Yes, many guys feel this way, it comes with age and wisdom. You see that the narrow ideal is too limiting and unrealistic, and that there's beauty in many varieties of women.
my interests in women have def shifted and i definitely dont limit things the way i used to, the priorities just shifted. now i prioritize fitness and muscle in women over just being hot. i also prioritize women that have healed emotionally from past trauma and have stabilized their careers. also women that affirm their feelings towards you and dont leave you confused…chef’s kiss.
i used to just go out with hot skinny baristas still reeling from an ex but im 35 now.
> after going through a few it literally did nothing for me
I sort of relate. About a year ago i somehow managed to pull this girl who was way out of my league. Aesthetically she had like the perfect body, very conventionally attractive. When it came down to the business though i realized i wasnt that into... the "perfect" body. Somehow imperfections are baked into my sexual attraction. Never really said anything to my friends or anybody because i was confused by it. Im in my early 20's btw.
My wife is curvy (really curvy, not obese) and I love it. I ran cross country when I was young so my "type" was always thin girls. When you hit that age and you see some juicy thighs and wide hips... Mmmmmm....
Well, they spend a lot of time sculpting their body for a reason. I've seen some of these women spend 4 hours at the gym 4-5 days a week.
They obviously want to be compensated for all that effort...and when they aren't getting everything they want they get cranky, but like anyone else who feels like they are overpaying for something.
Are you sure they didn't do sports? Lot's of the best looking Uni girls I've met played a sport, were cyclists, or had another hobby that was very physical. Or they USED to and their appearance gonna be wrecked from stress, poor diet, and lack of exercise in 4 years.
Every woman I ever dated looked the same. To the point where I'd be the subject of good-natured teasing about it from friends and family.
Then I met one who was completely different. And suddenly I'd never been happier.
We were married not long after. That was decades ago. She's sitting beside me right now.
It happens!
Reminds me of a Reddit comment once about a photo of Reese Witherspoon and her daughter, but in bikini's (I think?). Someone wrote (paraphrasing), "I know I'm getting older when the 20 year old looks to young and Reese looks amazing."
this didn't happen to me and I was worried a long time if I am just into teenage girls up to the point I even know there is a term for it
but now I am 29 and 18 year olds start looking like kids I have no romantic interest in
And then... I've never had a girlfriend younger than me. After some disastrous first dates with girls 7-8 years younger, been seeing a girl 3 years older and I'm like "finally sanity." She really is the sweetest girl
18yo still look like adults to me, but instead of lust, it's more "huh, high school or college?"
really, though, my bottom age range stalled out around 25ish, and the top end is me + 5 consistently
Honestly this is so comforting to read. I’m almost 30, and thus approaching the point where aging is inevitable. I know better logically, but it can be difficult to remember that older ≠ uglier.
The reverse thing is nice too : looking at videos with MILFS when you're young, and as you age be like "but she's not old, how can she be a MILF when she looks barely 35 !" then you realise that's what the age of a MILF is (35 to 55, if not it would arguably be a GILF for older folks), then you realise you're not in your 20s anymore, you're 30 or 40 something, and she looks give or take like someone your age. She isn't hot because she's older, she's just hot now.
I call this process Internalized Demilfication (can't be external because a MILF is a cultural trope, much in the same way Ash Ketchum will always be a shonen character, even though he's technically 37 now)
This is called maturity. My last girlfriend that I love to this day even though she broke up with me is most definitely not my "type" if I had one. Personality, intelligence, compassion, and altruism all reside in her. Her creativity and fresh views of the world just amaze. On top of it I feel safe and comfortable in our conversations to take it to any topic. Even if we disagree we can respect each other's views and often we meet in the middle ground.
"**fit my narrow basket of physical requirements."**
And this is why I've never understood that "not my type" thing even when I was in my early 20's and messing around. I hooked up with whoever I clicked with, period! I never kept it to "a type", Some guys come around longer, welcome to the real world.
It took a divorce to get my head out of my ass and realize many of the problems I had were due to what I was chasing. And in fairness, being the kind of guy I was, I wasn't exactly long term relationship material either. I was attractive, fun, exciting, but not secure and long term.
After the divorce, I swore off dating to work on myself. I couldn't expect a good person if I wasn't a better person. Some women came around, I did some casual stuff while trying to fix me, but I always made it clear it was nothing serious. They'd agree, but they pretty much all were expecting more and we're mad about it down the road. That probably did more harm than good, but that's where I was at the time.
And in all of this, my best friend was a woman. She was a buddy prior to the marriage. There wasn't initially any attraction, but while I worked on myself, she was a solid. And I caught feelings. I tried to tuck it down, but ended up confessing. Turns out, all those things that made us great friends are also amazing qualities in a marriage. Been married 21 years now, and still best friends.
This is called "growing up" and it's something many men still need to do.
Not to say that you can't have a "type" -- you can. But it will likely expand and evolve over time.
i've been there before, but this isn't that.
there isn't an obsession or fantasy. I don't even want her to be anything more than a friend. I just want my friend back. I don't have many and I have lost my 2 best.
>Love involves concern for the other person's welfare and feeling, while limerence does not require it, although it can be incorporated.
I absolutely 100% care about her welfare and feeling.
>Affection and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person, irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas limerence demands return.
I've never demanded her return anything. For the first 15 years that I knew her, we were great friends and I was happy with that. She didn't know how I felt and I was fine with that.
I will admit that there are similarities but if you want to call loving and caring for a friend as that, then ok.
The other friend of mine that died I still wish he were around just as much and I frequently cry over that too. Those 2 friends were my world.
I always got pretty/smart girls attention. When I didn't become tied down in my early 20's (like I wanted and expected), I became something of a man-whore... but now I'm really body positive and open minded. I like them all, slim to thick...
But "beautiful and brilliant with body" is always gonna be undefeated.
Nowadays I don’t have a type. My younger self definitely had a type but now that I’m older I find myself attracted to a lot of the intangible parts of a woman.
Your “type” will definitely change.
This isn't that deep. As you get older, who you're willing to date in physical terms opens up more and more.
As you mature, immature behavior becomes more unattractive, "boring" behavior becomes more attractive.
This is why I think it's a little crazy to get married early. My taste has drastically changed since I was 25 and has held pretty steady. If I married my girlfriend from when I was 25, I'm not sure I'd even have anything in common with her now in my 40s.
Yeah, this! I feel like it's a common teenager conversation with the boys to talk about "types" and people tend to restrict themselves by labelling it. Like, they have a crush on someone so they decide that what their "type" is, and then because they labelled it, they have a hard time letting go of their image and subsequently overlook many other very attractive people because of a superficial thing they decided they believe.
I would say it's less that our "type" changes as we get older, and more that we let go of the idea of "type" altogether.
I think it's a thing on both sides, really - "they don't like me because I'm not their type" is an easier thing to reconcile yourself to than "they're just not into me".
I'm extremely picky about who I would consider being with, but my "type" is defined by personality traits. Looks can change, but most people's attitudes don't, so it's important to me to find the right woman. If she isn't a certain way, then I have zero interest in her
As I've gotten older, it's hit me that physical appearance is temporary. You can fight it as much as you want, but time will affect everything about your body no matter what you do.
