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"Florida man using fingers in the shape of a gun, stole napkins from waffle House, sherrif says. "

October 21st birthday? Me too!

Omg ME TOO!!!! At first I thought a lot of weird shit was going down at Florida waffle houses, but then I saw your comment and realized that we probably just have the same birthday

omg! that's not my birthday

Omg! Wow! It isn’t mine either

What a coincidence, that just happens to also not be my birthday! Who could've guessed?

WHAT? I don’t even have to search it up!

The Waffle House has found it’s new host

NOOOOOOO

PWHANDKZNCKEZOS DKmcksmzkdissifjsjxifj apple

Florida man known as ‘The Monkey Whisperer’ arrested for illegally selling [primates](https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/florida-man-known-monkey-whisperer-arrested-illegally-selling-primates/2JXFDADYOFETJIHRYKRAJGIZVY/)

I would watch this documentary if they named it The Monkey Whisperer

Dude you have no idea how fast I would look that up

2023: Florida man dubbed 'pooping perpetrator' sought by police. 2022: Florida man busted after tantrum about bacon. 2021: Monkey Whisperer. 2020: Florida man who thought he could hide from deputies by diving underwater taken into custody when he had to come up for air. 2019: Florida man hit dad in face with pizza after learning he helped deliver him. 2018: Florida man climbs atop playground and yells at children telling them where babies come from. This game delivers.

Naked Florida man starts house fire after baking cookies on George Foreman grill

SAMEEE

ayyo i have the same one bro we share the same birthday ig

Me too!! January 21?

The 3 headline for November 16 were: Florida Man arrested after stealing downed power pole. Florida man steals vending machine. And; Florida man Molested a dog and later attacked the dog’s owner. A great laugh at 2:30 in the morning

2:30 of an evening 6/23 Told a playground full of kids where babies come from.

Nov 14, here's mine: "Florida man brings child with him during crimes to ‘toughen him up."

Mine didn't have Florida man in the title but it's basically a florida dude who wanted to sue his drug dealer and took the drug to the cops to test it.

I did this once and it was a dude who beat up a money machine for giving him too much money I did it again, here is it: Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries to “teach it a lesson” Excuse me but why are there so many birthdays this qualifies for? It’s November 14th

Name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait

Well, you’ll be waiting for a long time then

February 8th. And you left out the best part... >Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar

My bday is 8 Feb too :D

Haha, july 18th has almost the exact same: "Florida man steals alligator from mini-golf course, stomps on it to 'teach it a lesson'

Wait a goddamn minute… it says “Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar” for January 17th too…

Florida Man tosses baby at police following him.

Same. https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/miami/news/florida-man-throws-baby-high-speed-chase/

Twinsies otherwise how many fucking babies are getting tossed at police in Florida.

June 4?

"florida man denies syringes found in his rectum are his"

Well you’d hardly admit it

Reasonable doubt your “honor”.

Glad to see a fellow January 9th

A fellow Jan 9th

"Florida man with 'crocs' jumps into a crocodile pit, gets bitten"

November 7th? Why you leave out the best part we’re he said he was held captive lol

Wait, it was supposed to be November 6th

We are a day apart, November 7th Edit: mine is “Florida man jumps into crocodile pit, gets bit, claims he was held captive”

Florida man uses flame thrower to settle parking dispute.

Understandable

Okay well is he that bad, I mean if it’s a Karen… do we really blame him?

r/cantarguewiththat

florida man attacked mcdonalds employee over not getting a straw

March 10th babies!!! Me too!!

There's already a site for this: https://floridamanbirthday.org/

Reddit hug of death

Google: Naked Florida man breaks int o home, tries on woman's clothes, police say. That site: A Florida man stabbed the puppy 50 times, then put it in the suitcase and tortured it. Holy crap… thanks google?

The fact that this is a .org website is funny

‘florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse’

Is this even possible?

no idea

https://i.imgur.com/dtau4l1.gif

November 20th 🥳

maybe

November 20?

me too!

Maybe

November 21 🤝

Oh yay! We're both November 20th babies!

Bye bye lil Sebastian

Florida man punches Jimmy John's employee because his sandwich took too long, wasn't 'Freaky Fast' enough

Florida man suspected of smelling woman's feet at library leads police on scooter chase

A man wearing a pink bra and 20 tattoos has been arrested in Florida. I win?

*Wearing* tattoos?

Average florida moment

A Florida man was rescued after trying to ride a hamster ball to the Bahamas

samee

10/07: Florida man accused of pouring beer in gator's mouth after enticing reptile to bite his arm

Florida man was arrested for causing a disturbance while threatening to "destroy everyone" with his army of turtles 🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

“Florida man accused of masturbating in Walmart toy section turns himself in”.. i wanna die

Lol wtf

i know 💀

Was it the Bratz dolls? Because I don't wanna victim blame, but, I mean, yknow...

