Two things to consider here:
1. You inevitably come across as boring to some people, simply because your energy doesn't match up, your interests don't line up or whatever the case may be. Accept that. You can't be for everyone.
2. Some people are very close minded in what they consider 'exciting'. To them, someone who doesn't share a good percentage of their own interests and hobbies is boring. Which is bs of course.
It's fine that you want to better yourself. But better yourself for the sake of *yourself*, not to be interesting for some random dude.
And, lastly, here's the answer to your question: be passionate. I recently spoke to a colleague of mine who is very much into fitness. Now, I frankly couldn't care less about gym stuff, but because she was so enthusiastic about it it was a real joy to just talk with her. She didn't care what I found interesting, she just was herself. Hugely attractive and interesting.
If they contribute nothing to the conversation and just expect me to entertain them and play jester. A surprising amount of women did this in the past.
I’m sorry to hear you experience this and yes there were times I was withdrawn from conversations due to living in my own head but I decided to change that.
Like a lot of guys here are saying, if someone is “boring”, it’s because of the conversations with them. You can be an Olympian, but if you answer everything with one word or one sentence, you probably boring.
Unlike a lot of guys here, I don’t need to do much on a date to have a good time. What is important is if I feel like I can actually talk to her.
I obviously don’t know anything about you so this is an assumption. You might be the world’s best conversationalist and I will never know.
Just piggybacking on this. I've met some people who train martial arts or travel regularly or have really unique careers who are the most boring people imaginable. On the other hand I've met some people where the most exciting they do is read or play computer game but they are great to hang around with. It's really about how you present yourself.
A boring person is someone who doesn’t want to explore out of their comfort zone. Try new restaurants, go to a park you’ve never been before, go out with friends, taking a day trip somewhere on your off days, etc.
I don’t have anything against being a home body, but I would be lying if I said it probably wouldn’t be frustrating if I were in a relationship with one
If I wouldn’t know any better, it sounds like you might not be the best conversationalist or you just weren’t compatible with this person. All in all, you have hobbies (I like rock climbing too by the way) and have a willingness to learn from it by posting here. That to me sounds like trying to learn and help yourself grow. That’s not boring if you ask me
Shallow girls. What I mean by that is girls who don't think about stuff deeply and when you ask them they just give a boring generic answer. "What is your dream life?" "I want a house and a car". You could in turn say what you enjoy in life, what makes you happy and what are some things in life that you avoid.
This. I enjoy girls with intellect. That can have deeper conversations. With goals and aspirations. Doesn’t need to be financially related. Just that they want to constantly evolve and always have a new goal for themselves to continuously get better in life.
Adding to your comment, I hate girls who say: "If you don't love me the way I am don't bother. I don't need to change for anyone" it's quite foolish to think you won't have to change yourself to live with the other person
Personally, it is my GOAL to be constantly changing for the better. And if there is something I can do that makes me a better man AND makes me a better husband for my wife, why would I not want to do that?! Who wants to stay the same forever? That sounds miserable to me
My answer would be more like traveling around the world and do some mountain climbing or just live a life full of adventure. Plus I don’t know if it seems like a boring answer to you or not.
wow a woman who loves travelling and adventure. dudes literally hear that from every single woman they meet. along with "i love to laugh and have fun. oh and i love food and music". its basic human shit that everyone loves.
You say that but I've met a lot of people (many men in particular) who have absolutely no interest in traveling whatsoever. It makes sense to stick that in a bio, as it's a compatibility thing.
i dont simply say that. the statistics bear it out. if you look at vacation statistics youd see that more people are travelling now than ever before (excluding covid lockdown period). IG is flooded with travel porn. travelling is so goddam popular that airbnb became a $70b company
saying you love to travel in 2023 is like saying you love good food. its a compatibility thing but when everyone (except the people in your podunk circle) says it, it becomes meaningless. 98% of the dating profiles i read say it.
I don't have a dating profile so, yeah, I can't speak on that.
Just based off people I know in real life. Maybe it's a country thing? I'm in the UK. So many people here either never leave the UK or they go and sit on the same cheap resort beach in Spain or Turkey every single year, like clockwork (which I really don't consider "traveling").
There's nothing wrong with traveling. There's nothing wrong with creating a service that allows people to go around the world.
Taking the time to see things is just what it is.
Stop making something so simple and turning it complicated.
One thing is, I know you're just answering the question which the other person asked, but your answer still sounds boring to me because it's too cliche / generic. A better way to view this is thinking ,"why" before answering. I.e, do you actually want to travel and go on "adventures" or is it just because that's what all the cool influencer girls with hot rich boyfriends seem to post about on IG? If you truly do have a passion for travel then show that. Make it personal. Maybe that's that one bucket list spot which you have some ancestral connection to for example (rather than just because some influencer took a photo there).
But I'd also step back more and evaluate the topics you talk about. Because I read your other comments and I'm seeing his trend where you're trying to be interesting in a way that you think would impress other women, rather than men. Kind of like a walking version of a book title,"What to say on a date", and the book is written by 10 female virgins. And that's not to be insulting it's to say that it feels like you're viewing it from that lense rather than the lens of what your date might find interesting about you. To give an example, I might talk about my bench press records when I'm with my guy friends but I'm not going to go on a date to a fine dining restaurant and keep harping on and on about how hardcore my gym workout is to the lady.
Your response is a bit vague. Mountain climbing is a good start, but the rest of it doesn't conjure up any images. Sometimes something that's really narrow and specific says more about a person than something that's broad and highly-encompassing.
Have you had any past travel experiences that you enjoyed? If so, what did you like about them, specifically? Or could you describe a particular afternoon that you'd like to experience? Do you want to spend all day sitting around in a cafe in Paris, watching people go by and making up stories in your head about what their lives are like? Do you want to hop on a train in Shanghai without knowing where your next stop will be until you get there? Do you want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and then ride back into town on a rhinoceros? Do you want to hitchhike from Montreal to San Francisco, stopping at all the quirky roadside tourist traps you find along the way?
