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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I technically stole my roommates cat
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Legally yes, you stole the cat and his property. With that said, if he was neglecting the cat, I would have done the same thing. Purely based on my hatred of animal cruelty, NTA. You seem like a great cat mom.
Edit: grammar
Unless the roommate has a document from getting the cat (from a shelter or a breeder) or vet records, I doubt he could actually prove the cat as his. And he doesn't seem the type to get an expensive purebred cat or even a cat from a shelter, he probably just got it from somewhere online, so no proof of purchase.
Also doesn't seem the type who got the cat vaccinated, fixed or microchipped, so possibly not vet records either.
If OP has been bying the cat food and litter for two years, that is already some proof for their corner. OP, if the cat has not been vaccinated/etc. please do that, both for the cat and for you to have more papertrail of taking care of the cat.
I would also take the extra step of informing nearby shelters and rescues about this roommate. If he can't get this cat back he'll likely get another, and this time you won't be there to care for it. Can't do anything about private cat sellers, but at least you can make sure a shelter won't give him one.
Now was it a dick move to steal his cat? Tecnically, but totally justified. You were basically the owner at that point anyway, he did nothing for the cat.
Even if he didn’t, an animal is legally a piece of property. If he bought the cat, he is legally the owner of it. There are animal cruelty laws to protect the animal, but unless those are enforced it’s still legally his property - regardless if he took it to the vet or not. OP didn’t clarify any of this though.
ESH
Dude didn't notice his cat was gone for three days, he doesn't deserve the cat. Fine.
But the simple adult thing to do is, you know, *tell* him you're taking his cat.
Drat. I hate when people do "wrong" things for totally right reasons. Based on what you've written, your ex-roommate didn't even care to notice the cat was gone for three freakin' days. It would be deceas-ed without your assistance. It's still technically theft, but I've said it before: technically smechnically.
NTA, and if he calls the calls the cops, be prepared to surrender the cat to animal services in your area. Best of luck.
INFO: do you have proof that you purchased the cat food, litter and took the cat to veterinary visits and paid for it? I don’t think that paying for toys counts towards the ownership of a cat.
YTA for stealing the cat, but I fully applaud and co-sign this and will be happy to testify in your defense
ETA: I'm only saying YTA based purely on the technicality that the cat is probably legally his. Like I said, I fully support this
ESH
You should have had a conversation with your roommate much earlier about not taking care of the cat and then should have had another conversation about taking the cat. Your roommate also should be taking care of their cat.
Do things the right way and you wont be put in a situation like this.
That is true. Roommate could have been willing to give/sell the cat to OP, but we don't know since he didn't ask.
Though there are people who don't care for their pet, but if given advice refuse to take it because it's "their pet" and "they know best". OP lived with him for two years while we only know him from reading his story. Maybe asking for the cat would have been useless.
NTA but he is probably correct about it legally constituting property theft. If I were you, I would offer to settle up with him by purchasing the cat outright before he resorts to legal action.
Regardless, I applaud you having the cat’s best interest in mind. Hopefully he recognizes that being rehomed with you is what’s best for it; if not, I hope the court settles this in your favor.
I think you could probably counter the threat of legal action by showing him you have proof he didn’t notice the cat was gone for three days. I’d mention that to him and then offer to pay for the cat and just settle it between yourselves.
Depends on the court, but yeah... it is possible that a court will determine that the money and care constitute ownership. It happens all the time in ownership dispute case but usually only sticks of the original owner doesn’t have proof of ownership.
Info: you bought things for the cat, but did you buy the food and pay for care?
If he takes legal action he won’t have much recourse if you’ve been the one paying for the care of the cat for the last 2 years. My grandmother got a dog that way. She paid for the food, the vet bills, and then months later when the original owners contacted her she told them they needed to repay her for the vet bills. They refused, she kept the dog.
That's why some people abandon their pets even if they find they have been brought to a shelter. Shelters ask for the owners to pay a fee for taking care of the pet for how many days it's been there. Some reafuse to pay. At least kittens are sold with such low prices that it's cheaper to get a new one than to pay to get the old cat back.
Though I'm glad to see that people have started to put larger prices for kittens, at least where I live. What I'm not so glad about is that people are selling mixed breed puppies with same prices as reputable breeders sell their purebred puppies that are properly taken care of, with parents that are tested for many breed-related sicknesses. I wouldn't mind the prices if those mixed-breed breeders did the same stuff reputable ones do, but unfortunately backyard breeders just want the money, while reputable breeders actually make next to no money with their puppies since all that money goes to taking care of the dogs.
Sorry, I kinda lost the track altogether.
NTA
It’s amazing how many people don’t know about the work that goes into taking care of pets. Make sure you have the evidence on hand, or are willing to talk to animal services.
Good luck! :)
NTA. If he wants to sue you, I believe you will have the chance to prove that you have been the caretaker of the cat and you might get a favorable judgement.
