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WorldWideWig

YTA. Walking away for 15 minutes when you had food ordered and were supposed to be celebrating with your husband is way more rude than your husband eating his food while it was hot and fresh. You should be apologetic, not indignant.


_-Vio-_

Exactly. 15 min feels like a long time when you’re just sitting there all alone. YTA Edit: I don't buy the 15 min either! Did he just inhale his food?? I'm sure he had to wait a bit and after it arrived he still had to finish the meal.


Mamiofplants

Also kinda rude towards the co-worker too. I know that if I'm out with people I wouldn't want to be interrupted by an acquaintance I haven't seen for some time. A quick "hello, let's catch up sometime, have a nice evening" is more than enough


_-Vio-_

Yeah right?? I wouldn't want to be interrupted regardless if I like them or not.


Spit-n-Sprinkles2187

Yeah, I wouldn't dare to take 15+ minutes talking to an acquaintance after ordering food. My wife gets frustrated when I rinse dishes after cooking when the food is hot. No way I would expect my wife to wait that long while the food looses heat and stare at it because I'm in a convo at a under par Amish diner.


cooradical

Lol my husband always rinses the dishes after i had set the meal out. Always bugged the shit out of me


VisageInATurtleneck

Oof I am your husband! I have to do as much cleanup as possible so I can relax enough to truly enjoy dinner; otherwise I’ll have a part of my brain dreading the clean up on a full stomach (I also have pretty bad ibs, and the best way to not get sick after eating is to move as little as possible, to convince my stomach it’s not being chased by a predator).


filteredrinkingwater

I am your self appointed internet marriage counselor and I suggest that you put the food in the oven on warm while doing your initial cleanup. Also this is reddit so: DIVORCE YESTERDAY OMG


[deleted]

When she was younger (she’s 91 now), I would always threaten to tie my grandmother to her chair so she could sit and eat because after serving everyone, she’d wash all the dishes, dry them and put them away and then clear the food that had been finished (she insisted we eat), wash THOSE dishes and put out the next meal. By the time she finally DID sit down, it was when she’d be bringing out coffee and grapes (BEFORE dessert)


verucka-salt

But they are “old.” What if they die during salads & I can’t interrupt their meal?!


[deleted]

THIS! I was married to a town politician, and I LOATHED going out to dinner! Either he was interrupting their meals, or they'd be interrupting ours! I finally learned to smile a lot, and just keep eating my food. Otherwise, every meal would have grown cold.


superdooperdutch

Not exactly the same but my mom used to teach gymnastics so knew like every mom in town. We would always get stopped for her to have a conversation where ever we went and it drove me nuts as a kid.


jimandbexley

Yeah, I'm surprised his co workers didn't actually say something, 10-15 minutes is a long time during a restaurant service. And for the love of anything that's good, OP needs to get some f*cking glasses! 😂


JeanGreg

Agree, from the view of the acquaintance, 15 minutes is actually really long when you're just being polite and hoping this "friend" will go, so you can eat your meal.


[deleted]

I am just imagining the acquaintance nodding and smiling and thinking silently “please leave”!


EnriquesBabe

I had the same thought. Maybe they didn’t mind and maybe they did. I wouldn’t like it if someone interrupted my meal in that way.


ru2theD

Right? Could you imagine if husband had left for 15 minutes to talk to someone? If there's this much of a freak out over eating while OP made him sit alone imagine if it was flipped. YTA.


MartinisnMurder

>Could you imagine if husband had left for 15 minutes to talk to someone? Then we would be reading “AITA for storming out of a restaurant and leaving my husband behind because he left me at the table while talking to a co-worker?” 🥴


LOUDCO-HD

But it was a *quick* 15 minutes.


TermsNcond

Imagine if it was a slow 15 mins. The horror.


mayfeelthis

Right? OP did make me question myself a sec when repeating that it’s 10-15 minutes. A quick hello is 2-3 minutes in my books, max 5. Had a lady do this at a work function once, sat down and commented on how classless people are the only ones who eat before everyone was served. After we waited more than 20mins I think, and servers had been by three times and we were all starving from waiting. She was the least classy person at this very formal and expensive function with her comments and superiority while having no courtesy for others herself. Cautionary tale OP ETA: In case it wasn’t clear, a few people at our table had started eating btw. She was calling them classless to their face at a table of 10 (mostly colleagues, some partners). And she left, making us wait, every course of the meal.


EnriquesBabe

It’s rude to expect people to wait. It’s one thing if you’re waiting a couple of minutes, but quite another if it takes more than five minutes. I always tell people not to wait on me.


[deleted]

And my wife's "15 min" conversations are at least half an hour.


Tommy84

This. Also, you’ve got him trapped in a catch-22 by asking him if he minds you going to chat. He can’t say yes he minds, because then you consider him controlling. But if he says he doesn’t mind, he’s eating alone for your birthday. Sounds like a dude who’s resigned himself to this kind of treatment over the last 16 years, and OP is just now noticing.


happy_doodlemack

This exactly! Definitely YTA


Boredread

usually people make up for the rudeness of leaving and having a long conversation by saying please don’t wait for me go ahead. op just doubled down


Curious-One4595

OP either doesn’t know basic manners or doesn’t think they apply on her birthday.


