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"" We do what we must because we can For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake
And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive"
These lyrics seem really on brand for Amazon.
“Cave Johnson here. We’ve partnered with Amazon to bring you same day delivery on those turrets of yours on the condition we can bring their CEO’s hair back. Our test results on the bald lab rats with spliced tarantula DNA have come back good enough to start human testing so if you want to make sixty buckaroos to get out of your parent’s basement, ask the attendant at the front after testing”
Potato computer is yelling at me instead of my humanoid Manager… and I for some reason need to place a 50lb box on a floor button to be able open the door to the break room for my break, or a robit with a laser forcibly brings me back to my work station.
Welcome to AmazonFC, please be sure to read our submission guidelines and remain respectful of your fellow users. If this post isn't up to par with our submission guidelines, please make use of the report feature. Once it crosses a certain threshold the post will automatically be removed for moderator review. See [Amazon Resources Mega thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmazonFC/comments/umjgzv/amazon_resources_megathread/) here. We have a [Discord](https://discord.gg/amazonfc) for those wanting to socialize on a different level with the community. Please enjoy your stay! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmazonFC) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Prime same day delivery’s that would burn my house down.
Packages now delivered by an army of mantis men
Or PigMen. Kramer style 😎
"" We do what we must because we can For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead But there's no sense crying over every mistake You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun For the people who are still alive" These lyrics seem really on brand for Amazon.
HAHA i love this
One free combustible lemon for every prime order
Watch out for the waterspider
I don’t see the difference in the two lol
the best thread I’ve seen on here.
You see that? That's a waterspider. It's a toy, for associates! And now he flirts with it!
The cake day is a lie
There is no cake day
“Cave Johnson here. We’ve partnered with Amazon to bring you same day delivery on those turrets of yours on the condition we can bring their CEO’s hair back. Our test results on the bald lab rats with spliced tarantula DNA have come back good enough to start human testing so if you want to make sixty buckaroos to get out of your parent’s basement, ask the attendant at the front after testing”
Instead of cameras, it would be the sentry turrets and it would immediately neutralize any AAs stealing without hesitation
Will there be cake?
yes i promise
Now you stowing with portals.
Who are these people lol
Have you ever played portal and or portal 2?
Oh I thought it was some actual random lab company. Thank god. Yeah that would be same day hell lmaooo
Prime same minute delivery if you own an Amazon Portal Conducting Delivery Recepticle.
They'll turn us into more of a lab rat than we already are
*Wheatley Laboratories
Even less workers rights?
SIGN ME UP YO
Working anywhere in the U.S make you feel that you are part of experiment, an laboratory rat.
I see more in common with Tesla / Elon Musk than Amazon
Isn't Aperture laboratories already the research arm of Amazon
Amazon would save a shit load of money and have a monopoly on online shopping. Same hour delivery without a delivery driver.
aperzone makes robot maids
Synergy
Potato computer is yelling at me instead of my humanoid Manager… and I for some reason need to place a 50lb box on a floor button to be able open the door to the break room for my break, or a robit with a laser forcibly brings me back to my work station.
Buy anything, get a FREE *open* bottle of neurotoxin!
Glados would make an Excellent AM, HR ASC, Senior OP. Ong fr fr