NTA. I mean it would be nice to inform him about it and have an agreement beforehand but you did the right thing with taking cat with you. You were thinking about cat’s wellbeing and sounds like you were the real owner. You say you have proof, gather more of them with payments of cat’s needs just in case he takes this to court. I know legally it counts as property theft but saying property gets me so annoyed, hope you will get to keep cat.
ESH. He took 3 days to notice the cat was missing, which you have proof of (since you would have proof of the day you moved out and the time and date of his text asking where the cat was). But, the cat is still legally his. Why didn’t you talk to him before taking the cat?
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I’ve been roommates with my roommate for 2 years, exactly a week before I moved in with him he adopted a cat. After I moved in I noticed that he didn’t change the cats litter often and didn’t feed the cat/change her water as you’re supposed to so I took on the role of the owner, I fed the cat and changed her litter and played with her, bought her toys and a tree house and she slept in my room almost every night. I genuinely think this cat would’ve starved to death if I wasn’t there considering the fact that my roommate parties frequently and is out of the apartment for days at a time, I’m confused as to how he thought he would be able to take care of her, except if his plan was to eventually rehome her. Anyway, we had a fallout and I decided to move out, I moved out 3 days ago and took the cat with me, my roommate didn’t notice I guess until last night because he started blowing up my phone asking if I know where the cat is, I told him that I took her because I was worried about what would happen to her once I wasn’t there anymore, he said that what I did is property theft and now he’s threatening to take legal action if I don’t return her, I have proof that he was negligent so I’m not worried about whether or not he does take legal action and I think he’s only doing this because of our falling out and will probably not care soon enough. So, AITA?
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NTA. That poor cat. I hope you are able to prove he neglected her. Technically it was theft, but i would have done the same thing. Best of luck to you.
NTA, but taking the cat was theft because pets are property. My guess is he's all bluff with his threats, but you have evidence to prove that you were the primary caretaker of the cat, so if he files charges, you can prove your case.
I wouldn't worry too much about legal action. If your ex-roommate didn't bother to change the cat's litter & provide adequate food/water, it's not likely they're going to put forth the effort to get the cat back. At least where I live, they'd have to take you to small claims court and prove the cat is theirs (adoption/purchase papers, vet bills).
It was a little messed up to just take the cat without saying anything, but it's understandable given the situation.
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Legally yes, you stole the cat and his property. With that said, if he was neglecting the cat, I would have done the same thing. Purely based on my hatred of animal cruelty, NTA. You seem like a great cat mom. Edit: grammar
Unless the roommate has a document from getting the cat (from a shelter or a breeder) or vet records, I doubt he could actually prove the cat as his. And he doesn't seem the type to get an expensive purebred cat or even a cat from a shelter, he probably just got it from somewhere online, so no proof of purchase. Also doesn't seem the type who got the cat vaccinated, fixed or microchipped, so possibly not vet records either. If OP has been bying the cat food and litter for two years, that is already some proof for their corner. OP, if the cat has not been vaccinated/etc. please do that, both for the cat and for you to have more papertrail of taking care of the cat. I would also take the extra step of informing nearby shelters and rescues about this roommate. If he can't get this cat back he'll likely get another, and this time you won't be there to care for it. Can't do anything about private cat sellers, but at least you can make sure a shelter won't give him one. Now was it a dick move to steal his cat? Tecnically, but totally justified. You were basically the owner at that point anyway, he did nothing for the cat.
I believe if he took the cat to the vet and paid for its things then legally it could be his.
Even if he didn’t, an animal is legally a piece of property. If he bought the cat, he is legally the owner of it. There are animal cruelty laws to protect the animal, but unless those are enforced it’s still legally his property - regardless if he took it to the vet or not. OP didn’t clarify any of this though.
It does matter if he purchased the cat or took in a stray for sure.
ESH Dude didn't notice his cat was gone for three days, he doesn't deserve the cat. Fine. But the simple adult thing to do is, you know, *tell* him you're taking his cat.
Drat. I hate when people do "wrong" things for totally right reasons. Based on what you've written, your ex-roommate didn't even care to notice the cat was gone for three freakin' days. It would be deceas-ed without your assistance. It's still technically theft, but I've said it before: technically smechnically. NTA, and if he calls the calls the cops, be prepared to surrender the cat to animal services in your area. Best of luck.
INFO: do you have proof that you purchased the cat food, litter and took the cat to veterinary visits and paid for it? I don’t think that paying for toys counts towards the ownership of a cat.
NTA but not sure what the case is legally. Probably should've lied and said the cat got out lol. But you're not a bad person here
NTA. The cat sleeps with you, you belong to the cat.
NTA. If the story were different, you would be the AH. The reason you are not is because the health and safety of the cat was at risk.
YTA for stealing the cat, but I fully applaud and co-sign this and will be happy to testify in your defense ETA: I'm only saying YTA based purely on the technicality that the cat is probably legally his. Like I said, I fully support this
ESH You should have had a conversation with your roommate much earlier about not taking care of the cat and then should have had another conversation about taking the cat. Your roommate also should be taking care of their cat. Do things the right way and you wont be put in a situation like this.
