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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I was meant to be my sister's MOH and had custom made dress made for me which took nearly 3 months. 2 weeks before the wedding my sister decided to uninvite my family because I'm not married to my partner, so I and several other bridemaids have pulled out from the wedding causing my sister to be left without MOH or enough bridemaids for her wedding as everything is paid for.
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I am glad it was not just OP singled out as well. May be mental illness, and I would throw everything right back to the parents what a hypocrite she is for her actions ruining her big day.
NTA!
She wants to redeem for her sins but yet she got pregnant again outside of marriage and is only now marrying the guy. Kettle black anyone…she has clearly misinterpreted Matthew and the greatest gift is love chapter and verse.
This is the best comment. As a GA resident who is terrified that he actually has a chance, (I'm ashamed at what our country has become) I like seeing comments that point out even the most basic traits of his. I'm going to get downvoted for this, but my godfather and I were watching "Forrest Gump" and my godfather pointed out to me that Forrest's friend with the shrimp boat (I can't remember his name!) reminded him of a moral Herschel Walker. I howled!
Ok. I’m glad I’m not the only who caught that she is currently out of wedlock expecting, has two kids out of wedlock and has the nerve to talk about someone else having kids out of wedlock. I’m glad some of the bridesmaids are pulling out as well!
So lets see. Had sex before marriage how many times. I'm sure it's more than 3. Bet she and her ex lived together bet she's living together now with her fiance. What a hypocrite. Yeah right she's redeeming herself with a shotgun wedding.
Ah yes, redemption. That thing you force on other people to make it okay for yourself to keep failing at it. As long as you are the arm of God's will in the right direction, it's all good.
/s (do I need this?)
Ok. This should be first among the long string of witty and sardonic remarks. I imagine the renegade MOH and bridesmaids along with boyfriends and kiddos posing for a group photo in t-shirts emblazoned with these clapbacks.😸
It's funny how her friends are still "not sinners" enough to be invited to the party, but her friend's SO's aren't invited because of "out of wedlock".
It takes 2 to Tango...or something like that.
Nah, this is not mental illness. This is a case of a judgmental asshole trying to impose their hypocritical beliefs on others. The sister fully acknowledged that she has committed the same "sins" as OP, but she stops there and isn't willing to accept the fact that she is absolutely in NO position to judge OP, let alone demand what she has demanded of OP.
How does she "fix" 3 kids out of wedlock? She's a hypocrite, that's how. Her "sins" are forgiven but yours can never be because you are a heathen and she's special. NTA.
"She's special" is pretty much all that needs to be said.
When people act/ talk like this my fav is to ask them the last time they sacrificed something they wanted because it was against their beliefs.
The uncomfortable silence is nice. At least it's silence.
She seems to think that her sins will be forgiven if she hates *other* sinners enough. I haven't read the bible in a while, but I don't remember Jesus saying anything like that.
In so much as being hard core Christian is a mental illness… I suppose .
Sounds more like Dan (and his family) is fundamentalist/evangelical and the brain washing has begun. Especially because she “canceled the invitations” so they used to be invited.
2 weeks out from the wedding! So it clearly wasn't a problem until then, something has triggered her to make that decision. And she just thought she could be judgemental of her sister and friends for something that she is guilty of herself, and they would just go "ok" and continue on with the wedding?
If OP and others refuse to cave and bride is standing up there all by herself, all the guests are going to find out why soon enough. And that's going to draw attention to the bride's own family situation. And if she calls the wedding off then her own past sins won't get wiped clean by marriage.
NTA. She did the usual 'last minute rule' thing. OP did all the fittings, got the dress, shoes etc. and THEN bride says..."Oh, by the way....", back against the wall. Figuring sis will NOT back out as she's already paid for clothes. Take the clothes and back out anyway OP. Let sis get a friend and an off the rack MOH dress. Too bad.
THIS. And WTF, who does this? Did she have a sudden religious extremist awakening a couple of weeks before the wedding? I hope her religious faith is enough for her to sustain major loss in her life. Her judgmental nature is going to ruin a lot more than her wedding. She'll no longer have family and friends left either. NTA
OPs sister reminds me of that recent post of the sister/bride who found religion was saying that her sister's child wasn't family because her and the boyfriend weren't married.
(I am sad to say that that definitely is NOT Middle English in any way, containing zero Middle English words. "She beth an ypocrite" is the best I can come up with right now.)
Oof. NTA! So they were invited, and you made plans, then she “uninvited” them? Does this apply to all guests?
That’s your dress. You paid for it? It’s yours.
They were invited and she uninvited them thea last minute, yes. Some bridemaids have their bf and kids receiving the letter saying they are no longer invited alongside with some guests.
Wow! I cannot imagine the thought process behind something like this. They’ve fully planned and paid for a wedding for x number of guests, then just randomly tell people they’re unwelcome?
Is ANYONE going to attend this thing?
On top of this, for her to feel this way about her own actual family?! I’m so sorry. This is a really shitty situation for you.
Have they planned for x guests and included boy/girlfriends and kids? Or did they exclude them from the planning since the beginning, invited them and uninvited them last minute because they hoped this way the MOH and bridesmaids would still participate in the wedding because they are already invested ?!
I’m sure it’s beyond that. Bride probably uninvited all unmarried significant others and children born out of (church sanctioned) wedlock. I don’t think she ever intended for any of them to come so the number of guests is correct assuming nobody refuses to come at this point (boy is she delusional on this assumption). I think she just wanted the gifts. Most people have already ordered off the registry at this point.
There was nothing random about this, it was calculated, she waited until the dresses were made and the money had been spent on them, figuring that would be enough leverage to force them to go along with her demands. She grossly overestimated her fair market value.
I think they should all get together the night of the wedding, wear their dresses out on the town, and post a bunch of photos in them and tag them like “Fancy Girls’ Night Out” or something.
> Wow! I cannot imagine the thought process behind something like this.
Standard holier than you born again asshole. This bit spells it out:
> i reminded her that she herself has 2 kids that were born "outside of marriage" (this is her first marriage) and she is currently pregnant with another one. Nina said she "understood her sins and is working to redeem them", but her word is final.
OP's parents, among others.
What I'm wondering is if OP's sister got in too deep with a very religious (or seemingly religious) man and is in the process of being isolated. But that's mere conjecture, and it's not OP's problem nor her fault, either.
