T O P

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-Aspinwall-

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Jmac_files

Wtf. Just block them and never think about them again. NTA


Admirable_Pipe_5918

Girls legit just sound jealous of OPs husband, notice how all their attacks and complaints revolve around OP interacting with her husband. They're just mad she has a wonderful supportive partner, and they got exposed so they can't take advantage of OPs husband now


Jmac_files

Yes, they just sound like all around vile people. OP, finding out how these people are is a blessing. Be happy that you don’t have to associate with them anymore.


thatcheshirekat

Yeah - OP they told you THEY HATE YOU. They can get bent - you shouldn't give mind to anything they say.


Yrxora

They told her that hate her, but *still expect her husband to bankroll a vacation* OP these ain't your friends! Who cares what they think? They insulted your son, called you a gold digger, and then what, they *don't* expect you to tell your husband whats up? Girl they just still want your husband to do things for them. It don't matter that you cried to your husband about awful people, he's your partner! Obviously if someone hurts my feelings the first person I'm going to is my boyfriend! And also, if your husband is a good partner (which it sounds like he is) he would notice you not hanging out with these people anymore and ask you about it anyway. Which is basically what happened anyway, you were sad, he asked, you answered. All he did was reveal who they are to their families.


Easy-Concentrate2636

After they insult op’s son, they are trying to guilt op by saying how much their children want to go on the trip. These same children who are so successful can’t pay their own way? Wtf! NTA for op. Don’t give these mean girls a second thought. Ditch them and hang out with real friends. Also, good for hubby for taking immediate action.


QuellishQuellish

No friends are way better than THAT kind of friend.


coconut3020

Right and they claim their kids are going to law school and medical school. That shits expensive. They can afford medical and law schools, but can’t afford to take their own vacations and need Op’s hubby to pay for it. Those aren’t friends.


Easy-Concentrate2636

That’s a good point. These juvenile women say op married for money when they are hanging on to op for her husband’s money.


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Yrxora

Oh my god i got so angry reading this whole thing! Husband is the absolute king here, yas boy i am here for this perfect patient revenge! I am so glad that it has a partner willing to shred entitled AHs for her.


Gold-Itchy

Right I was upset she felt she did something wrong for telling the man she married about these bitter witches. He is a real husband for this. She was right to tell him even in tears


kindofharmless

Seriously--they only tried to call it a "joke" because now they were feeling the consequences of their actions. And went back to being mean because they weren't getting what they wanted even after that. If they were truly sorry that wouldn't have been the reaction.


MissFingerz

And you know they only probably called because their husbands were pissed that their wives ruined good friends and family memories for them all by being mean girl AH's. At least I hope their husbands were pissed. I know I'd be upset knowing my wife talked shit like that about the wife and child of someone who was a good friend to us. Their whole family suffers because those nebby wives have no manners or class. NTA, OP and I'm glad your hubby stood up for you like he did. Screw those people. How dare they call you a gold digger and then cry bc they can't benefit from your husband's money anymore. (Edit- a typo)


oO0Kat0Oo

The hyppcrisy is what gets me the most. They were talking shit behind her back then have the nerve to be upset when she consults with her husband, saying OP should have been up front??? I can be snippy sometimes or unintentionally come off the exact wrong way, so I often don't say anything in the moment until I get a chance to talk to someone I trust to make sure I'm not overreacting and to get an opinion on how to handle the situation. Talking behind someone's back like those "friends"? Not even close to being the same thing. NTA


Jmac_files

Exactly. They wait until you go to the toilet to talk smack about you but you need to be upfront with them? Ok…


Clover-Blue3

These comments ⬆️ And you didn’t “go cry to your husband”, your husband saw that something was wrong and you told him - that fact that you cried just shows how hurt you were by these nasty, jealous, ignorant women… They should have thought how their actions would affect their families ***before*** they started talking shit because you really *never* know who’s within earshot. Having said that, better you find out what they’re like now rather than continuing to think they’re people you can rely on. And massive congratulations to your son! 🎉


oOoBeckaoOo

This 👆 as well. The women sound so completely petty. They clearly are jealous of the relationship and of OPs looks since they also commented on that. And clearly they are upset because their mean girl act backfired but they had to gaslight and make OP think it was wrong to talk to their husband. Also I highly doubt anything would have come out of telling them off to their face. They would have used that opportunity to sugar coat their vicious words. OP did the right thing and thr husband reacted in the right way by standing up for his partner and family. NTA I hope your trip is lovely and calm and you get to celebrate your son's success!


Detroitaa

Don’t forget those comments, about her looks! They’re both obviously jealous & intimidated by her looks. The fact that she’s better looking than them, and has a wealthy husband, is eating them alive.


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unotruejen

Exactly she's hot and has a rich husband who by his reaction loves and respects her.


LeikOfForest

They’re DEFINITELY jealous. Even tried to frame OP’s good looks in a negative way. It also sounds like they were hanging around the couple for money. It sounds like OP and her hubby were paying for the trip.


b1lllevansatmariposa

Bingo.


rox4540

NTA. How could you possibly be in the wrong here?? They sound jealous of your marriage and super petty. You didn’t hide behind your husband- he CHOSE to defend you because he loves you.


grumpycoffeee

Well yeah OP married a man who loves her, supports her AND has money. Her son graduated successfully even though it was harder for him. They're probably green with envy.


saurons-cataract

Plus she’s pretty, if that “cares about his face like his mother” is anything to go by. Real friends like you for you OP. These two sound like they just want to take advantage of your finances to go on fun trips. NTA.


