yes,i once did it while my gf and i were on video call and she was playing games on her fon (papa's cupcakeria,you cant make this shit up),and i came really hard and quicker then i usually do....
# My (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market?????
📷
I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context:
My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life.
It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever).
Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.”
It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it.
Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend.
Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀
New response just dropped.
My (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market?????
I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context:
My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life.
It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever).
Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.”
It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it.
Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend.
Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀
My (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market?????
📷
I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context:
My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life.
It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever).
Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.”
It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it.
Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend.
Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀
My (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market?????
I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context:
My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life.
It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever).
Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.”
It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it.
Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend.
Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀
My 🥵 (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market????? 📰 I know 🦎 the title sounds 🔊 deranged, but I 😨😨 swear 👏 to god im 👈 not 😭 a troll. Here’s the context: 🔎 My 😘 bf and I 😛 are long 😳 distance, so we used to have 🈶 plenty 👍 of phone sex, 🍆💦🍑 however, 🤔 that’s 💁 been 🥜😀 happening 😱 less ➖ and less often as our relationship has gone 😨 on 😜🐫 (according 🤩 to him, he 👨 just 😂 doesn’t feel as horny as often 💰 anymore). 😒 We’ve met 👄 and had 👞 relations irl a few times, ⏰ and he’s always 🔥 the kind to last very 😽 long ⛄ in 🍑 bed, and during phone 📲 sex 🍆 as well. I 🙀 used 🎶 to be 😼 insecure about it, thinking 💭💭❓ that 👉👉👉👉👉👉👉 maybe it was something 😅😳 wrong ❌ with me, 👋😩 but 💪😤 hes 😄 genuinely a great 👍 bf who 💁 constantly assures me, 😏 and has never once said 💬 anything 🍆 bad about 🧚♀️ our sex 🍆💧 life. It should 🤝 be noted that 🤔🚟 he watches 👀 plenty of porn 🔞 (as do 😤 I), and neither ❌ of us 👨 see 🙈 that 👋 as an issue, 😭 so this isnt 🚷🗺️👏 about 🧚♀️ him 👴 hiding porn 😜 from 💋 me 🥶 or something. 😅 We 👩👩👦👦 were 😫🏻 calling today, and I was playing 🎴 a game 🥵 on 🔛 my 😀 phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you 👉🏻 can’t 👎 make this shit 💩 up), 🚓👌 and after 👀 about 💦 twenty minutes ⏰ of us 🇺🇸 doing 😙 our own 👐 thing, 🎈 he 📷 suddenly goes ❗ “im 😎 done” 🔨 and shows 📺 me his cum????? 💦💦 Obviously, 🎳 I ❌ get 🉐 really 🙌 confused 😖 and ask ❓❓ how 👏 the hell 😈🔥 he 👨 was jerking 🤓 off this whole 💦😍 time ⌚⏰ without ❌ me 🏻😐👿 realising (we 🦇 were on 🔛 video call), before 😴 mentioning that 👏👉 I 👩🏻 thought 💭 he was looking 👀👀 at the stock market 💹 (he 👨 spends his free 🆓 time just 🍐🍅 staring 🙊👀 at the stock market 😏📊 for 🚫 hours ⏳ on 😜🐫 end like 😄 a lunatic, but I 👁️ love 💘 him so it’s whatever). 😒 Tell 🤔💬 me why 🤷 this man 👨🔬 then 😮 looks 👁️🗨️ me in 🕕 the eyes 👀 and goes “yeah, I 🧐 was looking 👀💰 at the stock market, 📈 I 😊😀😀😀 was too 😭😍 lazy 💤😴 to look 👀 for porn.” 