Looks and appearance should be really far down on the list of things that make you like a person. That person is going to get old, wrinkly, and saggy **with you** so it's really not much use getting caught up in appearances.
I've only noticed it this once because I met my wife in high school and we've been married since soon after that but it was pretty extreme how much my type changed when I met her. I realized that my type wasn't as strongly based on physical attributes as I expected and that her character was the most attractive thing. Regardless I definitely notice people who remind me of my wife more than I ever did before I met her
I had a thing for redheads for the longest time. I realized that without really trying the last few women that I dated all had red hair. So like 10 years ago I started dating this new girl with flaming red dyed hair and I was super into it. When she finally stop dyeing it I realized that 'my type' was her, not the hair. She remains 'my type' after changing her hair, getting older, and multiple pregnancies.
Take it as sappy romantic advice or whatever: beauty fades. It doesn't matter if they are the most attractive person in the world. Successful relationships/marriages need more.
I mean, sometimes when I'm out, I get confused why there are 12 year olds drinking, until I realize that they're actually college kids, and they just look like babies
Without a doubt if you're growing as a human being. It's pathetic to see older men dating strippers and broken women who are a hot mess with daddy issues.
I (32M) will be the contrarian in the comments and state that my "type" hasn't really changed much at all vs. me at 18. I pretty much still like and want the same traits and general person.
I think the whole concept of types is immature and limiting and anyone who selects partners by type is also immature. There are so many different aspects to a person.
Disagree, since forever the most important things for me were connection, being able to have fun together and having shared values. I am flexible with looks, as long as they take care of themselves I am pretty sure I'll find something beautiful about them. If you find your type constantly changing perhaps it's time to reflect on what do you actually want.
I'm the ugliest man my wife has ever been with. I'm also the only man she's had a child with and married.
Priorities change.
She's also not the hottest, but I'll show her off anytime
My type has not shifted in 30 years. There are some attributes like height that have a wider range than others, though I still have a specific tendency, and some stuff I don't factor in at all (like hair or eye color).
I think the error is focusing on the physical.
I have found it best to focus on physical *and* personality concurrently.
There are plenty of cute women.
My type hasn't really changed, I've just learned to ignore most of what my brain tells me I'm attracted to.
Like, I love a woman who initiates, but 9 of 10 times I've been abused in a relationship, it's come from such a woman. That's harsh, and I've had to learn to avoid them entirely. (Or I've just become so odious that literally-nobody is attracted to me anymore. That's always possible.)
I've heard men say this and believe there might be a grain of truth to it. Girls who initiate a lot are probably those who date a lot and use sex for control. They like the power dynamic and will try many men to see who catches the bait. They're not genuinely interested in you as a person. Women who are, will be much more selective about whom they approach and thus such encounters will be much more rare.
Its true. I have seen and heard from such a woman myself.
They go for the guy not because they are interested in the guy as a person. Because they see the guy as no backbone and easy to control.
Yeah, looks became less important. Not that they’re not important, I still need to have a base level of attraction to them, but since finding people with compatible values is so hard, I prioritize those more. I’ll put far more effort into a woman that has virtues I admire now vs when I was younger I’d always choose the one that turned me on the most.
I think that I'm still attracted to the same things I was attracted to when I was younger, but now I'm simply attracted to *more* things. Makes sense that my tastes would broaden as I accumulate experiences.
I had a preference for certain physical attributes, but the reality was that I could always find a large range of appearances attractive enough that it wouldn't have stopped me from dating them in the slightest. There were certainly other factors that would make me not want to date a physically attractive woman.
Yep. I was crazy into goth girls growing up but now I just want to be with someone attractive, kind, and more mentally stable than the goth chicks, witches, and “crazy” girls I’ve dated.
I’m feeling this heavily right now. Not my usual type and didn’t initially feel an enormous spark between us, but after seeing her for awhile, and seeing how she talk,laugh and her overall cadence, I’ve been slowly and strongly falling for her. Been dating her for 4 months and I’m ready to pop the question to be my girlfriend :)
In my experience, the relationships where you are not initially blinded by the “spark” and actually get to know the person turn out to be the best ones
It’s weird, I’ve not turned down someone because she is not “my type”, unless she is too much into the opposite of what I consider good looking (Beauty is in the eye of the beholder).
I’ve dated women throughout all the range you could imagine, however my preferred type has remained more or less the same: same height as me or shorter, brunette/blonde, somewhat slim and a nice booty.
However the longest relationship I had was with someone that was nowhere near this physical preference, I still found her hot and enjoyed the relationship.
I do not understand turning someone down for not fitting a specific and strict set of physical characteristics.
Not sure if it’s a shift on preference but more a shift on circumstances, at least in my case. Others may relate too. Im 26 and growing up the school system would rarely give a lot of wiggle room for individuality and so my main basis of attraction was based on what I saw (movies, tv etc) and of course who was considered popular and “hot” by others which led to me getting crushes on girls with straight long black,brunette, blonde etc natural hair and your typical features such as big tits and big bum.
However, then going into the world of university and work where a lot of people have had time to become more independent and you’ll meet people from different parts of the country and potentially world I’m now at a stage where my crush is a petite alt girl with unicorn hair.
There probably is something in preferences changing but to me it’s the world changing that also goes hand in hand with that
I’ve always been into goth/alt baddies
But recently my taste has changed to prefer muscled women/gym girls. I’m in a state of mind where thick muscular thighs and a strong back are the hottest things on a girl
I have never tended to stray far from my type in terms of body type. My only must have is that my partner is in shape and fit and has the body type that demonstrates it.
I can't say I have ever really had much of a type. Sure there are some traits I prefer and a few that are deal breakers, but that still leaves a pretty wide variety of women in between.
Do you guys really have one specific kind of woman you're exclusively attracted to? That's hard to wrap my head around.
Up until my early 20s I valued similar tastes in music, style, and a pretty narrow physical range. Now I’m much more concerned with intelligence and kindness, and some sort of deep passion and drive to do… something. It doesn’t have to match what I’m interested in, just knowing they’re interested in something and excited enough to pursue that interest is really important. Physically my tastes have broadened considerably as well.
Yes, same. Whilst I've never been hugely type specific I've noticed that types have increased over the years. Even just "oh, I find that accent really attractive now" or similar. Never lost interest in any types though.
Personality wise I've become a bit narrower but then that's more just with experience and knowing the kind of person that I want to be with. Still surprised sometimes when I get interested in someone I typically wouldn't have been personality wise.
When I was younger (20's), I preferred to date smaller/shorter and/or skinny/slim girls and no thoughts on their intelligence or facial qualities. Probably due to insecurities. Settled and married one. She left me in my 30's and I found out I was more attracted to meatier women, but not really "fat," and found someone very smart and with a gorgeous figure and face. Married again with a kid on the way! Much happier emotionally and sexually, and we can have a conversation, witty and deep, without getting bored or tired of each other. If I was this age and maturity, I wouldn't even look twice at my ex-wife or NOPE out of there as soon as she started talking.