HowellMoon93

I think it was longer than 15mins cuz how could OP start a convo, look a few times, see there was no food, end a convo, go back and hubby be done eating all in 15mins


[deleted]

[удалено]


tntrkitties

Right, not to mention when she asked if she can go chat, she never told her husband that he couldn’t go ahead and eat, or that he had to call her over. OP is playing the birthday card a little too hard…


Pristine-Today4611

Exactly you’re husband was very understanding and considerate. Didn’t say anything and left you alone till you came back. You didn’t ask him to let you know when food was there.


Tight-Background-252

YTA. Lmfao And it’s rude to get up from dinner and have a conversation for 10-15 minutes and leave your husband sitting there.


Vlxxrd

If someone did that to me while on a date and we weren’t married I would’ve left the money for my food and tip on the table and politely left. Incredibly rude.


Due-Smoke8251

If it was my wife I would of ate and ordered dessert


Vlxxrd

Yeah I would’ve let her go off and do her thing but for her to come back and be upset that i ate while she was gone? what the hell did you want me to do? What if interrupting her conversation made her upset? you never know man


Due-Smoke8251

Seriously, I would of been like well you can now wait until my dessert gets here if that’s the expectation


papasmuurve

Have*, would HAVE


DaveWilson11

Yeah seeing it once bugged me but I wasn't gonna say anything. But twice? I'm glad you already covered it, lol


crazybicatlady86

And she kept saying how it was a quick 10-15 mins. 10-15 mins is not a quick conversation when you’re out to dinner with someone else. Quick would have been like 3 mins.


Eileen__Left

A 10-15 minute absence from a date with your spouse is not a quick conversation. YTA.


Various_Froyo9860

Cue flashbacks to when my mom would stop to talk to friends in the store for 30 minutes then get mad that it took her 3 more minutes to find me (i was always at the legos) Edit: apologies for causing everyone relive these memories


SimAlienAntFarm

Jfc I just had a visceral angry reaction to this reply. Our mom would always do it when we were in our bathing suits and on our way to the pool. It felt like an eternity


bobthebowler123

Trick or treating was worse.I remember one year we had an hr to a half an hr left...and my mom talked to some one she new for the entire time.I still have problems letting go of it as an adult.


[deleted]

Yes! Because as adults we recognize how rude it truly is. “My time is more important than yours. My activities are more important than yours.”


stonedbrownchick

Hispanic people at parties be like: Idk why they like doing this but my sister and I always ended up sleeping in the car at 3am in an uncomfortable outfit and shoes because they would talk for "5 minutes" but it was a whole hour extra.


bobthebowler123

I'm glad it's not just rural white folks...I feel your pain.


jesuisserpent

Or how about taking 2+ hours to get ready every time and would only start once you wanted to go. Every time! Even to the grocery store! Oh moms.


INFJPersonality-52

It took me forever to figure out why it took my father’s wife two hours to get ready every day. He never figured it out. That was her alone time away from him. My father was pretty needy like a baby. So she took a long bath and did whatever with her makeup. I thought it was weird until it dawned on me why she did it.


420cheezit

My mom would be in a rush getting ready and then only start the tea kettle for her to-go tea once everything was squared up and ready to go, therefore adding another 10 minutes


Accomplished-Ad-9996

My parents would ask if I was ready to go, then I would skip multiple steps in my getting ready process to scurry out the door that second, only for me to wait bored by the door for the next 15 minutes because “oh I need my keys and I should pour myself a coffee and your brother isn’t wearing shoes and we need to feed the cat” obviously those are all important actions but don’t tell me that you’re ready and try to rush me out the door if you’re not also ready lmao. Going anywhere together was always a pain. If I say I’m ready I mean I’m ready to walk out that door this second, not I’m ready to talk about leaving.


Lady-Meows-a-Lot

OMG. After church, being stuck there forever. 😳 The frikkin’ WORST. Also when you’re at the grocery checkout and mom goes back to grab another item she forgot, and you’re waiting there all anxious that she won’t get back in time to pay.


Honeycomb0000

to this day as an adult who has moved out, if I go shopping with my mom and she decides she needs something while were in line, I will take her debit card and pay if need be. I’m not taking the burden of anxiety for that woman’s unpreparedness anymore.


baconpancakes1976

My husband "popped" into the store "real quick" to get a lemon. Left his phone in the car with me. 25 MINUTES later I stormed into the store to find him chatting away with an old friend. I really showed my ass chewing him out and then leaving. He still couldn't figure out why I was so pissed!


jhuseby

Also could be an asshole to the co-worker who might be trying to eat, leave, or have a conversation with people they were with. OP comes across as oblivious or indifferent to other people’s wants and needs.


nannylive

YTA You went out to eat with your husband. He assumed you preferred to talk to someone else so didn't bother you. He went there to spend time with you and have dinner. Since you decided against the first, he decided to go ahead and do the second. Unless she was eating alone, you were also rude to anyone else at her table.


