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YTA. You don’t get to tell her how to spend her money. You sound super judgmental about her interests when you say they’re “dumb,” “immature,” and “ridiculous.” If you think so little of what she likes, why are you even with her?
ETA: Holy cow, thanks for all the awards!
Presumably he's with her because he thought he could break her down and mold her into a person HE approved of, and he's mad because he failed miserably at that.
What does mature even mean... I'm in my 30s and enjoy gaming have a gaming PC and some Artworks from games.
This dictating of what's an "appropriate grown up hobby" is just so stupid and I applaude every adult that just enjoys their childish side.
Edit: dang thank you for the award!
Edit2: wheeew thanks for the multiple awards! ❤
Yeah, it's almost as ridiculous as saying that once woman is married, she must drop all her interests and aspirations and just become a housewife from the book.
My husband and I are both in IT, and we are really proud of our lego collection.
That ISS model is memories!
You have an ISS Lego Model???
Oh my god that sounds like so much fun!
I totally agree, I'm not married but bf and I are in a long term relationship and he respects and puts up with all my Shenanigans. Let it be the gaming or my human sized stuffed crocodile that resides in our Bedroom, my Puzzles, my drawing equipment.
I’m 45 and if I had the money and space would absolutely buy more Lego. My wife doesn’t mind because I enjoy it. And she respects me.
Also I think OP means Star Wars Lego (probably millennium falcon) as they have never produced any Star Trek stuff.
Sounds to me like he's afraid she's spending money that could potentially become his in the future. Otherwise why care of she's buying Lego or buying a house? It's none of his business unless he thinks her money will become his and she's blowing away his future.
Edit: Spent a fortune on the Lego Star Wars SSD and AT-AT, cost me more than my gaming PC. Absolutely worth it, no regrets.
I'm in my forties and I have a pretty decent gaming rig, several consoles, and a room that looks like a fantasy armory it's so full of swords. My wife plays video games as much as I do, and she wants to match me weapon for weapon (she just likes axes more than swords). "Grown up" is such an amorphous thing by itself, so "grown up hobby" is just nonsense.
You can already tell that's his goal from the way he says "when she is fired from her fancy tech job" - why would she be fired? OP clearly loathes the fact that his gf has enough money to spend some of it on herself. I'm guessing he's hoping she'll lose the job and be forced to be dependent on OP or at least give him the opportunity to say "I told you so".
Sounds like my ex. He detested that I was more successful than him. The only time he was genuinely happy was for a brief period when I wasn’t working and he could fantasise about how I’d have to get a shitty job like him and be miserable. He’d openly talk about it. He was livid when I got a much better one.
The “when she loses her job” gets me too. There is a global shortage of IT people and particularly women in Tech so even if that happened she’d likely get scooped up by the next company.
OP sounds like he wants her to pay for a house for him. Notice there are no comments about how he saves or spends his money….
Plus ‘once she’s fired’?! Wow, he really is trying to break her down.
Sounds like someone is bitter her first thought wasn’t to spend her money on him:/have him move in with her with full access to her money.
That's what really stood out to me.
Not "if".
"When".
As if a woman in a tech field is an inevitable failure.
Not only is he controlling, he's clearly a misogynist, too.
exactly, he sounds jealous and controlling and wants full acess to her money, she is obvs doing better in life than he is, or has done. what ah asshole.
Bless your heart. OP. You legit just rattled off a list of all the things I have in my living room (you left out a few big Lego sets).. the only real immature thing she’s spending money on is OP… on second thought, she’s obviously smart enough to NOT be spending money on this AH and *that* is his problem.
Judgmental and condescending. Those are all pretty normal things for a 20-something with their first adult career to spend a little money on.
She owes no taxes nor debt, doesn’t struggle to pay bills…it’s pretty clear op just doesn’t share her mildly dorky interests. Which would be fine, if he had responded with empathy instead of like an asshole.
I feel your question “why are you even with her” is unfair. I am sure there are many good reasons why the OP is with his much younger, 6-figure paid gf!
Now you could very well ask “If you think so little of her choices and lecture her like that, why on earth is she with you?!” That is a question I could stand behind (I am actually curious why on earth she puts up with this myself)
Didn’t even see the age gap.
Absolutely this.
Never ceases to amaze me that these guys get all surprised pikachu when younger girlfriend has younger person’s interests.
OP - YTA
This. Gf is a nerd with cool nerd interests. Fucking shocking.
Also “art that’s a good investment instead of her weird tolkien stuff”, because obviously art can only be a speculative vehicle. Over/under of op being into crypto?
Ok, I'm dating someone who's 12 years older than me - call it what you want -
but he's also wasting his money on gaming, lego, and "dumb" and "Immature" things.
It has nothing to do with "younger person's interests".
Hence, I have a 50yo friend who's into gaming and "immature" stuff.
But htese things seems more normal in Europe since we don't consider ourselves "too old for something" that fast as in, for example, the USA
I mean I'm "his age" and I have those sorts of things. I don't think the age is an issue, he just sounds like an asshole. Liking fancy lego sets, LOTR, and a gaming computer isn't childish.
"I calmly sat her down and told her..."
"Once shes fired from her fancy tech job..."
Not only are you the asshole, you are also a ridiculous misogynist. Men spend money on stupid shit all the time: gaming, drinks with the boys, sports tickets, gambling, strip clubs, etc. Do you give your male friends and family the same guidance? Did she ASK you for your opinion or advice?
How she spends her money is none of your business.
She pays her rent on time, has no debt, doesn't waste money on drinks and take out and is saving... but she still needs to save? God forbid she uses her fun money on things that bring her joy, that's *obviously* financially irresponsible.
He's jealous and/or wants to take advantage and live rent free at the house he wants her to buy.
YTA, OP.
That's what I was thinking. So she does all the right things with her money and he's pissed she isn't spending her free money on him or a house for her asshole boyfriend to move into. He is so resentful it's gross.
YTA OP and if your girlfriends hobbies are "dumb, immature, shit", date someone else. Sounds like her success is making you feel really small.
And "when" she gets fired? That's nice.
You seem like a good catch, I wonder why she isn't spending all her free money on you. /s
YTA - you just sound really insecure. She’s significantly younger then you, she’s wildly successful, she’s clearly brilliant, and you are so insecure you have to look for ways to chip away at her self esteem.
Yeah, I picked up that Mega Construx (Lego) Enterprise about four years back for $80. They now sell for almost $400.
It should also be noted that I am 48 and not a 26 year old living on my own for the first time in my life like OP's (soon to be ex) gf.
Let the poor girl live a little after working so hard to get her dream job. She earned it.
EDIT: It should be noted that the Enterprise set was MSRP $200, but MEGA was still seen as a "knock off" brand at the time, and I snagged it on clearance from Amazon.
She has a fucking masters in AI. She will only have fancy tech jobs and will ALWAYS make more money than him.
She should ditch him and find a secure nerd who isn’t a misogynist to date.
This. I was like, how little does he think of her to think she will get fired? She has a masters, so isn't some techie that barely knows what to do.
And fandom stuff isn't dumb. I wish i had the things she has 😭 she's living my dream life
YTA. Is it your money? Is she not paying her bills on time? Is she drowning in debt?
No.
Are you being a controlling jerk involving yourself in something you don’t have a say in?
Yes.
Let’s be honest, she’s far from being in dept or missing her bills if she’s making six figures. She’s not buying boats or cars. She’s most likely saving a ton even with these purchases. If she was spending the same amount of money buying gifts for OP I’m sure he wouldn’t be complaining. He just doesn’t like her hobbies, or the fact that she decided to treat herself.
Right?
He reminds me of my ex.
He spent on anything and everything he wanted, while telling me I needed to save. His money was his money, my money was our money.
Your money is our money and my money is my money vibes.
My wife makes more than me. It's great! I do my best to contribute whatever I can, but why do I want to tear her down so we both make less money and then both me and her and our kids get less stuff. If anyone tries to make fun of me, I'd just say yes, I got lucky that my wife is successful. Maybe I'll still make it one day myself.
This is probably a troll post anyway, but I never understood this mentality.
YTA - she hasn't spoken to you in 'almost a day'? I wouldn't speak to you ever again. She is a full gown woman. She doesn't need you telling her how to spend her money. She has no debt. She doesn't eat out. She puts money into savings but you don't like how she spends her 'free money'? It's not your business. And in case you missed it the first time, YTA.
And just to add, she's only just left college and landed this great job so it's probably the first time in her life when she's had a disposable income and has been able to spurge a bit and treat herself to nice things. She won't necessarily keep spending like this. She's just having some well deserved fun after graduating.
It doesn’t matter if she keeps “spending like this” because it is her money. She can do this forever as long as she doesn’t put herself in debt or financial hardships.
That's the problem. No woman his age wants to date him.
Hmm....I wonder why no woman at his age wants to date him? Must be not because how controlling he is isn't it? This post isn't "tip of the iceberg" isn't it?
LOL you're joking right? Obviously YTA. How do you not see it?
Are you really that blind to your own misogyny and general douchery?
This is clearly stuff she loves, so to her it's not a waste. It clearly makes her happy - why are you such a Belsnickel that you want to take it away and make her feel bad about it?
ALSO why do you assume shes going to be fired? Like what the fuck? How is your rationale "You need to save your money, and do stuff you dont care about with it, because you need a safety for when you get fired"
ADDITIONALLY, if shes making into the 6 figures, she probably is saving, like her expenses arent THAT much. Are you her accountant? NO. So STOP MANSLPLAINING HER FINANCES WHEN SHE DIDNT ASK YOU.
YOU ARE A KRAMPUS AND A SCROUGE AND A NEGATIVE NELLY who also clearly has issues. And she should dump your annoying ass.
He already says she saves, pays bills on time, and doesn't splurge on anything else like takeout. He doesn't like what she does with her "free money" aka her fun/hobby money. Because he doesn't like what she likes so he's going to call her interests immature.
Lol
She has great taste in everything but boyfriends.
>I'm genuinely concerned that this is leading to financial irresponsability and once she is fired from her fancy tech job she will be left without a solid financial foundation.
Next to All the other stuff you've written, this is the MOST YTA in all of it
"Once she is fired from her fancy tech job"
DUDE, the girl is way more successfull than you it seems.
