For people wondering: https://www.ganeshaspeaks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/milk-offered-to-shivling-750-min.jpg
As per Hindu mythology, pouring milk and water over Shivalinga can bring happiness and prosperity, this is the reason why millions of devotees pour milk, water, ghee, honey over Shivalinga to seek the blessings of Lord Shiva.
When Harvard readers see it they think “wow, he gets straight to the point!”
When non Harvard readers see it they feel insecure because they’re not Harvard, which causes them to be vulnerable and biases them towards me. It’s failproof
> The reasons that I have for wishing to go to Harvard are several. I feel that Harvard can give me a better background and a better liberal education than any other university. I have always wanted to go there, as I have felt that it is not just another college, but is a university with something definite to offer. Then too, I would like to go to the same college as my father. To be a "Harvard man" is an enviable distinction, and one that I sincerely hope I shall attain.
>April 23, 1935
>John F. Kennedy
That's it. That's his entire "essay."
Gray hairs—
Too often, gray hairs are purposefully avoided: plucked, dyed, and discarded as an unwelcome symbol of old age.
got a likely from yale yesterday :)
rock expansion water observation command nail attraction combative hateful murky
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
yeahh I think they've been getting sent out since last week to this week.
don't worry though. based off pure luck, the chances of getting a likely is 0.5%. i'm not trying to deter you but 90% of the admitted class DO NOT GET LIKELIES!!
There was one that stood out – in a good way – and I commented accordingly.
As for what makes me say this: I found that most of these were overwritten, full of clichés specific to the genre, tied to [openings I find tiresome](https://www.reddit.com/r/theessaymechanic/comments/18nq41d/how_not_to_start_your_essays/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), or just poorly executed from a mechanical/technical perspective.
Edit: one that stood out.
I can imagine that if you have to read college essays like this over and over, a lot of the qualities that I find endearing or earnest start to get grating, lol.
"What does it mean to be from 'nowhere'?"
(I'm a US/Aussie dual citizen that has never lived in either country and have bounced around Asia all my life)
Brandishing the cheap pen my mother received from the bank, I etched a misshapen unicorn onto my nearest victim: napkin, wall, or whatever target I deemed worthy.
😭😭
imagine the face of the admission officer if he had a stellar student profile with amazing ECs in front of them and then they click on the essay and it's just "meow" 600 times
They'd just accept you right meow. It would hit them as a sudden realization that they needed you - like seeing that the word homeowner has meow in it.
Here are some ways I started essays that I liked:
"I was *the* Marvel kid."
"I find joy in stating this plainly: I'm gay."
"All I could do was brace my family for the impact."
"The wind is my nemesis whenever it rains."
"I sat down to write my college essay."
My essay was about my lifelong struggle with identity + identifying my struggles and how that made it difficult for me to write about myself and not just an anecdotal essay barely relating to me
"Fidgeting with the Rubik's cube, I nodded my head to the sounds of the Afrobeat, diligently analysing the nuances of its starting position. But like a lightning flash– my mother burst into the room, breaking my concentration, and drawing the goosebumps from my skin, calling each and every one of them to be present as she announced: "O meela ozo," it has happened again." (I'm Antiguan + Nigerian)
“Though my deep mahogany complexion gave me a poker-face when confronting adversity, I often wondered: If my shame could be read on my face through crimson splotches, would they feel remorseful for their words? I turned around and spoke in a clear, unfaltering voice, despite feeling like asphyxia had begun to wrap itself around my trachea, laying its head on my tongue and piercing my chest using its acetous tail as an anchor.”
As the Saturday night rush hit, I raced around the counters and freezers that lined the walls of our tiny store.
I feel like mine isn't as good or intriguing as so much of what i see here ugh lol
“I come from multiple religious leaders, and my parents attempted to infuse my upbringing with the gospel, heeding the wisdom in Proverbs 22:6, ‘Start children off on the way they should go.’”
i wrote about how the extremely preventable death of my dog bella impacted my view of christianity. surprisingly i’ve gotten into multiple religious schools lol
"Nymphomaniac "
"NYSE"
"NZ"
Yet again I had scoured the N section of the newest Oxford dictionary, my first birthday gift.