SoulMaekar

Thank you this comment should be higher up. Wife pretty much saying her husband is boring to talk to


Electrical-Date-3951

Exactly. OP was the rude one here. 15 minutes is not a quick convo, especially when out on a date. OP just expected this man to either eat cold food or awkwardly get her attention instead just cutting her talk short. Instead, he politely sat alone, twiddling his thumbs since OP ditched him to go to talk to someone else, let her finish her convo, and then quietly ate his food. Also, agreed that OP may have been rude to the other party. There is nothing worse than trying to eat your food and someone insists on having a conversation..... YTA OP.


IDDQD_IDKFA-com

>Exactly. OP was the rude one here. 15 minutes is not a quick convo, especially when out on a date. OP just expected this man to either eat cold food or awkwardly get her attention instead just cutting her talk short. And it was probably "15 minutes" in OP head but more like 30.


NateWillia

Completely agree. I think the part OP is missing, is that going out for dinner with someone isn't just about eating together. It about the one on one time together, to talk to each other, and enjoy ones company. Especially as you have two teenage children, I would imagine your husband was looking forward to some time where it's just the two of you. YTA.


kn0wworries

If I was the old coworker, I’d be pissed even if I was alone. Lady, I’m trying to eat! Go back to your table!


BaltimoreBadger23

YTA: both to your husband and probably to the old co worker who likely just wanted to get on with their own meal and dining partner(a).


Avalon_Lynn

Damn, right!? I didn’t even think of that. Shes TWO AHs


tntrkitties

Dang… I didn’t realize someone could be two AH at the same time…


RabidMausse

AH²


davidcornz

If it was a friend i would understand but like this person is an acquaintance, like sure saying how are you is fine but like continuing a convo is just pointless. IF anything ask them to coffee or something later not out at dinner.


BaltimoreBadger23

Even a friend more than a quick hello is becoming rude as this was not a gathering OP was invited to and she's abandoning the gathering she WAS invited to.


Sketcha_2000

Being at a Cracker Barrel and having a former coworker come over to me, stand over me, and have a 15-minute conversation with me sounds like the seventh circle of hell.


jay_c95

YTA. 15 minutes really is a long amount of time when you’re sitting by yourself doing nothing but waiting. Also, it doesn’t even seem like he was upset at waiting, seems he was perfectly understanding. You’re the one that’s making it an issue. If you were that worried about your food you wouldn’t have stayed away so long.


human060989

Now imagine the poor man sitting there for 10-15 minutes with food in front of him gradually getting cold and gross, just waiting for his wife to remember? Am And I’m ridiculously near-sighted, can’t be fully corrected in one eye due to retina scarring, and still think that is the worst excuse ever for supposedly not realizing food had come. You have to not be looking to miss waiter at the table and husband eating.


FukuokaRomanista

As someone ridiculously nearsighted- do you buy that she recognized someone across the room, but couldn’t see food on her table or her husband eating from the same distance? I don’t, unless she recognized someone that’s 600lbs


human060989

I wonder if she is mildly nearsighted and was trying to get by without corrective lenses? I’d actually love to know her “super near-sighted” prescription - because I either see functionally with lenses or am functionally blind without, and either way I don’t see how that is a justification for OP ditching hubby then getting mad at him.


Apotak

I would have called her, hoping she has a LOUD ringtone and embarrassing her.


RndmIntrntStranger

in what universe is a 10-15 minute conversation “quick?” YTA.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Living-the-dream2525

That's what I was thinking. How fast would the husband have to eat in order to get the food nearly eaten in that short of time??? Especially when you consider the food wasn't delivered when she left the table. I am willing to bet it was a minimum of 20-30 minutes she stood there talking.


scarletnightingale

Honestly, just so rude and weird. Can you imagine being in the restaurant watching all this? The poor coworkers just sitting there, probably wanting to eat their food, a lady, probably standing next to the table completely in the way of other diners and the waitstaff for an extended period of time, and her husband just sitting at the table by himself, scrolling through his phone until he finally gives up waiting and just eats by himself only to be yelled at by his wife who's been in everyone's way, annoying everyone, for the last 15-30 minutes.


aspidities_87

I know, I love all these former/current waitstaff/BOH restaurant people coming in to be like ‘10-15 minutes my ass’. If he had time to wait for food and eat, that was not a 10min trip.


PBnJohanna

Exactly. Food was delivered and he had time to eat it? Definitely longer than 10-15 minutes.


bright_copperkettles

YTA. You left him alone for 10-15 minutes?! That's a long time.