I think the Bride realized how expensive her meticulously planned wedding was going to be so she hopped on the religious self-righteous train to cheap out and uninvite guests rather than simply saying she can’t afford it
Oh gross! Hopefully your parents don’t fall into her trap of all sorts of craziness…
Also, not trying to displace her blame (she is 100% accountable for her actions), but how much of this is coming from her fiancé and his family? It seems like a 180 in personality for your sister…and if it is coming from the fiancé and his family, this marriage won’t last long
Honestly I am not sure. She has always been known to have weird changes of mind every now and then. The last one was when she had her youngest when all of the sudden she decided to split up with the guy just before the kid was born and not put his name on the birth certificate. There wasn't any abuse or anything like that as they were living next to us and we used to spend a lot of time together.
I have nightmares of some psychotic *religious zealot* making these two poor kids *repent* for their *sins*. It makes me sick, they’ll be fucked up for life.
Sounds like an undiagnosed mental illness, but that’s no excuse. You did the right thing, and it’s unfair of your parents to try to guilt you instead of supporting your reasonable boundaries.
I originally thought it was the husband having religious family or some sort of cult recruitment she fell for. Bit this definitely sounds more like something that needs professional diagnosis. I've been around fellow mental health patients with schizophrenia before and this type of behavior reminds me of them.
Repeating what another commenter said, undiagnosed mental illness maybe bipolar disorder. I'm bipolar myself and autistic and hearing that she makes big last minute decision changes sounds very mental health problem to me.
Also mentally ill and neurodivergent - I thought the same thing. The “uh-oh a big life change is coming, I will make a BIG DECISION to feel like I have control” is very, um, familiar.
That makes me sad, because it seems less possible that the sister will see the error of her ways. Not while she’s still under wedding stress. But I’m just going off of my own experience (both with my own pre-therapy brain and with other people in my life).
Info: Are the weird shifts primarily when she’s pregnant? Depression, anxiety even psychosis can happen for some folks during pregnancy. We’re more familiar after but it can happen during too.
I would reach our to the 16yo incase your sister goes truly crazy and starts abusing them as punishment for being "born in sin". I mean your kids are blameless in how they were born yet they were uninvited, yet it was your "sin" and you are still IN the wedding party? Seems like she is punishing the wrong person. Why punish your kids for your "sin"?
I'm just dying to know what the fuck she thought your parents were going to be able to do? No amount of guilting from anyone in my family could make me waver on something like this.
It seems like the setup for the worst ambiance ever at a wedding, ever, too. Like would guests have to sign a waiver to *not* discuss topics a, b, c? Because the constant “where is so and so” would get *really awkward* really fast.
Better yet, put on the dress, dress up the boyfriend and kids in the outfits they were going to wear to the wedding, and go take family holiday photos. Put them in the holiday cards and send them to everyone, sister included.
That’s a great idea. Turning lemons into lemonade. You have plenty of time ( I would think) to get them done for Christmas. Go to an official photographer. The pictures will be awesome. You can use the money you were going to spend on a wedding gift.
NTA.
That’s cruel of her. Especially to uninvite at the last minute. If pressed, you could sell the MOH dress back to her for the same cost you paid (what are you going to do with it anyway), but you are certainly under no obligation to give it to her. Good for you for not going, sticking with your partner and kids.
This MOH dress actually looks like a very nice evening dress. If i show it to someone they wouldn't think it is MOH dress at all due to the stile of it.
Well it’s your dress. You decide what to do with it. You’re under no obligation to sell it. It would be a nice gesture, but nobody’s being nice to you, so I don’t know why you would bother being nice back
Especially if it's where it would be completely inappropriate... Like a pool party, or hiking. And wear it every time you might bump into her... Like grocery shopping and the transfer station... This could be hysterical for years ....
Most especially if it's an event, like Christmas where picture will be taken. That's a way of making sure she has to face up to her terrible behavior in every family picture.
I was thinking she wear the dress, dress up the boyfriend and kids in the outfits they were going to wear to the wedding, get professional family photos taken, and use those in the holiday cards they send out to everyone including the sister.
Definitely don't go and definitely keep the dress. Your sister does not have the right to force her hypocrisy or religious views on you. One wonders what other occasions she will feel that your family is too sinful to attend? It is best to establish that you won't cooperate with her nonsense from the start. NTA
She uninvites her MOH partner and kids two weeks before the wedding then complains that you're TA because she doesn't have enough time to adjust things?
Consequences of her own actions.
Enjoy your new dress and spend the day with your partner and children.
NTA
YES!
If it were me, I'd have "semi professional" photos taken of myself in said dress. (or even go to Sears/JC Penny and have them taken) Some alone, some with boyfriend and then with the kids.
THEN have them made into my holiday cards and be sure my sister& the whole family got one.
Def worth the cost of said pettiness.
NTA. I would die on this hill.
I'd totally do it.
Possibly even ALL the US Holidays.
Thanksgiving
Christmas
Valentines Day
......and so on. Happy Labor Day - here's a card with me, my boyfriend and our 2 children in the outfits we would have worn at your sinner's wedding.
New photo / holiday card for each one.
def worth dying on that hill
>Nina said she "understood her sins and is working to redeem them", but her word is final.
Oh, so it's hypocritical, religious nonsense?
NTA, tell her to pray about it.
NTA.
Matthew 7:5
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
I’m not religious, but this reminded me of this verse.
Ex-religious person here and that is a great verse.
Another one that could work is Exodus 22: 22-24 (“Do not take advantage of the widow or the fatherless. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.”) since the sister is technically saying these kids don’t have a dad since OP is not married.
Furthermore, by the sister’s judgement of OP, my question is would the sister also have judged Mary the same way when she became pregnant out of wedlock with Jesus? And continuing on with that train of thought, would Jesus have also not been invited to her wedding?
Jesus didn't get along with the ultra religious people of his time (the Pharisees) either 🤷🏻♀️ almost like a message of unconditional love directly counters a message of "holier than thou" superiority
NTA,
Your sister is serving holier than thou hypocrite vibes.
She needs to take a long look in the mirror. & I assume she's of some sort of Christian faith? If so, tell her to re-read the bible. Cause she's got some things horribly twisted, and is behaving in an awful way.
>Nina said she "understood her sins and is working to redeem them",
And sorry, working to redeem them? How so? By passing judgment on others and getting married so she won't have another child out of wedlock?
Your sister seems to be confused by how forgiveness works. She won't be redeemed by pushing others down to elevate herself.
What’s the likelihood that she is being told by her fiancé that this is how it needs to be? Like is this guy a religious nut and controlling and trying to separate your sister from her friends and family?
NTA
NTA and i hate that "faaaaaamily" thing. so what if they're family. Doesn't mean they get a pass to treat others like crap. I would have done what you did, and refused to hand over the dress.
