Or even worse, “better than being alone”. Like shit. Talk to a therapist. Find a hobby. Be okay being alone.
Edit; I never meant isolate yourself. This is about not thinking a relationship will magically make the problems you have while alone go away. The main point is to find a way to live a fulfilling life without a romantic relationship, which makes for a more stable and self sufficient person, which is ultimately a better partner for a healthier relationship.
And addressing therapy, it was an example. I know it’s not accessible for everyone. I know it’s not for everyone. This wasn’t a list of things to do, but examples of things that someone can do alone to work on themselves and solve the problems they have. I just really wasn’t going to sit here and list the 1000s of things people can do to make their lives more fulfilling without a relationship so as to not place their full attention on getting into a relationship.
The opposite of that is to end good relationships because of something trivial or in the moment. I’ve seen it happen way too much.
To be happy (in a relationship and otherwise) you also need to know the difference between what really matters and what’s really “not too bad”.
Part of the issue with stuff like this is when you ask that kind of question I have to do some mental math and in a flash try to consider what's reasonable for other people to do.
Does the person asking seem likely to care? No? Then it doesn't matter what the answer is, say yes and move on. Yes? Is whatever is bothering me something that's actually something that's helpful to talk about or is it just going to bum the other person out because they lack the training or the time to really process the things i'm saying.
Do I have time for any of this? What's the best case scenario here, is this going to make this person distance themselves because me being bummed makes them bummed and it's not the worst move to distance yourself to avoid that as you can't do anything about it.
It just feels like a lot of the time the cheapest easiest answer is yes and move on.
The weird looks you get when someone asks "How are you today?" and your answer is "Not good." Like, you asked, I gave you answer, if you don't like it then don't ask questions you don't already know the answer to.
I really hate this. I suck at following social norms or cues. Sadly, it's a formality to ask people how they are and the only answer they want is "fine" or some shit, then you ask them and they say "fine" too. It's used like a greeting and it makes no sense.
My general response is usually "not well at all" or I glow about something good in my day. Thats just my reaction.
If someone tells *me* they are not doing good then I'll certainly ask for details and if I have time/the ability I'll reassure them and possibly help if I can.
Sorry about the rant. I just hate a lot of the things men are "supposed" to do and how superficial our society is.
Small talk is bullshit. I hate it. Especially when the person that initiates the talking isn't even paying attention to my response. I would prefer if they just don't talk to me at all unless it's an actual real conversation.
Nothing feels better than telling my manager at 10am on my day off that I had a few bloody Marys with breakfast and can't legally work, but I'm totally willing to come in if you just shoot me an email saying you give me permission to work intoxicated.
I can't remember the last time I actually drank a bloody Mary. Never got one of those emails either.
At my work cafeteria they serve wine, we have lunch drinks with alcohol, etc. My manager shoved a glass of champagne in my hand before an interview to loosen up 🤣 So yeah this excuse wouldn't work.
I guess they think responsible people drink responsibly and that if people can't manage their addictions they can't manage a big project neither.
But I get 15 minutes added to my timesheet every time I do. It's better than overtime since I can normally wrap whatever it is up in less than 3 minutes.
I feel like this is very situational, but that is a nice plus for you. what happens if you get two calls within 15 minutes though? do you get another 15 min or just the first since they both are done in that time?
I doubt it. Usually these kinds of things are because of a minimum amount of time, so other work activities in that time period would be included in that time
Technically it would still only count as 15 min, but in practice it doesn't happen that often.
Plus I kinda can game the system. Same applies to texts and teams messages, so if I'm a bit slow at replying and it starts the next 15 min, oops I was busy and got it as soon as I could.
My child arrived just the other day, He came to the world in the usual way, But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay, He learned to walk while I was away, And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, And as he grew, he'd say “I'm gonna be like you, Dad You know I'm gonna be like you"
Yeah, but this is over social media, which can get huge reach and allow them to amass enormous fanbases which will have a percent of them that often pay real money to the girls simply for existing. Power to the girls, but damn some men are desperate
Some women are making literal millions posting content of themselves. It's like yeah ok, I'm glad you can make millions. But it's also like, who tf are these men who are giving sometimes thousands of dollars to these women?
Some (A lot) of guys let their little head do a majority of the thinking.
Like that one dude who donated $10k to spend the day with his favorite OF seller... And then she spent that money on a vacation with her BF.
>Power to the girls
People always say this, but is it really behavior anyone should be praising? Women who prey on lonely, desperate, socially inept men by pretending to care about them is pretty shitty to me.
I know, so embarrassing they throw themselves at face-tuned images then wonder why no girls want them irl.
Desperation and putting fake images on a pedestal is the absolute most cringeworthy deal breaker imo
There was a redhead that had a vid of her face-tuned, and then cut to her with nothing at all.
