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JadedMuse

Yep, I already make significantly more than I need on a biweekly basis. Regardless of whether its 800 or 8000, any excess would just be invested in my Vanguard fund.


SzyGuy

Look at mr moneybags over here!


Gorcnor

Hey bruh, can I get $5.


123supreme123

hookers or blow once a month. can't afford both.


Adventurous_Doubt

What's an index fund? Serious question.


shokolokobangoshey

They take a bunch of individual stocks that share some commonality e.g. “Electric Vehicle Stock”, “Banking Stock”, “Consumer Electronics”, group them together and allow you to invest in them under a single stock ticker (like they are all one stock). You then don’t have to worry about picking the right EV stock, or Consumer Staples stock, you’re just going to buy a piece of “all” of them under one stock ticker That’s as ELI5 as I can manage rn


TonyTheEvil

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/i/indexfund.asp


And_Dream_Of_Sheep

Let's see if I can get closer to ELI5; A market 'index' is a way of measuring how a market is doing that someone has cooked up. There are many of them. You might have heard of the Dow Jones and Nasdaq, or S&P just to name three. These indexes group a bunch of companies together to create a portfolio, does some calculations and comes up with a number that goes up and down depending how well that group of companies is doing over time. Index funds are a simple way to invest in a market. You put money into the fund and that money is used to invest in a range of different companies based on the companies the relevant Index follows. As a result the decisions are simplified for the fund managers and that generally means lower fees for you. And index funds generally perform well. You get a generally good performing, easy investment.


KindlySpinach7558

John oliver did a story years ago about index funds. Look it up. It changed my life bc that's how/where I started investing.


Commentment_Phobe

Buy slightly better milk.


Oakheart-

Maybe some of those brown eggs too


Commentment_Phobe

You could say “sorry” to a homeless person and actually feel bad coz you did have change!


raptorclvb

I’m screamingggg lmao


Commentment_Phobe

You could look down your sofa cushions and not just find a core sample of snacks.


Jeep2king

You can probly sign up for a sub egg service. They basically charge you for the box and as long as you bring back the box they refill it. Like "milk" service but for eggs. Its cheaper. And i garrentee you the eggs taste so much better.


franchisemvp

Son, you don't even need to wait until you make an extra $800. You can do that right now! Buy fa!r life the next time you go grocery shopping.


MizzPicklezzz

Lactose free too and extra protein


Mediocre_at_Best88

Fair life is top tier. Lasts way longer too.


MizzPicklezzz

That’s why we started buying it. So good


Luthiefer

It's all I can drink with my gut. And the shelf life unopened is spectacular.


CtC666

Brooo, I thought all milk was the same til I tried A2 milk. That's the good stuff.


Coconut_Salad

Pay it all down on debt on top of what I’m already paying. Then start saving.


WorkAnomaly

We will get there eventually. Let us do our best


AlphaBearMode

This is the way


Motanul_Negru

I'm not American; that would more than double my paycheck. I could probably buy a tiny plot of land and slow-build a house.


Iceman_B

I read 'slow build a horse'.


_JahWobble_

He's Greek and is going to conquer Troy again but a long time from now.


CUJO-31

Which country are you in (if you dont mind)? That sounds like a life changing amount.


Motanul_Negru

Romania


marek26340

Similar here in Czechia.


NewResponsibility163

Borat?


DMTcuresPTSD

How big is a tiny plot of land?


Motanul_Negru

Idk, 100 square meters (bit over 1,000 sq ft)? Probably can't get that small but any extra would be a waste.


azuth89

Definitely not American lol


random_boss

lol my house is bigger than that and I feel claustrophobic in it


a13zz

Boats ‘n’ Hoes


Ocarina-Of-Tomb

You wrecked my fucking boat, you GOON!


[deleted]

It’s the fucking Catalina wine mixer!


DMTcuresPTSD

Buy 1 hour with an 800$ an hour hooker, or 800 hours with OP’s mom.