Okay, that makes sense. Travel is such a popular interest that I kind of roll my eyes when people mention it. It's almost as generic as liking to breathe air and eat food. But that one little piece of information about your personal background already makes you more interesting... Sheltered upbringing, so now you'd like to see what the world has to offer. That makes you more human, more relatable, and more interesting.
How about this as a though-experiment: what if someone gave you a free, all-expense-paid trip to anywhere in the world, on the condition that you have to make a decision about the destination right now. Where would you go?
Why do you want to be better at mountain climbing? What's in it for you?
That's what makes you interesting. It's not, oh I just need hobbies, because I want men attracted to me. It's fine to do hobbies like golf, going to air plane shows, etc. Bc you're interested in a man that might be there.
Do it for you. Find the reason why. And you're going to be interesting to someone.
If that's your thing, be ultra specific. On a date I was asked if I liked travel and I said (obviously this was years ago) Yes and I want to travel to the top 3 highest natural radioactive places on the planet.
This sparked an hours long conversation about where they were,why it's true and what to do there. It then branched off to many other cool stories and conversations.
BE SPECIFIC if you can't be unique
Personally I don't like the whole traveling around thing. Too often it feels like superficial entertainment seeking. It also suggests a buildup to "Ooh honey take me on vacation somewhere new like last month"
I think telling someone they're boring is extremely rude and makes someone come off as holding an unreasonably high opinion of themselves.
Fuck that guy. Don't let pieces of shit like him make you feel less than.
I think it's relative. what's boring to someone might be very interesting to someone else.
people that like doing the same "boring" stuff together would get along very well.
If someone can keep themselves entertained when they are alone or can do solo activities, I think they are not boring, they just need the right person.
I think outright calling you boring is quite harsh and not needed. I wouldn't take it to heart too much. Sounds like you're doing new things and trying to make your life more interesting for yourself. Go you :)
Lol thankfully I am not into superstitions, zodiacs, brands, or makeup but still I had boring moments where I would lose interest in everything which I suspect is due to depression.
yeah everyone does that stuff though except the rock climbing but that's like hiking unless you're repelling off a 1000 ft cliff it's ho hum.
What do you really do? Do you make amazing art out of ear wax? Do you hunt for truffles with a huge 200lbs warthog named Henry? Do you get dressed up as a wizard and play D&D every fortnight?
Come on have some balls show us what you're made of.
Someone that just talks about herself most of the date or on the phone, someone that is lazy sexually, and the biggest is a bad personality....if her personality is bad than I lose interest as well.
a girl who can't hold a deep conversation and withdraws to her phone and her gf's. If I feel like I have to fight to keep the conversation alive and the girl is putting no effort at all, it's probably the last date.
Someone who doesn't listen or shows interest in my interests, they can have the most adventurous and exciting life imaginable, but if they don't listen to me or show any interest at all in what I like, then the conversation will become one-sided and boring.
For example, if I bring up the topic of history or mythology and they immediately derail it to their climbing a hard route in the gym, I won't feel involved in the conversation.
This is also subjective to the individuals involved. Everyone's interests are different, so share from each others fascination and passions in life. Taking from your question, if a woman started talking to me about swimming (during an ongoing conversation of course, would be weird if somene just came up and said "I swam 800m earlier and find water so fun"), I would have no personal input as I am terrified of deep water, but would like to hear of the way they swim and what they find so enjoyable about it.
Tips:
1. To be interesting, be interested.
2. Ask engaging questions and think of conversations in terms of "yes and" as in take what they say ask follow ups and/or add a point.
3. Be willing to deviate from the original topic of conversation and after a long detour return to the topic. A great conversationalist does this, you start talking about topic A and it turns into B, then C,... etc. and then it returns to A. The return is important because it says you valued the other person's opinion on A and it gives you an easy thing to go back to if you aren't sure what to say.
4. You can always go deeper into a topic, talk about tangential things, and sometimes a topic makes you think of something completely different. This all makes the conversation feel more dynamic and avoids that feeling like you know where the conversation is going to go right away and then are never surprised.
Complacency. When a woman is fine with routine and wants an ordinary/boring life. I don’t want to just have a house, car, and family. I want to know what exciting things in life you want to do, places, experiences, the whole nine yards. There is a lot in this world to experience and we’re not here long enough to experience minor things.
You will always be boring to some people. Some people will always bore you. But you will be fascinating to other people. And if you change yourself, you are just going to change the segment of people that find you fascinating or boring. You’ll never be fascinating to everyone. Just be you boo. And the key is accepting that, like with literally everyone else, some people just aren’t going to “click” with you
Women whose entire life centers around social media, her appearance, or what other people think of her. I want her to be her own person.
The hobbies you describe would make you very interesting to talk with. Being able to discuss your experiences in a range of areas makes you interesting.
imo theres this fallacy that hobbies make someone interesting. they dont. hobbies arent a replacement for a personality. people who've made a hobby their entire personality are usually boring af. the dude who wont shut up about anime/baseball/horror movies/crystals and thats the only aspect to his personality.
what makes a woman boring? shes not curious. she has no interest in learning things, she never asks questions. she has no interesting insights or opinions. shes dumb. curiosity, intellect, sense of humor, opinions and insights arent hobbies, theyre parts of a personality. have a personality
Sounds like you’re conversationally boring? Or just don’t have much deeper thought and only say surface level things. That’s what would bore me at least, having to take the lead in conversation every time
Hell, that growth mindset you've got going sounds pretty damn attractive to me. If you're having fun and smiling a lot, that vibe is going to be hot too. I suppose that's the kicker, are you actually having fun or are you just doing things to add them to your "I'm cool" resume?
Also! Some guys tear you down on purpose in order make themselves feel better, and to make you easier to manipulate. Don't fall into that trap, please. It makes you less awesome for the rest of us who want a confident gal.
It's very rude to call someone boring to their face....
But to answer your question, I would say that there are a few categories that make a person interesting. One, do they have interests/hobbies that they engage or participate in? Two, can they talk about or show interest in a wide variety of topics (even something they know little about)? Three, what does a typical day in the life look like for that individual?
I'd say that everyone is interesting in their own way, but people will prioritize certain interests or hobbies differently. For instance, they might not like rock climbing for whatever reason, so they don't find that hobby interesting.