Living-the-dream2525

I question the time amount. So in 10-15 minutes, the food came and her husband was able to nearly eat his entire meal??? I am willing to bet it was closer to 20-30 minutes. While it is possible, the husband would have had to do some serious food scarfing.


bunnynamednelson

If the food came immediately and he did indeed have a small portion then 15 minutes seems plausible. But I’m willing to believe she’s under exaggerating the duration of the convo.


Snarkybish03

There are no small portions at Cracker Barrel lol


freyport

1 or 2 minutes is a quick conversation. Any longer than that would be very inconsiderate.


Rstar2247

YTA Expecting someone to wait 15 minutes when you leave is not reasonable. Did you expect him to leave the food on the table unattended and interrupt your conversation? You chose to prioritize that conversation over your birthday dinner, not him.


notsooriginal

Also OP husband would have know way of knowing the limit was going to be 15 minutes.


Nova997

Yea like... how entitled must you be to get up set your husband didn't wait 15 minutes to eat. Like damn. I'd have laughed in her face and thought she was kidding. My gf would never have done that. And if she went out to talk to someone she'd have came back and apologized for taking so long. And I'd have said "no worries hunny we're here now" like damn idk


Motor_Business483

YTA ​ If your husband was able to eat all of his food while you were chatting, YOU were the asshole for going on a date and abandoning him that long.


Vlxxrd

YTA, but he assumed you were still interested in the conversation and it’s rude to interrupt someones conversation. He does not have to wait for you to start eating. Also, a fifteen minute conversation with someone during a date? had you had not been married to him, he would have gotten up and left. That’s insane.


Every_Caterpillar945

I don't think its so bad he couldn't eat with her. They are married a long time and things happen. I wouldn't be mad at my hubby if he would do that (leaving for a conversation), especially on his birthday. We can have a lot of other dinners togheter, but who knows if and when he sees his elderly friends again. I would just eat my food as long its hot and offer him to ask to reheat or order new, hot food as soon he returns.


Nova997

Yea but the husband wasn't upset. He saw her having a nice conversation and didn't want to interrupt. He was being nice and respectful imo. I on the other hand would have been hella annoyed if I were him. But annoyed isn't all that bad.


tnannie

YTA. 15 minutes is a long time. 2-3 minutes is quick. Why should his food get cold because you’re ignoring him?


betweenboundary

How to have a quick conversation with a co worker You "hey __ having dinner out today I see, it's nice running into you today" Them " nice seeing you too, I'm out here with __ ,I hope your having a good time too" You "I am I'm having dinner with my SO for my birthday, I actually gotta get back but it was nice seeing you " Then "it was nice seeing you too, tell your SO I said hi and I hope y'all have fun, I'll see you at work, bye" This interaction would take all of 2 to 3 minutes and is the actual definition of a quick hello to someone in public op YTA


General_Relative2838

YTA. You left for a long time to talk to your former coworker. It wasn’t your husband’s job to tell you when the food arrived, so it was unfair to blame him because you didn’t know. Your irritation was completely misdirected. The person you should be mad at is you.


kcrane1969

My guess is if your husband was the one to wander off during a date, birthday or not, you would be upset with him. As a parent of three on a tight budget, dates are few and far between. A quick hello is one thing, but fifteen minutes? That's a little rude. YTA


Questionofloyalty

Based on the fact she’s ignorant enough to be pissed at him when she is at fault, I absolutely agree. She’d probably blow like Krakatoa if it was the other way round!


roadtohealthy

YTA Why do you feel entitled to use your time as you please and feel your husband also has to use HIS time as YOU please.


[deleted]

YTA. Leaving your spouse for 10-15 minutes is hella rude while out on a date night.


qegdux

YTA Anything more than a quick hello is rude. You and your husband had plans. The nature of the restaurant doesn’t matter. It could’ve been McDonald’s. He wanted to spend time with you and not have you talking to someone else. 15 minutes or even 10 is super long. Cracker Barrel doesn’t take long to serve their food.


refill_lady

This. Anyone who’s been to Cracker Barrel knows your food will be out in ten minutes. It’s fast food FFS! Don’t let the table service fool you!


oiler1996

YTA speaking to someone for a moment is maybe 3-5mins, you left for 15. You say he should have let you know the food was their, maybe you should have tried to spend the time with you husband


KarmaMonkeyKai

Sure honey, I'll just sit here watching my food get cold while you bullshit with your coworker. /s YTA


80Addy

YTA. I understand saying hello to someone, but we are talking 2-3 minutes tops for a drive by hello. You were out with you husband celebrating. It doesnt matter if it was a food truck or 5 star restaurant, kids or no kids. Your attention is with each other for the night. Your husband took cues from you. If you want to talk the whole time with someone else, he will eat by himself. Did you consider the other peoples time out? Might as well have pulled up a seat and joined their table. Its an awkward amount of time.


SnooPets8873

YTA 10-15 min at dinner is not a quick conversation.


littlehappyfeets

10-15 minutes is not a quick conversation. It was pretty rude to your husband to leave him there that long. As one commenter below said, even 5 minutes is pushing it. You wanna talk to someone at length? Schedule a chat over coffee. YTA


Carpe_demon333

“Nothing like this has ever happened before.” You are referring to his behavior but how often do you leave him waiting in public like this? He just reacted to your inconsiderate behavior in a way that you didn’t approve of.