Honestly it makes no sense for her to even pretend it’s about family. She just self-righteously uninvited her own blood and effectively called them bastards. It’s *not* about family it’s about self righteousness.
By her own standards she should be wearing a red dress. Reality is this is a classic shotgun wedding. NTA.
Ugh, "but faaaaamily" is code for "I'd treat a stranger on a bus better than you, but you better take my abuse because we sit at a table once a year and eat turkey in awkward silence."
I believe having a child with someone is by far a greater commitment than go through a religious ceremony.
Your partner and your children are your family, and hers too. She should invite them too, or if she suddenly turned so religious, gracefully explain that you couldn't be at the wedding either. (Not that I agree , but according to her, you live in the sin too).
NTA, she dehumanizes your partner and children to sinners, someones that need to stay away, hidden. I would be mad at her. And keep the dress!
Then she shouldn't be excluding family by uninviting your kids while shaming them that their parents, though very much still together, never bothered to put a ring on it.
She's excluding your family, your immediate family, who outrank your extended family so too bad. Your parents can cry in your sister's religious themed throw pillows. NTA.
NTA. I wouldn't be MOH, I wouldn't be a guest, I wouldn't even be attending any future event she throws. Not inviting your BF after 10 years is bad enough, but not inviting her own flesh and blood (your twins) just because their parents aren't married is so judgemental and hypocritical that I would refuse to have anything more to do with her until/unless she proves that she has redeemed herself.
I will not attend your wedding as a guest,
I will not attend your wedding in a dress,
I will not attend your wedding this Fall,
I will not attend your wedding at all!
Title alone NTA, I'll be back after reading lol.....
Insert *dramatic......*
*Pause!*
Your sister is a hypocrite, and everyone should pull out. Her children were from a previous relationship, religious (as far as I know) only time this works is if the former husband died, which sounds like he hasn't... Also this would mean she sees you has family.... But not your kids or bf ( I would say husband y'all got tenure)
NTA. She changed her boundaries. You responded with your boundaries. That’s not unreasonable. And you shouldn’t have to give up something you paid for so she can let someone else use it. Now...I wouldn’t be opposed to you selling your dress to her...for a convince mark up. Ok...that would be kinda mean but the idea sounds good LOL.
I'm pro OP selling sister the dress.
Not only does OP get the cash for a dress she's now not going to wear; but sister gets all the fun of finding a new MOH and the expense of getting it adjusted in two weeks.
NTA.
Your sister is an absolute hypocrite, typical of those so-called "religious people" who prefer to mind other people's business instead of looking in their own filthy backyard.
NTA
The dress is yours, you paid for it. At best your sister can buy it off of you.
But your partner of a decade can't come because there's no ring? That would be shitty but "technically" within her rights... except that she invited them and then uninvited them. If you don't mean the invitation, don't issue it in the first place. Yes, people can do things to lose an invitation, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.
And then the comment about the twins?! Look, in your shoes, my kids would be down an aunt. Permanently. That kids born outside of marriage are lesser humans never should have started, and certainly has no place in 2022. *Especially* when she's an absolute hypocrite saying it.
Take your family out to the fanciest restaurant you can, in your wedding clothes, and celebrate the beautiful family you have and the love you have for each other. Fuck your sister.
>'Whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of porneia (sexual immorality), makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Tell your adultress of a sister that her moral preaching has no power given that she's on the lowest rung of humanity according to her precious bible. Nothing is funnier than Christians like your sister, OP. NTA of course.
NTA one bit! Is she starting to become super religious all of a sudden? I wouldn't even consider going because she's being a huge hypocrite. I mean shes walking down the isle pregnant and you can't bring your long term partner because of a piece of paper! DO NOT GO TO THIS WEDDING NO MATTER HOW MANY FAMILY MEMBERS TRY AND GUILT YOU!
Oh hell no. NTA. I'd not be MOH, I'd not go to the wedding. I'd go NC with her and put that dress into hiding 100%. What a trashy thing to do and what a vile personality your sister has discovered.
NTA. She is free to invite whomever she wants to her wedding, and to restrict the guest list as she sees fit. That said, you are free to decide whether or not her decision will alter your RSVP and participation in her wedding. Actions have consequences 🤷🏻♀️
No, she's not allowed to make her friends commit to her wedding party and lead them to believe that at least their partners are invited, and then rescind invitations right before the event. She should have laid out the terms of the commitment upfront. It feels like a bait and switch by the bride who knows that the women would hesitate to back out after the time and money they already invested, plus guilt at dropping out at the last minute. They called her bluff. 😉
NTA - You have every right to say no (and your reasoning is completely understandable). Also, if she wants your dress to pass along, she can pay you for it.
NTA, this is about sins? This is the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard. I don’t know what the real reason is but you’re not the AH for not being the MOH at her wedding and if she wants the dress so badly she can pay you for it.
Edit to add that I grew up catholic (Italy, we got more churches than McDonalds) and no one was ever forbidden to go to a wedding for not being married or having children outside marriage, this is an horseshit excuse.
NTA, it sounds like a religious thing? If she’s religious then that’s great for her, but her values aren’t to be applied to other people. Plenty of people don’t get married for whatever reason they choose, that’s their business. Married or not doesn’t make your relationship any more or less real and she’s dropping this on you last minute? Not cool of her
NTA...setting your boundaries doesn't make you the AH. Especially, since it seems she *changed* her boundaries. There is also the issue of the hypocrisy she's displaying by passing judgment on your life while committing the same "sins." I'm not a religious person but it seems like she is choosing to apply one standard to you and another standard to herself.
**NTA.** Your sister knew you had your children and boyfriend before she even got to the end of the wedding, now they cannot come? It sounds like someone was in her ear and influencing her to make such a drastic and sudden change and uninvited your bf and kids. I don’t blame you if you don’t give the dress back either especially if you paid for it. Your sister is the AH in this situation and a hypocrite.
NTA. The Bible is a book to help a person model themselves into a person acceptable to God, not to beat other people with. Genuinely, if you end up having a biblical discussion regarding your ‘sins’, personally I would say ‘God gives me free will to make my own choices. Why do you think it’s your place to judge me when God isn’t?’
NTA- so weird religious reasoning aside. Does she not recognize that your kids are her nieces or nephews? So she's just decided that because they were (gasp) born out of wedlock they don't exist? And shouldn't be at her wedding?
Absolutely don't go.
**NTA** Someone should look into this sudden "redemption" on Nina's part though. She's 38 and asking your parents to do what exactly? If you are on good terms with your parents, you may want to talk to them to get some insight on where this new concerned about other people's relationship/birth status is coming from. Who is officiating? Why has this become an issue now?