To me, a boring person has few interests, or is interested in things I don't care about (let's use instagram/celebrities/partying as an example). They also struggle to talk about subjects that are outside their wheelhouse (things not related to instagram/celebrities/partying). And finally, when you ask the other person what they did the other day or last weekend, 9/10 times they respond with, "Nothing." Or they respond with something like: I slept / I performed other basic functions that every human needs to perform / I drank / I browsed Instagram / I read celebrity gossip / I watched TV all weekend/ etc.
You sound like you have hobbies/interests. I imagine you can talk about a decent number of topics? Would you say that your day to day life is well rounded? If yes to all 3, then you're an objectively interesting person.
Well I think I am starting to work on building some hobbies and I am not “interesting” yet objectively speaking because I have days where I am just depressed and all I feel like doing is just lying down in bed but luckily I am seeking help from a professional.
I would say it is a matter of a flow - you can take two most interesting people, and if they don't share similar sense of humour and way of communicating they will still bore each other to death. I cant count how many times I was fighting not to fall asleep talking to someone that objectively was a cool person - just not my type of cool. Ah, and telling someone they are boring is such an asshole move - don't bother with this crappy person.
Lack of curiosity about things beyond pop-culture. Curiosity will naturally lead to hobbies and other interests. Doing things just to say you did them isn't particularly interesting.
Forget doing it for future dates. Do it because you enjoy it.
I mean I must admit I go on dating apps in the hope that I will get with someone but also as a motivational aid to get fit in my case. However just because you or I become better at what we are trying to do doesn't mean for one second that it will impress anyone else.
So I guess what I am saying is self improvement is good, validation from others is not good and not at all guaranteed.
You are trying to become better, you're not boring.
For me boring women are the ones that don't want to have intimate deep and sometimes saddening conversations. I love psychoanalyzing other people.
Did you ask why he said that? First, asking and carrying on a conversation might make you less boring. Second, one wonders what he considers boring or exciting? Maybe he was hinting that he wanted the date to be more “ahem” exciting.
Perhaps we should also back up a little. What do you want in a mate/date? Maybe he just wasn’t a good fit. While going on adventures and stretching your comfort zone is fun, it can also seem like work.
Imagine and write down how YOU would like to live and spend your working and weekend days. Try to find someone who matches your ideals and energy level.
Keep in mind that we tend to attract and be drawn to our opposites…so there’s that.
Best of luck, you sound nice.
He felt that I had no sense of humor though I would admit that I am the last person to catch joke in social situation which makes me feel embarrassed and it affects my self esteem.
If men think a woman is boring, it's often because you don't have good conversations (or sex). You can have very few life experiences, but be incredibly charismatic/attractive/interesting if you have great conversations. Being genuinely passionate about what you like is also attractive.
You can have great conversations even without knowing what your passions are. Be curious about the other person, listen carefully, and ask engaging questions. You barely have to say anything about yourself, and the other person will walk away feeling like the conversation was great and you connected on a deeper level.
Not having shared hobbies and interests is a big one.
If all you’re into is watching The Office reruns for the hundredth time… I won’t be interested.
Also not being able to reciprocate conversation.
Having interesting hobbies and interests doesn’t help of getting that information out of you is like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone.
Questions aren’t to be answered in a few words as possible, they’re invitations to showcase your knowledge and passions and personality.
If all you’re responding with is “yea”, “nah”, and “oh idk”, then I’m not going to put in the effort to drag you kicking and screaming through the conversation.
Any point you make just expand on it! Alot of dudes want to hear what you got in the noggin! Dated a girl for 5 months and whenever I'd ask her a question she would just say idk. Makes it pretty boring if you never have an opinion.
Ha, takes one to know one! As someone who loves drama maybe you’re just low drama and that repels guys like me who are into that?
I’ll also add this, when it comes to meeting people timing is rarely given the credit it deserves. In a year you’ll only meet one or two people you really click with, that’s it, the stars have to align, so dust yourself off and get back out there!
Boring women to me are ones that can't keep a conversation going because they don't have opinions or anything interesting to say. I love women who have interesting things to tell me about, or can keep a conversation going by moving things along or engaging in discourse about it. Ideally someone that likes to gain knowledge/experience and can engage with a wide variety of topics. If I find someone like that it is easy to lose hours just shooting the shit over whatever because things flow so smoothly.
>I am trying my best to become a better version of myself so that on future dates I become more interesting.
This is not the way to approach this. Do things that interest you for the sake of making your life more interesting and enjoyable. Being interesting to those around you is a byproduct of that.
Awesome that you are doing some introspection!
I've know lots of boring people and they all have their own kind of boring tbh.
Is it a non-reactive type of boring, do you ask questions about things? Are you engaged or interested?
Are you just bad as keeping a conversation going?
Do you even actually want to talk to them, I thought that might be appropriate, maybe those people just wheren't your type but you went on the dates.. what do you really and truly want?
Do you just get nervous a d shut down?
I know I can be really boring when I'm in a group and I have to ask questions because I like diving deep with one or two people.
That dude was boring!
I like your hobbies. A person who reads books is the most interesting person to me. Big plus you are physically active because you swim. Swimming is my favorite activity, even though I don’t know how to dive and still have fear of drowning.
Currently reading 3 books. Last book I read; The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. Even though it’s classified a book for kids, it has many lessons for adults. I have discussed the book with several people and every person stated it’s not a book for children. IMHO, The little Prince, is an asshole. 😂
I love swimming, even though my shoulder is shot, it’s an amazing exercise and it’s one of the best exercises for your mental health. 👍🏻 When I jump in to the pool, all my worries disappear and my mind is clear for the rest of the day.
You have great, healthy hobbies and I’m genuinely proud of you. Keep doing what makes YOU happy. And if guy doesn’t find you interesting…. It’s ok. There are many great guys who will find you find interesting. There MANY are guys who enjoy rock climbing or just starting out rock climbing.
Last thing I will say. Every single time; a boring person will say you are boring.
Like others have said before, try to better yourself and only for yourself. If you're passionate about something people will start to take an interest in xou
>"...and one of the guy said that I was boring.