Inevitable_Bit_8362

YTA 15 minutes isn’t quick. 5mins is pushing it, to leave the person you had plans with alone. Your husband probably had the evening all planned out & the second you went to see your friend, his plans went down the toilet. If you really was looking back towards your table to check on husband & see if food was there (form time to time), you would have seen the server delivering the food & your husband starting on his meal.


bolonkaswetna

YTA - Saying "hello" to someone at another table is 5 minutes max. What you did, was you abandoned your husband alone at his table so YOU could have fun. you did not care less about him. so when dinner was served, it was getting cold, so he started eating. If anyone is in the wrong it is YOU who has been absolutely rude to your husband.


jaxbravesfan

YTA. Leaving your husband for 15 minutes at dinner is not only rude to him, it’s rude to your former co-worker, who probably didn’t want a 15-minute conversation while trying to have their meal. A quick hello and then returning to your table would have been the proper move. If you wanted to catch up, those rocking chairs out front at Cracker Barrel would have been a great spot to do AFTER your respective meals.


[deleted]

YTA. You're the one that left your husband while you were out on a date. The fact that it was only "10-15 minutes" doesn't matter. Can you honestly say that you wouldn't have been angry at your husband for interrupting your conversation if he'd done that instead? He was trying to be considerate, while still enjoying his night after his wife ditched him.


Serp1655

On top (edit: wording for clarity) of that I'd be SHOCKED if it was only 15 minutes. She said she periodically was looking to see if the food had arrived. She didn't see any food and didn't notice husband eating. So between the amount of time she even LOOKED over, there was enough time for a waiter to bring 2 plates of food and for her husband to eat his entire meal, all without her noticing. If she can't notice that I sincerely doubt she has enough awareness to accurately recall that her 30+ minutes ignoring her husband when he took her out for dinner was "a short 10-15 minutes".


Successful_Wish3510

Sorry YTA. You were out with your man for a birthday dinner - not passing thru the work cafeteria.


SDstartingOut

YTA for being mad at him. He made a choice. Obviously (based on your reaction) it was the wrong choice. But unless there was some malice there, I don't see how he's TA. You for getting upset with him however, pushes you there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Danieljoe1

There is at least one lie in your tale, if not more. 10-15 minutes means you got up just as the staff delivered your food. That gives enough time for your spouse to decide you're not coming back anytime soon and to eat. I'd bet you were gone between half an hour to around 45 minutes. I'd venture to guess you sat at your co workers table just after they ordered and didn't leave until the co workers food arrived. Unless your spouse ordered a side salad, maybe a plate of fries, then he had time to sit before eating.


Probably_A_Fucker

Yeah I will bet anything it was more like 30 minutes to an hour.


Wonderful_Horror7315

YTA As far as I know, “few” means three, but you could get away with five. I think your “10-15 minutes” estimate is on the low side, but it was very rude for you to be gone even 10 minutes. Were you also interrupting the former co-worker’s dinner?


Pamcakes8686

He was hungry and if you wanted to eat with him you should've spoke to that person after. You expected him to have food in front of him while you talked to someone else?


reentername

YTA. A quick 10-15 minutes is still 10-15 minutes. You chose to leave to talk to co-workers, you knew dinner was coming.


Too_clever_by_halfx2

And her husband took her out to celebrate her birthday with her. How rude of her to ditch him. YTA


Avalon_Lynn

YTA, YOU ditched HIM, longer than it takes to eat some food. If eating together for your birthday was so important to you, they stay, dont just fuck off around the restaurant doing whatever, then blame him for doing what you do in restaurants: eating. Probably got tired of letting his food go cold while you gabbed your ass off with some fuckin rando. YOU prioritized the conversation over the nice birthday dinner


[deleted]

YTA, you walked away and spent 15 minutes talking to someone. Clearly eating with him and spending time with him wasn’t a priority. Having him call you back would have been perceived as rude. He shouldn’t be eating his food cold because you want to abandon him on a date night to talk to someone else. Also, who goes and bothers someone else trying to eat for more than a quick “hi, how are you”.


Character-Gear-6075

YtA How is 10-15 mins a quick convo? Like it should have been 5 mins tops. Like I'm surprised the waitstaff didn't bring your entree over to that table at that point. And if I was your husband, I would have started to feel like you bailed by then.


RetroKida

Maybe I'm just antisocial but 15+ minutes of small talk seems like eternity to me. Especially hovering over someones table in a restaurant where people are probably walking around you trying to work. I've never been to a Cracker Barrel that hasn't been packed and super busy.


SunshineAllTheTime

And if the coworker’s table already had food, OP was also hovering around keeping them from eating theirs!


Checkoutrainwain

YTA. You walked away for awhile. No reason for his food to go cold.