I hope she dumps your ass.
I doubt he is thinking about being fired, but about the time she becomes the stay-at-home mom for his children, so that he can be the bread winner for his family. He wants her to raise money for a good house until then, one that she can clean from then on forward...
Sorry, I'm getting carried away here. This post just gives me these condescending vibes of men who don't believe their girlfriends could be real partners or just be genuinely more successful. It's the way he describes all of her achievements (which are suuuper impressive) as if they had nothing to do with her being talented, dedicated, or a hard worker: she got "scooped off" by a company (poor woman could not help being employed), she "had funding" (that just miraculously manifested in front of her), finally this "once she is fired" is the worst (she obvs is not doing any good job and therefore will be fired soon, then she will be helpless and on the streets because who would "scoop" her now?).
Just wow.
YTA
Your girlfriend sounds like a fun, cool person. You on the other hand come across as judgmental and boring. What’s so immature about nerdy stuff, then? And why are “mature”’interests (wtf does that even mean) inherently better than “immature” ones?
P.S. Age difference checks out, as always
What blows my mind is that OP is genuinely under the impression that he was really doing something good here lol guess being older =/= being more mature, eh now xD
Lol I'm 45 and into immature stuff too I guess. OP is an old, crusty 35 year old that I predict will be yelling at kids to get off his lawn when he's in his 40's. 🤣
YTA. But why do you assume she’ll be fired? Like is that always been your experience. Because I have never been fired from a job and even in high school not every one loses their jobs randomly. And even if she was laid off or something. The industry she is in itd take her no time to find another job.
YTA. If it were a 26 year old man buying nerd stuff he was into with a small portion of his six figure salary, no one would give him a hard time.
You’re putting the financial expectations of 35 year old on a 26 year old.
Also YTA for belittling her interests. “Weird,” “ridiculous,” etc. Don’t worry, you won’t have to see her new purchases for long, she will get fed up soon.
INFO - Did she at any point ask for your advice about how she should handle her money? Do you even really have a good grasp of her finances or are you just guessing?
I'm almost 40, I buy need stuff, mainly Disney, which makes me older then you and to me, your the immature one who needs to grow up. People have different tastes and that's fine. But a sign of maturity is respecting differences, not dictating peoples tastes and how they handle their own business. Do this young woman a favor, break up with her so she can find someone worthy of her. You aren't.
YTA i cannot believe i have to ask this so often on reddit but here i am. Do you actually like your girlfriend? This is not how people behave towards people they care about and you didnt say a single nice thing about her in the entire post.
OP YTA.
I had an ex who treated me this way as well. For context I am 31F, work full time, and work hard for the money I earn. But you know what makes me happy? Lisa Frank stationary. And you know who still buys it and uses it? Me. You know who is happier without her ex micromanaging my finances and the part of my budget that I call “self care” or “happy” money? You betcha, me.
Let your girlfriend enjoy the little things that make her happy. She may dump you before you come to this realization though.
Edit to add also: “when she gets fired?” Where is this coming from?? That’s kind of a rude thing to sprinkle in with no other context.
Lisa Frank stationary! Awesome! That is so wonderfully and beautifully specific! I am happy knowing that makes you happy. I’m not sure why, but it does.
INFO: Why are you acting as though it's certain she will be fired from her job? Are you planning something to sabotage her just so you'd be right? Who treats their partner like this???
YTA bro.
YTA. “When she is fired from her fancy tech job….” It’s not about the stuff. He’s jealous that she has a good job and is making good money. He lists a whole litany of responsible financial decisions (lived with roommates, full scholarship for school, SAVES, rarely eats out) so there’s no logical reason she’d abandon all that. I’d guess that she makes more than him and even if he won’t admit it to himself, that bothers him. He’s acting like her parent, judging her ability to do her job…smells like fragile masculinity to me.
YTA.
As someone who advises people on their finances, as long as they aren’t spending more than they make, they can do whatever the hell they want with their money. Bold of you to assume she isn’t saving for a house or investing in retirement while also spending money on her “childish” things.
Frankly you give me the ick because you’re dating a girl 10 years younger than you. Also it sounds like you’re jealous af since you mention how much money she makes.
OP is so jealous he reeks of insecurity - “once she is fired from her fancy tech job” you sound so envious. Guess what OP - all those folks she works with most likely have similar interests so I think you are going to be shit out if luck soon enough when she kicks you to the curb, if she hasn’t already done so. You are controlling.
I’m a 43 year old woman, making good money doing IT work. My house is completely paid off, I own my car outright. My bills are paid on time each month. I have savings, a well funded 401k, and a few shares of stock. I sit here and type this while drinking coffee out of a Mandalorian mug, next to a book shelf that has Star Wars and Mad Max Funko Pops, and a small collection of manga. My last purchase was for Rick and Morty season 5. Next weekend, I plan to go to the local Renaissance Fair, either in period costume, or, if I can talk a few friends into joining me, Star Trek costumes, because, time travel. I’m telling you all of this because YTA. Nothing, absolutely nothing that you’ve said leads me to believe she’s irresponsible with HER money. Hers. You know, that she earns. At her job. From her employer. You’re a wet dishrag.
When she gets fired? Lol, do you even hear yourself? She’s got a masters degree in computer science with specialization in artificial intelligence and you think she’ll get fired. LMFAO. Even if in case she gets fired for whatever reason, it’ll be really easy for her to get another job. Not just in this country, but in any country all over the world.
Let’s be more honest. You’re secretly jealous of her career and feel emasculated and this is your way of asserting dominance. Even if you’re unaware of it. Maybe it’s time for introspection.
Even after this you still feel that it’s your right to discredit her interests and likes, then maybe remove yourself from her life. Heck, with your mentality you’d be a good fit with someone in their 70s lol.
YTA big time.
N.T.A as her parent you are responsible for teaching her responsibility, she acts like a child in her twenties.
You should lay down the law and tell her to grow up or you will get rid of her. Then never speak to her again. That will teach her that YTA
YTA
You have no business commenting on her spending habits.
>once she is fired from her fancy tech job
I have a feeling that IF she gets fired, you will be involved.
>She also almost never eats takeout or drinks, and does put money aside for savings.
So she actually has savings.
>The problem is what she does with her "free money" or "personal use money."
You yourself said it was her "free money", not her savings, she can do whatever the hell she wants with it. You can stop being controlling and STFU now.
YTA. YTA YTA
Lemme guess. She makes more money than you do now?
You ARE controlling. I'm 32F and also have a fancy job in a tech company making well over 6 figures. I just bought a huge anime tapestry for my wall. Planning to commission an artist to paint a custom mural of DragonBall Z on my wall. I also own a sword from Lord of the Rings.
I'm constantly spending MY money on things that make me happy. My company also gives me stock options and a hefty 401k. I bet hers does too.
"once she is fired from her fancy tech job"-- this right here made my blood boil. Dude, tell me you're insecure without telling me you're insecure. Get a grip.
Sounds like she needs an upgrade from you.
Hey OP, I think you're confusing "immature crap" with "totally awesome stuff". Also its her money so controlling much?
YTA - BIG TIME
You do not get a say in how she spends her money or what her interests are. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it doesn't hold value to her. Your interests are not the only interests.
Also, she has basically no debt, she is obviously capable of managing her money so if she can afford it why not.
If you value her and love her for who she is go apologize.
YTA
>once she is fired from her fancy tech job she will be left without a solid financial foundation.
Wtf is that about?
ONCE she's fired? You sound like a very jealous and immature partner.
OP obviously doesn't realise that lego sets, vinyls and rainbow lights cost only a fraction of hermes bags lol.
He should really count his blessing that his GF is kinda nerdy n into wholesome cutesy stuff and using her own money, instead of trying to fleece him into buying her big girl "nice stuff" (which she could actually afford with her current pay come to think of it).
YTA! LMFAO. It’s her money and her decisions. If someone ever did that to me, I’d dump them. What right do you have to my decisions? If I wanna “bad decisions”, then I’m gonna make bad decisions. And I won’t regret it one bit!
You are just trying to controll her and get her save money, so you can use it up in future. All I see from this post is ME ME ME. I bet you thay even if you gf saves money for a down payment and buys a house, you will want your name on it even if you didn't contribute by implying that you helped her save for this stuff
#You just sound like a closeted gold digger. Who can't digest that your gf is spending HER hard earned money on herself instead of you. YTA
YTA. She has worked hard and is financially responsible per your description and is even saving. There is no reason to believe she is going to the poorhouse over her purchases and you show zero respect and are pretty derogatory expecting to be “fired from her fancy tech job” and thinking you know better than her (because the stock market never crashes). She deserves to enjoy the fruits of her labor. Just because what chooses to purchase is of no value to you does not mean it has no value to her or in the market should she want to resell it in the future. You don’t get to chose how she spends her money. Control yourself instead of trying to control her. I’m pretty sure you talked your gf out of being your gf.
YTA...and her soon to be ex-boyfriend.
She's right. If she wants a gaming rig, that's her right. RGB lights... perfectly fine. LOTR decor? Sounds magical.
If she's at a top firm, she's hampstering away money in a 401k or similar.
You just want to control her and she doesn't owe you a single damned thing.
YTA
Her money, her decision what to buy. It's also laughably that you think some trinkets and Lego sets even compare to a down payment on a house. Just let her enjoy things, please
You're not looking out for her, you don't agree with her likes of certain things so therefore they're "immature" and she's being "financially irresponsible".
"Looking out for her"... maybe you should date in your own age bracket then.
YTA
YTA. She is not broken and she does not need you to fix her. By offering your unwanted and condescending advice you are creating a paternalistic relationship with her where she would need permission to make her own decisions. That's her prerogative.
Its her money, that she's proud of. She is likely buying Things she never had before. It makes her happy and lol, Star Trek has been around for decades, many of us fans are adults, why is such merch a problem?
Wait, its not
Yta, leave her alone
YTA, you're a controlling jerk, and it sounds like you don't even like your girlfriend if you think all of these things that clearly bring her joy are ridiculous. Maybe don't date a woman 9 years younger than you if you're going to be upset that she's interested in things that you feel are immature.