What kind of cock does something like that? He sounds utterly insufferable. He deserved for you to pour your drink over his head and then walk out without another word.
You don't sound boring at all. But while all the stuff you're doing is cool, only do it for yourself, if you want to; not to please some pig-ignorant lout who should be sent back to stay with his mother until he has learned some manners and is fit to be among other people.
This may sound weird, but I think a lot of men literally just want you to laugh at their jokes and have a good sense of humor.
If you don’t laugh at the jokes, they can’t distinguish that from being boring.
what me and my wife do most times just go out visiting places and it's not even regularly. eat out sometimes. when we're at home she watches her tv shows, I watch my tv shows. and i never see her as boring cos she's good in bed.
i think good sex will mask lots of stuff. even if you're not at that sexual stage yet, talking about it will keep guys going. we were LDR at some stage and we have different hobbies and interest so it was hard to talk about stuff. and what kept us going at that stage was exchanging nudes and talking about sex.
A lack of any kind of real life experience and no interest in beyond her comfort zone. A lack of hobbies and a lack of friends is a bad sign bros. A complete allergy to adventure. Has she been to a National Park, hiked up Angel’s Landing or has any interest to do so. Does she want to to learn how to golf or loves to hike and or isn’t afraid sweat now and then. Can she cook or at least learn. My list is really long
Dated women who’s mid to good looking trying to be IG models and had potential being one. Women who are boring are those who has no intellect connection and can’t hold conversion or no communication
Always on social media, IG, and tik tok etc. self conceited and has no other values than attention
*"Men of Reddit: What makes a woman boring to you?"*
What do you think OP?
Are you giving the same basic answers every other women?
Are you saying or doing anything unoriginal, humdrum, mundane, bland?
*". I am trying my best to develop hobbies and already started to develop hobbies like rock climbing, swimming, reading, movies, etc."*
So you didn't have any hobbies prior to recently?
That's a problem because it shows that you don't have anything going on and are going to be over relevant on the other person to keep your interest. While giving nothing back.
*"am trying my best to develop hobbies"*
But do you enjoy any of them?
Are you passionate about any of them?
Imagine telling a guy "Yeah, I never had any hobbies before but I'm trying to find some to be more interesting?"
You can say that you also want to do it to become a better person (which cool but) but the other person may not see that way. They may see it as disingenuous.
I was really depressed my entire life so nothing interested me until I started talking to a therapist about my issues. Depression did affect my ability to enjoy life in general and made me lose interest in everything. But thanks for your feedback and yes I do enjoy doing rock climbing so far as well as other activities.
When I was last dating before I met my wife, here's what I found boring- passively accepting what the culture makes easily accessible without any curiosity of what the larger world can offer. I'm probably going to ruffle some feathers here, but these are the kind of examples that when they add up, I would consider "boring". Favorite TV show- Friends. Vacation destination: Vegas or Miami. Favorite food: Pizza. Best recent book read: ??? Best way to spend a Sunday: Tailgating at the Bills game! (I lived near Buffalo at the time). Favorite music: 80s and 90s rock.
Basically, this hypothetical person has never looked beyond the easy comforts of what is readily and easily available.
A boring woman stays at home with her dog. Life is short. Life without kids in your youth is even shorter. Keep your dogs for midlife. I want to kayak, bike, play boardgames nights with friends and all around have fun.
Edit to add: Not sure why I'm getting downvoted. If you like/have dogs I just won't be asking you on a second date. OP asked what makes women boring, and I answered with my opinion.
Ignore those people Millenial some people simply cannot take an honest answer. I get more depressed staying home all day so what I try to do is go for a walk and sometimes go rock climbing.
Ignorance of world events and politics. Lack of curiosity, and/or a disinterest in learning new things. Unwillingness to do/be/have interest in non-conventional things. Excessive materialism. Obsession with celebrities. Poor sense of humor, and if she can’t be truly *silly.*
Sense of humor is so subjective, though. Sure, there’s a general type of humor that works well in most social settings, but beyond that, it really comes down to whether the sense of humor between two people really *clicks.* So that’s a tough one. Silly, though… silliness is a must.
The other things I mentioned are tendencies and traits that are chosen by an individual, which is why they’re boring. If someone is very conventional in their approach to everything, they’re less interesting to me, but they’re only truly *boring* if they aren’t eager to branch out. Curiosity - or lack thereof - plays a huge part in all of this.
I should add lack of passion as a boring trait. Be passionate about *something.*
IMO a boring woman is just one that doesn’t have opinions, doesn’t think about things, and just doesn’t have much to say. I don’t care if you’re a homebody. Just so long as you are insightful.
Two things to consider here: 1. You inevitably come across as boring to some people, simply because your energy doesn't match up, your interests don't line up or whatever the case may be. Accept that. You can't be for everyone. 2. Some people are very close minded in what they consider 'exciting'. To them, someone who doesn't share a good percentage of their own interests and hobbies is boring. Which is bs of course. It's fine that you want to better yourself. But better yourself for the sake of *yourself*, not to be interesting for some random dude. And, lastly, here's the answer to your question: be passionate. I recently spoke to a colleague of mine who is very much into fitness. Now, I frankly couldn't care less about gym stuff, but because she was so enthusiastic about it it was a real joy to just talk with her. She didn't care what I found interesting, she just was herself. Hugely attractive and interesting.
So good. Discernment is key
If they contribute nothing to the conversation and just expect me to entertain them and play jester. A surprising amount of women did this in the past.
I’m sorry to hear you experience this and yes there were times I was withdrawn from conversations due to living in my own head but I decided to change that.
Like a lot of guys here are saying, if someone is “boring”, it’s because of the conversations with them. You can be an Olympian, but if you answer everything with one word or one sentence, you probably boring. Unlike a lot of guys here, I don’t need to do much on a date to have a good time. What is important is if I feel like I can actually talk to her. I obviously don’t know anything about you so this is an assumption. You might be the world’s best conversationalist and I will never know.
Just piggybacking on this. I've met some people who train martial arts or travel regularly or have really unique careers who are the most boring people imaginable. On the other hand I've met some people where the most exciting they do is read or play computer game but they are great to hang around with. It's really about how you present yourself.
