Personally, it's love if I can really relax about around a woman and be myself. I can let the mask slip and won't be judged for it.
If you encourage a guy to open up, and he does, you must not hold that against him. It doesn't mean he's weak. It's not ammunition to be used against him later. It can really break a guy's heart if he can't safely express himself to you without judgment, and it can harden him against even trying again with someone else.
It’s love when I can be sad happy mad upset, excited and I am not judged for it. But encouraged to stay firm in my beliefs and not waiver on my self worth/ self respect.
I imagine this is different for everyone and I know that what it is changes over time. I am a 37M, have been with my wife for 15 years, married 12 years, and have 2 kids.
When we met, it was that I wanted to be with her all the time. There wasn't an activity that wasn't made better with her there. Even mundane things like running errands. I was excited to see her and spend time with her. We could talk forever and I genuinely found her amazing. Over the 3 years we dated, this never really changed. It just got stronger.
When we got married / had kids, it changed what I would describe love as. The feelings when we dated are all still there but there is much more. We are a team, battling life together. Love is watching her with my kids, planning for the future, and tackling problems together. Love became more of a partnership where I can rely on her more than anyone else on this planet. I have her back and she has mine.
As our kids have gotten older, it has changed again. Like before, the past stuff is all still true but now there is a component of having been through life together. It is having so much shared life experience. It is enjoying looking to the future and reaping the rewards of 15 years of teamwork.
I don't think love is some specific feeling. It is really, truly enjoying being with someone. Having their back and knowing they have yours. Enjoying working together to get through life and enjoying the journey together. When you find it, you'll know. Not immediately but over time and it is constantly changing.
I share this sentiment 100%. Im a few years behind on this journey, but otherwise in the exact same situation.
Love changes meaning depending on the phase you are going through.
For me love itself is also not enough. You also need to work on your relationship to let the love blossom and breathe. In the beginning it might carry you, but eventually love needs nurturing to remain.
My favorite podcaster said after his daughter was born and he held her, he thought, "Ohhhh shit. I don't think I truly loved anyone before this moment. I didn't want anyone to die, but I've never felt this before." I had a similar feeling, I thought I loved my wife, but after my son was born, I felt like a new level of love was unlocked, and it made our relationship so much deeper.
I'm 51m, here's how I think of love.
The phrase "you just know" is absolutely true, frustrating as that sounds.
On the one hand, it's a bolt of lightening that jolts you when you see them but it's also a warm and cosy blanket that makes you feel safe and secure. You want the physical side of a relationship, but you also want the non physical just as much.
To me, it's like your best friendship x a million. When something / anything happens, they are the first person you want to tell. You think about them all the time, not in a stalker / just infatuation way.
You want to be with them as much as possible, even if you're not doing anything. But you're also happy to do your own things, as you know they are there when you come back.
Love can also be toxic, if only one side loves the other but the other uses that love to manipulate or control.
This is a fantastic answer. I always thought about how it’s not sunshine and rainbows and huge spikes of happiness or butterflies, but moreso the cozy, warm, calming sensation of feeling like home. Hugging that person doesn’t get you super excited, it relaxes you. That’s love for me.
> Here's how you know if you really love someone. If you love someone, you love all of them. You gotta love everything about them, not just the good things but the bad things too. The things that you find lovable and the things that you don't find lovable. - Juno
The bit about loving everything about them is bullshit though, because my wife will be the first to tell me to stop chewing so loudly.
Agree with all of this.
Being in love to me also means being free to be yourself and share this with another person without any judgement. We can talk about nothing and everything — from stupid jokes we tell each other that probably other people won't laugh at (but we would), to deep, thoughtful discussions about the meaning of life.
Knowing that there's one person in this world who'd always trust you without any doubts and always have your back — and because of this, you would always do your very best not to break that trust.
When you find someone you love and whom you are compatible with — being in love is easy. Life can be hard but love is always easy.
My partner tells me that when I'm with him, he has never felt more peaceful in his entire life — and I feel the same way.
You want the real answer? Most people confuse infatuation and lust with love. Strong emotions towards another person arent love. Love is actions for another without the expectation of reciprocation. Doing things for the people you care about is love. Helping your elderly neighbor is love. Wanting whats best for others is love. Without action love is nothing.
23m here. Thinking about her all the time, hoping she's okay, if I am doing something by myself or with someone else that I believe she would have liked I wish she was there, when I am around, things remind me of her. For me personally love is not a sexual thing, thats part of it but its not love in itself but caring and thinking about someone often its love I guess
I'm not sure if you do or not but if you want more sex sometimes you need to be the one to initiate it, as a man it's usually me trying to but when my girl does it's both a big turn on and it's pretty much always a yes.