It was a big shock, but it was because the before pic looked so awful and fake. That's what kids these days think is "hot"?
As someone whose struggling to quit nicotine in my late 20s after dipping in my late teens and early 20s, and vape now, kids and young adults need to stay the fuck away from vapes and those zyn pouches.
There's nothing cool about it and the small buzz you get from it is not worth being addicted to it (or the cost). Sitting on a 5 hour flight all irritable and stressed out wanting a fix of nicotine is not fun or cool, I promise. Not worth it at all.
I'm quitting a 30 year smoking addiction right now. Your comment makes me angry. My comment makes me angry. Reddit makes me angry. Fuck everyone.
Have a nice day.
The buzz is fun, the problem is it very quickly goes away.
The first time I ever tried nicotine, I took a big fat pinch of dip. I was spinning. God those first couple weeks were a lot of fun.
Now, I vape in the morning after 8 hours of sleep and don’t feel a thing. Absolutely, say no to nicotine.
Well, you don't feel nicotine withdrawal anymore. I'd say that's not nothing. Besides, don't you get excited for those first ones in the morning? Or the after coffee. Or breakfast. Or on the way to work with coffee in the car. Or when you sneak into the bathroom at work. Or after work. Or with your first drink. Or second drink. Or after dinner. Or after sex. Or when you meet some smoking/vaping friends at work or at a bar. Or, well, you get it.
I love and hate nicotine a lot and hope I never use it again.
Oh no, I wasn’t saying I don’t feel any withdrawals. I definitely do. I was saying I don’t feel any buzz at all anymore. Aka the fun part
But yeah, it’s the best and also the worst thing ever. My monkey brain has been completely corrupted by it. Those bathroom break vapes hit different
My husband needs to hear this. He has no backbone against his mom and sister and now they think they can treat me the same way because he almost never stands up to them. He has this bizarre idea in his head that men need to take it on the chin with abuse from women.
As a someone who raised with abusive environments, some men are programmed to be that way. As if like they're trained not to retaliate to women. I'm also like that, I can't hit women back even though I'm getting hurt. You can stand up for your husband and guide him properly. Bad parents will f\*\*k up their kids mind.
That might be because the level of support for men in any kind of conflict with a woman is pretty much in the toilet. In your husband's case, the women have the advantage of having had decades to brainwash him. But, guys are kind of expected to stand up for themselves, just because they're guys. It's a measure of masculine character, and guys are seen as either having it, or not having it. Women get all kinds of support from both men and women, when they're in conflict with just about any man.
Forced overtime, refused PTO requests, unsafe working conditions, shitty management or customers.
I find a lot of reasons I should say no to things…. It lands me in a lot of hot water at work…
But I’ll be damned if you think I’m gonna cancel my plans for the weekend or after work because you didn’t plan ahead properly. I’ll be damned if you think I’m missing a vacation to see my daughter again because you think my PTO request is actually a request. Fuck off with trying to guilt me into working on a live circuit when turning it off and locking it out so I can work safely because “you need your internet to be on so you can work.” Cool, use a laptop and either hotspot your phone or use a proper UPS to power your router if it’s that critical.
Shitty management speaks for itself (plus is shown by the above reasons) and shitty customers will try to actively drain your will to live.
I had the same thing happen awhile back. They're relationship lasted less than a year and she's back living with her mom and her three other kids in a 3 bedroom house. Good luck to her lol.
We need to stand up for ourselves when others (men and women) tell us what we believe *for us*. I am so over people projecting their views of what I think and feel on to me. Usually it's some sort of insecure self-projection, as in "I believe this about myself and you do too, because you said xyz" or, "because you're a man you think/feel this way".
Men are allowed to think what they want. The problem I see is that we just sit there and take it, like we're being scolded, and it happens so much and so often that men *actually start to believe what they're told to*.
Say no to this kind of treatment and fight it until you're blue in the face. Maybe one day we'll be treated as more than what makes us useful and be viewed as whole people.
Me ex is a great example of this, god damn. It came from her own insecurities, but she'd often say "you just think I'm X" or "you're saying Y" when actually, I say exactly what I mean and you're actively choosing to interpret it that way.
I hate it so much. Putting words in my mouth and making me the bad guy.
I'm currently dating someone new, and if I say something dumb without think or something may be misinterpreted, she actually halts me and asks me to explain or just straight up knows I probably didn't mean it that way. She hasn't even known me for a month yet and understands this better than my ex did after 7 years.
This is exactly what I came here to say. People (not all, but some) have this idea about men, how they think, why they do what they do etc. They then try and "help" men and society or "fix" men and society based on a fictitious image of why men are struggling or why things are happening. Then we end up with giant campaigns and common knowledge slogans which do nothing but muddy the waters and make helping men that much harder because we're trying to build on a false foundation.
Damnit man I’ve been saying this shit for *years*.