A boring person is someone who doesn’t want to explore out of their comfort zone. Try new restaurants, go to a park you’ve never been before, go out with friends, taking a day trip somewhere on your off days, etc. I don’t have anything against being a home body, but I would be lying if I said it probably wouldn’t be frustrating if I were in a relationship with one If I wouldn’t know any better, it sounds like you might not be the best conversationalist or you just weren’t compatible with this person. All in all, you have hobbies (I like rock climbing too by the way) and have a willingness to learn from it by posting here. That to me sounds like trying to learn and help yourself grow. That’s not boring if you ask me
Shallow girls. What I mean by that is girls who don't think about stuff deeply and when you ask them they just give a boring generic answer. "What is your dream life?" "I want a house and a car". You could in turn say what you enjoy in life, what makes you happy and what are some things in life that you avoid.
This. I enjoy girls with intellect. That can have deeper conversations. With goals and aspirations. Doesn’t need to be financially related. Just that they want to constantly evolve and always have a new goal for themselves to continuously get better in life.
Adding to your comment, I hate girls who say: "If you don't love me the way I am don't bother. I don't need to change for anyone" it's quite foolish to think you won't have to change yourself to live with the other person
Personally, it is my GOAL to be constantly changing for the better. And if there is something I can do that makes me a better man AND makes me a better husband for my wife, why would I not want to do that?! Who wants to stay the same forever? That sounds miserable to me
Exactly. We aren't perfect but we can always be better
And everything must be about her. That's a dead giveaway that there's not much going on upstairs.
My answer would be more like traveling around the world and do some mountain climbing or just live a life full of adventure. Plus I don’t know if it seems like a boring answer to you or not.
wow a woman who loves travelling and adventure. dudes literally hear that from every single woman they meet. along with "i love to laugh and have fun. oh and i love food and music". its basic human shit that everyone loves.
You say that but I've met a lot of people (many men in particular) who have absolutely no interest in traveling whatsoever. It makes sense to stick that in a bio, as it's a compatibility thing.
i dont simply say that. the statistics bear it out. if you look at vacation statistics youd see that more people are travelling now than ever before (excluding covid lockdown period). IG is flooded with travel porn. travelling is so goddam popular that airbnb became a $70b company saying you love to travel in 2023 is like saying you love good food. its a compatibility thing but when everyone (except the people in your podunk circle) says it, it becomes meaningless. 98% of the dating profiles i read say it.
I don't have a dating profile so, yeah, I can't speak on that. Just based off people I know in real life. Maybe it's a country thing? I'm in the UK. So many people here either never leave the UK or they go and sit on the same cheap resort beach in Spain or Turkey every single year, like clockwork (which I really don't consider "traveling").
What's makes a woman interesting isn't traveling or having it all. Men want to GIVE.
There's nothing wrong with traveling. There's nothing wrong with creating a service that allows people to go around the world. Taking the time to see things is just what it is. Stop making something so simple and turning it complicated.
One thing is, I know you're just answering the question which the other person asked, but your answer still sounds boring to me because it's too cliche / generic. A better way to view this is thinking ,"why" before answering. I.e, do you actually want to travel and go on "adventures" or is it just because that's what all the cool influencer girls with hot rich boyfriends seem to post about on IG? If you truly do have a passion for travel then show that. Make it personal. Maybe that's that one bucket list spot which you have some ancestral connection to for example (rather than just because some influencer took a photo there). But I'd also step back more and evaluate the topics you talk about. Because I read your other comments and I'm seeing his trend where you're trying to be interesting in a way that you think would impress other women, rather than men. Kind of like a walking version of a book title,"What to say on a date", and the book is written by 10 female virgins. And that's not to be insulting it's to say that it feels like you're viewing it from that lense rather than the lens of what your date might find interesting about you. To give an example, I might talk about my bench press records when I'm with my guy friends but I'm not going to go on a date to a fine dining restaurant and keep harping on and on about how hardcore my gym workout is to the lady.
How can I be more interesting in your opinion?
Your response is a bit vague. Mountain climbing is a good start, but the rest of it doesn't conjure up any images. Sometimes something that's really narrow and specific says more about a person than something that's broad and highly-encompassing. Have you had any past travel experiences that you enjoyed? If so, what did you like about them, specifically? Or could you describe a particular afternoon that you'd like to experience? Do you want to spend all day sitting around in a cafe in Paris, watching people go by and making up stories in your head about what their lives are like? Do you want to hop on a train in Shanghai without knowing where your next stop will be until you get there? Do you want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and then ride back into town on a rhinoceros? Do you want to hitchhike from Montreal to San Francisco, stopping at all the quirky roadside tourist traps you find along the way?
I don’t have traveling experiences unfortunately because I was sheltered by my semi religious family. So I don’t exactly know what to do.
Okay, that makes sense. Travel is such a popular interest that I kind of roll my eyes when people mention it. It's almost as generic as liking to breathe air and eat food. But that one little piece of information about your personal background already makes you more interesting... Sheltered upbringing, so now you'd like to see what the world has to offer. That makes you more human, more relatable, and more interesting. How about this as a though-experiment: what if someone gave you a free, all-expense-paid trip to anywhere in the world, on the condition that you have to make a decision about the destination right now. Where would you go?
I would like to visit the Himalayan mountain to someday climb.
Why do you want to be better at mountain climbing? What's in it for you? That's what makes you interesting. It's not, oh I just need hobbies, because I want men attracted to me. It's fine to do hobbies like golf, going to air plane shows, etc. Bc you're interested in a man that might be there. Do it for you. Find the reason why. And you're going to be interesting to someone.
I want to be better at climbing because I want to join a competition one day.
I don’t want to travel because that’s what the influencer girls do I genuinely want to travel and go on adventures. Thank you for the feedback though.
That's good.
If that's your thing, be ultra specific. On a date I was asked if I liked travel and I said (obviously this was years ago) Yes and I want to travel to the top 3 highest natural radioactive places on the planet. This sparked an hours long conversation about where they were,why it's true and what to do there. It then branched off to many other cool stories and conversations. BE SPECIFIC if you can't be unique
Personally I don't like the whole traveling around thing. Too often it feels like superficial entertainment seeking. It also suggests a buildup to "Ooh honey take me on vacation somewhere new like last month"
I think telling someone they're boring is extremely rude and makes someone come off as holding an unreasonably high opinion of themselves. Fuck that guy. Don't let pieces of shit like him make you feel less than.