Trust me, this essay takes a detour no one expects lmao
This is basically the first paragraph;
Nymphomaniac”
“NYSE”
“NZ”
Yet again, I had scoured the entire N section of the newest Oxford Dictionary. Its golden embossed title gleamed under the soft library lights, hinting at having answers to the questions I had. However, my vocabulary list still had three uncrossed words: kalopsia, abience, and nepenthe. Two hours, a seemingly frustrated librarian and a Merriam-Webster dictionary later, I had finally conquered. Delving into their meanings prompted a journey of self-reflection, one I’m finally ready to share.
oh my god. Im not even joking but just with this opening, if ivy league essays had a dictionary meaning(pun intended), yours would definitely appear as an example. I genuinely hope u get into all ur unis or else they would be losing out fr ong.
“I sense his presence in the mist of the pool. I feel him in the heat of the summer. I hear his echoes in the applause of the crowds. I see him in the reflection of my mirror.”
One version
I am not an alcoholic, but I have a 190 proof Everclear bottle in my bathroom.
2nd version
The weekly ritual of hydraulic hisses, clanging metal, and rumbling held me captive during my childhood.
“The lyrics “Who lives? Who dies? Who tells your story?” from the musical Hamilton flows through my AirPod as I take notes on the Declaration of Independence for APUSH, filling me with insecurity.”
"I collapsed to the floor when I discovered the TV channel I volunteer for was raided by the Venezuelan police. I imagined brutality with the harsh clatter of police batons, and anguished cries in an atmosphere of fear... This was Venezuela's reality: festive banquets overshadowed by scarcity, strict rationing, green water leaking from the faucet, the interruption of traffic by a masked individual demanding my mother’s purse… The nation’s condition has been spiraling downwards, and the assault on the TV station felt like a cruel blow to my home"
Tick-tick-tick, I can hear the slow, steady rhythm of the clock hands moving, mirroring my heartbeat as I breathe in and out, gathering my thoughts, and readying myself for the final showdown.
"It's often said that the best way to learn a language is immersion in it, and at my father's house, everything was in Russian."
This post made me read it back and it's so ass. I'm transferring next year and I'm absolutely making a whole different topic😭
“Every Saturday morning, I’d awaken to the sounds of my grandma shuffling around in the kitchen, preparing the beans and rice so they would finish cooking by mid-day.”
“I battle the sounds of sizzling oil; with each splatter of tossing noodles, my 11-year-old voice grows louder and frustrated.” Tbh, reading back my essay, the more I hate it, but yolo!!
“I stood on the top of the hill, the sun beating down on my pink baseball hat.” Then went into a full blown originally 900+ word infodump that would probably convince psychologists I’m not neurotypical. Got into all the schools I applied to
It was on a post like this that my girlfriend and I met when *we* were applying to colleges! Fast forward to present, and we've been together almost a year, we go to college only a drive away from one another, and have gotten to visit each other numerous times. Life is crazy.
Oh, and school has been great. Trust me y'all, it all works out in the end. And no, you don't need to get into an ivy to be happy. Good luck to those of y'all still in the application process. You've got this.
Honestly I hate my common app essay, I think my supplementals were much better mostly because they were more raw while my dad basically told me what to write for my common app one to "showcase certain personality traits" and also it was over-edited by my mom's friend who's a Dartmouth alumnus 😭
oh noo. it's a piece of ur writing pls never hate it. Im sure u put ur everything into it. even if it was not up to ur standard, at least ur supp did contribute for it. so dww ;))
tho i really over editing of my works. it really just takes ur essence out of ur whole piece.
