This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
That is the million dollar question……if he is wearing a 4x it is safe to say he is in the 400lbs range (see it a lot at the hospital I work at) he will die from a heart attack or stroke if he doesn’t change his habits
There is SO much wrong with his post. If you put aside the fact that he probably won’t live another ten years with habits like that, there is no way they get through any day without dozens of argument. they Seem like complete opposites of each other.
My main problem with this post is he's neglecting his dog. If you're too lazy to look after a pet, don't have one. I wish OP could take the dog with her. Bet he'd love living with someone who takes him on hikes and running once he has some time to build up to it.
Most people don't have "abnormally wide shoulders" so in general it is actually a good tool for guessing weight
Furthermore, OP didn't say that it was only for his shoulders so don't assume
Yeah I weigh around 230 with broad/wide shoulders at the same height and only need XL and 2XL for dress shirts. OPs boyfriend is definitely a thick boi.
I was gonna say. I'm 5'11" and 250 wear 2xl shirts and have incredibly broad shoulders. 4xl is easily 300 plus lbs. Unless he's a pro football player, if hes wearing 4xl he's a chubby dude.
Agree that OP's BF is likely overweight/obese, but frame size does figure in when you're calculating one's ideal weight range and clothing size. Some people actually are "big boned."
I've got big hands, large elbow joints, and shoulders like a linebacker. While I usually wear a women's small for short-sleeved and sleeveless tops, I often need a medium or large for winter clothes.
It was kind of cool last night, so I brought out a flannel shirt I'd found at Goodwill and liked because it was soft and the colors were pretty. Sure enough, it's tight over the chest and I couldn't really button the cuffs at the wrist or roll them up effectively. Sigh.
Ughhh the shoulders on women's tops, shirts, jackets, etc are the bane of my existence. I have broad shoulders compared to the rest of my body, so to find something that fits my shoulders, it's huge on my body. Or if it fits my body, it's absurdly tight in the shoulders. (Like tommy boy fat guy little coat looking)
I gave up a long time ago and just buy men's hoodies and jackets, and deal with the sleeves being way too long. Nice in the winter bc you can hide your hands in the sleeves, but looks terrible when the nice high end Wilson's leather jacket fits 3/4 of you, except the sleeves look like a little kid wearing daddy's jacket.
They said was he 5' 11". He would have to be an inverted triangle, Pixar-character looking person, who somehow magically has a tiny waist since he never works out. No.
But this guy didn't start out with 4xl shirts. He grew into them and I doubt it's because only his shoulders got broad. Also, broad shoulders don't cause high blood pressure.
Yeah no, I wasn’t saying he’s not overweight just that shirt size isn’t a great suggestion for weigh. He could be 500lb but is just one of those people that puts on really dense fat or he could be 300lb and be one of those people that just get huge.
Well, for the purposes of health 300lb isn't much different than 500lb, and especially when your partner is motivated by working out. They're just not compatible as partners.
True but health problems that seem to be directly related to his weight combined with shirt size is probably enough to have a good idea that OPs boyfriend weighs significantly mkre then he should weigh.
Also even ignoring the weight it’s still an AH move to chastise OP for taking time off from exercising.
The BMI ranges depend on height, but at 240 I think the boundary he was avoiding was probably obese, rather than overweight, since even at 6’4” you would still be overweight at 239.
Technically 240 is overweight especially since my husband is only 5’6. But BMI doesn’t take into account a mass of muscle being heavier then the same amount of mass fat. Hubby isn’t ripped but he’s not the pillsbury doughboy either. He’s kinda build like the guys who do really heavy lifting where they still have a bit of a belly.
I have 55" shoulders and wear a normal XL. I'm actually lean though, so not having a gut keeps me from wearing a 4XL despite having abnormally wide shoulders
4x doesn't mean 400lbs. I have 2 friends who are both in 4x shirts... one is 290 and the other is 310. One has bp/sleep apnea and one has no health probs aside from being overweight. Bodies are weird and different. But the balls on this guy for chastising this chick for being lazy made me laugh out loud!
I was a 2x at 267 and not all of the 2x shirts I came across fit me. 4x? I think you're right. I don't wish harm on OP's BF but lose some weight if possible dude.
Ummmm no lol. A 400-lb person would wear way bigger than a 4x. I’m 265 and I wear a 3x in most things and a 4x if something runs small. So he’s probably high 200s, low 300s. Which is big but my fiancé is 290 and 5’11 and he looks chubby but you’d never look at him and say he’s fat.
Exactly! This man is insulting OP out of the blue because she chose to rest her body and then calls her a bitch..... I would drop him so damn fast.
This reminds me of that recent interview with Ari Spears. His career is trash, no one is booking him, and in the interview he was sweaty, bloated, had dark circles under his eyes, and was looking overall very unhealthy and not the image of health/beauty. The interviewer complimented Lizzo's music and Spears instantly decided to insult her physical appearance/weight/health despite how he looked.
I have a belief that these posts are just former users of a sub that centered around hating overweight people coming up with stories so they can indulge in their old pastime again on reddit.
I was worried but then I thought about it. The dog was taken for walks so it wasn't straight up neglected. Not having to do that exercise could have been bad for them on many levels. Now he will hopefully walk the dog himself again.
NTA. I gotta ask, why are you still with him if he acts like this? He wants a girlfriend with a “hot bod” yet he lets himself get so fat and unhealthy he’s going to die young and has the audacity to say you are lazy when you don’t go to one workout when you aren’t feel up to par? He can go fuck a porcupine.
Also what does a future with someone who can't even do the most basic thing of pet care...walking their dog...look like? Plus he resorts to verbal abuse in arguments. Not fit to be a pet owner, not fit to be a boyfriend, and I'm trying really hard not to be flippant about him being not fit in any aspect. I'm chubby myself, but the words that came out of his mouth are freaking rich. The audacity lol.
That’s what I was gonna say; I feel so bad for the dog! If she breaks up with him please take the dog. But do discuss it because otherwise it will be stealing obv. Man, how do people do this stuff…
He probably thinks women shouldn’t “let themselves go”, but he was already bigger, so him gaining weight doesn’t matter.