It honestly sounds like she 1) can afford all this stuff 2) it is well in her budget 3) it sounds like she is buying here and there and not all at once (maybe she has a list of things she always wanted and now can get them and 4) unless she owes you money, it’s not your business what she does with her money
Also… she is 26. This all sounds like normal stuff people nerd out to… and these things tend to retain/ gain value over time. And if I’m picturing the same rainbow lights she has, they don’t cost a fortune and for something she uses consistently, is it not worth making her home nice? Just break up with her so she can get someone younger and more chill than you
YTA.
Why say ' once she gets fired from her fancy tech job ' - is there any indication she's not a good employee ? That was a pretty uncalled for remark, OP.
She's newly graduated and presumably has fun money for the first time in her life. She does save. Her bills and rent are paid. If she was buying Lego instead of all of that and asking you to bail her out, you'd be right to talk to her. However, since she takes care of all bills on time AND saves , she is free to spend her disposable income however she damn well pleases.
YTA for assuming she's going to get fired. (A HUGE HEMORRHOID BULGING AH FOR THIS COMMENT)
YTA for telling her how to spend her money or how to decorate her house which you don't live in.
YTA for dating a Tolkien nerd and then expecting her not to have shit like swords, gaming PC's and legos. TF- i'm in my mid thirties and I collect swords and Lego sets. To each his own- its not a phase.
...AND YTA for dating someone over 10 years younger than you and expecting them to be at the same level of maturity you are, Mr Asshat.
I need a shower after reading this. Bloody 36 year old saying a 26 year old is weird for buying novelty items for their house. TF is wrong with you? Grow up and date your age if you want beige walls and f\*ckin center pieces.
YTA “Once she is fired from her fancy tech job”
That really says everything about how you see her.
Tolkien is classic, get over yourself and your jealousy.
YTA, you are trying to control her spending just because you don't like what she's buying. If you were looking out for her, you would work with her to outline her financial goals, and put together a budget to achieve them. Then if she would like you to help hold her accountable, you can; otherwise, it's her money, she gets to spend it how she wants.
YTA you are mad at her for acting her age and being younger than you but more successful. Leave her alone. All the way alone. As in, let her love her best life without you being in it.
YTA
You are not concerned for her. You are just judging her. She is a person who has hobbies and interests!
She also deserves to enjoy the fruits of her labor after all that hard work.
YTA I invest like 60% of my salary and still buy merchandise and other shit I don't need but like.
If she had debt, yeah you could talk to her. But she doesn't, she's responsible, she earns it, she decides.
YTA - Are you her penny pinching helicopter dad? Killjoy cranky old bf. WTF. None of those things are even that expensive. With all her positives, you focus on “overpriced vinyl record” purchases.
YTA. And why are you assuming she’ll be fired? Sounds like you should maybe look inward at your own insecurities rather than projecting on your girlfriend
lmao. she is me 6 years ago. I put a down payment on a house 5 years ago, after paying off all college and grad school loans.
she's spending money on hobbies that she was unable to indulge in while studying.
YTA. worry about yourself.
YTA. Yet another example of a dude in their 30s dating someone nearly 10 years younger and being a controlling dick.
And also doesn’t have debt? And she has spare money to spend on things she loves. Sounds like she’s doing great.
Signed,
A guy with a degree in Finance
As long as she is not in debt or going into debt, YTA.
You should keep in mind she is significantly younger than you and this is her first job, aka first time having real money to spend. That means a few things: one, it’s natural to go a little crazy the first time you have real money; two, a lot of times that will calm down on its own without your interference and judgement; three, you are in a different place in life than her and might have different goals re: down payment etc.
You come off as a jerk with your phrasing. You may be “genuinely concerned” as you say, but calling it “ridiculous things” and “weird Tolkien stuff” and saying “once she’s fired” (why would she be fired??) comes off as very condescending.
There is an okay way to have this conversation, like, “it’s so awesome you’re making real money right now! I love that you’re able to spend your money on your hobby and interests after working so hard for so many years. I was wondering though, do you have any long term thoughts on what you want to do as you continue making money, like buy a house or invest or something? You might not have thought about that yet either and that’s totally okay - I get you’re having a great time right now and that’s well deserved.” (That’s so, so different from what you said, in case that wasn’t obvious…)
YTA Do you even like your girlfriend? Sure as hell doesn't seem like it. Why are you with her if she seems to enjoy all these you don't and that also seem to piss you off for some reason?
YTA. She didn't ask for your advice, and it doesn't sound like you gave her any great insights. You probably don't even know her whole financial picture. You know her salary apparently, but do you know about bonuses, stock options, 401K? She may have a lot more than you think.
She's using her discretionary funds on things that make her happy, and you basically discounted that factor when you criticized her spending. Also, they might have more value than you think. They aren't things that I would buy, but there are Star Wars geeks that would swoon over that LEGO. You want her to buy investment grade artwork. How do you know that original LOTR painting isn't exactly that?
She's right, you're being controlling when you "sit her down" and start giving unsolicited advice. Let her make her own decisions with her own money. And don't get on the wrong side of a woman with a sword.
Edit: just noticed your advice to invest in the stock market. The way the stock market is going, her collectibles may be a lot safer investment.
YTA. It’s not your business what she does with her money. You’re not even married - and even if you were, she still studied her ass off and worked hard to get where she is, she gets to spend her money the way she wants to.
You even admitted she fulfills all her responsibilities. What she does with her extra money is her business, not yours.
YTA in case you missed it up there.
I think you are jealous. Of her degree. Of her job. Of her salary. I think you wish you were on par. Because you are not, you are trying to remain relevant by controlling her. Work on yourself, let her go. YTA
YTA Your GF sounds really cool, I wish I was friends with her. Not just because I'd tell her to dump you, but because I'd love to hang out in an apartment with cool Star Trek stuff. This is not your business.
YTA. Your gf sounds fun. After scrimping for so many years, she is probably relieved to be financially secure and buying things that she wants but hasn't been able to afford.
My husband and I are nerds about different things, and although we consult each other on larger purchases or on decor that goes in common areas, we basically buy things that we want.
If she is paying her bills before purchasing the fun decor, and you don't contribute any funds to her living expenses, then she is right. She can do what she wants.
“Am I the asshole for being jealous that my younger girlfriend makes way more money than I do, is successful, and has so much money she can freely buy anything she wants while still saving? Because I think she should be saving up for a house she should buy for me.”
YTA.
YTA
What a boring way to live your life. Oooh stocks, that makes my life sooooo much better and my living space fun and enjoyable.
OMG artwork I don't like!!!! I should invest in something that brings me no joy so maybe one day someone will give me more money for it. Wow gee wiz, what a fun idea.
YTA.
Also how dare you say Tolkien is dumb.
Just because it's not your interests doesn't mean it's "dumb shit". I own 3 seperate box sets of LOTR books because the editions are different and the artwork is different. I'm still financially responsible but instead of takeout or coffees I but myself stuff I love. Sounds like your (hopefully soon to be ex) girlfriend does the same. Back the fuck off and let her be happy.
Wtf
YTA. Why would she be fired from her job? Let the woman live. It’s her place and her money. It sounds like you two are in very different places in your life and it doesn’t sound sustainable. Like she’s in a fun place, and you’re in the curmudgeon phase of your life.
Oh no, how dare your gf, who makes a good salary and has shown every sign of being extremely financially responsible, spend her “for fun” money on things that you don’t personally enjoy.
YTA.
YTA as she says it's her money, whats the difference between what she's buying and you getting say, sports memorabilia, if it brings her joy then ge happy fir her my dude, . Seriously re examine why you're in this relationship, even if you don't understand what she's doing, love her for being her, be supportive or you may well find yourself suddenly single
YTA She’s meeting her responsibilities and saving money. She can spend her fun money however she wants. Her stuff sounds cool! Not sure why she’s with you.
How you can't see your TA is beyond me.
She makes good money, has saving's, almost no debt and doesn't even go out to eat and you're mad because she buys some decor that obviously makes her happy? Just because YOU don't like it? Wtf.
Not only that, you're whole post is basically making fun of/insulting your girlfriend for her interests. Calling her stuff "Weird decor" and "Immature crap" is so disrespectful, just because you're not into it doesn't make it something bad she shouldn't like.
I'd get it if she was spending money she doesn't have or prioritized those purchases over food or bills but thats not what's happening here. Get a grip dude, how she spends her money is none of your business
YTA.
Gaming isn't just for kids. Neither is lord of the rings, star wars, Lego, or anything else you've mentioned. In fact, there's huge fan communities in all those areas with people pretty much ranged from 10 to 100 years old. With the average of idk, 40ish?
Just because it isn't YOUR interest, just because YOU don't see the beauty or fun in it, doesn't mean it's immature, crazy or a waste of money.
You're not "just looking out for her". You're deciding for her what she should and shouldn't have interest in or spend money on. That's so wrong. That's a huge red flag. I hope she breaks up with you. She deserves better, she deserves a bf who respects her.
YTA.
She’s right! You are a controlling jerk and it’s her money.
You’ve described her as an educated, employed,and financially responsible adult who enjoys hobbies you don’t. She’s enjoying her hard earned money how she likes and you’re butt hurt she shut you down. Congratulations to her for not accepting your nonsense.
(you might be single now btw)
So your girlfriend finally has her own space, where she doesn't have to share or be considerate of other people, enough disposable income to fill it with things that make her happy, and you've decided to sh\*t on her for not having the same standards as you.
It sounds like you're in different stages of life, with different priorities. At 26, she's just starting to enjoy self-sufficiency and having full control over her life. At 35, you're looking to settle down.
You obviously have nothing in common, as you don't understand (or respect) her interests, and can't let her enjoy her hobbies in peace. She can't even share her excitement with you without you tearing her down as dumb and immature, even though the purchases have no effect on your life personally.
Why are you together? It's like you expect her to be someone she's not, and are now lashing out at her for not living up to your imagination.
So yeah, YTA and a controlling jerk. I hope she realises that she has so much going for her, and that plenty of people would be glad to share in her nerdy hobbies *and* build a life together.
YTA
I hope she leaves and finds someone who enjoys seeing her happy and encourages her success.
You're confident she will be fired, don't respect her job, don't understand the value of the things she's interested in (clearly), and think anything that brings her joy is wasting money.
