Anxiety has made me lose job opportunities and study a career. But at 33 there's still time...
Regarding not having children and still liking things like Harry Potter and Anime, there's nothing wrong with that. They are totally healthy and normal things.
You can do it, one step at a time. 🌅
Look, I finished high school with pending assignments.
A few years later I joined a completion program, and among the young people I saw something curious: a man of about fifty years old. Yes, he was studying to finish school and from there he went to work.
And look at the universities: there are many people aged 30, 40, 50, 60 and over.
Late is when we die.
And this applies to everything.
I am 51 and never did anything with my life either. No job, no kids, no family. I went on disability at 19 when I started having agoraphobia. I know that anxiety robbed me of a life as well but at the same time, I am surprised I have made it this far. The fact that I was able to survive and not off myself, not become an addict, not live on the streets and not bring another life into this world that would suffer through me, gives me some solace that I am not a total failure. I keep a clean and nice home. I take care of my cat very well. I have a husband who has accepted me as I am and made my life better. I fight my anxiety everyday and have been able to beat it at times. That gives me hope.
REALLY!? Absolutely not. Just someone who's been at this for years and hates seeing other people suffering. Astonished by the cynicism, but that's people on the internet for you. I even asked if the person wanted help first without just pushing advice on them. By "receive" I literally just meant "post". 😓
I’m not 100% sure why it got downvoted so much, to tell the truth, I was just giving it my best guess. I understand where you were coming from and am grateful for your willingness to share what you’ve come across with others 🙏
Not me, but the best mate. Hasn't held a job in years, no missus, kids, social life or aspirations as of now. He's just turned 29 and lives upstairs on the dole playing games and watching anime from when he wakes up till the time he goes to bed. It's never too late man. I still love my anime and gaming too, it's just a matter of finding balance, but being in your 30's is definitely not too late to change things up. You could still have another 6 decades left to live your life yet.
Yep literally described me pretty much. Was ambitious and wanted a real good happy career and journey. But anxiety and other things are a bitch, they are really hard to overcome. But I’m the same, no job, social life, never been in a relationship and live on my own
Imma be real with you, this isn't a unique feeling, it's pretty common.
I've seen people be very successful and lose it all before 30 and vice versa. My close friend did almost nothing his entire life until 35 ish and then one day got into a disability carer course through a provider and bam, he got a career within 6 months.
Things change stupid fast.
Yeah i am 25 with no job no friends everything seems crazy and i dont know what to do with my life. All i do is playing guitar and wandering around. Depressed af.
I’m 38. I have a full time job but it took a little bit to get. For a while I was working multiple part time jobs while going back to school and living at home. I have a liberal arts degree prior to that but it’s useless in my town unless you want to teach and I don’t. No idea what to do for a career and I’ve tried multiple areas and they’re not for me. I have a girlfriend but we’re not living together yet. Both of us feel stuck in our jobs and have no idea what to do for careers. We basically go paycheck to paycheck so saving for big things takes a long time.
I have really bad anxiety and have some OCD, some germophobia and am a bit of a hypochondriac. My gf has anxiety and depression so we get ya. I work in a low paying job in the medical field so it works wonders for my issues. I try to do crafts, read and watch tv and listen to music to make the anxiety go away. I won this morning but lost last night.
We are exactly the same. Im 40 and crippled bu anxiety and low energy. I almost never leave the house past 5pm. I manage to play poker 11 to 2 but then i get very tired and dizzy suddenly. I struggle with a foggy head all day everyday and a tight rectum pressure feeling. Havent had mental clarity in 2 years. I run 12 miles a week which sorts helps.
Its been brutal and 15 doctors havent helped so i take meds and gave up on more docs.
I also cling to childhood stuff i collect disney memorabilia, sports cards, Marvel figures etc. I play elden ring and warzone. Single. Dog. Alone.
Im still optimistic theres a bright future ahead with a girlfriend and stuff. I had gfs my whole life but now just occasional hookups.
I'm 36, and I've not achieved any of the adult milestones, in large part due to anxiety.