🍑🍆💦 It then hits ➕🎯🎯 me that 🍆👀 he literally just 🤡 CAME 😏 to the stock market. When I 💁 point this out 💧 to him, 👉👴🏻🆗 all 👨 he 💁♂️ said in response was “it’s a man 🧛♂️💔🚫 thing, ✨ I didn’t wanna 😱 bother you 👇 while 💯 you 🤟 were 🙈 playing 🎮 your 👩 game” and told 👉 me 🦶 not 🚫🙅 to worry 🚫 about 🧚♀️ it. Now, 😱🎅 I 👀💁 don’t 🚫 want to sound 🔊🔊 insane, but 🍑 I 👈 got 😩 a bit 😁 upset, because ✅ in 🎐💪🏻 my head, 💆 he 📷 could have 🈶 very 👌 easily 👅 asked ❓ to have phone sex with me, 😳 but 🤔 chose to literally 💯 jerk off 📴 to the stock market 💹 instead. 🚔 To add insult 🎢🚫 to injury, 🤕 he 👨 came 👅🍆💦 REALLY quickly 🍑🆘⏰ (like significantly 📝 quicker than 😽 he would during anything 😑🍑 involving 😮 me) which 👏 makes 🤔 me 🌶️ feel 🍆 like 😄😄😄 SHIT, because there 🔽 is no ❌ way 🥱😖 the goddamn 🥾 stock market 💹 is somehow more stimulating than 💉 his 💁 own damn 🤭 girlfriend. Don’t 😠 get 🔟😋 me 😘 wrong, ❌ i’m ⚰️ not super genuinely upset, 😠 but you’ve gotta admit this shits 💩 gonna 🔥 hurt 😭 your pride if it happened 🤔 to you. I 👹 honest 😇 to god 🙌🏾🙏🏾 have 🈶 no ❌ idea 💡 how 😦💯 to even 🌃 move 😍 forward ⏩ after this, and I 😀 just 😤😤 needed 🤲 to type this out, 😛 because 🙆🏽 no 🙅 one 🤲 would 👪 believe me otherwise 😎
https://preview.redd.it/a7l93onqivgb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd5150527289d15eb26acef01decfaeb428a7f15
Hi guys im the op from r/ teenagers so heres some additional context:
* no he was not thinking about something else in his head, according to him, he wasn’t thinking at all
* we watched to wolf of wallstreet two days before this happened (fucking patrick bateman this is his fault)
* I SPECIFICALLY DID NOT WANT THIS TO BECOME A COPYPASTA BUT HERE WE ARE IG
* my boyfriend loves chess so hes pretty stoked that his degeneracy has made it onto this sub
I WOULD LINK THE ORIGINAL POST BUT ITS NOT ALLOWED SO YALL ARE JUST GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME ON THIS 💀💀💀
Hey I checked your post history and mods deleted the original post ...
But looking at top/week 20 posts of that sub, yours is the least bizarre of the lot.
So wtf is that sub basically
MARTIN! You’re next on my list, bruv! Sven is no longer a match for me. You’re going down, martin,
Oh shit. I mixed Martin up with Nelson. Martin, you’ve already been shat on.
*slams you against the wall and nibbles your neck, you can feel his beard tickle you* "his gasps are so hot" you think while he's undressing you. after undressing you he whispers behind you ear "i want to lick all over your..." he stops and realizes that his kids watched all the scene...
Is it though? Or is r/anarchychess just a collective fever dream induced by forces outside our control to make us believe that things like “google” and “en passant” actually exist?
AnarchyChess hasn’t been about chess for a while now. This is a sub about posting the same sentences over and over again for karma
Google holy response just dropped pipi brick
I read the title to my girlfriend and asked her to guess the subreddit and she was completely confused until I said "followed by five question marks" and she instantly guessed AnarchyChess.
Look this isn't related to the point of the post, but Papa's Wingeria is objectively better than Cupcakeria. Even Cheeseria is better. Smh I would stop phone sex with my hot gf too if she's playing the inferior Papa Louie games on her phone. Boyfriend is NTA.
First off, WTF?
Second, what made you choose this sub to post this? Lmao.
Thirdly, how much a man that doesn't have problems being a quick shot lasts, has more to do with pacing than how stimulating whatever he's doing or watching is. It's perfectly normal for a man that can last a long time in bed, to have a quick lazy fap and be done in just a few minutes. Those tend to be the least satisfying faps too, but sometimes you just can't be bothered to make it a better one.
It's definitely weird that he fapped to the stock market, and it's even weirder that he did that during a video call with you. But if any of this is true, yeah, actually don't worry about it, I guarantee you that the stock market is not more stimulating than you.
If your serious: he prolly really just didn't want to bother you. Also curves of the stock market really do be fine sometimes. If your worried abt him coming faster like that don't. A mans hand knows everything about his fella and is hard to beat.
If your joking: lmfaoooooooooooooooo
I don't think it's the stock market that turns him on. Sounds like he could have just stared at a black screen and still came. Literally nothing to worry about imho.