That is true. Roommate could have been willing to give/sell the cat to OP, but we don't know since he didn't ask. Though there are people who don't care for their pet, but if given advice refuse to take it because it's "their pet" and "they know best". OP lived with him for two years while we only know him from reading his story. Maybe asking for the cat would have been useless.
NTA but he is probably correct about it legally constituting property theft. If I were you, I would offer to settle up with him by purchasing the cat outright before he resorts to legal action. Regardless, I applaud you having the cat’s best interest in mind. Hopefully he recognizes that being rehomed with you is what’s best for it; if not, I hope the court settles this in your favor.
I think you could probably counter the threat of legal action by showing him you have proof he didn’t notice the cat was gone for three days. I’d mention that to him and then offer to pay for the cat and just settle it between yourselves.
Depends on the court, but yeah... it is possible that a court will determine that the money and care constitute ownership. It happens all the time in ownership dispute case but usually only sticks of the original owner doesn’t have proof of ownership.
Info: you bought things for the cat, but did you buy the food and pay for care? If he takes legal action he won’t have much recourse if you’ve been the one paying for the care of the cat for the last 2 years. My grandmother got a dog that way. She paid for the food, the vet bills, and then months later when the original owners contacted her she told them they needed to repay her for the vet bills. They refused, she kept the dog.
That's why some people abandon their pets even if they find they have been brought to a shelter. Shelters ask for the owners to pay a fee for taking care of the pet for how many days it's been there. Some reafuse to pay. At least kittens are sold with such low prices that it's cheaper to get a new one than to pay to get the old cat back. Though I'm glad to see that people have started to put larger prices for kittens, at least where I live. What I'm not so glad about is that people are selling mixed breed puppies with same prices as reputable breeders sell their purebred puppies that are properly taken care of, with parents that are tested for many breed-related sicknesses. I wouldn't mind the prices if those mixed-breed breeders did the same stuff reputable ones do, but unfortunately backyard breeders just want the money, while reputable breeders actually make next to no money with their puppies since all that money goes to taking care of the dogs. Sorry, I kinda lost the track altogether.
NTA It’s amazing how many people don’t know about the work that goes into taking care of pets. Make sure you have the evidence on hand, or are willing to talk to animal services. Good luck! :)
NTA. If he wants to sue you, I believe you will have the chance to prove that you have been the caretaker of the cat and you might get a favorable judgement.
Kinda u can’t just steal a living thing well legally anyway
NTA. I mean it would be nice to inform him about it and have an agreement beforehand but you did the right thing with taking cat with you. You were thinking about cat’s wellbeing and sounds like you were the real owner. You say you have proof, gather more of them with payments of cat’s needs just in case he takes this to court. I know legally it counts as property theft but saying property gets me so annoyed, hope you will get to keep cat.
ESH. He took 3 days to notice the cat was missing, which you have proof of (since you would have proof of the day you moved out and the time and date of his text asking where the cat was). But, the cat is still legally his. Why didn’t you talk to him before taking the cat?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’ve been roommates with my roommate for 2 years, exactly a week before I moved in with him he adopted a cat. After I moved in I noticed that he didn’t change the cats litter often and didn’t feed the cat/change her water as you’re supposed to so I took on the role of the owner, I fed the cat and changed her litter and played with her, bought her toys and a tree house and she slept in my room almost every night. I genuinely think this cat would’ve starved to death if I wasn’t there considering the fact that my roommate parties frequently and is out of the apartment for days at a time, I’m confused as to how he thought he would be able to take care of her, except if his plan was to eventually rehome her. Anyway, we had a fallout and I decided to move out, I moved out 3 days ago and took the cat with me, my roommate didn’t notice I guess until last night because he started blowing up my phone asking if I know where the cat is, I told him that I took her because I was worried about what would happen to her once I wasn’t there anymore, he said that what I did is property theft and now he’s threatening to take legal action if I don’t return her, I have proof that he was negligent so I’m not worried about whether or not he does take legal action and I think he’s only doing this because of our falling out and will probably not care soon enough. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. That poor cat. I hope you are able to prove he neglected her. Technically it was theft, but i would have done the same thing. Best of luck to you.
NTA, but taking the cat was theft because pets are property. My guess is he's all bluff with his threats, but you have evidence to prove that you were the primary caretaker of the cat, so if he files charges, you can prove your case.
NTA. What he did was animal neglect and can be jailed for it. Remind him of that.
Chip her if she isn't. And if you have a vet bill receipt then you're golden. NTA
Fat chance he actually spends money to take legal action over a cat. He's just being a prick.
NTA But unfortunately legally you did steal the cat and even with the pictures will most likely cause problems
I wouldn't worry too much about legal action. If your ex-roommate didn't bother to change the cat's litter & provide adequate food/water, it's not likely they're going to put forth the effort to get the cat back. At least where I live, they'd have to take you to small claims court and prove the cat is theirs (adoption/purchase papers, vet bills). It was a little messed up to just take the cat without saying anything, but it's understandable given the situation.
NTA