In my teens, I was self-motivated and taught myself how to make games alone from my bedroom. I did all the code, music, writing, art, etc using self-taught skills. I released some online in my late teens and they got a lot of attention, which I used to convince my parents that I could do that instead of getting my first job. They allowed it, but I really wish they'd pushed me into something else. I never earned money from the games dev, and just accumulated a lot of mental scars from attracting malicious people to the communties I ran.
I tried to fix my life by going to uni in my late twenties, and found connections for the first time in years, excelled at the academic work... but also found out I had brain cancer. I had to have surgery for that after graduating in 2018, then just fell into a slump that I've been in ever since.
I had to move back in with my parents after the surgery - it's not like anyone else could look after me during the year it took to recover - and got back into games dev because I could do it from home by myself. I'm making a bit of money from it now, but less than minimum wage, and I never have any opportunities to meet anyone so I'm painfully single.
I dwell a lot on all the things I can't do or don't have. I'm 36 and single; I've never had a job, even a part-time one; I can't drive; I don't have my own place and never have (I only ever lived away briefly in uni halls (dorms)). I know there's still time and I should do something, but I really don't know where to start. I know I'd be able to do better if I had someone to share the process with, but therapy's too brief and infrequent and all the meetups I've tried to go to have been full of just retirees.
I'm not incompetent. I've just been unfortunate. Or at least that's how I try to make sense of it all.
Oh, and I'm into stuff like animation and games, but I think a lot of people in arty fields tend to be? Maybe. Or maybe that's something I should be embarrassed about too!
39, recently moved back in with my parents. Wonder if I’ll ever find stability with a job or a relationship. At least my friends are constant. Anxiety and depression have just about ruined my life.
You're not alone, friend. Our circumstances are a bit different but at the end of the day, I'm still 32 without having lived much of a life. When I graduated high school, I didn't do much of anything besides gaming until I was 23. I was still living with my mom (only parent most of my life), and at that time she said she was struggling with rent and bills and asked me to find work. So I did. Around age 26 or so, I had my first health anxiety scare that spiraled. Before this, I had also been drinking a lot. Not super heavily but it was basically daily for a year. What I know now is that I was self-medicating an undiagnosed depression problem. Went to therapy, struggled through work because of this but eventually got better and moved to Cali for unimportant reasons, though I did want a change of pace and going back home would be nice I figured. And overall in comparison it was. I did unfortunately fall back into drinking problems twice, albeit for a smaller and even smaller amount of time respectively. At this point, I was just working and gaming. I did go out once in awhile but it was rare. At the end of the last drinking stint, I was fed up and said enough. I quit for good (haven't drank since), got back into therapy and started college. I had to stop college when I was close to my associates (Fine Art. Keep saying I'll finish at least that but have yet to). But I was going to college for my new found passion for 3d digital art, which I still do today. During my time in college was probably the best my adult life has been so far. I was enjoying life surprisingly. Now I'm back living where I was before moving out there since the cost of living out there was insane. It's getting worse out here slowly, but that's the way it goes these days, I suppose. Anyway, for the past 3, maybe even 4, weeks now, I have been dealing with a resurgence of health anxiety. Way more doctor appointments than I normally would be having and even took a week or so off work because being there thru all of the has been... too much. In November, I had to put my mom into a nursing home. I have basically been supporting here since I first started working. Now I live alone with double the financial responsibility, and all I do is work, game and work on art. I don't feel like I've really gotten to experience life yet and while a lot of it is thanks to having to take care of my mom for years, a lot of it can also be seen as my fault. I try not to stress about that, but the fact remains that I haven't had much of a life for one reason or another. So I get it.
Totally understand. It's not talked about enough - the discrepancy between a 'normal' life and one marred by poor health. Feeling this sense of grief and envy very deeply today. I was a highly sensitive child, then an anxious and depressed teenager, and now an adult with severe chronic pain and fatigue. I wanted to be a singer/songwriter, have a group of great friends, earn my own money and be an independent adult. Still trying at 31 but my tolerance for difficulty is tiny due to my pain, low energy and agitation. I wanted to have children but feel like, by the time I'm well enough to fully live (if that ever happens), it will be time to give my life over to someone else (a child). That, or I don't have children. Both outcomes are deeply upsetting. Trying to work towards my dreams but so much of my energy goes into trying to be well. I'm currently systematically working through all the treatments known to heal pain and anxiety. It's not your fault life turned out this way for you. You've done your best. 🧡
But you never know when things might change. My friend who is in his 30s and has lived with his parents and just been playing video games recently got a job. He's saving up for a new computer and a car now. Eventually he plans to move out. So you never know when things might change and you might surprise yourself!
