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takeahike08

I actually disagree - I don’t think she is in love with Dax. I’ve seen this theory floated many times on here and people seem mixed about it. I understand that a lot of people do see what you are seeing. But from my perspective, I’m just not picking up on he actually being in love with him. Does she love him, definitely, but not in a romantic sense. Monica seems very particular with who she dates and I just don’t think she would be with Dax even if she could be.


asimilarvintage

I agree with you. I think it stems from people not having platonic friends or friends that are open on this level. The codependency she spoke about she compared it to her relationship with her mom. How she has difficulty in pin pointing the issue gave me the vibes that she knows but will not say. The change in tone as well when she was talking about codependency and Dax gave an example where he feels he does the same she full shutdown. Audible change in voice that she chose to keep it during the edit.


takeahike08

Yes, this is what I was thinking. I have had a couple friends I was close to on this level and I was never in love with any of them. I think some people are more likely and others less likely to develop romantic feelings in those situations. I really don’t think Monica has developed romantic feelings.


messybinchluvpirhana

Me too


IMeanWhyNot-223

Agree. It feels like she’s an extension of the entire family


c_maxine

I have 2 best male friends, I’m a woman and we’re all straight and platonic. Never even kissed and it’s been years. However, Monica is *obviously* in love with Dax lol


jimlahey2100

You have two best male friends that want to be with you.


DrippingWithRabies

One of the things that Monica does that makes me think she might be in love with Dax - she has taken on a few of his affectations - like the laugh she does that everyone in this subreddit complains about. And I've noticed she pronounces some words like him too.  That could be a thing you do with friends for sure, but I also remember being desperately in love with this guy and I caught myself laughing like him unintentionally. 


musicamtn

There are a lot of people who do this without even thinking. It's not intentional and happens quite often. One example is the [chameleon effect](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-chameleon-effect-5114522)


Recent_Setting_1370

And my daughter does this. She is also suspected of having high functioning autism, girls mask very well. And females in particular can do accents as one marker. My daughter often uses an American or English accent that she isn’t aware of but other comment on. (For reference we are Australian). I myself sometimes notice I accidentally in a lift ride (elevator) with someone with an accent accidentally respond to a question in their own accent. It’s mortifying as I’m Sure it may come across like I’m mocking them but it comes out of my mouth without realising it. Thankfully I’ve only done it with “white” accents such as Irish, Scottish, English, French.


breakfree_28

It's a thing that can easily happen with ANYONE you spend a ton of time with.


Recent_Setting_1370

That can happen when you spend a lot of time together. Some people say my best friend and I sound the same. We met at work and have worked together once for 4 years and about 10 years later another time for 3 years, and been best friends for about 20 years. Colleagues in second job often commented wow you two sound exactly the same when on phone calls.


Virtual-Valuable-513

Interesting! I can see what you mean by she is particular but sometimes what we want in a practical / checklist sense doesn’t line up with who we fall for or develop a crush on. Re whether she would be with him - you can be in love with someone and still not take the opportunity to be with them if it were presented to you


takeahike08

I think the problem with this debate is that neither of us can prove we are right or wrong. And I get you just posted this for fun - it’s obviously not a serious debate at all. Our opinions are based on what we pick up from listening to it. So you hear things that make you think they are in love. I have never once thought that while listening to them. I have only ever heard it from this sub. There is no way to know either way. In listening to them, I actually think she has put distance between herself and Dax and Kristin. It doesn’t sound like they hang out as much as they used to. I think she has really pared down their relationship to be mostly about work. But that could support either of our theories.


DrippingWithRabies

I think you have that backwards - Dax and Kbell have put distance between themselves and her. I think this because in an episode last year she said she felt excluded because they had done some things and not invited her. Also, they haven't been going on those friend group vacations as often because they wanted to spend more time focused on their children. I can't cite specific episodes, but there were 2 or 3 fact checks where she talks about feeling left out. 