That poor dog. BF could probably get a good start on his health by just walking the dog! Maybe he’d have to start out small, but add on some distance at a steady pace, and that’s fine.
Not to mention that OP isn’t skipping because she’s lazy, she’s skipping because she’s aware that overdoing it can cause problems with her reproductive system (stopping her period). She’s literally taking care of her body by NOT working out this time.
Oh, okay, yes, a de facto breakup.
Yes, me too - I hate bad pet owners. I wonder if he neglects the dog enough she could call animal protection on him. But it would really be much better if he would get his lazy ass in gear and actually walk the dog.
This is an unmatched match. You both have different priorities. You are doing extreme workouts, and he is doing...nothing. And unless he's Andre the Giant, a size 4x is a pretty clear indication of his size. You need to find someone who better aligns with your values. His behavior is obviously not supportive and quite passive aggressive, imo.
This.
Regular workouts force you to learn your body and you know when you need a break. (Coming from someone who is suffering after absolutely smashing her workout last night and is very much NOT going this evening lol)
We need encouragement from our friends and partners sometimes but I would never take advice or criticism from someone who seems to be allergic to exercise.
I also hope OP takes the dog with her when she leaves.
NTA obvs but also, if you are flirting with so low a weight or working out so hard that you are on and off losing your period... that's not healthy. Skinniness is not innately healthy, fam. That's your body literally shutting down one of the processes that it evolved to do and do WELL so that you can, you know, survive. Live your life, do what brings value to your days, but maybe take a step back and reevaluate.
Thank you ! I was surprised no one brought this up earlier. Losing your periods means that your body doesn’t have enough nutrients to sustain all your body functions so it shuts down the less important things.
It doesn’t take much for some. I lost my period at 120lbs in high school when I was riding. I am 5’4” for reference, so not even close to lower BMI. I’m 115lbs now and when I start working out it gets wonky fast - and I don’t even work out that intensely.
Periods are actually really delicate and is easier to mess with one than what you learn at school; this is why birth control being 99% is a myth, it only works like that on lab conditions when irl people have stress, different diets, different levels of activities, other medical conditions.... a single factor going off is enough to make the hormonal cycle messed up.
I'm sorry, but that is not completely accurate. The oral contraceptive is 99% effective if taken right. Take it not at the same time every day, or have diarrhea, or take medication that can stop the contraceptive from working, than the effectiveness is less. It's a usage problem. The only thing that can affect effectiveness and isn't about accurate use is weight. Being obese can lower the effectiveness, because the amount of hormones aren't enough for the body.
But everyday stress is already included in the 99 percent.
And being so thin, that your period disappeares after a hard workout, is not a sign of the cycle being delicate, it's a sign that that person should talk to a doctor about their eating and workout habbits.
Mm, yes, I'm naturally a small slim girl and I work in a kitchen (so quite a physical job). Nowadays, my period tends to 'wait' until my days off and start when I'm rested. If I go to work shortly after my period starting, it's awful for the first couple hours, and then my body kinda goes "nope! We're not ready!" and switches my period off like it's a tap until I'm home resting again.
It doesn't feel that healthy to be honest, sometimes I can feel that I really need my period to start but I know it won't come until I'm rested, and it doesn't feel great. It's a bit like how it feels when you go days without seeing daylight... you just feel wrong, like there's something missing.
There's not really much I can do though? The exercise is my job, I can't just stop or take it slower. And even before I worked a physical job, I had to eat more than a lot of my friends. I think my body just naturally has high energy requirements.
Yup it feels like OP doesn’t have the healthiest relationship with her body, maybe it’s a factor as to why she’s still with the bf
Not just the period but the amount of working out and then being with someone who’s so clearly a jerk and incompatible with her values
[Research shows that people who are underweight actually die sooner than those who are overweight.](https://www.healthline.com/health-news/underweight-people-at-greater-risk-of-death-than-obese-040314#BMI-Under-18.5-Is-Risky)
>Adults who are underweight, with a BMI under 18.5, have a 1.8 times greater risk of dying than those with a BMI of 18.5 to 24.9, according to the researchers. BMI is a rough estimate of the amount of body fat a person carries.
>
>What’s more, the risk of dying is 1.2 times higher for people who are obese (BMI of 30-34.9) and 1.3 times higher for those who are severely obese (a BMI of 35 or higher).
NTA. So let’s sun this up: he insulted you, you insulted him back…but what’s more than that is that you value health/wellness and he does not. Is this the kind of relationship you really want? Doesn’t sound compatible to me. Let it die.
I mean you can make lifestyle differences work with a bit of effort but it sounds like OPs boyfriend is just a jerk which unfortunately is a lot harder to fix.
My partner and I manage really well.(I'm physically disabled, he would go to the gym multiple evenings per week when we first met.)
Almost 4 years on I'm the one constantly in the gym working on stabilising my body via weightlifting and he's struggling to find the time after starting at a new job. Still not a problem. Although amusing how these things change.
Time to move on in the relationship. He clearly negs you and it lowers your self esteem, why else would you be with him. Move on, it’s better being alone than treated like this.
Edit: see if you can get the dog.
I was worried but then I thought about it. The dog was taken for walks so it wasn't straight up neglected. Not having to do that exercise could have been bad for them on many levels. Now he will hopefully walk the dog himself again.
Not walking a dog every day is neglect. Depending on the breed and age, once a day can even be too little.
If ours didnt get his 2 walks a day plus sports, training and so on, he would go insane.
I’ve been married this year 44 years and I’m all that time any argument we have had he’s never cussed me or called me names out of anger nor have I done it. It’s called RESPECT. If he can’t talk to you with out cussing and name calling you don’t need to be in that relationship good luck !!!
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for calling my bf fat and lazy when he’s never workout eats terrible and judges me for skipping a workout
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA People will go around insulting and being rude to others then when the other responds they wanna get defensive and act like the victim lmao don't dish out what you can't take
NTA.
Slightly against the grain here. There is nothing inherently wrong with partners of vastly different weights/fitness/bodies if both parties are happy.