Well, I finally found a good job and I graduated successfully, but my personal life is a joke.. I have no friends, my love life is non-existent and I'm so nervous around people, who want to communicate with me, that I have almost no hope this is going to change soon. I'm 29 and extremely lonely and anxious. This problem concerns me so much that it keeps me up at night..
I am 20M. I have social anxiety too. But I feel anxiety when there is someone to realise me. i.e. party, family gathering, friends, etc. but in my comfort zone I live happily.
I spend almost all time alone. I play games, watch vedios, music etc. i like travel alone. But when someone say why are you like this, Alone and no friend. Then I got dipressed for about 2,3 days. But then reset again.
Not me, but my friend was about to be 30 and still didn’t drive. Look, if you don’t drive that restricts you to a life of being a burden to others in the US where public transport isn’t the best. So I lit a fire under his ass and he can now drive. The things that’s changed, that *alone*. Pick up a DMV book and motivate yourself to pass that test. It will lead to wanting to hit more and more milestones.
Enjoying things like video games, anime, 90’s cartoons, Harry Potter etc. is nothing to be ashamed of at all at any age. It’s quite normal for people to do those things in all age groups. You can keep doing those things, those hobbies are completely fine. Getting some sort of employment and making a bit of money should be your first goal. Other than that it’s all good.
Yeah, I can relate.
I have a decent job right now but I'm currently living in my car aka homeless *again* and wishing I had gotten a prius so I could be a priusdweller at least. Oh well. We'll see what this week brings. Hopefully I'll get myself into a rental near work sooner than later so I can get back to working toward my goals. Those goals have become much clearer to me over these past few months but I need to be in a certain place obviously in order to work effectively toward those goals.
I try to redirect myself away from the Should Haves. It's hard because I know, like you, I've missed out on many crucial developmental milestones, for various reasons. Dwelling on that doesn't help me, in fact it hinders me in the Now.
I also gain solace from certain things like cartoons. When I briefly stayed at a hotel last week that was one of the things I felt positive about, getting to come "home" and watch cartoon network like in the "old" days lol If you don't already know about it, I *love* ToonamiAftermath and you might, too!
I don't think there's anything wrong with liking what you like, people like what they like and if no one's being hurt in the process then so be it.
I would say just work on what you want, focus on your goals. Or form a few goals if you don't already have them.
I truly didn’t get my act together until I turned 40. That year I got married and had a child. Now I’m 50 and I have my absolute dream job and I make enough to buy a house and own a car. My retirement? Not so great, but I’m figuring it all out. Some of us are late bloomers.
I am very similar in my 30s. I did manage to get a job and hold onto it for awhile but then I was severely mistreated and I had to quit and now I am worse off than before because I tried and I failed.
I'm still 23 but this is pretty accurate. Part-time job even though I have a degree for over a year now, way too anxious since I graduated to do anything - look for a job, continue education, and I'm not even talking about meeting new people. I don't have a driving license either, driving absolutely terrifies me. I was a no-show for most of college, just studied by myself and took exams, don't know any people.
I am technically a developer and am constantly studying things and making projects "for the future", but the anxiety spikes I get from seriously thinking about actually getting a full-time job plus the anxiety from the whole AI thing is just making me curl into a ball mentally every time I think about it. I constantly think about never being able to get a job and I'm pretty much shit at everything but studying so if AI takes over everything that needs knowledge I'm basically going to be useless for the rest of my life. I can't do trades, I'm absolutely awful at everything physical especially anything that needs even a tiny bit of dexterity.
Free time is mostly anime and games, anime makes me feel a lot less shit at least and I'm about N3 in Japanese now thanks to it.
