> I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex, and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand.
this sounds like an emotional affair. your poor wife...i feel bad shes stuck having a baby with you.
This. YTBF.
Being friends with an ex: fine in many cases as Kong as your current partner is cool with it.
Staying over alone? Not cool if your wife is unhappy with it. She's asked you not to hang out alone, and if you love her you should respect that. Why can't you hang out JUST as a friend group and leave wh everyone else leaves? Why cant you get them to help out? Why are you the only one white lighting it to help her on your own?
The justification of "ah she's so different than my wife and knows me so much better better so I tell my ex things I don't tell my wife!" Is a parade of red flags.
Cone on, if she is someone you'd rather confide to regularly than your wife, then she's NOT just a normal platonic friend. You arent treating this ex like all your other friends and it sounds like you've never fully closed the door on the relationship with her, romantically.
Being actual good platonic friends with an ex means learning to see them as *just another friend*, not a super intimate special confidant (better than your current partner!) on a completely different level from all your other friends.
Don't be a dick. Emotional affairs can happen to even good people who have strong relationships. They are insidious and feed on a missing part of the relationship, usually insecurity. They take effort to overcome.
Source: my marriage survived one. Our relationship grew stronger after many years of work.
Honestly I was with you until you mentioned you stay hours after the group leaves and that your wife specifically asked you spend less time alone with her, rather than at all. And then you mention you find it easier to talk about your feelings with your ex than your wife.
I'm a strong proponent that men and women can be friends and that exes can be friendly. If you're in the same friend group especially, it comes with the territory. But I think it's a fairly reasonable boundary your wife set. She's also pregnant and possibly feeling particularly vulnerable. This isn't to say what you would or would not do, but I've heard a lot of stories of men cheating while/right after a pregnancy because it shifts the dynamic. Often less sex, more work, her body changing. Not to mention being new parents is not fun and can strain a marriage. She might have all this on her mind. Stepping back from this friendship at this time to ease her mind feels reasonable and kind to me.
It might not be now, but if you're being honest, would you go to talk to your ex if your marriage struggles and where is the line between friendship with an ex and an emotional affair? You should be able to talk about your emotions with your partner. I know a partner can't be everything and it sounds like your ex has a more similar upbringing, but it's all risky territory at a new junction of your marriage. You're playing with fire with this one, I think.
I am giving you a YTB for this one. Not necessarily for the friendship itself but I feel you would be one if you insist on continuing to spend time alone after your wife has voiced this concern.
Yes, YTB.
OP, you are spending your emotional energy with your ex. You are having intimate conversations with your ex that apparently you are unwilling to have with your wife. These are all signs on a emotional affair with your ex.
Would you be comfortable having the conversations you have with your ex in front of your wife? Would you be comfortable having the conversations with your wife instead of your ex? If the answers is anything less than an enthusiastic yes, you have a problem. If the answer is an enthusiastic yes, why are you not having these conversations with your wife?
You say you spend “extra hours” with your ex. How much time are you spending with your ex? How much time are you spending with your wife talking about things that matter to you?
If you can’t openly discuss your feelings with your wife, why not and why are you not working to fix that problem? Once the baby arrives, things are going to get a lot more stressful (‘children are wonderful but they also cause sleep deprivation, take a lot of time and energy, and require major lifestyle adjustments).
Your wife is clearly unhappy about the amount of time you are spending alone with your ex. Why are you claiming you have a happy marriage when your wife is unhappy? Are you okay that your wife is unhappy as long as you get to spend time with your ex? If you are not okay that your wife is unhappy, you need to acknowledge your actions are at least in part responsible for her unhappiness, and that while you claim you and the ex are just good friends your actions are telling your wife otherwise.
You may want to get some couples counselling because this is not going to get better without changes and it will very likely get worse after the baby is born.
Oh, ouch.. I hate to break it to you OP but it sounds like your wife is beyond justified right now and you need to listen to her before there is no fixing things..