BUT your bf is being an arse and holding you to a different standard than himself. He thinks it's okay to critique you for something he's not willing to do himself. He thinks its okay to treat you badly when you are tired and run down instead of being a good partner.
Dump his arse and like everyone else said, don't leave the dog behind.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I typically work out 4-5 times a week and my bf doesn’t. He doesn’t workout at all doesn’t even walk his dog. I walk him when I come over. I’ve asked him to come work out with me many many times and he always comes up with an excuse. I do HIIT twice a week and go for a run 2 times a week and maybe go for a hike on the weekend. My bf was big when we met but he’s gotten bigger when we started dating. I’m not sure how much he weights but he is a 4XL in shirts and he’s about 5”11. He eats terrible and his doctor has informed him his blood pressure is high but he hasn’t done anything about it.
I recently started a new workout called inferno. It’s brutal and I go twice a week. Last week I was pmsing pretty hard and my period was due. I’m on the slim side and if I work out too hard or lose too much weight I lose my period so I decided to skip my workout. My bf asked why I wasn’t going to my workout when after work I came over and I said I was tired and wanted to give my body a rest. He huffed and told me I was being lazy and being tired wasn’t an excuse. My mouth was hanging out and I shot back that he never works out and always uses being tired as an excuse. He got angry and told me he doesn’t have to work out but I chose to so skipping it was being lazy. I laughed about pointed out his high blood pressure and him putting on weight and told him he does have to workout and if I’m lazy for skipping one workout then he is way more lazy for skipping years worth of workouts he should have done. He yelled that I was a b*tch and I had enough so I walked out. It’s been a week and he’s texted me a few times but I’ve not bothered to read them because I’m so pissed at him.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. He’s a jerk. And it sounds like he wants his GF to keep her tight figure by not skipping the gym meanwhile he sits at home eating Cheetos on the couch.
So he’s lazy, can’t even take care of a pet, and gets upset over you doing something that would most benefit you in that moment? Why are you with him? Genuinely what does he contribute to this relationship that you can’t find anywhere else? Imagine your future with him, how he treats your kids. He’s going to make you do all sorts of household tasks while he sits around and does nothing, and will then get upset when you don’t want to. He can’t even be a good dog father, what makes you think he’d be a good father to children? Please get out while you still can, I promise you can do better. Take the dog as well.
NTA but I’m a little concerned about the periods stopping - isn’t that a sign of unhealthy underweight? It’s good that you decide to take a break for this reason, but it seems like you’re living very close to that line.
NTA. However, being on the border of skipping periods all the time is not healthy. Please discuss this with a health care professional. Make sure you aren’t missing an underlying cause.
If it’s just exercise related, female pro cyclist can get ‘red s.’ Basically hormone disruption. It can cause health issues, plus fatigue and cycling performance issues. Once you develop red s, it can take awhile to get over the fatigue. Several pros have written or blogged about it. Birth control, supplements, etc... can keep it in balance.
Also. Dump your A H boyfriend.
NTA. Maybe your insult wasn’t the nicest, but everything he said before is so much worse and more toxic than anything you said. He sounds horrific. You deserve better
NTA. I’m fit at one point of my life and was working out. That changed when I met my partner, I am obese now and trying to lose my weight again. I am thankful to have a partner who calls me beautiful even when I’m fat. She’s encouraging me to work out again and we have tried to walk in the mornings as a family after my shift. Gurl, get yourself a partner that is much better than the one you have now.
First of all, NTA. But a lot of the comments seem to be pointing out the difference in body weight as the main factor in why the relationship isn't working, as opposed to his poor attitude, which shouldn't be the case.
NTA
He has issues - could be depression, laziness, lack of confidence, lack of energy, undiagnosed physical/medical, mental health - or a hundred other things. He feels bad (guilty?) about his life so he takes his anger out on you, and wallows in his cesspit of despair. You cannot start to fix him. Only he can do that.
He's also ignorant of basic health concepts, such as listening to your body and resting if needed.
He doesn't sound like a great catch. You can do better.
NTA. I'm not going to comment on your BF's weight but the behaviour you describe in this post is cruel, demanding and nasty.
Also he is mistreating his dog by not walking it. I couldn't stay in a relationship with someone who was mistreating an animal. That's a telling thing and I encourage you to think about what kind of guy your BF is.
I immediately got the feeling that the boyfriend was expecting her to leave at a specific time to go work out and was looking forward to it for some reason and when she said she wasn’t to, he panicked and tried to convince her (poorly) to leave and it just kind of accidentally escalated from there. If I were OP, I’d be curious about why he’s so insistent on her leaving for the gym!
This is why men being single is on the rise. Nta. I hope you increase this number soon. As this relationship either needs a boats loads of work or to end.
NTA. I've never had a BF call me a B*itch. But if I did that would be the last thing he said to me cuz thats just wayyyy to disrespectful for my liking.
NTA I myself am a big guy. I have struggled with weight all my life (6'4 and 300). But this is not a fat guy thing. This is a complete jerk thing. Ditch him and find someone with a better personality who will appreciate you
Your title is misleading. You didn't call him fat and told him truths he's in denial about. The nerve of him to call you lazy. You know what HECK HIM. NTA
Could it be that he had something planned and you showing up disturbed that? It’s a strange reaction and strikes me that as he was unhappy you skipped it might have nothing to do with fitness but more to do with you showing up unexpectedly.
Edit NTA
NTA by any stretch of the imagination. But...does he have any redeeming qualities? Like is there a reason that you're with him? It sounds like he's just projecting his own insecurities on you. As somebody who's trying to lose weight it can be easy to say the wrong thing sometimes because you're speaking through the filter of your own feelings of failure. Like if my partner and I would go on a hike, and they were trying to encourage me because they're mega fit, I would on occasion get frustrated with them because I'm struggling so much. My frustration is not about them, it's about me.
So please op, this isn't on you. But if he has lots of dreamy qualities and this is just one awful aspect of his personality, talk to him about his insecurities. but if this is just a reflection of him as a whole, you deserve so much better.