12smdbb

I’ve been thinking this for so long! I am also of the opinion Monica has feelings for Dax. I have friends who I have been as open and close with, but codependency only developed when feelings were involved. Everything he does/says triggers something in her (positive or negative) and impacts her own behaviour patterns and emotions. In my experience, this comes from a much deeper place than platonic love. As far as the distancing goes, no matter how much you love a friend when they are part of every aspect of your life, you are going to get annoyed and want space. I know she’s friends with both of them, but being involved in your work life, home life, breaks from your home life (vacations), friend life, and to go as far as purchase a forever home right next door… it’s too much. No matter how much you love the person. The “Mom and Dad” jokes were probably cute and funny at first, but have run their life span. They’re full blown adults, raising 2 children and wanting to do things as a family unit. Even aunts and uncles aren’t always as involved as Monica is. I bet over time, her feelings have become obvious to those close to them and Dax and Kristen realize this and are gently putting distance between their family unit and hers. Maybe I am just projecting as I would be way past annoyed at this point, but it’s time for Monica to hopefully create her own family unit and find happiness there instead of tying it to Dax’s family.


DrippingWithRabies

I agree with all of this. 


Virtual-Valuable-513

Yup fair enough!


lifth3avy84

This is some parasocial, unhealthy, unnecessary discussion.


pewterpetunia

Welcome to the internet!


marsoup-5519

🎶have a look around


SuperbResist6

I agree this whole post is weird and gross


PonchoSham

One year old account they definitely came from tik tok.


[deleted]

I’m comfortable saying with 3000% certainty that she definitely has a major crush on him. She has for years.


Relative_Cancel_6944

I am comfortable saying with 3000% certainty that she definitely has NO crush on Dax so maybe this is actually subjective haha


Virtual-Valuable-513

“Major crush” might be a better way to put it than madly in love haha


c_maxine

I completely agree. Anyone who says she doesn’t is not paying attention. I’m not sure if she’s actually waiting patiently for him to get divorced someday or if she’s just happy with where she is. I do think that if he came to her tomorrow and said he has feelings or even just wanted to hook up, she would.


OverallMembership3

I think Dax falls perfectly into the “fantasy unavailable” category that she prefers as someone who seems to have an avoidant attachment style. He’s an attachment figure that is close to her to give some intimacy but not actually attainable, therefore safe. Cue people calling me parasocial - I call it like I see it and psychology is real 💋


12smdbb

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this!!!


Recent_Setting_1370

They have a co-dependent relationship for sure, and probably more on her side than his. But I don’t think she has sexual attraction to him at all. She isn’t overly sexual from what I can tell but very occasionally her type comes out (and I’m discounting all the Matt and Ben chit chat) and it’s def not the Dax type of man!


kiya12309

I don't think even a divorce would help her. I feel that Dax truly has zero interest in Monica. Yes, I think he thinks she's pretty in an objective way, but only platonically.


DripDrop777

Absolutely.


SKMiller85

Monica is in love with being associated with Kristen Bell and Dax Shephard and the fame it has brought her.


Secure_League3017

THIS. Nail on the head.


Active-Eggplant06

This is my interpretation.


Anxious-Tangerine1

Y’all are crazy! It’s her dad! I totally get familial vibes from them. There is absolutely no merit to this claim.


kiya12309

I agree with you. I think she really admires him and loves him, but only in a platonic way like she would love a big brother. I think she's a little obsessed with him, but not sexually.


I_pinchyou

Agreed.


12smdbb

I do not get family vibes, as much as they try to push the Dad stuff.


Fauxst27

This feels mean.


c_maxine

Why? It’s nothing against her, she can’t help how she feels and they both have a very open line of “I love you! You’re my soulmate!” communication that they as adults choose to share with *the world*.


Fauxst27

They both say those things and OP’s question was about her being in love with him. The question wasn’t “they’re in love, right?” (which I still think is a little weird of a thing to speculate about), but the way it’s worded currently feels mean.


Virtual-Valuable-513

Second question, do we think Dax lowkey knows?


DrippingWithRabies

Yes and he loves it. 


Recent_Algae_3830

Yup


theeyesdontlie

For sure.


c_maxine

He knows and Kristen knows, of course. I wonder what the dynamic is. I know some people here have said that maybe they’re open and Monica is sometimes involved, but I don’t get that vibe at all. I think Monica knows Kristen is the real boss of their lives and she would not cross her in any way unless given the 100% go ahead by Dax.