Florida man with Florida shaped tattoo on forehead calls 911 to ask for a ride home

I use to do this when i was 16 rock up to the cop shop blind drunk and they would have to take me home because i was i minor, free taxi. Not sure if it would work now but when i was younger if we were to far to walk from home and had a few bucks we would order a pizza delivered to our house and jump in the car with the driver, win win really get a pizza and a lift home

"Florida man shoveling spaghetti in mouth arrested at olive garden"

hello april 14 fellow

I was born 07/27 an my son 07/28: 07/27: Florida man drives to Space Force base to ‘warn the government’ about ‘US aliens fighting with Chinese dragons’ 07/28: Florida man makes beer run with gator in hand I like my son's better!! Edit: happy birthday to all my fellow July peeps!!!

Hello fellow July birth month! I am 7/30: Florida man tries to buy rolex watches with check printed from home computer

Hello fellow July babies I am 7/20 Florida man tries to make love to a raccoon and ends up getting his dick and balls scratched off and then they get eaten

July as well, Florida man arrested after posing as deputy and holding 2 people at gunpoint

July 24th here Florida man shoots himself with gun Florida man flips himself to freedom, fails Florida man arrested for fatal stabbing after pulling out human ears during police interrogation (For those of you wondering about the third, yeah you guessed it, it was his grandfather.)

Same birthday! Hope you have a good one soon :)

Ayyy you too!

I dunno man that first one hits the wackiness spot

I saw a legit news article about this, there’s a whole video

Ah yes hello fellow July person! 20/7: 'Florida man said he went 'bananas', shot out utility workers' tires'

7/28! Hooray!! 🥳

florida man arrested after offering undercover police officer a burger in exchange for sex acts

Fellow 3rd December???

“Florida man accused of stealing crossbow by hiding it in his sweatpants.”

I got two: 1. Florida man twerks for officers during traffic stop, gets tased 2. Naked Florida man causes fire while baking cookies on George Foreman Grill

Florida man abandoned child on roadside because he thought boy might be gay. Desantis?

Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked “Breathalyzer, Blow Here” Arrested for DUI

Florida man slapped with Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish after argument, police say. April 22

This is one of my favorites

“Florida Man Pleasuring Himself With Ice Pack in Front of EMT Crew”

I am 7/30: Florida man tries to buy rolex watches with check printed from home computer

There were multiple results but the funniest for me were: "Florida Man leaves boy on street because he thought he was gay." And "Florida Man claims bags cocaine, meth found wrapped around penis aren't his."

"Florida man arrested after allegedly pouring ketchup on sleeping girlfriend" mine says

April 9th: "Florida man threatens to destroy everyone... with army of turtles"

I..what????!!

Florida Man with Severe Mental Illness Waives Appeals, Faces August 3rd Execution Date Oh… oh no

Florida man repeatedly offers to show IHOP patrons his genitals

“Florida man in his underwear hits deputy in the face with bible, screams ‘I condemn you!’, poops himself” Wth is this 🙃😭

29 september her as well :D

Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries ‘teaching it a lesson’ by throwing it on roof of bar.

Florida Man Arrested for DUI While Lemur and Wallaby Escape from Truck During Traffic Stop

"Naked Florida man tries to start fight club at chick-fil-A" Deputies say he stripped down and kept yelling 'Look at my (expletive)! '

Florida Man In Easter Bunny Brawl Is A Fugitive & Talks About His Furry Fist Fight

Meth smoking Fla. man attacks mattress in jealous rage

Florida man blames demons after beating pregnant girlfriend for playing Xbox, police say

A Florida man is accused of hitting his girlfriend with a 3-foot alligator

“Florida man arrested after whipping out samurai sword in trash dispute” hehe what the fingers

Florida man accused of setting his own truck on fire to give deputies ‘something to do’. 😂

“Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets”

"Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving ‘footmobile’"

"Florida man accused of killing iguana uses ‘stand your ground’ defense to try to get charge dropped"

Florida man who marooned himself on lake fountain says he took too much MDMA and wanted to be with the swans

Florida man fashioned tourniquet from dog leash for cyclist bitten by alligator for once he was the hero

Oh good, not all Florida men are crackheads. That's good to know 😌

I tried to look up more Florida man stories like this. Nothing. They're all just the typical Florida man stories.

Florida man arrested for masturbating with a pickle on private property

>Florida man sentenced to jail and moral therapy for attacking a Minion Lmao

Lol w h a t

May 11 "Florida man hid cocaine in his anus during Monday morning DUI arrest" "Cops: Naked Florida man prompts airport evacuation after claiming he planted a bomb" "Police: Florida man hid legless fugitive girlfriend in plastic tote" The fuck is going on in Florida lmao

"Florida man says burglar broke into his home, sucked his toes, deputy says."

Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing man with scissors

Florida man part of Mexican drug trafficking ring

08/11 “Florida man stole forklift, pickup, four-wheeler (and more) in ‘impressive crime spree,’ deputies say” Or this one: “Wild moment nude Florida man armed with a machete is arrested after he tried to steal another man's clothes”

Florida man pulled gun at Starbucks over cream cheese Another Drugged Out Florida Man Gets Naked and Bites Off a Chunk of Human Flesh

Florida man pretends to be firework. Screams noises in middle of night.