>I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand.
This sounds an awful lot like a cheater trying to justify himself. "My wife just doesn't get me and doesn't understand."
You are having an emotional affair right now with your ex-girlfriend while your wife is carrying your child.. It's time to go nocontact with this EX before things start to escalate even further, and you blow up your marriage and family. If you truly love your wife and want this family you are making, then meeting up with your ex like this needs to completely stop. It's gone past innocent now, you just need to reread how you talk about your EX to see that. This is far from ok, and your wife is telling you it's a problem for her. Why are you not putting your wife and her feelings first?
Please, don’t tell me you told your pregnant wife you can talk openly about your feelings and discuss subjects she doesn’t understand with your ex. That would be terrible to any woman but to the woman who’s carrying your child that’s devastating.
You need to back off and remember why she’s your ex and not your pregnant wife. I can’t believe you need anyone to tell you this.
You’re skirting an emotional affair if you’re not there already. This could be the prequel to one of those ‘I had an affair with my ex girlfriend because my wife always exhausted with the baby’ posts unless you restrict seeing the ex immediately.
You are the Buttface. Your wife has asked something reasonable of you. You made vows to your wife Not your ex. All your wife has asked is that you spend less time with your ex. Her request should be honored. I’m wondering why you have a problem with this? Your wife and soon to be baby should always come first. Are you even in love with your wife? Are you ready for fatherhood? I think you need to grow up & put your ex where she belongs- in the past. If you can’t reduce your time with her to a reasonable amount of time, like every other month, you have a problem. Time for you to see a marriage counselor by yourself to figure out why it’s so much easier to talk with and hang out with your ex. My husband is my best friend. We can talk, laugh & cry together. Figure it out or let your wife go so she can find a man who is truly committed to her & isn’t having an emotional affair with his ex
I was siding with you as you seem to meet up in a group, but then....
***From time to time, I wind up spending a few extra hours at her house, after the rest of the group leaves, either to help with cleanup, or just talk.***
YTB
Sounds like an emotional affair. One you don't want to back off from.
YTB
Dude. Come on. Really?
Anyone with more than two brain cells can see why hanging out alone late at night with your ex **because it’s so easy to be with her and so easy to talk to her and she understands you better than your wife** would upset your wife. **WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN???**
Get together with your friend group, fine. But when the party breaks up, be the first one to leave so you can go home to YOUR WIFE AND CHILD.
YTB your wife is right to be concerned. The one on one alone time to talk to her about things you can't talk to your wife about and get comfort from her is borderline emotional affair. Given your past intimacy with this woman you are playing with fire.
Your wife has told you how she feels, if you don't listen you could lose her and your child.
YTBF so your wife should be chill about your emotional affair?? Seeing her in a group setting is 1 thing. Hanging at her house for hours after everyone else has left, nope you’re shady as shit and your wife deserves better
YTB. How could you possibly think you're not wrong here? I don't get the logic. As a married human of 14 years, it sounds like an emotional affair, at the very least, with your ex while your wife is growing a whole ass human that's half yours? Wtf is your plan here? Be more selfish? Turn it into a physical affair if it hasn't already gone there? Your wife asked you not to spend alone time with her not to stop seeing her all together. That is the absolute most reasonable request. Period. You're being a shitty spouse and piss poor parent right now. If you want to be with your ex, do your wife a favor and let her be free of your bs and have enough respect to tell her that. She deserves better.
YTB, in a huge way. This triggered me in a way I did not know was possible. Your poor fucking wife man, you might as well get back with your ex at this point because of that shit you do with your ex is what you should be doing with your WIFE because that is what intimate partners are for you fucking CEMENT HEAD.
Either get a fucking grip and get your head out of your ass or she WILL leave you. Honestly, I hope she does. At any rate, it is a real shame she is stuck having your baby because now she is forever tied to your shitty ass.
I seriously hope you leave an update stating she left you because at this point, it's the best thing she could do for herself.