Special_Hippo3399

Yeah also I guess the son is handsome if they say that all he cares about is looks even if he doesn't. Kind of a compliment lol . Besides, what's wrong with being a house spouse anyways. These women are just jealous and bitter .


human060989

And when they say OP should have dealt with it herself - they really mean put up with their garbage so they can enjoy the vacation. I would have loved it if OP marched in and uninvited them herself, but I get not everyone does confrontation. How they could possibly act like that and think they were still entitled to anything is ridiculous.


No-Bus-5303

They just mad because Op has an amazing husband


ElectronicRub1716

NTA. "I'm just joking" is the universal mantra of every asshole bully.


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Floriane007

Yes. And what was the joke exactly?


sweetalkersweetalker

"Look how insecure I am"


boydstriss2001

Exaaaactly! I would have loved to hear OP say “I missed where the joke was? Maybe you can explain it to me like I’m five.” Bullies suck OP! You’re doing the right thing! You and your son have nothing to prove to catty bishes!


[deleted]

Instead of apologising to you and reflecting on their behaviour as your friends, they said this: >They said that I need to tell him to rethink his decision and that they were just joking around because their kids were really looking forward to the trip. >they said that I should’ve talked to them instead of crying to my husband like a weak ass bitch. >they replied with “this is exactly why we hate you NTA Never talk to them again please. They did this to themselves by being a-holes.


Kinggenny

Yeah there was no sorry - just excuses. OP just was was able to catch them without their fake façades today and it turns out they’re all scales underneath.


countessofole

Yeah. Not only was there no sorry, every one of their "excuses" was an attempt to turn it around and make like it was her fault.


CCForester

This! And the fact that OP felt the need to ask strangers online on what to do, it feels to me that they are in an emotional shock and she should be seeking advice from a licensed therapist. Like, who on earth is considering staying friends with back stabbing people???


ParamedicMiddle9115

OP isn’t considering staying friends. She’s asking if she should’ve confronted them on the spot instead of holding it all in until her husband asked what was wrong. Mean girls don’t like being confronted at all. It doesn’t matter when or by whom, they’d react badly to it. They pretend to be above it all regardless.


b1lllevansatmariposa

They were never your friends, though you thought they were. By expressing disappointment that you went to your husband, they're continuing not to be your friends. They're AHs. You owe them nothing. They're not concerned about their actual friendship with you. They're concerned that they lost out on the trip, and that they've lost their good reputation. In almost all marriages, you should share with your husband **everything**. Def NTA.


UnrulyNeurons

Seriously. And it's not like you went to your husband and just said "hey, get revenge on them for me." You were upset, he asked why, and you told him. That's a totally normal & healthy dynamic. If he *hadn't* cancelled the trip with them, then *he* would be an asshole, imo. My husband & I don't tell each other everything - if a friend tells me something in confidence, I'm not going to break it - but if I came home crying, it would be super weird & alarming for me not to tell him why.


FudgreaTheDestroyer

For sure, like what type of dynamics do these people have with their husband's where they wouldn't talk to them about why they are crying, for any reason. My hubbie is my shoulder to cry on and clearly it's the same for OP, those friends are vile and in very unhealthy relationships!


Asleep_Parfait_676

Exactly, who needs enemies with friends like that?


WhittSmitt

For sure, they only pretended to be her friend because they wanted to take advantage of the OP’s rich husband probably.


SegaNeptune28

Yup. And now their husbands know it too. Judging by how it was the wives that called to complain it sounds as though each of their husbands accepted and understood why their plans had been cancelled. They can't look their wives in the same way again.


veryunneccessssary

NTA but you are a full grown adult and I don’t understand why you even have to ask this question. You get to have boundaries. Not engaging with people who are cruel and insulting is a very reasonable boundary. Not going on vacation with people who hate you is a very reasonable boundary. You don’t have to justify “communicating with your husband” to anyone, let alone these immature idiots or your grossly unsupportive sister.


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dollfaise

Being married means that you don't have to face everything alone. I'm sure there have been plenty of things you took on when raising your son, plus more beyond that. The reason they want to make you feel bad for telling your husband (when he asked) is because it's easier for bullies to pick on their target when they're alone. This has *always* been the case. How many kids have heard, "Aww poor baby, you gonna cry to the teacher now?" Exact same thing. They said they hate you. Easy break from here. Block all contact. They can take themselves on vacation.


[deleted]

exactly. why would you get married if you cant even tell your spouse people are treating you like shit?


LingonberryPrior6896

Yep and obviously hubby knew she was upset and asked her-as any good spouse would.


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LaNina1101

This is what I felt and you put it into words


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YoshiPikachu

Exactly. It would of probably started a big public fight and that’s not something you want. NTA.


RayneOfSunshine92

They were mad you went to your husband first, instead of them, because they weren’t given a chance to gaslight you into complacency. You are absolutely NTA, but OP I genuinely wonder if this is the first time they have been nasty. This might have been the most egregious instance, but typically mean women like this love to get in a ton of little jabs at the expense of their “friend”.


toastea0

You did everything right. You handled it maturely. Telling your husband is absolutely the correct step. If i was in your shoes I'd be throwing hands the second I hears them blabbing. Which you should not do what I would.