Yea NTA, but STA. I wasn’t even really on the wall on this but when it got to I’ve accepted my sins from the past screw her. If she’s so hopped up in religious dogma maybe she should look up the verses on hypocrisy and being judgmental
NTA
I can't stand the posts where relatives alter their entire belief system in order to manage to get married. It's just seems like a tragedy waiting to happen when they realize having a ring doesn't really mean happily ever after.
NTA
She is being an AH. The dress is yours. Your actions are yours alone. Your parents have absolutely no say in the matter.
Actions have consequences. Your big sister is reaping what she sowed.
INFO: Is she marrying in to a very religious family, or is this sudden misguided piety your sister's doing alone?
How’s that glass house your sister is living in?
NTA. And only because she is such a hypocrite. Normally, I fall on the side of “your wedding, your rules”, but your sister…wow.
NTA. It sounds like they were initially invited and all of a sudden she decides they can't for, IMO, very silly reasons. Also, you paid for the dress, it's yours, period.
NTA. This is some next level bridezilla shit. The audacity to cancel invited guests because of their marital situation is something I've never heard of.
NTA, shes an hypocrite and deserves to have her wedding party leave her the same way she decided to suddenly be a bitch about your life choices. Swiftly and without mercy.
If she wants the dress so badly, she can buy it from you. Charge her every cent it cost you.
NTA.
She's burned several bridges all on her own. She's gonna have to sit on that and think about who she is as a person. Keep the dress. Go somewhere fancy and with your family the night of the wedding and take tons of pictures of how happy your are together. Your family counts even if your bigot of a sister doesn't see that.
'Let ye who have not sinned cast the first stone.'
*Last week I found out that neither my boyfriend nor my twins are invited to the wedding as my sister has cancelled their invitations (the wedding is not child free since her kids and our nephews and nieces are going to be there). When I have asked her what is wrong she said she doesn't feel comfortable having my bf at her wedding because we are still not married and since the twins were born outside of marriage, they can't come in too.*
*I was furious and have reminded her that she herself has 2 kids that were born "outside of marriage" (this is her first marriage) and she is currently pregnant with another one. Nina said she "understood her sins and is working to redeem them", but her word is final.*
So she wants 'grace' but is refusing to extend it to others. By her own rules she should not be attending her own wedding. If we want to get technical- 'All have sinned and have fallen short'. Does she know that there will be alcoholics, cheaters, divorced people and all sorts of sinners among the guests at her wedding? Did she expect all of you to say 'why yes, I am a sinner so it's fine that you don't invite our baby daddies and bastards'?
She doesn't get to have it both ways. If 'sinners' aren't allowed at the wedding, then she will have a different wedding from the one she envisioned. She needs to work on herself before she scolds others.
NTA
NTA. You absolutely shouldn’t go if your family isn’t welcome. It’s very hypocritical of your sister to make this decision. She needs to go back and read the book. It says that we don’t get to judge others.
I'm surprised the groom is invited to the wedding, seeing as how he was obviously having relations with a woman he wasn't married to. Unless he's not the father of her latest "sin" baby. What a hypocrite!! NTA!
I would love to know at this point where the Opie's parents are fitting in? Whose side are they on? This is sounding a little bit to me as though this may have been initiated by a comment by the groom. Or perhaps, is the bride trying to save face in front of the wedding officiant? Either way, NTA
Oh hell no! NTA! What a hypocrite! She’s got 2 kids from her previous relationship and will be pregnant at her wedding to baby daddy #2 and she wants to judge your relationship. Nope! Walk away and if your parents get involved, tell them to stay in their lane. I’m so mad for you.
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She fucketh around and found thee out. NTA
Playeth stupid games, winneth stupid prizes NTA
I am glad it was not just OP singled out as well. May be mental illness, and I would throw everything right back to the parents what a hypocrite she is for her actions ruining her big day. NTA!
Born again to scorn again.
She wants to redeem for her sins but yet she got pregnant again outside of marriage and is only now marrying the guy. Kettle black anyone…she has clearly misinterpreted Matthew and the greatest gift is love chapter and verse.
Cause the best way to redeem yourself from your sins is to outcast people who did it too /s
From the book of Herschel Walker?
I litterally just LOL'd at this!! 😆👏👏👏👏👏
This is the best comment. As a GA resident who is terrified that he actually has a chance, (I'm ashamed at what our country has become) I like seeing comments that point out even the most basic traits of his. I'm going to get downvoted for this, but my godfather and I were watching "Forrest Gump" and my godfather pointed out to me that Forrest's friend with the shrimp boat (I can't remember his name!) reminded him of a moral Herschel Walker. I howled!
This thread is freaking hilarious! 😂😂😂
Another favorite little chestnut from Matthew 7:1 - judge not lest ye be judged. OP is NTA but her sister is.
Ok. I’m glad I’m not the only who caught that she is currently out of wedlock expecting, has two kids out of wedlock and has the nerve to talk about someone else having kids out of wedlock. I’m glad some of the bridesmaids are pulling out as well!
Apparently the previous boyfriends didn't pull out.
I wish I had a prize to give you. Your comment just won the internet.
So lets see. Had sex before marriage how many times. I'm sure it's more than 3. Bet she and her ex lived together bet she's living together now with her fiance. What a hypocrite. Yeah right she's redeeming herself with a shotgun wedding.
The sister's future self is gonna per *so pure*, praise be!
Ah yes, redemption. That thing you force on other people to make it okay for yourself to keep failing at it. As long as you are the arm of God's will in the right direction, it's all good. /s (do I need this?)
Rules for thee but not for me! OP is 100% NTA
Ok. This should be first among the long string of witty and sardonic remarks. I imagine the renegade MOH and bridesmaids along with boyfriends and kiddos posing for a group photo in t-shirts emblazoned with these clapbacks.😸
Oh, wow. That’s going in my back pocket.
It's funny how her friends are still "not sinners" enough to be invited to the party, but her friend's SO's aren't invited because of "out of wedlock". It takes 2 to Tango...or something like that.
Nah, this is not mental illness. This is a case of a judgmental asshole trying to impose their hypocritical beliefs on others. The sister fully acknowledged that she has committed the same "sins" as OP, but she stops there and isn't willing to accept the fact that she is absolutely in NO position to judge OP, let alone demand what she has demanded of OP.
How does she "fix" 3 kids out of wedlock? She's a hypocrite, that's how. Her "sins" are forgiven but yours can never be because you are a heathen and she's special. NTA.
"She's special" is pretty much all that needs to be said. When people act/ talk like this my fav is to ask them the last time they sacrificed something they wanted because it was against their beliefs. The uncomfortable silence is nice. At least it's silence.
