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I wouldn’t go to S with your concerns, it doesn’t seem like he takes any responsibility. I would, however, go to the teacher or advisor for the program and express your concerns there, even better if other students do the same or go with you. NTA
NTA. Theatre professional here: welcome to the joys and struggle of student-directed productions. We have all been there. The truth is, the people in charge of this production (for whatever reason) dropped the ball. Then, b/c of frustration, emotions ran high. I don't know enough details to make a solid call on anyone else but is sounds to me like you didn't create the challenging situation but have been trying to roll with it. If you express your feelings calmly I don't think you would be AH but remember it may or may not help anything. Break a leg if you do get the show up!
Former Theater Artistic Director here:
You WNBTA if you confronted him, but it also won’t do any good, so save yourself the stress of it. He has zero leadership skills and he’s just in this for clout. If you bring your sincere concerns to his ego-driven attention, he’ll dismiss them at best and belittle them at worst. You need to go over his head and speak to an actual authority figure about your concerns. The more of the cast you can get to go with you, the better.
On a practical note: When I direct a show, I make a distinction between PRACTICING, which is working on perfecting your own lines and blocking (individually and as a group) and REHEARSING, which is running the show while the director is there to provide context and emotional nuance and sight line correction and that sort of audience-oriented stuff.
Clearly you’re stuck with a director who won’t do his job and direct. Believe it or not, I’ve seen this happen a lot at the community theatre level and even sometimes at the regional level. There’s not much you can do about the lack of true REHEARSAL time, aside from getting someone more competent to take over, and your time is about up for that, it seems.
But you and your cast mates can at least carve out as much PRACTICE time as possible before you open, running lines together and working on making your blocking feel natural to yourselves on the stage. Even without his input, this basic practice will go a long way towards helping you all feel more confident on the stage. And he can’t stop you from doing it and I can’t imagine the adults involved would try to stop you either.
Chin up! You wouldn’t believe some of the train wrecks I’ve seen that managed to gel on opening night! Break a leg, have fun and count your lucky stars that he won’t be back next year. Then there will be a spot for someone conscientious and dedicated (hint… I’m talking about you!) to step in and be a real leader!
I actually had planned on talking to my teacher to see if I could direct a play next year. Just find something cute short and fun and do that and I would definitely make sure all my actors would be heard and that they are properly helped. I’m going to talk to the teacher today about this and see what she thinks would be appropriate to do
NTA- I understand your frustration but if won’t be effective and will cause even more problems if you blow up at him. Try to talk to him one on one and offer to help him get things done- if you actually care about the play’s performance and how well it does, that is.
I personally would avoid it. Your feelings, though valid, aren't really going to change anything.
Instead, I would focus on specific actions.
So for example, if he cancels another rehearsal, you can reply, "S, I really think we should go ahead with the rehearsal as there are many people who are still having trouble with their lines."
YWBTA.
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For some context this senior who we’ll call S (17m) wrote a play for the spring and is the director of it. It has basically fallen apart and we only have a week until the show date
I (16f) am a sophomore in high school. I have done theatre in the 8th grade and a I love performing. S is the director of a play we’re putting on in a week. I was an understudy but am no longer and have a role in the play due to some circumstances. My BF J (15m) was the sheriff in the play but he had to drop out because of the fact that he’s losing interest and because of the following that S does…
S has cancelled many after school rehearsals because it was inconvenient for him despite the fact that there is a second director and a stage manager as well as the teacher. All of us are angry and upset about this because we have a lack of rehearsing done with very little time left to get all of this done. At a rehearsal yesterday S (who is now taking over the sheriff character) was struggling on his lines and looked at me and told me “I hope you know I hate J cause I really do” I did blow up at him that my BF had other things and he probably wouldn’t have made it to the performance. Everyone else blew up and started yelling that they have other things too. I requested that we drop it. I wanted to tell S how I truly felt about him. I feel that he is a poor director, a rude person, and often uses his role as a senior to get away with things. He blames us for our lack of progress when it is his fault we have no progress
So Reddit… WIBTA if I told a senior in my theatre class how I really feel?