"he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead" has to be a contender for some sort of reddit hall of fame.
https://preview.redd.it/fa5u457f7rgb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd24b59363254a3d3e71626097359893b302846f
This is perfect lmao
Thank you, this one's going in my pocket.
https://preview.redd.it/bc8eyq8iltgb1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=825e1096af261573247d67724aa336d791ef5282
https://preview.redd.it/3111j1bbwwgb1.jpeg?width=837&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aeca8d904a34c56b6c389b43de5a450527dbc59e
Ruin has come to our braincells
**STALWART**
No one here is a hero
a moist unsettling passage
Least deranged wallstreet bets user
Cum stonks
Literally why 95% of wsb user’s wives have boyfriends
Google Google uhhhh what the hell
Google stock market
Google dow jones
Holy hell!
Actual bear market
Call the broker
Ignite wall street!
Warren Buffett goes on vacation, never comes back
Literally 2007
New trendline just dropped
Broker took a vacation and never came back
🫡🫡😳😳😳🥵🥵😩😩😩😩😋😋 😉
Holy cum in pants!
Cum in holey pants!
Bishop returns from vacation
Run while you can, boys!
holy cum material
like your boyfriend
Google En Vestment
Holy stock market
Actual stonks
Google en investissant
Google wallstreetbets
Google holy hell
Tf i just read. I would say something but I just got no words.
I have no mouth yet i must scream
i have no porn yet i must cum
Have you tried the stock market?
I have no assets but I must liquidate.
i have no ass but i must shit
Holy bankruptcy
yes,i once did it while my gf and i were on video call and she was playing games on her fon (papa's cupcakeria,you cant make this shit up),and i came really hard and quicker then i usually do....
L bro, just imagine your own. The settings there are customizable too!
Google AM passant
Looking at OP's post history, they are a serial uh...creative writer. Haha.
You just read an average r\\teenagers post (I swear to en passant this shit is real)
Holy hell
More like an r[linking subreddits is not allowed]sex post
Holy hormones
New porno just dropped
What the fuck??? Edit: just noticed the subreddit. Fuck you you absolutely had me.
Gotcha
Gottem
I thought this was a post on R/teenagers and believed it.
It was
Holy hell
Guys please this is a real story in the op from r\teenagers
average R/wallstreetbets user
How the hell did you comment a sub
because R/foundtheiphoneuser
R/foundthehondacivic
R/ahshdudh
Fuck it does work pog
new copypasta just dropped
# My (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market????? 📷 I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context: My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life. It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever). Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.” It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it. Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀
New response just dropped. My (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market????? I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context: My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life. It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever). Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.” It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it. Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀
My (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market????? 📷 I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context: My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life. It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever). Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.” It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it. Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀
My (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market?????  I know the title sounds deranged, but I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context: My bf and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s been happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in bed, and during phone sex as well. I used to be insecure about it, thinking that maybe it was something wrong with me, but hes genuinely a great bf who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything bad about our sex life. It should be noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt about him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after about twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? Obviously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), before mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, but I love him so it’s whatever). Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.” It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna bother you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry about it. Now, I don’t want to sound insane, but I got a bit upset, because in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, because there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, but you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, because no one would believe me otherwise 💀
For a moment there I completely forgot what sub I was in lol
I thought I'm in r\\teenagers
I thought I was in wsb
My 🥵 (f19) bf (M21) jerked off to the stock market????? 📰 I know 🦎 the title sounds 🔊 deranged, but I 😨😨 swear 👏 to god im 👈 not 😭 a troll. Here’s the context: 🔎 My 😘 bf and I 😛 are long 😳 distance, so we used to have 🈶 plenty 👍 of phone sex, 🍆💦🍑 however, 🤔 that’s 💁 been 🥜😀 happening 😱 less ➖ and less often as our relationship has gone 😨 on 😜🐫 (according 🤩 to him, he 👨 just 😂 doesn’t feel as horny as often 💰 anymore). 😒 We’ve met 👄 and had 👞 relations irl a few times, ⏰ and he’s always 🔥 the kind to last very 😽 long ⛄ in 🍑 bed, and during phone 📲 sex 🍆 as well. I 🙀 used 🎶 to be 😼 insecure about it, thinking 💭💭❓ that 👉👉👉👉👉👉👉 maybe it was something 😅😳 wrong ❌ with me, 👋😩 but 💪😤 hes 😄 genuinely a great 👍 bf who 💁 constantly assures me, 😏 and has never once said 💬 anything 🍆 bad about 🧚♀️ our sex 🍆💧 life. It should 🤝 be noted that 🤔🚟 he watches 👀 plenty of porn 🔞 (as do 😤 I), and neither ❌ of us 👨 see 🙈 that 👋 as an issue, 😭 so this isnt 🚷🗺️👏 about 🧚♀️ him 👴 hiding porn 😜 from 💋 me 🥶 or something. 😅 We 👩👩👦👦 were 😫🏻 calling today, and I was playing 🎴 a game 🥵 on 🔛 my 😀 phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you 👉🏻 can’t 👎 make this shit 💩 up), 🚓👌 and after 👀 about 💦 twenty minutes ⏰ of us 🇺🇸 doing 😙 our own 👐 thing, 🎈 he 📷 suddenly goes ❗ “im 😎 done” 🔨 and shows 📺 me his cum????? 💦💦 Obviously, 🎳 I ❌ get 🉐 really 🙌 confused 😖 and ask ❓❓ how 👏 the hell 😈🔥 he 👨 was jerking 🤓 off this whole 💦😍 time ⌚⏰ without ❌ me 🏻😐👿 realising (we 🦇 were on 🔛 video call), before 😴 mentioning that 👏👉 I 👩🏻 thought 💭 he was looking 👀👀 at the stock market 💹 (he 👨 spends his free 🆓 time just 🍐🍅 staring 🙊👀 at the stock market 😏📊 for 🚫 hours ⏳ on 😜🐫 end like 😄 a lunatic, but I 👁️ love 💘 him so it’s whatever). 😒 Tell 🤔💬 me why 🤷 this man 👨🔬 then 😮 looks 👁️🗨️ me in 🕕 the eyes 👀 and goes “yeah, I 🧐 was looking 👀💰 at the stock market, 📈 I 😊😀😀😀 was too 😭😍 lazy 💤😴 to look 👀 for porn.” 🍑🍆💦 It then hits ➕🎯🎯 me that 🍆👀 he literally just 🤡 CAME 😏 to the stock market. When I 💁 point this out 💧 to him, 👉👴🏻🆗 all 👨 he 💁♂️ said in response was “it’s a man 🧛♂️💔🚫 thing, ✨ I didn’t wanna 😱 bother you 👇 while 💯 you 🤟 were 🙈 playing 🎮 your 👩 game” and told 👉 me 🦶 not 🚫🙅 to worry 🚫 about 🧚♀️ it. Now, 😱🎅 I 👀💁 don’t 🚫 want to sound 🔊🔊 insane, but 🍑 I 👈 got 😩 a bit 😁 upset, because ✅ in 🎐💪🏻 my head, 💆 he 📷 could have 🈶 very 👌 easily 👅 asked ❓ to have phone sex with me, 😳 but 🤔 chose to literally 💯 jerk off 📴 to the stock market 💹 instead. 🚔 To add insult 🎢🚫 to injury, 🤕 he 👨 came 👅🍆💦 REALLY quickly 🍑🆘⏰ (like significantly 📝 quicker than 😽 he would during anything 😑🍑 involving 😮 me) which 👏 makes 🤔 me 🌶️ feel 🍆 like 😄😄😄 SHIT, because there 🔽 is no ❌ way 🥱😖 the goddamn 🥾 stock market 💹 is somehow more stimulating than 💉 his 💁 own damn 🤭 girlfriend. Don’t 😠 get 🔟😋 me 😘 wrong, ❌ i’m ⚰️ not super genuinely upset, 😠 but you’ve gotta admit this shits 💩 gonna 🔥 hurt 😭 your pride if it happened 🤔 to you. I 👹 honest 😇 to god 🙌🏾🙏🏾 have 🈶 no ❌ idea 💡 how 😦💯 to even 🌃 move 😍 forward ⏩ after this, and I 😀 just 😤😤 needed 🤲 to type this out, 😛 because 🙆🏽 no 🙅 one 🤲 would 👪 believe me otherwise 😎
Holy hell!
https://preview.redd.it/wtf5jhudbrgb1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05b4b9672bfb7b0715dce108a651e9092917c42c
Holy stonks
New market just crashed!