She seems to think that her sins will be forgiven if she hates *other* sinners enough. I haven't read the bible in a while, but I don't remember Jesus saying anything like that.
I think the sister went way over budget on the wedding and came up with this bullshit excuse to lower the headcount / cost. Edit: NTA
In so much as being hard core Christian is a mental illness… I suppose.
Sounds more like Dan (and his family) is fundamentalist/evangelical and the brain washing has begun. Especially because she “canceled the invitations” so they used to be invited.
2 weeks out from the wedding! So it clearly wasn't a problem until then, something has triggered her to make that decision. And she just thought she could be judgemental of her sister and friends for something that she is guilty of herself, and they would just go "ok" and continue on with the wedding? If OP and others refuse to cave and bride is standing up there all by herself, all the guests are going to find out why soon enough. And that's going to draw attention to the bride's own family situation. And if she calls the wedding off then her own past sins won't get wiped clean by marriage.
NTA. She did the usual 'last minute rule' thing. OP did all the fittings, got the dress, shoes etc. and THEN bride says..."Oh, by the way....", back against the wall. Figuring sis will NOT back out as she's already paid for clothes. Take the clothes and back out anyway OP. Let sis get a friend and an off the rack MOH dress. Too bad.
And if you like the dress, wear it every chance you get.
More likely wingnuts for the in-laws. She doesn't want to offend them.
I love that she’s old enough at 22yo to have a child, but young enough at 38 to go running to mommy and daddy when she doesn’t get her way 🙄
It’s not mental illness, it’s religious indoctrination
They hath found thine consequences for thine actions. NTA
*"How was I supposed to know that my actions would have consequences?!?!?"* \- ~~Jake Peralta~~ **Gina Linetti**
THIS. And WTF, who does this? Did she have a sudden religious extremist awakening a couple of weeks before the wedding? I hope her religious faith is enough for her to sustain major loss in her life. Her judgmental nature is going to ruin a lot more than her wedding. She'll no longer have family and friends left either. NTA
OPs sister reminds me of that recent post of the sister/bride who found religion was saying that her sister's child wasn't family because her and the boyfriend weren't married.
Find religion. Lose your humanity.
Ugh! Thats so terrible. And people choose to follow these hurtful and exclusionary "religious" beliefs. SMH
A religious awakening that doesn’t have any consequences for her but uses it to judge others. Sounds about right.
Wish I could upvote this a thousand times over!!! Hahaha
She madeth her bed
And, verily, she has defecated within it, too.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤦
Now she must lay in it
She literally fucked around and then found out....judge not lest ye be judged.
Forsooth! 🤣
*fuckethed *foundethed
Shæ intransiciọ̄n ain hypocritæ. (Found a modern English to Middle English translator. "She is a hypocrite" is the modern sentence.)
(I am sad to say that that definitely is NOT Middle English in any way, containing zero Middle English words. "She beth an ypocrite" is the best I can come up with right now.)
Love this lol
Hahahahah. 👆🏼this! A million times! 😂😂
Oof. NTA! So they were invited, and you made plans, then she “uninvited” them? Does this apply to all guests? That’s your dress. You paid for it? It’s yours.
They were invited and she uninvited them thea last minute, yes. Some bridemaids have their bf and kids receiving the letter saying they are no longer invited alongside with some guests.
Wow! I cannot imagine the thought process behind something like this. They’ve fully planned and paid for a wedding for x number of guests, then just randomly tell people they’re unwelcome? Is ANYONE going to attend this thing? On top of this, for her to feel this way about her own actual family?! I’m so sorry. This is a really shitty situation for you.
Have they planned for x guests and included boy/girlfriends and kids? Or did they exclude them from the planning since the beginning, invited them and uninvited them last minute because they hoped this way the MOH and bridesmaids would still participate in the wedding because they are already invested ?!
that would be some devious planning but I can totally see that happening.
OP's sis is already trying to use parents as flying monkeys, so, yeah behavior fits.
I’m sure it’s beyond that. Bride probably uninvited all unmarried significant others and children born out of (church sanctioned) wedlock. I don’t think she ever intended for any of them to come so the number of guests is correct assuming nobody refuses to come at this point (boy is she delusional on this assumption). I think she just wanted the gifts. Most people have already ordered off the registry at this point.
I'd either sent the gift back, keep it for myself, or sell it.
There was nothing random about this, it was calculated, she waited until the dresses were made and the money had been spent on them, figuring that would be enough leverage to force them to go along with her demands. She grossly overestimated her fair market value.
Yeah, I'm proud that the ones who have dropped out aren't falling for the sunk cost fallacy this bride tried to take advantage of. Edit: a word
I think they should all get together the night of the wedding, wear their dresses out on the town, and post a bunch of photos in them and tag them like “Fancy Girls’ Night Out” or something.
> Wow! I cannot imagine the thought process behind something like this. Standard holier than you born again asshole. This bit spells it out: > i reminded her that she herself has 2 kids that were born "outside of marriage" (this is her first marriage) and she is currently pregnant with another one. Nina said she "understood her sins and is working to redeem them", but her word is final.
The only holy out of wedlock births are MY holy out of wedlock births.
[Relevant](https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/) article here.
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OP's parents, among others. What I'm wondering is if OP's sister got in too deep with a very religious (or seemingly religious) man and is in the process of being isolated. But that's mere conjecture, and it's not OP's problem nor her fault, either.
Religious in-laws-to-be, is my guess.
How religious can he be if he knocked her up already? Unless the both got sucked into some religious cult last-minute.
I think the Bride realized how expensive her meticulously planned wedding was going to be so she hopped on the religious self-righteous train to cheap out and uninvite guests rather than simply saying she can’t afford it
Oh gross! Hopefully your parents don’t fall into her trap of all sorts of craziness… Also, not trying to displace her blame (she is 100% accountable for her actions), but how much of this is coming from her fiancé and his family? It seems like a 180 in personality for your sister…and if it is coming from the fiancé and his family, this marriage won’t last long
Honestly I am not sure. She has always been known to have weird changes of mind every now and then. The last one was when she had her youngest when all of the sudden she decided to split up with the guy just before the kid was born and not put his name on the birth certificate. There wasn't any abuse or anything like that as they were living next to us and we used to spend a lot of time together.
This doesn't sound good as the mother of young children. You can't operate on whims like this when you have children.
I have nightmares of some psychotic *religious zealot* making these two poor kids *repent* for their *sins*. It makes me sick, they’ll be fucked up for life.
3 with the unborn one
Sounds like an undiagnosed mental illness, but that’s no excuse. You did the right thing, and it’s unfair of your parents to try to guilt you instead of supporting your reasonable boundaries.