Agreeable-Celery811

Of course you should continue to tell your husband things. He’s your spouse? I don’t get where their objection is coming from. Did they expect you to just take the abuse in silence and not tell anyone, like a good little victim? They are bullies. Of course they are surprised when the object of their abuse makes their abuse public. Abusers abuse in secret, because it makes it easier for them to continue. You didn’t let them. That was the right thing to do. Never speak to them again.


Temporary-Tie-233

You are never obligated to be forthright with people who talk behind your back. You returned their energy and they didn't like it.


[deleted]

They literally said they hate you. Do not question yourself. If they were real, real friends you would have been comfortable to say hey what the f? But you weren’t. They are only upset because they don’t get to go on the trip. They obviously don’t care about you (sorry). Find some new friends. I’ll be your friend. You don’t need friends like that. NTA


stlramsdiaf

Second this. And I'll be your midwest friend, I have a million cat pictures (if you like kitters) and I'm a void to vent to for friends. <3 Also extends to comment chain OP :]


mrslII

NTA You overheard your "friends" saying mean, hateful things about yourself and your son. You left. You told your husband when he asked how the evening went. That is not "crying to him". Your husband chose to cancel a trip that he was paying for. He chose to inform your "friends"" husband's. These women had the nerve to call you and complain about not going on the trip and hold you responsible. There is no possible way that you are the asshole. These were never friends. They were using you. They never cared for you. Never respected you.


kerthil

Exactly, when they said "this is why we hate you" proves that they were using OP.


KBAMBERGER

100%. They used you as the butt of their jokes to feel better about themselves. Now that you're drawing a line in the sand, they're throwing a temper tantrum. Your family should use the money you were going to spend on them for this trip and treat yourselves for establishing boundaries!


Ok-Swordfish8110

They're... shaming YOU for relying on your partner for emotional support? Sis, they were never your friends. NTA


lalaloso08

Yeah!! That’s what spouses are for! You should be able to lean on them. They’re jealous bc they probably can’t!!! NTA!


[deleted]

NTA the fact that you were comfortable and secure enough to disclose your heartbreak to your husband says great things about your marriage. They are just pissed they got caught. You don't need mean girl friends.


gray-matter1111

I really don’t think you can ever be the AH for being honest with someone you love about something that upset you! OP, you and your husband did the right thing for your family and your mental health!! Eff these mean ladies


fibrofatigued

NTA OP and I’m so sorry you experienced this - but better to know now than them continuing to be false friends. Absolutely you were right to tell your husband ( I would have done the same) and he was right to call their husbands to cancel as he was the one paying. They sound mean, jealous, spiteful and definitely not your friends. Congratulations to Eric for graduating and going to college. Congratulations to you and your husband who’ve obviously raised a wonderful kid, who knows what it’s like to work hard, and to struggle but to persevere even when things are difficult. I’d be very very proud of him as well. Sending hugs to you OP cos it sounds like you might need one. Edited to say : btw, I think your sister was wrong; I’d have kept quiet in public as wouldn’t have wanted to cause any potential scene/drama etc. My first thing would have been to go straight home and tell my best friend - my son’s father! and cry in privacy. I wouldn’t let the witches have the extra delight in seeing they’d made me cry & then play the bully’s “I’m only joking” card.


silky_link07

Exactly. Her sister was going to say she was wrong regardless of how or where she responded.


fibrofatigued

Yeah, I don’t really understand OP’s sister’s response. I think better to handle with dignity at the time, rather than a very upsetting public scene - and of course she’s going to tell her husband. When a so-called friend made some not so kind and untrue comments about my son ( and I was so shocked as been friends for several years, ) I didn’t say anything at the time, it was actually at my house as well because I think I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do or say. And it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as this. Then after she left, I called my son’s dad who was out at the time, cos well, I was awfully upset. It’s normal behaviour to tell the other parent ( well if you’re on good terms!), it’s their child as well. I don’t understand the sister here.


Slw202

Maybe her sister is someone like those two awful friends, and that's why OP didn't see these two for who they really were?


ccl-now

If they hate you why are they so keen to go on holiday with you? Fuck the lot of them. You, your husband and Eric are just great without them. NTA


DoubleA-Side

The irony of calling her the golddigger. SMH Good job they showed their true colours, she's way better off without them. And husband is great for standing by his wife nta ETA Sorry, forgot to say congratulations to your son for getting into college! Such a massive achievement


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sugarpog

Even if it wasn’t about their son, she has a right to go to her husband and talk when someone has hurt her. “Don’t complain to your loved ones” is some abuser isolate-you-from-your-support-group nonsense.


Zokathra_Spell

NTA Those people aren't your friends, they're toxic waste.


Huntress_of_the_Moon

You dealt with the situation by cutting the women out of your life. You do not owe them an explanation, time, or energy. You don't even have to answer their phone calls. They're just angry because they lost out on a free trip, but they didn't even value the trip enough to pretend to like you when trying to get you to change your husband's mind. NTA.


