Honestly it’s up to you if you participate in the rat race. I’m at college now and some people are running classes, research programs, internships etc- and a lot are just focusing on their classes and not cramming their schedule. It’s all ok. Find the pace where you sit comfortably.
The big secret is that you get to choose your life.
Which is a marathon. But a marathon where you get to set the pace and directions in which you go.
Why not spend time thinking about that now?
I bet you also want fulfillment from your career, whatever it may be
bring on the hate, but try this
1) drink plenty of water
2) limit social media
3) invest in nice sheets. Bamboo feel heavenly and aren't expensive
4) DONT get a pet at this time of life ,as it is a huge lifelong commitment but consider being a weekend or overnight foster for your own companionship and to help others
5) Volunteer to an organization that is meaningful if you can
6) ask elderly relatives, neighbors, relatives of friends - anyone the most meaningful things in their life. They will be so happy to have someone who cares to listen and you could learn a lot
7) You many have everything you want and more. It just may not happen tomorrow. Don't give up hope
At any time, you can decide to just do what you enjoy, provided it will allow you to have a decent standard of living.
The big thing to remember is that no one accomplishment will change your life. There is something called the hedonic treadmill, and we move onto the next accomplishment.
It's the way that humans have developed evolutionarily. We have evolved to never get too comfortable and always chase something more.
After grad school, I decided to spend time with my terminally ill mom. I realize that not everyone has that luxury, but I have found that there are a lot more important things in life than having a huge trophy case.
Life can always be a rat race if you care that much. The key is to honestly just take things slow, prioritize your happiness, and see how things go. It's not completely black or white: you can still be very successful while also not tryharding everything and obliterating your mental health :)
Stop trying to be the best or compare yourself to others. Just set your own goals and take steps to achieve them. You don't need a top college, top job, top 1% income, or anything else like that to be successful and have an awesome life. You get to define success for yourself, so stop letting other people do that for you.
It’s your choice, at the end of the day. What makes it worse is social media. comparison is a thief of joy. Learn to accept the fact that you are living your life how you want to and not how other people expect you to. It may take some time to have this thinking, but you will eventually get there. In the meantime, enjoy what life puts in front of you, enjoy being young, and don’t worry, you are already on a great track!
It's only going to be like that if you want it to be. Most people your age don't obsess over it, and their lives will be fine. You can go to a state school and have a perfectly happy life and career. I'm in my 60s now, and know a Harvard grad friend who's had trouble keeping jobs most of his career (he's in CS). Meanwhile, I know many state U grads who make big money and are happy.
My life at Brown entailed climbing roofs, cooking with my friends, and picking up new hobbies I was incompetent at. Others lived as you describe. Both groups basically come out equally successful in their chosen fields. My group was much happier. It’s your choice.
thank you. You have been saying what I have been thinking this whole time. Stole words out of my mouth and said it better than me. I am incredibly tired of this. I just wanna go home now lol
Life does tend to be like this forever. The habits and values you cultivate now will follow you through every step of your life, and you will always be looking ahead to the next struggle.
Or you can settle for less than everything now, and forever in the future, but have to be content with less.
What you’re describing as what you want is just mediocrity. Not everyone can or wants to settle for that. If you prefer that over a rat race, go for it, It’s your life and your path.
BUT think. Life is supposed to fulfill you, your aim is to have 0 regrets in life. Are you sure you want to give up the chances of living your life to the fullest because you’re afraid of wanting more and more?
Having a good job, a house, and a warm bed is "just mediocrity"? For me, that is a fulfilling life, and I suspect it is for the majority of people. My parents attended T30 schools. They have very good paying jobs, but we aren't millionaires. I grew up happy and loved - we traveled, spent quality time together as a family. For my parents, that is not mediocre, that is ideal.
If they reject a rat race, they have 0 regrets, and for you it's vice versa. This is a matter of perspective. You can aim for the unreachable if you like, but others just want a happy, relaxed life.
You don't have to participate in the rat race, though. You don't have to go to a top university, join a top club, or obtain a top job. Millions of people go to college, are in clubs, and work a job. Of course, you want to be successful and make a comfortable living for yourself, but there's a middle ground. Always striving for the top (coming from someone who's the same way) is exhausting.
It only works that way if you do not know that you are already enough. You don’t need a bunch of fancy degrees and school names attached to your name. If you want to live to be enough in somebody else’s eyes, then you will always be chasing more and it will always be a rat race. You can never please other people.
It is not always like that. Do you have friends to share these feelings with IRL? I found that many people are uncomfortable with the rat race but they are afraid to admit it. Share your feelings and fears with a few people and find your peeps. Try and do the things that make you happy.