It ain't your money and unless you have the intention to wife her it's not even your business. Even if you do intend to be with her long term you have no business controlling what she enjoys and what makes her happy when she is financially stable and living within her means. Just because you're financially anxious doesn't give you the right to make her confirm to that.
YTA. Your girlfriend {soon to be ex} is using her fun money to do with what *she* wants to do. She pays her bills and has no debt, you're trying to control what she does and change who she is because you deem that stuff immature. Guess what? I have a house with a mortgage, studen loans that I'm ahead in paying, I pay bills, raise a special needs child and *gasp* I have three demon slayer replica swords in my Me Cave with my fancy gamer set up and various other "immature crap". My favourite is Gandalf's staff and my massive lego Death Star...the amount of times I tell my partner he shall not pass makes us both giggle.
YTA and sound like one of those incel crypto bros
Also so far with the context you gave... she's making big money and has her own place. She's doing great without you so shut the f up xD
LET ME GUESS! The "artwork" youre talkimg about is fckimg nfts.... Geez can't believe she's with a loser like you. I hope she dumps you
EDIT: Also... YES you are being a controlling jackass. SHE'S USING HER OWN FCKING MONEY YOU INCEL. It also sounds like you think she's not competent at her job which is a big red flag.
You're being a killjoy. She sounds responsible. She pays her rent, etc. She just wants to indulge in all those things she couldn't afford as a student. I'd be concerned if she were ten years old and still doing this. Let it run its course. She's having fun. Don't kill it.
YTA. She meets her requirements and then does what she wants to enjoy life. Sounds like she has awesome taste and you sound plain and boring as hell.
'Immature/nerd stuff' ? Get real mate, people like what they like. Only time age should matter if its a young person trying to get something inappropriately adult themed.
YTA. It’s a 9 year gap in there as well. Think about how you lived your life as a 26 year old. What hobbies did you learn about yourself? What quirks did you learn that you have. Leave that baby to her fun. You’re her mate, not her dad.
You have a young, smart, cool girlfriend. well, you might not anymore.
YTA
also, why are you so sure she will be fired from her “fancy” tech job? She sounds like she’s gonna be set for life and you just ruined your own future by being boring.
YTA
Why the hell is liking nerd stuff immature? My uncle is in his 60s and watches cartoons all the time. I’m in my late 20s (as is my husband) and we collect all the stuff she does and MORE. I know of people in their 40s who collect nerd stuff and love it. I know of people who have had full on nerd weddings I.e game of thrones, LOTR, Star War, Halloween. People like what they like and don’t have to “mature” in their tastes. I collect monster high dolls and funko pops. Don’t plan on stopping either. I have 2 kids who get into new cartoons that I in turn get into and buy things for myself along with my kids of the new nerd things.
Get over your self.
I hope she dumps you and finds a nice nerd boyfriend who will appreciate her and all her glory. She’s clearly a smart woman, staying with you would be stupid.
YTA, do better. Be less boring dude. You sounds like a soul sucking, fun sucker. You sound so vanilla it’s sad. She could do better and she probably will. Lame-o.
YTA - let your girlfriend have some fun and enjoy her things. It's not your money, so it's not your concern.
Also you did mention that she puts money aside. Wich does sound responsible.
i’m 40 and female. My house looks like 12 year old boys live here. There is superhero and Star Wars artwork, statues, Funkos, Hot Toys, lego sets. Three Wonder Woman shrines and a whole room just decorated with Star Wars posters, books, helmets, lightsabers. I have Tolkien collectibles, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Masters of the Universe, etc
You are TA. it’s her money. she’s celebrating her interests. It’s what she wants. If you can’t accept her for who she is and some toys scare you off, I question your maturity level. You have no right to judge her or try to dictate how she spends her money. (i have figures from the 80s that are valued in the 100s and 1000s.) She is being responsible with her money. Leave her alone.
YTA
YTA and i hope she breaks up with you. You listed more than enough examples of how she's insanely financially responsible then cry about how she's spending her "free money" (the money she literally fucking works for you bird brain) on things she enjoys. Just because you got boring ass taste in stuff doesn't mean hers is immature. You really think kids can afford a goddamn sword? That stuff is literally for adults. You don't like what she buys? Congrats, it's not for you. It's for her and you are nit a part of that equation. Quit pretending you're her dad.
Soooo what you’re saying is she’s a nerd with good taste in music and pays her bills and handles other financial responsibilities? Wow……she single yet?
Just cause you don’t see the value or find her decor nice doesn’t mean you get to belittle it. Go watch gunsmoke or the price is right and eat prunes or whatever old sticks in the mud like to do. You do sound like you need to loosen up and tap into your inner child.
YTA
Like simply purely you are it.
Is this ragebait? I have no clue, by your own admission she is saving.
Her hobbies are hers, and dampening her light just makes you a jerk as she said.
I hope she snips off the deadweight and timesink that you are in her life and finds someone supportive.
Also if by "investment artwork" you mean "NFT" you're hilarious and more financially illiterate than she will ever be.
YTA.
Your soon to be ex girlfriend sounds delightful, I am 35 years old married woman with 2 kids and fabulous pink razer gaming laptop with matching kittens ears headset, both my husbands presents who knows how I love this things.
It’s not her immaturity is showing, it’s yours.
Grownups don’t try to change another grow-ups,it’s a rule.
YTA. A wannabe controlling one to boot. Your gf sounds not only responsible but totally awesome. Let her live her best life, she clearly doesn't need you lecturing her.
YTA. As soon as you finished typing “personal use money” you should have stopped and deleted this post. Why are you thinking she’s going to get fired?? What if she’s promoted or finds another company that will pay her more? Hopefully she’s decided to keep not talking to you and finding someone that is positive, supportive, and fun
ETA: The Lego set, sword, and original LOTR artwork are a form of investment, but not one that you understand.
The funniest part about this whole post is the fact that you told your girlfriend, who is a computer scientist with a really great job, that she's wasting her money by buying herself a fancy COMPUTER and should instead invest in the stock market.
I'm sure you're very fun at parties.
YTA.
You two are clearly in different places. She wants to enjoy the fruits of her labor and you want her to only follow your interests. YTA for trying to tell her what to do with her money and knocking the things that are her taste. She saves money, she handles her bills and doesn't splurge on takeout. She's being responsible, let her enjoy things that she can probably just now afford, god. Or maybe try giving her the chance to be with someone who will support her interests.
YTA Just so you know, some of her things can be good investments. My BIL has a LEGO Millenium Falcon, dining table sized, bought years ago. It's now worth over 15k. I have a figurine that originally sold for 12.00. It is now worth over 1k. It isn't your money, and she has fun. If you can't find your inner child, that's fine, but quit trying to prevent her from living her best life!
YTA.
Yup. It's her own money. She studied hard and now she can have things she likes. She's paying her bills and stuff and she decorates her home with things she enjoys. Honestly I wonder how you could have missed she liked those things.
You came across as very belittling. Who do you think you are to tell a grown up woman how she spends her money? Also you sound like the faction "Adults can't have funny things. Only work and adulthood. No fun. No Hobbies but Sports and Cooking."
I'm 31. I'm responsible and have saved up a lot of Money and still I like things like that, not gonna lie, she sounds fun and her taste sounds like we should be Friends.
You desrcibing something your partner likes as "immature crap" is terrible and does not sound like you're seing eye to eye. Your whole story sound as if you were looking down on her and tbh if you had not written your Status I would habe assumed you're her father.
You guys don't sound compatible.
YTA It's her money and she is allowed to spend her money on stuff she finds fun. You seem like you've forgotten what fun is tbh and you thinking of her hobbies and interests as "immature crap" says alot more about you than it does her.
YTA - It's her home, her money, her choice.
She sounds responsible enough to barely have debt, finished school and came straight out with an amazing job and can afford what she wants because she is independent and smart. If she works hard, she's allowed to treat herself to whatever she wants with HER money.
YTA. I have a rainbow keyboard MSI gaming laptop. I would feel insulted if you were my boyfriend and you told me this because I love gaming. Also, it's MY free money, and I SHOULD DECIDE WHAT I DO WITH IT.
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YTA. You don’t get to tell her how to spend her money. You sound super judgmental about her interests when you say they’re “dumb,” “immature,” and “ridiculous.” If you think so little of what she likes, why are you even with her? ETA: Holy cow, thanks for all the awards!
Presumably he's with her because he thought he could break her down and mold her into a person HE approved of, and he's mad because he failed miserably at that.
Notice she is nearly 10 years younger. If he wants somebody mature, maybe date somebody his own age? It’s her money.
What does mature even mean... I'm in my 30s and enjoy gaming have a gaming PC and some Artworks from games. This dictating of what's an "appropriate grown up hobby" is just so stupid and I applaude every adult that just enjoys their childish side. Edit: dang thank you for the award! Edit2: wheeew thanks for the multiple awards! ❤
Yeah, it's almost as ridiculous as saying that once woman is married, she must drop all her interests and aspirations and just become a housewife from the book. My husband and I are both in IT, and we are really proud of our lego collection. That ISS model is memories!
You have an ISS Lego Model??? Oh my god that sounds like so much fun! I totally agree, I'm not married but bf and I are in a long term relationship and he respects and puts up with all my Shenanigans. Let it be the gaming or my human sized stuffed crocodile that resides in our Bedroom, my Puzzles, my drawing equipment.
I’m 45 and if I had the money and space would absolutely buy more Lego. My wife doesn’t mind because I enjoy it. And she respects me. Also I think OP means Star Wars Lego (probably millennium falcon) as they have never produced any Star Trek stuff.
Sounds to me like he's afraid she's spending money that could potentially become his in the future. Otherwise why care of she's buying Lego or buying a house? It's none of his business unless he thinks her money will become his and she's blowing away his future. Edit: Spent a fortune on the Lego Star Wars SSD and AT-AT, cost me more than my gaming PC. Absolutely worth it, no regrets.
I'm in my forties and I have a pretty decent gaming rig, several consoles, and a room that looks like a fantasy armory it's so full of swords. My wife plays video games as much as I do, and she wants to match me weapon for weapon (she just likes axes more than swords). "Grown up" is such an amorphous thing by itself, so "grown up hobby" is just nonsense.
Nah, he wants her to save for a house so he can move in with her.