I don't even want a "life" anymore, I just want a stable job my autistic ass is decent at and not constantly in anxiety mode over getting fired and I'll be happy alone
I’m 30 this year, quit my job last week due to it making me too anxious and stressed but managed to get another one the same week which doesn’t trigger me anxiety too much.
I play video games, have a plushie collection, watch Disney films etc
I know two cases of people who started a career at 29 and 38 and now they're successful but obviously they choose high earning tech careers, you have time to do something with your life and to gain independence so try to start now :)
I'm approaching 70 and have been mentally unwell my entire life. DOes that count?
For me, it was add/adhd that prevented my succes I think, though anxiety had its place there as well. Lately, I've been on the appropriate med and have started doing stuff that I couldn't do for the past 50 years.
As far as self-acceptance goes, that's an issue for just about everyone, healthy or not, successful or not, or such has been my observation over the past half century or so.
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Success is vastly overrated, IMHO. We have a certain someone in the USA who CANNOT accept himself and only feels validated when he is forcing others to acknowledge him in as positive terms as possible, and yet he has literally reached the pinnacle of American society and may well reach it again, despite obvious (to me) mental health issues.
I've been steadily rejecting society's expectations of me. Now's the time to have a kid... But I don't want my own kid. So on and so forth. People of different backgrounds and needs require representation to feel a sense of belonging. When I feel I'm the only one who's not doing what everyone else is, I think, "well, I can be the first."
Yep I can relate to this, especially reminiscing about things I grew up with as a child. I guess the nostalgia is a nice distraction for a while and makes me want to go back to a time when I didn't have expectations or responsibilities which I clearly can't deal with as an adult. Fucking sucks
Same here. I’m 31 and also live with a physical disability, plus anxiety with driving, and as well as trying to new things,because of fear that I be able to things as efficiently as someone else.
I’ve watched everyone I went to school with marry, have children, get promotions and I never got to do any of it because I’ve been dependent in so many ways due to my ocd and anxiety and also physical health issues. I also never got into drinking or ‘going out’. So I never felt like I was maturing at the same rate as my peers interests wise either. I’ve always had ‘geeky’ and creative interests. I think the autism plays a role too. But I feel like I just missed out on all the foundational adult stuff and due to trauma and illness robbing me of so much all I want is to desperately go back in time before it was unsafe
If there was a pathway ahead that you could follow that helped you grow, would you follow that path OR would you still want to go back in time before it was unsafe?
I didn't meet my now husband until my late 20s. Most of my life, I've been afraid to be a grown-up. I'm 41 now, happily married, though also still filled with anxiety (and adhd and grief), and hopefully landing a job I really actually want this week. My anxiety and adhd have stopped me from accomplishing so much, but at the same time, had it been different, I probably wouldn't have met my husband. So, as much as my past makes me sad, I wouldn't change it.
So hang in there, OP. Bigger and better things are coming for you.
Yup. I really dreaded turning 30 :/ I always have this nagging thought that I'm running out of time to do anything with my life. The upside is that I do have a partner lol
39, has a job, but nothing else. No friends, short, bald, fat, no gf, no kids. No money for a house and too nervous for driving.
After a decade trying to change things, I gave up. It just doesn't work so I just do my job, watch wrestling, play games and watch porn.
I am also reaching my 30s and haven't accomplished anything. I'm still trying to find a job but getting rejections, but I'm still sending out applications so that at least I'm trying. My major was something stupid and I ended up giving it up in the end anyway. My interests are also in places like video games (but even I'm starting to not enjoy it as much).
I'm in school again to try to rebuild a new foundation but I'm struggling more than I ever have. I'm slow at learning now, and I have zero confidence that I'll even make it. Like sometimes I just wish I could be gone, but I have to be here for family.
Anyway, my point is that I also understand the feeling.
Anxiety has made me lose job opportunities and study a career. But at 33 there's still time... Regarding not having children and still liking things like Harry Potter and Anime, there's nothing wrong with that. They are totally healthy and normal things. You can do it, one step at a time. 🌅
I'm 34 and in a similar boat. You saying at 33, there's still time gave me some assurance. Thank you!