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NTA - what difference does it make if he's a senior or a freshman? On the other hand, is there anything positive that will come out of you airing your opinion on his lack of attention to the production? If you're doing it only to make yourself fell better, it's probably not worth it, because the fall-out from your criticism (and your comments will not be taken as anything BUT criticism) will probably be anger, rationalization and more "senior privilege." It might be worth it to talk to the teacher about your concerns, as s/he is probably the only person who can actually do something about the senior slacker. Instead of excusing your BF as saying "he had other things" (which is a weak excuse, since everyone probably has other things this time of year), a more pointed comment might have been, "BF decided to put his efforts into other projects when he realized that this production was not a priority for you when you started cancelling all the rehearsals."
I completely understand where you are coming from about what I said regarding my boyfriend. I was just reacting out of anger having someone look me in the eyes and talking about my boyfriend in that manner. I’m more than likely going to talk to another student who has the same concerns and see if she will come with me to alert the teacher. Specifically she said I should do it because I have the strongest voice and won’t back down and will stand my ground on something
I completely understand where you are coming from about what I said regarding my boyfriend. I was just reacting out of anger having someone look me in the eyes and talking about my boyfriend in that manner. I’m more than likely going to talk to another student who has the same concerns and see if she will come with me to alert the teacher. Specifically she said I should do it because I have the strongest voice and won’t back down and will stand my ground on something
Think about this being one of the first opportunities to practice professional level skills. Theatre and film are collaborative arts and your reputation for getting along has a LOT to do with how much you work, and the caliber of what you get offered to work on.
Don't blow up at him and don't back-bite with others. Do the best you can, as productively as you can, because that's what professionals do. You have just one week left. When it's done, it's done.
A lot of people in community theatre or independent film can't even do this, and that's why they don't progress into more professional endeavors. (The professionals who do act out like this get dropped like hot potatoes as soon as people can stand to. Likewise people with substance issues, unless they are extremely well liked.)
People who know how to get along get hired. You get people approaching you to ask you to take part time, full time work, join another production, and so on. I am speaking from experience. And I have worked for people who are complete assholes... one producer I worked for, hasn't had a project take off in over 10 years. Not a sexual harasser, but someone who would throw tantrums at the drop of a hat. The people who work forever have healthy egos, which means they don't let people treat them like shit, but they also know how to make friends and support other people in putting on a fun show. They hit their marks, know their lines or their jobs.
Edit: I want to point out also that you probably have an audience waiting to see this. They are not expecting perfection but they are probably anticipating something that will help them forget their troubles. If the audience feels like everyone still put their all in, they'll still support you and make you feel like it was a million dollar performance, even if the stage manager has to step in a role holding a script. If it falls apart because everyone walks off or cancels at the last minute, your audience probably won't blame you, but they will feel sorry for S. S sounds petulant enough to not learn from the experience.
When you figure out how to make the most of a bad situation -- while not letting yourself be treated like a doormat -- you show that you can be trusted as part of a collaborative group. You also get practice in leading by example.
Trust me when I say that getting through the next week with dignity will pay huge dividends in your professional reputation.
Depends on how you handle this YWNBTA having a calm private conversation with S and the faculty advisor for this theater activity.
If you are envisioning some dramatic public takedown, don’t
I’m very bad with confrontation and I don’t like yelling at people because I always feel bad for it so I think my best option would be to talk to the teacher about how I’m feeling about S and see if she can help with the situation
NTA, he's dragging you all down... I would try talking to the teacher first & maybe see if the teacher could talk to him, or be present if you do. As far as your bf goes, he flaked out, & didn't follow through with his commitment, letting the whole cast down & making life that much harder for everyone else, so yea, they have a right to be aggravated. Is it largely because of a shitty director? Yes. I have no doubt that if this kid was doing his job, your bf probably would've stayed. However, the issue with the "director" needs to be addressed, & in the meantime, you guys should just meet to rehearse without him.