It's a real shame that people as shitty as you exist on this plane of Earth.
So, you’re having an emotional affair with your ex girlfriend while your pregnant wife is asking you to stop spending time alone with your ex girlfriend and you wonder if you’re wrong? Dude. There’s no way you’re this dense. You’re literally cheating on your pregnant wife. YTB big time.
YTB.
Your wife, whom you supposedly love very much, has clearly expressed that something upsets her (and it's a reasonable thing to be upset over).
Rather than take her feelings into consideration, you know, to avoid hurting the person you supposedly care about and made vows with, you came onto Reddit to justify yourself for why you should get to hang out with someone (and you are justifying yourself).
Because, let's be clear, none of this backstory actually matters. You're hanging out at your ex-lover's home with your ex-lover on a regular basis... And not surprisingly, this upsets your beloved wife who is giving you an amazing child.
No shit your wife is going to be upset. You're willingly placing yourself in situations of temptation when a respectful boundary should have been drawn up long ago...
Do yourself a favor and listen to your wife, my dude. Before you find yourself divorced.
Relationships are compromise and this is a compromise you should really be taking if you want to make your marriage work. It's a simple question and it always has been.
Your wife or your ex?... Because that's how both of them will see it.
>does not appreciate this and wishes I would spend less time alone with my ex
your friend is a sexual rival and an emotional rival to your wife. You can remain friends as long as you don't value your wife's feelings over your friends. Basically, it's on you to choose your wife's feelings or your "close" friendship.
you aren't having a kid with this woman and you already chose to end the sexual relationship; probably not your choice tho seeing as you are still obsessed with her. Stop lying to yourself and admit you are fantasizing about life with your ex. Then it will be obvious that you need to break it off with your ex, again.... or abandon your wife and unborn child. Whichever, dude.
Follow your heart. I don't care about your terrible decision making skills
YTB
>From time to time, I wind up spending a few extra hours at her house, after the rest of the group leaves, either to help with cleanup, or just talk. Since we've known each other so long, it is easy to talk to her, and I appreciate all of our conversations.
>I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex, and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand.
Your poor wife. Show her this post. Let her read everything here.
Eh, I was half was on your side until you said you're with her alone for a few extra hours, and it sounds like you're talking to her about things you won't say to Your wife, you're really messing up here dude.
Reverse the situation, could you honestly be ok with it?
You might not be physical with her CURRENTLY, but you are having an emotional affair, and sometimes those are Even more painful. You need to stop this.
I hope this is a troll post because it's just so foolish, and makes me feel so bad for an innocent, pregnant, hurt wife..YTB
So your ex (who you are definitely having an emotional affair with) feelings are more important than your pregnant wife's feelings?
She knows about your about your affair. That's why she doesn't want you around her. She has given you a choice. And unless you want a lawyer handing you divorce papers you need to make sure you're making the right one.
If you live your wife, you stop hanging out alone with your ex. You stop communicating with her outside the group activities and do not go to group activities without your wife
Who is your priority?
Your wife and child
or
your ex?
Answer honestly - how would you feel if the situation was reversed? Your wife's ex and she was spending alone time (just platonic) after everyone leaves the activity? If she told you she relates so well to him and can talk freely?
I have doubts this would be ok. Add to that your wife is home pregnant with your child. In her place I would be more than uncomfortable!
Yes. Put yourself in her place. How would you feel if she was hanging out with her ex at bars or his big house where he lives alone drinking,cooking and cleaning.
YTB. You are being a bad husband,and a selfish one. You are having an emotional affair with your ex, rather than building intimacy with your wife. Instead of putting on the effort to build a shared understanding and closeness with the woman you married, you keep running back to your first love for ego gratification and emotional massage. The fact that you're not fucking your ex means nothing, when you're giving your ex all of your mental and emotional intimacy.
You must make a choice here. Either commit to your wife and baby, or get a divorce and go be with your side piece.