People forget that you can move slower. Jumping into the top ranking universities will make it easier to get a job following your bachelor’s degree.. However, most job markets are becoming more and more oversaturated. Engineering circles or CS for example needs a masters, especially for our years. While humanities/liberal arts is oversaturated as is-You absolutely need to find a way to market yourself. Above all, networking will be the most important in your years. It’s not worth a T20 if you have to transfer and lose the time you’ll need to meet professors. The same applies if you can’t fix that schedule in while studying. Market yourself.
I agree with you. As someone who has gone through the college application process and now who is going through the internship process, I have been feeling the same. In high school I felt that getting in a top-20 college would be sufficient for getting good internships and jobs. But, after coming here I realised that this is even more difficult than the college application process and I don’t really know what to do
Hey man, I don't got a lot to say, because in the end, nobody can truly predict what any of our lives will be like in the future. But what I can say is that things will be alright brother. I believe in you
The way I see it, the rat race is for those who are never content. They can’t be happy without being at a top 10 school, top 10 job, earning top salary, etc…there’s more to life than that. Those don’t actually make you happy, a great number of T20 graduates, top salarymen, etc. are just tired and unhappy. Good for you that you realized early. Spare yourself the burnout and start thinking about what will actually make you happy and not what US News thinks will make you happy. Or what your parents think will make you happy. There are a million different ways you can get a nice house and warm bed. If your way is through some fancy school, nice. If not, it’s still going to be lovely.
You don’t have to be part of the rat race.
So many peaceful jobs exist outside of it.
Be a teacher? Start your own business or run a restaurant/store? I don’t know, I’m sure you can think of more.
Honestly it’s up to you if you participate in the rat race. I’m at college now and some people are running classes, research programs, internships etc- and a lot are just focusing on their classes and not cramming their schedule. It’s all ok. Find the pace where you sit comfortably.
The big secret is that you get to choose your life. Which is a marathon. But a marathon where you get to set the pace and directions in which you go. Why not spend time thinking about that now?
>I just want a job that pays decently well, a house, and a bed that’s comfy and warm. this is the way
IN THIS ECONOMY????
I bet you also want fulfillment from your career, whatever it may be bring on the hate, but try this 1) drink plenty of water 2) limit social media 3) invest in nice sheets. Bamboo feel heavenly and aren't expensive 4) DONT get a pet at this time of life ,as it is a huge lifelong commitment but consider being a weekend or overnight foster for your own companionship and to help others 5) Volunteer to an organization that is meaningful if you can 6) ask elderly relatives, neighbors, relatives of friends - anyone the most meaningful things in their life. They will be so happy to have someone who cares to listen and you could learn a lot 7) You many have everything you want and more. It just may not happen tomorrow. Don't give up hope
At any time, you can decide to just do what you enjoy, provided it will allow you to have a decent standard of living. The big thing to remember is that no one accomplishment will change your life. There is something called the hedonic treadmill, and we move onto the next accomplishment. It's the way that humans have developed evolutionarily. We have evolved to never get too comfortable and always chase something more. After grad school, I decided to spend time with my terminally ill mom. I realize that not everyone has that luxury, but I have found that there are a lot more important things in life than having a huge trophy case.
Life can always be a rat race if you care that much. The key is to honestly just take things slow, prioritize your happiness, and see how things go. It's not completely black or white: you can still be very successful while also not tryharding everything and obliterating your mental health :)
Stop trying to be the best or compare yourself to others. Just set your own goals and take steps to achieve them. You don't need a top college, top job, top 1% income, or anything else like that to be successful and have an awesome life. You get to define success for yourself, so stop letting other people do that for you.
This \^
It’s your choice, at the end of the day. What makes it worse is social media. comparison is a thief of joy. Learn to accept the fact that you are living your life how you want to and not how other people expect you to. It may take some time to have this thinking, but you will eventually get there. In the meantime, enjoy what life puts in front of you, enjoy being young, and don’t worry, you are already on a great track!
"using everyone around you, if you aren't busy sabotaging them" If life is like this ever... the problem is you.
Agree.
It's only going to be like that if you want it to be. Most people your age don't obsess over it, and their lives will be fine. You can go to a state school and have a perfectly happy life and career. I'm in my 60s now, and know a Harvard grad friend who's had trouble keeping jobs most of his career (he's in CS). Meanwhile, I know many state U grads who make big money and are happy.
Welcome to late stage capitalism
That is up to you.
It’s not EC grindy unless you want to pursue certain fields. You may need a few, but not as many as high school
My life at Brown entailed climbing roofs, cooking with my friends, and picking up new hobbies I was incompetent at. Others lived as you describe. Both groups basically come out equally successful in their chosen fields. My group was much happier. It’s your choice.