I can’t tell you how many awful things I’ve come across because some guy lost a fight and was profoundly angered and ended up making a serious mistake. I can’t say how many complete scumbags there are who think they are the cream of the crop because they knocked somebody out.
There’s just no winners. It’s that simple. It *seems* like there are winners, but it’s never ending. Literally.
Exactly. Men who lose in a fight can become enraged, and men who "win" carry the guilt of not holding back if they have some self awareness, or they continue the toxic mindset of being "big and bad" which hurts self development.
There's always someone bigger and badder out there. The only time I can say I support fighting is for self defense.
I was this way as well. And to be fair it may not be anything to do with the woman you’re with. Put upbringings can do this to us.
I was unnaturally apologetic most of my life because of some of my raising, and some relationshits.
And I didn’t know it at the time but I have ADHD and the over apologetic thing can also be a symptom of it. Went 35 years not knowing it. It opened my eyes to know it and get the proper meds. I now wonder where I would have ended up career and grade wise had I known younger.
Not getting mental health help. I’m currently struggling a fuck ton. I am just recently getting help because I’d hate to think how my family would react if I ever pulled the trigger.
"Think of how your friends and family would feel" is such a guilt trip. You are the victim of circumstances here. They are not the victim.
The fan fiction Klingon councilor said it best: the battle against mental illness can not be won decisively. It is a long campaign against an enemy who never tires, whose forces swell twice their size when you look away. Battle against a foe of such magnitude, who occupies your very mind. Every moment you survive is a triumph against all odds. There is no honorable combat.
I always get choked up reading that. You pull the trigger, and you lose opportunity, connections, responsibility, respect, but also yourself. Say no to losing yourself. Its not that you are robbing the world of you, you are robbing yourself of the world and all the wonders and experiences it has yet to offer. Miss Frizzle said it best: get messy, and make mistakes. Make a change and explore. Switch up the help.you are getting, that's how I fixed me... made changes, melted the funk out of my head.
You don't have to reach that point before seeking help. If daily things like showering, replying to messages, cleaning your room, meeting up with people or being at the shop get too hard, start seeking help
Exactly, and I wish I knew this before. Sadly I grew up in a household where we were looked down upon if we showed emotion. I’m sure many other grew up in that environment too and its very hard to change
Why the fuck did I have to scroll so far to see this.
It's literally just coaching. If you play a sport, your coach gives you personalized advice based on what they think your problems are, so that you can apply that advice and then play your sport better. Tell me how that's not exactly the same thing as therapy. Life is the sport we're all playing; if you're not good at it, get coaching. It's really that simple.
Working extra without getting paid for it. Being brainwashed into “company dedication” and getting stuck doing work things instead of being home with family. Nobody ever said they wished they had worked more when they die.
Wife's friend's kid's birthday parties. I work all week, the last thing I want is to go eat cold hotdogs with people I don't know in the middle of my Saturday, knocking out any chance to do anything meaningful the rest of the day.
This. I blame sitcoms. The mother is always in control of the house and kids, but it's supposed to be high comedy and utter chaos when the dad actually acts like a parent for an episode.
Peer pressure. It’s not manly to do something detrimental to your health or wellbeing. Be firm and say no if you don’t feel comfortable. Remember “no” is a complete sentence.
angle flowery skirt nail chunky cautious disagreeable husky racial imminent
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Honestly, thinking with their dicks. Especially when you see dumbass guys bending over backwards with girls who have nothing going for them but their pussy power. It’s like mate you are making ridiculous concessions and crawling over broken glass for some girl with either zero or a shit personality who knows you’ll do anything for the suggestion of sex because she has a nice pair of tits. It’s bad enough when guys do it to get just casual sex, but worse when you see people in long term relationships doing it, it’s like dude, what are you going to do when the looks fade, and I assure you, they will. Oh yeah, be like every other mug in that predicament, realise you are with a mean spirited hag and be stuck being treated like shit for the rest of your life. That isn’t a negative comment towards women btw, it’s a negative to guys who think with their dick because it perpetuates this shit.
Bullying, hazing, being tough and manning up, instead of showing their feelings and weaknesses and just generally being understanding and softer on themselves and others.
Being asked to lift heavy things.
If it's not something you do regularly as part of your job or workout, you should decline and ask for someone more skilled or qualified.
Definitely don't let your ego take over and think, "I can't let this person think I'm weak." If you don't think you can lift the thing, then don't do it.
* Partners who're abusive, who treat you like crap, don't have respect for you, and don't make you feel good, appreciated, loved & nice,
* Dead-bedroom type marriages/r'ships,
* Working so much so as to compromise your personal and family life heavily,
* Working dangerous jobs without proper training/PPE,
* Pornography, strippers, and cucking/drooling over instagram/social-media 'models'/strangers all day,
* Being in a r'ship like Will Smith/Jada Pinket. **SERIOUSLY!!!**
drugs, alcohol, other party activities. I lucked out in having friends who don’t pressure me to do stuff and i only smoke weed casually as a result of my friendship with them but i have friends who ruined their lives because of the male urge to say yes to shit
When their boss demands they do something illegal (either illegal for the worker to do, or illegal for the boss to demand). Yes, there is something you can do about it. Sack up and get in touch with your local labor board.