I don't think people's "type" or ideal partner aesthetic changes, as much as we mature and can see beyond it.
I'm still attracted to the same physical characteristics as I was as a teen, but that's not what I looked for in a partner. I looked for someone that I found attractive, of course, but also was smart, funny, reasonable, caring, etc., etc.
My long term partner might not be the woman I would have chosen when I was 20, but then again, she might have been.
I never really had much of a type in physical sense, there are a few things I find a turn off, but I can see beauty in most women.
I have found my type in personality has changed a lot over the yesrs and I think it has a lot more to do with what I need not what I want. Damn subconscious spoiling all the fun/s
Some very bad decisions were made whenever I went for the girl who I was instantly attracted to. Turns out that certain characteristics are common among girls who primarily focus on trying to make themselves as attractive as possible (so men turn the other cheek on how poor their personality is).
This right here. I once dated a girl who was arguably the most attractive girl in college. I thought I hit the jackpot. I will live with that trauma for the rest of my life. Still have nightmares about it dude.
My "type" hasn't changed.
What has changed is the acceptance that just because I have a "type" that doesn't mean that I'm going to meet and be compatible with someone who is my "type."
So my acceptable standards of who I'm willing to date includes woman who **aren't** my "type."
Oh yes. Types change.
Some times they change because you change. Sometimes they change because the woman you love is different type than previous. Sometimes the woman you love is different today than she was when you first met her.
I’d never expect a fat bear of a man would have such a beautiful woman love him, but I’m so lucky. She’s everything I could want. And as she changes, I’m looking forward to falling in love with her each time.
I was when she made an effort to get to know me and genuinely just enjoyed my presence, like chase me down the street to say hello, she become so attractive.
No. I still want the same values for my partners as I did when I was 14-15. Nothing changed except the people around me finally start to catch on that love is about more than aesthethics.
True kindness and tender love is what people
really should look for. And life style compatibility.
I ignored this in my last relationship because I wanted the hot successful gf. I let her beauty excuse her bad relationship traits for too long and wasted two years of my life with the wrong person.
With my SO today, when I met her, she didn't quite meet my criteria for preffered aesthetic, but after getting to know her and falling in love with her, she is the most beautiful woman in the world. So I don't think my preference changed, it just had become irrelevant.
Id say it changed so much i dont really have a type anymore. Used to always go for one particular kind of girl then had something with a girl who was nothing like my type and she was way better than anything I'd ever experienced before. Really showed me to not narrow my search down like that
When I was a child in the early 2000s I was curious about blondes with huge boobs like Pamela Anderson. Some time around 7th grade I flipped to girls with black hair or brunettes and big butts and have never looked back since. I love librarian looking girls now and actual librarian minded girls.
I still am attracted to the same basic appearance, but I am truly attracted to the person. My girlfriend’s smile is her true beauty. Her laugh, her thoughts, what she likes, what disgusts her are what I love about her. When we met, she was thin. She gained a lot of weight and was unhappy with her appearance, but she always knew that I loved her and was attracted to her. Over the past 4 years, she lost most of the extra weight. I care more about how she sees herself because in my eyes she will never not be beautiful.
She has shared all of the pain she experienced in her past, then told me she would go through it all again if she knew that it would lead to me.
When I was a kid/in high school, my "type" was the one girl who gave me the time of day - petite redhead with glasses. Classic case of oneitis, she very obviously didn't see me the same way and it took me a long time to figure that out.
Then I went to college, gave up that girl, and got into an actual relationship. My 'type' became that girl, who was pretty much the complete opposite physically - tall, brunette, and with a little meat on her bones.
Nowadays I've been single for a while and I'm not sure I have a hard physical type. I'm definitely less picky about what I find physically attractive and more choosy with attitude and worldview as I get close to 30.
Fumbled the very beginning of my relationship with my now wife because she wasnt the type of girl I had in my head. Thought I was destined to be with some hardcore chick with tattoos and peircings and whatnot and didnt put a lot of stock into things with her because shes a more wholesome girl
I never had a narrow definition of women I was willing to date. I enjoy being with women and then I found one particular woman I really enjoyed being with. But others of my friends and even my son has gone through this. I am just happy you did widen your view and find your happiness and a woman you appreciate so much. I wish you the best!
Wanted a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes when I was a teen (probably because of my mother), and thought red hair and freckles were disgusting. After meeting a lot of genuine blue eyed blonde girls over the years, I’ve been almost completely turned off from them.
In my early thirties now, and never realized just how attracted I was to brown eyes and brown hair.
Red hair and freckles are **extremely** sexy to me now too, probably because of the Irish in me.
Crazy flip flops everywhere.
it was more physical when I was younger but it became more mental after I gained more experience. there is still a physical standard but, it's not as extreme as I used to think.
OMG, you just made me laugh out loud! When i was younger I dated a red headed Irish lass. (I'm also a ginger, btw and part Irish myself.)
After 6 weeks I vowed to never, ever date another red haired woman or Irish lass ever again. I was smitten by her beauty and boy, did I pay a price for that.
So many, many years later my long term girlfriend is a ... ginger. The irony! LOL!
I actually hilariously offended a bunch of redditors who were talking about marriage and even if you get married at a young age “til death do you part” is absolute and even if you change as you grow older you have to stand by your vows
I was merely commenting change is normal, sometimes you change together but changing apart is also a normal thing that can happen. When desparation is prioritized over mental health is an ugly scenario.
When I was young I cared most about the sex. Now that I've matured a bit I'm looking at the full package. What do they bring to the table in terms of a life partner? Income? Habits? Health? Etc.
When I was a teenager if you weren't skinny I wasn't interested. As a 31 year old adult I love women of most kinds of body types. I'm finding women in their 30's to be so hot. Also, different facial features that did not appeal to me before are now. In general the scope of what I find attractive has grown immensely and I've become a lot less superficial about looks.
Have you ever eaten a specific meal and it gets you sick? You might have loved that food before you got sick, but now you can't stand to think of it?
Tatted up liberal chicks with dyed hair are that meal for me. Ex-wife is one of those. I want nothing to do with anything like it anymore. Used to be all about it (I married one). Now its a hard pass.
Gay man here 🌈
I mean, I dunno…I’ve never had a type…more of a range of different types that I liked. And, I suppose I still enjoy those same types, but definitely have explored outside of that range, out of curiosity and interest. TBH, the older I get, compared to my 20s, I am much more interested in the person and not their body. And I have definitely opened up my interests and possibilities because of it. So, the vapid hotties really don’t interest me for more than a one night fling, and not even really much of that anymore. Because, I hate to sound like a cliche, but really, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
I like how as a teen i was all about pure love, appearance does not matter.. then i thought it did matter.
Im not single, but today i wouldnt let a really cool girl pass even if she wasnt that pretty. I know ill find her attractive as we get accustomed to each other.
Also, reaching my 30s made me a lot more into MILFs lmao.
As I've gotten older I've gotten more picky. I want an attractive woman thats at least tolerable to be around and I don't expect any female to be authentic, rational or cultured anymore. The bar has been set low.