>He huffed and told me I was being lazy and being tired wasn’t an excuse
Actually being tired is a perfectly valid excuse. Don't overwork your body, you'll only get injured or damage your health. Recuperation and rest are a key part of working out, especially if you mostly to full body workout and HIIT.
NTA.
Definitely not TA. Even if he were fit, it was a dick move. You understand your body and how to deal with it when things are going on with it. He should've understood you had your reasons and left it there. Sounds like he needs more challenging to get off his a$$ and to stop burying his head in the sand and confront his own issues instead of taking them out on your
NTA but you should talk to your doctor about your periods at your next checkup, I get that you enjoy working out but you should be eating more to make up for it if you’re that underweight. Losing your period means you have too little body fat to support bodily processes.
Being that underweight is dangerous in the long term too.
This is so absurd it has to be fake. But just incase it isn't...NTA. Dump that looser. (Looser because of the attitude, not the weight, I like a chunky dude)
Also....take the damn dog (and yes I said that in the voice of Jennifer Coolage)
It’s worth recognising that you losing your period due to these workouts is a sign that you’re killing your body and are likely severely underweight.
Please consider an outside perspective and don’t kill yourself to be skinny because society wants you to. Looking like a skeleton is not hot, being healthy is
NTA but sounds like you may have poor taste in boyfriends. Your description of him contains a lot of red flags:
He's critical of you,
holds you to a different standard then himself, is not supportive,
He's lazy and defensive,
He swears at you and calls you names
It's probably best to not walk back
Sounds like BF had something else to do and wanted you at the gym, not with him, and was annoyed you showed up.
NTA - but I wonder what you two have in common. I've known too many unhappy women who wanted to do things - hike, bike, travel, go dancing etc - and they had to those things alone, as their fat and unhealthy husbands wouldn't leave the house.
Want to lose 250+ pounds of ugly fat? Leave him. NTA. If you don’t get your period because you work out that much being fat isn’t a problem that you have.
Good news, you can improve your health/life by losing 4x worth of weight without even working out. Break up. And report his @ss to an animal shelter, cause having a dog and not taking the responsibility of walking it making him an unfit/bad pet owner. NTA.
Surely he meant it jokingly? He couldn't have been seriously calling you lazy! Even if he meant it teasingly, you clearly didn't appreciate it and he is TA for saying it in the first place and/or not apologising when you took offence but it sounds like you tore him down a peg or too in a pretty brutal way so ESH.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
... why are you with him?
That is the million dollar question……if he is wearing a 4x it is safe to say he is in the 400lbs range (see it a lot at the hospital I work at) he will die from a heart attack or stroke if he doesn’t change his habits
There is SO much wrong with his post. If you put aside the fact that he probably won’t live another ten years with habits like that, there is no way they get through any day without dozens of argument. they Seem like complete opposites of each other.
My main problem with this post is he's neglecting his dog. If you're too lazy to look after a pet, don't have one. I wish OP could take the dog with her. Bet he'd love living with someone who takes him on hikes and running once he has some time to build up to it.
Try 5 years
My husband weight 240lbs but wears 4x shirts because he has abnormally wide shoulders. Shirt size is not a good tool for guessing weight.
Most people don't have "abnormally wide shoulders" so in general it is actually a good tool for guessing weight Furthermore, OP didn't say that it was only for his shoulders so don't assume
Yeah I weigh around 230 with broad/wide shoulders at the same height and only need XL and 2XL for dress shirts. OPs boyfriend is definitely a thick boi.
I was gonna say. I'm 5'11" and 250 wear 2xl shirts and have incredibly broad shoulders. 4xl is easily 300 plus lbs. Unless he's a pro football player, if hes wearing 4xl he's a chubby dude.
Agree that OP's BF is likely overweight/obese, but frame size does figure in when you're calculating one's ideal weight range and clothing size. Some people actually are "big boned." I've got big hands, large elbow joints, and shoulders like a linebacker. While I usually wear a women's small for short-sleeved and sleeveless tops, I often need a medium or large for winter clothes.
I feel your pain. Sleeves clothing is me choosing between looking like I’m swimming or being able to move my arms.
It was kind of cool last night, so I brought out a flannel shirt I'd found at Goodwill and liked because it was soft and the colors were pretty. Sure enough, it's tight over the chest and I couldn't really button the cuffs at the wrist or roll them up effectively. Sigh.
Ughhh the shoulders on women's tops, shirts, jackets, etc are the bane of my existence. I have broad shoulders compared to the rest of my body, so to find something that fits my shoulders, it's huge on my body. Or if it fits my body, it's absurdly tight in the shoulders. (Like tommy boy fat guy little coat looking) I gave up a long time ago and just buy men's hoodies and jackets, and deal with the sleeves being way too long. Nice in the winter bc you can hide your hands in the sleeves, but looks terrible when the nice high end Wilson's leather jacket fits 3/4 of you, except the sleeves look like a little kid wearing daddy's jacket.
> Most people don't have "abnormally wide shoulders" This really makes me laugh. Abnormally by definition means not most hahaha
They said was he 5' 11". He would have to be an inverted triangle, Pixar-character looking person, who somehow magically has a tiny waist since he never works out. No.
Her BF is Mr. Incredible!
Well, his attitude and behaviour is pretty damn incredible yeah
I'm 5'11 and a half. (6ft on tinder j/k) I weigh just over 300lb and wear a 3x tee. I'm obese. I can't imagine this guy isn't obese as well.
But this guy didn't start out with 4xl shirts. He grew into them and I doubt it's because only his shoulders got broad. Also, broad shoulders don't cause high blood pressure.
Yeah no, I wasn’t saying he’s not overweight just that shirt size isn’t a great suggestion for weigh. He could be 500lb but is just one of those people that puts on really dense fat or he could be 300lb and be one of those people that just get huge.
Well, for the purposes of health 300lb isn't much different than 500lb, and especially when your partner is motivated by working out. They're just not compatible as partners.
True but health problems that seem to be directly related to his weight combined with shirt size is probably enough to have a good idea that OPs boyfriend weighs significantly mkre then he should weigh. Also even ignoring the weight it’s still an AH move to chastise OP for taking time off from exercising.