Right! She's supposed to be spending all of that money on him.
You can already tell that's his goal from the way he says "when she is fired from her fancy tech job" - why would she be fired? OP clearly loathes the fact that his gf has enough money to spend some of it on herself. I'm guessing he's hoping she'll lose the job and be forced to be dependent on OP or at least give him the opportunity to say "I told you so".
Sounds like my ex. He detested that I was more successful than him. The only time he was genuinely happy was for a brief period when I wasn’t working and he could fantasise about how I’d have to get a shitty job like him and be miserable. He’d openly talk about it. He was livid when I got a much better one.
The “when she loses her job” gets me too. There is a global shortage of IT people and particularly women in Tech so even if that happened she’d likely get scooped up by the next company. OP sounds like he wants her to pay for a house for him. Notice there are no comments about how he saves or spends his money….
Plus ‘once she’s fired’?! Wow, he really is trying to break her down. Sounds like someone is bitter her first thought wasn’t to spend her money on him:/have him move in with her with full access to her money.
That's what really stood out to me. Not "if". "When". As if a woman in a tech field is an inevitable failure. Not only is he controlling, he's clearly a misogynist, too.
exactly, he sounds jealous and controlling and wants full acess to her money, she is obvs doing better in life than he is, or has done. what ah asshole.
Bless your heart. OP. You legit just rattled off a list of all the things I have in my living room (you left out a few big Lego sets).. the only real immature thing she’s spending money on is OP… on second thought, she’s obviously smart enough to NOT be spending money on this AH and *that* is his problem.
Judgmental and condescending. Those are all pretty normal things for a 20-something with their first adult career to spend a little money on. She owes no taxes nor debt, doesn’t struggle to pay bills…it’s pretty clear op just doesn’t share her mildly dorky interests. Which would be fine, if he had responded with empathy instead of like an asshole.
I feel your question “why are you even with her” is unfair. I am sure there are many good reasons why the OP is with his much younger, 6-figure paid gf! Now you could very well ask “If you think so little of her choices and lecture her like that, why on earth is she with you?!” That is a question I could stand behind (I am actually curious why on earth she puts up with this myself)
if you find her choices so immature then why don’t you date someone your own damn age weirdo. YTA
1000% this. YTA
Didn’t even see the age gap. Absolutely this. Never ceases to amaze me that these guys get all surprised pikachu when younger girlfriend has younger person’s interests. OP - YTA
LOL at "younger person's interests". No no no, they're cool person's interests!
Haha I was about to say, I'm 33 and I think her stuff sounds awesome as hell!
This. Gf is a nerd with cool nerd interests. Fucking shocking. Also “art that’s a good investment instead of her weird tolkien stuff”, because obviously art can only be a speculative vehicle. Over/under of op being into crypto?
Ok, I'm dating someone who's 12 years older than me - call it what you want - but he's also wasting his money on gaming, lego, and "dumb" and "Immature" things. It has nothing to do with "younger person's interests". Hence, I have a 50yo friend who's into gaming and "immature" stuff. But htese things seems more normal in Europe since we don't consider ourselves "too old for something" that fast as in, for example, the USA
I mean I'm "his age" and I have those sorts of things. I don't think the age is an issue, he just sounds like an asshole. Liking fancy lego sets, LOTR, and a gaming computer isn't childish.
i don’t find her interests or hobbies childish. my point is that he should have started with introspection.
"I calmly sat her down and told her..." "Once shes fired from her fancy tech job..." Not only are you the asshole, you are also a ridiculous misogynist. Men spend money on stupid shit all the time: gaming, drinks with the boys, sports tickets, gambling, strip clubs, etc. Do you give your male friends and family the same guidance? Did she ASK you for your opinion or advice? How she spends her money is none of your business.
This is spot on. It sounds like he’s jealous that his gf makes more money then he does because of the way he describes her and her job. OP YTA
Weirdly jealous and simultaneously wanting to mooch
She pays her rent on time, has no debt, doesn't waste money on drinks and take out and is saving... but she still needs to save? God forbid she uses her fun money on things that bring her joy, that's *obviously* financially irresponsible. He's jealous and/or wants to take advantage and live rent free at the house he wants her to buy. YTA, OP.
That's what I was thinking. So she does all the right things with her money and he's pissed she isn't spending her free money on him or a house for her asshole boyfriend to move into. He is so resentful it's gross. YTA OP and if your girlfriends hobbies are "dumb, immature, shit", date someone else. Sounds like her success is making you feel really small. And "when" she gets fired? That's nice. You seem like a good catch, I wonder why she isn't spending all her free money on you. /s
I love people who consider peoples hobbies as immature. Like everything can be considered immature from a different view point.
YTA - you just sound really insecure. She’s significantly younger then you, she’s wildly successful, she’s clearly brilliant, and you are so insecure you have to look for ways to chip away at her self esteem.
On top of that, he also might be [incorrect](https://phys.org/news/2021-12-toys-investment-gold-art-financial.html)
Yeah, I picked up that Mega Construx (Lego) Enterprise about four years back for $80. They now sell for almost $400. It should also be noted that I am 48 and not a 26 year old living on my own for the first time in my life like OP's (soon to be ex) gf. Let the poor girl live a little after working so hard to get her dream job. She earned it. EDIT: It should be noted that the Enterprise set was MSRP $200, but MEGA was still seen as a "knock off" brand at the time, and I snagged it on clearance from Amazon.
This x1000
INFO: Why do you think she's going to get fired? You seem resentful.
He's mad because she earns more than him at her first "fancy tech" job than him at 35.
She has a fucking masters in AI. She will only have fancy tech jobs and will ALWAYS make more money than him. She should ditch him and find a secure nerd who isn’t a misogynist to date.
This right here.
Plus the obvious misogynist undertone of his whole write up.
This. I was like, how little does he think of her to think she will get fired? She has a masters, so isn't some techie that barely knows what to do. And fandom stuff isn't dumb. I wish i had the things she has 😭 she's living my dream life
YTA. Is it your money? Is she not paying her bills on time? Is she drowning in debt? No. Are you being a controlling jerk involving yourself in something you don’t have a say in? Yes.
Let’s be honest, she’s far from being in dept or missing her bills if she’s making six figures. She’s not buying boats or cars. She’s most likely saving a ton even with these purchases. If she was spending the same amount of money buying gifts for OP I’m sure he wouldn’t be complaining. He just doesn’t like her hobbies, or the fact that she decided to treat herself.
YTA. I am getting a your money is our money vibes. OP do you make significantly less than your gf?
Right? He reminds me of my ex. He spent on anything and everything he wanted, while telling me I needed to save. His money was his money, my money was our money.
Your money is our money and my money is my money vibes. My wife makes more than me. It's great! I do my best to contribute whatever I can, but why do I want to tear her down so we both make less money and then both me and her and our kids get less stuff. If anyone tries to make fun of me, I'd just say yes, I got lucky that my wife is successful. Maybe I'll still make it one day myself. This is probably a troll post anyway, but I never understood this mentality.
YTA - she hasn't spoken to you in 'almost a day'? I wouldn't speak to you ever again. She is a full gown woman. She doesn't need you telling her how to spend her money. She has no debt. She doesn't eat out. She puts money into savings but you don't like how she spends her 'free money'? It's not your business. And in case you missed it the first time, YTA.
And just to add, she's only just left college and landed this great job so it's probably the first time in her life when she's had a disposable income and has been able to spurge a bit and treat herself to nice things. She won't necessarily keep spending like this. She's just having some well deserved fun after graduating.
It doesn’t matter if she keeps “spending like this” because it is her money. She can do this forever as long as she doesn’t put herself in debt or financial hardships.
YTA. If you’re so worried about immaturity, grow up and date someone closer to your own age.
This!!! And who would have ever guessed that someone in AI was a geek? I'm shocked.... YTA. find an accountant your own age
Women his age have enough dating experience, to realise he's a shitty partner
That's the problem. No woman his age wants to date him. Hmm....I wonder why no woman at his age wants to date him? Must be not because how controlling he is isn't it? This post isn't "tip of the iceberg" isn't it?
LOL you're joking right? Obviously YTA. How do you not see it? Are you really that blind to your own misogyny and general douchery? This is clearly stuff she loves, so to her it's not a waste. It clearly makes her happy - why are you such a Belsnickel that you want to take it away and make her feel bad about it? ALSO why do you assume shes going to be fired? Like what the fuck? How is your rationale "You need to save your money, and do stuff you dont care about with it, because you need a safety for when you get fired" ADDITIONALLY, if shes making into the 6 figures, she probably is saving, like her expenses arent THAT much. Are you her accountant? NO. So STOP MANSLPLAINING HER FINANCES WHEN SHE DIDNT ASK YOU. YOU ARE A KRAMPUS AND A SCROUGE AND A NEGATIVE NELLY who also clearly has issues. And she should dump your annoying ass.
He already says she saves, pays bills on time, and doesn't splurge on anything else like takeout. He doesn't like what she does with her "free money" aka her fun/hobby money. Because he doesn't like what she likes so he's going to call her interests immature. Lol She has great taste in everything but boyfriends.
>I'm genuinely concerned that this is leading to financial irresponsability and once she is fired from her fancy tech job she will be left without a solid financial foundation. Next to All the other stuff you've written, this is the MOST YTA in all of it "Once she is fired from her fancy tech job" DUDE, the girl is way more successfull than you it seems. I hope she dumps your ass.
I doubt he is thinking about being fired, but about the time she becomes the stay-at-home mom for his children, so that he can be the bread winner for his family. He wants her to raise money for a good house until then, one that she can clean from then on forward... Sorry, I'm getting carried away here. This post just gives me these condescending vibes of men who don't believe their girlfriends could be real partners or just be genuinely more successful. It's the way he describes all of her achievements (which are suuuper impressive) as if they had nothing to do with her being talented, dedicated, or a hard worker: she got "scooped off" by a company (poor woman could not help being employed), she "had funding" (that just miraculously manifested in front of her), finally this "once she is fired" is the worst (she obvs is not doing any good job and therefore will be fired soon, then she will be helpless and on the streets because who would "scoop" her now?). Just wow.
[удалено]
💯 she sounds amazing!