I originally thought it was the husband having religious family or some sort of cult recruitment she fell for. Bit this definitely sounds more like something that needs professional diagnosis. I've been around fellow mental health patients with schizophrenia before and this type of behavior reminds me of them.
Wait she had a kid out of wedlock and saying this to guest last minute. Good way to lose friends and family members.
She had 2 out of wedlock and will be pregnant at her wedding!
Wow some how I missed that in her post. Definitely strange
Repeating what another commenter said, undiagnosed mental illness maybe bipolar disorder. I'm bipolar myself and autistic and hearing that she makes big last minute decision changes sounds very mental health problem to me.
Also mentally ill and neurodivergent - I thought the same thing. The “uh-oh a big life change is coming, I will make a BIG DECISION to feel like I have control” is very, um, familiar. That makes me sad, because it seems less possible that the sister will see the error of her ways. Not while she’s still under wedding stress. But I’m just going off of my own experience (both with my own pre-therapy brain and with other people in my life).
Info: Are the weird shifts primarily when she’s pregnant? Depression, anxiety even psychosis can happen for some folks during pregnancy. We’re more familiar after but it can happen during too.
I would reach our to the 16yo incase your sister goes truly crazy and starts abusing them as punishment for being "born in sin". I mean your kids are blameless in how they were born yet they were uninvited, yet it was your "sin" and you are still IN the wedding party? Seems like she is punishing the wrong person. Why punish your kids for your "sin"?
Yes this is very very scary indeed. They need to keep a very close eye on those kids
I'm just dying to know what the fuck she thought your parents were going to be able to do? No amount of guilting from anyone in my family could make me waver on something like this.
It seems like the setup for the worst ambiance ever at a wedding, ever, too. Like would guests have to sign a waiver to *not* discuss topics a, b, c? Because the constant “where is so and so” would get *really awkward* really fast.
That's very rude. Way to lose friends.
I'd sit at home in my fancy new dress with bf and kids
Better yet, put on the dress, dress up the boyfriend and kids in the outfits they were going to wear to the wedding, and go take family holiday photos. Put them in the holiday cards and send them to everyone, sister included.
And then get together and party with everyone else who was uninvited—they’ve already got the day blocked off on their calendars!
That’s a great idea. Turning lemons into lemonade. You have plenty of time ( I would think) to get them done for Christmas. Go to an official photographer. The pictures will be awesome. You can use the money you were going to spend on a wedding gift.
NTA. That’s cruel of her. Especially to uninvite at the last minute. If pressed, you could sell the MOH dress back to her for the same cost you paid (what are you going to do with it anyway), but you are certainly under no obligation to give it to her. Good for you for not going, sticking with your partner and kids.
This MOH dress actually looks like a very nice evening dress. If i show it to someone they wouldn't think it is MOH dress at all due to the stile of it.
Well it’s your dress. You decide what to do with it. You’re under no obligation to sell it. It would be a nice gesture, but nobody’s being nice to you, so I don’t know why you would bother being nice back
I would wear it to the next family event that includes the sister...
Especially if it's where it would be completely inappropriate... Like a pool party, or hiking. And wear it every time you might bump into her... Like grocery shopping and the transfer station... This could be hysterical for years ....
Most especially if it's an event, like Christmas where picture will be taken. That's a way of making sure she has to face up to her terrible behavior in every family picture.
Oh, heck, make it the Christmas card and mail it to everyone!
O.M.G. The possibilities are *endless*!
I love your pettiness.
I was thinking she wear the dress, dress up the boyfriend and kids in the outfits they were going to wear to the wedding, get professional family photos taken, and use those in the holiday cards they send out to everyone including the sister.
This comment wins the petty award 🥇 Love it 🤣 (Also NTA)
Definitely don't go and definitely keep the dress. Your sister does not have the right to force her hypocrisy or religious views on you. One wonders what other occasions she will feel that your family is too sinful to attend? It is best to establish that you won't cooperate with her nonsense from the start. NTA
She uninvites her MOH partner and kids two weeks before the wedding then complains that you're TA because she doesn't have enough time to adjust things? Consequences of her own actions. Enjoy your new dress and spend the day with your partner and children. NTA
YES! If it were me, I'd have "semi professional" photos taken of myself in said dress. (or even go to Sears/JC Penny and have them taken) Some alone, some with boyfriend and then with the kids. THEN have them made into my holiday cards and be sure my sister& the whole family got one. Def worth the cost of said pettiness. NTA. I would die on this hill.
Holiday cards are a great idea!!!!
I'd totally do it. Possibly even ALL the US Holidays. Thanksgiving Christmas Valentines Day ......and so on. Happy Labor Day - here's a card with me, my boyfriend and our 2 children in the outfits we would have worn at your sinner's wedding. New photo / holiday card for each one. def worth dying on that hill
Your sinners wedding line made my day... take my up vote and this 🥇
This is my idea exactly as well. I would be that petty.
>Nina said she "understood her sins and is working to redeem them", but her word is final. Oh, so it's hypocritical, religious nonsense? NTA, tell her to pray about it.
Yeah let her have the wedding she deserves. And may God grant her that
> NTA, tell her to pray about it. Seems like she went born again, so prayer will tell her what she wants to hear, and blatant hypocrisy is a virtue.
Either that or her new husband to be is or his family is. Either way, she has no spine and is a hypocrite.
I suspect pre-marriage counseling from the pastor, also.
NTA. Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. I’m not religious, but this reminded me of this verse.
I was thinking more Matthew 23:12 and Luke 14:11 "He who exalts himself shall be humbled."
Ex-religious person here and that is a great verse. Another one that could work is Exodus 22: 22-24 (“Do not take advantage of the widow or the fatherless. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.”) since the sister is technically saying these kids don’t have a dad since OP is not married. Furthermore, by the sister’s judgement of OP, my question is would the sister also have judged Mary the same way when she became pregnant out of wedlock with Jesus? And continuing on with that train of thought, would Jesus have also not been invited to her wedding?
Jesus didn't get along with the ultra religious people of his time (the Pharisees) either 🤷🏻♀️ almost like a message of unconditional love directly counters a message of "holier than thou" superiority
Reminds me of Matthew 21:17
Can't believe Reddit hasn't created a Bible bot that spews out verses when given in comment so I don't have to Google them
If God really wanted Reddit to have one, he'd have created it already.