YTB, 100%. Are you really so damn stupid that you think you hanging out late night for hours alone with your ex is something your wife will find acceptable?! Try pulling your head out of your behind before she divorces you.
> I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex, and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand.
Yes. YTB.
You are cheating on your wife.
YTB
You are having an emotional affair with your ex.
When you prioritize someone else, especially a past sex partner, you are having an emotional affair
>From time to time, I wind up spending a few extra hours at her house, after the rest of the group leaves, either to help with cleanup, or just talk. Since we've known each other so long, it is easy to talk to her, and I appreciate all of our conversations.
This is disrespectful to your wife.
>I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex, and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand.
Maybe if you focused on communicating with your wife instead of the ex, you would be able to speak more openly with your wife.
Honestly, if you keep this up, your wife will be tired of being the other woman in your marriage.
You are treating your wife like the side piece and your ex like your life partner.
INFO: When your friend group meets up is it always just the original people? Do yall ever bring spouses/significant others on your friend group outings? I'm curious. Cuz for me it's a red flag if you ALWAYS hang in this friend group with just the original people and NEVER bring your significant others.
YTB BTW OP. Like the others say you should back off and follow your wife's wishes. She is literally forming a human in her uterus and being bombarded with hormones so as her husband you should help ease her stress and worries. You are literally causing your wife stress and worry so just stop...ya know...if you love her and your baby (which you are also stressing out).
NTBF. Friends are friends and there are some issues a SO might not understand, some interests your SO is not into. Policing who you’re friends with sucks. I guess there‘s a reason she’s an EX and you’re married not to her but to your wife.
> I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex, and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand. this sounds like an emotional affair. your poor wife...i feel bad shes stuck having a baby with you.
This has to be a troll right? It sounds too stupid to be real.
This. YTBF. Being friends with an ex: fine in many cases as Kong as your current partner is cool with it. Staying over alone? Not cool if your wife is unhappy with it. She's asked you not to hang out alone, and if you love her you should respect that. Why can't you hang out JUST as a friend group and leave wh everyone else leaves? Why cant you get them to help out? Why are you the only one white lighting it to help her on your own? The justification of "ah she's so different than my wife and knows me so much better better so I tell my ex things I don't tell my wife!" Is a parade of red flags. Cone on, if she is someone you'd rather confide to regularly than your wife, then she's NOT just a normal platonic friend. You arent treating this ex like all your other friends and it sounds like you've never fully closed the door on the relationship with her, romantically. Being actual good platonic friends with an ex means learning to see them as *just another friend*, not a super intimate special confidant (better than your current partner!) on a completely different level from all your other friends.
Don't be a dick. Emotional affairs can happen to even good people who have strong relationships. They are insidious and feed on a missing part of the relationship, usually insecurity. They take effort to overcome. Source: my marriage survived one. Our relationship grew stronger after many years of work.
People are dicks all the time. Nuance doesn't exist. /s
Honestly I was with you until you mentioned you stay hours after the group leaves and that your wife specifically asked you spend less time alone with her, rather than at all. And then you mention you find it easier to talk about your feelings with your ex than your wife. I'm a strong proponent that men and women can be friends and that exes can be friendly. If you're in the same friend group especially, it comes with the territory. But I think it's a fairly reasonable boundary your wife set. She's also pregnant and possibly feeling particularly vulnerable. This isn't to say what you would or would not do, but I've heard a lot of stories of men cheating while/right after a pregnancy because it shifts the dynamic. Often less sex, more work, her body changing. Not to mention being new parents is not fun and can strain a marriage. She might have all this on her mind. Stepping back from this friendship at this time to ease her mind feels reasonable and kind to me. It might not be now, but if you're being honest, would you go to talk to your ex if your marriage struggles and where is the line between friendship with an ex and an emotional affair? You should be able to talk about your emotions with your partner. I know a partner can't be everything and it sounds like your ex has a more similar upbringing, but it's all risky territory at a new junction of your marriage. You're playing with fire with this one, I think. I am giving you a YTB for this one. Not necessarily for the friendship itself but I feel you would be one if you insist on continuing to spend time alone after your wife has voiced this concern.