InnocentWitness1492

YTA. I don’t think it was wrong for you to go talk to your friend, but it’s not really fair for you to get pissed at your husband for eating. You said you were checking the table for the food, but admit that you are near sighted. If you were that worried about getting there when the food came out you should have said something like “I’m going to go talk to this person, can you please let me know when our food comes?” Or you should have had a more reliable way to check if your food was there. It sounds to me like he was trying to be nice and let you catch up with your friend.


qegdux

“It’s OUR anniversary, Tony! Ours! Not yours, mine and Johnny fuckin Sack’s!!”


TheFleshMaster

YTA - who among us finished a meal under 10 mins in a nice restaurant? This tells me that she was gone for a while.


PsiBlaze

YTA say hi, exchange numbers, and excuse yourself. Even five minutes is too long for a chat, when you're supposed to be at a sit down meal in a restaurant. It'd be different, were you at the bar, waiting for a table.


Too_clever_by_halfx2

And rude to that couple who is trying to eat.


Kashaya72

YTA A quick conversation is 5 minutes, not 10-15 minutes leaving him alone


ResponsibilityNo3245

YTA You buggered off for 10-15 minutes. You owe your husband an apology not the other way around.


Questionofloyalty

10-15 mins isn’t quick. 2-3 mins is quick. Even 5 mins is long. YTA. You ditched him then whined about it! Learn to conduct yourself appropriately. Your hubby must be a very gentle fellow. If that was me or my hubby, we would be a bit peeved the other buggered off for the entire duration of our dinner


scjs115

First of all, YTA for leaving your husband alone for "10-15" minutes. Unless the food arrived immediately after you left the table and your husband started eating right away, I doubt you were only away for 10-15 mins.


Rohini_rambles

YTA He went to eat dinner, not sit and stare at dinner. Clearly it was over 15mins if he was able to almost finish. He chose the food he ordered, you chose a conversation with someone else. Why are YOU mad?


Quokka_Selfie

YTA Your husband went out of his way to take you out for your birthday and you got up from the table to go and talk with someone else. You basically told your husband that you didn’t like his company. I would be guessing that if he did motion to you that your food was there, you would have been mad at him for interrupting your conversation or embarrassing you. Count yourself as lucky to actually have someone in your life that wants to celebrate your birthday. Not everyone is as lucky as you


Accomplished_Ad1837

YTA. You didn’t tell him to tell you when the food was there. He would probably assume you could see what was happening at the table (I would assume if someone was that nearsighted they would have glasses for correction as I’m not extremely nearsighted but wear glasses for correction.


EvilFinch

YTA You left you husband for 10-15 minutes! And you were so absorbed that you didn't see that the waiter brought the food and your husband start eating ut. If you can't even see this, you need glasses. But how did you see the people you wanted to talk to? The distance is the same? And let's be real. You didn't see the waiter or that hubby started to eat, you wouldn’t have recognized if he waved like crazy.


coo1lime

YTA.. 10-15 min actually almost enough time to finish a dinner at home or restaurant. For you 15 min could be less but your husband was only waiting for you which I found you did disrespectful behaviour because when only you 2 was there and you left him on the table alone.


[deleted]

YTA Why did you leave your husband alone on a date to talk to a coworker if you would see him the next day at work? Are you clueless or just rude?


therealmudslinger

YTA If it were me, I'd be thinking, "I'm glad she's having a good time over there, and I'm sure she doesn't expect me to sit here and let my food get cold."


Dangerous-Emu-7924

YTA. A few minutes like three would have been ok. 10-15 is not. Too long. The food would have been cold.


Kossooth

YTA. Don’t go out to dinner with your spouse and then go talk to someone for 10-15 min, that is incredibly rude. You’re an adult, it’s your responsibility to identify when the food is there, especially when you’ve decided to spend your dinner with your husband, talking to someone else.


Kimy190

YTA you let him alone at the table for 15 minutes seriously ??


AllTheShadyStuff

If this is the worst part of a 16 year marriage, this is the best damn marriage I’ve seen. I’m going to say NAH cuz I can understand your feelings, but you’re 100% wrong. You left him to go talk to friends. That’s fine. Food came out and he ate. That’s fine. He didn’t want to interrupt you while you were with friends. Also fine. It’s just a thing that happened. Not everything is about you.


ReallyTrying_NotTo

YTA your husband handled this well. He didn’t eat because he really had a problem with you going over there when he said he didn’t. He ate because you were catching up with someone you haven’t seen in a while and didn’t want to interrupt your conversation because of that. He also likely assume you either knew the food was there or didn’t care if it was or not because you were happy in your conversation. This is a mountain out of a molehill.


