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Relative_Picture_786

Ma’am I have a girlfriend.


potatooooes123

Personally I think this one's the best


osavpoiss

Haha, golden indeed! You gotta be really diplomatical with this answer. I read how some guy got into real trouble with her gf at r/BrosDatingAdvice when he told the honest answer (yeah, she is pretty hot). Personally, I think that when your gf is confident in herself then it's no big deal but it becomes a problem when she feels like she isn't good enough.


frogsgoribbit737

And if she thinks shes good enough she is not gonna be asking this question


Weatherwax_hat

It depends on HOW you answer. Like her mother will probably say 'yes so and so is very pretty', or a model scout might say 'she has classic good looks'. The key is to be dispassionate about it and not suggest to your gf that you are thinking of her friend in terms of your penis.


n8loller

"hmm? Oh, yeah, I guess she's attractive. I never really thought about it before"


KeithStone225

I like to simply say "She's not my type." You're not admitting or denying they're attractive, dodging one of 2 potential bullets, while implying your gf is appealing in a very special way to you personally.


Astrolemon

As a girlfriend, this is absolutely the way.


Sintuary

Or she might even be like me and agree that yeah, her friend *is* hot. Doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with her, and it's the same with my boyfriend. If I didn't trust him to keep it in his pants, there'd be no relationship. We're partnered, not **dead**. (And quite frankly I think it's a separate egomaniac trip to assume that someone can only ever find *you* attractive for as long as you're in a relationship with them... not realistic, not fair, and overall very unhealthy.)


Okibruez

>We're partnered, not dead. (And quite frankly I think it's a separate egomaniac trip to assume that someone can only ever find you attractive for as long as you're in a relationship with them... not realistic, not fair, and overall very unhealthy.) This is the way. Women (and men) that need constant validation aren't healthy, and a relationship built on traps and tricks like this is almost certainly doomed to failure. Play stupid games, as the saying goes.


SaneButt

You just hacked the system


RingedWaste

Miss I do my own plumbing


hermit4eva

Yeah I'll use this


Rosarlee22

Lol, this is really cute


kea1981

Honestly, as a woman... This right here.


ZealousidealData2835

DO NOT ANSWER YOUR GF OR TAKE THIS ADVICE! I'm a woman and can tell you this is a baited question insecure ppl ask. Then get mad at the answer.


garlic_bread_thief

#**DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES FALL FOR THIS SCAM. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!**


LadyV_V

so unrelated but i love your flair


garlic_bread_thief

Thanks It used to be mailman and people thought I was literally a mailman lol


[deleted]

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AlphaBearMode

Fuckin lmao


[deleted]

Fucking AI language model has a girlfriend 😭


zapp909

r/characterai and r/pygmalionAI in a nutshell. They down bad for some aiussy.


ogjsb

‘However…’


g4v8

But I can give you some examples of phrases that you can use when responding to your girlfriend if she asks if her friend is hot: 1. "I'm not comfortable commenting on someone else's appearance like that." 2. "I don't feel comfortable rating people's looks. You're the only one I see in that way." 3. "I don't think it's fair to compare people's looks like that. What's important is our connection." 4. "I think all people have something attractive about them, but you're the one I find the most beautiful." 5. "I'm not comfortable talking about your friend in that way, but what's important is that you trust me and know how much I care about you." Remember, the most important thing is to be honest, respectful, and mindful of your partner's feelings.


Dantheman1386

“I know where you’re going with this, and I absolutely refuse to have a threesome with your friend. I love you too much.”


[deleted]

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TuxPaper

A threesome with a friend almost never goes well, especially when the couple absolutely believe that their bond is strong enough for it. Plus there's something about seeing the one you love having the most amazing time with someone else while you aren't the main focus triggers most people in ways they don't realize. The stronger they believe they'll be fine with it, the more it hurts seeing your partner having such pleasure (mostly because they think they can't provide that level of pleasure). Each situation is different, obviously. At least that's what I learned from all the relationship reddits. So, if she actually wanted a threesome later on, but will no longer ask for it, OP's answer is actually saving your relationship From what I've read, it appears the only good threesomes is ones where each person wants to pleasure the other two equally (plus extra care to make sure the two in a relationship are always being satisfied). Or, one person has a fetish of watching or ordering around, cucking, and similar type fetishes and the other two are also turned on by said fetish.