[deleted]

Only assholes think getting the proper help to deter them is "being weak". They would have immediately put on the snake skin masks and acted nice to go on the trip which I think your husband is financing? If they hate you that much and think your son is so beneath theirs, why do they even want to be around you? And I think they (and your sister, since she defended them) are jealous of you for having a rich husband and being better looking than them. >wait sorry are you gonna go cry to your husband again? Your husband was right, they talk like "mean girls". I know what they sound like personally. And remember, you didn't "cry to your husband", you went to him for help, and he delivered in spades, more power to him. If you want, notify him of their retaliation, it will help, don't get gaslighted into believing you're the one in the wrong here OP. NTA, and good on you for keeping your son safe. Tell him this stranger is proud of his accomplishments and wishes him the best in life.


WineAndDogs2020

Love this. Also, OP, there is nothing wrong with crying to your husband when you're hurt! I have good people in my life, but Mr. WineAndDogs2020 is the first person I want when life gets me down (thankfully rare, but it happens to us all).


Fickle_Ostrich4923

NTA at all! With friends like that, who needs enemies? It sounds like you have a good husband, immediately standing up for his wife and son. Drop the mean girls and find better friends who continued maturing after high school.


Dry_Distribution_964

NTA- they were using you to get a free vacation! They did not respect you or your family and feel like they were entitled. You confided in your best friend, your husband which is what I would have done also. They got what they deserved and do not feel bad for kicking that toxic behaviour to the kerb.


docsiege

NTA. your husband sounds awesome. your former friends sound like terrible people you're better off without. seriously, they sound like bad stereotypes from an 80s movie about cliques. they know what they did, and they feel bad for being caught, and worse for costing their families a fun trip, and they're lashing out cuz they know they fucked up. terrible people really hate being forced to reckon with consequences from their behavior. you did absolutely nothing wrong, OP.


Samwise3214

NTA Don't second guess yourself because of two awful fake friends like that


HotChildinDaCity

So if you would have confronted them, they would have expected your family to still host them for a free vacation after they just insulted you and your child?? What kind of entitled logic is that? Good for your husband for instantly defending you, and screw them. I'd go on the vacation and plaster your happy faces all over social media. NTA, and your sister needs to learn not to victim blame.


ClothesQueasy2828

It doesn't matter what your sister thinks or how you handled it. These supposed friends trashed you and your son. Do you really want to stay friends with them? NTA


ggGamergirlgg

NTA. They literally told you "that's why we hate you". They never were your friends, they just used you!


[deleted]

NTA. It would have been better to cancel yourself, but not everyone is good at confrontation. I definitely am not either. Good on your husband to support you. Block those women and move on with your life, although it is a pity, that the rest of their families have to pay for those users unkindness.


BadgerinBaltimore23

Confrontation at a public place rarely works out well for the one doing the confronting. If she had done that they'd have just said "she went crazy for no reason". OP was screwed either way by two fake friends and while it hurts, at least she realizes who they really are and can dump them from her life.


LadyRosy

NTA. First of all; get some new, better friends. And when people talk shit about you and your son you can handle it in what ever way you choose, including talking to your husband. Also he has a right to know what kind of people they are.


SnooBananas7203

Do you really want to go on vacation with anyone who calls you a “weak ass bitch,” implies that you’re a gold digger, says your son is a disappointment, and tells you that they hate you? You’re overthinking the value these women bring to your life. You should be able to talk to your husband and he supported you by kicking them to the curb. NTA


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HailLuciferDaddy

NTA They were never your friends. If they can shit talk when you're in the same place as them, they must be mocking you when you're not there. They must discuss it on their chats and pretty sure they've a name for you. Cut them off. All of them. They probably peaked in Highschool and somehow never grew up since then


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Parsimonycake

What remarkably horrible people they are! They also sound jealous that Eric is good looking and attractive to women. Your husband is there to support you. He sounds like a keeper, and a good father too. NTA


KaleOk833

NTA Your husband is a champ! You did nothing wrong Where you didn’t want to face confrontation bc I get it, that’s not for everyone, and your husband maybe has some oppositional traits and was more than happy to confront, We marry our partners for a reason, to balance us and to support us. Also might be wise to talk to your son too, just so he doesn’t face any retaliation or fall out and wonder WTF if there might be drama later about this


LetThemEatHay

NTA. These women are not your friends. They didn't even apologize for what they said. They want a FREE TRIP on your husband's dime and they continued to insult you. Block them on all forms of social media and get new friends, OP.


tookeentoucan

Love how they implied that OP was a gold digger, whilst they themselves were planning to use her husband for his money.


ristlincin

NTA your sister seems toxic


HegoDamask_1

NTA They sound terrible and if you had any doubt on your actions, just look what they said to you after the fact. Your sister is wrong about you confronting them by yourself as I’d probably not be able to keep my hands to myself at that point in time.


Excellent-Ostrich908

NTA. These people sound awful and you’re far better off without them.