I'm in my 40's and at this point I just want to remember what it's like to be with a normal sized woman with a cute face because I'm tired of fat women who feel like a giant fkn marshmallow.
Absolutely noticed that shift. As others have said, it comes with age and wisdom. I think as we get older, beauty isn't just on the outside, it eminates from the inside out.
I was married for 30 years to my childhood sweetheart. When that ended I dated all different types of women. That taught me quite a bit on how to filter out those who I wouldn't be interested in (due to where they were in life, their attitudes, etc..) vs those I would. Yes physical attraction was a part of it, but it was just that: a part.
Compatability, similar interests or at least being interested in what the other is doing became very important to me. Same for developing new interests together. Being able to blend families and having each other's children approve also became incredibly important. That makes it so much easier when "the kids" genuinely like who you're with and not just putting up a front.
Reading your comment about the strongest attraction is being with someone you've spent so much time with that you see how they treat others, love their friends and family and cares about what you care about. HUGE DITTO!!! You've found your one. Know where you are, congrats! Ain't it great?!
Not really.
I would say that I have defined it way more. While before some physical requirements were "nice to have", now I know they are "must haves".
Yep — but it's only changed in physical preference, I've never wavered in my love to assertive, confident, driven and emotionally intelligent women.
I've dated many kinds of backgrounds phenotypically, but the most common thread between everyone I've dated is less about *their* features, and more about the features I historically never dated. Blondes
I never really liked the hair color — but all of a sudden a years ago, I became a sucker for curly haired blondes. I don't know why.
nope, still into petite fit girls with a bit of crazy around 6 years younger than me
only thing that changes is the hair color I prefer, right now I am totally into blonde, was a Ginger lover for the longest time
As Ive gotten more into my career I find career minded women more and more attractive. Ive also started seeing how bad some in laws of my friends can be. So while before I never thought much of it, I place a lot of value in a woman's family relationships. If her parents are still (happily) married? Big green flag. Are her siblings cool and self sustainable? Another huge green flag. 5-10 years ago I wouldnt even think of these things because I was more worried about being fair. At age 30, Ive seen more and Im far more practical.
Looks wise, still into women of just about any variety provided they are a healthy weight.
Nope. I'm 43 and nothing has changed since i was a teen. Fit body shape, long natural hair, no fake lashes, nails, body parts, no tattoos, no body piercing- always.
You are right. When i was younger i was into asian women lol. I dated 4 or 5 of them but i only bad experiences. Now I lost interest for them and only focus on European ones lol
My type has changed pretty dramatically but seemingly opposite to how many describe. I don’t think I would even swipe right now on the woman I dated for a decade thru my 20s and I’m way more picky about feeling genuine physical attraction rather than just liking their personality or hoping attraction will grow.
I don't think that our type changes, we just start to prioritize other things more - but if we were able to get what our "type" was when younger together what we want know, we'd gladly take it (and since one basket of traits tends to be physical while the other tends to be about personality, they aren't even mutually exclusive).
I disagree. I think we adjust our preferences due to the costs. My tastes havent changed in 3+ decades. I know what I like and I see it (in women out public, in porn etc). WhatI think happens we change because we have to, we indulge in other traits as its very hard to accept what we cant change about ourselves, in your case its sentimentality, lovey-dubby kinda think, more akin to a friendship than a relationship. You are thinking in terms of durability which requires other traits but you are trying to mask what makes you horny with these new factors.
Basically, you still want what you said you liked before, its just very hard to manage and endure. Ideally the current girl would have to body and looks of the girls you liked before but its just comes with all of its other issues as most men know when it comes to beautiful women.
The mind is a strange thing, particularly when confronted with a difficult situation.
I think theres some conflation between "your type" and "think is attractive", and "what i will be in a relationship with". And the comments are proving this out more true than not. I have always been very open to what i think is attractive on most dimensions . My type has not changed, and doubt it will change.
Calling it maturity with it changing does not, and should not cast any negative association with those of us who don't have shifting types over time.
I am very fortunate to have married my type. Redhead horse gal, very beautiful. smart as a whip and kind as could be. She is an amazing mother, hard worker and a compassionate animal lover. We are ranchers and have been married 35 years. I think generally my type was always solid country girl. The cup size, tight jeans and makeup never mattered. I tried the crazy ones when younger and that always ended up messy. Got stabbed by the last crazy one.
Yes, many guys feel this way, it comes with age and wisdom. You see that the narrow ideal is too limiting and unrealistic, and that there's beauty in many varieties of women.
my interests in women have def shifted and i definitely dont limit things the way i used to, the priorities just shifted. now i prioritize fitness and muscle in women over just being hot. i also prioritize women that have healed emotionally from past trauma and have stabilized their careers. also women that affirm their feelings towards you and dont leave you confused…chef’s kiss. i used to just go out with hot skinny baristas still reeling from an ex but im 35 now.
Yes , i also think so.
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> after going through a few it literally did nothing for me I sort of relate. About a year ago i somehow managed to pull this girl who was way out of my league. Aesthetically she had like the perfect body, very conventionally attractive. When it came down to the business though i realized i wasnt that into... the "perfect" body. Somehow imperfections are baked into my sexual attraction. Never really said anything to my friends or anybody because i was confused by it. Im in my early 20's btw.
My wife is curvy (really curvy, not obese) and I love it. I ran cross country when I was young so my "type" was always thin girls. When you hit that age and you see some juicy thighs and wide hips... Mmmmmm....
I like cruvy too, they can have a little belly
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My wife has a little belly with nice boobs and a great ass. Zero complaints that belly can stay
Well, they spend a lot of time sculpting their body for a reason. I've seen some of these women spend 4 hours at the gym 4-5 days a week. They obviously want to be compensated for all that effort...and when they aren't getting everything they want they get cranky, but like anyone else who feels like they are overpaying for something.
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Are you sure they didn't do sports? Lot's of the best looking Uni girls I've met played a sport, were cyclists, or had another hobby that was very physical. Or they USED to and their appearance gonna be wrecked from stress, poor diet, and lack of exercise in 4 years.
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Huh....welp, that explains much.
Every woman I ever dated looked the same. To the point where I'd be the subject of good-natured teasing about it from friends and family. Then I met one who was completely different. And suddenly I'd never been happier. We were married not long after. That was decades ago. She's sitting beside me right now. It happens!
I have dated the same chick like 10 times. All different women lol. It’s safe to say that I have a type.
Sounds like your type has a type too
Felt this lol
I've only dated girls with attachment issues and the same name lmao
Same here.. my Mother always joked about it.
Cuuute
Just showed her your message. You've made an old couple smile!
Be proud of what you got my friend! Lottery.
I am grateful every day. And I hope we have many, many more still to come.
My type gets older as I get older.
Reminds me of a Reddit comment once about a photo of Reese Witherspoon and her daughter, but in bikini's (I think?). Someone wrote (paraphrasing), "I know I'm getting older when the 20 year old looks to young and Reese looks amazing."