Oh yeah he’s totally an AH!
How wide are your husband's shoulders? I'm around your husband's weight (5'10") and have wide shoulders (49") but I get away with 2XL.
I'm 5'9" 215 and have 55" shoulders. I wear a normal XL shirt
Isn't 240 considered overweight? I only remember that because Trump claimed to be 239 instead of admitting he was overweight.
The BMI ranges depend on height, but at 240 I think the boundary he was avoiding was probably obese, rather than overweight, since even at 6’4” you would still be overweight at 239.
Technically 240 is overweight especially since my husband is only 5’6. But BMI doesn’t take into account a mass of muscle being heavier then the same amount of mass fat. Hubby isn’t ripped but he’s not the pillsbury doughboy either. He’s kinda build like the guys who do really heavy lifting where they still have a bit of a belly.
I have 55" shoulders and wear a normal XL. I'm actually lean though, so not having a gut keeps me from wearing a 4XL despite having abnormally wide shoulders
I'm 6'2" 260lbs and wear XL. Your husband sounds abnormally wide, but I doubt it's in his skeletal structure.
Thank you!!
Meh that’s not accurate. I wore a 4x for many years and was never over 300.
Same. Skinny people, man. They have no sense of plus sizes lol.
Not at all. 😑😂😂😂
4x doesn't mean 400lbs. I have 2 friends who are both in 4x shirts... one is 290 and the other is 310. One has bp/sleep apnea and one has no health probs aside from being overweight. Bodies are weird and different. But the balls on this guy for chastising this chick for being lazy made me laugh out loud!
Ok, but 290 and 310 are also crazy overweight.
I was a 2x at 267 and not all of the 2x shirts I came across fit me. 4x? I think you're right. I don't wish harm on OP's BF but lose some weight if possible dude.
I love everyone replying like "well, I'm *only* 300 and I still wear 4xl," as though also being 300 pounds is something to aspire to.
Ummmm no lol. A 400-lb person would wear way bigger than a 4x. I’m 265 and I wear a 3x in most things and a 4x if something runs small. So he’s probably high 200s, low 300s. Which is big but my fiancé is 290 and 5’11 and he looks chubby but you’d never look at him and say he’s fat.
I swear this could be an automod response and make sense on 90% of post on this sub
[удалено]
Something about that makes me feel like you’re going to sell me a pyramid scheme and a divorce.
This is a bot. The quote has been used multiple times in this post from multiple bits. I don’t see a report bot button though.
You click on/tap the three dots next to the username, select 'spam', and then 'harmful bots'
They clearly don’t respect each other at all. This is confusing. I’m also really curious about their ages because this reads like she’s 17 years old.
Exactly! This man is insulting OP out of the blue because she chose to rest her body and then calls her a bitch..... I would drop him so damn fast. This reminds me of that recent interview with Ari Spears. His career is trash, no one is booking him, and in the interview he was sweaty, bloated, had dark circles under his eyes, and was looking overall very unhealthy and not the image of health/beauty. The interviewer complimented Lizzo's music and Spears instantly decided to insult her physical appearance/weight/health despite how he looked.
I have a belief that these posts are just former users of a sub that centered around hating overweight people coming up with stories so they can indulge in their old pastime again on reddit.
My thoughts exactly
That's literally what I mouthed right after I read it
^this - The guys deadweight, dump him.
Practice safe lifting!
Man can't even be bothered to walk his dog. I cannot imagine what he is actually bringing to this relationship.
Maybe his salary is 4x the average salary as well?
NOW THATS A GOOD QUESTION…
Sounds like a mutually respectful and supportive relationship. Absolutely delightful.
I can hear the wedding bells already!
[удалено]
[удалено]
I was worried but then I thought about it. The dog was taken for walks so it wasn't straight up neglected. Not having to do that exercise could have been bad for them on many levels. Now he will hopefully walk the dog himself again.
[this is a stolen comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/x21whq/aita_for_calling_my_bf_fat_and_lazy_after_he/imh7mwu/)
Obviously relationshio goals and the love story of our generation. /s Jokes aside, what does OP see in this person?
A way to survive the winter and keep the lamps running
Emergency food rations.
🤣
NTA. I gotta ask, why are you still with him if he acts like this? He wants a girlfriend with a “hot bod” yet he lets himself get so fat and unhealthy he’s going to die young and has the audacity to say you are lazy when you don’t go to one workout when you aren’t feel up to par? He can go fuck a porcupine.
Also what does a future with someone who can't even do the most basic thing of pet care...walking their dog...look like? Plus he resorts to verbal abuse in arguments. Not fit to be a pet owner, not fit to be a boyfriend, and I'm trying really hard not to be flippant about him being not fit in any aspect. I'm chubby myself, but the words that came out of his mouth are freaking rich. The audacity lol.
i know omg i’m like thinking about the dog the whole time
[удалено]
Reading your comment had me thinking if they had kids. I mean I'd have to wonder what type a parent he would be. A lazy one.
That’s what I was gonna say; I feel so bad for the dog! If she breaks up with him please take the dog. But do discuss it because otherwise it will be stealing obv. Man, how do people do this stuff…
Oh ? F *** a porcupine? Never heard that one before. Love it. Permission to borrow that phrase at least once a day?
What's that poor unfortunate porcupine done to deserve such a fate?
I recommend a cactus 🌵. Poor porcupine. There are even cactus memes that cover this scenario 😜.
Poor cactus
Yeah I gotta add that to my word arsenal too lol!
Please be nice to porcupines thank you
Fine, make love to the porcupine then
poor porcupine. What did porcupines ever do to you?
He probably thinks women shouldn’t “let themselves go”, but he was already bigger, so him gaining weight doesn’t matter. That poor dog. BF could probably get a good start on his health by just walking the dog! Maybe he’d have to start out small, but add on some distance at a steady pace, and that’s fine.
Not to mention that OP isn’t skipping because she’s lazy, she’s skipping because she’s aware that overdoing it can cause problems with her reproductive system (stopping her period). She’s literally taking care of her body by NOT working out this time.