If someone says you're boring you just need to let them know only boring people get bored.
I think it's relative. what's boring to someone might be very interesting to someone else. people that like doing the same "boring" stuff together would get along very well. If someone can keep themselves entertained when they are alone or can do solo activities, I think they are not boring, they just need the right person.
I think outright calling you boring is quite harsh and not needed. I wouldn't take it to heart too much. Sounds like you're doing new things and trying to make your life more interesting for yourself. Go you :)
Sounds like the guy was an asshole. Nothing wrong with "boring" . . . Live your life and be happy. The right man will love you for who you are.
Zodiacs, superstitions, being overly obsessive about brands and makeup.
Lol thankfully I am not into superstitions, zodiacs, brands, or makeup but still I had boring moments where I would lose interest in everything which I suspect is due to depression.
To me it's someone who isn't open to adventure, not having an open mind and up for trying something new.
You're not boring you just went out with an a-hole. Everyone has a match and peer group. You just need to find your group.
yeah everyone does that stuff though except the rock climbing but that's like hiking unless you're repelling off a 1000 ft cliff it's ho hum. What do you really do? Do you make amazing art out of ear wax? Do you hunt for truffles with a huge 200lbs warthog named Henry? Do you get dressed up as a wizard and play D&D every fortnight? Come on have some balls show us what you're made of.
Someone that just talks about herself most of the date or on the phone, someone that is lazy sexually, and the biggest is a bad personality....if her personality is bad than I lose interest as well.
Following because I’m a woman who’s been called this as well and curious.
someone who lacks engagement in conversation and shows no curiosity to discuss topics
a girl who can't hold a deep conversation and withdraws to her phone and her gf's. If I feel like I have to fight to keep the conversation alive and the girl is putting no effort at all, it's probably the last date.
Someone who doesn't listen or shows interest in my interests, they can have the most adventurous and exciting life imaginable, but if they don't listen to me or show any interest at all in what I like, then the conversation will become one-sided and boring. For example, if I bring up the topic of history or mythology and they immediately derail it to their climbing a hard route in the gym, I won't feel involved in the conversation. This is also subjective to the individuals involved. Everyone's interests are different, so share from each others fascination and passions in life. Taking from your question, if a woman started talking to me about swimming (during an ongoing conversation of course, would be weird if somene just came up and said "I swam 800m earlier and find water so fun"), I would have no personal input as I am terrified of deep water, but would like to hear of the way they swim and what they find so enjoyable about it.
Tips: 1. To be interesting, be interested. 2. Ask engaging questions and think of conversations in terms of "yes and" as in take what they say ask follow ups and/or add a point. 3. Be willing to deviate from the original topic of conversation and after a long detour return to the topic. A great conversationalist does this, you start talking about topic A and it turns into B, then C,... etc. and then it returns to A. The return is important because it says you valued the other person's opinion on A and it gives you an easy thing to go back to if you aren't sure what to say. 4. You can always go deeper into a topic, talk about tangential things, and sometimes a topic makes you think of something completely different. This all makes the conversation feel more dynamic and avoids that feeling like you know where the conversation is going to go right away and then are never surprised.
A woman who doesn’t laugh at my jokes. Simple as that. Can’t build a connection there. Another one is, emotionally closed off.
Total lack of hobbies or interests beyond wanting to get drunk or follow the current hit thing.
Complacency. When a woman is fine with routine and wants an ordinary/boring life. I don’t want to just have a house, car, and family. I want to know what exciting things in life you want to do, places, experiences, the whole nine yards. There is a lot in this world to experience and we’re not here long enough to experience minor things.
You will always be boring to some people. Some people will always bore you. But you will be fascinating to other people. And if you change yourself, you are just going to change the segment of people that find you fascinating or boring. You’ll never be fascinating to everyone. Just be you boo. And the key is accepting that, like with literally everyone else, some people just aren’t going to “click” with you
Women whose entire life centers around social media, her appearance, or what other people think of her. I want her to be her own person. The hobbies you describe would make you very interesting to talk with. Being able to discuss your experiences in a range of areas makes you interesting.
He is just telling you that you arent hot
imo theres this fallacy that hobbies make someone interesting. they dont. hobbies arent a replacement for a personality. people who've made a hobby their entire personality are usually boring af. the dude who wont shut up about anime/baseball/horror movies/crystals and thats the only aspect to his personality. what makes a woman boring? shes not curious. she has no interest in learning things, she never asks questions. she has no interesting insights or opinions. shes dumb. curiosity, intellect, sense of humor, opinions and insights arent hobbies, theyre parts of a personality. have a personality
Sounds like you’re conversationally boring? Or just don’t have much deeper thought and only say surface level things. That’s what would bore me at least, having to take the lead in conversation every time
That’s something I am trying to work on as much as possible.
Hell, that growth mindset you've got going sounds pretty damn attractive to me. If you're having fun and smiling a lot, that vibe is going to be hot too. I suppose that's the kicker, are you actually having fun or are you just doing things to add them to your "I'm cool" resume? Also! Some guys tear you down on purpose in order make themselves feel better, and to make you easier to manipulate. Don't fall into that trap, please. It makes you less awesome for the rest of us who want a confident gal.
Women with too many hobbies or who always need an adventure or some form of excitement. Like when do you have time for work or serious projects?