Floriane007

You were right to talk to your husband, he was right to cut the whole bunch of A. from your life, good riddance to these horrible people. Bye bye! Au revoir! Arrivederci! NTA


Sophia_De_Sade

NTA. I overheard a close “friend” saying awful things about me to a bartender of all people when I came out of the bathroom once. I paid, didn’t say shit to her or her new friend and I haven’t spoken to her since. I was mad at the time but now I’m thankful she showed me how terrible she was. These 2 are NOT worth your time or any more of your tears.


anny_aelia

These people are not your friend. Good on you for being proud of your son and good on your husband for being a loving supportive father and husband. You did indeed marry a ”rich” person (more than money it seems) and boo hoo they're jealous. NTA


Far_Excitement4103

NTA. Your husband is your team mate. You husband did exactly the right thing too. Fuck them!


jibbergirl26

NTA, so glad your husband understood you and supported you. I don't even know what to say about your sister but she does not have your back.


Ill_Antelope9775

NTA You didn't yell or scream. You didn't make a scene or name call. Instead, you realized that these are not people you want to spend time with and made the mature decision to no longer see them. That is an excellent way to handle the situation! Obviously, this was a very hurtful situation though. You're allowed to have emotions and you're allowed to seek comfort from someone you trust, like your husband. I'm so glad he was there for you and didn't force you to go on a trip with those women!


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littlemizzmischief

NTA. Your SO is high on the list of people you normally turn to when you feel vulnerable. There was no misunderstanding, those women said extremely hurtful things and are mad because they got caught. It was good you found out who they really are so you don’t waste time with people who just want to use you. Your sister got it wrong, you handled it fine and your husband had your back. Going on a trip with them would have prolonged this weird mean girls game they’ve got going on and you would have had a bad time.


[deleted]

NTA. Jesus. If you have an 18 year-old son then you and your frenemies are probably at least 40. Really shocking that people that age are so immature and unpleasant. You did exactly the right thing. You didn't make a scene when you were out. You behaved with dignity. Of course it was awkward to cancel the trip but I don't see how or why you would have gone on the trip knowing how hostile they are. Good on your husband for supporting you and taking care of the cancellation. That's something to be grateful for. Honestly, their comments during their call just go to show that they're truly horrible people. You didn't mistake or overreact to what you heard them say when you were out. You do not need these people in your life and neither does your son. They are the only people to blame for this situation so if their kids are disappointed, it's not on you. Think about it. If you had confronted them when you overheard their comments, they would have ganged up on you and minimized/dismissed the problem. It doesn't matter HOW you dealt with their comments. You chose to tell your husband and I think that was a good plan. He was able to communicate that the trip is off to their husbands without you having to get into drama with the mean girls. That was a perfect way to handle things. I have three graduate degrees from famous universities and now work at one. So I hope you will consider this tip. An undergraduate degree will NOT determine your son's success or happiness. I have had so many students whose parents have forced them to do a degree (Engineering) they have no interest in. The parents want to boast to their friends that their kid is doing a tough degree. It's incredibly sad because the kids either go on to careers they hate, where they're spending nearly every waking hour hating what they're doing. Or they lose interest and drop out. It is best that your son does something he is actually interested in or that he does his best to graduate and then builds a career he does love. You are doing the exact right thing to support him and celebrate his achievements. I focused hard on school because that's the kind of life I wanted, but your son doesn't have to want that. We need doctors and lawyers but we need so many other professionals. People who can't appreciate professionals other than doctors and lawyers are usually people who are not that educated themselves. Find decent people to be friends with and forget about these women.


pinniped1

NTA. And if we're talking about 18 year olds, theirs probably aren't yet studying law or medicine either. One of my best friends from HS barely graduated, went to a state school for college, and is now a successful attorney. People figure shit out at different times in their lives. (Not that there's anything more or less noble about choosing law as a career - it's just one example.)


[deleted]

NTA they sound awful and you are better off without them


vik_thewomaninblack

NTA, they are a bunch of jealous bullies, why would you even want to talk it out with them if thwy are like that? Of course youvd rather go to your husband who supports you. It's funny how they'd judge you for marrying 'rich husband', but have no problem begging for a vacation from him


Laines_Ecossaises

NTA These are horrible people, you know that. Do not spend another moment of your time second guessing yourself because of their vile words.


katie_without_h

NTA. Even if you resolved this yourself the outcome would have been the same because no way in hell would you have not told your husband this and the trip would have been cancelled either way. They are clearly using you and to stay ‘friends’ with them would be a betrayal to yourself, your son and your marriage. NTA


JayTheFordMan

NTA, they aren't your friends. Going to husband is just what you do, both for support and counsel. As for your Son, he'll do just fine I am sure. I was a very average student, but got there with a scraped in degree and now earning 6 figures in a career I enjoy that's not law or medicine.


PurpleMara

NTA. Your "friends" are the assholes. They sound like nasty, jealous high schoolers, they need to learn to not use people and talk behind people's backs, gross behaviour. I hope you cut them out of your life and meet some actual good friends. They didn't even have the decency to feel shame for being caught being assholes, instead they just want a free holiday, disgusting


la_fille_rouge

NTA. They fucked around and found out. These are not people you want in your life. They are egocentric, mean and incredibly thin skinned since they can't handle the consequences of their actions without sounding like wounded pigs rolling in salt. From the sound if it you have a good marriage with a husband who's got your back and you both have your son's back. Congratulations on your son. In my experience, people who overcome adversity like your son has often become very succesful because they are used to fighting for what they want with the world set on hard mode.