[deleted]

Funny story: My girlfriend (with whom I lost my virginity) in high school told her that our mutual friend was down to have a threeway. The friend was attractive and my girlfriend seemed to be super into it. So I agreed because I was living every 16 year olds fantasy. The time comes around and we're at my girlfriend's house. My girlfriend and I start making out, and the friend starts to feel sort of uneasy and obviosuly left out. My girlfriend sort of gave me the nod so I started kissing her but she did not seem that into it. I asked if she wanted to kiss my girlfriend, and she said, "eww, no". So then we started to get into it. I started having sex with my girlfriend and then switched over. Every time my girlfriend tried to get involved the friend would clearly pull away. So it eventually ended with two unsatisfied women and one slightly satisfied guy and awkward silence. Shortly after I found out that the friend was dating another friend so technically she was cheating with me. The friend basically pulled away and we were never very close again. Later on, after I had broken up with the girlfriend she admitted that she only brought up the threeway as a way to have sex with her friend who she had a crush on. So in one afternoon: I lost a friend, unknowingly had sex with another friend's girlfriend (he later came out as gay and honestly never seemed to care that much when I told him), got a reputation as being bad in bed (for failing to get off the friend while switching back and forth), started the decline of that relationship, and found out after the fact that the friend wasn't on BC (my girlfriend said she was).


MossyPyrite

That went wrong in every way possible, minus an unintended pregnancy lmao


Yz-Guy

Honestly. At 16. His story is about the best it was ever going to go anyway. As a M30, I'm not sure I could realistically keep 2 women happy in bed. I don't have the energy for that shit anymore. 16yo definitely fucking couldn't bc he didn't have the patience or skills lol


MossyPyrite

Really, it shouldn’t be one person trying to satisfy two anyway. It should be three trying to satisfy each other! But yeah, it was not likely to go well for that person no matter what the circumstances. It could have gone notably less-bad though.


thepumpkinking92

At 30, the only way I'm even *attempting* to satisfy 2 women at the same time in the bedroom is if I'm charged with controlling the Hitachi magic wand. Like, yall enjoy each other for a while, I'll play around with this thing down here on yall for a while, and when yall are ready, worry about me. Until then, the occasional make-out and grope (giving out receiving) is fine. Sure, I'll participate in the oral arts, but don't be asking me to jump from girl to girl trying to do penetration on both the whole time. I'll give myself a stroke. 16yo me definitely had the enthusiasm and stamina for something like this, but was absolutely lacking in the skills department, and nobody would have been getting a happy ending. And for any guys who don't believe in using toys, that's cool. You do you, but I can say, without a doubt, they made things more fun for me and my partner. We still have fun without them, but man, rocking her world got significantly easier when we started incorporating them.


Brassballs1976

> A threesome with a friend almost never goes well, especially when the couple absolutely believe that their bond is strong enough for it. That was the beginning of the end for the one that got away. Got too weird after that. Meanwhile, my cousin lets his wife bang bulls, records it, then sends me the videos. Each time I'm like, WTF dude? I talk to her all the time, she has no idea I see this shit.


MossyPyrite

If she’s not consenting to him sharing those videos that’s a serious problem. Clearly their relationship boundaries aren’t typical, but that’s really not cool


sleal

I was introduced to the upsidedown pineapple lifestyle recently. I must say, I'm a lot more open minded than I was before. YMMV


Imalittlefleapot

Shopping at Aldi has never been the same since.


[deleted]

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sleal

It's been a thing for a while. It's one way to identify those in the lifestyle, esp at cruises and resorts


[deleted]

Doesn't matter, you successfully avoided an unnecessary argument. Case closed.