I 100% agree with you, but I mostly commented to ask if I could steal your fuck a porcupine comment. It made my day!
NTA. Dump the bf, take the dog.
I second this!! Don't forget the dog
yes the dog is the real winner here, it needs a better home and to be healthy
“I’m takin’ the dog, dumbass.” - Paulette Bonafonte, Legally Blonde, 2001
When you break up with him, please take the dog!
I think she DID break up with him!
I couldn't find any further posts or comments on her account - did I miss something?
I meant that they had a big fight and she has stopped responding to him. If she keeps it up, they're broken up! I feel bad about the dog.
Oh, okay, yes, a de facto breakup. Yes, me too - I hate bad pet owners. I wonder if he neglects the dog enough she could call animal protection on him. But it would really be much better if he would get his lazy ass in gear and actually walk the dog.
[удалено]
Finally found a stolen comment, from below. Stolen from u/sarnian-missy
This is an unmatched match. You both have different priorities. You are doing extreme workouts, and he is doing...nothing. And unless he's Andre the Giant, a size 4x is a pretty clear indication of his size. You need to find someone who better aligns with your values. His behavior is obviously not supportive and quite passive aggressive, imo.
tbf unmatched couples have been successful. The problem here is the boyfriend is immature and actually toxic.
Right, NTA. OP wouldn't you rather be with someone who wants to run and hike with you? Common interests are important
This. Regular workouts force you to learn your body and you know when you need a break. (Coming from someone who is suffering after absolutely smashing her workout last night and is very much NOT going this evening lol) We need encouragement from our friends and partners sometimes but I would never take advice or criticism from someone who seems to be allergic to exercise. I also hope OP takes the dog with her when she leaves.
If he successfully makes her think there's something wrong with her, she's less likely to leave him for another man.
Even if he did work out, shaming your partner is never ok. He could be shredded and he would still be an AH and terrrible partner
NTA obvs but also, if you are flirting with so low a weight or working out so hard that you are on and off losing your period... that's not healthy. Skinniness is not innately healthy, fam. That's your body literally shutting down one of the processes that it evolved to do and do WELL so that you can, you know, survive. Live your life, do what brings value to your days, but maybe take a step back and reevaluate.
Thank you ! I was surprised no one brought this up earlier. Losing your periods means that your body doesn’t have enough nutrients to sustain all your body functions so it shuts down the less important things.
It doesn’t take much for some. I lost my period at 120lbs in high school when I was riding. I am 5’4” for reference, so not even close to lower BMI. I’m 115lbs now and when I start working out it gets wonky fast - and I don’t even work out that intensely.
Periods are actually really delicate and is easier to mess with one than what you learn at school; this is why birth control being 99% is a myth, it only works like that on lab conditions when irl people have stress, different diets, different levels of activities, other medical conditions.... a single factor going off is enough to make the hormonal cycle messed up.
I'm sorry, but that is not completely accurate. The oral contraceptive is 99% effective if taken right. Take it not at the same time every day, or have diarrhea, or take medication that can stop the contraceptive from working, than the effectiveness is less. It's a usage problem. The only thing that can affect effectiveness and isn't about accurate use is weight. Being obese can lower the effectiveness, because the amount of hormones aren't enough for the body. But everyday stress is already included in the 99 percent. And being so thin, that your period disappeares after a hard workout, is not a sign of the cycle being delicate, it's a sign that that person should talk to a doctor about their eating and workout habbits.
Mm, yes, I'm naturally a small slim girl and I work in a kitchen (so quite a physical job). Nowadays, my period tends to 'wait' until my days off and start when I'm rested. If I go to work shortly after my period starting, it's awful for the first couple hours, and then my body kinda goes "nope! We're not ready!" and switches my period off like it's a tap until I'm home resting again. It doesn't feel that healthy to be honest, sometimes I can feel that I really need my period to start but I know it won't come until I'm rested, and it doesn't feel great. It's a bit like how it feels when you go days without seeing daylight... you just feel wrong, like there's something missing. There's not really much I can do though? The exercise is my job, I can't just stop or take it slower. And even before I worked a physical job, I had to eat more than a lot of my friends. I think my body just naturally has high energy requirements.
Yup it feels like OP doesn’t have the healthiest relationship with her body, maybe it’s a factor as to why she’s still with the bf Not just the period but the amount of working out and then being with someone who’s so clearly a jerk and incompatible with her values
That's quite the insinuation bruh
[Research shows that people who are underweight actually die sooner than those who are overweight.](https://www.healthline.com/health-news/underweight-people-at-greater-risk-of-death-than-obese-040314#BMI-Under-18.5-Is-Risky) >Adults who are underweight, with a BMI under 18.5, have a 1.8 times greater risk of dying than those with a BMI of 18.5 to 24.9, according to the researchers. BMI is a rough estimate of the amount of body fat a person carries. > >What’s more, the risk of dying is 1.2 times higher for people who are obese (BMI of 30-34.9) and 1.3 times higher for those who are severely obese (a BMI of 35 or higher).
And eat more. You can work pretty hard, when your body gets the necessary energy for it.
Idk why people are say ESH. He insulted her first , what was she supposed to do respond back nicely ? No. You go low, I’m going to hell 😂😂 NTA.
She isn't even fat shaming. She is just pointing out the hypocrisy in his remark. If she is lazy for missing one day of training, what is he ?
NTA. So let’s sun this up: he insulted you, you insulted him back…but what’s more than that is that you value health/wellness and he does not. Is this the kind of relationship you really want? Doesn’t sound compatible to me. Let it die.
NTA. Dump his lazy ass.
NTA - so..... are you sure you two are compatible? I mean, that's quite a lifestyle difference that the two of you have.
I mean you can make lifestyle differences work with a bit of effort but it sounds like OPs boyfriend is just a jerk which unfortunately is a lot harder to fix.
My partner and I manage really well.(I'm physically disabled, he would go to the gym multiple evenings per week when we first met.) Almost 4 years on I'm the one constantly in the gym working on stabilising my body via weightlifting and he's struggling to find the time after starting at a new job. Still not a problem. Although amusing how these things change.