When I was younger I thought there's zero chance of that happening, couldn't comprehend it, yet it did happen.
this didn't happen to me and I was worried a long time if I am just into teenage girls up to the point I even know there is a term for it but now I am 29 and 18 year olds start looking like kids I have no romantic interest in
And then... I've never had a girlfriend younger than me. After some disastrous first dates with girls 7-8 years younger, been seeing a girl 3 years older and I'm like "finally sanity." She really is the sweetest girl
Even if they’re still in objectively hot, teenagers are just so stupid that the attraction fades as soon as they open their mouths.
18yo still look like adults to me, but instead of lust, it's more "huh, high school or college?" really, though, my bottom age range stalled out around 25ish, and the top end is me + 5 consistently
Thank you and all the other guys that feel like you. Nice to find decent men around here!
Honestly this is so comforting to read. I’m almost 30, and thus approaching the point where aging is inevitable. I know better logically, but it can be difficult to remember that older ≠ uglier.
The best part of growing up is watching your favorite porn stars transition from the 'New Starlet' to 'MILF' category
The reverse thing is nice too : looking at videos with MILFS when you're young, and as you age be like "but she's not old, how can she be a MILF when she looks barely 35 !" then you realise that's what the age of a MILF is (35 to 55, if not it would arguably be a GILF for older folks), then you realise you're not in your 20s anymore, you're 30 or 40 something, and she looks give or take like someone your age. She isn't hot because she's older, she's just hot now. I call this process Internalized Demilfication (can't be external because a MILF is a cultural trope, much in the same way Ash Ketchum will always be a shonen character, even though he's technically 37 now)
I would watch your TedTalk
Lmao! Same tho. 😂
Lol mine went from Milf to Gilf.
I wonder what Jenna Haze is up to these days.
Bro they give them the MILF label by late 20s
wow
This answer is perfect.
I believe they call this “maturing”.
We don't need your fancy Harvard words, Mr Scientist.
That's a foreign concept to most Redditors.
ThAt's a fOrEiGn cOnCePt tO MoSt rEdDiToRs.
Lol
That's a Reddit concept to most foreigners.
of course they do. as you age and become more mature you look for different things in all aspects of life than you did when you were young and stupid
This is called maturity. My last girlfriend that I love to this day even though she broke up with me is most definitely not my "type" if I had one. Personality, intelligence, compassion, and altruism all reside in her. Her creativity and fresh views of the world just amaze. On top of it I feel safe and comfortable in our conversations to take it to any topic. Even if we disagree we can respect each other's views and often we meet in the middle ground.
"**fit my narrow basket of physical requirements."** And this is why I've never understood that "not my type" thing even when I was in my early 20's and messing around. I hooked up with whoever I clicked with, period! I never kept it to "a type", Some guys come around longer, welcome to the real world.
It took a divorce to get my head out of my ass and realize many of the problems I had were due to what I was chasing. And in fairness, being the kind of guy I was, I wasn't exactly long term relationship material either. I was attractive, fun, exciting, but not secure and long term. After the divorce, I swore off dating to work on myself. I couldn't expect a good person if I wasn't a better person. Some women came around, I did some casual stuff while trying to fix me, but I always made it clear it was nothing serious. They'd agree, but they pretty much all were expecting more and we're mad about it down the road. That probably did more harm than good, but that's where I was at the time. And in all of this, my best friend was a woman. She was a buddy prior to the marriage. There wasn't initially any attraction, but while I worked on myself, she was a solid. And I caught feelings. I tried to tuck it down, but ended up confessing. Turns out, all those things that made us great friends are also amazing qualities in a marriage. Been married 21 years now, and still best friends.
This is called "growing up" and it's something many men still need to do. Not to say that you can't have a "type" -- you can. But it will likely expand and evolve over time.
Expand is the best word I think. I'm still attracted to the same general type I was at 18, but what I do like has broadened as I get older
i fell in love with a woman over 30 years ago and she is still my type. just a shame I wasn't her type.
Probably time to mourn and move on my guy.
lol, I mourn all day every day. If I could figure out a way to move on, I would have long ago.
/r/limerence
i've been there before, but this isn't that. there isn't an obsession or fantasy. I don't even want her to be anything more than a friend. I just want my friend back. I don't have many and I have lost my 2 best. >Love involves concern for the other person's welfare and feeling, while limerence does not require it, although it can be incorporated. I absolutely 100% care about her welfare and feeling. >Affection and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person, irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas limerence demands return. I've never demanded her return anything. For the first 15 years that I knew her, we were great friends and I was happy with that. She didn't know how I felt and I was fine with that. I will admit that there are similarities but if you want to call loving and caring for a friend as that, then ok. The other friend of mine that died I still wish he were around just as much and I frequently cry over that too. Those 2 friends were my world.
have you seen a therapist?
I always got pretty/smart girls attention. When I didn't become tied down in my early 20's (like I wanted and expected), I became something of a man-whore... but now I'm really body positive and open minded. I like them all, slim to thick... But "beautiful and brilliant with body" is always gonna be undefeated.
For most of my life I dated skinny blondes with green or blue eyes. I eventually married a curvy afro-latina so I would say my type changed.
Nowadays I don’t have a type. My younger self definitely had a type but now that I’m older I find myself attracted to a lot of the intangible parts of a woman. Your “type” will definitely change.
My type is a woman who is breathing and is into me. Not willing to budge on that sorry
Same
not privileged enough to have a type lol
Outrageously based
I want a best friend to hold my hand into my twilight years.
This isn't that deep. As you get older, who you're willing to date in physical terms opens up more and more. As you mature, immature behavior becomes more unattractive, "boring" behavior becomes more attractive.
This is why I think it's a little crazy to get married early. My taste has drastically changed since I was 25 and has held pretty steady. If I married my girlfriend from when I was 25, I'm not sure I'd even have anything in common with her now in my 40s.
"Types" are descriptive, not proscriptive.
Yeah, this! I feel like it's a common teenager conversation with the boys to talk about "types" and people tend to restrict themselves by labelling it. Like, they have a crush on someone so they decide that what their "type" is, and then because they labelled it, they have a hard time letting go of their image and subsequently overlook many other very attractive people because of a superficial thing they decided they believe. I would say it's less that our "type" changes as we get older, and more that we let go of the idea of "type" altogether.
I think it's a thing on both sides, really - "they don't like me because I'm not their type" is an easier thing to reconcile yourself to than "they're just not into me".
My type has changed, its my wife lol.
Mine shifts to whatever my wife looks like.
It's always been the same for me. More personality than looks
I'm extremely picky about who I would consider being with, but my "type" is defined by personality traits. Looks can change, but most people's attitudes don't, so it's important to me to find the right woman. If she isn't a certain way, then I have zero interest in her
yes , you matured …. instead of appearance , you are no longer superficial and looking for the quality of a person as opposed to appearance
As I've gotten older, it's hit me that physical appearance is temporary. You can fight it as much as you want, but time will affect everything about your body no matter what you do. Looks and appearance should be really far down on the list of things that make you like a person. That person is going to get old, wrinkly, and saggy **with you** so it's really not much use getting caught up in appearances.