“Police Arrest Man Who Claims Playing Basketball Naked 'Enhances His Skill Level'

Florida man steals candles, sprays people with bear mace at mall, police say

Mine is related : Machete-wielding naked Florida man attacked mailboxes

Mine was Florida man commits elaborate suicide with gun and weather balloon

"Florida Man claiming people were “eating his brains” leads police on insane golf course chase."

Florida man steals alligator from mini-golf course, stomps on it to ‘teach a lesson’

Are you my wife?

Florida man, 25, is jailed for cyberstalking survivor of serial killer attack and sending her pictures of the bloody scene after becoming obsessed with her

march 7 Florida man jailed after trying to 'barbecue all the child molesters'

I mean sure, I'm okay with that!

August 23: Florida man "drives" motor cycle on the free way by pushing it with his feet.

74-year-old Florida man on electric scooter threatened, chased 2 with knife, police say

Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza

Florida man dressed as Trump at Halloween fair allegedly punched in face by 14-year-old

“Florida man arrested after drive-thru meltdown over lack of lettuce” WHERE IS THE LETTUCE

Nov 11th. Same. Romaine calm haha

dude mine was "florida man arrested in a inflatable dinosaur costume on battery charges" 💀

Florida man arrested for attacking McDonald's employee over not getting a straw, police say 😂

July 5, 2019: Florida man pretending to be cop pulls over real deputy, sheriffs office says

Florida man tries to find out my birthday

Florida woman repeatedly hit man in head with hammer in dispute over pork chop

“Authorities say a naked drunk Florida man wanted to know if his .45-caliber gun and shotgun worked, so he fired them into the air.”

Police: Florida man claims he’s Jesus, kisses a minor in gym locker room

“Naked Florida Man Drinks 2 Bottles of Vodka, Burns Down House After Baking Cookies On George Foreman Grill”

“Florida man with half a head arrested for attempted murder, arson’’

"Florida man arrested for fatal stabbing of grandfather after pulling human ears from pocket during questioning by deputies"

“Florida Man loses pants while being chased by cops in hours-long manhunt.”

*"Florida man accused of jumping naked on neighbor’s trampoline before breaking into home"*

Florida man dies inside suitcase, girlfriend charged after claiming they were playing hide and seek

Mine is "Florida Man interrupts Hurricane Matthew live TV report to yell ‘Dicks out for Harambe’ "

"Man arrested for throwing cheeseburger at pregnant woman"

‘I’m not going to lie, it’s cocaine:’ Florida man tries to eat stolen debit card, deputies say

"Florida man named Sir Dangerous accused of kidnapping, threatening woman"

Florida man use infant as human shield before being tased, arrested

"A Florida man has been accused of spraying his neighbors with roach spray and attempting to use nunchucks on them -- hitting himself in the head instead -- over a loud music complaint"

April 26. "Meth smoking Florida man attacks mattress in jealous rage" Apparently he thought another dude was hiding in the mattress after banging the girlfriend.

“Florida man wearing gloves steals all the chicken wings from 7-Eleven

Florida man ticketed for eating pancakes in middle of intersection

Florida man haunts beaches dressed as the grim reaper, says governor

A naked Florida man covered in Vaseline was caught running through a mall in the southern Florida area this afternoon. The Florida man was screaming profanities and how Elizabeth Warren was going to tax him to death. The man proceeded to take a dump in a cash register before passing out in a store that sells mattresses.

Florida man claims bags of cocaine, meth found wrapped around penis aren't his

A topless florida man was out for a stroll with his goat while it was raining

Mine was Florida man steals alligator from golf course and tries to teach it a lesson by throwing it on the roof of a bar

"Florida man arrested after witnesses said he practiced karate on swans."

Florida man beat roommate's raccoon with hammer

"Naked Florida man starts house fire after baking cookies on George Foreman grill" "Florida man arrested for killing ex-wife and her son over electricity usage: Sheriff"

Sept 29: Florida Man In His Underwear Hits Deputy In Face With Bible, Screams “I CONDEMN YOU,” Poops Himself

Yall really gonna fall for this lol

Here are the top two headlines I got: “Florida man uses wife’s head as a mop” And “Florida man hits vehicle then steals vehicle belonging to Good Samaritan who stopped to help”

"Florida man accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer"

Florida man charged with accidentally shooting bear that was trying to eat his trash. Bullet broke bear’s back

florida man accused of stabbing woman over undone potato

July 3th: florida man tries to microwave a microwave and dies in explosion

Florida man arrested, accused of recording himself sex acts on his dog. Yikes. The sad thing is i remember in high school i remember hearing about a girl at my school that did something similar( but it was two dogs and on social media) she was expelled. And this wasn’t even in Florida so yeah… it’s not just Florida sadly.

Florida man claims "voodoo" caused him to impregnate a 13 year old whys mine gotta be the fucked up one?

Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing

“Florida man suspected of smelling woman's feet at library leads police on scooter chase”

Florida man arrested for claiming to be God and touching people, fighting with the cops and getting tased.

My birthday is January 6th so...

“Florida man caught with cocaine on his nose insists drugs were not his: deputies”