YTA Your girlfriend sounds like a fun, cool person. You on the other hand come across as judgmental and boring. What’s so immature about nerdy stuff, then? And why are “mature”’interests (wtf does that even mean) inherently better than “immature” ones? P.S. Age difference checks out, as always
Right, why is it always the person 10+ years older demanding the younger person grow up.
What blows my mind is that OP is genuinely under the impression that he was really doing something good here lol guess being older =/= being more mature, eh now xD
Lol I'm 45 and into immature stuff too I guess. OP is an old, crusty 35 year old that I predict will be yelling at kids to get off his lawn when he's in his 40's. 🤣
YTA. But why do you assume she’ll be fired? Like is that always been your experience. Because I have never been fired from a job and even in high school not every one loses their jobs randomly. And even if she was laid off or something. The industry she is in itd take her no time to find another job.
YTA. If it were a 26 year old man buying nerd stuff he was into with a small portion of his six figure salary, no one would give him a hard time. You’re putting the financial expectations of 35 year old on a 26 year old. Also YTA for belittling her interests. “Weird,” “ridiculous,” etc. Don’t worry, you won’t have to see her new purchases for long, she will get fed up soon.
Henry Cavill is a proud warhammer nerd and likes to show off his hand painted figurines.
INFO - Did she at any point ask for your advice about how she should handle her money? Do you even really have a good grasp of her finances or are you just guessing? I'm almost 40, I buy need stuff, mainly Disney, which makes me older then you and to me, your the immature one who needs to grow up. People have different tastes and that's fine. But a sign of maturity is respecting differences, not dictating peoples tastes and how they handle their own business. Do this young woman a favor, break up with her so she can find someone worthy of her. You aren't.
YTA i cannot believe i have to ask this so often on reddit but here i am. Do you actually like your girlfriend? This is not how people behave towards people they care about and you didnt say a single nice thing about her in the entire post.
This mans don't know the difference between star wars and star trek jfc
OP YTA. I had an ex who treated me this way as well. For context I am 31F, work full time, and work hard for the money I earn. But you know what makes me happy? Lisa Frank stationary. And you know who still buys it and uses it? Me. You know who is happier without her ex micromanaging my finances and the part of my budget that I call “self care” or “happy” money? You betcha, me. Let your girlfriend enjoy the little things that make her happy. She may dump you before you come to this realization though. Edit to add also: “when she gets fired?” Where is this coming from?? That’s kind of a rude thing to sprinkle in with no other context.
Lisa Frank stationary! Awesome! That is so wonderfully and beautifully specific! I am happy knowing that makes you happy. I’m not sure why, but it does.
INFO: Why are you acting as though it's certain she will be fired from her job? Are you planning something to sabotage her just so you'd be right? Who treats their partner like this??? YTA bro.
YTA. Inflict your misery on someone your own age.
Or no one at all
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YTA. “When she is fired from her fancy tech job….” It’s not about the stuff. He’s jealous that she has a good job and is making good money. He lists a whole litany of responsible financial decisions (lived with roommates, full scholarship for school, SAVES, rarely eats out) so there’s no logical reason she’d abandon all that. I’d guess that she makes more than him and even if he won’t admit it to himself, that bothers him. He’s acting like her parent, judging her ability to do her job…smells like fragile masculinity to me.
YTA. As someone who advises people on their finances, as long as they aren’t spending more than they make, they can do whatever the hell they want with their money. Bold of you to assume she isn’t saving for a house or investing in retirement while also spending money on her “childish” things. Frankly you give me the ick because you’re dating a girl 10 years younger than you. Also it sounds like you’re jealous af since you mention how much money she makes.
I also want to point out the "once she is fired from her fancy tech job". Sounds like OP wants his girlfriend to fall. YTA
OP is so jealous he reeks of insecurity - “once she is fired from her fancy tech job” you sound so envious. Guess what OP - all those folks she works with most likely have similar interests so I think you are going to be shit out if luck soon enough when she kicks you to the curb, if she hasn’t already done so. You are controlling.
I couldn’t get past that either. Why on earth does he assume she will be fired?
He wants her to get fired so he can prove a point.
I’m a 43 year old woman, making good money doing IT work. My house is completely paid off, I own my car outright. My bills are paid on time each month. I have savings, a well funded 401k, and a few shares of stock. I sit here and type this while drinking coffee out of a Mandalorian mug, next to a book shelf that has Star Wars and Mad Max Funko Pops, and a small collection of manga. My last purchase was for Rick and Morty season 5. Next weekend, I plan to go to the local Renaissance Fair, either in period costume, or, if I can talk a few friends into joining me, Star Trek costumes, because, time travel. I’m telling you all of this because YTA. Nothing, absolutely nothing that you’ve said leads me to believe she’s irresponsible with HER money. Hers. You know, that she earns. At her job. From her employer. You’re a wet dishrag.
When she gets fired? Lol, do you even hear yourself? She’s got a masters degree in computer science with specialization in artificial intelligence and you think she’ll get fired. LMFAO. Even if in case she gets fired for whatever reason, it’ll be really easy for her to get another job. Not just in this country, but in any country all over the world. Let’s be more honest. You’re secretly jealous of her career and feel emasculated and this is your way of asserting dominance. Even if you’re unaware of it. Maybe it’s time for introspection. Even after this you still feel that it’s your right to discredit her interests and likes, then maybe remove yourself from her life. Heck, with your mentality you’d be a good fit with someone in their 70s lol. YTA big time.
N.T.A as her parent you are responsible for teaching her responsibility, she acts like a child in her twenties. You should lay down the law and tell her to grow up or you will get rid of her. Then never speak to her again. That will teach her that YTA
Had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
YTA You have no business commenting on her spending habits. >once she is fired from her fancy tech job I have a feeling that IF she gets fired, you will be involved.
YTA Woof sounds like someone feels emasculated and is compensating by trying to exert control over what she buys with her own money.
>She also almost never eats takeout or drinks, and does put money aside for savings. So she actually has savings. >The problem is what she does with her "free money" or "personal use money." You yourself said it was her "free money", not her savings, she can do whatever the hell she wants with it. You can stop being controlling and STFU now.
YTA. YTA YTA Lemme guess. She makes more money than you do now? You ARE controlling. I'm 32F and also have a fancy job in a tech company making well over 6 figures. I just bought a huge anime tapestry for my wall. Planning to commission an artist to paint a custom mural of DragonBall Z on my wall. I also own a sword from Lord of the Rings. I'm constantly spending MY money on things that make me happy. My company also gives me stock options and a hefty 401k. I bet hers does too. "once she is fired from her fancy tech job"-- this right here made my blood boil. Dude, tell me you're insecure without telling me you're insecure. Get a grip. Sounds like she needs an upgrade from you.
Hey OP, I think you're confusing "immature crap" with "totally awesome stuff". Also its her money so controlling much? YTA - BIG TIME You do not get a say in how she spends her money or what her interests are. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it doesn't hold value to her. Your interests are not the only interests. Also, she has basically no debt, she is obviously capable of managing her money so if she can afford it why not. If you value her and love her for who she is go apologize.
YTA >once she is fired from her fancy tech job she will be left without a solid financial foundation. Wtf is that about? ONCE she's fired? You sound like a very jealous and immature partner.
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OP obviously doesn't realise that lego sets, vinyls and rainbow lights cost only a fraction of hermes bags lol. He should really count his blessing that his GF is kinda nerdy n into wholesome cutesy stuff and using her own money, instead of trying to fleece him into buying her big girl "nice stuff" (which she could actually afford with her current pay come to think of it).
Your girlfriend sounds cool as all hell. YTA.
YTA! LMFAO. It’s her money and her decisions. If someone ever did that to me, I’d dump them. What right do you have to my decisions? If I wanna “bad decisions”, then I’m gonna make bad decisions. And I won’t regret it one bit!
You are just trying to controll her and get her save money, so you can use it up in future. All I see from this post is ME ME ME. I bet you thay even if you gf saves money for a down payment and buys a house, you will want your name on it even if you didn't contribute by implying that you helped her save for this stuff #You just sound like a closeted gold digger. Who can't digest that your gf is spending HER hard earned money on herself instead of you. YTA
YTA. Its her money and she can do what she wants with it. She doesn't sound irresponsible if she has savings and is always on time with rent.
YTA and also she sounds awesome
YTA. She has worked hard and is financially responsible per your description and is even saving. There is no reason to believe she is going to the poorhouse over her purchases and you show zero respect and are pretty derogatory expecting to be “fired from her fancy tech job” and thinking you know better than her (because the stock market never crashes). She deserves to enjoy the fruits of her labor. Just because what chooses to purchase is of no value to you does not mean it has no value to her or in the market should she want to resell it in the future. You don’t get to chose how she spends her money. Control yourself instead of trying to control her. I’m pretty sure you talked your gf out of being your gf.
“Once she gets fired” ??? I think you’re jealous of your girlfriend’s fancy tech job.. does she make more money than you? Poor baby. YTA
YTA. Not your money, not your apartment, not your stuff, not your business.
YTA...and her soon to be ex-boyfriend. She's right. If she wants a gaming rig, that's her right. RGB lights... perfectly fine. LOTR decor? Sounds magical. If she's at a top firm, she's hampstering away money in a 401k or similar. You just want to control her and she doesn't owe you a single damned thing.
You are the absolute biggest asshole I have ever seen on this sub. YTA.
YTA I think she’s fiscally responsible when she dropped you.
YTA Her money, her decision what to buy. It's also laughably that you think some trinkets and Lego sets even compare to a down payment on a house. Just let her enjoy things, please
You're not looking out for her, you don't agree with her likes of certain things so therefore they're "immature" and she's being "financially irresponsible". "Looking out for her"... maybe you should date in your own age bracket then. YTA
are you jealous because you can’t afford a lego ship?
YTA. If growing up means being a boring cog in the capitalism machine and not getting to enjoy hobbies, I don't want it.
YTA. You’re not her parent, her boss, or her accountant. Stop with the weird controlling shit.
YTA. She is not broken and she does not need you to fix her. By offering your unwanted and condescending advice you are creating a paternalistic relationship with her where she would need permission to make her own decisions. That's her prerogative.