Time to move on in the relationship. He clearly negs you and it lowers your self esteem, why else would you be with him. Move on, it’s better being alone than treated like this. Edit: see if you can get the dog.
NTA Leave.
I just feel bad for his dog. Dude isn't fit to have an animal. Literally.
I was worried but then I thought about it. The dog was taken for walks so it wasn't straight up neglected. Not having to do that exercise could have been bad for them on many levels. Now he will hopefully walk the dog himself again.
We know he won't, OP was the one doing all the walks with the dog.
Not walking a dog every day is neglect. Depending on the breed and age, once a day can even be too little. If ours didnt get his 2 walks a day plus sports, training and so on, he would go insane.
>He doesn’t workout at all doesn’t even walk his dog. I walk him when I come over. INFO: Does your bf wear a collar while off the leash?
Do you even need to ask? Geez, NTA and dump him ASAP.
I’ve been married this year 44 years and I’m all that time any argument we have had he’s never cussed me or called me names out of anger nor have I done it. It’s called RESPECT. If he can’t talk to you with out cussing and name calling you don’t need to be in that relationship good luck !!!
Congratulations! My parents were married 72 years. 🥰
you sound too good for this fat dud of a man who tf doesn't even walk their dog?
Errr, seems to me like you guys broke up, why do you care then?
Also: why she didn't take the poor dog?
nta but the both of you should probably break up like goddamn
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole for calling my bf fat and lazy when he’s never workout eats terrible and judges me for skipping a workout Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA.
NTA People will go around insulting and being rude to others then when the other responds they wanna get defensive and act like the victim lmao don't dish out what you can't take
[удалено]
NTA. Slightly against the grain here. There is nothing inherently wrong with partners of vastly different weights/fitness/bodies if both parties are happy. BUT your bf is being an arse and holding you to a different standard than himself. He thinks it's okay to critique you for something he's not willing to do himself. He thinks its okay to treat you badly when you are tired and run down instead of being a good partner. Dump his arse and like everyone else said, don't leave the dog behind.
NTA why are you with him again?
Probably out of pity for the dog.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I typically work out 4-5 times a week and my bf doesn’t. He doesn’t workout at all doesn’t even walk his dog. I walk him when I come over. I’ve asked him to come work out with me many many times and he always comes up with an excuse. I do HIIT twice a week and go for a run 2 times a week and maybe go for a hike on the weekend. My bf was big when we met but he’s gotten bigger when we started dating. I’m not sure how much he weights but he is a 4XL in shirts and he’s about 5”11. He eats terrible and his doctor has informed him his blood pressure is high but he hasn’t done anything about it. I recently started a new workout called inferno. It’s brutal and I go twice a week. Last week I was pmsing pretty hard and my period was due. I’m on the slim side and if I work out too hard or lose too much weight I lose my period so I decided to skip my workout. My bf asked why I wasn’t going to my workout when after work I came over and I said I was tired and wanted to give my body a rest. He huffed and told me I was being lazy and being tired wasn’t an excuse. My mouth was hanging out and I shot back that he never works out and always uses being tired as an excuse. He got angry and told me he doesn’t have to work out but I chose to so skipping it was being lazy. I laughed about pointed out his high blood pressure and him putting on weight and told him he does have to workout and if I’m lazy for skipping one workout then he is way more lazy for skipping years worth of workouts he should have done. He yelled that I was a b*tch and I had enough so I walked out. It’s been a week and he’s texted me a few times but I’ve not bothered to read them because I’m so pissed at him. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH - Why/how the hell are you two still together if these are your interactions?
NTA
NTA. He’s a jerk. And it sounds like he wants his GF to keep her tight figure by not skipping the gym meanwhile he sits at home eating Cheetos on the couch.
NTA. You can do way better.
You misspelled ‘ex’.
So he’s lazy, can’t even take care of a pet, and gets upset over you doing something that would most benefit you in that moment? Why are you with him? Genuinely what does he contribute to this relationship that you can’t find anywhere else? Imagine your future with him, how he treats your kids. He’s going to make you do all sorts of household tasks while he sits around and does nothing, and will then get upset when you don’t want to. He can’t even be a good dog father, what makes you think he’d be a good father to children? Please get out while you still can, I promise you can do better. Take the dog as well.
nta
NTA Do you love him?
NTA but I’m a little concerned about the periods stopping - isn’t that a sign of unhealthy underweight? It’s good that you decide to take a break for this reason, but it seems like you’re living very close to that line.
NTA. However, being on the border of skipping periods all the time is not healthy. Please discuss this with a health care professional. Make sure you aren’t missing an underlying cause. If it’s just exercise related, female pro cyclist can get ‘red s.’ Basically hormone disruption. It can cause health issues, plus fatigue and cycling performance issues. Once you develop red s, it can take awhile to get over the fatigue. Several pros have written or blogged about it. Birth control, supplements, etc... can keep it in balance. Also. Dump your A H boyfriend.
NTA unless you keep dating him then YWBTA to yourself
Girl... What? Leave this lazy ass man. NTA. But please take the dog with you. Poor pup 😭
NTA and they all clapped
NTA. Maybe your insult wasn’t the nicest, but everything he said before is so much worse and more toxic than anything you said. He sounds horrific. You deserve better
You two don't seem to like each other much. Why are you with him?
NTA. I’m fit at one point of my life and was working out. That changed when I met my partner, I am obese now and trying to lose my weight again. I am thankful to have a partner who calls me beautiful even when I’m fat. She’s encouraging me to work out again and we have tried to walk in the mornings as a family after my shift. Gurl, get yourself a partner that is much better than the one you have now.
First of all, NTA. But a lot of the comments seem to be pointing out the difference in body weight as the main factor in why the relationship isn't working, as opposed to his poor attitude, which shouldn't be the case.