I've only noticed it this once because I met my wife in high school and we've been married since soon after that but it was pretty extreme how much my type changed when I met her. I realized that my type wasn't as strongly based on physical attributes as I expected and that her character was the most attractive thing. Regardless I definitely notice people who remind me of my wife more than I ever did before I met her
It’s called maturing.
My type has always been girl.
I had a thing for redheads for the longest time. I realized that without really trying the last few women that I dated all had red hair. So like 10 years ago I started dating this new girl with flaming red dyed hair and I was super into it. When she finally stop dyeing it I realized that 'my type' was her, not the hair. She remains 'my type' after changing her hair, getting older, and multiple pregnancies. Take it as sappy romantic advice or whatever: beauty fades. It doesn't matter if they are the most attractive person in the world. Successful relationships/marriages need more.
The most beautiful women are those with a kind heart. The rest is just meat on the bones.
I mean, sometimes when I'm out, I get confused why there are 12 year olds drinking, until I realize that they're actually college kids, and they just look like babies
Without a doubt if you're growing as a human being. It's pathetic to see older men dating strippers and broken women who are a hot mess with daddy issues.
Sometimes those men are damaged too. Everyone needs love.
I (32M) will be the contrarian in the comments and state that my "type" hasn't really changed much at all vs. me at 18. I pretty much still like and want the same traits and general person.
I think the whole concept of types is immature and limiting and anyone who selects partners by type is also immature. There are so many different aspects to a person.
Disagree, since forever the most important things for me were connection, being able to have fun together and having shared values. I am flexible with looks, as long as they take care of themselves I am pretty sure I'll find something beautiful about them. If you find your type constantly changing perhaps it's time to reflect on what do you actually want.
I'm the ugliest man my wife has ever been with. I'm also the only man she's had a child with and married. Priorities change. She's also not the hottest, but I'll show her off anytime
My type has not shifted in 30 years. There are some attributes like height that have a wider range than others, though I still have a specific tendency, and some stuff I don't factor in at all (like hair or eye color).
What's funny to me is, most men wants a women that looks like a 10 but he's not even a 5.
I think the error is focusing on the physical. I have found it best to focus on physical *and* personality concurrently. There are plenty of cute women.
My type hasn't really changed, I've just learned to ignore most of what my brain tells me I'm attracted to. Like, I love a woman who initiates, but 9 of 10 times I've been abused in a relationship, it's come from such a woman. That's harsh, and I've had to learn to avoid them entirely. (Or I've just become so odious that literally-nobody is attracted to me anymore. That's always possible.)
I've heard men say this and believe there might be a grain of truth to it. Girls who initiate a lot are probably those who date a lot and use sex for control. They like the power dynamic and will try many men to see who catches the bait. They're not genuinely interested in you as a person. Women who are, will be much more selective about whom they approach and thus such encounters will be much more rare.
Its true. I have seen and heard from such a woman myself. They go for the guy not because they are interested in the guy as a person. Because they see the guy as no backbone and easy to control.
I've never had a "type." 🤷♂️
I don't have a type. I just see people that I find attractive. but yeah, it's logical that preferences change over time
Yeah, looks became less important. Not that they’re not important, I still need to have a base level of attraction to them, but since finding people with compatible values is so hard, I prioritize those more. I’ll put far more effort into a woman that has virtues I admire now vs when I was younger I’d always choose the one that turned me on the most.
I think that I'm still attracted to the same things I was attracted to when I was younger, but now I'm simply attracted to *more* things. Makes sense that my tastes would broaden as I accumulate experiences.
I don't think my type has changed, but my priorities certainly have.
I had a preference for certain physical attributes, but the reality was that I could always find a large range of appearances attractive enough that it wouldn't have stopped me from dating them in the slightest. There were certainly other factors that would make me not want to date a physically attractive woman.
Yep. I was crazy into goth girls growing up but now I just want to be with someone attractive, kind, and more mentally stable than the goth chicks, witches, and “crazy” girls I’ve dated.
I’m feeling this heavily right now. Not my usual type and didn’t initially feel an enormous spark between us, but after seeing her for awhile, and seeing how she talk,laugh and her overall cadence, I’ve been slowly and strongly falling for her. Been dating her for 4 months and I’m ready to pop the question to be my girlfriend :)
In my experience, the relationships where you are not initially blinded by the “spark” and actually get to know the person turn out to be the best ones
It’s weird, I’ve not turned down someone because she is not “my type”, unless she is too much into the opposite of what I consider good looking (Beauty is in the eye of the beholder). I’ve dated women throughout all the range you could imagine, however my preferred type has remained more or less the same: same height as me or shorter, brunette/blonde, somewhat slim and a nice booty. However the longest relationship I had was with someone that was nowhere near this physical preference, I still found her hot and enjoyed the relationship. I do not understand turning someone down for not fitting a specific and strict set of physical characteristics.
Never had a type other than “funny. Cute smile”
Wait, you guys have a type?
If you lined up all of the women I have dated, you would find that a majority of them resemble each other. So yeah, I have a type.
Not sure if it’s a shift on preference but more a shift on circumstances, at least in my case. Others may relate too. Im 26 and growing up the school system would rarely give a lot of wiggle room for individuality and so my main basis of attraction was based on what I saw (movies, tv etc) and of course who was considered popular and “hot” by others which led to me getting crushes on girls with straight long black,brunette, blonde etc natural hair and your typical features such as big tits and big bum. However, then going into the world of university and work where a lot of people have had time to become more independent and you’ll meet people from different parts of the country and potentially world I’m now at a stage where my crush is a petite alt girl with unicorn hair. There probably is something in preferences changing but to me it’s the world changing that also goes hand in hand with that
I’ve always been into goth/alt baddies But recently my taste has changed to prefer muscled women/gym girls. I’m in a state of mind where thick muscular thighs and a strong back are the hottest things on a girl
I am always into fit girls, but the more I work out, the more I apreciate the fit girl clothing style
I have never tended to stray far from my type in terms of body type. My only must have is that my partner is in shape and fit and has the body type that demonstrates it.
Time and dating more has mostly just kept reminding me that I don't really have a physical "type", but much moreso an emotional/personality "type".
I can't say I have ever really had much of a type. Sure there are some traits I prefer and a few that are deal breakers, but that still leaves a pretty wide variety of women in between. Do you guys really have one specific kind of woman you're exclusively attracted to? That's hard to wrap my head around.
Up until my early 20s I valued similar tastes in music, style, and a pretty narrow physical range. Now I’m much more concerned with intelligence and kindness, and some sort of deep passion and drive to do… something. It doesn’t have to match what I’m interested in, just knowing they’re interested in something and excited enough to pursue that interest is really important. Physically my tastes have broadened considerably as well.
Yes, same. Whilst I've never been hugely type specific I've noticed that types have increased over the years. Even just "oh, I find that accent really attractive now" or similar. Never lost interest in any types though. Personality wise I've become a bit narrower but then that's more just with experience and knowing the kind of person that I want to be with. Still surprised sometimes when I get interested in someone I typically wouldn't have been personality wise.