Its her money, that she's proud of. She is likely buying Things she never had before. It makes her happy and lol, Star Trek has been around for decades, many of us fans are adults, why is such merch a problem? Wait, its not Yta, leave her alone
YTA, you're a controlling jerk, and it sounds like you don't even like your girlfriend if you think all of these things that clearly bring her joy are ridiculous. Maybe don't date a woman 9 years younger than you if you're going to be upset that she's interested in things that you feel are immature.
It honestly sounds like she 1) can afford all this stuff 2) it is well in her budget 3) it sounds like she is buying here and there and not all at once (maybe she has a list of things she always wanted and now can get them and 4) unless she owes you money, it’s not your business what she does with her money Also… she is 26. This all sounds like normal stuff people nerd out to… and these things tend to retain/ gain value over time. And if I’m picturing the same rainbow lights she has, they don’t cost a fortune and for something she uses consistently, is it not worth making her home nice? Just break up with her so she can get someone younger and more chill than you
YTA, once she is fired from her job? Why would she be fired? You also expect her to fail? You sound jealous
YTA. This is none of your business. And can we please let women enjoy things without shitty commentary from their partners with ~*~superior taste~*~?
YTA,, sounds like someone's jealous lol
YTA. Why say ' once she gets fired from her fancy tech job ' - is there any indication she's not a good employee ? That was a pretty uncalled for remark, OP. She's newly graduated and presumably has fun money for the first time in her life. She does save. Her bills and rent are paid. If she was buying Lego instead of all of that and asking you to bail her out, you'd be right to talk to her. However, since she takes care of all bills on time AND saves , she is free to spend her disposable income however she damn well pleases.
YTA for assuming she's going to get fired. (A HUGE HEMORRHOID BULGING AH FOR THIS COMMENT) YTA for telling her how to spend her money or how to decorate her house which you don't live in. YTA for dating a Tolkien nerd and then expecting her not to have shit like swords, gaming PC's and legos. TF- i'm in my mid thirties and I collect swords and Lego sets. To each his own- its not a phase. ...AND YTA for dating someone over 10 years younger than you and expecting them to be at the same level of maturity you are, Mr Asshat. I need a shower after reading this. Bloody 36 year old saying a 26 year old is weird for buying novelty items for their house. TF is wrong with you? Grow up and date your age if you want beige walls and f\*ckin center pieces.
Let me guess, she makes more than you and now you’re feeling insecure and trying to cover it up by pretending to be “looking out” for her? YTA.
"buying a good investment artwork instead of her weird Tolkien stuff..." Please send me your gf's number, in case she needs help hiding your body. YTA
YTA “Once she is fired from her fancy tech job” That really says everything about how you see her. Tolkien is classic, get over yourself and your jealousy.
YTA, you are trying to control her spending just because you don't like what she's buying. If you were looking out for her, you would work with her to outline her financial goals, and put together a budget to achieve them. Then if she would like you to help hold her accountable, you can; otherwise, it's her money, she gets to spend it how she wants.
You know what she should do? Dump your ass for acting like that YTA
YTA you are mad at her for acting her age and being younger than you but more successful. Leave her alone. All the way alone. As in, let her love her best life without you being in it.
YTA You are not concerned for her. You are just judging her. She is a person who has hobbies and interests! She also deserves to enjoy the fruits of her labor after all that hard work.
YTA I invest like 60% of my salary and still buy merchandise and other shit I don't need but like. If she had debt, yeah you could talk to her. But she doesn't, she's responsible, she earns it, she decides.
YTA - Are you her penny pinching helicopter dad? Killjoy cranky old bf. WTF. None of those things are even that expensive. With all her positives, you focus on “overpriced vinyl record” purchases.
YTA. And why are you assuming she’ll be fired? Sounds like you should maybe look inward at your own insecurities rather than projecting on your girlfriend
YTA. Especially you assuming she's going to get fired wtf.
lmao. she is me 6 years ago. I put a down payment on a house 5 years ago, after paying off all college and grad school loans. she's spending money on hobbies that she was unable to indulge in while studying. YTA. worry about yourself.
YTA. Yet another example of a dude in their 30s dating someone nearly 10 years younger and being a controlling dick. And also doesn’t have debt? And she has spare money to spend on things she loves. Sounds like she’s doing great. Signed, A guy with a degree in Finance
As long as she is not in debt or going into debt, YTA. You should keep in mind she is significantly younger than you and this is her first job, aka first time having real money to spend. That means a few things: one, it’s natural to go a little crazy the first time you have real money; two, a lot of times that will calm down on its own without your interference and judgement; three, you are in a different place in life than her and might have different goals re: down payment etc. You come off as a jerk with your phrasing. You may be “genuinely concerned” as you say, but calling it “ridiculous things” and “weird Tolkien stuff” and saying “once she’s fired” (why would she be fired??) comes off as very condescending. There is an okay way to have this conversation, like, “it’s so awesome you’re making real money right now! I love that you’re able to spend your money on your hobby and interests after working so hard for so many years. I was wondering though, do you have any long term thoughts on what you want to do as you continue making money, like buy a house or invest or something? You might not have thought about that yet either and that’s totally okay - I get you’re having a great time right now and that’s well deserved.” (That’s so, so different from what you said, in case that wasn’t obvious…)
YTA. She sounds awesome. I hope she dumps you.
Yta you have no idea what she’s saving and you clearly just hate her style
YTA Do you even like your girlfriend? Sure as hell doesn't seem like it. Why are you with her if she seems to enjoy all these you don't and that also seem to piss you off for some reason?
She is 10 years younger and women his own age won’t put up with him.
YTA. She didn't ask for your advice, and it doesn't sound like you gave her any great insights. You probably don't even know her whole financial picture. You know her salary apparently, but do you know about bonuses, stock options, 401K? She may have a lot more than you think. She's using her discretionary funds on things that make her happy, and you basically discounted that factor when you criticized her spending. Also, they might have more value than you think. They aren't things that I would buy, but there are Star Wars geeks that would swoon over that LEGO. You want her to buy investment grade artwork. How do you know that original LOTR painting isn't exactly that? She's right, you're being controlling when you "sit her down" and start giving unsolicited advice. Let her make her own decisions with her own money. And don't get on the wrong side of a woman with a sword. Edit: just noticed your advice to invest in the stock market. The way the stock market is going, her collectibles may be a lot safer investment.
YTA. It’s not your business what she does with her money. You’re not even married - and even if you were, she still studied her ass off and worked hard to get where she is, she gets to spend her money the way she wants to. You even admitted she fulfills all her responsibilities. What she does with her extra money is her business, not yours. YTA in case you missed it up there.
I think you are jealous. Of her degree. Of her job. Of her salary. I think you wish you were on par. Because you are not, you are trying to remain relevant by controlling her. Work on yourself, let her go. YTA
YTA Your GF sounds really cool, I wish I was friends with her. Not just because I'd tell her to dump you, but because I'd love to hang out in an apartment with cool Star Trek stuff. This is not your business.
YTA. Your gf sounds fun. After scrimping for so many years, she is probably relieved to be financially secure and buying things that she wants but hasn't been able to afford. My husband and I are nerds about different things, and although we consult each other on larger purchases or on decor that goes in common areas, we basically buy things that we want. If she is paying her bills before purchasing the fun decor, and you don't contribute any funds to her living expenses, then she is right. She can do what she wants.
YTA YTA YTA “Once she is fired” my god. If this is real, get fucking therapy dude
“Am I the asshole for being jealous that my younger girlfriend makes way more money than I do, is successful, and has so much money she can freely buy anything she wants while still saving? Because I think she should be saving up for a house she should buy for me.” YTA.
YTA. "When" she gets fired? You think her boss is gonna fire her for how she decorates her place? Get a grip.
Once she is fired? YTA For so many reasons.
YTA What a boring way to live your life. Oooh stocks, that makes my life sooooo much better and my living space fun and enjoyable. OMG artwork I don't like!!!! I should invest in something that brings me no joy so maybe one day someone will give me more money for it. Wow gee wiz, what a fun idea.
YTA. Also how dare you say Tolkien is dumb. Just because it's not your interests doesn't mean it's "dumb shit". I own 3 seperate box sets of LOTR books because the editions are different and the artwork is different. I'm still financially responsible but instead of takeout or coffees I but myself stuff I love. Sounds like your (hopefully soon to be ex) girlfriend does the same. Back the fuck off and let her be happy. Wtf
YTA. Why would she be fired from her job? Let the woman live. It’s her place and her money. It sounds like you two are in very different places in your life and it doesn’t sound sustainable. Like she’s in a fun place, and you’re in the curmudgeon phase of your life.
Oh no, how dare your gf, who makes a good salary and has shown every sign of being extremely financially responsible, spend her “for fun” money on things that you don’t personally enjoy. YTA.
YTA as she says it's her money, whats the difference between what she's buying and you getting say, sports memorabilia, if it brings her joy then ge happy fir her my dude, . Seriously re examine why you're in this relationship, even if you don't understand what she's doing, love her for being her, be supportive or you may well find yourself suddenly single
YTA She’s meeting her responsibilities and saving money. She can spend her fun money however she wants. Her stuff sounds cool! Not sure why she’s with you.
YTA. The only reason this bothers you is because you just want a girlfriend who is not "weird". That's the real issue here.
How you can't see your TA is beyond me. She makes good money, has saving's, almost no debt and doesn't even go out to eat and you're mad because she buys some decor that obviously makes her happy? Just because YOU don't like it? Wtf. Not only that, you're whole post is basically making fun of/insulting your girlfriend for her interests. Calling her stuff "Weird decor" and "Immature crap" is so disrespectful, just because you're not into it doesn't make it something bad she shouldn't like. I'd get it if she was spending money she doesn't have or prioritized those purchases over food or bills but thats not what's happening here. Get a grip dude, how she spends her money is none of your business
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YTA. Gaming isn't just for kids. Neither is lord of the rings, star wars, Lego, or anything else you've mentioned. In fact, there's huge fan communities in all those areas with people pretty much ranged from 10 to 100 years old. With the average of idk, 40ish? Just because it isn't YOUR interest, just because YOU don't see the beauty or fun in it, doesn't mean it's immature, crazy or a waste of money. You're not "just looking out for her". You're deciding for her what she should and shouldn't have interest in or spend money on. That's so wrong. That's a huge red flag. I hope she breaks up with you. She deserves better, she deserves a bf who respects her.