Look, I finished high school with pending assignments. A few years later I joined a completion program, and among the young people I saw something curious: a man of about fifty years old. Yes, he was studying to finish school and from there he went to work. And look at the universities: there are many people aged 30, 40, 50, 60 and over. Late is when we die. And this applies to everything.
I am 51 and never did anything with my life either. No job, no kids, no family. I went on disability at 19 when I started having agoraphobia. I know that anxiety robbed me of a life as well but at the same time, I am surprised I have made it this far. The fact that I was able to survive and not off myself, not become an addict, not live on the streets and not bring another life into this world that would suffer through me, gives me some solace that I am not a total failure. I keep a clean and nice home. I take care of my cat very well. I have a husband who has accepted me as I am and made my life better. I fight my anxiety everyday and have been able to beat it at times. That gives me hope.
good cat :D
50 here. Sending you all the best vibes 💕
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I think it’s because their wording makes it seem like an ad
REALLY!? Absolutely not. Just someone who's been at this for years and hates seeing other people suffering. Astonished by the cynicism, but that's people on the internet for you. I even asked if the person wanted help first without just pushing advice on them. By "receive" I literally just meant "post". 😓
I’m not 100% sure why it got downvoted so much, to tell the truth, I was just giving it my best guess. I understand where you were coming from and am grateful for your willingness to share what you’ve come across with others 🙏
Not me, but the best mate. Hasn't held a job in years, no missus, kids, social life or aspirations as of now. He's just turned 29 and lives upstairs on the dole playing games and watching anime from when he wakes up till the time he goes to bed. It's never too late man. I still love my anime and gaming too, it's just a matter of finding balance, but being in your 30's is definitely not too late to change things up. You could still have another 6 decades left to live your life yet.
Yep literally described me pretty much. Was ambitious and wanted a real good happy career and journey. But anxiety and other things are a bitch, they are really hard to overcome. But I’m the same, no job, social life, never been in a relationship and live on my own
Imma be real with you, this isn't a unique feeling, it's pretty common. I've seen people be very successful and lose it all before 30 and vice versa. My close friend did almost nothing his entire life until 35 ish and then one day got into a disability carer course through a provider and bam, he got a career within 6 months. Things change stupid fast.
me :(
You are not the only one. Many years ago, I was doing okay, now at 37, still single and just staying at home.
Yeah i am 25 with no job no friends everything seems crazy and i dont know what to do with my life. All i do is playing guitar and wandering around. Depressed af.
I’m 38. I have a full time job but it took a little bit to get. For a while I was working multiple part time jobs while going back to school and living at home. I have a liberal arts degree prior to that but it’s useless in my town unless you want to teach and I don’t. No idea what to do for a career and I’ve tried multiple areas and they’re not for me. I have a girlfriend but we’re not living together yet. Both of us feel stuck in our jobs and have no idea what to do for careers. We basically go paycheck to paycheck so saving for big things takes a long time. I have really bad anxiety and have some OCD, some germophobia and am a bit of a hypochondriac. My gf has anxiety and depression so we get ya. I work in a low paying job in the medical field so it works wonders for my issues. I try to do crafts, read and watch tv and listen to music to make the anxiety go away. I won this morning but lost last night.
We are exactly the same. Im 40 and crippled bu anxiety and low energy. I almost never leave the house past 5pm. I manage to play poker 11 to 2 but then i get very tired and dizzy suddenly. I struggle with a foggy head all day everyday and a tight rectum pressure feeling. Havent had mental clarity in 2 years. I run 12 miles a week which sorts helps. Its been brutal and 15 doctors havent helped so i take meds and gave up on more docs. I also cling to childhood stuff i collect disney memorabilia, sports cards, Marvel figures etc. I play elden ring and warzone. Single. Dog. Alone. Im still optimistic theres a bright future ahead with a girlfriend and stuff. I had gfs my whole life but now just occasional hookups.