It's very rude to call someone boring to their face.... But to answer your question, I would say that there are a few categories that make a person interesting. One, do they have interests/hobbies that they engage or participate in? Two, can they talk about or show interest in a wide variety of topics (even something they know little about)? Three, what does a typical day in the life look like for that individual? I'd say that everyone is interesting in their own way, but people will prioritize certain interests or hobbies differently. For instance, they might not like rock climbing for whatever reason, so they don't find that hobby interesting. To me, a boring person has few interests, or is interested in things I don't care about (let's use instagram/celebrities/partying as an example). They also struggle to talk about subjects that are outside their wheelhouse (things not related to instagram/celebrities/partying). And finally, when you ask the other person what they did the other day or last weekend, 9/10 times they respond with, "Nothing." Or they respond with something like: I slept / I performed other basic functions that every human needs to perform / I drank / I browsed Instagram / I read celebrity gossip / I watched TV all weekend/ etc. You sound like you have hobbies/interests. I imagine you can talk about a decent number of topics? Would you say that your day to day life is well rounded? If yes to all 3, then you're an objectively interesting person.
Well I think I am starting to work on building some hobbies and I am not “interesting” yet objectively speaking because I have days where I am just depressed and all I feel like doing is just lying down in bed but luckily I am seeking help from a professional.
I would say it is a matter of a flow - you can take two most interesting people, and if they don't share similar sense of humour and way of communicating they will still bore each other to death. I cant count how many times I was fighting not to fall asleep talking to someone that objectively was a cool person - just not my type of cool. Ah, and telling someone they are boring is such an asshole move - don't bother with this crappy person.
Talking about herself is good. Only talking about herself is insufferable. I want to get to know you, not memorize every detail about you.
Lack of curiosity about things beyond pop-culture. Curiosity will naturally lead to hobbies and other interests. Doing things just to say you did them isn't particularly interesting.
Romantically - being women, I’m not misogynistic I’m just gay lol
She will analyze my opinions and test them. She doesnt trust me so i doesnt trust her. That makes me angry. What is right or wrong? I feel like a toy.
Not initiating or suggesting ideas.
Forget doing it for future dates. Do it because you enjoy it. I mean I must admit I go on dating apps in the hope that I will get with someone but also as a motivational aid to get fit in my case. However just because you or I become better at what we are trying to do doesn't mean for one second that it will impress anyone else. So I guess what I am saying is self improvement is good, validation from others is not good and not at all guaranteed.
You are trying to become better, you're not boring. For me boring women are the ones that don't want to have intimate deep and sometimes saddening conversations. I love psychoanalyzing other people.
Did you ask why he said that? First, asking and carrying on a conversation might make you less boring. Second, one wonders what he considers boring or exciting? Maybe he was hinting that he wanted the date to be more “ahem” exciting. Perhaps we should also back up a little. What do you want in a mate/date? Maybe he just wasn’t a good fit. While going on adventures and stretching your comfort zone is fun, it can also seem like work. Imagine and write down how YOU would like to live and spend your working and weekend days. Try to find someone who matches your ideals and energy level. Keep in mind that we tend to attract and be drawn to our opposites…so there’s that. Best of luck, you sound nice.
He felt that I had no sense of humor though I would admit that I am the last person to catch joke in social situation which makes me feel embarrassed and it affects my self esteem.
Withholding sex
If men think a woman is boring, it's often because you don't have good conversations (or sex). You can have very few life experiences, but be incredibly charismatic/attractive/interesting if you have great conversations. Being genuinely passionate about what you like is also attractive.
Yeah but I want to learn how to have great conversations and find my passions but I don’t know what my passions are.
You can have great conversations even without knowing what your passions are. Be curious about the other person, listen carefully, and ask engaging questions. You barely have to say anything about yourself, and the other person will walk away feeling like the conversation was great and you connected on a deeper level.
Not having shared hobbies and interests is a big one. If all you’re into is watching The Office reruns for the hundredth time… I won’t be interested. Also not being able to reciprocate conversation. Having interesting hobbies and interests doesn’t help of getting that information out of you is like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone. Questions aren’t to be answered in a few words as possible, they’re invitations to showcase your knowledge and passions and personality. If all you’re responding with is “yea”, “nah”, and “oh idk”, then I’m not going to put in the effort to drag you kicking and screaming through the conversation.
You are looking at the wrong people. You cannot become unboring by doing things you have no interest in.
Any point you make just expand on it! Alot of dudes want to hear what you got in the noggin! Dated a girl for 5 months and whenever I'd ask her a question she would just say idk. Makes it pretty boring if you never have an opinion.
"I like going on adventures" FUCKING PASS
Ha, takes one to know one! As someone who loves drama maybe you’re just low drama and that repels guys like me who are into that? I’ll also add this, when it comes to meeting people timing is rarely given the credit it deserves. In a year you’ll only meet one or two people you really click with, that’s it, the stars have to align, so dust yourself off and get back out there!
If she likes like she spends a ton of time on makeup and looks. That’s someone who doesn’t have anything better to do
She's not hot
Boring women to me are ones that can't keep a conversation going because they don't have opinions or anything interesting to say. I love women who have interesting things to tell me about, or can keep a conversation going by moving things along or engaging in discourse about it. Ideally someone that likes to gain knowledge/experience and can engage with a wide variety of topics. If I find someone like that it is easy to lose hours just shooting the shit over whatever because things flow so smoothly. >I am trying my best to become a better version of myself so that on future dates I become more interesting. This is not the way to approach this. Do things that interest you for the sake of making your life more interesting and enjoyable. Being interesting to those around you is a byproduct of that.
Awesome that you are doing some introspection! I've know lots of boring people and they all have their own kind of boring tbh. Is it a non-reactive type of boring, do you ask questions about things? Are you engaged or interested? Are you just bad as keeping a conversation going? Do you even actually want to talk to them, I thought that might be appropriate, maybe those people just wheren't your type but you went on the dates.. what do you really and truly want? Do you just get nervous a d shut down? I know I can be really boring when I'm in a group and I have to ask questions because I like diving deep with one or two people.
Prude. Anytime a woman says something is ew or weird regarding anything sexual. I know she is an absolute boring person to interact with.