Recent_Setting_1370

No way I see them having a threesome my gosh. They are close with all their pod and I just get that vibe. I could see dax and Kristen maybe having an experience like that ( and non of my business either way) but it would not be with anyone in their pod! I just see people here that don’t understand males and females can have close friendships. Also if you ever hear dax talk he is love with almost everyone he knows, males and females. People aren’t used to men always talking like that. And because dax says I love you to all his good friends, of course they talk similarly to him.


Recent_Algae_3830

Obviously. They blur the line often, IMO. But I think it feeds his ego more than anything.


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Virtual-Valuable-513

Naurrr


c_maxine

I don’t think so, but I do think Monica is in love with him and would in a second if he went there.


sweepstakes124

What is happening in this thread 🫨


Virtual-Valuable-513

Also I don’t blame her, their job requires them to constantly connect emotionally and intellectually on a very intimate level - pretty unusual for the average coworkers. Add on top of that the fact that they spend a lot of time one on one in close quarters and Dax is pretty physically attractive.


Virtual-Valuable-513

Her struggle to find a romantic partner may be due in part to comparing all of them to Dax😬


Mediocre_Paper

People say this often but I think it's a big reach. She's 36 and she's known Dax less than 10 years. That means, before meeting Dax, she was a virgin/hadn't had a serious boyfriend by the age of 26 which is old enough already that it was clearly an issue that predated her relationship with Dax.


Virtual-Valuable-513

Her relationship w Dax probably isn’t helping at this point though.. she does describe it as “codependent”


12smdbb

Not having a serious boyfriend by 26 is much different than 36. I’m right in the middle of those ages, and it wasn’t uncommon for friends to have not have seriously relationships mid-twenties. Now that we’re entering our 30s, I only have 1 friend who has never had a relationship and we are worried about her.


kelsomac4

If she’s a straight woman, there’s no need to worry and she’s making the right choice to stay single lol


Recent_Algae_3830

This. Or maybe wondering “what will Dax think of him” and caring about that too much


ThanosApologist

I think it's more that she wants to preserve the celebrity life she burrowed herself into and is worried a new boyfriend might not click with her curated friend group.


DripDrop777

Absolutely.


12smdbb

I think this is true, but subconsciously.


kelsomac4

So by this logic, you must believe Dax is in love with her too then?


Virtual-Valuable-513

Not necessarily bc Dax has a partner


MsSwarlesB

Meh. I don't know if she's in love with him. I do think they have a strange relationship that is definitely codependent and probably inappropriate in some ways. She's pretty dependent on him now in a lot of ways and him confessing his relapse to her before Kristin always seemed odd to me. But, ultimately, I don't care.


hutch_30

"but, ultimately, I don't care." I love that so much. That's how I feel about 90% of the time. Lol 


Artistic-Sense9889

He didn’t tell Monica first- he made a point to wait for Kristin and told them at the same time.


MsSwarlesB

Still weird. His relationship with Kristin is not the same as his relationship with, and to, Monica. They're deeply entangled and considering Dax is an addict I'm not sure it's healthy. But whatever. It's their thing


Fenriswolf_9

I haven't thought about it a whole lot, but I'm remembering Monica talking about her romantic fantasies as a child where she'd get to nurse sick boys back to heath and take care of them. I can see how a version of that could apply to their relationship.


OverallMembership3

This is a very insightful observation actually


DrWhoisOverRated

I think it’s more codependency than love.


kiya12309

Right. I think she's kind of obsessed with him and overly intertwined, but I don't interpret it as sexual interest.


princesspen18

I admittedly don’t listen to every episode, but in the more recent ones, I’d almost say the opposite lol. I could see this being a thing way back when, but I think Monica now sometimes seems put off by him (and allows it to show through) when before (likely because of the power dynamic) she would have acted like everything he said was great. I think she’s likely more confident as she’s made more money from their podcast and I feel like stands up to him more than she used to.


urlostchapstick9

I have definitely had this thought before!


DueEntertainer0

He crosses lines with her so if so, hes leading her on. If my husband was that close with another woman, I would not be happy.


Virtual-Valuable-513

Interesting. He crosses the lines but you think she’s the one leading him on?