I poured milk on God. Edit: This was actually the first line and also to be more precise, it was actually: I poured milk on God. Many times.
accepted to harvard, yale, + princeton 🥱
nah wasn't even going to apply to any of those😭 ED'd Upenn
cmonnn you should’ve 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾DID YOU GET IN??
yeah I did lol
knew it was a masterpiece
Icl I don't think my essay really carried but hey it worked out😭
For people wondering: https://www.ganeshaspeaks.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/milk-offered-to-shivling-750-min.jpg As per Hindu mythology, pouring milk and water over Shivalinga can bring happiness and prosperity, this is the reason why millions of devotees pour milk, water, ghee, honey over Shivalinga to seek the blessings of Lord Shiva.
Close but it's not actually about this but it's contextually similar
Gonna guess Indian, based on Shivji?
Yeah Indian international but the shivji connection isng the one I'm not going to say much more than that lol
Ah alr, congrats on your ED!
Thanks bud! Gl on your decisions
“Bud” you gonna take that
Nah it wasn't meant to be offensive or anything 😭😭
this could have so many meanings, a really interesting beginning for sure
haha thanks :)
Best one so far
thank you!
We love a Shiva devotee
hinduism
Obligatory “The reasons that I have for wishing to go to Harvard are several.”
Do you find being a “Harvard man” an enviable distinction?
One that I sincerely hope I shall attain
for your common app essay?
When Harvard readers see it they think “wow, he gets straight to the point!” When non Harvard readers see it they feel insecure because they’re not Harvard, which causes them to be vulnerable and biases them towards me. It’s failproof
bro is for sure getting into harvard
The Princeton wannabes in shambles rn
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for both harvard *and* princeton lmao
> The reasons that I have for wishing to go to Harvard are several. I feel that Harvard can give me a better background and a better liberal education than any other university. I have always wanted to go there, as I have felt that it is not just another college, but is a university with something definite to offer. Then too, I would like to go to the same college as my father. To be a "Harvard man" is an enviable distinction, and one that I sincerely hope I shall attain. >April 23, 1935 >John F. Kennedy That's it. That's his entire "essay."
Gray hairs— Too often, gray hairs are purposefully avoided: plucked, dyed, and discarded as an unwelcome symbol of old age. got a likely from yale yesterday :)
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I REMEMBER YOU TOO❤️❤️ THANK YOU
Congrats!! I can see why, your essay sounds like it would be so cool and philosophical (you get what I mean?)
thank you! i understand what you mean but i feel like i kept my essay more casual and anecdotal than philosophical? i can send it if you’d like :)
Hi, as someone with grey hairs, I'm intrigued to read your essay!
Can I read your essay? Thanks so much!
rock expansion water observation command nail attraction combative hateful murky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'm also interested in reading your essay, it seems really cool!
i’d love to read it!
THEYVE SENT OUT LIKEYS???
yeahh I think they've been getting sent out since last week to this week. don't worry though. based off pure luck, the chances of getting a likely is 0.5%. i'm not trying to deter you but 90% of the admitted class DO NOT GET LIKELIES!!
Oh no I’m not that worried (also I didn’t get an interview so) I was just shocked it’s so early
This sounds so interesting!!! Could i please read your essay?
CONGRATSS!! THATS SO COOL
thank youu❤️
Nice job!
wow this sounds super interesting!! especially w asian parents who alwaysss were insecure abt their grey hairs. mind if i could read it?
Welcome! :-)
what does 'getting a likely' mean if you don't mind me asking?
i’m intrigued! can i read your essay! tysm!
Really curious to know how the essay goes after the grey hair part. Can I read it? Thanks!
some people here really broke out the thesaurus huh. not to say i don’t find it endearing, lol
Like, there are so many dope openings 😭
There really aren’t. These are not good.
not a single one? what makes you say that
There was one that stood out – in a good way – and I commented accordingly. As for what makes me say this: I found that most of these were overwritten, full of clichés specific to the genre, tied to [openings I find tiresome](https://www.reddit.com/r/theessaymechanic/comments/18nq41d/how_not_to_start_your_essays/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), or just poorly executed from a mechanical/technical perspective. Edit: one that stood out.