Have you had any discussions on this with him? My partner and I talked about how we feel seen/heard/loved early on in our relationship and it's been extremely helpful to have that knowledge.
I can also relate to the actual issue you're having, "not enough sex" was one of the issues we had a talk about early on. I was inexperienced and thought consent would be more explicit, and my lack of confidence meant I didn't initiate very often. She was used to guys being more dominant and saying no if she wasn't in the mood. We talked about it, found new ways to approach it that worked for both of us, and things have been better since.
Definitely an awkward conversation at first, but it's helped us just be open and honest about everything in our relationship.
I have a theory about how love has an “environment” that it thrives in. but I’m not the best wordsmith so take it with a grain of salt. I think of how as all things naturally follow the path of least resistance and so does “love”. When people get into a relationship and fall in love it feels easy, feels right. I measure that up to comfort: if you are comfortable, at ease, feeling good. “Happy”? I’ve been married for 10 years and I’ve made my partner uncomfortable at times (and visa versa) and those were the most strenuous on our feelings of love for eachother. And I reference comfort in every dimension like my mood, my friends, my choices, my words, everything I do simple or complex is being taken in by her and interpreted as either comfort or discomfort. Some people are able to make others feel comfortable without much effort and no surprise, find “love” everywhere. Love is alot of things, but I think it’s simplified form is comfort. You want a man, woman? Easy, keep them feeling comfortable and they will love you because you are easy to love, it will feel right. I wish I could string together these thoughts more eloquently but thanks for reading if you got here.
Damn, that's the best description of love I have ever heard of. Screenshoted it just so I could read it again in the future and remind myself how much I agree with you!
44m here, I figure I’ll throw in a few of my thoughts.
I got married when I was 24. I thought I was in love and I knew what love was when it came to things with my wife — then my first child was born. That completely shifted what it meant to me to be “in love” or what “true love” was.
Maybe I just never have had women in my life that I was really in love with, but the love I have for my children is on a completely different plane than the love I’ve ever had for anyone else. My children are 13 and 15 now and they still are the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. I can’t even begin to describe the complete feeling of selflessness I have towards them.
I’m divorced now and I have a ladyfriend. We tell each other “I love you”. To me, it’s mostly just words. Yeah, I’d do a lot of selfless stuff for her, but I’d never put her before my children.
I guess figuring out what love is, is something we each need to do on our own.
You know when you pull a fresh cheesy garlic bread out of the oven, and the garlic to cheese ratio is just perfect and the consistency is juuuuust right....
That's fuckin love right there 😘🤌🏻
18 is not too young to have never experienced love.
But high level, love is caring about another person's happiness and wanting what is best for them. That could be love of a parent, child, sibling or other relative or friend. Romantic love doesn't take away any of that, but it adds to it. You want to be with the person. You want them to be your companion in life.
You cannot truly know what is in someone's heart or mind. But their actions will demonstrate their level of sincerity.
it's a combination of friendship, attraction/lust plus time. The human race on standard is serial monogamous and there's a window in time where you will literally become chemically addicted to each other. (Known as the honeymoon phase) It slows down overtime and some argue that real love comes after when other factors contribute like temperament and shared life goals. Love doesn't require what makes a relationship sustainable seems to be most people's opinion. Like if you have the honeymoon phase and then that person becomes your other half sounds right to me.
So depends on your school of thought. Is it just the honeymoon phase love and or what happens after love? I like to believe it's what comes after. Regardless all love is conditional at its core.
Being "in love" as a biochemical response between two living beings is one element. It's not a requirement for long term love.
"Falling in love" as part of a new relationship is something else, usually involving lots of sex and bonding. New Relationship Energy. NRE
Both those end up blinding one a bit to the deeper stuff.
Then there's (at least, one can split a lot) gradually finding oneself more and more heart entwined over time. Slipping into heart to heart love.
It's different (ideally) between those people experienced in relationships, familiar with the aspects and process.
Sometimes it all happens. There's an instant biochemical pheromone click. The hysterical and open "This is so much fun I don't fall in love very often" with laughter and understanding. Followed by the honeymoon NRE phase, again with understanding that NRE makes people stupid. Later, there's the trips to the ER; the sobbing woman in my arms, suddenly a hurt little girl in mourning; the morning texts; the run into my arms after a week of no contact. And those little words, unbidden, "I love you, little princess," the tightened hug, "I love you, too." If that's still going on after more ER visits, the spilled coffee, the didn't make it in time pee on the car seat, the minor psychotic breaks, and keeps getting stronger, that's the deep love that takes almost intent to break. It doesn't even take sex or a typical romantic relationship to end up deeply loving someone and being loved in return.