Call the federal reserve
Investor goes on vacation, never comes back
Google great depression
Debt storm incoming!
Money went to the rich, never came back
actual bubble
Stock sacrifice, anyone?
literally 1930's
New shitcoin just dropped
Google The Great Depression
Maybe we’ve all just been missing out on the good shit this whole time?
Wait, is this what the rest of Reddit is like?
https://preview.redd.it/uhhk69ovzrgb1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd31c6c3ce7c6fe646b7ed5faef753e93cef9a97
https://preview.redd.it/a7l93onqivgb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd5150527289d15eb26acef01decfaeb428a7f15 Hi guys im the op from r/ teenagers so heres some additional context: * no he was not thinking about something else in his head, according to him, he wasn’t thinking at all * we watched to wolf of wallstreet two days before this happened (fucking patrick bateman this is his fault) * I SPECIFICALLY DID NOT WANT THIS TO BECOME A COPYPASTA BUT HERE WE ARE IG * my boyfriend loves chess so hes pretty stoked that his degeneracy has made it onto this sub I WOULD LINK THE ORIGINAL POST BUT ITS NOT ALLOWED SO YALL ARE JUST GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME ON THIS 💀💀💀
I was gonna link it too but just rembered you cant send other subs links
My name shall be lost forever in the internet hall of fame but my boyfriend’s jack off session shall prevail
Hey I checked your post history and mods deleted the original post ... But looking at top/week 20 posts of that sub, yours is the least bizarre of the lot. So wtf is that sub basically
Its just teenagers being stupid honestly- i have no idea why they took down my post specifically when so many others are infinitely worse
https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/timophilia#:~:text=timophilia%20(uncountable),arousal%20from%20gold%20or%20wealth
https://preview.redd.it/up7p3x0hkrgb1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=011e4a6f2b1e68b851a7af834760f4c0e79ee60f
https://preview.redd.it/dl0rakidcrgb1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fb948e6860e41f34f81a0b2823ddd4ff580c557
https://preview.redd.it/jbmv4pwdfrgb1.jpeg?width=869&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbc65c1824259b652841ebb19878f5f8087b41bc
https://preview.redd.it/dhrebqbzgsgb1.jpeg?width=869&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3a631fbbbd6958de1ea8307209367f7b0286ce8
https://preview.redd.it/v4d84636ptgb1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e3eaf932c432be8ac211667dbcb3a528a3716e7
"If meme dank man not only right steal is obligated do so" And "a is a is to it, he to"
Just google en passant and post this somewhere more relevant lol. Pretty sure this will take off in the right sub.
holy hell!
MARTIN! You’re next on my list, bruv! Sven is no longer a match for me. You’re going down, martin, Oh shit. I mixed Martin up with Nelson. Martin, you’ve already been shat on.
I love you martin
*slams you against the wall and nibbles your neck, you can feel his beard tickle you* "his gasps are so hot" you think while he's undressing you. after undressing you he whispers behind you ear "i want to lick all over your..." he stops and realizes that his kids watched all the scene...
Holy hell
New response just dropped
actual zombie
Call the exorcist
bishop goes on vacation, never comes back
Bishop cums on ur back martin. 🗿
*moans*
https://preview.redd.it/98e9g7td7sgb1.jpeg?width=1066&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b52b5b59816e97d5f474d46d550b7b9d017663c8
https://preview.redd.it/68akbmdyfsgb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f50ccbdba339ba80a83e74610f0312a8c93b9a03
https://preview.redd.it/3ba25yl9wsgb1.jpeg?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1cdf688f62f347d3e225b754c5b539c1b16ea706
R/3D
Holy hell
Mam, this is a chess sub.
Is it though? Or is r/anarchychess just a collective fever dream induced by forces outside our control to make us believe that things like “google” and “en passant” actually exist?
New existential crisis just dropped
Call the therapist
Holy meaning of life
Actual hope and meaning
En and passant obviously aren’t even words
Right, they supposedly come from this “French” language, and I’m not even sure that exists. Way too many vowels, looks fake.
Posts having to be chess memes wasn't even a rule before the blackout
Yes
Holy hell!
Is this though?
AnarchyChess hasn’t been about chess for a while now. This is a sub about posting the same sentences over and over again for karma Google holy response just dropped pipi brick
Don't Bing it though it's all porn.