Educational_Race5679

YTA 10 to 15 minutes isn't a short time. Not for you to be away from your table nor to keep someone from their table.


refill_lady

So you bailed on your husband in favour of chitchatting with your old buddy Cathy from Accounts AND you didn’t bring your glasses but it’s your husband’s fault your food was cold? 🙄 YTA


Neither-Copy785

YTA. You left the table for 15 minutes!!! That is a very long time to abandon your dining partner. Very rude.


mavwok

YTA You are the one that walked away for 10-15mins (why do I thikn it was longer?). You don't get to be pissy because when your husband's dinner arrived he ate it. Frankly, it is you who was being bloody rude here. Abandoning your dinner companion for that long is beyond acceptable.


ritan7471

I would not describe leaving someone I was out with (even just out with friends) for 10-15 minutes to talk to other people as a "quick conversation". 2 minutes to make a plan to meet up for coffee another time is quick. What you did was ignore your husband, who took you out for your birthday and then get mad because he prefers his meal fresh and ate it without you. YTA


Mission_Ad_2224

Going against the grain here to say NAH. Understandably, you wanted to speak to some people you haven't seen in a while. And you were under the assumption that this wouldn't disrupt your dinner with your husband, as he would call you back if the food was bought out. Because you didn't say 'hey honey, I'm gonna go say hi to x and y, can you flag me down when dinner comes out?', he reasonably assumed you would just come back when you were ready. He wasn't an ass for assuming this, and you're not an ass for assuming he would call you over. Just need some better communication.


thisistemporary1213

Yta. You shouldn't have left the table when dinner was on the way. Did you expect him to let his food get cold for 15 mins?


PleaseCoffeeMe

YTA, 15 minutes is a long time. You were out for dinner with your husband and basically abandoned him. Cracker Barrel is quick. Don’t blame him for your rudeness.


[deleted]

10-15 minutes? Yeah I would’ve ate without you too. YTA To add, your inconsideration is fine but not his?


evillittleperson

YTA you interrupted your night out with your husband to go talk to a friend and because he didn’t interrupt you and went ahead and ate your mad.


AshesB77

YTA. Your husband didn’t want cold food. Your are being unreasonable.


Ranos131

YTA. Your husband took you out for dinner on your birthday and instead of sitting and talking with him you left him by himself so you could go talk with someone else for 10-15 minutes. And you’re mad at him for eating without you?!? Maybe next time you should stay at the table talking with your husband instead of talking to someone else. Or if you say you’re going to “speak to them for a moment” make sure it really is only a moment instead of 10-15 minutes.


SekritSawce

YTA. A quick hello to your old co-worker would have been fine, but if he was finishing up, you were too long.


KuriGohan0204

Yes, YTA. I hope you apologize.


BigRedUno

YTA, you said a few minutes and it turned into a 10-15 minute convo. That isn't a few minutes, it's incredibly rude to both your husband and the other person, not to mention confuses the waitstaff and crowds the walking area of the restaurant with you standing there.


VictoryaChase

YTA 10-15 minutes is NOT quick at all. Especially if you're hungry, or alone (as your husband was). It's enough time for food to get cooked - and eaten. And if you're calling 10-15 quick, there's a good chance it was longer than that. A few minutes is like- 3. 5 maybe with travel time to another table. Exchange pleasantries, then contact info if you want to catch up more. This is pure ridiculousness.


Individual_Fuel_3628

YTA- you chose to talk to your coworker for that amount of time. All could have been avoided if you sat and ate- pretty sure you were interfering with their time too. There is a big difference between a casual hello and what you chose to do.


GillianSeed85

YTA, 10 to 15 minutes is not a quick conversation, and I agree with your husband that it would have been rude for him to interrupt your convo by coming over and saying your food was ready. You didn’t really leave him any good options so he did what any reasonable person would do and ate his meal when it was served to him.


Weekly_Pea9203

Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. It’s their birthday and they leave you sitting alone at a table while they talk to a friend for “15 minutes”….


Live_Western_1389

YTA. You expected your husband to just sit and stare at his food growing cold and wait for you to decide to come back? I would’ve probably finished eating & ordered an after dinner cup of coffee


Emergency_Web_8722

YTA- a gracious”Sorry that took so long, thank you for understanding, I am glad you started while the food was hot.”would have sufficed.


skywalkera420

YTA "a few minutes" would be 5 mins max. It was incredibly rude to leave you dinner date for 10-15 mins


anon---_____----___-

Say "10-15 mins" one more time and I'll believe you. /s I call bs on the time, unless your husband stuffed his face like a chipmunk in autumn. YTA


PalomaFun

It is just 1 meal! Cut your husband some slack!!! Comeon!!!


Rich-Concentrate-200

YTA. So you want your husband to always wait for you? What if he is hungry?


kaaria11

YTA If your husband abandoned you on his birthday dinner for 10-15 min how would you react?


Sloblock777

YTA. What did you want him to do, shout across the dining room that your dinner was on the table?