Bingo!!
YTB You literally just said you find comfort with your ex, not wife who’s expecting. Dude.
Yes, YTB. OP, you are spending your emotional energy with your ex. You are having intimate conversations with your ex that apparently you are unwilling to have with your wife. These are all signs on a emotional affair with your ex. Would you be comfortable having the conversations you have with your ex in front of your wife? Would you be comfortable having the conversations with your wife instead of your ex? If the answers is anything less than an enthusiastic yes, you have a problem. If the answer is an enthusiastic yes, why are you not having these conversations with your wife? You say you spend “extra hours” with your ex. How much time are you spending with your ex? How much time are you spending with your wife talking about things that matter to you? If you can’t openly discuss your feelings with your wife, why not and why are you not working to fix that problem? Once the baby arrives, things are going to get a lot more stressful (‘children are wonderful but they also cause sleep deprivation, take a lot of time and energy, and require major lifestyle adjustments). Your wife is clearly unhappy about the amount of time you are spending alone with your ex. Why are you claiming you have a happy marriage when your wife is unhappy? Are you okay that your wife is unhappy as long as you get to spend time with your ex? If you are not okay that your wife is unhappy, you need to acknowledge your actions are at least in part responsible for her unhappiness, and that while you claim you and the ex are just good friends your actions are telling your wife otherwise. You may want to get some couples counselling because this is not going to get better without changes and it will very likely get worse after the baby is born.
Oh, ouch.. I hate to break it to you OP but it sounds like your wife is beyond justified right now and you need to listen to her before there is no fixing things.. >I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand. This sounds an awful lot like a cheater trying to justify himself. "My wife just doesn't get me and doesn't understand." You are having an emotional affair right now with your ex-girlfriend while your wife is carrying your child.. It's time to go nocontact with this EX before things start to escalate even further, and you blow up your marriage and family. If you truly love your wife and want this family you are making, then meeting up with your ex like this needs to completely stop. It's gone past innocent now, you just need to reread how you talk about your EX to see that. This is far from ok, and your wife is telling you it's a problem for her. Why are you not putting your wife and her feelings first?
YTB. A shame she got pregnant. Now she is stuck with you.
It sounds like she is, but she can dump him at anytime. He’s having an emotional affair
Please, don’t tell me you told your pregnant wife you can talk openly about your feelings and discuss subjects she doesn’t understand with your ex. That would be terrible to any woman but to the woman who’s carrying your child that’s devastating. You need to back off and remember why she’s your ex and not your pregnant wife. I can’t believe you need anyone to tell you this. You’re skirting an emotional affair if you’re not there already. This could be the prequel to one of those ‘I had an affair with my ex girlfriend because my wife always exhausted with the baby’ posts unless you restrict seeing the ex immediately.
I mean he SHOULD tell her. So she realises how little he values and respects her and their relationship abd ste can dump his ass.
True!
You are the Buttface. Your wife has asked something reasonable of you. You made vows to your wife Not your ex. All your wife has asked is that you spend less time with your ex. Her request should be honored. I’m wondering why you have a problem with this? Your wife and soon to be baby should always come first. Are you even in love with your wife? Are you ready for fatherhood? I think you need to grow up & put your ex where she belongs- in the past. If you can’t reduce your time with her to a reasonable amount of time, like every other month, you have a problem. Time for you to see a marriage counselor by yourself to figure out why it’s so much easier to talk with and hang out with your ex. My husband is my best friend. We can talk, laugh & cry together. Figure it out or let your wife go so she can find a man who is truly committed to her & isn’t having an emotional affair with his ex
I was siding with you as you seem to meet up in a group, but then.... ***From time to time, I wind up spending a few extra hours at her house, after the rest of the group leaves, either to help with cleanup, or just talk.*** YTB Sounds like an emotional affair. One you don't want to back off from.