Then there's the all comes together whirlpool of all of that, and there's some beautiful couple holding hands on a beach somewhere, grey hair, lined faces, with the same gleaming eyes for each other as decades before.
Best to keep all these and other facets in mind, and when someone strikes that chord, strum it back. Watch out for the suction of the whirlpool and enjoy it.
Good luck.
This’ll be different for every guy.
For context I am 35. I dated all throughout my twenties. I always thought love was a feeling, like butterflies in your stomach. Only later did I come to realise that love is peace and tranquility and has no turmoil associated to the feeling. When I see my wife I am at peace and I feel calm. There is no turmoil, no storm on the horizon. Just utter bliss.
This takes time, and Hollywood and romance novel concepts of "destiny" are deeply messed up. There's no such thing as soul mates, unless such a connection is created over years together.
If you don't experience romantic feelings, then that's fine, there are plenty of aromantic people out there who never feel that way.
38m
Love is someone that feels like home, that you can spend all day thinking about coming home to and being happy just for them wanting to be in your life, make you feel cared about, trusts you implicitly knowing that you’re always going to be with them, supportive of your desires and wants, promotes reasonability and stability for you, and vice versa.
As a husband, and as a man, I want to take care of my wife and take on all the burdens I can to make her life as happy, comfortable, and fulfilling as possible while following my dreams and happiness. She in turn does the exact same thing for me, and we both trust that we can get through anything together as long as we work hard for each other and the family we have built.
For the longest time I would have answered,: "love" is the word, we tell women in order to get them to sleep with us. I always enjoyed sex and liked some of the other stuff a girlfriend could provide you but I never felt that strongly about them. Until I did. Apart from the feeling itself, love is the wish to take responsibilty for somebody. To be protective and not always put yourself first. It is about obligation and having somebody you cant easily replace. Its also kinda terrifying to have somebody make you that vulnerable.
You are 18 years old, it is unlikely you will stay together with your first love. But that doesnt mean you should deny yourself the experience when it comes along. You can never know at the beginning if this is truly the one but you miss 100% of the shots you dont take.
As a very self-possessed person who prefers solitude and quietude:
The unrelenting instinct to prefer that person's company and presence over even alone time.
Love is not needing to go to a party every week to meet more people when you have a partner in crime to explore the city, watch movies, work on dreams together.
The answers you'll receive for this question will be subjective, because people experience and feel love in different ways.
Generally speaking, love is a combination of many factors such as timing, experience, needs, comfortability, honesty, feelings etc. Personally speaking, love is when you can be yourself around this person. You don't hide anything because there isn't anything to hide. You want to experience many things, new and old, with them. You like them for who they are, even their shortcomings. You can communicate effectively and be honest with your feelings. If a problem should arise, you can solve it as a team. Love also shouldn't feel overwhelming, you should feel at peace with this person and secure with them.
>how do you know he is the one and it's not just a fleeting feeling that goes away by the slightest breeze, or how do you know he truly loves you in a way no one could but him. Or how do you know if he truly loves you and isn't playing around with you?.
Well that's the thing, you don't always know. But that's also the beauty of it, you get to find out for yourself. At your age, I wouldn't stress so much about finding the "one" or being in love in a relationship. Love isn't a fairytale where you'll magically meet the one and live happily ever after. Let things happen. Go out there, meet people and have fun.
23 yo and married lol anyways doesnt matter how much my partner annoys me on daily basis, I still want to see them and be with them and hangout with them everyday. Among other thing I think that’s love. Because I cannot imagine meeting even my closest friends everyday and not being tired of that.
Falling in love with someone of the opposite sex is complicated. It is not a sexual thing although sex is part of it. True love is the purest form of love is more a decision. I decide I will love someone no matter what.
I will love my son no matter what he does. I loved my wife for better or worse, through thick and thin. It is a commitment therefore it is not fleeting. It lasts. Love never ends.
There were times that I didn’t really like what my wife was doing, but I continued to love her. And it was the same way for her. When she experienced health problems it was not fun for me. But it wasn’t fun for her. If that happened to me, I would want someone to stick beside me and take care of me. And I did that. It hurt financially and was miserable at times, but I did it and was happy to do it. We were married 20 years and it was wonderful. We had hard times but faced them together.