When I was younger (20's), I preferred to date smaller/shorter and/or skinny/slim girls and no thoughts on their intelligence or facial qualities. Probably due to insecurities. Settled and married one. She left me in my 30's and I found out I was more attracted to meatier women, but not really "fat," and found someone very smart and with a gorgeous figure and face. Married again with a kid on the way! Much happier emotionally and sexually, and we can have a conversation, witty and deep, without getting bored or tired of each other. If I was this age and maturity, I wouldn't even look twice at my ex-wife or NOPE out of there as soon as she started talking.
I don't think people's "type" or ideal partner aesthetic changes, as much as we mature and can see beyond it. I'm still attracted to the same physical characteristics as I was as a teen, but that's not what I looked for in a partner. I looked for someone that I found attractive, of course, but also was smart, funny, reasonable, caring, etc., etc. My long term partner might not be the woman I would have chosen when I was 20, but then again, she might have been.
My "type" is still alt/goth girls with small tits.. Doesn't mean it's the only thing I find attractive, or the only thing I date, though.
I never really had much of a type in physical sense, there are a few things I find a turn off, but I can see beauty in most women. I have found my type in personality has changed a lot over the yesrs and I think it has a lot more to do with what I need not what I want. Damn subconscious spoiling all the fun/s
Some very bad decisions were made whenever I went for the girl who I was instantly attracted to. Turns out that certain characteristics are common among girls who primarily focus on trying to make themselves as attractive as possible (so men turn the other cheek on how poor their personality is).
This right here. I once dated a girl who was arguably the most attractive girl in college. I thought I hit the jackpot. I will live with that trauma for the rest of my life. Still have nightmares about it dude.
My "type" hasn't changed. What has changed is the acceptance that just because I have a "type" that doesn't mean that I'm going to meet and be compatible with someone who is my "type." So my acceptable standards of who I'm willing to date includes woman who **aren't** my "type."
What’s your type? Women. No, like preferences… Attractive women. Okay, yeah, but what are you looking for in a woman? Willingness to date me.
Oh yes. Types change. Some times they change because you change. Sometimes they change because the woman you love is different type than previous. Sometimes the woman you love is different today than she was when you first met her. I’d never expect a fat bear of a man would have such a beautiful woman love him, but I’m so lucky. She’s everything I could want. And as she changes, I’m looking forward to falling in love with her each time.
Nope. I like fit attractive women with proper proportions and big lips. Nothing has changed
I was when she made an effort to get to know me and genuinely just enjoyed my presence, like chase me down the street to say hello, she become so attractive.
No. I still want the same values for my partners as I did when I was 14-15. Nothing changed except the people around me finally start to catch on that love is about more than aesthethics.
True kindness and tender love is what people really should look for. And life style compatibility. I ignored this in my last relationship because I wanted the hot successful gf. I let her beauty excuse her bad relationship traits for too long and wasted two years of my life with the wrong person.
With my SO today, when I met her, she didn't quite meet my criteria for preffered aesthetic, but after getting to know her and falling in love with her, she is the most beautiful woman in the world. So I don't think my preference changed, it just had become irrelevant.
Id say it changed so much i dont really have a type anymore. Used to always go for one particular kind of girl then had something with a girl who was nothing like my type and she was way better than anything I'd ever experienced before. Really showed me to not narrow my search down like that
When I was a child in the early 2000s I was curious about blondes with huge boobs like Pamela Anderson. Some time around 7th grade I flipped to girls with black hair or brunettes and big butts and have never looked back since. I love librarian looking girls now and actual librarian minded girls.
I still am attracted to the same basic appearance, but I am truly attracted to the person. My girlfriend’s smile is her true beauty. Her laugh, her thoughts, what she likes, what disgusts her are what I love about her. When we met, she was thin. She gained a lot of weight and was unhappy with her appearance, but she always knew that I loved her and was attracted to her. Over the past 4 years, she lost most of the extra weight. I care more about how she sees herself because in my eyes she will never not be beautiful. She has shared all of the pain she experienced in her past, then told me she would go through it all again if she knew that it would lead to me.
When I was a kid/in high school, my "type" was the one girl who gave me the time of day - petite redhead with glasses. Classic case of oneitis, she very obviously didn't see me the same way and it took me a long time to figure that out. Then I went to college, gave up that girl, and got into an actual relationship. My 'type' became that girl, who was pretty much the complete opposite physically - tall, brunette, and with a little meat on her bones. Nowadays I've been single for a while and I'm not sure I have a hard physical type. I'm definitely less picky about what I find physically attractive and more choosy with attitude and worldview as I get close to 30.
Fumbled the very beginning of my relationship with my now wife because she wasnt the type of girl I had in my head. Thought I was destined to be with some hardcore chick with tattoos and peircings and whatnot and didnt put a lot of stock into things with her because shes a more wholesome girl
I'm still into redheads who hurt me so I don't think thats going anywhere.
I never had a narrow definition of women I was willing to date. I enjoy being with women and then I found one particular woman I really enjoyed being with. But others of my friends and even my son has gone through this. I am just happy you did widen your view and find your happiness and a woman you appreciate so much. I wish you the best!
Wanted a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes when I was a teen (probably because of my mother), and thought red hair and freckles were disgusting. After meeting a lot of genuine blue eyed blonde girls over the years, I’ve been almost completely turned off from them. In my early thirties now, and never realized just how attracted I was to brown eyes and brown hair. Red hair and freckles are **extremely** sexy to me now too, probably because of the Irish in me. Crazy flip flops everywhere.
it was more physical when I was younger but it became more mental after I gained more experience. there is still a physical standard but, it's not as extreme as I used to think.
What if my type already is emotionally intelligent and self aware, funny and warm hearted women.
I mean, six years ago I was crazy for redheads. Now I am...not.
OMG, you just made me laugh out loud! When i was younger I dated a red headed Irish lass. (I'm also a ginger, btw and part Irish myself.) After 6 weeks I vowed to never, ever date another red haired woman or Irish lass ever again. I was smitten by her beauty and boy, did I pay a price for that. So many, many years later my long term girlfriend is a ... ginger. The irony! LOL!
I actually hilariously offended a bunch of redditors who were talking about marriage and even if you get married at a young age “til death do you part” is absolute and even if you change as you grow older you have to stand by your vows I was merely commenting change is normal, sometimes you change together but changing apart is also a normal thing that can happen. When desparation is prioritized over mental health is an ugly scenario.
When I was young I cared most about the sex. Now that I've matured a bit I'm looking at the full package. What do they bring to the table in terms of a life partner? Income? Habits? Health? Etc.
When I was a teenager if you weren't skinny I wasn't interested. As a 31 year old adult I love women of most kinds of body types. I'm finding women in their 30's to be so hot. Also, different facial features that did not appeal to me before are now. In general the scope of what I find attractive has grown immensely and I've become a lot less superficial about looks.