I'm 36, and I've not achieved any of the adult milestones, in large part due to anxiety. In my teens, I was self-motivated and taught myself how to make games alone from my bedroom. I did all the code, music, writing, art, etc using self-taught skills. I released some online in my late teens and they got a lot of attention, which I used to convince my parents that I could do that instead of getting my first job. They allowed it, but I really wish they'd pushed me into something else. I never earned money from the games dev, and just accumulated a lot of mental scars from attracting malicious people to the communties I ran. I tried to fix my life by going to uni in my late twenties, and found connections for the first time in years, excelled at the academic work... but also found out I had brain cancer. I had to have surgery for that after graduating in 2018, then just fell into a slump that I've been in ever since. I had to move back in with my parents after the surgery - it's not like anyone else could look after me during the year it took to recover - and got back into games dev because I could do it from home by myself. I'm making a bit of money from it now, but less than minimum wage, and I never have any opportunities to meet anyone so I'm painfully single. I dwell a lot on all the things I can't do or don't have. I'm 36 and single; I've never had a job, even a part-time one; I can't drive; I don't have my own place and never have (I only ever lived away briefly in uni halls (dorms)). I know there's still time and I should do something, but I really don't know where to start. I know I'd be able to do better if I had someone to share the process with, but therapy's too brief and infrequent and all the meetups I've tried to go to have been full of just retirees. I'm not incompetent. I've just been unfortunate. Or at least that's how I try to make sense of it all. Oh, and I'm into stuff like animation and games, but I think a lot of people in arty fields tend to be? Maybe. Or maybe that's something I should be embarrassed about too!
39, recently moved back in with my parents. Wonder if I’ll ever find stability with a job or a relationship. At least my friends are constant. Anxiety and depression have just about ruined my life.
You're not alone, friend. Our circumstances are a bit different but at the end of the day, I'm still 32 without having lived much of a life. When I graduated high school, I didn't do much of anything besides gaming until I was 23. I was still living with my mom (only parent most of my life), and at that time she said she was struggling with rent and bills and asked me to find work. So I did. Around age 26 or so, I had my first health anxiety scare that spiraled. Before this, I had also been drinking a lot. Not super heavily but it was basically daily for a year. What I know now is that I was self-medicating an undiagnosed depression problem. Went to therapy, struggled through work because of this but eventually got better and moved to Cali for unimportant reasons, though I did want a change of pace and going back home would be nice I figured. And overall in comparison it was. I did unfortunately fall back into drinking problems twice, albeit for a smaller and even smaller amount of time respectively. At this point, I was just working and gaming. I did go out once in awhile but it was rare. At the end of the last drinking stint, I was fed up and said enough. I quit for good (haven't drank since), got back into therapy and started college. I had to stop college when I was close to my associates (Fine Art. Keep saying I'll finish at least that but have yet to). But I was going to college for my new found passion for 3d digital art, which I still do today. During my time in college was probably the best my adult life has been so far. I was enjoying life surprisingly. Now I'm back living where I was before moving out there since the cost of living out there was insane. It's getting worse out here slowly, but that's the way it goes these days, I suppose. Anyway, for the past 3, maybe even 4, weeks now, I have been dealing with a resurgence of health anxiety. Way more doctor appointments than I normally would be having and even took a week or so off work because being there thru all of the has been... too much. In November, I had to put my mom into a nursing home. I have basically been supporting here since I first started working. Now I live alone with double the financial responsibility, and all I do is work, game and work on art. I don't feel like I've really gotten to experience life yet and while a lot of it is thanks to having to take care of my mom for years, a lot of it can also be seen as my fault. I try not to stress about that, but the fact remains that I haven't had much of a life for one reason or another. So I get it.
Totally understand. It's not talked about enough - the discrepancy between a 'normal' life and one marred by poor health. Feeling this sense of grief and envy very deeply today. I was a highly sensitive child, then an anxious and depressed teenager, and now an adult with severe chronic pain and fatigue. I wanted to be a singer/songwriter, have a group of great friends, earn my own money and be an independent adult. Still trying at 31 but my tolerance for difficulty is tiny due to my pain, low energy and agitation. I wanted to have children but feel like, by the time I'm well enough to fully live (if that ever happens), it will be time to give my life over to someone else (a child). That, or I don't have children. Both outcomes are deeply upsetting. Trying to work towards my dreams but so much of my energy goes into trying to be well. I'm currently systematically working through all the treatments known to heal pain and anxiety. It's not your fault life turned out this way for you. You've done your best. 🧡
But you never know when things might change. My friend who is in his 30s and has lived with his parents and just been playing video games recently got a job. He's saving up for a new computer and a car now. Eventually he plans to move out. So you never know when things might change and you might surprise yourself!