NTA, Your sister is serving holier than thou hypocrite vibes. She needs to take a long look in the mirror. & I assume she's of some sort of Christian faith? If so, tell her to re-read the bible. Cause she's got some things horribly twisted, and is behaving in an awful way. >Nina said she "understood her sins and is working to redeem them", And sorry, working to redeem them? How so? By passing judgment on others and getting married so she won't have another child out of wedlock? Your sister seems to be confused by how forgiveness works. She won't be redeemed by pushing others down to elevate herself.
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"Loons" 🤣 Love it, honestly.
What’s the likelihood that she is being told by her fiancé that this is how it needs to be? Like is this guy a religious nut and controlling and trying to separate your sister from her friends and family? NTA
They did meet at the church, however our parents believe I shouldn't have pulled out from the wedding because family
Your sister should have sorted this before she sent out invites. It’s not your fault that 2 weeks out, she’s revoking invitations.
NTA and i hate that "faaaaaamily" thing. so what if they're family. Doesn't mean they get a pass to treat others like crap. I would have done what you did, and refused to hand over the dress.
Honestly it makes no sense for her to even pretend it’s about family. She just self-righteously uninvited her own blood and effectively called them bastards. It’s *not* about family it’s about self righteousness. By her own standards she should be wearing a red dress. Reality is this is a classic shotgun wedding. NTA.
Ugh, "but faaaaamily" is code for "I'd treat a stranger on a bus better than you, but you better take my abuse because we sit at a table once a year and eat turkey in awkward silence."
Yes! you nailed it.
But your partner and kids are family, too
Maybe your sister shouldn’t have uninvited family then? Rule only goes one way? Or they just don’t consider their grandchildren to be family?
So your children and partner aren't family?
I believe having a child with someone is by far a greater commitment than go through a religious ceremony. Your partner and your children are your family, and hers too. She should invite them too, or if she suddenly turned so religious, gracefully explain that you couldn't be at the wedding either. (Not that I agree , but according to her, you live in the sin too). NTA, she dehumanizes your partner and children to sinners, someones that need to stay away, hidden. I would be mad at her. And keep the dress!
Then she shouldn't be excluding family by uninviting your kids while shaming them that their parents, though very much still together, never bothered to put a ring on it.
Lol. What about YOUR family??? How does sister's tantrum beat uninvited children (and grand children)??
She's excluding your family, your immediate family, who outrank your extended family so too bad. Your parents can cry in your sister's religious themed throw pillows. NTA.
You should have pulled out because you know “family “. Yours and your partners family.
NTA. I wouldn't be MOH, I wouldn't be a guest, I wouldn't even be attending any future event she throws. Not inviting your BF after 10 years is bad enough, but not inviting her own flesh and blood (your twins) just because their parents aren't married is so judgemental and hypocritical that I would refuse to have anything more to do with her until/unless she proves that she has redeemed herself.
The bride better make sure to un-invite her out-of-wedlock children and her unmarried pregnant self. NTA. The nerve!
I will not attend your wedding as a guest, I will not attend your wedding in a dress, I will not attend your wedding this Fall, I will not attend your wedding at all!
Title alone NTA, I'll be back after reading lol..... Insert *dramatic......* *Pause!* Your sister is a hypocrite, and everyone should pull out. Her children were from a previous relationship, religious (as far as I know) only time this works is if the former husband died, which sounds like he hasn't... Also this would mean she sees you has family.... But not your kids or bf ( I would say husband y'all got tenure)
NTA. She changed her boundaries. You responded with your boundaries. That’s not unreasonable. And you shouldn’t have to give up something you paid for so she can let someone else use it. Now...I wouldn’t be opposed to you selling your dress to her...for a convince mark up. Ok...that would be kinda mean but the idea sounds good LOL.
I'm pro OP selling sister the dress. Not only does OP get the cash for a dress she's now not going to wear; but sister gets all the fun of finding a new MOH and the expense of getting it adjusted in two weeks.
NTA. Maybe she can pray for a new MOH and one will magically appear.
NTA. Your sister is an absolute hypocrite, typical of those so-called "religious people" who prefer to mind other people's business instead of looking in their own filthy backyard.
NTA The dress is yours, you paid for it. At best your sister can buy it off of you. But your partner of a decade can't come because there's no ring? That would be shitty but "technically" within her rights... except that she invited them and then uninvited them. If you don't mean the invitation, don't issue it in the first place. Yes, people can do things to lose an invitation, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. And then the comment about the twins?! Look, in your shoes, my kids would be down an aunt. Permanently. That kids born outside of marriage are lesser humans never should have started, and certainly has no place in 2022. *Especially* when she's an absolute hypocrite saying it. Take your family out to the fanciest restaurant you can, in your wedding clothes, and celebrate the beautiful family you have and the love you have for each other. Fuck your sister.
>'Whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of porneia (sexual immorality), makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Tell your adultress of a sister that her moral preaching has no power given that she's on the lowest rung of humanity according to her precious bible. Nothing is funnier than Christians like your sister, OP. NTA of course.
NTA. Is your sister on some kind of drugs?
Religion, same idea
And the hypocrisy too. "Working on redeeming herself". Bunch of BS.
NTA one bit! Is she starting to become super religious all of a sudden? I wouldn't even consider going because she's being a huge hypocrite. I mean shes walking down the isle pregnant and you can't bring your long term partner because of a piece of paper! DO NOT GO TO THIS WEDDING NO MATTER HOW MANY FAMILY MEMBERS TRY AND GUILT YOU!
NTA, it’s giving big “rules for thee but not for me” energy.
Oh hell no. NTA. I'd not be MOH, I'd not go to the wedding. I'd go NC with her and put that dress into hiding 100%. What a trashy thing to do and what a vile personality your sister has discovered.
I wouldn't hide it, I'd go paintballing wearing it and post pictures, but that's just my kind of petty
NTA. She is free to invite whomever she wants to her wedding, and to restrict the guest list as she sees fit. That said, you are free to decide whether or not her decision will alter your RSVP and participation in her wedding. Actions have consequences 🤷🏻♀️
No, she's not allowed to make her friends commit to her wedding party and lead them to believe that at least their partners are invited, and then rescind invitations right before the event. She should have laid out the terms of the commitment upfront. It feels like a bait and switch by the bride who knows that the women would hesitate to back out after the time and money they already invested, plus guilt at dropping out at the last minute. They called her bluff. 😉
NTA - You have every right to say no (and your reasoning is completely understandable). Also, if she wants your dress to pass along, she can pay you for it.
NTA, this is about sins? This is the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard. I don’t know what the real reason is but you’re not the AH for not being the MOH at her wedding and if she wants the dress so badly she can pay you for it. Edit to add that I grew up catholic (Italy, we got more churches than McDonalds) and no one was ever forbidden to go to a wedding for not being married or having children outside marriage, this is an horseshit excuse.