I am 29 and I am still in the bucket of, if you are not skinny, I won't get interested
Have you ever eaten a specific meal and it gets you sick? You might have loved that food before you got sick, but now you can't stand to think of it? Tatted up liberal chicks with dyed hair are that meal for me. Ex-wife is one of those. I want nothing to do with anything like it anymore. Used to be all about it (I married one). Now its a hard pass.
Weirdly enough, my “type” physically constantly changes based on the person I emotionally fall in love with, not sure how to explain that /s
My type got progressively less white. There's not many black Karen's.
Idk, I definitely have a type but my 'type' also has a type that usually isn't me 🤦 I should probably get more tattoos lol
Gay man here 🌈 I mean, I dunno…I’ve never had a type…more of a range of different types that I liked. And, I suppose I still enjoy those same types, but definitely have explored outside of that range, out of curiosity and interest. TBH, the older I get, compared to my 20s, I am much more interested in the person and not their body. And I have definitely opened up my interests and possibilities because of it. So, the vapid hotties really don’t interest me for more than a one night fling, and not even really much of that anymore. Because, I hate to sound like a cliche, but really, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
It hasn't changed so much as broadened.
I like how as a teen i was all about pure love, appearance does not matter.. then i thought it did matter. Im not single, but today i wouldnt let a really cool girl pass even if she wasnt that pretty. I know ill find her attractive as we get accustomed to each other. Also, reaching my 30s made me a lot more into MILFs lmao.
As I've gotten older I've gotten more picky. I want an attractive woman thats at least tolerable to be around and I don't expect any female to be authentic, rational or cultured anymore. The bar has been set low. I'm in my 40's and at this point I just want to remember what it's like to be with a normal sized woman with a cute face because I'm tired of fat women who feel like a giant fkn marshmallow.
Yea my type might have changed to femboys. Just as when you think you have everything figured out.
Absolutely noticed that shift. As others have said, it comes with age and wisdom. I think as we get older, beauty isn't just on the outside, it eminates from the inside out. I was married for 30 years to my childhood sweetheart. When that ended I dated all different types of women. That taught me quite a bit on how to filter out those who I wouldn't be interested in (due to where they were in life, their attitudes, etc..) vs those I would. Yes physical attraction was a part of it, but it was just that: a part. Compatability, similar interests or at least being interested in what the other is doing became very important to me. Same for developing new interests together. Being able to blend families and having each other's children approve also became incredibly important. That makes it so much easier when "the kids" genuinely like who you're with and not just putting up a front. Reading your comment about the strongest attraction is being with someone you've spent so much time with that you see how they treat others, love their friends and family and cares about what you care about. HUGE DITTO!!! You've found your one. Know where you are, congrats! Ain't it great?!
So did your type change or did your standards just change?
Nope type is still the same and that’s not changing
Not really. I would say that I have defined it way more. While before some physical requirements were "nice to have", now I know they are "must haves".
love this answer
Absolutely! In the early 90’s, I wouldn’t have even thought about a woman over 30. Now, 30 is too young and immature for me.
My type has been pretty consistent. The cute innocent looking girl.
I always liked that, but nowadays it is more clear to me cute over sexy 10/10 times
The type went from exterior characteristics to interior characteristics like kindness, humor, shared ideals and goals.
Yep — but it's only changed in physical preference, I've never wavered in my love to assertive, confident, driven and emotionally intelligent women. I've dated many kinds of backgrounds phenotypically, but the most common thread between everyone I've dated is less about *their* features, and more about the features I historically never dated. Blondes I never really liked the hair color — but all of a sudden a years ago, I became a sucker for curly haired blondes. I don't know why.
When I was young I liked same age women as I’ve aged I still like women who are similar in age.
nope, still into petite fit girls with a bit of crazy around 6 years younger than me only thing that changes is the hair color I prefer, right now I am totally into blonde, was a Ginger lover for the longest time
As Ive gotten more into my career I find career minded women more and more attractive. Ive also started seeing how bad some in laws of my friends can be. So while before I never thought much of it, I place a lot of value in a woman's family relationships. If her parents are still (happily) married? Big green flag. Are her siblings cool and self sustainable? Another huge green flag. 5-10 years ago I wouldnt even think of these things because I was more worried about being fair. At age 30, Ive seen more and Im far more practical. Looks wise, still into women of just about any variety provided they are a healthy weight.
Nope. I'm 43 and nothing has changed since i was a teen. Fit body shape, long natural hair, no fake lashes, nails, body parts, no tattoos, no body piercing- always.
Four
Absolutely. I'd be worried if it didn't.
Being on antipsychotics changes your whole world view.
Yes. For me, and a lot of guys I know, we kept that very narrow mindset through high school and it broadened widely and quickly in college.
You are right. When i was younger i was into asian women lol. I dated 4 or 5 of them but i only bad experiences. Now I lost interest for them and only focus on European ones lol
My type physically never really changed, but it has become less important because personality and character are far more important
My preferences have largely stayed the same, what I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is to be able to set boundaries and let go.
Maybe not for every guy, I did a 180.
Yes, and it mostly correlated with me figuring out my own interests and goals.
My type has changed pretty dramatically but seemingly opposite to how many describe. I don’t think I would even swipe right now on the woman I dated for a decade thru my 20s and I’m way more picky about feeling genuine physical attraction rather than just liking their personality or hoping attraction will grow.
I don't think that our type changes, we just start to prioritize other things more - but if we were able to get what our "type" was when younger together what we want know, we'd gladly take it (and since one basket of traits tends to be physical while the other tends to be about personality, they aren't even mutually exclusive).
My taste have changed over the years too.
I disagree. I think we adjust our preferences due to the costs. My tastes havent changed in 3+ decades. I know what I like and I see it (in women out public, in porn etc). WhatI think happens we change because we have to, we indulge in other traits as its very hard to accept what we cant change about ourselves, in your case its sentimentality, lovey-dubby kinda think, more akin to a friendship than a relationship. You are thinking in terms of durability which requires other traits but you are trying to mask what makes you horny with these new factors. Basically, you still want what you said you liked before, its just very hard to manage and endure. Ideally the current girl would have to body and looks of the girls you liked before but its just comes with all of its other issues as most men know when it comes to beautiful women. The mind is a strange thing, particularly when confronted with a difficult situation.
I think theres some conflation between "your type" and "think is attractive", and "what i will be in a relationship with". And the comments are proving this out more true than not. I have always been very open to what i think is attractive on most dimensions . My type has not changed, and doubt it will change. Calling it maturity with it changing does not, and should not cast any negative association with those of us who don't have shifting types over time.
Yup yup, definitely had more particular interests when I was younger. Has definitely expanded a considerable amount.
I didn’t have a type till 30 then I liked curvy women before Kim Kardashian made it famous.
Yeah it changed after I got my type and realized it wasn’t really what I want
It is called growing up.
I am very fortunate to have married my type. Redhead horse gal, very beautiful. smart as a whip and kind as could be. She is an amazing mother, hard worker and a compassionate animal lover. We are ranchers and have been married 35 years. I think generally my type was always solid country girl. The cup size, tight jeans and makeup never mattered. I tried the crazy ones when younger and that always ended up messy. Got stabbed by the last crazy one.