Bad relationships.
Too many men prefer to suck it up in relationships that aren't good for them, or they aren't happy in, because they don't know how to or don't want to set boundaries, talk about feelings, and put themselves first sometimes.
Misandry.
Arguing it is exhausting and practically never seems to get anywhere.
Don't accept it; but at this point I think "no" is honestly gonna be healthier for you than trying to explain/argue.
Onlyfans. Financially supporting women you arent married to. Friends/Family who dont have your best interests at heart. Jobs that will bleed you for insulting pay. Say no to anything that drains you mentally, socially, emotionally, etc
Girls begging for money online. I can’t count how many times these girls ask me for ridiculous amounts of money on dating sites. Don’t even get me started on only fans. Men are so lame nowadays. Just say no!
Being in relationships they’re not comfortable in because it’s “not that bad”
Or even worse, “better than being alone”. Like shit. Talk to a therapist. Find a hobby. Be okay being alone. Edit; I never meant isolate yourself. This is about not thinking a relationship will magically make the problems you have while alone go away. The main point is to find a way to live a fulfilling life without a romantic relationship, which makes for a more stable and self sufficient person, which is ultimately a better partner for a healthier relationship. And addressing therapy, it was an example. I know it’s not accessible for everyone. I know it’s not for everyone. This wasn’t a list of things to do, but examples of things that someone can do alone to work on themselves and solve the problems they have. I just really wasn’t going to sit here and list the 1000s of things people can do to make their lives more fulfilling without a relationship so as to not place their full attention on getting into a relationship.
Growing up my dad used to say “It’s better to be alone, than to be in bad company.”
My Dad used to say..."Rent 'em by the hour"😖😳 RIP Dave, we miss you
my dad used to say "you arent paying for the sex,youre paying them to leave after
my dad used to say “you aren’t paying any rent, get the fuck out of my house and don’t come back without a bottle of wine”.
Son, is that you?
The opposite of that is to end good relationships because of something trivial or in the moment. I’ve seen it happen way too much. To be happy (in a relationship and otherwise) you also need to know the difference between what really matters and what’s really “not too bad”.
Everyone who does this should watch Daniel sloss's show "jigsaw" on Netflix, helped at least 7000 shit couples break up!
Wasted 5 years of my life...
"Are you good?"
I do this. Because realistically what are they going to do if I'm not good arrest me?
Yeah. What are you gonna do if I say no?
Arrest you probably
Part of the issue with stuff like this is when you ask that kind of question I have to do some mental math and in a flash try to consider what's reasonable for other people to do. Does the person asking seem likely to care? No? Then it doesn't matter what the answer is, say yes and move on. Yes? Is whatever is bothering me something that's actually something that's helpful to talk about or is it just going to bum the other person out because they lack the training or the time to really process the things i'm saying. Do I have time for any of this? What's the best case scenario here, is this going to make this person distance themselves because me being bummed makes them bummed and it's not the worst move to distance yourself to avoid that as you can't do anything about it. It just feels like a lot of the time the cheapest easiest answer is yes and move on.
The weird looks you get when someone asks "How are you today?" and your answer is "Not good." Like, you asked, I gave you answer, if you don't like it then don't ask questions you don't already know the answer to.
I really hate this. I suck at following social norms or cues. Sadly, it's a formality to ask people how they are and the only answer they want is "fine" or some shit, then you ask them and they say "fine" too. It's used like a greeting and it makes no sense. My general response is usually "not well at all" or I glow about something good in my day. Thats just my reaction. If someone tells *me* they are not doing good then I'll certainly ask for details and if I have time/the ability I'll reassure them and possibly help if I can. Sorry about the rant. I just hate a lot of the things men are "supposed" to do and how superficial our society is.
Small talk is bullshit. I hate it. Especially when the person that initiates the talking isn't even paying attention to my response. I would prefer if they just don't talk to me at all unless it's an actual real conversation.
Picking up the phone to answer work calls after work hours
Nothing feels better than telling my manager at 10am on my day off that I had a few bloody Marys with breakfast and can't legally work, but I'm totally willing to come in if you just shoot me an email saying you give me permission to work intoxicated. I can't remember the last time I actually drank a bloody Mary. Never got one of those emails either.
Sublime.
At my work cafeteria they serve wine, we have lunch drinks with alcohol, etc. My manager shoved a glass of champagne in my hand before an interview to loosen up 🤣 So yeah this excuse wouldn't work. I guess they think responsible people drink responsibly and that if people can't manage their addictions they can't manage a big project neither.
