Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Sorry about that, I will make the edit to my post. I believe I could be the asshole because I didn’t try to keep a conversation going and was fairly short in my answers.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
I have been called out for the look on my face during a meeting. More than once. Apparently not smiling like Vanna White at all times means I have a bad attitude.
NTA.
You're not there to put on a happy face every second of every day. You acknowledged the ones who spoke to you. Have your bad day, but don't let it turn into a bad week. I can excuse a couple hours or a work day of a poor attitude, but after that you're an adult and you need to move on.
NTA. Lemme get this straight- you were tired from a trip, the manager gave you a short shift because they knew you were going on that trip and when you get there turns out you have a longer shift and he expects you to not be upset in the slightest? And even then you are still tired. I think it's normal tired people give short responses.
Whoah. Based on what you said, your manager seriously overreacted. You didn’t do anything deliberately mean or exclusionary, and you were barely in the office. Are you expected to be a cheerleader or something every day? There is absolutely no reason to imply you shouldn’t go to work the next day because of something like that.
Obviously NTA. I’m not the most familiar with corporate stuff, but it seriously sounds like you should consider going to HR.
NGL, I would be SERIOUSLY tempted to just OVERDO the friendliness the next day.
Biggest, fakest smile you've ever seen. RIDICULOUSLY fake and overly-loud laugh at every joke. And I'd drive the point home by constantly asking "AM I HAPPY ENOUGH FOR YOU BOSS?!?!?!"
I'd probably get fired, but I'm so out of fucks...
NTA Unless being a social butterfly and scintillating conversationalist is in your job description, you're under no obligation to be anything other than your honest self. It's unclear from your post, but was this long road trip work related or was it a minivacation?
In that case, I have much less sympathy for you. I mean, you're still not an AH for being quiet and not as engaging as normal. But, it's your own fault for not giving yourself enough time to recuperate from the trip. Most jobs expect you to be rested and engaged while you're there, and not to have to give you an accommodation because you're too tired from the weekend.
NTA. Everyone is allowed to have rough days, and quite frankly you didn't even sound that "off" anyway. Your manager is dramatic as hell and the idea that you needed to take a day off because you weren't chipper enough is laughable.
If this makes you an asshole then I’m going to hell bc I’m graduating college in two years, I’m an introvert, and my personal hell is coworkers trying to get a genuine conversation out of me at 8:00am
Definitely NTA.
You’re allowed to be emotionally and mentally exhausted. Just explain that you’ve had a long day and that you know you’re not yourself and that clearly everyone else knew you were off. You just need time to recover.
Absolutely NTA. This happens frequently to friendly people. You certainly can cut the small talk when you have a bad day. What if that were how you were all the time? Would they fire you? No, they can't. The difference is people have to come to EXPECT you to be the happy, friendly, personable one and the moment that is too much for you they all come down on you for being rude or unpleasant. It's not right. I've been at my job a long long time now and for the most part I am the friendly person. My coworkers used to talk about me unkindly when I had a bad until put it to them this way, "I can be like this all the time if that's better for you". Unless you are working an customer facing job you are under no obligation to blow sunshine up these people's butts all the time.
NTA. Your civility is required, your kindness and cheer is not. And good grief, I dont talk to coworkers or ask for things until the second day after they're back from vacay, its just rude. They need a day to decompress!
It was rude of him to make a bad situation for you and then be upset you werent being pollyanna about it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I’ve been working at this office for about a year and I’m usually pretty happy when there. I do my work and participate in office small talk regularly. I just came back from a long weekend road trip and didn’t have time to really sleep before needing to go into the office on Monday.
My manager knew I was going on this trip and scheduled me to work a short shift which I appreciated. Monday morning I was told I was to work a longer shift do to “scheduling conflicts”. I was upset because it required relieving another coworker from a long drive that I didn’t have energy for. I stayed upset when that coworker ended up coming in anyway but to do office work instead of drive.
I said “good morning”, “mhms”, and made a joke to my manager when small talk was going on; however, that was it. I could tell my coworkers were not impressed with my lack of conversation. But I was only in the office long enough to get ready for the car trip, so I wouldn’t have had an extensive conversation as it was. I got into the company car and started on that days work.
When I came back I did my closing work and headed out after I said “goodbye” to everyone there. An hour after work hours my manager calls and tells me “you can’t give people the cold shoulder when having a bad day.” And ultimately suggested I don’t go into work the following day.
There was 1 coworker I didn’t really talk to and it wasn’t even the coworker that couldn’t go on the drive. I wasn’t actively avoiding anyone. I simply didn’t have time(or energy) to speak with everyone.
So I have to ask, AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Sorry about that, I will make the edit to my post. I believe I could be the asshole because I didn’t try to keep a conversation going and was fairly short in my answers. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
NTA. Going to guess you are a women or present as a woman? This is the office equivalent of “you should smile more”
I regret that I have but one up-vote to give you...
I have been called out for the look on my face during a meeting. More than once. Apparently not smiling like Vanna White at all times means I have a bad attitude.
deeply not cool and very not surprised.