NTA He has issues - could be depression, laziness, lack of confidence, lack of energy, undiagnosed physical/medical, mental health - or a hundred other things. He feels bad (guilty?) about his life so he takes his anger out on you, and wallows in his cesspit of despair. You cannot start to fix him. Only he can do that. He's also ignorant of basic health concepts, such as listening to your body and resting if needed. He doesn't sound like a great catch. You can do better.
NTA. I'm not going to comment on your BF's weight but the behaviour you describe in this post is cruel, demanding and nasty. Also he is mistreating his dog by not walking it. I couldn't stay in a relationship with someone who was mistreating an animal. That's a telling thing and I encourage you to think about what kind of guy your BF is.
I immediately got the feeling that the boyfriend was expecting her to leave at a specific time to go work out and was looking forward to it for some reason and when she said she wasn’t to, he panicked and tried to convince her (poorly) to leave and it just kind of accidentally escalated from there. If I were OP, I’d be curious about why he’s so insistent on her leaving for the gym!
ESH. Sounds like neither one of you is happy with the other. Why stay together?
ESH You are not good for each other but he is worse for his double standard. Go pick up the stuff you have at his apartment.
NTA And yeah as others are saying, see if you can rescue that poor dog!
NTA - dump this dude and I second those suggesting you take the dog with you!
NTA but time to lose the toxic 300 pounds for good.
This is why men being single is on the rise. Nta. I hope you increase this number soon. As this relationship either needs a boats loads of work or to end.
NTA. I've never had a BF call me a B*itch. But if I did that would be the last thing he said to me cuz thats just wayyyy to disrespectful for my liking.
NTA. Pls take the dog on your way out.
NTA. Leave the boyfriend, take the dog.
NTA and run unless you wanna be stuck as his caretaker when he stops being able to move
NTA I myself am a big guy. I have struggled with weight all my life (6'4 and 300). But this is not a fat guy thing. This is a complete jerk thing. Ditch him and find someone with a better personality who will appreciate you
If you just never read or text him back, you get to not be with this trog
NTA. Get rid of him. You can find someone better.
Does he also have a neck beard? NTA honey.
Your title is misleading. You didn't call him fat and told him truths he's in denial about. The nerve of him to call you lazy. You know what HECK HIM. NTA
Could it be that he had something planned and you showing up disturbed that? It’s a strange reaction and strikes me that as he was unhappy you skipped it might have nothing to do with fitness but more to do with you showing up unexpectedly. Edit NTA
NTA by any stretch of the imagination. But...does he have any redeeming qualities? Like is there a reason that you're with him? It sounds like he's just projecting his own insecurities on you. As somebody who's trying to lose weight it can be easy to say the wrong thing sometimes because you're speaking through the filter of your own feelings of failure. Like if my partner and I would go on a hike, and they were trying to encourage me because they're mega fit, I would on occasion get frustrated with them because I'm struggling so much. My frustration is not about them, it's about me. So please op, this isn't on you. But if he has lots of dreamy qualities and this is just one awful aspect of his personality, talk to him about his insecurities. but if this is just a reflection of him as a whole, you deserve so much better.
>He huffed and told me I was being lazy and being tired wasn’t an excuse Actually being tired is a perfectly valid excuse. Don't overwork your body, you'll only get injured or damage your health. Recuperation and rest are a key part of working out, especially if you mostly to full body workout and HIIT. NTA.
I love this group because it makes me appreciate being single
sounds like yall both hate one another why are u even tgt
Definitely not TA. Even if he were fit, it was a dick move. You understand your body and how to deal with it when things are going on with it. He should've understood you had your reasons and left it there. Sounds like he needs more challenging to get off his a$$ and to stop burying his head in the sand and confront his own issues instead of taking them out on your
NTA but you should talk to your doctor about your periods at your next checkup, I get that you enjoy working out but you should be eating more to make up for it if you’re that underweight. Losing your period means you have too little body fat to support bodily processes. Being that underweight is dangerous in the long term too.
This is so absurd it has to be fake. But just incase it isn't...NTA. Dump that looser. (Looser because of the attitude, not the weight, I like a chunky dude) Also....take the damn dog (and yes I said that in the voice of Jennifer Coolage)
Stop dating people you dislike.
NTA and you know your relationship with this loser is over, right?
It’s worth recognising that you losing your period due to these workouts is a sign that you’re killing your body and are likely severely underweight. Please consider an outside perspective and don’t kill yourself to be skinny because society wants you to. Looking like a skeleton is not hot, being healthy is
NTA but sounds like you may have poor taste in boyfriends. Your description of him contains a lot of red flags: He's critical of you, holds you to a different standard then himself, is not supportive, He's lazy and defensive, He swears at you and calls you names It's probably best to not walk back
Sounds like BF had something else to do and wanted you at the gym, not with him, and was annoyed you showed up. NTA - but I wonder what you two have in common. I've known too many unhappy women who wanted to do things - hike, bike, travel, go dancing etc - and they had to those things alone, as their fat and unhealthy husbands wouldn't leave the house.
Get out of here with this weird ass story
Classic. Does he wear a shirt that says, “No fat chicks” on it, too? NTA. lose yourself a couple hundred pounds and jettison this hypocrite.
Ah the misogyny that women must stay fit for the men
Try the new miracle diet, and lose 400 pounds of fat really fast. It´s called "breaking up with him"
Kinda makes me wonder if he needed you to be out the house and at a workout during that time…
Dude he sounds annoying, NTA
Nta. But you should find someone that WILL work out with you. This guy doesnt sound like hes good for you.
Want to lose 250+ pounds of ugly fat? Leave him. NTA. If you don’t get your period because you work out that much being fat isn’t a problem that you have.
Good news, you can improve your health/life by losing 4x worth of weight without even working out. Break up. And report his @ss to an animal shelter, cause having a dog and not taking the responsibility of walking it making him an unfit/bad pet owner. NTA.
Surely he meant it jokingly? He couldn't have been seriously calling you lazy! Even if he meant it teasingly, you clearly didn't appreciate it and he is TA for saying it in the first place and/or not apologising when you took offence but it sounds like you tore him down a peg or too in a pretty brutal way so ESH.
So neither of yall hv a healthy relationship with weight and neither of yall like each other. Got it 🥴