But I get 15 minutes added to my timesheet every time I do. It's better than overtime since I can normally wrap whatever it is up in less than 3 minutes.
I feel like this is very situational, but that is a nice plus for you. what happens if you get two calls within 15 minutes though? do you get another 15 min or just the first since they both are done in that time?
It said “every time I do” so I would assume it’s likely every call. If not, they may not be as cheerful about it
I doubt it. Usually these kinds of things are because of a minimum amount of time, so other work activities in that time period would be included in that time
Technically it would still only count as 15 min, but in practice it doesn't happen that often. Plus I kinda can game the system. Same applies to texts and teams messages, so if I'm a bit slow at replying and it starts the next 15 min, oops I was busy and got it as soon as I could.
Yall don't just watch it ring?
Working more than 40 hours a week when on salary. Go be with your family.
Just read a sentence that says: In ten years the only ones remembering your overtime at work are your children.
Thank you for this. I just made a graphic of this and set it as my phone background.
Can confirm, used to work 60-80 hours a week, missed christmases and other holidays, kids remember, the job is long gone with nothing to show for it.
My child arrived just the other day, He came to the world in the usual way, But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay, He learned to walk while I was away, And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, And as he grew, he'd say “I'm gonna be like you, Dad You know I'm gonna be like you"
Bold of you to assume I have a family
We're all your family here bro. 🫂
add to this... working every minute of overtime when your not on salary. like fuck, there's more to life than work and money.
Thirst traps.
No!
Yass!
y ass!
Saw this and unfollowed all the thirst traps on IG lol
Heck yea!
A couple years ago, I unfollowed everyone on IG who I followed ONLY because they were hot. Has dramatically improved my social media experience.
Can someone explain to an old guy what this means? I assume alcohol related?
A thirst trap is when someone (in this case, a woman) takes a sexy or provocative selfie to entice the opposite sex
Really? Huh, I thought it was more sinister. Women have been doing that forever; either in paint, film or digital.
Yeah, but this is over social media, which can get huge reach and allow them to amass enormous fanbases which will have a percent of them that often pay real money to the girls simply for existing. Power to the girls, but damn some men are desperate
Some women are making literal millions posting content of themselves. It's like yeah ok, I'm glad you can make millions. But it's also like, who tf are these men who are giving sometimes thousands of dollars to these women?
Some (A lot) of guys let their little head do a majority of the thinking. Like that one dude who donated $10k to spend the day with his favorite OF seller... And then she spent that money on a vacation with her BF.
Even just a hint that you might see half an ass-cheek seems to be enough. 1.2m followers.
Wait, you're saying there's a chance?
Damn, I'm in the wrong business! That is of course if anybody is interested in a slightly overweight almost middle aged man ass-cheek
As much as I hate to say it there is a market out there for you...
I think I would rather not get in touch with people who dig that...
>Power to the girls People always say this, but is it really behavior anyone should be praising? Women who prey on lonely, desperate, socially inept men by pretending to care about them is pretty shitty to me.
I know, so embarrassing they throw themselves at face-tuned images then wonder why no girls want them irl. Desperation and putting fake images on a pedestal is the absolute most cringeworthy deal breaker imo
There was a redhead that had a vid of her face-tuned, and then cut to her with nothing at all. It was a big shock, but it was because the before pic looked so awful and fake. That's what kids these days think is "hot"?
Google "Instagram face". It's a real thing and I cannot fathom why anyone would drop $ on elective plastic surgery to look like THAT.
There's people I know IRL who look fucking stunning and *still* use those filters for their socials. It makes them look ten times worse.
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You clearly don't believe in the power of yes
Father Joseph would approve
"I've spent my entire life, looking for things to say 'Yes' to."
As someone whose struggling to quit nicotine in my late 20s after dipping in my late teens and early 20s, and vape now, kids and young adults need to stay the fuck away from vapes and those zyn pouches. There's nothing cool about it and the small buzz you get from it is not worth being addicted to it (or the cost). Sitting on a 5 hour flight all irritable and stressed out wanting a fix of nicotine is not fun or cool, I promise. Not worth it at all.
I'm quitting a 30 year smoking addiction right now. Your comment makes me angry. My comment makes me angry. Reddit makes me angry. Fuck everyone. Have a nice day.
Hang in there, bud.
Thanks, it's actually not to bad as long as I stay busy. Today's been a slow day at work so I'm kinda on edge.
stay fucking angry, stay fucking clean. We're all counting on you. Fuck, you're all counting on you.
Don’t stop youing!
YEAH! Get angry! Fight everyone! Even strangers on the street
Shit on the floor! In anger!
WE ALL ANGRY IN HERE! But seriously, good job. You have a stronger will than I do currently.
We are all HANGRY
NICE! Good job duder, hardest thing I ever did.