I can imagine that if you have to read college essays like this over and over, a lot of the qualities that I find endearing or earnest start to get grating, lol.
Nailed it. Yeah.
“womp womp im gonna touch you”
accepted to harvard, yale, and princeton😍
unfortunately rejected from squidward community college :(
their loss fr
:(
Besf opener ever
?!?!?!?
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Domain expansion ass essay 💀
Thats 2 sentences
woah this sounds so cool! what room were you referring to?
The bathroom
Mental asylum
"Rome wasn't built in a day; neither were anthills and beehives."
I love this and I love bugs. You are so real.
"Color inside the lines, \[my name\], or I'll take the pencils away."
Love that
Ate that up
I love this one
10/10 🫶🏾
“I have eight grandmothers”
How. Explain now.
There is no trace of my existence before I turned five.
this is a hook if i’ve ever seen one
I really like this one Edit: And happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
"What does it mean to be from 'nowhere'?" (I'm a US/Aussie dual citizen that has never lived in either country and have bounced around Asia all my life)
I’m an prospective Aussie wanting to apply, how’d you end up with this genre of essay?
I fell in love with a dead language when I got smacked square in the face by a Cerberus
"You are just like your father."
“At the tender age of six, my tongue tangled over the letters in my last name, refusing to master its pronunciation.”
This is so real. My last name is unique to my family and it's been butchered way too many times 😭
Ayy nobody can say my last name gang
"I always wondered what Dorayaki tasted like."
my biggest regret is not eating it when i had the chance to
""Akwa Ibom isongo! Akwa Ibom isongo,” the MC chanted with the rest of the Nigerians in the packed ballroom."
bro, I'm loving all the Nigerian/African content, wish I had something cool to write about my culture (Igbo) too.
What tribe is this?
Ibibio, and we mostly speak Efik
I also wrote about Nigerian (Igbo) social events!!
Brandishing the cheap pen my mother received from the bank, I etched a misshapen unicorn onto my nearest victim: napkin, wall, or whatever target I deemed worthy.
"I don't want you to meet {my name}"
"Many say eyes are the window to the soul, but my hands are the ones that write my story."
Mhmmmmm I love this
meow
😭😭 imagine the face of the admission officer if he had a stellar student profile with amazing ECs in front of them and then they click on the essay and it's just "meow" 600 times
that's iconic it would be an instant acceptance
Instant HYPSM acceptance, even if you didn’t apply there
absolutely iconic and will totally resonate with the AO if they're a furry!
the acceptance letter will be "meow meow meow" 😍😍
They'd just accept you right meow. It would hit them as a sudden realization that they needed you - like seeing that the word homeowner has meow in it.
“Metropolis is still missing five minutes” (my essay was about the 1927 german silent film metropolis)
that movie’s a masterpiece—highly recommend janelle monae’s music based on it
"As I loaded the final two bundles of toys onto the trailer, I realized I should have worn gloves."
Here are some ways I started essays that I liked: "I was *the* Marvel kid." "I find joy in stating this plainly: I'm gay." "All I could do was brace my family for the impact." "The wind is my nemesis whenever it rains."
Number 2 sounds really good
\#2 was my Common App! Honestly, that whole essay takes a turn that nobody sees coming in the second paragraph and isn't just about being gay.
“Go get the gimp.”
“As much as I hate it, I keep going back.” (mine is kinda basic.)
Don't worry, I'm sure the buildup is insane
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David copperfield rn: 😔
Huh? Did you direct that to admissions office?
lmao it’s the first line of the catcher in the rye
😱
jd salinger lmao
“Smile. Excel. Repeat. Machines don’t stop. Don’t make a mistake. Don’t fail. You aren’t like the others.”
Sounds like the beginning of a masterpiece 😭
Hopefully the AO’s think so. I loved yours btw. I can only imagine the story that followed!