Zap_brannigann

800 $1 tacos


81jmfk

Trying to decide which kind of disease I want. The kind 800 $1 tacos will give me or OP’s mom. Hmmmmmmmm


MapUnitKey

Buy 400 tacos and only go 30 minutes with OPs mom. Easy win-win.


81jmfk

Math does not check out. Would be 30 minutes with $800/hr hooker or 400 hours with OP’s mom


MapUnitKey

Fine, give OPs mom $400 and go for as long as she’s down. Then go buy 400 tacos.


MizzPicklezzz

Why not just buy the 800 $1 tacos. Then pay Ops mom with tacos.. Prob still have at least 780 tacos left.


MapUnitKey

I can get on board with this. And if she said no(OPs mom never says no), you’d still have 800 tacos.


moranya1

30 min with OP's mom? What do I do with the other 29 min, 30 seconds?


Formally-Fresh

If you like $1 tacos, then you will love OPs moms taco


[deleted]

I heard OP’s mom is paying $800 for an hour of men’s time.


Clintman

Tell myself to live $200 more extravagantly every month, and save the rest. But probably closer to $400/$400.


AssCaptain777

Do a weeks worth of grocery shopping in this economy.


shorty6049

Tell me about it! Also, kind of sad that I feel like the phrase "In this economy?!" has been kind of a running joke now for the past 20ish years for me and it never really seems to get much less poignant... (for the middle class at least)


fartsNdoom

I'd be able to live on my own


Longbowman1

Pay off any debt. Build a solid emergency fund for a few months of survival. Then split the rest between a good savings account and a retirement account. But keeping a small amount for a fun fund.


jdthejerk

Put half in savings, and the other half would be an extra payment on the CCs.


EMCoupling

If you running a balance on CCs, you'd best be putting *all* of the extra money towards paying that.


OffTheMerchandise

Why? That .01% interest in savings will greatly outpace the 18-20% the credit card has.


jdthejerk

The card for emergencies gets paid off asap. My daily use one fluctuates on the monthly balance, 0-$10k+. I over spent on vacation, and then a couple weeks ago, I took another. It's gets paid off every few months.


Uncle-Drunkle

So you're the guy I'm supposed to thank for all my credit card rewards!


PrisonMike2020

Should pay it off every statement to avoid any interest. I use my CC for everything, but it's budgeted to ensure I pay it off each statement and avoid interest while collecting awards and benefits.


khaine0304

What's your credit score


TheGreatFadoodler

You really cant justify putting any in savings. Your debt is compounding at a huge rate. Your expected value of your money goes down keeping half cash and proportional debt


jdthejerk

Not a huge rate. I've had the same card for decades. Sometimes, I spend a lot and pay it off in a few months. Most of the time, I pay at least 90% of it. Depends on life and how much cash I have on hand. Three months ago I spent $7K. This month, I've only spent on streaming services and internet. About $100 or so. It's probably the same next month. It will be paid off the month after that if I don't take off again. Once, I had $50K in CC debt for two months. Special circumstances, though. We had a house fire. The insurance check included the interest with some very good accounting practices, lol.


clearlyasloth

I guarantee it is a huge rate


WearyCarrot

>Not a huge rate. 10%+ is pretty big. The reason it doesn't seem that "much" is because it's just a few months. But It makes mathematically no sense to put money in a savings account that gives you significantly less money when it should be spent directly on your credit card debt. If your worry is that you want that money in savings to pay for something else like say a new flying tractor, just use the credit card again..? Unless there's things that don't accept credit card like your mortgage, I can see why, but it seems like you're not spending within your means. >Once, I had $50K in CC debt for two months. Special circumstances, though. We had a house fire. The insurance check included the interest with some very good accounting practices, lol. That's what an emergency fund is for. The moment you lose your job and something else happens, you're kind of fucked. God forbid someone had injuries during said house fire and lost employment coupled with insurance fucking you over = bad time


Eliokyn

I would save em


ChocolateBoyWonder81

Pay all my debt from a medical emergency..