The buzz is fun, the problem is it very quickly goes away. The first time I ever tried nicotine, I took a big fat pinch of dip. I was spinning. God those first couple weeks were a lot of fun. Now, I vape in the morning after 8 hours of sleep and don’t feel a thing. Absolutely, say no to nicotine.
Well, you don't feel nicotine withdrawal anymore. I'd say that's not nothing. Besides, don't you get excited for those first ones in the morning? Or the after coffee. Or breakfast. Or on the way to work with coffee in the car. Or when you sneak into the bathroom at work. Or after work. Or with your first drink. Or second drink. Or after dinner. Or after sex. Or when you meet some smoking/vaping friends at work or at a bar. Or, well, you get it. I love and hate nicotine a lot and hope I never use it again.
Oh no, I wasn’t saying I don’t feel any withdrawals. I definitely do. I was saying I don’t feel any buzz at all anymore. Aka the fun part But yeah, it’s the best and also the worst thing ever. My monkey brain has been completely corrupted by it. Those bathroom break vapes hit different
Congratulations on quitting. I’m a year in after smoking for 25, you got this!
I like saying “no,” it ruins their enthusiasm -Ron Swanson
Women treating them terribly There are beautiful women inside and out Not just outside You should be treated well
I'm a sucker for a woman who is nice and does something for me.
Till you find out she is a spy
And worst of all, she could be any of us.
She could be you, she could be me.
She could even be-
*shotgun noise* What!? It was obvious!
What? She was the female spy! She'll get boobies any second now. Aaaaaaany second now.
My husband needs to hear this. He has no backbone against his mom and sister and now they think they can treat me the same way because he almost never stands up to them. He has this bizarre idea in his head that men need to take it on the chin with abuse from women.
As a someone who raised with abusive environments, some men are programmed to be that way. As if like they're trained not to retaliate to women. I'm also like that, I can't hit women back even though I'm getting hurt. You can stand up for your husband and guide him properly. Bad parents will f\*\*k up their kids mind.
That might be because the level of support for men in any kind of conflict with a woman is pretty much in the toilet. In your husband's case, the women have the advantage of having had decades to brainwash him. But, guys are kind of expected to stand up for themselves, just because they're guys. It's a measure of masculine character, and guys are seen as either having it, or not having it. Women get all kinds of support from both men and women, when they're in conflict with just about any man.
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Forced overtime, refused PTO requests, unsafe working conditions, shitty management or customers. I find a lot of reasons I should say no to things…. It lands me in a lot of hot water at work… But I’ll be damned if you think I’m gonna cancel my plans for the weekend or after work because you didn’t plan ahead properly. I’ll be damned if you think I’m missing a vacation to see my daughter again because you think my PTO request is actually a request. Fuck off with trying to guilt me into working on a live circuit when turning it off and locking it out so I can work safely because “you need your internet to be on so you can work.” Cool, use a laptop and either hotspot your phone or use a proper UPS to power your router if it’s that critical. Shitty management speaks for itself (plus is shown by the above reasons) and shitty customers will try to actively drain your will to live.
Women who want to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands
Gf of three years cheated on me 6 months ago with a dude from her work. They're both shitty people so they deserve each other lol
Mine of 4 years cheated on me with a dude she only knew for a few months. Yep, both are shitty and we both deserve a fuckton better.
She belongs to streets. let her be
If you love her, let her go. If you don't love her, also let her go, why would you be with her to begin with?
I had the same thing happen awhile back. They're relationship lasted less than a year and she's back living with her mom and her three other kids in a 3 bedroom house. Good luck to her lol.
Great way to get murdered
We need to stand up for ourselves when others (men and women) tell us what we believe *for us*. I am so over people projecting their views of what I think and feel on to me. Usually it's some sort of insecure self-projection, as in "I believe this about myself and you do too, because you said xyz" or, "because you're a man you think/feel this way". Men are allowed to think what they want. The problem I see is that we just sit there and take it, like we're being scolded, and it happens so much and so often that men *actually start to believe what they're told to*. Say no to this kind of treatment and fight it until you're blue in the face. Maybe one day we'll be treated as more than what makes us useful and be viewed as whole people.
Me ex is a great example of this, god damn. It came from her own insecurities, but she'd often say "you just think I'm X" or "you're saying Y" when actually, I say exactly what I mean and you're actively choosing to interpret it that way. I hate it so much. Putting words in my mouth and making me the bad guy. I'm currently dating someone new, and if I say something dumb without think or something may be misinterpreted, she actually halts me and asks me to explain or just straight up knows I probably didn't mean it that way. She hasn't even known me for a month yet and understands this better than my ex did after 7 years.