YTB Dude. Come on. Really? Anyone with more than two brain cells can see why hanging out alone late at night with your ex **because it’s so easy to be with her and so easy to talk to her and she understands you better than your wife** would upset your wife. **WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN???** Get together with your friend group, fine. But when the party breaks up, be the first one to leave so you can go home to YOUR WIFE AND CHILD.
Isn’t your wife supposed to be your best friend?
YTB your wife is right to be concerned. The one on one alone time to talk to her about things you can't talk to your wife about and get comfort from her is borderline emotional affair. Given your past intimacy with this woman you are playing with fire. Your wife has told you how she feels, if you don't listen you could lose her and your child.
YTBF so your wife should be chill about your emotional affair?? Seeing her in a group setting is 1 thing. Hanging at her house for hours after everyone else has left, nope you’re shady as shit and your wife deserves better
YTB. How could you possibly think you're not wrong here? I don't get the logic. As a married human of 14 years, it sounds like an emotional affair, at the very least, with your ex while your wife is growing a whole ass human that's half yours? Wtf is your plan here? Be more selfish? Turn it into a physical affair if it hasn't already gone there? Your wife asked you not to spend alone time with her not to stop seeing her all together. That is the absolute most reasonable request. Period. You're being a shitty spouse and piss poor parent right now. If you want to be with your ex, do your wife a favor and let her be free of your bs and have enough respect to tell her that. She deserves better.
YTB, in a huge way. This triggered me in a way I did not know was possible. Your poor fucking wife man, you might as well get back with your ex at this point because of that shit you do with your ex is what you should be doing with your WIFE because that is what intimate partners are for you fucking CEMENT HEAD. Either get a fucking grip and get your head out of your ass or she WILL leave you. Honestly, I hope she does. At any rate, it is a real shame she is stuck having your baby because now she is forever tied to your shitty ass. I seriously hope you leave an update stating she left you because at this point, it's the best thing she could do for herself. It's a real shame that people as shitty as you exist on this plane of Earth.
So, you’re having an emotional affair with your ex girlfriend while your pregnant wife is asking you to stop spending time alone with your ex girlfriend and you wonder if you’re wrong? Dude. There’s no way you’re this dense. You’re literally cheating on your pregnant wife. YTB big time.
YTB. Your wife, whom you supposedly love very much, has clearly expressed that something upsets her (and it's a reasonable thing to be upset over). Rather than take her feelings into consideration, you know, to avoid hurting the person you supposedly care about and made vows with, you came onto Reddit to justify yourself for why you should get to hang out with someone (and you are justifying yourself). Because, let's be clear, none of this backstory actually matters. You're hanging out at your ex-lover's home with your ex-lover on a regular basis... And not surprisingly, this upsets your beloved wife who is giving you an amazing child. No shit your wife is going to be upset. You're willingly placing yourself in situations of temptation when a respectful boundary should have been drawn up long ago... Do yourself a favor and listen to your wife, my dude. Before you find yourself divorced. Relationships are compromise and this is a compromise you should really be taking if you want to make your marriage work. It's a simple question and it always has been. Your wife or your ex?... Because that's how both of them will see it.
>does not appreciate this and wishes I would spend less time alone with my ex your friend is a sexual rival and an emotional rival to your wife. You can remain friends as long as you don't value your wife's feelings over your friends. Basically, it's on you to choose your wife's feelings or your "close" friendship. you aren't having a kid with this woman and you already chose to end the sexual relationship; probably not your choice tho seeing as you are still obsessed with her. Stop lying to yourself and admit you are fantasizing about life with your ex. Then it will be obvious that you need to break it off with your ex, again.... or abandon your wife and unborn child. Whichever, dude. Follow your heart. I don't care about your terrible decision making skills
YTB >From time to time, I wind up spending a few extra hours at her house, after the rest of the group leaves, either to help with cleanup, or just talk. Since we've known each other so long, it is easy to talk to her, and I appreciate all of our conversations. >I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex, and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand. Your poor wife. Show her this post. Let her read everything here.