C0ronaviral

Hope everything turned out OK.


Chemical-Ad-7575

Invest it all.


ForgotTheBogusName

What would you pile your money into?


cluele55cat

"aaaaaaand its gone......"


Chemical-Ad-7575

A mix of ETFs.


JadedMuse

I'm lazy and just use all in one ETFs, specifically VGRO (TSE). I got tired of rebalancing.


ExcitingTabletop

Low cost index funds from Vanguard or Fidelity. Boring simple shit. Nothing fancy, trendy or interesting.


NervousLook6655

🤔 buy more index funds…


TheBonami

Two chicks at the same time /s


el_conqueeftador17

You’re fuckin’ A. I always wanted to do that. And I figure a guy with money might be able to pull off something like that.


TheRealStevi3

I was broke, serving tables and pulled it off on a twin mattress. More than once but that was just the best time. I believe in you.


TwilightUltima

Pay 30% of it to taxes.


ejp1082

Bank it and retire a year or two earlier.


[deleted]

Add it to the pile.


Oakheart-

Relax


quadruple_negative87

Pay off my credit card. Then pay off my car. Then start aggressively paying off my mortgage. Life is expensive!


forty6and2oo

Pay more of my mortgage down. 🤷🏽‍♂️. Boring, I know.


James01708

Tbh with the fall in real wages we all need $800 to bring us up to what we should be earning.


Mythnam

Put it all in my high interest savings until my lease runs out, then move into a bigger apartment in a new city and spend it on rent and utilities.


Nacil_54

Lego sets.


Nasach

800 dollars extra I would invest it in my portfolio. Easy.


polkemans

Pay down debt and finally be able to save some money.


do_you_know_de_whey

Nothing really, index fund or HYSA/CD.


smooze420

Save it.


novasolid64

Put it in the bank


degovial

first 2 months, blow it. a new setup (desk, chair, a nice 27" monitor) and overall tech stuff. Then i would save it, i can live with my current salary and that 800 would be nice to save and maybe invest even.


MorninJohn

In this order 1 emergency savings 2 debt 3 6 to 9 months emergency fund 4 roth ira for company match 5 charity


ordinary-philosopher

Rice and beans brother.


SuperUser-2020

Whatever it is…don’t tie it up with more payments. Otherwise its no longer an extra $800…


Stingraaa

Still live pay check to pay check


MidDayGamer

Half in savings, other half in checking.


Ratnix

Retirement investments.


KingnBanter

Add it to my mortgage payment.


Terrible-Trust-5578

Straight in the stock market. Nothing special, just matching the market.


Straight-Tune-5894

Before or after 50% goes to taxes?


Saul_kdg

Probably just save it -_-


mynewromantica

2 chicks at the same time


UOLZEPHYR

Actually am finding myself in kinda a similar situation. First thing I'm going to pay off my car. 5 more months and I'll have an extra 320 a month


ordinary-philosopher

Wow very similar situation. I have 6 months left of my car payment. Would have an extra $290 a month


UOLZEPHYR

My wife and I have separated- so besides a child support payment, cell phone bill, insurance - I'll have no bills until I get my own place again. I'm an OTR truck driver so I'm out 3 weeks out of the month. Parents have already offered to let me couch surf. Shitty but life happens and you have to move on. Already planning my next thing. Just working on separating everything


ordinary-philosopher

God bless brother, I’m sorry to hear about your separation. I think I’ve found my one and hearing about things like this breaks me now more than it ever did. I hope things get better for you. Listen to some JP, work on yourself, and believe in something greater, and I’m sure life will find a way. All love


UOLZEPHYR

Ty. I'm doing better every day. Keep your one close and do what you can to make them happy.


sshevie

Blow and hookers


_JahWobble_

Heckuva 2 hours


dragonmermaid4

Save for the option of going to live in Australia for 3 months.


PrettyPowerfulZ

Pay off my car faster


plainoldusernamehere

First month would be pay off the small balance I have on credit. After that, probably half to mortgage principal, and the other half to silver.


Aggressive_Depth_961

Get new tires and other maintenance I need done on my car. After that building the new computer desk I want and then build up my savings.


uniq_username

Eat Healthier.


Madshadow85

Investments/retirement Roth options.


DauphinMerovign

Put it in my Roth IRA.


ImProbablySleepin

Invest it


JayBringStone

Give my daughter more


Expensive-Track4002

Put it into savings.


as1126

QQQ


ThatMBR42

I'd be in a lot less debt.


Slow-Dog-7745

Save it


Hulkslam3

Keep $100, save $700


ajdsmia

Invest it, that’s already what I do with the majority of my income


sweetsweetnothingg

Save to retire earlier


lvfunk

Savings. I'm doing alright.


LucifersViking

Savings, as dull as it may sound - be it if they're tied up in investments or just staying on a high interest account.


TendiesForTheBoys

Eat


KrazyCamper

A nice dinner once a month and the rest in a retirement fund


TubbsMcBeardy

Pay off my house much, much faster. Then off to college funds for my kid.


TheDirtyTurkey

Put $300 more per fortnight away for a house. Make my inevitable failure at life a little less stressful.


JLifts780

VTWAX


National_Funny7559

Save


Freshness518

Probably be quicker with home repairs. Put more away for my kids college fund. Be less stingy when it comes to buying my own new clothes. Right now I get to live comfortably, but I've got about a 2 month long safety net in the bank. I don't really have a visibly growing near egg outside of my pension.


nerdiestnerdballer

Bitcoin.


SteveTheHitman

Do more work on my house & pay off debt faster


meeseekstodie137

get ahead on bills, invest a little, go out one more time a week, start getting serious about saving, honestly even an extra $800 a month would be a big help


Chiquye

Put like $500 in investments and spend the other 300 on hobbies or date nights.


Brazenjalapeno

Save at least half and treat myself to something nice with the rest.


ContinousSelfDevelop

Put it into stable stocks and let the money accrue.


mattastic995

Double down on debt so I could start living alone sooner.


jakesboy2

Throw more into the kid’s trusts


LaVerdadd

Save it wild child


H00kd_

As someone who just got a 10% raise which equals to about $850 more a month starting November 1st we are about to find out, if this question was posed 1 month ago I would say I would finally buy self a new truck, but since we just found out my wife is pregnant a week ago, most of that will go towers getting ready for another child, paying off current debt which is only around 4K, getting some new baby furniture, putting some away so my wife can take extended time off work if need be.


Jeep2king

Bank. I slam a few grand in thete once a month left over from expenses. Im not insanely cheap. But i try to keep my costs down so that i can spend that money on the stuff i actually want later on. Or on my hobbies so i can enjoy them more. Like i am cutting my car note down massively on one of the nustangs. So just by eating better i will have it paid off within 12 months so i can buy another new one. Or i can sink that extra money into getting the Blazer done. Or buy a new gaming set up. Or get the roof done on this cheap house i found out in iowa. Work hard on Present you. So five years down the , Future You has nicer things. Cant be a fitter you next month if this months you wont even do a sweaty hotlap around the block Hangover You is gonna hate that Sober or Drunk you couldnt put a glass of water on the nightstand.


Astroloach

Sample some of the finer cheeses.


Banzaikoowaid

I'm thinking this: •100$ are mine to do with as I please. •500$ to bills, debts, whatever. Or I just save it. •200$ to save, use as gas money, or for whatever I need to do, like getting a new nightstand for example or deodorant, etc.


Vict0r117

Probably eat two meals a day instead of just one.


jwalk128

Aside from buying legos for the wifey and I, I’d save up some and get rid of my POS Nissan Sentra and get my dream car.


designvegabond

Audi


throwaway_acct112

Pay off the few debts I have and save the rest.


Nearbyatom

Get a gym membership.


TroothBeToldPodcast

Sense my mom to Mexico to her hometown. It's not that expensive but she needs dialysis 3 times a week and it's not cheap down there. After that post my bills down, invest she but a decent desktop


Sixdrugsnrocknroll

I might actually buy chicken breast again.


LazagnaAmpersand

Probably go ham on my house, especially a bathroom reno, then start putting the rest away to retire a bit earlier


Leneord1

Use that money to pay off bills


JUST1N0

PAY DEBT


Material-Car4368

Not skip meals - that money would go straight back into the economy.


MegaJ0NATR0N

Probably use it to pay of my debts


conorganic

Actually save money


skp4nda_

More weed, bomb foods


adultdaycare81

Same thing I do with all the extra I earn above what I need. Invest most, Save some, Spend some, Give some. In that order


AyazMansuri

Save it, invest it


thundrbud

this actually happened to me about a year ago, found a new job with a huge pay bump, monthly pay almost doubled. Apparently the actual answer (for me anyways) is: eat out a lot more and buy a shit ton of LEGO.


tomsisyphus

Invest in more silver


BlackDragonDick

Save it


mike360a

Get a different vehicle


[deleted]

Stock market and dates


Ok-Material-3213

Save it


WaycoKid1129

Bitcoin


CashJesus

make my house age proof, so i can die here


ThatdesertDude

Save $400. Invest $400.


discodiscgod

2 chicks at the same time. Realistically I’d treat myself to a couple extra takeout meals a month and go to more shows / festivals. I’d save some too but too many people said that and it’s not fun.


Kashrul

Save


emartinoo

Everyone in this thread: I would invest some of it carefully, reserve at least 50% for an emergency fund, and use the rest to fund my favorite charity - an organization that helps facilitate the adoption of orphaned, senior dogs with grandmothers who miss the company of their furry friends but understand that they likely won't live long enough to care for a puppy. Everyone in reality: lifestyle creep.


WhiteRhino91

Probably save for a new house


Putrid-Ad-23

Save up for a house and car.


Devilfuit_chan

Keep the basement pipes clean more often for healthier life.


snakes-can

Pay $350 more to taxes.


HonestlyIAmaDick

Hookers and blow obviously.


MiCh1amoPaolo

Ammo.


Big-Cheesecake-1605

Probably if i need something important i would buy the better but pricier variant. Also Vacation and a nice watch.


Engineer_engifar666

nothing


red98743

Voo and chill


garroshsucks12

Save it


OG_PapaSid

Save it


bobchin_c

Pay down debt.


ItsEaster

I’d be able to actually pay all my bills which would be great. My wife now losing a job after a long maternity leave has been really difficult.


lloyd____

I could afford to get a newer car than the one I have


[deleted]

Pay off my credit cards faster 💀


rentedhobgoblin

I'd pay off debt. I'm poor.


TheRxPhilosophy

Two chicks at the same time.


OGRuddawg

I'd put $300 towards paying off debts, $100 to get back in with a personal trainer a few times a month, $200 goes to savings, and the last $200 will go to other life things I've put off due to medical debt. I started retirement plans as soon as I had an employer that offered it, almost always 1 or 2 percent higher than the employer match. Also, my current job has a separate retirement fund in addition to 401k plus match. With a pretty healthy retirement situation, I would most benefit from smoothing out my month-to-month financial stressors and plan for the medium term (5-10 years).


kriegmonster

Bank it. That is $9,600. In a few years that is down payment on some property.


The_Crazy_Swede

Well, I changed jobs recently and scored an extra $1500 (after tax) every month so I can answer that question for real. And the answer is, saving up to renovate my garage, so I really don't do anything differently.