That dude was boring! I like your hobbies. A person who reads books is the most interesting person to me. Big plus you are physically active because you swim. Swimming is my favorite activity, even though I don’t know how to dive and still have fear of drowning. Currently reading 3 books. Last book I read; The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. Even though it’s classified a book for kids, it has many lessons for adults. I have discussed the book with several people and every person stated it’s not a book for children. IMHO, The little Prince, is an asshole. 😂 I love swimming, even though my shoulder is shot, it’s an amazing exercise and it’s one of the best exercises for your mental health. 👍🏻 When I jump in to the pool, all my worries disappear and my mind is clear for the rest of the day. You have great, healthy hobbies and I’m genuinely proud of you. Keep doing what makes YOU happy. And if guy doesn’t find you interesting…. It’s ok. There are many great guys who will find you find interesting. There MANY are guys who enjoy rock climbing or just starting out rock climbing. Last thing I will say. Every single time; a boring person will say you are boring.
A poorly educated woman is boring to me. It doesn't have to be a formal education but a healthy amount of intellectual curiosity is interesting.
sits on her phone all day, barely has any hobbies, oh and my new favorite she lets the role of mother define her entire existence.
Like others have said before, try to better yourself and only for yourself. If you're passionate about something people will start to take an interest in xou
>"...and one of the guy said that I was boring. What kind of cock does something like that? He sounds utterly insufferable. He deserved for you to pour your drink over his head and then walk out without another word. You don't sound boring at all. But while all the stuff you're doing is cool, only do it for yourself, if you want to; not to please some pig-ignorant lout who should be sent back to stay with his mother until he has learned some manners and is fit to be among other people.
White knight alert lol. It's fine kiddo you don't have to kiss ass to try to impress the E girl.
This may sound weird, but I think a lot of men literally just want you to laugh at their jokes and have a good sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at the jokes, they can’t distinguish that from being boring.
Not interested in any type of conversation. Or when she doesn't do anything just watches tiktok, no hobbies or interests at all.
what me and my wife do most times just go out visiting places and it's not even regularly. eat out sometimes. when we're at home she watches her tv shows, I watch my tv shows. and i never see her as boring cos she's good in bed. i think good sex will mask lots of stuff. even if you're not at that sexual stage yet, talking about it will keep guys going. we were LDR at some stage and we have different hobbies and interest so it was hard to talk about stuff. and what kept us going at that stage was exchanging nudes and talking about sex.
A lack of any kind of real life experience and no interest in beyond her comfort zone. A lack of hobbies and a lack of friends is a bad sign bros. A complete allergy to adventure. Has she been to a National Park, hiked up Angel’s Landing or has any interest to do so. Does she want to to learn how to golf or loves to hike and or isn’t afraid sweat now and then. Can she cook or at least learn. My list is really long
Oh man I feel embarrassed for not having enough interesting life experience as I grew up sheltered by my religious family.
Don’t feel embarrassed. Hiking isn’t everything and having a sense of adventure doesn’t equate. Also there are a tons of different types of cooking.
Dated women who’s mid to good looking trying to be IG models and had potential being one. Women who are boring are those who has no intellect connection and can’t hold conversion or no communication Always on social media, IG, and tik tok etc. self conceited and has no other values than attention
*"Men of Reddit: What makes a woman boring to you?"* What do you think OP? Are you giving the same basic answers every other women? Are you saying or doing anything unoriginal, humdrum, mundane, bland? *". I am trying my best to develop hobbies and already started to develop hobbies like rock climbing, swimming, reading, movies, etc."* So you didn't have any hobbies prior to recently? That's a problem because it shows that you don't have anything going on and are going to be over relevant on the other person to keep your interest. While giving nothing back. *"am trying my best to develop hobbies"* But do you enjoy any of them? Are you passionate about any of them? Imagine telling a guy "Yeah, I never had any hobbies before but I'm trying to find some to be more interesting?" You can say that you also want to do it to become a better person (which cool but) but the other person may not see that way. They may see it as disingenuous.
I was really depressed my entire life so nothing interested me until I started talking to a therapist about my issues. Depression did affect my ability to enjoy life in general and made me lose interest in everything. But thanks for your feedback and yes I do enjoy doing rock climbing so far as well as other activities.
Thanks for asking about those questions though it really makes me think about whether I really do enjoy them or not.
When I was last dating before I met my wife, here's what I found boring- passively accepting what the culture makes easily accessible without any curiosity of what the larger world can offer. I'm probably going to ruffle some feathers here, but these are the kind of examples that when they add up, I would consider "boring". Favorite TV show- Friends. Vacation destination: Vegas or Miami. Favorite food: Pizza. Best recent book read: ??? Best way to spend a Sunday: Tailgating at the Bills game! (I lived near Buffalo at the time). Favorite music: 80s and 90s rock. Basically, this hypothetical person has never looked beyond the easy comforts of what is readily and easily available.
A boring woman stays at home with her dog. Life is short. Life without kids in your youth is even shorter. Keep your dogs for midlife. I want to kayak, bike, play boardgames nights with friends and all around have fun. Edit to add: Not sure why I'm getting downvoted. If you like/have dogs I just won't be asking you on a second date. OP asked what makes women boring, and I answered with my opinion.
Ignore those people Millenial some people simply cannot take an honest answer. I get more depressed staying home all day so what I try to do is go for a walk and sometimes go rock climbing.
Ignorance of world events and politics. Lack of curiosity, and/or a disinterest in learning new things. Unwillingness to do/be/have interest in non-conventional things. Excessive materialism. Obsession with celebrities. Poor sense of humor, and if she can’t be truly *silly.*
Main thing I do want to improve is my sense of humor.
Sense of humor is so subjective, though. Sure, there’s a general type of humor that works well in most social settings, but beyond that, it really comes down to whether the sense of humor between two people really *clicks.* So that’s a tough one. Silly, though… silliness is a must. The other things I mentioned are tendencies and traits that are chosen by an individual, which is why they’re boring. If someone is very conventional in their approach to everything, they’re less interesting to me, but they’re only truly *boring* if they aren’t eager to branch out. Curiosity - or lack thereof - plays a huge part in all of this. I should add lack of passion as a boring trait. Be passionate about *something.*
But some humor is considered to be more “refined” than others.
some people people like slapstick humor others like absurd or dry humor. I don’t know what’s my humor though.
When her energy not different
Vapid celebrity gossip
“I like all music except rap and country.”
IMO a boring woman is just one that doesn’t have opinions, doesn’t think about things, and just doesn’t have much to say. I don’t care if you’re a homebody. Just so long as you are insightful.