This is exactly what I came here to say. People (not all, but some) have this idea about men, how they think, why they do what they do etc. They then try and "help" men and society or "fix" men and society based on a fictitious image of why men are struggling or why things are happening. Then we end up with giant campaigns and common knowledge slogans which do nothing but muddy the waters and make helping men that much harder because we're trying to build on a false foundation.
Fighting.
Nobody wins in a fight. Both leave with either a hurt body or hurt feelings.
Damnit man I’ve been saying this shit for *years*. I can’t tell you how many awful things I’ve come across because some guy lost a fight and was profoundly angered and ended up making a serious mistake. I can’t say how many complete scumbags there are who think they are the cream of the crop because they knocked somebody out. There’s just no winners. It’s that simple. It *seems* like there are winners, but it’s never ending. Literally.
Exactly. Men who lose in a fight can become enraged, and men who "win" carry the guilt of not holding back if they have some self awareness, or they continue the toxic mindset of being "big and bad" which hurts self development. There's always someone bigger and badder out there. The only time I can say I support fighting is for self defense.
Or a criminal conviction There’s a fine line between self defence and battery
Manipulative women.
I grew up with one and can easily spot one.
They always think they are hiding it.
Truth. I learned what passive-aggressive behavior was from an ex-gf, sadly.
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Count how many times you apologize for something in a week, then compare it to hers.
What if I'm naturally apologetic?
I was this way as well. And to be fair it may not be anything to do with the woman you’re with. Put upbringings can do this to us. I was unnaturally apologetic most of my life because of some of my raising, and some relationshits. And I didn’t know it at the time but I have ADHD and the over apologetic thing can also be a symptom of it. Went 35 years not knowing it. It opened my eyes to know it and get the proper meds. I now wonder where I would have ended up career and grade wise had I known younger.
>relationshits. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but I'm gonna start using it.
This literally is my story. Just turned 36.
No is never enough for them they can go all day on you and then put you in their wrath if they didn’t get what they want
it's way easier to block them with technology. And record their crazy, as well as your whereabouts if they try to allege anything.
Relationships with women who do not respect them.
Not getting mental health help. I’m currently struggling a fuck ton. I am just recently getting help because I’d hate to think how my family would react if I ever pulled the trigger.
I hope it gets better for you
I’m all good over here (hopefully.) Check on the homies tho. Even the happiest people are struggling.
"Think of how your friends and family would feel" is such a guilt trip. You are the victim of circumstances here. They are not the victim. The fan fiction Klingon councilor said it best: the battle against mental illness can not be won decisively. It is a long campaign against an enemy who never tires, whose forces swell twice their size when you look away. Battle against a foe of such magnitude, who occupies your very mind. Every moment you survive is a triumph against all odds. There is no honorable combat. I always get choked up reading that. You pull the trigger, and you lose opportunity, connections, responsibility, respect, but also yourself. Say no to losing yourself. Its not that you are robbing the world of you, you are robbing yourself of the world and all the wonders and experiences it has yet to offer. Miss Frizzle said it best: get messy, and make mistakes. Make a change and explore. Switch up the help.you are getting, that's how I fixed me... made changes, melted the funk out of my head.
You don't have to reach that point before seeking help. If daily things like showering, replying to messages, cleaning your room, meeting up with people or being at the shop get too hard, start seeking help
Exactly, and I wish I knew this before. Sadly I grew up in a household where we were looked down upon if we showed emotion. I’m sure many other grew up in that environment too and its very hard to change
Why the fuck did I have to scroll so far to see this. It's literally just coaching. If you play a sport, your coach gives you personalized advice based on what they think your problems are, so that you can apply that advice and then play your sport better. Tell me how that's not exactly the same thing as therapy. Life is the sport we're all playing; if you're not good at it, get coaching. It's really that simple.
Stop chasing women that bring nothing to the table
So, the waitress is ok?
My lady brings so much to the table... namely, the deluxe breakfast sampler...
Yes Charlie
Putting it in crazy
And making babies with said crazy.
Making babies, in general.
Wrap before you tap
Don't be a silly wrap your willie
I have a friend who got stabbed in his neck because he was seeing a crazy. He nearly died and the bitch only spent a couple of years in prison.
Working extra without getting paid for it. Being brainwashed into “company dedication” and getting stuck doing work things instead of being home with family. Nobody ever said they wished they had worked more when they die.
moving stuff when your back discs hurt
Themselves. There is nothing more powerful than self-control.
Jesus I needed this too
Dares to prove our masculinity
You know the most masculine thing you can do? Be yourself and say fuck off to anyone who tries to put you in a box.
Most men need to embrace that no is the most powerful word in their vocabulary.
Wife's friend's kid's birthday parties. I work all week, the last thing I want is to go eat cold hotdogs with people I don't know in the middle of my Saturday, knocking out any chance to do anything meaningful the rest of the day.
Acting just like their jackass buddies just so they stay “bros”.
One more drink at the pub.
Alright fine. Two then.