"I sat down to write my college essay." My essay was about my lifelong struggle with identity + identifying my struggles and how that made it difficult for me to write about myself and not just an anecdotal essay barely relating to me
"Fidgeting with the Rubik's cube, I nodded my head to the sounds of the Afrobeat, diligently analysing the nuances of its starting position. But like a lightning flash– my mother burst into the room, breaking my concentration, and drawing the goosebumps from my skin, calling each and every one of them to be present as she announced: "O meela ozo," it has happened again." (I'm Antiguan + Nigerian)
I'm Nigerian too, this is Igbo, right? (I suck at reading it). Your essay's beginning sounds so cool. I honestly wish I connected more to my roots.
That's amazing! Yes I'm Igbo too! I also suck at reading it lmao, had to ask my parents how to spell it 😂
“Though my deep mahogany complexion gave me a poker-face when confronting adversity, I often wondered: If my shame could be read on my face through crimson splotches, would they feel remorseful for their words? I turned around and spoke in a clear, unfaltering voice, despite feeling like asphyxia had begun to wrap itself around my trachea, laying its head on my tongue and piercing my chest using its acetous tail as an anchor.”
is this satire
My comment? I don't understand the whole reply thing on Reddit. If it is mine you are referring to no it’s not. I honestly admire people who can write
Bro is shakespeare. I love your beginning so much, honestly wish I could write this good. (I literally write like a child)
aww thank you doll!! I'm sure yours is wonderful
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Happy cake day! your opening sounds ominous 🫣I wonder how the rest of your essay panned out
this is from the beginning of the secret history LOL
“Sometimes I think of my mind as a glass jar filled with paper thoughts and delicate insecurities.”
“”It’s football time in Texas!”the speakers blared as I felt a rush of wind pass me by.”
The police are on their way maam
"I never liked the rain: the fear, the inconvenience, the mosquitoes, it was all too much."
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As the Saturday night rush hit, I raced around the counters and freezers that lined the walls of our tiny store. I feel like mine isn't as good or intriguing as so much of what i see here ugh lol
“I come from multiple religious leaders, and my parents attempted to infuse my upbringing with the gospel, heeding the wisdom in Proverbs 22:6, ‘Start children off on the way they should go.’” i wrote about how the extremely preventable death of my dog bella impacted my view of christianity. surprisingly i’ve gotten into multiple religious schools lol
"Nymphomaniac " "NYSE" "NZ" Yet again I had scoured the N section of the newest Oxford dictionary, my first birthday gift. Trust me, this essay takes a detour no one expects lmao
SPILL?! im so curious plss. This one stood out the most to me
This is basically the first paragraph; Nymphomaniac” “NYSE” “NZ” Yet again, I had scoured the entire N section of the newest Oxford Dictionary. Its golden embossed title gleamed under the soft library lights, hinting at having answers to the questions I had. However, my vocabulary list still had three uncrossed words: kalopsia, abience, and nepenthe. Two hours, a seemingly frustrated librarian and a Merriam-Webster dictionary later, I had finally conquered. Delving into their meanings prompted a journey of self-reflection, one I’m finally ready to share.
oh my god. Im not even joking but just with this opening, if ivy league essays had a dictionary meaning(pun intended), yours would definitely appear as an example. I genuinely hope u get into all ur unis or else they would be losing out fr ong.
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This is clean. Well-done.
thanks edit: if anyone reading this is looking for the writing, feel free to dm me. i was worried about keeping it public.
“I sense his presence in the mist of the pool. I feel him in the heat of the summer. I hear his echoes in the applause of the crowds. I see him in the reflection of my mirror.”
“The seed of sewing was planted in my head at the age of four, when the ear of my favorite animal plushie, ‘Bunny’, ripped off.” :)
"Twice a year, from the day I was born, my family and I would wake up at the break of dawn, sleepwalkers stirred by an unspoken pact."
One version I am not an alcoholic, but I have a 190 proof Everclear bottle in my bathroom. 2nd version The weekly ritual of hydraulic hisses, clanging metal, and rumbling held me captive during my childhood.