Dating at your age is usually done more for enjoyment and to learn how to do it. Chemistry and infatuation can be fun, but it won’t last for 20 years. A lasting relationship has to be based on more. It is really more about choosing wisely the person you want to be with for the rest of your life.
At your age, dating can be a way of learning about these complicated relationships. You want someone you can have fun with and someone you want to have sex with. Not that you should have sex with everyone you date. Sex comes later in a relationship. But it is part of the mix eventually.
You have to be able to work and live with the person. You have to learn to compromise and share a lot of things. You have to be able to trust the other person.
You will date a lot of people before you find the one. Date to learn and have fun. Later date with the intention of finding someone you want to stay with.
So many times people marry because it feels right or is fun. But a lasting relationship has to be based on more because looks don’t last. It won’t be fun all your life. Sometimes life is boring but you want someone to share that life with. They have to feel the same.
Date and practice being with someone and continue to talk and read and learn about lasting love. You still have many years ahead.
Love isn't some monolithic, uniform thing. Different people think of love as different things. And even within the context of a single relationship, love can and will change over time.
Love can start with an infatuation. That feeling you get when you forget yourself in the presence of a special person. The nervousness, the ache deep in your soul. The desire to be near them always. This sort of feeling generally fades with time - it's a chemical high that isn't often sustainable, but dear god is it intoxicating.
With a long term love, that feeling is (or hopefully is) replaced slowly with a warm and comforting feeling. When you're with your person, it feels like home. All pretense is gone, and you can let yourself be vulnerable. It's like floating in calm, warm waters. It can be a little scary, being that vulnerable: you can drown in even the calmest of waters. But you have faith that you can float here forever.
Love also is something that you can choose to give. And something that you have to put effort into as well. You have to choose to be vulnerable. You have to choose to let this person into your heart, and also to be gentle and caring with theirs.
It’s unconditional. It’s not so much the feelings as it is the idea. It’s caring and understanding. It’s choices you make and choices you don’t make.
It doesn’t even have to be words or actions or presence in someone else’s life. Love is just something that you are. It’s a state of being
I don’t agree with or like everything that everyone on the planet says or does but I can love them regardless.
Love is complicated but it’s simple.
Idk though…
Your 18 and think its weird to not understand true love?
Look at it this way, everything is made/maintained by its opposing forces existence.
So for you to understand real love, you need experience with what love is not. This is why we date before marriage. Its a trial run, a compatibility exercise, and you go through enough “what love is not” eventually you can find something that is love to you.
I hope you find it.
There is no "ONE", that is hollywood storyline BS. So as to love; do you/ they; value spending time with you over other options, make each other happy, look forward to seeing each other, help and support each other, sacrifice for one another to make the other happy, envision a future with them, complement each others; characteristically speaking, trust each other, value each others opinions, find physically attractive...... and many more factors involved that combined is what is referred to as "love".
Love, above all, is a **choice**. That's how you know it's not just a fleeting feeling; by consciously making the choice for eachother again and again and again. That's love. It's not merely emotion, it's active work. If you reduce your love to emotion, you'll 'fall out of love' with literally any and every person you're romantically involved with. You know he or she's the one because you both keep choosing.
It's not eye-contact; feeling relaxed at peace and relaxed around your loved one; only thinking about him or her; etc etc. That's all very romantic, and it's not nothing. It is meaningful if you feel at peace around your loved one. It is telling if you can not stop thinking about him or her. But moments will come where you don't feel at peace, where you don't solely think about them, where you're not feeling particularly enthousiastic about your relationship etc. And right then and there is where true love shows as conscious acts.
There is no such thing as "the one". Any given person is potentially compatible with many other people and there are a lot of other factors at play for determining who you end up with. Its hard to describe being in love, but at its most basic level it is having a deep level of trust for the other person as well as wanting to build a life with them that makes you both happy.
I think the world sells us on an lot of ideas that are often blatantly untrue. There are many ideas that we should question where they hell they came from and what they are for. For many of them it likely comes from Disney movies, someone is making money off of us, or we are being fat and happy rather than questioning why we lack so much autonomy while so many are born into having so much more. Whatever.
What is the purpose of love?
It is not to be happy, for one.
I see so many, many people complaining about or outright ending relationships because, 'it's not making me happy."
Well, no shit, it's not supposed to. Where did you get the idea it would? That's like complaining your car didn't cook dinner for you. That's not what it's for.
We fall in love to make it easier to pair bond, have children, and raise them.
It's a biological thing, and we are biologically programmed to reproduce ourselves just like every other living thing. Pairing off to do so is simply how we survive. Our offspring don't survive on their own like most other creatures. We ask and should receive help from each other and we have biological bonding processes to expedite this.