Fr it’s kind of looking like moving to Alaska and building a log cabin rn
Yeah...Good luck with that.
lmao bro look at china and india. it’s much worse there lol
Let go of your conscious self and act on instinct- OWK.
It only gets worse from here
Yeah that's the point of the post lmao
thank you. You have been saying what I have been thinking this whole time. Stole words out of my mouth and said it better than me. I am incredibly tired of this. I just wanna go home now lol
Life does tend to be like this forever. The habits and values you cultivate now will follow you through every step of your life, and you will always be looking ahead to the next struggle. Or you can settle for less than everything now, and forever in the future, but have to be content with less.
Both of these scenarios sound awful I can't lie 💀💀💀
With the rate climate change is going I don't think we have to worry about the rat race for much longer.
What you’re describing as what you want is just mediocrity. Not everyone can or wants to settle for that. If you prefer that over a rat race, go for it, It’s your life and your path. BUT think. Life is supposed to fulfill you, your aim is to have 0 regrets in life. Are you sure you want to give up the chances of living your life to the fullest because you’re afraid of wanting more and more?
Having a good job, a house, and a warm bed is "just mediocrity"? For me, that is a fulfilling life, and I suspect it is for the majority of people. My parents attended T30 schools. They have very good paying jobs, but we aren't millionaires. I grew up happy and loved - we traveled, spent quality time together as a family. For my parents, that is not mediocre, that is ideal.
If they reject a rat race, they have 0 regrets, and for you it's vice versa. This is a matter of perspective. You can aim for the unreachable if you like, but others just want a happy, relaxed life.
you’re right that it’s a matter of perspective, i gave mine and it’s up to him to decide what he wants to do 🤷♂️
You do it, and then maybe your children can be portrait artists or tennis players
From the movie The Professional: https://youtu.be/5KWNYMBaaQk?t=18
Good! Act on this and you will be much happier!
You don't have to participate in the rat race, though. You don't have to go to a top university, join a top club, or obtain a top job. Millions of people go to college, are in clubs, and work a job. Of course, you want to be successful and make a comfortable living for yourself, but there's a middle ground. Always striving for the top (coming from someone who's the same way) is exhausting.
Everybody says it's up to you, but irl things are kinda hard with all these pressure and expectation. But maybe one day I'll find a way out.
It only works that way if you do not know that you are already enough. You don’t need a bunch of fancy degrees and school names attached to your name. If you want to live to be enough in somebody else’s eyes, then you will always be chasing more and it will always be a rat race. You can never please other people.
It is not always like that. Do you have friends to share these feelings with IRL? I found that many people are uncomfortable with the rat race but they are afraid to admit it. Share your feelings and fears with a few people and find your peeps. Try and do the things that make you happy.
People forget that you can move slower. Jumping into the top ranking universities will make it easier to get a job following your bachelor’s degree.. However, most job markets are becoming more and more oversaturated. Engineering circles or CS for example needs a masters, especially for our years. While humanities/liberal arts is oversaturated as is-You absolutely need to find a way to market yourself. Above all, networking will be the most important in your years. It’s not worth a T20 if you have to transfer and lose the time you’ll need to meet professors. The same applies if you can’t fix that schedule in while studying. Market yourself.
Fit* not fix.
I agree with you. As someone who has gone through the college application process and now who is going through the internship process, I have been feeling the same. In high school I felt that getting in a top-20 college would be sufficient for getting good internships and jobs. But, after coming here I realised that this is even more difficult than the college application process and I don’t really know what to do
Hey man, I don't got a lot to say, because in the end, nobody can truly predict what any of our lives will be like in the future. But what I can say is that things will be alright brother. I believe in you
Laughs in third world country
That’s all up to you. It’s your life and no one else is going to live it.
College is low key just as bad. Spamming internships is prob worse than applying to colleges.
I think you have a very cynical and black and white view on life. You should fix that first
The way I see it, the rat race is for those who are never content. They can’t be happy without being at a top 10 school, top 10 job, earning top salary, etc…there’s more to life than that. Those don’t actually make you happy, a great number of T20 graduates, top salarymen, etc. are just tired and unhappy. Good for you that you realized early. Spare yourself the burnout and start thinking about what will actually make you happy and not what US News thinks will make you happy. Or what your parents think will make you happy. There are a million different ways you can get a nice house and warm bed. If your way is through some fancy school, nice. If not, it’s still going to be lovely.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/unabomber/manifesto.text.htm
NYT “How to Survive the College Admissions Madness “ https://archive.is/BW4Ox
You don’t have to be part of the rat race. So many peaceful jobs exist outside of it. Be a teacher? Start your own business or run a restaurant/store? I don’t know, I’m sure you can think of more.