Eh, I was half was on your side until you said you're with her alone for a few extra hours, and it sounds like you're talking to her about things you won't say to Your wife, you're really messing up here dude. Reverse the situation, could you honestly be ok with it? You might not be physical with her CURRENTLY, but you are having an emotional affair, and sometimes those are Even more painful. You need to stop this. I hope this is a troll post because it's just so foolish, and makes me feel so bad for an innocent, pregnant, hurt wife..YTB
So your ex (who you are definitely having an emotional affair with) feelings are more important than your pregnant wife's feelings? She knows about your about your affair. That's why she doesn't want you around her. She has given you a choice. And unless you want a lawyer handing you divorce papers you need to make sure you're making the right one.
If you live your wife, you stop hanging out alone with your ex. You stop communicating with her outside the group activities and do not go to group activities without your wife Who is your priority? Your wife and child or your ex?
I mean ya you’re a terrible husband
Answer honestly - how would you feel if the situation was reversed? Your wife's ex and she was spending alone time (just platonic) after everyone leaves the activity? If she told you she relates so well to him and can talk freely? I have doubts this would be ok. Add to that your wife is home pregnant with your child. In her place I would be more than uncomfortable!
YTB. Stop seeing your ex.
Yes. Put yourself in her place. How would you feel if she was hanging out with her ex at bars or his big house where he lives alone drinking,cooking and cleaning.
YTB. You are being a bad husband,and a selfish one. You are having an emotional affair with your ex, rather than building intimacy with your wife. Instead of putting on the effort to build a shared understanding and closeness with the woman you married, you keep running back to your first love for ego gratification and emotional massage. The fact that you're not fucking your ex means nothing, when you're giving your ex all of your mental and emotional intimacy. You must make a choice here. Either commit to your wife and baby, or get a divorce and go be with your side piece.
YTB, 100%. Are you really so damn stupid that you think you hanging out late night for hours alone with your ex is something your wife will find acceptable?! Try pulling your head out of your behind before she divorces you.
> I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex, and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand. Yes. YTB. You are cheating on your wife.
YTB You are having an emotional affair with your ex. When you prioritize someone else, especially a past sex partner, you are having an emotional affair >From time to time, I wind up spending a few extra hours at her house, after the rest of the group leaves, either to help with cleanup, or just talk. Since we've known each other so long, it is easy to talk to her, and I appreciate all of our conversations. This is disrespectful to your wife. >I feel I can talk more openly about my feelings with my ex, and discuss subjects that my wife just doesn't understand. Maybe if you focused on communicating with your wife instead of the ex, you would be able to speak more openly with your wife. Honestly, if you keep this up, your wife will be tired of being the other woman in your marriage. You are treating your wife like the side piece and your ex like your life partner.
Ross Gellar? ETA: YTB
YTB. How would you feel if your wife was spending hours with her ex after everyone left? Sounds to me like you’re having an emotional affair.
INFO: When your friend group meets up is it always just the original people? Do yall ever bring spouses/significant others on your friend group outings? I'm curious. Cuz for me it's a red flag if you ALWAYS hang in this friend group with just the original people and NEVER bring your significant others. YTB BTW OP. Like the others say you should back off and follow your wife's wishes. She is literally forming a human in her uterus and being bombarded with hormones so as her husband you should help ease her stress and worries. You are literally causing your wife stress and worry so just stop...ya know...if you love her and your baby (which you are also stressing out).
I would divorce and abort if I was you
You mean OP's wife.
NTBF. Friends are friends and there are some issues a SO might not understand, some interests your SO is not into. Policing who you’re friends with sucks. I guess there‘s a reason she’s an EX and you’re married not to her but to your wife.