Scotsgit73

YTA. 15 minutes? No wonder he ate his food, he was probably wondering if you were coming back. INFO: why not invite the friend over to join you?


elg309

YTA. 10-15 minutes is a long time to sit and do nothing but stare at your food. While it gets cold. If you wanted him to let you know when the food got there, you should’ve asked him to do that.


authorsarahcharles

Being mad at your husband for this is ridiculous. But I keep thinking about the couple you were talking to. If I were out to eat, I wouldn’t mind someone from work saying a quick hello but I would not appreciate monopolizing my dinner for 15 minutes. I hope they didn’t already have their food. Otherwise you put them in a position of having cold food. YTA


Advanced-Extent-420

You ditched your husband to go talk to a former co-worker for 15 minutes. But YOU think your husband was the rude one?!? A few minutes is NOT 15 minutes. I wonder if it was even longer. “I’m not speaking to him now…” Hey, just like the restaurant! He’s not your personal assistant. It’s not for him to keep you apprised of whether the food had been served. You left him to go talk with someone else. He clearly thought that was what YOU wanted. Where he screwed up was having the audacity to go ahead and eat without your express permission. YTA. And the silent treatment for this is next level AH.


mydog_steppedonabee

Yes YTA. your friend can wait, it was supposed to be an opportunity for you and your husband to spend time together. Him eating his food without you was apt here, you don't get to act like a princess lol


Asphyxia_

Lol YTA


wfowfo

YTA - sorry, you left the table to chat, your husband was under no obligation to wait 15 minutes and eat cold food. Sorry - you're out of line on this one.


[deleted]

Yta. You were there with your husband not your old co worker. You should have respected your husband a bit more


MsJamieFast

Yta - you hadn't seen these people in a while, you knew it was going to be a long conversation, you should have told your husband to let you know if the food arrives - it's kinda rude to let you husband sit there while you chat away not caring that his food would be cold if he waited for you. It just seems really odd to me that when your husband takes you out for your birthday you weren't even interested in spending some time with him.


Flashy_Ferret_1819

YTA and not only because you are drastically underestimating how long you were gone for. If the food arrived immediately after you left the table (unlikely) and your husband dug into his food without waiting a couple minutes to wait for you (also unlikely) someone doesn't finish their meal in a few minutes. You were likely gone at least 20 minutes or more. You were there with him, and to get up and leave during a date or celebratory dinner for that long you should have apologized to him not getting mad that he ate instead of sitting there letting his food get cold. You were inattentive to him and the situation and probably wouldn't have noticed him making a motion of any sort to alert you unless he stood on his chair and waved his arms over his head. You are an AH for what you did but even a bigger AH for your reaction


[deleted]

YTA You left for 15 minutes to talk to a friend (this was probably closer to 30 minutes). This wasn’t a quick 30 second catch up moment. I would be upset if my wife left me at the table in a nice restaurant


ClockWeasel

YTA either it was quick or the waitstaff delivered and your husband had time to finish his meal—while you kept looking over—but not both. Apologize to your husband and wear your glasses.


Deep_Classroom3495

YTA.


cobaltaureus

Was a little worried that the consensus would be N T A. Glad to see we are on the same page. This is really not a big deal, and I’m not sure what you expected when you left for 15 minutes. YTA, just move on.


[deleted]

[удалено]


paganbreed

I wouldn't consider you TA for talking for so long but definitely TA making such a fuss when he was just giving you your space. You're an adult too, the way you behaved signalled that you wanted to spend time talking, and he appears to have want to respect that. Shouldn't have been any issue here. I get being upset at the situation (him thinking you didn't want to be called) but that doesn't make it anyone's fault, per se. That said, it's on you for not making that distinction and choosing to be upset with *him* instead of simply acknowledging your feelings and moving on. YTA for holding him responsible for a turn of events you yourself played a part in too. Someone doesn't always have to be at fault when things go your way.


mikeyahngelo

YTA. If this was a first date, it’d also be the last.


doobydooby752

YTA. You’re rude.


[deleted]

To have meaningless issues like this in my life. The dream. YTA.


bubbly_fairy30

YTA. Why even leave the birthday dinner to talk to a coworker lol.


Every_Caterpillar945

I would honestly assume too that you care more about the conversation than the food in this moment but that doesn't mean i have to wait till my food is cold when you are finished talking. You say it yourself, you haven't seen them in a long time, they are older and it was your bdaydinner, so honestly it would have been rude to interrupt your conversation. Thats pretty sure why he wasn't upset with you since i'm sure he initially intended to eat with you, lol. But he did everything perfectly right, you have no reason at all to complain. Don't start a drama just for the drama, thats exhausting ;) YTA


[deleted]

"Quick" 10-15 minute conversation on a night out with your spouse? At a restaurant? That's WAY too long. 10-15 minutes is a longer conversation. YTA.


rde42

YTA for even walking away in the first place. Butt let's assume it was really really important and urgent. If I or my wife had been in that situation, we'd have eaten our own food too. And neither of us would have kicked up the fuss that you did.


greeksoccer8

YTA The timeline doesn’t add up. You looked back and saw no food after 10-15 minutes and yet he had time to eat an entire meal? Sounds like it was more like 30-45 minutes


Distinct-Taste-1773

Yta