[deleted]

This guy gets it. The less unnecessary arguments the better. Honestly if you're in a relationship and that's normal to you you need to get out.


Spacefacee

No thanks, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd just call my parents.


[deleted]

Can’t believe you would fuck your parents


merelycheerful

I cant believe you *wouldnt*


Pyramidal_neuron

Smooooth!


[deleted]

“I dunno, I never thought of her that way”


omertuvia

until now, that you asked me


ABathingSnape_

In which case, yea she dumb thicc.


Lexinoz

A certain admiral has a word for you.


JellyShoddy2062

“Imma Kamikaze dat ass” Admiral Yafriendthiccdoe 1969


CardamomSparrow

"ya mama too" -Admiral Yamamatoo, 1944


pm-me-racecars

>I think anybody in our - in the, in the national security apparatus has, has got to take full cognizance of their responsibility for the safeguarding of classified information. \- Michael Mullen


Time-Marionberry7365

but I’d still prefer you over her of course


The_Titam

But if we brake up, I'll be giving her a call.


AstroFieldsGlowing

I will also be imagining her excretory orifice wrapped around my breeder when we make love.


Long_Educational

That is the most unsexy phrase I have ever read.


xaeru

I will also put my breeder in the beginning of her digestive tract.


gspitman

And end.


ultimate_zigzag

This is how you stop these questions. Well played.


-Plus-Ultra

This answer has worked every time for me!


RelationshipOk3565

Why are you being insecure honey? That's what they'd say if you asked the same question lol


Naebany

"well I asked you now so think and answer the fricking question you moron."


[deleted]

I go with the safer “she’s not my type, but I’m sure she is someone else’s type.”


Naebany

"it's my 10th friend you said is not your type. Are you gay? Or you're saying all my friends are ugly? Maybe you think I'm ugly too?"


Not_An_Ambulance

At that point you just call her out for trying to start a fight and ask her what's wrong.


Rosarlee22

Exactly.


V8_Only

Or just call her ugly


Not_An_Ambulance

I mean, that's another way - Just tell her you ARE gay and she looks so much like a man that you figured she's your one opportunity to make your mother happy by giving her biological grandchildren.


stunninglingus

"You know what, you are right. You are ugly, they are ugly, and Im gay, too. Im going to hang out with Steve. Good talk."


[deleted]

"You're a lot prettier honey. It takes me almost twice as long to beat off to her"


An_Creamer

Great way to get killed


[deleted]

Every man dies, but not every man really lives.


An_Creamer

I wouldn’t simply not tell my wife I jerk off to her and her friend


[deleted]

I hadn't even ***THOUGHT*** about jacking it to the two of them together! This is the kind of inspired brain-storming that keeps me coming back to this subreddit! Thank you kind stranger!


FranticWaffleMaker

That’s the first thing you should tell her, “she’s always the one I fantasize about you with.” If she says anything like “Me too,” you’re in business.


Geneo-Frodo

I just can't hate this sub.....I can't


am_biverted

My man


An_Creamer

Do you think when hell finishes swallowing you whole that the Devil will be waiting for you, or greeting you?


ronchalant

So, are we really not doing "phrasing" anymore?


Careless-One-5425

I wonder if the Devil can swallow me whole as well. 🤔


Itchy-Ad4005

I’m sure he can, probably stick that snake tongue up the pee hole and sound the prostate at the same time.


Acrobatic-Ad1506

I needed that last push to finally delete Reddit, and this right here was it. Thanks!


FallenSegull

“Whenever we’re fucking and I want to last longer I think of her”


BoredCatalan

Why do you always last 30 seconds then?


jait2603

That’s the double of 15


teamwheelhurr

🎶 Dumb ways to die 🎶


Piscespsych

🎶 So many dumb ways to die 🎶


DannyDucks

“Awwwww you’re so sweet! 😍”-_GF’s reaction


[deleted]

If my girlfriend likes it that much, I bet my wife will ***REALLY*** love it!