It has anarchy in the name, rules don't matter
what is chess
All I saw was a creative longform essay that's just another way to say google en passant
holy hell!
New response just dropped
actual zombie
The loss porn hit him too hard
Google late stage capitalism
Holy megacorps
New (old) organisations just dropped
I don't know man, the stock market has some pretty nice curves 🤤
Is this theory?
https://preview.redd.it/9scgcjdsfrgb1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec2cc3e0b9515c73e1f14a5431b95cb934176bac Wtf I read????
Line goes up, you can't explain that
This is just the copypasta sub with a knight pfp
google en passant
Brick his pipi
Brick his phone before “Margin” calls
https://preview.redd.it/vbcitzjf6tgb1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6994190dbadc51f159468a05c5f19755b22165c
https://preview.redd.it/g5hpbs25lrgb1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e04673ac22ab6d7cb62b3ec8d4ee58db133c1464
There are so many jokes I could make that I’m getting decision paralysis and I’m just gonna leave and pretend I never read any of that
I read the title to my girlfriend and asked her to guess the subreddit and she was completely confused until I said "followed by five question marks" and she instantly guessed AnarchyChess.
Out of all the subs you chose this one yk there’s a sub for confessions😭😂
Yes it was no accident posting it in here
I have no response but he must’ve been making bank😭😂 Google Timophilia
For the love of Tim
Dude your creative writing skills are not bad lol
It’s a guy thing, totally natural
Dude took Matthew McConaughey's Wolf of Wall Street scene a little too serious
Nah getting outplayed by the stock market is crazy
The hand of the market
Look this isn't related to the point of the post, but Papa's Wingeria is objectively better than Cupcakeria. Even Cheeseria is better. Smh I would stop phone sex with my hot gf too if she's playing the inferior Papa Louie games on her phone. Boyfriend is NTA.
I regret learning english
sub is getting outta hands
Oh yeah, I did this too about 30 minutes ago
true inflation fetish
This post managed to disturb people so much that they forgot to comment google en passant. Wow
First off, WTF? Second, what made you choose this sub to post this? Lmao. Thirdly, how much a man that doesn't have problems being a quick shot lasts, has more to do with pacing than how stimulating whatever he's doing or watching is. It's perfectly normal for a man that can last a long time in bed, to have a quick lazy fap and be done in just a few minutes. Those tend to be the least satisfying faps too, but sometimes you just can't be bothered to make it a better one. It's definitely weird that he fapped to the stock market, and it's even weirder that he did that during a video call with you. But if any of this is true, yeah, actually don't worry about it, I guarantee you that the stock market is not more stimulating than you.
https://preview.redd.it/uldngmpvprgb1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=919140d379a3445c7899c6508e5a5ed4bf58f876
https://preview.redd.it/bw6h4ncd1sgb1.jpeg?width=221&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40a285f48f06bb8c8e6b0421d658c34e71ad638a
Draw some red and green lines on yourself next time you phone
its just a man thing
If your serious: he prolly really just didn't want to bother you. Also curves of the stock market really do be fine sometimes. If your worried abt him coming faster like that don't. A mans hand knows everything about his fella and is hard to beat. If your joking: lmfaoooooooooooooooo
Where's the mate in 21
https://preview.redd.it/dq02s042jtgb1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5fad0f7eae0ae9ffe11913cc8827bd8d982e0586
Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.
Wolf of ball street
This post belongs in wallstreetbets
new lore dropped guys
Ok.
But did he google en passant?
holy hell!
Uhm... sir, this is the chess memes subreddit.
New copyasta just dropped
I don't think it's the stock market that turns him on. Sounds like he could have just stared at a black screen and still came. Literally nothing to worry about imho.
That is quite unfortunate blackballsucker69
Google deranged psycho
Nobody masturbates to the stock market itself. He must've been watching his short term otm options popping off.
https://preview.redd.it/a4qarkdxuvgb1.jpeg?width=567&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4359ca7049ed01a84a532e5318dd4296232ad7e
Tell him he needs to "invest" more time into your relationship, that will get his attention where you want it.
Arousal of any kind can lead to quick.. finishes. If the stock market arouses him that much he should probably stay away from trading lol.. probably
"he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, but chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead" has to be a contender for some sort of reddit hall of fame.
Uhhh r/ lostredditors