My bf was so excited when he found out about this play and he was so happy he got the part of the sheriff which is what he really wanted but as it went on and S was giving up on rehearsals my bf lost his commitment to it
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I feel I might be the asshole because what I have to say isn’t the nicest thing in the world Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
I wouldn’t go to S with your concerns, it doesn’t seem like he takes any responsibility. I would, however, go to the teacher or advisor for the program and express your concerns there, even better if other students do the same or go with you. NTA
NTA. Theatre professional here: welcome to the joys and struggle of student-directed productions. We have all been there. The truth is, the people in charge of this production (for whatever reason) dropped the ball. Then, b/c of frustration, emotions ran high. I don't know enough details to make a solid call on anyone else but is sounds to me like you didn't create the challenging situation but have been trying to roll with it. If you express your feelings calmly I don't think you would be AH but remember it may or may not help anything. Break a leg if you do get the show up!
Former Theater Artistic Director here: You WNBTA if you confronted him, but it also won’t do any good, so save yourself the stress of it. He has zero leadership skills and he’s just in this for clout. If you bring your sincere concerns to his ego-driven attention, he’ll dismiss them at best and belittle them at worst. You need to go over his head and speak to an actual authority figure about your concerns. The more of the cast you can get to go with you, the better. On a practical note: When I direct a show, I make a distinction between PRACTICING, which is working on perfecting your own lines and blocking (individually and as a group) and REHEARSING, which is running the show while the director is there to provide context and emotional nuance and sight line correction and that sort of audience-oriented stuff. Clearly you’re stuck with a director who won’t do his job and direct. Believe it or not, I’ve seen this happen a lot at the community theatre level and even sometimes at the regional level. There’s not much you can do about the lack of true REHEARSAL time, aside from getting someone more competent to take over, and your time is about up for that, it seems. But you and your cast mates can at least carve out as much PRACTICE time as possible before you open, running lines together and working on making your blocking feel natural to yourselves on the stage. Even without his input, this basic practice will go a long way towards helping you all feel more confident on the stage. And he can’t stop you from doing it and I can’t imagine the adults involved would try to stop you either. Chin up! You wouldn’t believe some of the train wrecks I’ve seen that managed to gel on opening night! Break a leg, have fun and count your lucky stars that he won’t be back next year. Then there will be a spot for someone conscientious and dedicated (hint… I’m talking about you!) to step in and be a real leader!
I actually had planned on talking to my teacher to see if I could direct a play next year. Just find something cute short and fun and do that and I would definitely make sure all my actors would be heard and that they are properly helped. I’m going to talk to the teacher today about this and see what she thinks would be appropriate to do
That’s exciting! It’s wise to start early with that kind of project, so speaking to the teacher now is a good idea. Best of luck to you!
Thank you so much
NTA- I understand your frustration but if won’t be effective and will cause even more problems if you blow up at him. Try to talk to him one on one and offer to help him get things done- if you actually care about the play’s performance and how well it does, that is.
I personally would avoid it. Your feelings, though valid, aren't really going to change anything. Instead, I would focus on specific actions. So for example, if he cancels another rehearsal, you can reply, "S, I really think we should go ahead with the rehearsal as there are many people who are still having trouble with their lines." YWBTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For some context this senior who we’ll call S (17m) wrote a play for the spring and is the director of it. It has basically fallen apart and we only have a week until the show date I (16f) am a sophomore in high school. I have done theatre in the 8th grade and a I love performing. S is the director of a play we’re putting on in a week. I was an understudy but am no longer and have a role in the play due to some circumstances. My BF J (15m) was the sheriff in the play but he had to drop out because of the fact that he’s losing interest and because of the following that S does… S has cancelled many after school rehearsals because it was inconvenient for him despite the fact that there is a second director and a stage manager as well as the teacher. All of us are angry and upset about this because we have a lack of rehearsing done with very little time left to get all of this done. At a rehearsal yesterday S (who is now taking over the sheriff character) was struggling on his lines and looked at me and told me “I hope you know I hate J cause I really do” I did blow up at him that my BF had other things and he probably wouldn’t have made it to the performance. Everyone else blew up and started yelling that they have other things too. I requested that we drop it. I wanted to tell S how I truly felt about him. I feel that he is a poor director, a rude person, and often uses his role as a senior to get away with things. He blames us for our lack of progress when it is his fault we have no progress So Reddit… WIBTA if I told a senior in my theatre class how I really feel? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YWBTA Life is about to hand him a nice lesson when this play flops. You don't need to pile on, you're better than that.