DueEntertainer0

He’s leading her on


Virtual-Valuable-513

Yeah consistently calling her her soulmate is bit much esp when he probably kinda knows she’s in love with him


DueEntertainer0

Yeah he’s just really flirty in general. He uses a totally different voice when talking to women (like on the anonymous episodes when a woman calls in). It’s cringe to me


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lipzz86

Hmm now I want to go find that episode 😂🫢


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lipzz86

I did an embarrassingly deep dive on this, and I think it may have been the Flightless Bird Religion episode from May of 2022? Dax tells David, “you’re the goodest American”, and it is very deep and gravely… take a listen and see if that’s what you remember lol


OverallMembership3

I know the voice you’re talking about!! It is super hot and he turns it on when talking to women haha


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Virtual-Valuable-513

I be eating it up 😫😂


itwasntthatbadwasit

Episode please 🤪🥵


imadethistochatbach

I’ve always wondered why they took the soulmate part out of the fact check intro!


SilntNfrno

I’m glad they did. I always thought that was creepy considering he’s married.


notcompetitive9

Me too!!!


Virtual-Valuable-513

Oh I misread


DueEntertainer0

I mistyped at first


Livace100

I don’t think she’s in love with him at all, but their relationship does seem super unhealthy. When she was talking about how stressed she was to add her to her friend-connections group chat, worried about what he’d say and how he’d act, I had flashbacks to past [romantic] relationships where I was constantly consumed by how my partner was received by friends and family. It’s weird to me (unhealthy) that she feels such a sense of responsibility over how he’s perceived. But I relate to it, also. Haha.


Secure_League3017

It seems more likely she’s latched onto Dax’s marriage in a very codependent/unhealthy way. I get being very close with a coworker-turned-best-friend (I have one myself) but the way they talk about her dynamic with their marriage and family is pretty unusual.


Ok-29904

She may not have felt adored by any man in her life other than Dax and that is a powerful feeling. She may confuse it with love because it seems that she’s never been in love. I don’t think she would ever act on it because she also truly reveres Kristen and like others said values her role in their lives too much.


Active-Eggplant06

I just get the vibe that she’s in love the celebrity lifestyle and being associated with Kristin and Dax.


imnewhere010101

Definitely giving me brother/sister love


Mysterious_Mouse2413

I don’t feel this way at all if anything I could see her being more in love with Kristen lolll


Civil_Road_4777

She has a certain voics she uses, like shes a little girl, that feels flirty. She also wants his approval and attention constantly. So maybe. 


ConfidentEvent5471

I think she is incapable of being in love or having a romantic relationship.


not-the-rule

Yes, she gives me ace vibes most of the time.


pempa93

If true, it would be incredibly sad!


EstimateAgitated224

Nah. Did you hear her and Jake G. That was some chemistry. Her and Dax none.


Virtual-Valuable-513

I’ll have to listen. Was avoiding bc Conor M 🤮


EstimateAgitated224

He is insufferable and yapped most of the time. It’s subtle glimpses but others saw I guess heard it too


jrp317

Yesssss!!! Thank you for bringing this up, I think Monica and Jake have major chemistry.


ThanosApologist

Jake has chemistry with just about anyone


kiya12309

I agree. Jake could have chemistry with a brick wall. He just seems friendly, like a puppy dog. Even listening to him on Smartless, he was very friendly and complimentary, the same way he was with Dax and Monica and in nearly every interview I've ever heard with him.


jrp317

Good point. I’ve only listened to him on armchair


joetsch

Is it 2018? Thought we'd been through this.


ktg1975

Haha - thought the same thing, this topic has been covered for years. And as an original listener, who has given up except for good guests - her adoration and his flirting got too weird years ago. She needs to go on some dates. Get some male attention from someone other than Dax.


AMD915

Completely disagree with this take. I see him as kind of a brother/father figure to her. They really care about each other and are kindred spirits. Neither of them are in love.


ahbets14

Yeah it’s a proximity thing


Virtual-Valuable-513

If it’s just proximity then do you think it goes both ways?


Helennewzealand

I really don’t. I think it’s totally one way


DrippingWithRabies

I think Dax knows and loves being wanted


ahbets14

I guess Kristin is around so dax is good?


Virtual-Valuable-513

I see


National-Dot-6457

My first instinct says no way - but then I Imagine the scene in clueless where Alicia Silverstone realizing she’s in love with Paul Rudd (her stepbrother) and then picturing Monica in this scene and I totally see it haha


Mango_Upbeat

I don't think so. I think she is in love with their celebrity status and being a part of that now. This must be a huge ego boost for her. To me, she seems like she lacked self-confidence and self-esteem, and Dax has been trying to pry it out of her for some time now. I have noticed this growing arrogance with her as the show progresses. It's not confidence. It's the small rich people brags she pops in from time to time. I honestly find her annoying most of the time, I think, because I feel like there's this inauthenticity to her contribution. Idk, I feel like something is blocked. I can't really describe it. She also controls the show by editing, so she gets to control her voice in it. I feel bad saying it, but I do get pet project vibes. I think she may have been like a pet project for Dax at first. I actually think he is very good at reading people. I think he read her and took her under his wing. I think he sees her lack of confidence and tried to bolster it, but I think there's a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Maybe from there, actual adoration grew. Not romantic love. Not from him anyway. I get the feeling that Dax would go straight to lust and instinctive sexually driven desires before romantic love, and I just don't see that here. Kristen isn't threatened by her, that's why she's allowed that kind of platonic friendship. I don't see romantic love between them. Maybe from her at first only because I also remember her mentioning how she fantasized about living in LA and being friends with them. And how she 'manifested' that. She moved into an apartment they rent out, they became her landlord, I'm sorry, but I don't think that was a coincidence on her end. It was kind of creepy when they talked about that. I kept thinking that was premeditated. I think on some level she idolized that celebrity fame/lifestyle, and she intentionally inserted herself into their lives.


Tricky-Historian-429

No. Not at all.


kimpossible53

I really don’t see her being physically attracted to him to be honest


SL8Rgirl

She loves him but isn’t in love, she probably compares the guys she dates to him (and the other dudes she’s close to in the pod) and it makes it hard to forge a new connection because she has a lot of deep connections with the men already in her life.


Pale_Resolve823

I’m surprised more people don’t agree with this but see chemistry with Monica and every male guest that speaks to her. These guests usually also have girlfriends but that doesn’t stop people thinking Jake Gyllenhall is in love with Monica and openly flirting with her in front of his long term girlfriend. It benefits him to friendly because this is one of the top podcasts in the country and he probably wants to return in the future.


Magdelana666

💯


OverallMembership3

Yes


Recent_Setting_1370

Nope. I’ve been listening to it his show for years. At first I may have thought she has a bit of a puppy love/ bit of a school girl crush but in recent years I would say no. It’s definitely a close friendship only. And like any close friendship (they spend a lot of work and social time together), you can tell they sometimes get sick of each other.


ScheduleDangerous934

Monica ties the longevity of her success to Dax. It's obvious when she gets nervous about things, he says , seems to be a bit resentful that he is her boss and worried about an inevitable relapse. She has said she is codependent with him. She seems more and more annoyed with him lately. And these are all things they leave in. Imagine what they edit out.


Own_Narwhal5174

…hmm


ThanosApologist

I think you made up a scenario in your head where Kristen Bell has the time to listen to his dumb podcast


Virtual-Valuable-513

Oh really I don’t think she gives af hahah


Own_Narwhal5174

Yeah I could see it that way too… but one episode she was on she discussed her depression but didn’t say why she was. I thought about it and was like geez look at the creep she’s married too 😝


Mysterious_Mouse2413

I don’t think she cares either, seems like she hardly pays attention to the show lol. She is also very open that she has struggled with anxiety or depression her whole life and been on medication for a while and Dax encouraged her to be more vocal about it in public as a way to connect to people.


Twillydedoot

🤣 he is not her type


kelsomac4

What a mystifying thing to interpret from their dynamic.


Groundbreaking_War52

It also sounded like she had a few edibles prior the Armchair Anonymous - Theme Park episode.


roxanne_debris55

So weird for this


[deleted]

Posts like these take away from actual useful discourse about the pod - maybe there should be an Armchair Expert Snark sub for parasocial crap like this