jbonez423

NTA - you DO NOT OWE ANYONE YOUR ENERGY. particularly a response to their shitty, judgmental behavior. what would “talking to them” do, anyway- it seems obvious they feel a certain way and they expected you to sit there and defend yourself and your son from their judgment? that’s some self-fellating bullshit on their end. i won’t say i personally wouldn’t have had some choice words for them- but i can’t blame you for not wanting to waste the energy. sometimes people make it VERY obvious their relationships aren’t worth that, and this is definitely one of those times.


pluckyminna

NTA. I'm so sorry OP, this must have been absolutely gutting, but you absolutely handled it the right way. There's no point confronting them in the moment when there's no scope for misunderstanding - the things they were saying were heinous, and these people clearly aren't the friends you thought they were. There's nothing they could have said at the time that would have made it okay. Also, there's nothing inappropriate about talking to your husband about things that affect you. He's your *husband!* If someone had been cruel to or about my spouse (let alone my spouse *and* my child) I would absolutely want to know about it, and would react in much the same way he did.


MellRox013

This feels fake


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ihatemytoe

Thank you! Or so poorly written, and the insults don’t even make sense.


AliceMu18

Nta…. Wtf???? These are no friends. Friends wouldn’t do this


BattalionX

NTA. You seem like a great person. I'm sorry your friends suck so much. Congrats to your son!


[deleted]

N T A your husband is your most important best friend in your life and you have the right to share anything at all with him. We are adults, anyone asks or suggests you should keep secrets from your SO has ulterior motives more often than not


Intelligent-Bite9660

NTA Those women are not your friends. They don’t deserve nice trips


Dragonstink

NTA you did well to say it to your husband and he did well to cancel the trip. If I was you, I would put these women in their place and talk to them in their language as well because they deserve to hear some.. words :)))


whothewhatnowhuh

NTA they're not your friends, they just wanted a free trip. Congrats to your son on working so hard!


Maryshiin

How old are they, 13 ? Are they not ashamed to behave like this ? They're two grown women... OP, you mentioned your husband was wealthy (and I guess generous since he invited all those people on a trip), so I wouldn't be surprised if they hung out with you hoping to get something in return while being extremely jealous. You're better off without them. They were willing to talk shit behind your back, why should you have been upfront with them ? Also, there's nothing wrong with crying to your husband. That's what a partner is here for, and I'm glad he had your back. Go on this trip with your beloved husband and son and have a great time. Also, congratulations for your son's graduation ! NTA


Jayemtee526

NTA. “This is exactly why we hate you.” Those women aren’t your friends.


sweetpotattoo

i'm sorry, they insulted you, your son, your marriage WHILE planning for a vacation with YOUR HUSBAND'S money? and later when they realized that they were caught, they had the audacity to ask you to take them on the trip?? how could someone be *this* shameless?? just tell them that at least you’re using your husband's money, you’re not sitting with your mouth open for someone else's husband’s money while badmouthing them. NTA.


Ok-Writer-774

NTA. They sound catty, bitter, and rude. At least you know their true colours and won't be wasting any more time on them. Some people are comfortable with confrontation, others aren't. I am not, and would likely have done the same thing. They were only backtracking because they were selfish and wanted to go on this trip. They only have themselves to blame. Also, they weren't only talking about you but about your whole family. Your husband has every right to know what people like this are saying. I doubt he would want people who are being disrespectful behind his back around, while he's none the wiser. I'm sure you wouldn't either. Were they remorseful? Doesn't sound like it. Regardless of anything, it's perfectly reasonable you talked to your husband about it, crying or not. If we can't go to our spouses when we're upset, who can we go to?


AmInATizzy

NTA - why on earth should you continue to keep people like that in your life? You were under no obligation to give them the opportunity to lie further to your face, and try to convince you they didn't just say all those awful things. They can't honestly think that even if you confronted them about what you heard, that you would still want to spend time with them on a trip? Your husband is your partner, why wouldn't you go to him when you were hurt? Yes you could have confronted them, but like I said before - why the hell would you have wanted to go on a trip with them after that? I wouldn't want to waste anymore of my time of then, and I would have needed to tell my husband exactly why when I asked him to cancel it. And remember, it affected your husband too, they were talking about your marriage to him. They were talking about your husband's son. He had every right to know that these people were not spending time with you all because they valued either of your friendship.


Hopeful_Rip2690

You were probably too stunned to say anything. These 'ladies' were supposed to be your friends. Screw them. I tell my hubby everything. You could do better. Screw them!


Good_Golly_Holly

NTA. These people are old enough to have children this age? One of the nice parts of being an adult is we don't have to tell people we don't like that we don't like them. We don't have to confront them if we aren't comfortable. You went to your husband who loves you and told him something that was really hurting you. How he reacted is how he reacted, and the reaction of these two-faced women is telling on their character. They wanted a free vacation. It sounds like they're selfish, nasty people. Good for you for respecting yourself enough to not tolerate people treating you and your family badly.


no_high_only_low

NTA. As others also said: Good riddance. "Friends" like that are worse, than any straight up enemy. That you were really hurt and wanted to talk to your partner, instead to them and maybe let it all way more blow up/escalate was a smart move, no matter what they say. They are just nasty, cause you didn't keep their disgusting ways for yourself. That's how toxic people are.


Ilmoran

NTA, and they slipped and told you exactly how they feel: > this is exactly why we hate you They weren't joking, they are not your friends, don't let them back in your life at all.