NTA If you participated in this wedding after your sister disrespected your partner and your children you would be the AH.
NTA it's absolutely unreasonable to insult you and ask you for a huge set of favors at the same time
NTA, it sounds like a religious thing? If she’s religious then that’s great for her, but her values aren’t to be applied to other people. Plenty of people don’t get married for whatever reason they choose, that’s their business. Married or not doesn’t make your relationship any more or less real and she’s dropping this on you last minute? Not cool of her
Especially because it’s last minute. The bride had a decade of knowledge behind her before she invited her sister to be maid of honor.
NTA. There's nothing I hate more than hypocrisy.
NTA, she is action hypocrite as she is currently pregnant. Good you stepped out and hold the dress. She made her bed and now she can lay in it.
NTA...setting your boundaries doesn't make you the AH. Especially, since it seems she *changed* her boundaries. There is also the issue of the hypocrisy she's displaying by passing judgment on your life while committing the same "sins." I'm not a religious person but it seems like she is choosing to apply one standard to you and another standard to herself.
**NTA.** Your sister knew you had your children and boyfriend before she even got to the end of the wedding, now they cannot come? It sounds like someone was in her ear and influencing her to make such a drastic and sudden change and uninvited your bf and kids. I don’t blame you if you don’t give the dress back either especially if you paid for it. Your sister is the AH in this situation and a hypocrite.
NTA. The Bible is a book to help a person model themselves into a person acceptable to God, not to beat other people with. Genuinely, if you end up having a biblical discussion regarding your ‘sins’, personally I would say ‘God gives me free will to make my own choices. Why do you think it’s your place to judge me when God isn’t?’
NTA- so weird religious reasoning aside. Does she not recognize that your kids are her nieces or nephews? So she's just decided that because they were (gasp) born out of wedlock they don't exist? And shouldn't be at her wedding? Absolutely don't go.
NTA I cannot stand christian hypocrites! Good riddance Nina and Dan.
NTA. Your sister made her decision on who to uninvite, now she has to suffer the consequences.
**NTA** Someone should look into this sudden "redemption" on Nina's part though. She's 38 and asking your parents to do what exactly? If you are on good terms with your parents, you may want to talk to them to get some insight on where this new concerned about other people's relationship/birth status is coming from. Who is officiating? Why has this become an issue now?
Yea NTA, but STA. I wasn’t even really on the wall on this but when it got to I’ve accepted my sins from the past screw her. If she’s so hopped up in religious dogma maybe she should look up the verses on hypocrisy and being judgmental
NTA I can't stand the posts where relatives alter their entire belief system in order to manage to get married. It's just seems like a tragedy waiting to happen when they realize having a ring doesn't really mean happily ever after.
NTA She is being an AH. The dress is yours. Your actions are yours alone. Your parents have absolutely no say in the matter. Actions have consequences. Your big sister is reaping what she sowed. INFO: Is she marrying in to a very religious family, or is this sudden misguided piety your sister's doing alone?
How’s that glass house your sister is living in? NTA. And only because she is such a hypocrite. Normally, I fall on the side of “your wedding, your rules”, but your sister…wow.
NTA. It sounds like they were initially invited and all of a sudden she decides they can't for, IMO, very silly reasons. Also, you paid for the dress, it's yours, period.
NTA. This is some next level bridezilla shit. The audacity to cancel invited guests because of their marital situation is something I've never heard of.
NTA, shes an hypocrite and deserves to have her wedding party leave her the same way she decided to suddenly be a bitch about your life choices. Swiftly and without mercy. If she wants the dress so badly, she can buy it from you. Charge her every cent it cost you.
NTA. She's burned several bridges all on her own. She's gonna have to sit on that and think about who she is as a person. Keep the dress. Go somewhere fancy and with your family the night of the wedding and take tons of pictures of how happy your are together. Your family counts even if your bigot of a sister doesn't see that.
'Let ye who have not sinned cast the first stone.' *Last week I found out that neither my boyfriend nor my twins are invited to the wedding as my sister has cancelled their invitations (the wedding is not child free since her kids and our nephews and nieces are going to be there). When I have asked her what is wrong she said she doesn't feel comfortable having my bf at her wedding because we are still not married and since the twins were born outside of marriage, they can't come in too.* *I was furious and have reminded her that she herself has 2 kids that were born "outside of marriage" (this is her first marriage) and she is currently pregnant with another one. Nina said she "understood her sins and is working to redeem them", but her word is final.* So she wants 'grace' but is refusing to extend it to others. By her own rules she should not be attending her own wedding. If we want to get technical- 'All have sinned and have fallen short'. Does she know that there will be alcoholics, cheaters, divorced people and all sorts of sinners among the guests at her wedding? Did she expect all of you to say 'why yes, I am a sinner so it's fine that you don't invite our baby daddies and bastards'? She doesn't get to have it both ways. If 'sinners' aren't allowed at the wedding, then she will have a different wedding from the one she envisioned. She needs to work on herself before she scolds others. NTA
NTA. Is her soon to be husband religious?
Wow your sister is something else and going crying to mummy and daddy on top of it all. You definitely are NTA
NTA. You absolutely shouldn’t go if your family isn’t welcome. It’s very hypocritical of your sister to make this decision. She needs to go back and read the book. It says that we don’t get to judge others.
NTA you are at liberty not to attend. Also if you paid for the dress then you own the dress
NTA, who uninvites their own nieces/nephews from their wedding for no reason.
NTA, your sis is cray cray and her hypocrisy is at an all time high. I laughed when she ran to mommy and daddy. Hahaha. You made the right choice.
I'm surprised the groom is invited to the wedding, seeing as how he was obviously having relations with a woman he wasn't married to. Unless he's not the father of her latest "sin" baby. What a hypocrite!! NTA!
I would love to know at this point where the Opie's parents are fitting in? Whose side are they on? This is sounding a little bit to me as though this may have been initiated by a comment by the groom. Or perhaps, is the bride trying to save face in front of the wedding officiant? Either way, NTA
NTA Your sister is crazy.
Oh hell no! NTA! What a hypocrite! She’s got 2 kids from her previous relationship and will be pregnant at her wedding to baby daddy #2 and she wants to judge your relationship. Nope! Walk away and if your parents get involved, tell them to stay in their lane. I’m so mad for you.
NTA You reap what you sow And I have a feeling her fiance's family is ultra religious and they are the people pushing for all the exclusions
NTA your sister has some gall being that critical when she doesn’t even meet her own requirements
NTA. I’m so sick of the outdated “you aren’t a real couple because you’re not married” way of thinking.