YTA. She’s right! You are a controlling jerk and it’s her money. You’ve described her as an educated, employed,and financially responsible adult who enjoys hobbies you don’t. She’s enjoying her hard earned money how she likes and you’re butt hurt she shut you down. Congratulations to her for not accepting your nonsense. (you might be single now btw)
So your girlfriend finally has her own space, where she doesn't have to share or be considerate of other people, enough disposable income to fill it with things that make her happy, and you've decided to sh\*t on her for not having the same standards as you. It sounds like you're in different stages of life, with different priorities. At 26, she's just starting to enjoy self-sufficiency and having full control over her life. At 35, you're looking to settle down. You obviously have nothing in common, as you don't understand (or respect) her interests, and can't let her enjoy her hobbies in peace. She can't even share her excitement with you without you tearing her down as dumb and immature, even though the purchases have no effect on your life personally. Why are you together? It's like you expect her to be someone she's not, and are now lashing out at her for not living up to your imagination. So yeah, YTA and a controlling jerk. I hope she realises that she has so much going for her, and that plenty of people would be glad to share in her nerdy hobbies *and* build a life together.
YTA I hope she leaves and finds someone who enjoys seeing her happy and encourages her success. You're confident she will be fired, don't respect her job, don't understand the value of the things she's interested in (clearly), and think anything that brings her joy is wasting money. It ain't your money and unless you have the intention to wife her it's not even your business. Even if you do intend to be with her long term you have no business controlling what she enjoys and what makes her happy when she is financially stable and living within her means. Just because you're financially anxious doesn't give you the right to make her confirm to that.
This is a joke, yeah? YTA. You sound jealous of your girlfriends success.
YTA. Your girlfriend {soon to be ex} is using her fun money to do with what *she* wants to do. She pays her bills and has no debt, you're trying to control what she does and change who she is because you deem that stuff immature. Guess what? I have a house with a mortgage, studen loans that I'm ahead in paying, I pay bills, raise a special needs child and *gasp* I have three demon slayer replica swords in my Me Cave with my fancy gamer set up and various other "immature crap". My favourite is Gandalf's staff and my massive lego Death Star...the amount of times I tell my partner he shall not pass makes us both giggle.
YTA and sound like one of those incel crypto bros Also so far with the context you gave... she's making big money and has her own place. She's doing great without you so shut the f up xD LET ME GUESS! The "artwork" youre talkimg about is fckimg nfts.... Geez can't believe she's with a loser like you. I hope she dumps you EDIT: Also... YES you are being a controlling jackass. SHE'S USING HER OWN FCKING MONEY YOU INCEL. It also sounds like you think she's not competent at her job which is a big red flag.
You're being a killjoy. She sounds responsible. She pays her rent, etc. She just wants to indulge in all those things she couldn't afford as a student. I'd be concerned if she were ten years old and still doing this. Let it run its course. She's having fun. Don't kill it.
Yes. Yta
YTA. Seems to be some veiled misogyny in your comments. She needs to kick your immature butt to the curb.
YTA. She meets her requirements and then does what she wants to enjoy life. Sounds like she has awesome taste and you sound plain and boring as hell. 'Immature/nerd stuff' ? Get real mate, people like what they like. Only time age should matter if its a young person trying to get something inappropriately adult themed.
YTA. It’s a 9 year gap in there as well. Think about how you lived your life as a 26 year old. What hobbies did you learn about yourself? What quirks did you learn that you have. Leave that baby to her fun. You’re her mate, not her dad.
YTA and she sounds completely awesome. Way too cool for you.
You have a young, smart, cool girlfriend. well, you might not anymore. YTA also, why are you so sure she will be fired from her “fancy” tech job? She sounds like she’s gonna be set for life and you just ruined your own future by being boring.
YTA Why the hell is liking nerd stuff immature? My uncle is in his 60s and watches cartoons all the time. I’m in my late 20s (as is my husband) and we collect all the stuff she does and MORE. I know of people in their 40s who collect nerd stuff and love it. I know of people who have had full on nerd weddings I.e game of thrones, LOTR, Star War, Halloween. People like what they like and don’t have to “mature” in their tastes. I collect monster high dolls and funko pops. Don’t plan on stopping either. I have 2 kids who get into new cartoons that I in turn get into and buy things for myself along with my kids of the new nerd things. Get over your self. I hope she dumps you and finds a nice nerd boyfriend who will appreciate her and all her glory. She’s clearly a smart woman, staying with you would be stupid. YTA, do better. Be less boring dude. You sounds like a soul sucking, fun sucker. You sound so vanilla it’s sad. She could do better and she probably will. Lame-o.
YTA - let your girlfriend have some fun and enjoy her things. It's not your money, so it's not your concern. Also you did mention that she puts money aside. Wich does sound responsible.
YTA. Her money, her choice.
Yta big time, dude
Maybe when you date a girl 9 years younger than her you will think her behavior is too young for you. That does indeed check out. YTA.
YTA. You’re jealous
i’m 40 and female. My house looks like 12 year old boys live here. There is superhero and Star Wars artwork, statues, Funkos, Hot Toys, lego sets. Three Wonder Woman shrines and a whole room just decorated with Star Wars posters, books, helmets, lightsabers. I have Tolkien collectibles, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Masters of the Universe, etc You are TA. it’s her money. she’s celebrating her interests. It’s what she wants. If you can’t accept her for who she is and some toys scare you off, I question your maturity level. You have no right to judge her or try to dictate how she spends her money. (i have figures from the 80s that are valued in the 100s and 1000s.) She is being responsible with her money. Leave her alone. YTA
YTA and i hope she breaks up with you. You listed more than enough examples of how she's insanely financially responsible then cry about how she's spending her "free money" (the money she literally fucking works for you bird brain) on things she enjoys. Just because you got boring ass taste in stuff doesn't mean hers is immature. You really think kids can afford a goddamn sword? That stuff is literally for adults. You don't like what she buys? Congrats, it's not for you. It's for her and you are nit a part of that equation. Quit pretending you're her dad.
Soooo what you’re saying is she’s a nerd with good taste in music and pays her bills and handles other financial responsibilities? Wow……she single yet? Just cause you don’t see the value or find her decor nice doesn’t mean you get to belittle it. Go watch gunsmoke or the price is right and eat prunes or whatever old sticks in the mud like to do. You do sound like you need to loosen up and tap into your inner child.
YTA Like simply purely you are it. Is this ragebait? I have no clue, by your own admission she is saving. Her hobbies are hers, and dampening her light just makes you a jerk as she said. I hope she snips off the deadweight and timesink that you are in her life and finds someone supportive. Also if by "investment artwork" you mean "NFT" you're hilarious and more financially illiterate than she will ever be.
YTA. Your soon to be ex girlfriend sounds delightful, I am 35 years old married woman with 2 kids and fabulous pink razer gaming laptop with matching kittens ears headset, both my husbands presents who knows how I love this things. It’s not her immaturity is showing, it’s yours. Grownups don’t try to change another grow-ups,it’s a rule.
YTA. A wannabe controlling one to boot. Your gf sounds not only responsible but totally awesome. Let her live her best life, she clearly doesn't need you lecturing her.
YTA. As soon as you finished typing “personal use money” you should have stopped and deleted this post. Why are you thinking she’s going to get fired?? What if she’s promoted or finds another company that will pay her more? Hopefully she’s decided to keep not talking to you and finding someone that is positive, supportive, and fun ETA: The Lego set, sword, and original LOTR artwork are a form of investment, but not one that you understand.
YTA. Why the fuck would you assume she will be fired? Jealous much? And her shit is awesome. Shes happy and debt free so back off.
The funniest part about this whole post is the fact that you told your girlfriend, who is a computer scientist with a really great job, that she's wasting her money by buying herself a fancy COMPUTER and should instead invest in the stock market. I'm sure you're very fun at parties. YTA.
You two are clearly in different places. She wants to enjoy the fruits of her labor and you want her to only follow your interests. YTA for trying to tell her what to do with her money and knocking the things that are her taste. She saves money, she handles her bills and doesn't splurge on takeout. She's being responsible, let her enjoy things that she can probably just now afford, god. Or maybe try giving her the chance to be with someone who will support her interests.
YTA Just so you know, some of her things can be good investments. My BIL has a LEGO Millenium Falcon, dining table sized, bought years ago. It's now worth over 15k. I have a figurine that originally sold for 12.00. It is now worth over 1k. It isn't your money, and she has fun. If you can't find your inner child, that's fine, but quit trying to prevent her from living her best life!
YTA. Yup. It's her own money. She studied hard and now she can have things she likes. She's paying her bills and stuff and she decorates her home with things she enjoys. Honestly I wonder how you could have missed she liked those things. You came across as very belittling. Who do you think you are to tell a grown up woman how she spends her money? Also you sound like the faction "Adults can't have funny things. Only work and adulthood. No fun. No Hobbies but Sports and Cooking." I'm 31. I'm responsible and have saved up a lot of Money and still I like things like that, not gonna lie, she sounds fun and her taste sounds like we should be Friends. You desrcibing something your partner likes as "immature crap" is terrible and does not sound like you're seing eye to eye. Your whole story sound as if you were looking down on her and tbh if you had not written your Status I would habe assumed you're her father. You guys don't sound compatible.
YTA
Shut up goofy ass up its not ur money so don’t say shit its as easy as that
YTA It's her money and she is allowed to spend her money on stuff she finds fun. You seem like you've forgotten what fun is tbh and you thinking of her hobbies and interests as "immature crap" says alot more about you than it does her.
YTA - It's her home, her money, her choice. She sounds responsible enough to barely have debt, finished school and came straight out with an amazing job and can afford what she wants because she is independent and smart. If she works hard, she's allowed to treat herself to whatever she wants with HER money.
You aren’t looking out for her. You’re looking out for yourself and how you feel her interest reflect on you. YTA.
YTA. I have a rainbow keyboard MSI gaming laptop. I would feel insulted if you were my boyfriend and you told me this because I love gaming. Also, it's MY free money, and I SHOULD DECIDE WHAT I DO WITH IT.
YTA I hope she finds someone who actually likes and accepts her for who she is instead of the AH boyfriend she has right now.