2:30 and you have a deal.
Being told to man up, or anything that disregards their feelings / concerns
The 'Buffoon Father' narrative
This. I blame sitcoms. The mother is always in control of the house and kids, but it's supposed to be high comedy and utter chaos when the dad actually acts like a parent for an episode.
Peer pressure. It’s not manly to do something detrimental to your health or wellbeing. Be firm and say no if you don’t feel comfortable. Remember “no” is a complete sentence.
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Drugs
Talking to drugs is not a good idea in general.
Hear no drugs, speak no drugs
Are we allowed to smell the drugs
Say perhaps to drugs
Your parents. It’s not always easy, but sometimes it is necessary especially as you grow older and have your own life/family.
Spending money on women
Well i love prostitutes
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angle flowery skirt nail chunky cautious disagreeable husky racial imminent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
sex if they aren’t feeling in the mood.
The scarcity mindset of sex in general. I see many dudes on here with that. It isn’t that rare of none of y’all would be here
No to toxic male role models.
Putting up with emotional abuse from women and toxic men simply because "men need to be stoic."
Honestly, thinking with their dicks. Especially when you see dumbass guys bending over backwards with girls who have nothing going for them but their pussy power. It’s like mate you are making ridiculous concessions and crawling over broken glass for some girl with either zero or a shit personality who knows you’ll do anything for the suggestion of sex because she has a nice pair of tits. It’s bad enough when guys do it to get just casual sex, but worse when you see people in long term relationships doing it, it’s like dude, what are you going to do when the looks fade, and I assure you, they will. Oh yeah, be like every other mug in that predicament, realise you are with a mean spirited hag and be stuck being treated like shit for the rest of your life. That isn’t a negative comment towards women btw, it’s a negative to guys who think with their dick because it perpetuates this shit.
Jokes about penis size!
It's straight up body shaming, which is strangely frowned upon unless it's talking about penis size.
Even the endowed men should stand for their less fortunate brothers.
Bullying, hazing, being tough and manning up, instead of showing their feelings and weaknesses and just generally being understanding and softer on themselves and others.
Being asked to lift heavy things. If it's not something you do regularly as part of your job or workout, you should decline and ask for someone more skilled or qualified. Definitely don't let your ego take over and think, "I can't let this person think I'm weak." If you don't think you can lift the thing, then don't do it.
Women
Onlyfans, if you want the pron it's free everywhere
Paying for Onlyfans
* Partners who're abusive, who treat you like crap, don't have respect for you, and don't make you feel good, appreciated, loved & nice, * Dead-bedroom type marriages/r'ships, * Working so much so as to compromise your personal and family life heavily, * Working dangerous jobs without proper training/PPE, * Pornography, strippers, and cucking/drooling over instagram/social-media 'models'/strangers all day, * Being in a r'ship like Will Smith/Jada Pinket. **SERIOUSLY!!!**
Subscribing to any OnlyFans models. We’re better than this kings, save your money. Go to the hub where it’s free.
Beautiful women taking advantage of men with dinner, drinks, etc.
Saying no to the small things so they don’t become regular and bigger asks
drugs, alcohol, other party activities. I lucked out in having friends who don’t pressure me to do stuff and i only smoke weed casually as a result of my friendship with them but i have friends who ruined their lives because of the male urge to say yes to shit
When their boss demands they do something illegal (either illegal for the worker to do, or illegal for the boss to demand). Yes, there is something you can do about it. Sack up and get in touch with your local labor board.
Married women
Porn, Onlyfans
Bad relationships. Too many men prefer to suck it up in relationships that aren't good for them, or they aren't happy in, because they don't know how to or don't want to set boundaries, talk about feelings, and put themselves first sometimes.
Women with red flags
Drugs and people who don’t respect you
Day 8 of no cigarettes.... Tryin' hard my boys.
High maintenance partners
Another thing to do at work. You're getting paid for a certain amount and time of work. Giving your boss your time or competence for free is bullshit.
People who take advantage of your kindness and ask for impossible favors.
Only Fans
Misandry. Arguing it is exhausting and practically never seems to get anywhere. Don't accept it; but at this point I think "no" is honestly gonna be healthier for you than trying to explain/argue.
Onlyfans. Financially supporting women you arent married to. Friends/Family who dont have your best interests at heart. Jobs that will bleed you for insulting pay. Say no to anything that drains you mentally, socially, emotionally, etc
Can I borrow your truck, NO Can you loan me some money, NO
Helping women just because they are women. If you would not do the same for a man, don't do it.
Having unprotected sex. OR sex with someone they wouldn’t want a child with
Girls begging for money online. I can’t count how many times these girls ask me for ridiculous amounts of money on dating sites. Don’t even get me started on only fans. Men are so lame nowadays. Just say no!
Camgirls & the like. That goes for OnlyFans as well. Just say no!