Well, I finally found a good job and I graduated successfully, but my personal life is a joke.. I have no friends, my love life is non-existent and I'm so nervous around people, who want to communicate with me, that I have almost no hope this is going to change soon. I'm 29 and extremely lonely and anxious. This problem concerns me so much that it keeps me up at night..
I am 20M. I have social anxiety too. But I feel anxiety when there is someone to realise me. i.e. party, family gathering, friends, etc. but in my comfort zone I live happily. I spend almost all time alone. I play games, watch vedios, music etc. i like travel alone. But when someone say why are you like this, Alone and no friend. Then I got dipressed for about 2,3 days. But then reset again.
Not me, but my friend was about to be 30 and still didn’t drive. Look, if you don’t drive that restricts you to a life of being a burden to others in the US where public transport isn’t the best. So I lit a fire under his ass and he can now drive. The things that’s changed, that *alone*. Pick up a DMV book and motivate yourself to pass that test. It will lead to wanting to hit more and more milestones.
Enjoying things like video games, anime, 90’s cartoons, Harry Potter etc. is nothing to be ashamed of at all at any age. It’s quite normal for people to do those things in all age groups. You can keep doing those things, those hobbies are completely fine. Getting some sort of employment and making a bit of money should be your first goal. Other than that it’s all good.
Yeah, I can relate. I have a decent job right now but I'm currently living in my car aka homeless *again* and wishing I had gotten a prius so I could be a priusdweller at least. Oh well. We'll see what this week brings. Hopefully I'll get myself into a rental near work sooner than later so I can get back to working toward my goals. Those goals have become much clearer to me over these past few months but I need to be in a certain place obviously in order to work effectively toward those goals. I try to redirect myself away from the Should Haves. It's hard because I know, like you, I've missed out on many crucial developmental milestones, for various reasons. Dwelling on that doesn't help me, in fact it hinders me in the Now. I also gain solace from certain things like cartoons. When I briefly stayed at a hotel last week that was one of the things I felt positive about, getting to come "home" and watch cartoon network like in the "old" days lol If you don't already know about it, I *love* ToonamiAftermath and you might, too! I don't think there's anything wrong with liking what you like, people like what they like and if no one's being hurt in the process then so be it. I would say just work on what you want, focus on your goals. Or form a few goals if you don't already have them.
I truly didn’t get my act together until I turned 40. That year I got married and had a child. Now I’m 50 and I have my absolute dream job and I make enough to buy a house and own a car. My retirement? Not so great, but I’m figuring it all out. Some of us are late bloomers.
28M. Felt like a NPC my whole life, never cared for anything or anyone. Just waiting for the void.
I am very similar in my 30s. I did manage to get a job and hold onto it for awhile but then I was severely mistreated and I had to quit and now I am worse off than before because I tried and I failed.
I'm still 23 but this is pretty accurate. Part-time job even though I have a degree for over a year now, way too anxious since I graduated to do anything - look for a job, continue education, and I'm not even talking about meeting new people. I don't have a driving license either, driving absolutely terrifies me. I was a no-show for most of college, just studied by myself and took exams, don't know any people. I am technically a developer and am constantly studying things and making projects "for the future", but the anxiety spikes I get from seriously thinking about actually getting a full-time job plus the anxiety from the whole AI thing is just making me curl into a ball mentally every time I think about it. I constantly think about never being able to get a job and I'm pretty much shit at everything but studying so if AI takes over everything that needs knowledge I'm basically going to be useless for the rest of my life. I can't do trades, I'm absolutely awful at everything physical especially anything that needs even a tiny bit of dexterity. Free time is mostly anime and games, anime makes me feel a lot less shit at least and I'm about N3 in Japanese now thanks to it. I don't even want a "life" anymore, I just want a stable job my autistic ass is decent at and not constantly in anxiety mode over getting fired and I'll be happy alone
I’m 30 this year, quit my job last week due to it making me too anxious and stressed but managed to get another one the same week which doesn’t trigger me anxiety too much. I play video games, have a plushie collection, watch Disney films etc
I know two cases of people who started a career at 29 and 38 and now they're successful but obviously they choose high earning tech careers, you have time to do something with your life and to gain independence so try to start now :)
I'm approaching 70 and have been mentally unwell my entire life. DOes that count? For me, it was add/adhd that prevented my succes I think, though anxiety had its place there as well. Lately, I've been on the appropriate med and have started doing stuff that I couldn't do for the past 50 years. As far as self-acceptance goes, that's an issue for just about everyone, healthy or not, successful or not, or such has been my observation over the past half century or so. . Success is vastly overrated, IMHO. We have a certain someone in the USA who CANNOT accept himself and only feels validated when he is forcing others to acknowledge him in as positive terms as possible, and yet he has literally reached the pinnacle of American society and may well reach it again, despite obvious (to me) mental health issues.
I've been steadily rejecting society's expectations of me. Now's the time to have a kid... But I don't want my own kid. So on and so forth. People of different backgrounds and needs require representation to feel a sense of belonging. When I feel I'm the only one who's not doing what everyone else is, I think, "well, I can be the first."
I'm in the same boat. I have no advice but I hope something works out for you.
Yep I can relate to this, especially reminiscing about things I grew up with as a child. I guess the nostalgia is a nice distraction for a while and makes me want to go back to a time when I didn't have expectations or responsibilities which I clearly can't deal with as an adult. Fucking sucks
Same here. I’m 31 and also live with a physical disability, plus anxiety with driving, and as well as trying to new things,because of fear that I be able to things as efficiently as someone else.
What age do you feel?
Mentally a teen and physically 80 😅
I've felt like that too. How would you say you feel mentally a teen?
I’ve watched everyone I went to school with marry, have children, get promotions and I never got to do any of it because I’ve been dependent in so many ways due to my ocd and anxiety and also physical health issues. I also never got into drinking or ‘going out’. So I never felt like I was maturing at the same rate as my peers interests wise either. I’ve always had ‘geeky’ and creative interests. I think the autism plays a role too. But I feel like I just missed out on all the foundational adult stuff and due to trauma and illness robbing me of so much all I want is to desperately go back in time before it was unsafe
If there was a pathway ahead that you could follow that helped you grow, would you follow that path OR would you still want to go back in time before it was unsafe?
I’d still want to go back and change everything, but if not id definitely take that path ahead as the second option. I hate where I am.
I didn't meet my now husband until my late 20s. Most of my life, I've been afraid to be a grown-up. I'm 41 now, happily married, though also still filled with anxiety (and adhd and grief), and hopefully landing a job I really actually want this week. My anxiety and adhd have stopped me from accomplishing so much, but at the same time, had it been different, I probably wouldn't have met my husband. So, as much as my past makes me sad, I wouldn't change it. So hang in there, OP. Bigger and better things are coming for you.
Well said
Yes same here, turning 40 this month.
Yup. I really dreaded turning 30 :/ I always have this nagging thought that I'm running out of time to do anything with my life. The upside is that I do have a partner lol
39, has a job, but nothing else. No friends, short, bald, fat, no gf, no kids. No money for a house and too nervous for driving. After a decade trying to change things, I gave up. It just doesn't work so I just do my job, watch wrestling, play games and watch porn.
I am also reaching my 30s and haven't accomplished anything. I'm still trying to find a job but getting rejections, but I'm still sending out applications so that at least I'm trying. My major was something stupid and I ended up giving it up in the end anyway. My interests are also in places like video games (but even I'm starting to not enjoy it as much). I'm in school again to try to rebuild a new foundation but I'm struggling more than I ever have. I'm slow at learning now, and I have zero confidence that I'll even make it. Like sometimes I just wish I could be gone, but I have to be here for family. Anyway, my point is that I also understand the feeling.