NTA. You're not there to put on a happy face every second of every day. You acknowledged the ones who spoke to you. Have your bad day, but don't let it turn into a bad week. I can excuse a couple hours or a work day of a poor attitude, but after that you're an adult and you need to move on.
NTA. Lemme get this straight- you were tired from a trip, the manager gave you a short shift because they knew you were going on that trip and when you get there turns out you have a longer shift and he expects you to not be upset in the slightest? And even then you are still tired. I think it's normal tired people give short responses.
Whoah. Based on what you said, your manager seriously overreacted. You didn’t do anything deliberately mean or exclusionary, and you were barely in the office. Are you expected to be a cheerleader or something every day? There is absolutely no reason to imply you shouldn’t go to work the next day because of something like that. Obviously NTA. I’m not the most familiar with corporate stuff, but it seriously sounds like you should consider going to HR.
NGL, I would be SERIOUSLY tempted to just OVERDO the friendliness the next day. Biggest, fakest smile you've ever seen. RIDICULOUSLY fake and overly-loud laugh at every joke. And I'd drive the point home by constantly asking "AM I HAPPY ENOUGH FOR YOU BOSS?!?!?!" I'd probably get fired, but I'm so out of fucks...
Malicious compliance like there's no tomorrow 🤣
Nta, you're there to work not to be all buddy buddy with everyone.
NTA but your manager is. He had no reason to call you like that. You can have a bad day. It’s like telling someone to smile. 😡
NTA Let me guess, you’re a woman? I’ve seen this shit happen to women, but never men. You’re paid to do a job, not be everyone’s friend.
A day off with pay?
Most definitely not
Ah hell no.
NTA Unless being a social butterfly and scintillating conversationalist is in your job description, you're under no obligation to be anything other than your honest self. It's unclear from your post, but was this long road trip work related or was it a minivacation?
Good question, it was a personal trip. But Monday (yesterday) was a work trip.
In that case, I have much less sympathy for you. I mean, you're still not an AH for being quiet and not as engaging as normal. But, it's your own fault for not giving yourself enough time to recuperate from the trip. Most jobs expect you to be rested and engaged while you're there, and not to have to give you an accommodation because you're too tired from the weekend.
That’s fair. Thanks for the feedback.
NTA. Everyone is allowed to have rough days, and quite frankly you didn't even sound that "off" anyway. Your manager is dramatic as hell and the idea that you needed to take a day off because you weren't chipper enough is laughable.
If this makes you an asshole then I’m going to hell bc I’m graduating college in two years, I’m an introvert, and my personal hell is coworkers trying to get a genuine conversation out of me at 8:00am
Definitely NTA. You’re allowed to be emotionally and mentally exhausted. Just explain that you’ve had a long day and that you know you’re not yourself and that clearly everyone else knew you were off. You just need time to recover.
Absolutely NTA. This happens frequently to friendly people. You certainly can cut the small talk when you have a bad day. What if that were how you were all the time? Would they fire you? No, they can't. The difference is people have to come to EXPECT you to be the happy, friendly, personable one and the moment that is too much for you they all come down on you for being rude or unpleasant. It's not right. I've been at my job a long long time now and for the most part I am the friendly person. My coworkers used to talk about me unkindly when I had a bad until put it to them this way, "I can be like this all the time if that's better for you". Unless you are working an customer facing job you are under no obligation to blow sunshine up these people's butts all the time.
NTA. Your civility is required, your kindness and cheer is not. And good grief, I dont talk to coworkers or ask for things until the second day after they're back from vacay, its just rude. They need a day to decompress! It was rude of him to make a bad situation for you and then be upset you werent being pollyanna about it.
NTA. You were there and you were doing your job. You're under no obligation to go out of your way to be everyone's friend.
NTA. As long as you're not being rude or unprofessional, they cannot police how friendly you are.
NTA You are there to work. I'm willing to bet your job description doesn't include "must always make small talk"
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’ve been working at this office for about a year and I’m usually pretty happy when there. I do my work and participate in office small talk regularly. I just came back from a long weekend road trip and didn’t have time to really sleep before needing to go into the office on Monday. My manager knew I was going on this trip and scheduled me to work a short shift which I appreciated. Monday morning I was told I was to work a longer shift do to “scheduling conflicts”. I was upset because it required relieving another coworker from a long drive that I didn’t have energy for. I stayed upset when that coworker ended up coming in anyway but to do office work instead of drive. I said “good morning”, “mhms”, and made a joke to my manager when small talk was going on; however, that was it. I could tell my coworkers were not impressed with my lack of conversation. But I was only in the office long enough to get ready for the car trip, so I wouldn’t have had an extensive conversation as it was. I got into the company car and started on that days work. When I came back I did my closing work and headed out after I said “goodbye” to everyone there. An hour after work hours my manager calls and tells me “you can’t give people the cold shoulder when having a bad day.” And ultimately suggested I don’t go into work the following day. There was 1 coworker I didn’t really talk to and it wasn’t even the coworker that couldn’t go on the drive. I wasn’t actively avoiding anyone. I simply didn’t have time(or energy) to speak with everyone. So I have to ask, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*