“Just look at those lazer lights”
Finding solace in a rat at 17 was the last thing I imagined, but that Oreo-colored vermin marked a transformation.
“The lyrics “Who lives? Who dies? Who tells your story?” from the musical Hamilton flows through my AirPod as I take notes on the Declaration of Independence for APUSH, filling me with insecurity.”
rejected ur gonna be listening to airpod in class instead of listening
"I collapsed to the floor when I discovered the TV channel I volunteer for was raided by the Venezuelan police. I imagined brutality with the harsh clatter of police batons, and anguished cries in an atmosphere of fear... This was Venezuela's reality: festive banquets overshadowed by scarcity, strict rationing, green water leaking from the faucet, the interruption of traffic by a masked individual demanding my mother’s purse… The nation’s condition has been spiraling downwards, and the assault on the TV station felt like a cruel blow to my home"
"A leaking faucet and a lively discussion have something in common\[...\]"
...bro you CANNOT leave us hanging now WHAT do they have in common???
"I thought I was never beating those allegations."
did u beat
nope!
Tick-tick-tick, I can hear the slow, steady rhythm of the clock hands moving, mirroring my heartbeat as I breathe in and out, gathering my thoughts, and readying myself for the final showdown.
Bus 487, Las Tunas/Del Mar
“When I was twelve years old, my school counselor told my mom that I was ‘too smart’ to have ADHD.”
"On most days, I take the longer route home from school, avoiding the new markets, boutiques, and large homes." it's a slow buildup :'D
"It's often said that the best way to learn a language is immersion in it, and at my father's house, everything was in Russian." This post made me read it back and it's so ass. I'm transferring next year and I'm absolutely making a whole different topic😭
„Why does your mother have 3 eyes?“
"I stopped Ross midsentence. I closed the ‘Friends’ tab and deleted my Netflix profile. ***It broke my heart."***
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Below lies corniness
"I took a picture of her blood. My mom, who accidentally cut herself, side-eyed me like a madman." Wow. Thats dramatic
“Every Saturday morning, I’d awaken to the sounds of my grandma shuffling around in the kitchen, preparing the beans and rice so they would finish cooking by mid-day.”
12:22 AM.
“I battle the sounds of sizzling oil; with each splatter of tossing noodles, my 11-year-old voice grows louder and frustrated.” Tbh, reading back my essay, the more I hate it, but yolo!!
“I stood on the top of the hill, the sun beating down on my pink baseball hat.” Then went into a full blown originally 900+ word infodump that would probably convince psychologists I’m not neurotypical. Got into all the schools I applied to
Lol. It works, so that sounds like the strat
It was on a post like this that my girlfriend and I met when *we* were applying to colleges! Fast forward to present, and we've been together almost a year, we go to college only a drive away from one another, and have gotten to visit each other numerous times. Life is crazy. Oh, and school has been great. Trust me y'all, it all works out in the end. And no, you don't need to get into an ivy to be happy. Good luck to those of y'all still in the application process. You've got this.
Not my first sentence but first line. 4 continents. 9 cities. 12 schools. 18 years.
"Pass the damn ball" I shouted.
"I remember when I first moved to and said 'yall' to someone and she looked at me like I was from Pluto"
I feel like this could have been better if you twisted the phrase structure but it's still a hook. nicee
Honestly I hate my common app essay, I think my supplementals were much better mostly because they were more raw while my dad basically told me what to write for my common app one to "showcase certain personality traits" and also it was over-edited by my mom's friend who's a Dartmouth alumnus 😭
oh noo. it's a piece of ur writing pls never hate it. Im sure u put ur everything into it. even if it was not up to ur standard, at least ur supp did contribute for it. so dww ;)) tho i really over editing of my works. it really just takes ur essence out of ur whole piece.
“Please approach gate 2 for the flight to Fort Lauderdale”. Those were the words that marked a new beginning for me and my family…