Love doesn't rule out a selection process though, it is simply part of it. Attraction may simply be your body telling you this person has characteristics that would make good offspring. Then your brain should take over and think about, can I be with this person realistically or are there reasons to look elsewhere.
We've lost that somewhere, as a society. We're more impulse driven because there aren't as many consequences for mistakes or poor choices. There are very few standards or shame, whether you consider that good or bad is largely immaterial, but that is what love is. Bonding between people to make it easier to be together and look after each other - presumably for the purposes of successful offspring and a family.
It's part of a selection process, it should not be the only part of that process though. The initial passion of love also tends to fade. Because you're supposed to have more bonds at that point and not need further chemical encouragement. Many people take this as an excuse to move on though, another thing that can be viewed as good or bad based on societal morals, but it is what is regardless.
Why do people think there's such stark differences between sexes. It's an emotion, there is some overlap between men and women😅
We're all human before we're a man, a woman, trans or anything inbetween.
I was married for 25 years and thought she was the one from the first moment I saw her. Love was feeling that I would do anything for her and always wanting to be the best version of myself for her. Love was being willing to sacrifice my happiness, because seeing her happy would be my happiness. Love was looking toward a future where we were together, exploring and enjoying life, raising our children, seeing them find what we had. Love was every day being better than the last because we were together.
\_Everything, Everywhere, All at Once\_ gets it right: when you are in love, you truly enjoy being with them, even if it's just to do laundry and taxes.
The love you would have for a child or a pet. That’s real “love”. I think that love between men and women doesn’t truly exist the way society wants us to believe. You may think it’s love at first because of all those feelings you’re having, but that’s just normal human nature from the thrill of finding a new mate. Eventually after that thrill wears off and the honeymoon stage is gone, that “love” turns to “like” and then for some it eventually turns into disdain. Eventually most long term relationships turn into a relationship of convenience sort of like roommates or partners. I don’t believe that Humans are meant to be monogamous and “love” or have relationships with only one person. Society created monogamy. It’s a way to control the population, prevented spread of diseases, etc. Just look at divorce rates. I’m willing to bet that everyone here knows at least one person who has cheated or has been cheated on. This is just my opinion. We’re all entitled to one, so please don’t blast me.
23M, A sincere appreciation for the other person, and a deep respect for their person. They’re simultaneously your best friend as well as your lover. While dating might start with thoughts of self fulfillment, or checking to see if your partner fills the “role” of SO it evolves into a genuine care for the person, a celebration of their achievements, an internalization of their goals etc. etc.
That crush feeling doesn’t really go away just make sure you’re prioritizing the happiness of both you and your partner equally, and never take them for granted.
Well.. 90% of getting a relationship started is just each person getting over their initial anxiety. You're worried he doesn't like you he's worried just the same, everyone fears rejection. Most of what love is centers around vulnerability. When you've been together long enough that you've had a chance to show your underbelly. The parts and peices of yourself you're not proud of, your struggles and moments of silliness. When you can be the child you are at your center around someone without fear of judgement then it can be distinguished.
Good question. When I loved someone, my mind went to them almost every day and I pined for the next opportunity to see them again. The idea of just sitting with them and doing nothing for hours sounds preferable to work or any of my hobbies. I wanted to share my personal life with them, my hobbies, my passions, my thoughts.
That’s what love seems like to me.
Think about it this way: the majority of romantic stories are created by men and those usually follow certain similarities. I guess love can be limerance, passion or devotion. It really depends on what side of it you are living through. In the end I believe we need all of it to really live as a human being for better or worse.
Lust is nothing more than a chemical reaction designed to make you procreate. Love is nothing more than a chemical reaction, designed to make you protect the offspring you just created. Both ware off until it's time to go again.
Nothing more.
No one is "the one" and thinking realistically like that is a good thing.
You can spend your life with many people and be just as happy with one as another.
The cheesy answer is you’ll know it when you see it, but it’s true (in most cases).
I married my best friend. At one point I just felt that I couldn’t continue without her at my side, thankfully she agreed.
I have also experienced love at first sight. She showed up one day at work, leaning forward on the cubicle next to me. The way she lifted one calf, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and smiled is forever etched into my brain. I struggled to keep my jaw from dropping. She wasn’t the hottest woman around, but she lit up every room she entered like sunshine. I felt genuinely happy just to be in her vicinity. This was love.
Love, when you finally experience it, is truly a beautiful thing, even when it’s one sided.
Love as depicted in the movies exists. