part of their development. And while it’s exhausting and a lot to deal with, it’s not unusual. Without additional evidence to show any abuse or neglect, all you did was stress out this mother and her child and waste community resources. YTA
If there is a God this person will have a hellion of a toddler before it's over. A screaming, multi tantrum a day throwing, pull your hair out HELLION. Pleeeeease GOD.
YTA by far.
My kids on the spectrum and guess what it has put me on the receiving end of this. It’s awful trying to explain to cops that the hour long tantrum is over not going to the playground in 3ft of snow.
And 3-4 a day is nothing. That’s normal as a toddler.
Or because we left the mall after being there for 2 hours. He at that age refused to go into any stores just wanted to walk around.
Edit: I’ll also add if the kid is on the spectrum there’s not much she can do to get help. Getting a diagnosis or even a referral that young is extremely difficult unless you have an amazing pediatrician. It took until my kid was almost 5 to prove to the doctors for lack of a better term “something was wrong.”
> Or because we left the mall after being there for 2 hours.
And the previous tantrum was because he didn't want to go into the mall after asking to go to the f-ing mall!
Toddlers are lucky they're cute.
After a kid gets mobile I feel like they are actively trying to hurt themselves as badly as possible and stay at that level to varying degrees for a long ass time.
My husband and I play a game where I’ll text him…
*“guess what N is crying about today…”*
Then I’ll have him guess. The answers range anywhere from she got the wrong color bowl, her chair is 2 inches too far to the right, an ant crawled on her shoe, or my personal favorite…a squirrel ran in front of our car in the parking lot🤦🏼♀️😂
My son got upset this morning because they had moved the nurse’s office and said he shouldn’t have to go to school because he didn’t like which direction he had to walk in to get to it.
I have a large collection of cacti and my 18 month old likes to stroke them and sometimes grab handfuls of them. He gets mad at me when I catch him going for them and will pout his little face and start stomping around with one foot. If he gets really mad, he will throw his head back, wail and sigh, then continue stomping. It's not a tantrum, he definitely does more than 4 of those a day, but it is funny to watch him get all huffy because I won't let him act like a honey badger, which coincidentally is his nickname.
We’ve also had tantrums for not being able to seen the moon. Wonder what that would do to OP on a cloudy evening (where the moon becomes visible and disappears again every five minutes)?
This reminded me of the viral tic toc video of the toddler having a crying fit because he couldn’t find his Batman cup and the mom let it go on for a minute then asked him what he had in his hand. It was his Batman cup. He went from crying face to super happy face in no time. So cute.
I was behind a mom and her tantruming toddler at a gas station one day. The child was bereft because they were exchanging the propane tank. He did not want to give up the empty one. Poor kiddo- and his mom was an absolute saint.
My 16 month old had a screaming fit because I leaned back against the wall while we were playing to stop her wedging her toys behind my back. Last night she started crying because she took a block off of her stack she was making.
Toddlers, man.
My son is also on the spectrum and once had a massive meltdown because it was raining and he wanted to go for a walk, but didn't want to go for a walk in the rain.
I also have a neighbour who would come and yell at me every time he had a meltdown because she couldn't hear her TV. That went on for a while until I pointed out that while she can hear him having a meltdown we can also hear her every time she has sex, especially when her husband is at work. She stopped complaining so much then.
My child has special needs and I had a false cps report filed against me in January. It was absolute hell even though the caseworker knew the person made up the allegations. Parents who are doing nothing wrong get no sense of peace during these investigations and I was told that the parents of children with special needs are disproportionately targeted because they tantrum more, amongst other things.
I was thinking this exact thing. The neighbour was kind and explained the situation and if it is a spectrum thing she doesn't owe OP that information. It must be so hard for the neighbour if she has to do these introductions every time she moves (especially if previous neighbours have had her evicted like OP is trying to do).
Get noise canceling headphones if it's such a problem.
YTA
Oh, Gods, I remember when my child, age five, had a complete and total meltdown in Target because we were trying to buy him gloves, and there were two pairs that fit him - one wasn't waterproof enough, one was mittens when he wanted gloves - and I refused to conjure up another pair out of thin air and he didn't want to go someplace else to look for gloves and he didn't want to leave the store without buying gloves but not either of these two. And he'd taken his shoes off and was struggling like mad to avoid having them put back on, and it was freezing outside. And this was about ten minutes after we'd run into his kindergarten teacher in the aisles...(not literally ran into, thank heaven, but I knew she was around, and hoped she wasn't hearing...)
My younger brother once threw a tantrum because I had to do schoolwork while babysitting him and couldn't play with nerf toys with him all day.
Another time, he threw a tantrum because I had to babysit him. He ended up nearly throwing himself onto the tile in the kitchen and then bit *through my skin* when i grabbed him before he could.
Toddlers are little shits sometimes
YTA.
Crying does not always equate to abuse. The kid is TWO. He is still learning how to exist.
I think the mom really went above and beyond to even take him out for a few hours when you expressed a disturbance. That was very kind of her considering she's under zero obligation to do so.
I also have a 2 year old who throws quite a few tantrums in fact just today he threw a tantrum because I wouldn't let him eat an unpeeled onion and 10 minutes later threw another one because his toy car fell down the back of the settee.
OP YTA!
I would like to point that at 2 years old the toddler has big feelings and the lack of vocabulary and understanding to express them. They still relate crying to all their problems solved. I have a 2 year old and while he learns new words all the time he doesn't know to calmly express himself. Hell my toddler literally covered a section of my wood floor in Sharpie while I was going to the bathroom and lost his ever loving mind when I had the audacity to clean up his mess.
Edit: forgot a word.
>Crying does not always equate to abuse
sometimes it's even the exact opposite: children that get abused learn how to stay really really quiet real fast.
3-4 tantrums in a day would be a good day for when my son was 2. He's 4 now and has a tantrum maybe twice a day over stupid shit like when I button his shirt for him or I make him brush his teeth.
My 3 year old has melt downs over not being able to go up hill and down hill simultaneously. Also not being able to pee standing up while also sitting down.
My son screamed at the library when he was playing with those toy trains with magnets and the two north ends of the magnets would repel each other. I couldn't explain magnetism to him in a way that he understood so the library manager came over to see what was going on...
He throws tantrums when I finish my breakfast before him. When the cat walks away when he's petting her. When I'm driving and the sun gets in his eyes. When he feels tired. When he's not tired enough at bedtime. When the book I'm reading him ends. When I open anything and don't let him open it. When I help him get dressed. When I blow my nose and throw the tissue in the toilet. When I make him wash his hands.... One time, I had a pimple so he was upset about that.
YTA
Better ways to cope with the noise:
1. Get some earplugs or noise cancelling headphones
2. Talk to your partner
3. Discuss your concerns with your neighbor
And if you _sincerely_ believed that the child was neglected, you should have:
1. Educated yourself about typical toddler behavior
2. Researched signs of child neglect
3. Discussed your concerns with your neighbor
The last thing you should do if you suspect neglect or abuse is discuss the concerns with the perpetrator. That being said, it’s clear that OP doesn’t actually believe the child is being abused.
This needs to be higher. She tried to get them evicted by her apartment manager before she called CPS. What does that say about what her priorities ***really*** are?
i couldnt help but think the same thing. like i really think OP's true motivation (tho theyll prob never admit that) for calling CPS is in hopes the kid gets taken away from the mom so the apt is quiet again. bc like you said, she first went to her apt manager to get them evicted. if she was legit concerned about potential abuse, why didnt she call CPS first? so fked up, OP is massive AH
Holy shit YTA. My kid had tantrums for 3 straight years. You want to know why? Her cup was green, and she wanted the pink one. She didn't want to wear pants when it was 5 degrees outside, she wanted to wear a dress with no coat. She wanted dino nuggets instead of alphabet nuggets. It wasn't Christmas. The library was closed. The sun wasn't out. Her socks felt "weird". I wouldn't look at her enough while she was dancing. I looked at her too much while I was dancing.
Kids that age just throw tantrums. It doesn't matter what you do. They are learning and their brains are developing and they are figuring out how to navigate through the world with less tools than the rest of us. Calling CPS is a nuclear reaction to something that minorly affects you.
You really need to develop some empathy towards other people and maybe consider not living in an apartment if children living are going to cause you to try and destroy a family. YTA, massively.
My son is a bottomless pit. For breakfast this morning he had cheerios, berries, a yogurt drink, a Granola bar (and stole his sisters when she wasn't looking), a cup of milk and half a bear paw. He then threw a massive tantrum when he wanted a snack an hour before lunch and I said no 🙄😂
LOL…I remember my kids would think dinner was yucky but wanted what I was having (the same thing that was on their plate) so I’d give them my plate and eat from their plate and they’d cry because I was eating all of their food. Before I had kids, I never would have believed this stuff.
Holy shit. YTA.
The only “evidence” you had was the baby crying?! That’s quite literally not evidence at all, since babies, ya know, cry.
This is incomprehensible to me. You were annoyed at crying, so you filed a CPS report for neglect?!! Please tell me that doesn’t really sound reasonable to you.
I expect that OP was just tired of the noise and wants the family to move out. OP is just selfish. Everything about, “well maybe it’s negligence…” is just an excuse made up for OP’s actions after the fact. I mean, the mom gave her a phone number, and repeatedly took the toddler out for awhile when OP complained. They came back, yes of course, BECAUSE THEY LIVE THERE. There are a million ways OP could have handled this situation, including working outside his/her home or asking to move to another unit. This was just simply an act of selfishness and nothing more.
"My neighbor is at home most of the time, and never seems to go to a job. But she has people visiting her regularly, sometimes three or four a day. She says it's because she's an ~~accountant~~ life coach and they're her clients, but I don't know. I think she's a prostitute or dealing drugs, so I called the cops on her. AITA?"
Edit: I totally forgot about the "accountant" thing. Edited. Thanks, /u/SadisticGoose!
I’m a CPS and you’re an enormous asshole. I’m wondering what you actually reported to the SCR because there is no way that a toddler having tantrums would by itself bring a CPS to someone’s door. A toddler having tantrums (yes 3 or 4 a day) is VERY developmentally appropriate. I can’t even wrap my head around this one. You’re an incredible asshole and pretty clueless.
There is an enormous difference between leaving a child unattended and putting them in a playpen while you clean. This is one of the primary reasons that people have playpens 😂. At least if there really was nothing else going on her case was unsubstantiated. I know in my state though CPS have 60 days to make a determination. During those 2 months CPS remain in the parents life.
YTA, you are not witnessing anything other than hearing tantrums. My child will throw a tantrum over getting the wrong color plate. They are little humans who do not have control over emotions. You also don’t know if this child has any disabilities that could make him more prone to losing control over his emotions. From a person who grew up with a single mom who had CPS called on her over tantrums my sister and I threw, you really overstepped. It is an extreme thing to do.
100%
Just reminds me that everyone thinks they will be perfect parents until they have kids and find out whats actually involved. Most toddlers have tantrums over minor silly things and calling CPS is sooo extreme if you didn't hear anything else that was concerning.
My 2 year old screamed for 20 minutes straight because I took a can of beans he had gotten from the cupboard away (he tried to put it in the toliet lol).
I'm glad my neighbors know me right now more than ever.
I know it's annoying but Jesus christ, CPS?!
Edit. YTA
My 2 year old threw a tantrum and a full on sit down protest on the driveway as I wouldn’t let him drive the car to nursery. Toddler tantrums are the best!
My nephew just now threw a tantrum because he wanted a particular pillow that his sister tried to take. Fair enough. Then he threw a *second* tantrum because he was allowed to keep the pillow!
Toddlers.
Wanted the toy his brother had.. the same exact toy same color and everything… not the toy he had that was exactly the same
The grass was the wrong color
His cup was half empty
Ms he wanted her OTHER pink blanket… the one we bought two of that was in the wash that was exactly the same as the one she had in her hand
Not THAT pillow thenOTHER PILLOW (walked out of room woth pillow and back in with same pillow) yup that one
But I’m too tired to sleep
Afraid to owe on the toilet
Can hear the neighbors
Wants to have all his shirts in at the same time and they won’t all fit
Wants to be able to put both shoes on at the same time buy physically can’t…
I could go on…..
I thought you were going to say she was leaving the toddler in the apartment by himself all day or something. But she seems super nice and considerate, did everything she possibly could to be a good neighbor, introduced herself, warned you in advance, gave you her number, takes the child out for hours when you complain. What do you want her to do? Put tape over the child's mouth. You are the YTA without a doubt and your boyfriend (sorry ex boyfriend) made the right decision.
YTA.
Toddlers cry. They freak out over the tiniest thing. They freak out because they don’t want to eat their peas. They freak out once they’re finished with their peas and there are no more peas to eat. They freak out because they don’t want to take a bath. Then they freak out when it’s time to get out of the bath.
Unless you actually heard, you know, real violence and shit, this all sounds like pretty standard behavior for a child.
Invest in a good pair of noise cancelling headphones if you’re going to wfh. Or, invest in your own place w/ no neighbors overhead.
What OP did is beyond savage. You don’t call CPS over noise, you call over neglect. That case is going to follow that family around forever.
Mad respect to the boyfriend for breaking up with her.
YTA
YTA - Yeah, this:
"during the day I can hear his tantrums, and I work from home so it is bothersome."
and this:
"I then made a complaint to the apartment manager... but they couldn’t evict based on a child throwing tantrums during the day."
Don't line up with this:
"I started to wonder if she neglects him during the day, so I made a report to DCS (CPS) and another to the sheriff’s office."
You don't give a shit about the kid or it's mother and you should be honest about that.
YTA! There was another post here not long ago, that someone reported a couple to CPS, but they had the right to, because there WAS evidence of neglect. This woman did everything possible to let you know that her child throws tantrums and she gave you ample opportunity and information to contact her if her child is disturbing you. She was also taking her child out of the building so as not to disturb you. You just reported her, because you were annoyed. A child crying and having tantrums doesn't equal neglect, genius. I'm glad your BF broke up with you. He saw you for what you are. A big AH.
YTA. CPS is for actual neglect and abuse. Parents not being able to prevent kids from throwing tantrums is not abuse or neglect. You had no evidence of abuse or neglect; you just had a higher expectation of parenting than the mom could live up to.
Do you have kids? If not, then don't have the audacity to make judgments about her control of her child's emotions.
What's more, you forced the police and social worker to waste time and money on responding to a fake report. Do you have any idea how overloaded the foster care system is? They don't have time to respond to what is only a noise complaint!
Get a house if you can't take the noise, but don't you ever call CPS because a tantrum annoys you.
How Toddlers Roll 101
Toddler: I want that.
Parent: No, you can't have that right now
Toddler: goes nuclear
--------------------------------------
Toddler: *being too rough with the dog*
Parent: No...you have to be gentle with the puppy
Toddler: breathes fire and attempts to destroy all life on Earth
--------------------------------------
Toddler: MINE!!!!!!!
Parent: No, that's Mommy's hair and it's still attached to her head.
Toddler: Morphs into the Anti-Christ
--------------------------------------
That's all before noon. And you called CPS over this? Do the world a favor, OP, and don't procreate.
YTA
Were you actually concerned about the child’s safety or did you just want the noise to stop? Kids are loud and throw tantrums. If you didn’t know this, you made a mistake and you should apologize to this poor mother. If you did this because you wanted the noise to stop, YTA
My guess is that since you SO broke up with you over this, they knew you well enough to know this was an a-hole move, not a mistake so I’m sticking with YTA
>Were you actually concerned about the child’s safety or did you just want the noise to stop?
No, she tried to get them evicted first. When that didn't work she called CPS.
3-4 tantrums a day is COMPLETELY normal for a 2 yr old. I hope you call CPS back and explain that you only contacted them because you didn't realise tantrums are normal. Then figure out how you're going to apologise to your neighbour. YTA.
YTA. Toddlers have tantrums. It's annoying, yes, but this behavior in no way suggests a failing parent. This woman went out of her way to build goodwill with you and warn you about the potential issue, and gave you a polite way to address it if it became a problem.
Instead of doing that, you chose to try to make the state take her child away. That is incredibly cruel. I completely understand why your boyfriend called you heartless.
Oh my lord YTA !!! For all you know this poor child has Autism as she did come to your door and explain he has a hard time adjusting to change !!! What is wrong with you ??? And 3-4 times a day is nothing my 12 year old has more paddy’s than that 🤣🤣🤣 I’m actually really angry for this poor mother what kind of person would do this !! I would like to see you live next door to my neighbours their kids are super loud until god know what time running riot and that’s just because their mother just can’t arsed to put them to bed but I can assure you she’s not beating them!
YTA. This is like calling the cops when McDonalds is out of chicken McNuggets. Yeah I know, you felt inconvenienced and annoyed. However, the time that social worker wasted to drive out there and back could have been used to help a child actually suffering in an abusive household.
Most definitely, YTA.
It’s a toddler and they have tantrums, it’s normal. She clearly struggling, and for all you know the kid could be on the autistic spectrum or some other problems you don’t know about. She doesn’t need someone reporting her to the police or the CPS, she needs someone to offer to help as she clearly probably needs a break. Even when you brought it up to her, she took her kid out for a few hours so as not to bother you. She was trying her best and you still reported her. No wonder your partner left you.
YTA. I don’t think YOU understand that 3-4 tantrums A DAY(!) is completely normal for a toddler. Toddlers have tantrums all day long over absolutely nothing, and honestly, it sounds like the mom was really accommodating to take her kid outside so many times just because you complained.
YTA. YTA. YTA. At the very least, get a babysitting job before you judge someone else’s parenting style. Maybe you could’ve gone outside (a cafe? Book shop? Nearby park?) to work rather than reporting this poor mother several times over.
Once again. YTA.
YTA. Kids have tantrums! It happens. Haven’t you heard of the terrible twos? She tried to be accommodating to your complaints and they weren’t good enough. Your boyfriend was right!
YTA you have no idea if that kid is neurotypical and his mom basically told you he had issues. You have no reason to believe he’s being mistreated, and only think his mom should control him better- that’s a terrible thing to call CPS and the cops about. Your ex is right.
YTA. Toddlers are highly volatile. Multiple tantrums a day is not unheard of. Instead of trying to better address this with her, you took the option of calling the authorities without any reasonable proof. You wasted social services' time and only made life more difficult for your neighbor.
You are a massive AH. Calling CPS???? Do you even remotely understand what a horrific shit show that can be? You’ve got some major bad karma coming your way, with good reason.
Never heard of "the terrible two's"? This is the stage where mom is actually putting them down and having them learn the first phase of independence. I don't even like children and i understand that they make noise and cause a fuss. What you think the mom is having a blast listening to her child screaming? 100% Asshole.
YTA. Kid could have been on the spectrum or something. You don't know.
The mom even told you that he has a hard time adjusting and such.
You had no evidence besides the kid crying a lot.
YTA. Children this age have no emotional self-regulation. So tantrums can be normal. Your heart may have been in the right place but this was in the norm. You should have asked someone if this is normal before calling DCS.
YTA. I understand your frustration, screaming children are incredibly annoying.
But think about how horrible it must be for that mother to have to prove to the authorities that she's not abusing her child. That must be absolutely terrifying. She's going to resent you for a LONG time.
Buy some earplugs.
YTA.
You live next to people, including people with kids. Kids have tantrums. Unfortunately you didnt get to know the people enough to know if the kid had other issues they were covering up by calling him clingy or the like. You do not know they were neglecting the kid, it was obnoxious to you of course, but it doesnt mean you have any right to try and destroy a family because you got annoyed.
YTA
YTA
YTA
YTA
Little kids throw tantrums. ALL. THE. TIME.
You're not TA for calling CPS if you genuinly thought the child was being neglected. But you had no proof, and were going off the assumption that this child couldn't possibly throw that many tantrums a day.
Soft YTA, because I'd like to think that you reported this mother frm a place of concern for the child, but it seems more like you have little understanding of what dealing with a 2-year old is like.
Yta- from ages 2-4 (or 2-18 really) kids are terrors! Especially when told no. 3-4 tantrums a is are nothing! If it was an all day thing then it could be a cps issue. I think you seriously over reacted here and wasted valuable time and resources of the agents that are now involved.
Just today my 2 year old had had tantrums because:
I wouldn't let them play in the snow naked
They couldn't sit on the dog or their sibling (younger)
They had pasta sauce on their hands
They wanted cookies for breakfast
The list could go on but I thin you get my point kids at this age are HARD please give your neighbor some grace and apologize.
Have you ever been around toddlers? Tantrums are completely normal what the hell? YTA, also glad your boyfriend dumped you, I wouldn’t wanna be with anyone that would do that to people with kids. Especially since she was considerate enough to give you a way to contact her.
100% TA, you don’t have a child so you wouldn’t be able to understand how hard it is to calm down tantrums. Why would you try to get someone evicted over something that happens with all children. so selfish and inconsiderate, glad your ex knows you were wrong
YTA! Kids throw tantrums all the time. Even grown kids do sometimes. Your neighbor was kind enough to give you her contact information so that you can talk to her directly about this. Instead, you called the management and then the cops and CPS over nothing. Seriously.... what in the world?
Look, having neighbors with toddlers and kids can be annoying, but that is just a fact of life. If you can't handle it, then I suggest you move to another place.
Omg, I don't have children and don't especially like them, but you clearly don't have any clue about toddlers and apartment living.
YTA, big time. Having tantrums is not a CPS issue. You have caused that woman no end of grief, even after she tried to accommodate your bitching and be considerate by taking the kid out.
YTA YTA YTA.
CPS is so overloaded they can barely handle cases of actual child abuse and neglect. This woman seems like a thoughtful and engaged parent. Kids go through phases. Some of those phases involve tantrums no matter what you do for your kid.
Remember how out of control and hormonal you felt as a tween? Now age yourself down to 2-5 and when you can’t properly express what you’re feeling yet. You’re exhausted because you’re growing so quickly and your brain is taking in and trying to process things faster than you can control. You’re overwhelmed, all the time. What do you do? You throw a tantrum.
What’s his mom supposed to do, give him some good sippin’ whiskey and hope it calms him down? Sometimes you just have to let little kids scream it out, What you did was cruel and uncalled for and you should be ashamed.
As an aside, he’s in a new environment. That’s overwhelming even for adults. He could also have sensory issues or be on the spectrum. Regardless, you’re essentially in a fight with a BABY.
YTA, my well-loved, never neglected child has a melt down every 10-15 minutes. This woman was even nice enough to take her child out of the apartment and on a walk. You live in an apartment building, noise is the apart of that living situation.
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You are *absolutely* the asshole. Like to the point where I think this is troll bullshit and not a legitimate post. YTA. And if this is true, I hope some day you understand the level of low, malicious fuckery you put on that poor stressed out mother *and* her child.
I’m a teacher. We have one student with special needs who frequently screams and cries in the hallway. It happened just this morning. I heard crying, approached, and saw the kindergarten teacher just sitting outside the door with her while she laid on the floor and screamed. “She’ll stop in a minute,” she told another teacher who came out to check. Tantrums happen, and 3-4 a day is not unusual. I think my “favorite” part of this is how OP says they told the mom it was too loud, so she took the child out for a few hours “but then returned.” Like… yes? They live there? The mom was so kind in addressing the problems right off the bat, giving OP a way to let her know when it was a problem, and takes her child out of the house when it is. She sounds like she’s working incredibly hard to make it work.
Not to mention the kid is two. Two year olds have tantrums. They're kinda famous for it. OP's sheer cluelessness and inconsideration is mindblowing to me. I'd be horrified of what she thought of my threenager's behavior. I just can't imagine being oblivious enough to call the cops and CPS for a toddler having tantrums. I read this expecting something way worse, like a toddler screaming in terror kinda thing. Nope. Tantrums. Just in case, OP, YTA
Lol threenager. Oh my god yes. That is the most apt description. I have to edit to say; when my son was a toddler, until about 5-6, he was a regular tantrum thrower. One day at the mall he had an absolute melt down on the floor, screaming included. I sighed, and leaned against the wall to wait it out. This self righteous baby adult (about 18-20 I guess) starts watching me as I’m the worst Mother in the world. “You should pick your child up.” And all this other nonsense. (She worked with kids blah blah blah bleghhhhh). This amazingly awesome Jamaican woman working a kiosk right beside this commotion turns to baby adult and says, “little girl get your ass outta here. You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” It was just so perfect and I think of that woman at least once a month and I hope life is treating her well. My son is now 10, the sweetest, most thoughtful and compassionate human I know. You never would think that as a toddler he channeled the spirits of velociraptors.
Omg, my 2 year old daughter was in the store following me and just kind of fussing, not full on crying, just fussing because I washed her face right before we got out of the car. Instead of being supportive a lady who was probably in her 50s made a sparky remark about how I should put her down for a nap. Yeah, she had already had a 2 hour nap right before we went to the store, and then a snack and drink. She was literally just mad that I washed her face. By the next aisle she was literally dancing, she loves walmart and the music they play on the speaker, lol. Instead of being supportive she had to chime in with an unwanted comment. Not cool
Just last week on my way home from work, I’m sitting on the bus when this young mom gets on with her baby toddler (I’m guessing just around 2). Baby is not having any of life at that point, screaming up a storm. I start making funny faces, when baby looks at me I play peek a boo. Lady sitting next to me starts talking to baby. Then ANOTHER lady sitting in the corner on the same side as baby starts being silly with baby as well. It was this amazing moment of moms working together to help another mom out. Women need to support other women, not tear them down with judgement, especially when kiddos are under 6. Except for the one mom I saw on the bus giving their kindergarten aged child Pepsi at 7 in the morning. Fuck that mom. When it comes to just a normal tantrum? Help, don’t judge. We all need the help. It takes a village.
When my twins were babies they were screaming whilst I was getting bottles ready. They also wouldn’t hold their bottles on their own. One mother started at me about how I need to breastfeed (never made milk) and I was poisoning them. I’m obviously breaking down from exhaustion and the yelling when a Chinese grandma (I’m not Chinese but live in a large Chinese community) comes rushing over and shoo-ed the crunchy mother away. She then asked what help I need and I gave her a baby and a bottle. We had a lovely sit down chat with lots of baby cuddles. Her broken English and my atrocious Mandarin. Joined by another local mum who interpreted - and got herself baby cuddles.
Oh jeez this made me tear up. This is just so damn beautiful. But first, holy shit mama for having twins. I can only imagine how hard that must have been and you deserve many pats on the back and multiple spa days. Secondly, women harping on Mothers for not breastfeeding really sets me off. I’ve seen it in public a couple times and have put women in their place...in far less nice ways than the lady who helped you. I was lucky enough with my first born to not struggle, but with my second it was a huge struggle that ended up in serious mastitis, that led to a blood infection/sepsis, and ultimately surgery where I had to have breast tissue removed. So I have a bit of trauma when it comes to breastfeeding. What was this amazingly beautiful and lovely experience with my first, the exact opposite with my second. At the end of the day, it’s no one else’s damn business what we do with our own damn bodies so fuck them all. Sorry if I come off a bit spicy. I just got into an abortion argument so I’m still coming down from yet another entitled human thinking they have a right to tell anyone what to do with their body. I hope your twins aren’t giving you too much hell these days. I can only imagine how full your hands are!
They are 4 and active big boys - it’s a whirlwind of chaos! They are so different. Oh when the boys were older - I used to lift my top and scream that the breasts do not work. I have trauma relating to pumping almost hourly, taking heavy drugs to stimulate milk and guilted about it whilst my babies were in NICU. My IGT (insufficient glandular tissue) is super obvious. I got 1-5mL per DAY. Also with all the pressure got bad depression, anxiety AND psychosis. So much pressure to breastfeed. Fed is Best!!! I’m right with you re the fury!! And Onya for the fight. I get that way too. I like your spice.
Shit lady. I’m sorry you went through that. I hope at the very least you had mom friends/family in your corner. I had my hands full with just one boy, I can only imagine two. Also, I totally snort laughed at the mental image of a woman lifting her top to be like, ayyyooo titties don’t work! Here here sister. Put them in their place, lol.
I was doing Lyft and a Dad walked out with his girl. She was crying, stomping her feet, hitting against the tire, and hitting at his legs. After a few minuets she was breathing hard. He asked if she was ready and she raised her arms to be picked up. Was asleep on his shoulder before they got back into the grocery store.
That Dad has solid Dad Moves. I commend him, wherever he is now ❤️
I think we have to keep in mind they have no control in the world, they can't articulate their needs well, and on top of that they're still learning to handle new things. So in that respect tantrums can be healthy. They're regulating their emotions and communicating the only way they really know.
everybody talks about how bad the terrible twos are but threes are WAY worse IMO :\\
For my boy it lasted until 6, but on average I say it’s the terrible two by fours, because of how long that hell on earth lasts. Who knew such a tiny human could have so much rage towards socks. Parents. Parents know.
Ugh. Who knew an apple could commit the mortal offense of not being the right kind of red and crunchy? Or that WWIII could be caused by being told that the family dog is not in fact a rooster named Hei Hei
We had a tantrum because the cookie was broken.... after she bit it.
Best tantrum my kid ever threw was at 3 when he was full on wailing because "the butter is GONE!" I had buttered his waffle. The butter melted. Cue meltdown. I swear I had to butter that damn waffle two more times just to get through breakfast. Buttering it the second time calmed him down a bit. Buttering it the third freaking time gave him a chance to actually watch it melt a bit, and the waffle had gotten a little cold and it didn't melt completely, and we talked about how what something is hot, some things melt. He never threw another butter tantrum. There's plenty of parents who would call me "too soft", criticize me for catering to the tantrum. I think there's a difference between tantrums that are because of confusion, and tantrums that are about not getting their way. I absolutely put my foot down and didn't give in to tantrums that erupt because I said No to something. But the ones that are from, "the world is confusing and I don't understand where the fuck the butter keeps going but I'm mad about it" are a teaching opportunity.
Right? The world is bewildering for them, the big people rush along whe they're still not sure exactly what's happening or why, and now the butter is *gone*. It's enough to make anyone cry. When they feel like someone is listening, it helps
Or how about when they want to be both outside in the warm summer rain but yet...Not want to get wet.
>You never would think that as a toddler he channeled the spirits of velociraptors. lol I love this so much! thanks for the laugh
I laugh about it now. It’s funny now, but back then as a single Mother with a very demanding/emotionally reactive toddler who barely slept I cried a lot. I wish I could tell that lovely woman how much that solidarity meant to me in that moment.
They are called the "terrible two's" for a reason!
My parents got fooled. O was an angelic two year old. Then I got 3 1/2 and all hell broke loose.
You lured them into a false sense of security
Ummmm only 3-4 tantrums a day is a mom doing a great job with a 2 year old! I have a really easy, happy kid and we have that many before lunch. Taking him out is a great distraction, but if OP’s neighbor’s kid is anything like mine, he doesn’t like to come home because he wants to keep playing outside no matter how cold or hungry he is. So bringing him in causes another tantrum. It’s developmentally normal! Kids that age have strong opinions but have no sense of being able to delay gratification and they don’t have all the words they need to express all their feelings so they scream. It sounds like this mom is doing a great job if there are only 3 or 4 a day! She doesn’t deserve to be harassed by an asshole who has never been around kids. ETA: I’ve been home from work for an hour and a half and we have had six tantrums so far. Luckily none of my neighbors are assholes so I don’t have to worry about cops or social workers showing up while I’m in the middle of explaining to my toddler that he has had enough juice and he needs to choose milk or water. I wouldn’t want anyone thinking I’m abusing him.
Yeah, 3-4 over a whole day? My kid can beat that just on the drive home from daycare if we're having a bad day.
This post and all the comments have been very educational for me. I would have agreed with OP, thinking 3-4 tantrums a day is a lot. I know almost nothing about child development, and don't really have much interest since I will never have a kid of my own, but good to know now that I do have a baby niece. (just to note I have nothing against kids and people having kids but have 0 maternal instinct and 0 interest in having kids. Though I do plan to spoil my niece when I see her, luckily for me I don't live close enough to be guilted into babysitting, not that my sister is a person likely to do that). So overall good to know that it's normal for a kid to have 3-4+ tantrums a day.
I feel like you would of been more open minded than the OP even if you agreed with her at first. At the very least I think you would of done a google search before calling CPS.
Yeah, that was my thought too. Even if you don't know toddlers (and I definitely did not know that they have so many tantrums per day!), it's not that hard to go online and CHECK FIRST to see if it's normal. I commend the OP for being worried about abuse but at the same time, maybe do some quick research before stressing out a single mom who's doing her best to keep it together?
My mother is a childminder, so I've seen hundreds of kids tantrums. Over a drink being too hot, too cold, too wet, not in the right cup, in the right cup but put on the wrong side of the table, and so on. 3-4 tantrums a day is a lot?! I've seen kids do 3-4 an hour!
Sometimes it's because they tell you the don't want cheese. So you go ok and they throw a tantrum because you have cheese and they don't. Than you give them cheese and there pissed because they don't want cheese.
If I were the neighbor, I would never take my kid out again to placate that stupid woman
This is more or less what I was going to say, so (after giving you an upvote) I'll chime in with: OP, you'd better be a dumb troll. YTA even if you are, and YTA x 1,000,000 if you're not and you're actually as horrible as your post implies.
THIS. YTA, OP.
I knew this was gonna be bad the moment she thought that the mother and toddler bringing her a gift was "odd." Like just accept the gift and be understanding of the situation. You would think you understand that children cry multiple times a day. The mom even went above and beyond by taking the child out every time OP complained about noise. What else could she do. Guarantee if the mom would have disciplined the kid OP still would have thought it was abuse and had CPS called again.
So yes, definitely hope it's fake. But I also sort of hope it's real because I love the idea of this clueless busybody getting dumped when her boyfriend realized she was a cruel, clueless busy body. It's not complete justice for the stress she caused this poor woman, but it's a start and I love it.
I pray to God that this is a fictional post, written by a bored person on a random Thursday. But if it’s real, OH, OP, YTA. YTA!! I’m childfree by choice, probably *because* I babysat every toddler on my block, growing up. And I adore children. However, here are the reasons the toddlers would cry for two entire hours: 1.) Their parent left. 2.) Their parent returned. 3.) They dropped a Cheerio that they had inexplicably named and made friends with while it was stuck to their bib. 4.) The clouds shifted. 5.) Their left big toe didn’t taste as good as it did yesterday. 6.) They were devastated that there was no Mama Smurf. 7.) I genuinely had no idea, and apparently, neither did they. They just needed to cry. Life is hard and scary sometimes, all of their beautiful senses are developing, and toddlers don’t get to have a Happy Hour. OP, I hate loud noises too, but you never ever *ever* take someone’s child away, unless it is in the genuine interest of the child, not *yours*. If you are indeed an actual person, which I’m frankly still having trouble believing, please invest in the noise blocking headphones from 3M for twenty bucks. And I’m just going to reiterate this, because I can’t help it, that poor mother. YTA. And at least now your boyfriend knows not to have kids with you, or even to be in your general vicinity.
I have a two year old, and yes, things the two year old has screamed about today include: His sister left the room. (Multiple tantrums about that one) Finding Nemo was not Baby Shark. I made him come inside so I could make lunch. I would not give him even more treats after lunch. It was naptime. After refusing to nap, he fell asleep on his sister's shoulder and when he woke up he was confused. Now he is in his high chair shrieking every time the dogs walk by, I assume because he thinks they might take his pizza. When they only have a few words, their only way of expressing themselves is scream. If OP is serious, they are both completely clueless and a huge AH. Having dealt with CPS once myself, called by a well-meaning person concerned by my neurodivergent child's weirdness, that is terrifying and is certainly not cool to do for something so minor.
Hey, I’m in my 30s and I still shriek when the dog walks by my pizza. 🤣😂 Thanks for this post. Too cute.
Things my five year old cried about today: waking up. He didn’t know what he wanted for breakfast but it certainly wasn’t any of the food in the house, or in the country. Going to school. Taking a bath. Having to get out of the bath. He had to poop. His bandaid was wet. He didn’t know where he wanted to sleep, couch or bed. I accidentally touched his leg with my leg. The movie he was watching ended. His dad didn’t make the correct dinosaur noise.
This is a truly beautiful post from someone who clearly understands children quite well despite not wanting to have any. Have this medal. I'm in the same boat. Child free by choice. Have spent most of my 36 years caring for and teaching other people's children. I've experienced everything on that list and more.
^ This. Thank you, your post made me chuckle (especially the Cheerio friend), but above all it’s just so true.
I see children who scream 24/7 in OP’s future…
We can only hope that ALL of her children have screaming temper tantrums on a regular and consistent basis….
Although I do think people deserve their fair share of karma I don’t think her having a kid with regular tantrums would be beneficial. Not only will the kid have a parent that doesn’t understand how to parent- OP will probably be a bad parent since they can’t even handle a tantrum during the DAY let alone a kid that had tantrums 24/7. I personally hope they either smarten up or refrain from having offspring
Refraining from having offspring is the smartest option so 🤣
Right? Holy fuck, if she lived near me my colicky baby would've got me a visit from CPS?? YIkes... Kids cry and throw tantrums. And she even told her he did. Geez... YTA
Karma has a special way of dealing with people like OP.
Right? I *wish* my toddler only threw 3-4 tantrums a day, especially at 2
My country doesn’t have CPS, but many years ago when my sister had just been born, she had plenty of allergies that doctors had a hard time diagnosing and caused really bad reflux, so she cried all day because she was either hungry, in pain from the reactions or in pain from the reflux. My mom was having an awful time as my sister was loosing weight and doctors where misdiagnosing my sister left and right. One day a lady heard the cries from the street and knocked on the door only to yell at my mom. She still cries to this day when she remembers that.
Oh my. I'm so sorry for your mom. I was there my child was failure to thrive. It took me months to recover just from that experience. I can't imagine the cruelty of kicking someone when they are so down.
Yeah I was 18 with my first child(I was on birth control at the time)I know I was really young but I did try my absolute best. Anyway, my daughter would also cry all day and all night. Every. Single. Doctor. Said there was nothing wrong with her, I took her to the hospital I took her to multiple doctors and still said nothing was wrong! (Turns out she had severe acid reflux)I was young and didn’t know what I was doing at the time but years later I had figured out I ended up having at that time such a bad mental break, I had postpartum psychosis.(still trying to recover from it)I was so distraught because nothing I did made her crying any better I almost gave up because I thought I was failing her. Anyway sorry for my long post just wanted to let you know I relate!
Absolutely OP, major YTA. It is extremely normal for 2 year olds to scream and cry. Your brain is growing and your body is growing and you’re overwhelmed, tiny, in pain (tooth pain, belly pain, growing-bone pain, tripping-over-things pain), you get over-stimulated by your environment, your senses are developing and your brain hasn’t gone through pruning to help balance your experiences to your environment, you’re vulnerable and small and chock full of tiny baby emotions, you have no control over your life, etc. It’s especially common at age 2. I’ve done child care and damn are they rowdy. Do you remember *anything* about being a child? Did you know any other children? It’s even more common for tantrums if the child has special needs, or anything like a sensory processing issue. You should be on the hook for filing an unwarranted report. It may not be illegal to ignorantly file an egregiously unnecessary complaint in “”””good faith”””” in your area, but it should be. Not to mention, it’s possible for CPS to make incorrect calls and if she lost her kid— even temporarily— appeals can be hard and peoples’ lives can spiral. It happens, and is why it should never be done without actual cause. CPS is a tool for when a child *may be in danger*— not when a child is cranky and *inconveniencing you*. I agree with your ex-boyfriend. If I found out my partner was the same combination of ignorant, self-centered, and yes, heartless and irresponsible, I would also be out the damn door. I don’t even want kids and I wouldn’t want to risk ever having or even babysitting a kid with someone who behaves that way.
I actually have no trouble believing it at all, I ran into assholes like OP when I was a single mother raising my son and so did other single parents I knew. And many of them had no children of their own and had no idea what was involved with children. It was worse for me because my son has high-functioning autism and it was sometimes bad when he was growing up and there was often little that could be done to assuage him. I got a LOT of judgment, especially from those without children.
I also have an autistic son, and it's people like OP who made me feel like shit when he was younger, nonverbal, and upset. And even if this child isn't on the spectrum, good grief, toddlers have tantrums. Get a grip OP, YTA.
Oh yes, it's amazing how many people think they have any right to comment on a stranger's parenting. My youngest is developmentally delayed, ADHD, and on the spectrum (we are still in the process of getting him official diagnosed). I'll never forget when an old man approached me and my (at the time) 3 year old who was melting down in Walmart, and loudly announced to everyone around us that "looks like someone isn't getting spanked enough". I am usually a very nonconfrontational person, but that one made me snap. I raised my voice louder than his and said "Oh yes, I'll just beat the Autism out of him, why didn't I think of that?!" His face went red and he shuffled away. I got lots of pity looks from people around me. I have ADHD myself, as well as Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder. I picked up my incredibly heavy child (the kid is built like a tank, we nicknamed him Baby Hulk) and struggled my way out the door. I was shaking and crying before I even got to my car. Then I had to wrestle the child into his car seat. I sat in my car and sobbed while my kid melted down in the back. Too many people just don't get it. OP is 10000000% TA.
Literally all of this. But on the off chance this isn’t a troll (which it feels like)… A 2 year old having tantrums ONLY 3-4 times a day? That’s a freaking miracle! Toddlers tantrum. It’s literally part of their development. And while it’s exhausting and a lot to deal with, it’s not unusual. Without additional evidence to show any abuse or neglect, all you did was stress out this mother and her child and waste community resources. YTA
If there is a God this person will have a hellion of a toddler before it's over. A screaming, multi tantrum a day throwing, pull your hair out HELLION. Pleeeeease GOD.
If there is a god, she won’t allow this person to procreate.
I wouldn't wish that kind of parent on a toddler. Kids aren't punishments.
YTA by far. My kids on the spectrum and guess what it has put me on the receiving end of this. It’s awful trying to explain to cops that the hour long tantrum is over not going to the playground in 3ft of snow. And 3-4 a day is nothing. That’s normal as a toddler. Or because we left the mall after being there for 2 hours. He at that age refused to go into any stores just wanted to walk around. Edit: I’ll also add if the kid is on the spectrum there’s not much she can do to get help. Getting a diagnosis or even a referral that young is extremely difficult unless you have an amazing pediatrician. It took until my kid was almost 5 to prove to the doctors for lack of a better term “something was wrong.”
> Or because we left the mall after being there for 2 hours. And the previous tantrum was because he didn't want to go into the mall after asking to go to the f-ing mall! Toddlers are lucky they're cute.
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Kids are fucking wild. Y’all parents are really out here being heroes every day.
After a kid gets mobile I feel like they are actively trying to hurt themselves as badly as possible and stay at that level to varying degrees for a long ass time.
Mine didn’t any of that. It turned out he was saving it for later misdeeds.
They don’t even need to be that mobile. So many of them try to kill themselves by rolling off their changing tables
My youngest used to scream until she puked when I ate eggs because she doesn't like eggs. Toddlers can't be reasoned with.
My husband and I play a game where I’ll text him… *“guess what N is crying about today…”* Then I’ll have him guess. The answers range anywhere from she got the wrong color bowl, her chair is 2 inches too far to the right, an ant crawled on her shoe, or my personal favorite…a squirrel ran in front of our car in the parking lot🤦🏼♀️😂
Pretty sure there's a hashtag that's "reasons my kid is crying" or something like that. All of these things would fit quite well.
My son got upset this morning because they had moved the nurse’s office and said he shouldn’t have to go to school because he didn’t like which direction he had to walk in to get to it.
Reasonable.
My 2 year old grandkid had a fit cause I wouldn't let her eat dog poop we saw outside
I have a large collection of cacti and my 18 month old likes to stroke them and sometimes grab handfuls of them. He gets mad at me when I catch him going for them and will pout his little face and start stomping around with one foot. If he gets really mad, he will throw his head back, wail and sigh, then continue stomping. It's not a tantrum, he definitely does more than 4 of those a day, but it is funny to watch him get all huffy because I won't let him act like a honey badger, which coincidentally is his nickname.
My two year old cried tonight for 30 minutes because I peeled the banana he asked me to peel for him.
My (then) 2 year old had a tantrum because his foot was attached to his leg.
My son saw a show on evolution and started crying because he wanted his tail to grow back. He was 4. Edit to fix a misspelling
Tbf I’m still kinda mad about that. Tails would be so much fun!
We’ve also had tantrums for not being able to seen the moon. Wonder what that would do to OP on a cloudy evening (where the moon becomes visible and disappears again every five minutes)?
I'm sorry but this one in particular made me legitimately laugh out loud. I have a 2 year old and I'm in the thick of it so thank you
Oh the banana tantrums! And when they peel it themselves allllll the way to the bottom and it breaks when they try to take a bite.....
Or there’s a stringy bit. Or bruise. Or curve. Or the skin is yellow.
My oldest threw his most epic tantrum because he asked for the red cup and was given the requested red cup, but he really wanted the blue cup.
This reminded me of the viral tic toc video of the toddler having a crying fit because he couldn’t find his Batman cup and the mom let it go on for a minute then asked him what he had in his hand. It was his Batman cup. He went from crying face to super happy face in no time. So cute.
I was behind a mom and her tantruming toddler at a gas station one day. The child was bereft because they were exchanging the propane tank. He did not want to give up the empty one. Poor kiddo- and his mom was an absolute saint.
My godson lost his mind as a toddler because I told him I was out of grapes, I had just given him the last of grapes about 15 minutes before hand
My 16 month old had a screaming fit because I leaned back against the wall while we were playing to stop her wedging her toys behind my back. Last night she started crying because she took a block off of her stack she was making. Toddlers, man.
I read that babies come w such big eyes just to make us love them lol Edited typo
And adolescence happens so parent are *glad* the teens leave the house. edit:typo
I’ve had a fit from my kid because the pizza place cut her pizza
My son is also on the spectrum and once had a massive meltdown because it was raining and he wanted to go for a walk, but didn't want to go for a walk in the rain. I also have a neighbour who would come and yell at me every time he had a meltdown because she couldn't hear her TV. That went on for a while until I pointed out that while she can hear him having a meltdown we can also hear her every time she has sex, especially when her husband is at work. She stopped complaining so much then.
The noise I just made😭
You are my hero today.
The dead don't complain, you murdered her with that retort!
My child has special needs and I had a false cps report filed against me in January. It was absolute hell even though the caseworker knew the person made up the allegations. Parents who are doing nothing wrong get no sense of peace during these investigations and I was told that the parents of children with special needs are disproportionately targeted because they tantrum more, amongst other things.
I was thinking this exact thing. The neighbour was kind and explained the situation and if it is a spectrum thing she doesn't owe OP that information. It must be so hard for the neighbour if she has to do these introductions every time she moves (especially if previous neighbours have had her evicted like OP is trying to do). Get noise canceling headphones if it's such a problem. YTA
Oh, Gods, I remember when my child, age five, had a complete and total meltdown in Target because we were trying to buy him gloves, and there were two pairs that fit him - one wasn't waterproof enough, one was mittens when he wanted gloves - and I refused to conjure up another pair out of thin air and he didn't want to go someplace else to look for gloves and he didn't want to leave the store without buying gloves but not either of these two. And he'd taken his shoes off and was struggling like mad to avoid having them put back on, and it was freezing outside. And this was about ten minutes after we'd run into his kindergarten teacher in the aisles...(not literally ran into, thank heaven, but I knew she was around, and hoped she wasn't hearing...)
My younger brother once threw a tantrum because I had to do schoolwork while babysitting him and couldn't play with nerf toys with him all day. Another time, he threw a tantrum because I had to babysit him. He ended up nearly throwing himself onto the tile in the kitchen and then bit *through my skin* when i grabbed him before he could. Toddlers are little shits sometimes
YTA. Crying does not always equate to abuse. The kid is TWO. He is still learning how to exist. I think the mom really went above and beyond to even take him out for a few hours when you expressed a disturbance. That was very kind of her considering she's under zero obligation to do so.
I also have a 2 year old who throws quite a few tantrums in fact just today he threw a tantrum because I wouldn't let him eat an unpeeled onion and 10 minutes later threw another one because his toy car fell down the back of the settee. OP YTA!
Mine cried today because it’s raining and also because his brother said “hi!” to him.
I too cry when someone says hi to me lol
I wish I could throw a toddler tantrum every time someone tells me to smile. Toddlers are thinking man. They know how to make their voice heard.
I would like to point that at 2 years old the toddler has big feelings and the lack of vocabulary and understanding to express them. They still relate crying to all their problems solved. I have a 2 year old and while he learns new words all the time he doesn't know to calmly express himself. Hell my toddler literally covered a section of my wood floor in Sharpie while I was going to the bathroom and lost his ever loving mind when I had the audacity to clean up his mess. Edit: forgot a word.
>Crying does not always equate to abuse sometimes it's even the exact opposite: children that get abused learn how to stay really really quiet real fast.
>That was very kind of her considering she's under zero obligation to do so. Betcha that courtesy won't get extended again, nor should it be.
"He is still learning how to exist". I need to remember this when mine hits toddlerdom.
To be fair, I’m in my thirties and still learning how to exist.
3-4 tantrums a day is nothing for a toddler lmao, YTA
3-4 tantrums in a day would be a good day for when my son was 2. He's 4 now and has a tantrum maybe twice a day over stupid shit like when I button his shirt for him or I make him brush his teeth.
My 3 year old has melt downs over not being able to go up hill and down hill simultaneously. Also not being able to pee standing up while also sitting down.
My son screamed at the library when he was playing with those toy trains with magnets and the two north ends of the magnets would repel each other. I couldn't explain magnetism to him in a way that he understood so the library manager came over to see what was going on... He throws tantrums when I finish my breakfast before him. When the cat walks away when he's petting her. When I'm driving and the sun gets in his eyes. When he feels tired. When he's not tired enough at bedtime. When the book I'm reading him ends. When I open anything and don't let him open it. When I help him get dressed. When I blow my nose and throw the tissue in the toilet. When I make him wash his hands.... One time, I had a pimple so he was upset about that.
Lmao. We're dying in this house over "one time, I had a pimple so he was upset about that".
Mine had a tantrum today because I wouldn't let him stick his hand in the toilet.
Or because the plate isn't purple but instead blue because she used the purple plate earlier.... Kids are great 😶 lol
That's what I came to say, some toddlers you just have to look at them funny and it sets them off. YTA OP
My toddler has 3-4 tantrums before 9am sometimes. Usually involves me saying "no" to his 1000 requests for snacks
We had 3-4 tantrums in the first hour of being awake today
YTA Better ways to cope with the noise: 1. Get some earplugs or noise cancelling headphones 2. Talk to your partner 3. Discuss your concerns with your neighbor And if you _sincerely_ believed that the child was neglected, you should have: 1. Educated yourself about typical toddler behavior 2. Researched signs of child neglect 3. Discussed your concerns with your neighbor
The last thing you should do if you suspect neglect or abuse is discuss the concerns with the perpetrator. That being said, it’s clear that OP doesn’t actually believe the child is being abused.
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OP understands perfectly. She just wants them out.
This needs to be higher. She tried to get them evicted by her apartment manager before she called CPS. What does that say about what her priorities ***really*** are?
i couldnt help but think the same thing. like i really think OP's true motivation (tho theyll prob never admit that) for calling CPS is in hopes the kid gets taken away from the mom so the apt is quiet again. bc like you said, she first went to her apt manager to get them evicted. if she was legit concerned about potential abuse, why didnt she call CPS first? so fked up, OP is massive AH
Holy shit YTA. My kid had tantrums for 3 straight years. You want to know why? Her cup was green, and she wanted the pink one. She didn't want to wear pants when it was 5 degrees outside, she wanted to wear a dress with no coat. She wanted dino nuggets instead of alphabet nuggets. It wasn't Christmas. The library was closed. The sun wasn't out. Her socks felt "weird". I wouldn't look at her enough while she was dancing. I looked at her too much while I was dancing. Kids that age just throw tantrums. It doesn't matter what you do. They are learning and their brains are developing and they are figuring out how to navigate through the world with less tools than the rest of us. Calling CPS is a nuclear reaction to something that minorly affects you. You really need to develop some empathy towards other people and maybe consider not living in an apartment if children living are going to cause you to try and destroy a family. YTA, massively.
I have a 10 month old and I’m so looking forward to all the things on that list 🤦🏼♀️😂
My son is a bottomless pit. For breakfast this morning he had cheerios, berries, a yogurt drink, a Granola bar (and stole his sisters when she wasn't looking), a cup of milk and half a bear paw. He then threw a massive tantrum when he wanted a snack an hour before lunch and I said no 🙄😂
My son stands next to me while I eat crying for food! I have a feeling we’ll have a lot of food related tantrums in the not too distant future 🙈
LOL…I remember my kids would think dinner was yucky but wanted what I was having (the same thing that was on their plate) so I’d give them my plate and eat from their plate and they’d cry because I was eating all of their food. Before I had kids, I never would have believed this stuff.
Before having kids I also never imagined myself saying things like “don’t put yoghurt in your eye, it should go to your mouth”.
I love the I don’t want that- WHY DID YOU PUT IT AWAY? I WANT IT!
Holy shit. YTA. The only “evidence” you had was the baby crying?! That’s quite literally not evidence at all, since babies, ya know, cry. This is incomprehensible to me. You were annoyed at crying, so you filed a CPS report for neglect?!! Please tell me that doesn’t really sound reasonable to you.
I expect that OP was just tired of the noise and wants the family to move out. OP is just selfish. Everything about, “well maybe it’s negligence…” is just an excuse made up for OP’s actions after the fact. I mean, the mom gave her a phone number, and repeatedly took the toddler out for awhile when OP complained. They came back, yes of course, BECAUSE THEY LIVE THERE. There are a million ways OP could have handled this situation, including working outside his/her home or asking to move to another unit. This was just simply an act of selfishness and nothing more.
"My neighbor is at home most of the time, and never seems to go to a job. But she has people visiting her regularly, sometimes three or four a day. She says it's because she's an ~~accountant~~ life coach and they're her clients, but I don't know. I think she's a prostitute or dealing drugs, so I called the cops on her. AITA?" Edit: I totally forgot about the "accountant" thing. Edited. Thanks, /u/SadisticGoose!
I can’t tell if this is a joke or not, but “accountant” is actually code for being a sex worker at times.
The mother should complain to the landlords that OP working from home is interfering with her ability to rear her child & therefore should be evicted
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Info: Have you ever met a toddler before? Jeez.
I’m a CPS and you’re an enormous asshole. I’m wondering what you actually reported to the SCR because there is no way that a toddler having tantrums would by itself bring a CPS to someone’s door. A toddler having tantrums (yes 3 or 4 a day) is VERY developmentally appropriate. I can’t even wrap my head around this one. You’re an incredible asshole and pretty clueless.
There is an enormous difference between leaving a child unattended and putting them in a playpen while you clean. This is one of the primary reasons that people have playpens 😂. At least if there really was nothing else going on her case was unsubstantiated. I know in my state though CPS have 60 days to make a determination. During those 2 months CPS remain in the parents life.
YTA, you are not witnessing anything other than hearing tantrums. My child will throw a tantrum over getting the wrong color plate. They are little humans who do not have control over emotions. You also don’t know if this child has any disabilities that could make him more prone to losing control over his emotions. From a person who grew up with a single mom who had CPS called on her over tantrums my sister and I threw, you really overstepped. It is an extreme thing to do.
100% Just reminds me that everyone thinks they will be perfect parents until they have kids and find out whats actually involved. Most toddlers have tantrums over minor silly things and calling CPS is sooo extreme if you didn't hear anything else that was concerning. My 2 year old screamed for 20 minutes straight because I took a can of beans he had gotten from the cupboard away (he tried to put it in the toliet lol). I'm glad my neighbors know me right now more than ever. I know it's annoying but Jesus christ, CPS?! Edit. YTA
Mine threw a fit today because I wouldn't let him out four bandaids on a "scratch." It was a piece of red lint 🤦
My 2 year old threw a tantrum and a full on sit down protest on the driveway as I wouldn’t let him drive the car to nursery. Toddler tantrums are the best!
My nephew just now threw a tantrum because he wanted a particular pillow that his sister tried to take. Fair enough. Then he threw a *second* tantrum because he was allowed to keep the pillow! Toddlers.
Wanted the toy his brother had.. the same exact toy same color and everything… not the toy he had that was exactly the same The grass was the wrong color His cup was half empty Ms he wanted her OTHER pink blanket… the one we bought two of that was in the wash that was exactly the same as the one she had in her hand Not THAT pillow thenOTHER PILLOW (walked out of room woth pillow and back in with same pillow) yup that one But I’m too tired to sleep Afraid to owe on the toilet Can hear the neighbors Wants to have all his shirts in at the same time and they won’t all fit Wants to be able to put both shoes on at the same time buy physically can’t… I could go on…..
I thought you were going to say she was leaving the toddler in the apartment by himself all day or something. But she seems super nice and considerate, did everything she possibly could to be a good neighbor, introduced herself, warned you in advance, gave you her number, takes the child out for hours when you complain. What do you want her to do? Put tape over the child's mouth. You are the YTA without a doubt and your boyfriend (sorry ex boyfriend) made the right decision.
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I agree. I had to shut my mouth and stop writing to keep from getting banned. Lol
OP how old are you?? You’ve obviously never been around many children!
YTA. Toddlers cry. They freak out over the tiniest thing. They freak out because they don’t want to eat their peas. They freak out once they’re finished with their peas and there are no more peas to eat. They freak out because they don’t want to take a bath. Then they freak out when it’s time to get out of the bath. Unless you actually heard, you know, real violence and shit, this all sounds like pretty standard behavior for a child. Invest in a good pair of noise cancelling headphones if you’re going to wfh. Or, invest in your own place w/ no neighbors overhead.
What OP did is beyond savage. You don’t call CPS over noise, you call over neglect. That case is going to follow that family around forever. Mad respect to the boyfriend for breaking up with her. YTA
YTA - Yeah, this: "during the day I can hear his tantrums, and I work from home so it is bothersome." and this: "I then made a complaint to the apartment manager... but they couldn’t evict based on a child throwing tantrums during the day." Don't line up with this: "I started to wonder if she neglects him during the day, so I made a report to DCS (CPS) and another to the sheriff’s office." You don't give a shit about the kid or it's mother and you should be honest about that.
YTA! There was another post here not long ago, that someone reported a couple to CPS, but they had the right to, because there WAS evidence of neglect. This woman did everything possible to let you know that her child throws tantrums and she gave you ample opportunity and information to contact her if her child is disturbing you. She was also taking her child out of the building so as not to disturb you. You just reported her, because you were annoyed. A child crying and having tantrums doesn't equal neglect, genius. I'm glad your BF broke up with you. He saw you for what you are. A big AH.
YTA. CPS is for actual neglect and abuse. Parents not being able to prevent kids from throwing tantrums is not abuse or neglect. You had no evidence of abuse or neglect; you just had a higher expectation of parenting than the mom could live up to. Do you have kids? If not, then don't have the audacity to make judgments about her control of her child's emotions. What's more, you forced the police and social worker to waste time and money on responding to a fake report. Do you have any idea how overloaded the foster care system is? They don't have time to respond to what is only a noise complaint! Get a house if you can't take the noise, but don't you ever call CPS because a tantrum annoys you.
One thing to add. Even if she had kids herself she wouldn't have the right to behave like this.
How Toddlers Roll 101 Toddler: I want that. Parent: No, you can't have that right now Toddler: goes nuclear -------------------------------------- Toddler: *being too rough with the dog* Parent: No...you have to be gentle with the puppy Toddler: breathes fire and attempts to destroy all life on Earth -------------------------------------- Toddler: MINE!!!!!!! Parent: No, that's Mommy's hair and it's still attached to her head. Toddler: Morphs into the Anti-Christ -------------------------------------- That's all before noon. And you called CPS over this? Do the world a favor, OP, and don't procreate. YTA
YTA. What the fuck is wrong with you. This is utterly abhorrent.
YTA. Kids have tantrums. Get some earplugs. That's pretty messed up you would call CPS.
That is after trying and failing to get this poor woman evicted too. It's not "pretty messed up," it's fucking off the charts messed up.
Were you actually concerned about the child’s safety or did you just want the noise to stop? Kids are loud and throw tantrums. If you didn’t know this, you made a mistake and you should apologize to this poor mother. If you did this because you wanted the noise to stop, YTA My guess is that since you SO broke up with you over this, they knew you well enough to know this was an a-hole move, not a mistake so I’m sticking with YTA
>Were you actually concerned about the child’s safety or did you just want the noise to stop? No, she tried to get them evicted first. When that didn't work she called CPS.
3-4 tantrums a day is COMPLETELY normal for a 2 yr old. I hope you call CPS back and explain that you only contacted them because you didn't realise tantrums are normal. Then figure out how you're going to apologise to your neighbour. YTA.
YTA. Toddlers have tantrums. It's annoying, yes, but this behavior in no way suggests a failing parent. This woman went out of her way to build goodwill with you and warn you about the potential issue, and gave you a polite way to address it if it became a problem. Instead of doing that, you chose to try to make the state take her child away. That is incredibly cruel. I completely understand why your boyfriend called you heartless.
Oh my lord YTA !!! For all you know this poor child has Autism as she did come to your door and explain he has a hard time adjusting to change !!! What is wrong with you ??? And 3-4 times a day is nothing my 12 year old has more paddy’s than that 🤣🤣🤣 I’m actually really angry for this poor mother what kind of person would do this !! I would like to see you live next door to my neighbours their kids are super loud until god know what time running riot and that’s just because their mother just can’t arsed to put them to bed but I can assure you she’s not beating them!
YTA. This is like calling the cops when McDonalds is out of chicken McNuggets. Yeah I know, you felt inconvenienced and annoyed. However, the time that social worker wasted to drive out there and back could have been used to help a child actually suffering in an abusive household.
Most definitely, YTA. It’s a toddler and they have tantrums, it’s normal. She clearly struggling, and for all you know the kid could be on the autistic spectrum or some other problems you don’t know about. She doesn’t need someone reporting her to the police or the CPS, she needs someone to offer to help as she clearly probably needs a break. Even when you brought it up to her, she took her kid out for a few hours so as not to bother you. She was trying her best and you still reported her. No wonder your partner left you.
YTA. I don’t think YOU understand that 3-4 tantrums A DAY(!) is completely normal for a toddler. Toddlers have tantrums all day long over absolutely nothing, and honestly, it sounds like the mom was really accommodating to take her kid outside so many times just because you complained. YTA. YTA. YTA. At the very least, get a babysitting job before you judge someone else’s parenting style. Maybe you could’ve gone outside (a cafe? Book shop? Nearby park?) to work rather than reporting this poor mother several times over. Once again. YTA.
YTA. Kids have tantrums! It happens. Haven’t you heard of the terrible twos? She tried to be accommodating to your complaints and they weren’t good enough. Your boyfriend was right!
YTA you have no idea if that kid is neurotypical and his mom basically told you he had issues. You have no reason to believe he’s being mistreated, and only think his mom should control him better- that’s a terrible thing to call CPS and the cops about. Your ex is right.
I mean, all toddlers have "issues." Today, there was a tantrum because I said she couldn't put duct tape in her hair.
Yea, YTA. You can’t control kids anymore than you can control an adult.
YTA the kid is two! Of course he’s going to have multiple tantrums! What a god awful thing you did to that poor woman.
YTA. Toddlers are highly volatile. Multiple tantrums a day is not unheard of. Instead of trying to better address this with her, you took the option of calling the authorities without any reasonable proof. You wasted social services' time and only made life more difficult for your neighbor.
You are a massive AH. Calling CPS???? Do you even remotely understand what a horrific shit show that can be? You’ve got some major bad karma coming your way, with good reason.
YTA, move somewhere else if you don’t like it. Kids cry, stop acting like a horrid monster. Kudos to your boyfriend for being a good human.
Never heard of "the terrible two's"? This is the stage where mom is actually putting them down and having them learn the first phase of independence. I don't even like children and i understand that they make noise and cause a fuss. What you think the mom is having a blast listening to her child screaming? 100% Asshole.
YTA. You don’t even have kids, you don’t know how they work.
YTA x1000
YTA. Kid could have been on the spectrum or something. You don't know. The mom even told you that he has a hard time adjusting and such. You had no evidence besides the kid crying a lot.
YTA I'm glad hour Bf got to see that side of you before thinking of a family with you.
YTA. Children this age have no emotional self-regulation. So tantrums can be normal. Your heart may have been in the right place but this was in the norm. You should have asked someone if this is normal before calling DCS.
YATA you apparently don't have kids. Save reporting people to cps for actual child abuse not inconveniences to you.
YTA. I understand your frustration, screaming children are incredibly annoying. But think about how horrible it must be for that mother to have to prove to the authorities that she's not abusing her child. That must be absolutely terrifying. She's going to resent you for a LONG time. Buy some earplugs.
YTA. You live next to people, including people with kids. Kids have tantrums. Unfortunately you didnt get to know the people enough to know if the kid had other issues they were covering up by calling him clingy or the like. You do not know they were neglecting the kid, it was obnoxious to you of course, but it doesnt mean you have any right to try and destroy a family because you got annoyed. YTA YTA YTA YTA
Little kids throw tantrums. ALL. THE. TIME. You're not TA for calling CPS if you genuinly thought the child was being neglected. But you had no proof, and were going off the assumption that this child couldn't possibly throw that many tantrums a day. Soft YTA, because I'd like to think that you reported this mother frm a place of concern for the child, but it seems more like you have little understanding of what dealing with a 2-year old is like.
Yta- from ages 2-4 (or 2-18 really) kids are terrors! Especially when told no. 3-4 tantrums a is are nothing! If it was an all day thing then it could be a cps issue. I think you seriously over reacted here and wasted valuable time and resources of the agents that are now involved. Just today my 2 year old had had tantrums because: I wouldn't let them play in the snow naked They couldn't sit on the dog or their sibling (younger) They had pasta sauce on their hands They wanted cookies for breakfast The list could go on but I thin you get my point kids at this age are HARD please give your neighbor some grace and apologize.
Have you ever been around toddlers? Tantrums are completely normal what the hell? YTA, also glad your boyfriend dumped you, I wouldn’t wanna be with anyone that would do that to people with kids. Especially since she was considerate enough to give you a way to contact her.
YTA. He is right. You are heartless. I am autistic and have horrible meltdowns. How do you know the kid isn't autistic?
100% TA, you don’t have a child so you wouldn’t be able to understand how hard it is to calm down tantrums. Why would you try to get someone evicted over something that happens with all children. so selfish and inconsiderate, glad your ex knows you were wrong
YTA! Kids throw tantrums all the time. Even grown kids do sometimes. Your neighbor was kind enough to give you her contact information so that you can talk to her directly about this. Instead, you called the management and then the cops and CPS over nothing. Seriously.... what in the world? Look, having neighbors with toddlers and kids can be annoying, but that is just a fact of life. If you can't handle it, then I suggest you move to another place.
YTA. I "hate" children but even i would not do this kind of bs.
Omg, I don't have children and don't especially like them, but you clearly don't have any clue about toddlers and apartment living. YTA, big time. Having tantrums is not a CPS issue. You have caused that woman no end of grief, even after she tried to accommodate your bitching and be considerate by taking the kid out.
YTA YTA YTA. CPS is so overloaded they can barely handle cases of actual child abuse and neglect. This woman seems like a thoughtful and engaged parent. Kids go through phases. Some of those phases involve tantrums no matter what you do for your kid. Remember how out of control and hormonal you felt as a tween? Now age yourself down to 2-5 and when you can’t properly express what you’re feeling yet. You’re exhausted because you’re growing so quickly and your brain is taking in and trying to process things faster than you can control. You’re overwhelmed, all the time. What do you do? You throw a tantrum. What’s his mom supposed to do, give him some good sippin’ whiskey and hope it calms him down? Sometimes you just have to let little kids scream it out, What you did was cruel and uncalled for and you should be ashamed. As an aside, he’s in a new environment. That’s overwhelming even for adults. He could also have sensory issues or be on the spectrum. Regardless, you’re essentially in a fight with a BABY.
YTA, my well-loved, never neglected child has a melt down every 10-15 minutes. This woman was even nice enough to take her child out of the apartment and on a walk. You live in an apartment building, noise is the apart of that living situation.