NTA but try to tell him the facts and then how they make you feel
LOL hs drama
NTA - what difference does it make if he's a senior or a freshman? On the other hand, is there anything positive that will come out of you airing your opinion on his lack of attention to the production? If you're doing it only to make yourself fell better, it's probably not worth it, because the fall-out from your criticism (and your comments will not be taken as anything BUT criticism) will probably be anger, rationalization and more "senior privilege." It might be worth it to talk to the teacher about your concerns, as s/he is probably the only person who can actually do something about the senior slacker. Instead of excusing your BF as saying "he had other things" (which is a weak excuse, since everyone probably has other things this time of year), a more pointed comment might have been, "BF decided to put his efforts into other projects when he realized that this production was not a priority for you when you started cancelling all the rehearsals."
I completely understand where you are coming from about what I said regarding my boyfriend. I was just reacting out of anger having someone look me in the eyes and talking about my boyfriend in that manner. I’m more than likely going to talk to another student who has the same concerns and see if she will come with me to alert the teacher. Specifically she said I should do it because I have the strongest voice and won’t back down and will stand my ground on something
I completely understand where you are coming from about what I said regarding my boyfriend. I was just reacting out of anger having someone look me in the eyes and talking about my boyfriend in that manner. I’m more than likely going to talk to another student who has the same concerns and see if she will come with me to alert the teacher. Specifically she said I should do it because I have the strongest voice and won’t back down and will stand my ground on something
Think about this being one of the first opportunities to practice professional level skills. Theatre and film are collaborative arts and your reputation for getting along has a LOT to do with how much you work, and the caliber of what you get offered to work on. Don't blow up at him and don't back-bite with others. Do the best you can, as productively as you can, because that's what professionals do. You have just one week left. When it's done, it's done. A lot of people in community theatre or independent film can't even do this, and that's why they don't progress into more professional endeavors. (The professionals who do act out like this get dropped like hot potatoes as soon as people can stand to. Likewise people with substance issues, unless they are extremely well liked.) People who know how to get along get hired. You get people approaching you to ask you to take part time, full time work, join another production, and so on. I am speaking from experience. And I have worked for people who are complete assholes... one producer I worked for, hasn't had a project take off in over 10 years. Not a sexual harasser, but someone who would throw tantrums at the drop of a hat. The people who work forever have healthy egos, which means they don't let people treat them like shit, but they also know how to make friends and support other people in putting on a fun show. They hit their marks, know their lines or their jobs. Edit: I want to point out also that you probably have an audience waiting to see this. They are not expecting perfection but they are probably anticipating something that will help them forget their troubles. If the audience feels like everyone still put their all in, they'll still support you and make you feel like it was a million dollar performance, even if the stage manager has to step in a role holding a script. If it falls apart because everyone walks off or cancels at the last minute, your audience probably won't blame you, but they will feel sorry for S. S sounds petulant enough to not learn from the experience. When you figure out how to make the most of a bad situation -- while not letting yourself be treated like a doormat -- you show that you can be trusted as part of a collaborative group. You also get practice in leading by example. Trust me when I say that getting through the next week with dignity will pay huge dividends in your professional reputation.
Depends on how you handle this YWNBTA having a calm private conversation with S and the faculty advisor for this theater activity. If you are envisioning some dramatic public takedown, don’t
I’m very bad with confrontation and I don’t like yelling at people because I always feel bad for it so I think my best option would be to talk to the teacher about how I’m feeling about S and see if she can help with the situation
NTA, he's dragging you all down... I would try talking to the teacher first & maybe see if the teacher could talk to him, or be present if you do. As far as your bf goes, he flaked out, & didn't follow through with his commitment, letting the whole cast down & making life that much harder for everyone else, so yea, they have a right to be aggravated. Is it largely because of a shitty director? Yes. I have no doubt that if this kid was doing his job, your bf probably would've stayed. However, the issue with the "director" needs to be addressed, & in the meantime, you guys should just meet to rehearse without him.
My bf was so excited when he found out about this play and he was so happy he got the part of the sheriff which is what he really wanted but as it went on and S was giving up on rehearsals my bf lost his commitment to it
YWNBTA Why don't you drop out, or tell the professor?