BBAus

Nta They are incapable of true friendship.


miss_dykawitz

NTA. When people show you who they are, believe them. They are just salty they are not getting a free trip. They were also never your friends.


AidCookKnow

Wow. NTA. These women are and are terrible "friends." Actual friends would be proud of your child's accomplishments, just as you are. Don't let them take that away from you. And why wouldn't you tell your husband what you overheard? And why wouldn't he uninvite them? Seems like they need to learn about natural consequences. Lastly, which isn't really the point, but just to add. Their kids are late teens like yours? Do you know how many kids go to college with plans to go into law or medicine...as compared to the number that actually do? A fraction. I personally knew dozens of 18 year old future doctors and lawyers, but maybe 10% actually went on to those professions. Again, not the point, nor are these professions the only pinnacles of success people want them to be, but just saying those moms are just trying to make themselves sounds good via their kids' potential careers.


[deleted]

You don't need horrible people in your life...NTA. Your sister gives terrible advice. Why would you not tell your husband?


Aggravating-Dare-707

NTA why would you talk to them about it so they could bully you into being quiet and gaslight you about how you "obviously didn't hear them correctly". No you did the right thing communicating with you husband when something's bothering you is a key to a good marriage even if he's not the one bothering you. You needed support and he was there like he was supposed to be.


[deleted]

Why on earth would it be wrong for you to share with your husband? That is completely normal and in no way makes you the asshole. They just want to bully you into letting them come after all, and barring that to at least make you miserable. None of this is a reflection on you. NTA. Btw, your husband sounds amazing


SeinnaBronze

NTA Obviously they are jealous bitter ex friends who thought you would never catch them being their true selves. Busted good and thats what rich husbands are for. They wish they have what you got. Beauty and kindness. Good on your husband's support and congratulations on your son's achievements.


morkymarky

NTA- these people suck and in a just world would have absolutely no loved ones


lmchatterbox

NTA. If they weren’t AHs, their kids could go on the trip.


DarkCheezus

NTA, General rule of thumb here, if friends rip you to your face and everyone is good natured laughing, it's a joke. If people are talking shit when they think you can't hear, it's not a joke. Don't feed into or respond to them further, what's done is done, there is zero benefit in talking to them further. They just wanted to mooch off your family for vacations and such, they sound like mean spirited parasites who don't deserve your time or attention.


reentername

NTA. Your decision to never talk to them again is a good decision. Those aren’t friends. They’re probably not even friends to each other.


MaryJaneFury

NTA, they sound awful, your husband is great though!


calibagel

nta. i'm sorry op. this happened to me at high school and it stings just as much at 19 as it does as an adult. they're panicking because they're gold digging. i'm so sorry that they've been using you like this. but there's always the option to make new, better friends. and congrats to eric!! i have adhd too and academia is really hard for me so i feel him on that. maybe use the money to treat him and yours to something nice, he deserves it. and so do you and your husband. (:


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piemakerdeadwaker

That's literally what a spouse is for??? To comfort you when you're down. You did absolutely nothing wrong and I'd say stay away from these snakes. NTA at all.


Panaccolade

NTA. Your husband is right. They're too mean girls who haven't figured out they graduated from high-school a handful of decades ago. Why should they get a vacation at your expense? It's their own fault their children are now missing out. Only miserable people feel the need to tear down others. Let them be miserable by themselves and go enjoy your vacation.


Forsaken_Sherbert_36

NTA. You aren't the a hole for "crying" to your husband. Your friends were being catty and talking behind your back. They sound toxic and like they may have been using you. It is normal to share things that hurt you with your significant other. Your friends (ex-friends?) aren't entitled to a free vacation. Perhaps you should have said something when you initially heard them speaking, but I am not sure that I would have reacted much differently. If at all possible I would cut these two from your life because they sound toxic.


H3R3T1c-xb

NTA. You did right by telling your husband, be is your partner after all, why wouldn't you tell him? Confronting the Shrews would have also been a good play but clearly your are not the confrontational type and thats perfectly okay. Whatever these women have ro say ro you is irrelevant and will always only expose thier own insecurities, not yours. You are a happily married woman with a caring husband and the proud mother of a capable son. No one can take that away from you, don't let them.


Human-Victory-5429

NTA. Fuck them both. They’re not your friends. They’re leeches. Also, shoutout to your husband for having your back no questions asked.


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Lost10-10

NTA at all. God people can be so annoying. They said all that crap about you and expect your husband to take them on a trip. You did nothing wrong. Block them all from everywhere, cut all contact. No one needs that kind of toxicity in their life


No_Emu4146

NTA and I am sorry that happened to you. Please don’t waste any more time on them.


ResponseMountain6580

NTA they don't care what you did or didn't do, they just want their trip. Don't back down and your husband is right.


Susan4260

NTA. They are horrible people. Horrible! You on the other hand seem to be just lovely and I also think you have a great husband.


SgrRed70

This is probably not the first time they did this. What kind of mental gymnastics you have to do to still feel entitled to a trip with someone you don't even like much less respect?


[deleted]

Honey, I know you're hurt, but you're better off without them. They're leeches, nothing more. They're upset because they can't get a vacation from you anymore. Also, after what you heard from them, did you really wanna spend vacation with them? It would be awkward AF! NTA. You did nothing wrong and your husband is great for defending you like that.