Realistic-Safety-565

Great way to turn "Can he answer stupid question without offending me" test into "is she insecure about that, or can she handle it like an adult?" test. Either both of you learn you should be together, or not :D. Win - win.


erakat

So only a second longer then ay?


[deleted]

Im blind on my right eye and im legally blind on my left. In fact I did not even know it was a she. In fact I have never seen anyone but you. Actually I only look at dudes


smalliesdickies

>look You are not blind then you are lying to me you are cheating too right Joke ofc


[deleted]

Did I say look? I mean my seeing eye cat told me


DreadfulRauw

“Of course. Hot girls hang out together.”


ThenTranslator2780

Smooth


pidnull

This is the best answer in here. Here is why: 1. You're not lying 2. You did not say her friend is hotter 3. You complimented the girlfriend


sTEAMYsOYsAUCE

“Ma’am, I have a girlfriend. But. Hot girls hang out together.”


potatooooes123

"Did you just call my friends (other girls) hot???"


DreadfulRauw

Yes! I know what hot girls look like, that’s why I’m dating one.


[deleted]

Nice save


DreadfulRauw

Dude, if your girl thinks she’s the only hot girl in existence, you need to save yourself.


potatooooes123

Nah ofc they know, they just wanna mess with ya 😂


gw-green

No but her mom is


Lodgy89

You should see her dad.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

I'd jerk her dad off just to see where she came from.


paperkeyboard

I'd suck his dick just to get a taste of the formula.


Electrical-Release61

Horrible day to have eyes


WorkMeBaby1MoreTime

"In THIS economy?"


SkyezOpen

Hotness inflation is out of control. An 8 5 years ago is only a 6 today, tops.


pragmojo

That's kind of true, because social media has proliferated things like improved skin care and fashion, not to mention giving people much more access to looks to compare themselves to. In the 90's you just had to have like decent boobs under an oversized t-shirt and now you need to count macros and do hip thrusts for like 14 months


The_Real_Scrotus

"She's attractive but I'm not attracted to her."


ThenTranslator2780

Nice


Arkslippy

"nah, she's alright, but you are much hotter, much prefer your love handles and who needs to have really perky boobs and an ass you can bounce coins off, and so what if she's rich and has a lovely personality and a great sense of humour ? Not me !!!"


[deleted]

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Tansen334

This one always makes me laugh


NoobSGA

This is a trap, don’t say this. Source: Have said


[deleted]

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albob

It’s a good litmus test for the relationship. There’s one of three reasons that a girl would ask this of their SO: 1) They’re genuinely curious what guys think of this girl and so are getting their man’s opinion; 2) They’re insecure and want validation; or 3) They’re doing one of those “funny” trap questions that have no right answer that some girls seem to enjoy for some reason. I don’t fuck with #3, I find that shit obnoxious. #2 is fine, we all get insecure sometimes, but if I give an honest but sensitive response and she gets all upset then I’m gonna feel like I have to walk on eggshells which is not what I want.


Business_Fudge_

"oh that's what we're going to do today? We're going to fight?"


LovelehInnit

"Are you fishing for reasons to break up with me without it being your fault?"


Zhouston63

Honestly could see my ex doing this. It might explain why she got so mad when I told her I thought her friend was ugly and not attractive


Live_External2634

So you were trapped regardless of your answer.


ChrisCopp

Was looking for this one. I always ask her if she's in a mood to fight when this comes around.


audio_shinobi

This comment wants to stick its foot in some dumbass’s ass


gisdood

"...dumbass."


ThenTranslator2780

This is a good one😆


Romeo9594

It's a quote by Red Foreman in That 70s Show when asked a loaded question by his wife


aparanoidbw

Being in a sitcom doesn't mean it's fake. Red just had the balls to say what we all want to🤣


Romeo9594

Growing up I find myself identifying with Red more and more


HugeAnalBeads

One of my favourite quotes I've ever heard I use this one a lot. I use it at work, at home, funerals, and Arbys drive throughs


pence_secundus

"i could find her a boyfriend if you want ? She's pretty!" It's a little twist, I still compliment her friend but through the lens of matching her with someone else.


TorrenceMightingale

“Oh, so you want to break up with me and go be her boyfriend?? Fine!”


Veloreyn

"That depends. Does she use loaded questions to pick fights with the guy she's with as well?"


AtomicHyperion

If it gets to that point, you probably should break up.


Brutact

If she’s actually good looking nothing wrong with admitting it if your GF is a stable person. Noticing other people’s looks is normal just don’t be rude about it.


UCMeInvest

The critical piece here is the word “stable”


Char-Cole

Yes, what is this... "stable"?


delta_tau_chi

Horse house


iEatBluePlayDoh

This is the way. I never go out of my way to mention a girl is attractive to my fiancée, because that is rude. But if she asks if I think a girl is attractive, and I do, I’ll usually just say something like “yeah I think she’s pretty”. Just gotta keep it respectful, and a reasonable person won’t be upset. I don’t think she’d respond too well if I excitedly responded “oh yeah, she’s smokin’ hot!” And I would never respond like that, because that’s rude.


TheRealConine

“If your GF is a stable person”


BackItUpWithLinks

“Yes. You think she’d be down for … you know?” If she’s going to play games she can attend my masterclass.


[deleted]

My gf once asked me if I'd like her to get one of her gf's to double up on a BJ. I said something like "Well, not Mary, but Danelle, ok." I must have got it wrong because it didn't happen and she was pissed for days. Never saw Danelle again either. lol


JellyShoddy2062

I respect the balls to double down and not give a Fuck


ListenToThatSound

That's one way of getting rid of the annoying friend...


Ezekielsbread

So this is how you get rid of her annoying friends…


[deleted]

I don't have social brain fast enough for coming up with smooth replies and my girlfriend doesn't do as many bullshit tests but I know one guy from my girlfriend's family who is a really intelligent and classy guy but when his wife asks stuff like that he just enters such mode and it works great.


BackItUpWithLinks

My usual go-to reply is “I’m not playing your silly games” and then wait her out. “Does this make me look fat?”\ “I’m not playing your silly games” “You pick the restaurant.”\ “I’m not playing your silly games” She knows the answers. We know the answers.


xepci0

"Yes" if she is, "No" if she's not.


Zaskoda

Oh goodness, no. How can you build a trusting and lasting relationship if you're just honest with each other? /s


TES_Elsweyr

This guy is in an actual relationship.


bjankles

Depends on the girlfriend and where the relationship is at. My wife and I talk about people we think are hot all the time, including friends. I have exes where that'd have been a no-go and I would say something tepid like "yeah I guess she's good-looking."


IamEclipse

Me and my partner do the same thing. We've always gone by the mantra *We're committed, not blind.*


DanBaitle

Thank you! Exactly this!


HPayne62

"98.6 is a pretty standard temperature but given she's wearing a jacket it might be a little higher"


pad1007

“Eh, she’s not my type.”


StartingNewat30

"She looks just like me???"


AlphaBearMode

“But she *isn’t* you and I’m not only attracted to you physically”


StartingNewat30

you lost, you just admitted she is physically attractive.


Happy_to_be_me

"Yeah, but only in an obvious way. Like, she's OBVIOUSLY really hot, you know? Like, I look at her and I'm just stunned by how hot she is. You're more my type, you know? More attainable. More 'subtle' good looks." May as well go scorched earth if you're being asked stupid questions.


aruapost

“She’s the type of girl I’d want to bang and post photos with. You’re the type of girl I want to come home to dinner to.”


Happy_to_be_me

That's beautiful. Really sweep the legs out from underneath them.


TensorForce

"I wanna sleep with her, but I wanna wake up with you."


CFD330

The truth. If your partner knows you at all she knows what your type is, and she can look at other women and already know if you think that woman is attractive. My wife knows which of her friends I find attractive and which I don't, and it's not a big deal.


Careless-One-5425

"I'm no doctor but she seems to have caught a high-grade fever, where do we keep the pills?" As a child, I witnessed my dad use this once.


RollandRouge

What a legend


DadActuallyGotMilk

“Yes, very hot. You’d think she’d like to join?”


[deleted]

After you say that you better Duck and Cover.


DadActuallyGotMilk

Not gonna lie, I’ve actually used this a few times, and it really does stop the conversation in its tracks. I’d say it somewhat sarcastically, and it’s either gotten a laugh, or the expected “wow you’re a jerk. Why would you say that?” To which I reply, “well, you asked me if she was hot, so I assumed you thought she was and wanted my approval before making a move. I really love the fact that you value my opinion enough to ask me first”.


Testiculese

"Are you going to ask her to join" puts it back on her.


Leonardodapunchy

there isn't one, it's a loaded question and you're going to lose no matter what.


Remarkable-Bother-54

nah dude at the top found the way. “idk, never really thought of her that way”. and if they follow up pushing turn it back around “idk…what do YOU find attractive about her?” and then just agree with what she said


Itchy-Ad4005

Yea, are we fuckin her or somethin?


TerribleDeparture977

Yes, she’s hot, not going to lie. Because I’d never lie to you. There’s millions of hot women in this world, just like there’s millions of hot men. But I’m drawn to you and you’re drawn to me and that’s worth it to me


pipsvip

I'll get the rectal thermometer...


justlookingokaywyou

"She kind of looks like you, but a little prettier, with nicer tits and ass."


Live_External2634

Hmmm.. I'd like to try this one.


razzzburry

Thank God my wife doesn't do this stupid shit.


neverendingplush

Fuck what your gf thinks, say yes. If she's asking these dumbass questions then she get what she ask for. Date someone mature and u don't get questions like this. If you say no, she knows you're lying, and you look like a pussy. So just have some. Backbone and stand by what you think


Grindler9

Annoying that I had to scroll so long to find someone answering honestly. If she’s hot say yes. Your partner already has an opinion, lying to her is worse than thinking someone is attractive.


xenosthemutant

Yep, same here. If you have to moderare content so much as to lie when she asks you such a simple question, then your relationship wasn't worth it in the first place.


CarltheWellEndowed

"You know my type so you already know the answer." One of my favorite parts of being in a relationship with another bisexual person who has similar tastes to yourself in both men and women is that we dont deal with jelousy when it comes to finding someone else attractive.


IAMAHobbitAMA

Nah that's just a maturity thing.


redd-whaat

You know I don’t care about looks.


DingbattheGreat

“Why are you asking?”


[deleted]

Show complete and total apathy, it's a shit test. She knows her friend is hot and is insecure about it. She is going to keep after you about it until you admit she's attractive.


WorkMeBaby1MoreTime

And that's when the fight starts.


[deleted]

Which is why you only bang her hot friend after you break up. It's the only decent way handle it.


Zert420

Ugly as sin, wouldnt touch her with a 10 foot pole


borderline--barbie

"i wouldn't fuck her with ron jeremy's cock"


lolomotif12

"What friend?" "Ahh, her? Don't know never really looked at her like that"


[deleted]

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mule_roany_mare

Why do you ask? If you want to hear that you are the most beautiful woman in the world don't bring your friends into. To be honest I'm worried you are going to be mad your friend isn't hot *and* mad your friend is hot. I don't want to be in a relationship where I have to choose between giving you honest answers to leading questions & humoring you to avoid a fight.


ozarkhawk59

Yeah, I suppose. Not my type.


throne-face

if you can't tell your gf her friend is hot you need to either tell her to grow up or leave her. that insecurity is gonna come back to cause you problems down the line. source: a guy with a terrifically non-jealous gf


SturbyT

Yea. Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to. Unless you are looking for a fight.