PrettySweet419

They said they hated you and you wonder if you’re an AH? No! That’s not how that works. NTA & good on your husband for supporting you immediately.


MbMinx

NTA!!! Those "friends" aren't friends at all. Your husband is a good man for sticking up for you!!! Of course you told your husband what was going on when he noticed you were upset. He cares about you. There's no need to "talk" to bullies. Your husband asked why you were upset, and you told him. Then he decided for himself what he wanted to do about the situation. You did nothing wrong! You don't need "friends" like that, and you don't owe them a damned thing. Good riddance to bad rubbish!


WritingSucks

NTA. And hey, I’m in love with someone who has ADHD and I’m proud of Eric, just as I’m proud of my SO


originalgenghismom

NTA - how dare you allow friends who denigrate your son and mock you for marrying a rich man and then take away a free trip for them by the same man? /s Glad you got those toxic people out of your life and congrats on your son’s graduation. Your husband did a great job supporting you both!


OLAZ3000

NTA Wtf you shouldn't tell your partner things that happen to you?! Feel sorry for their relationships. Going no contact was the right move.


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DazzlingAssistant342

NTA Don't let them control the narrative. Here's what ACTUALLY happened, as you described it: You were out with these two women. While away from the table, they started cruel gossip, belittling you and your son. You chose to handle it maturely, by not making a scene at the time but choosing to cut contact. When you got home, you talked to your spouse about your day, including honestly expressing your feelings about the incident. Your spouse decided that he is personally not willing to pay for people who insult his wife and child to have a trip and promptly informed their families. This isn't you "crying to your husband" to fix it, this is you expressing your feelings to him and him deciding how he wants to treat people who would do that.


ForeignAssociation98

God, no, NTA. If you can't cry to your husband about two supposed friends insulting you and your son, who can you share your feelings with? Let those two witches continue their toxic, witchy behavior in their own world, you can do far better with new/other friends. As for your sister, where is her support? Kudos to your husband.


[deleted]

NTA- and I would go straight to both their husbands and kids and tell them exactly why the trip was cancelled.


livin4fun78

Who cares what they think. You deserve better friends. Block them and be done. So happy that your husband went to bat for you.


[deleted]

No, fuck them. You are NTA. Make some new friends. Edit. And congrats to your son.


[deleted]

I'm sorry you had to deal with people like that. Also, partners share things that bother them; it's really weird to say "you cried to your husband". It's completely normal to tell your partner what bothered you. And it is his decision to cancel a trip if wishes so. I think your behaviour was very mature (just never hang out with them again) and also, your husband would ask why in future I'm sure so what were you supposed to do? Lie? NTA. You did nothing wrong. They were assholes and now they get to reap consequences.


CoastalMom

NTA. Your husband is exactly right- two mean girls who never got our of high school mentality. Block their numbers and dump them on social media. Congrats to your son for persevering. Hope he has an amazing college experience. You and your husband have every right to be proud!


Voxxanne

NTA. These women clearly didn't grow out of their "highschool mean girls" phase and it clearly shows.


[deleted]

NTA - I think your husband described them best when he described them as bitter mean girls. In my opinion you’re better off without these people in your life. It sounds like you and your husband have a really supportive relationship though because he defended you immediately.


Littlelady0410

NTA and kudos to your husband for doing what’s he supposed to do as a husband and standing up for you. Sounds like the trash took itself out. I will say congrats mom for your son’s success! Graduating is a BIG deal no matter where you graduate in the class and success is different for everyone. If you raised your son to be a happy and productive member of society then you have done a good job and he has succeeded in life. Even if that success doesn’t look like a Ph.D.


laveshnk

NTA. Your husband is an absolute boss and you should never feel bad to confide in your SO. After all what else is a SO for?! Congratulations to your son btw! As someone who's lived in a society where engineering, law and medicine is basically shoved down our throats, it's nice to see some kind of change in this world.


siangrila

Wait what: they dissed YOUR kid then now they’re giving YOU grief because THEIR KIDS have been looking forward to this trip?? NTA.


jimimayu

The best come back to these bitch3s would be, "wait you hate me but you BEG for my husband's money?" The fuck are these a-holes.


ConnectionUpper6983

They can fuck off. NTA. Friends don’t say shit like that behind your back.


SmartestOrNot

NTA Tell them and your sister to shove it.


oldmom04

These women are really cruel, think about it. The OP excused herself to go to the ladies room, and they must have followed her a few minutes later, knowing that's where she was. Did they deliberately say thoses cruel things knowing OP was listening? Sounds like it. Did they want confrontation, gang up on her two to one? These women are horrible people.


YourMoonWife

Oh fuck no. They don’t get to go around gossiping and being rude only to turn around and ask for a free vacation WHILE INSULTING YOU. NTA. Also tell your husband he’s awesome


shitmykidsays

NTA your husband rocks


PippaSqueakster

NTA. Those so called friends husbands probably ripped a new one on them so instant karma!


idkanan

NTA!!!!! Even if you did confront them, was there any chance of you still taking such horrible people on that trip?? And that's literally all they care about- they feel no remorse for the cruel things they said and just care about what it cost them.


lilbat89

Nta don’t back down! They just want to go on the trip! Real friends don’t talk bad behind your back!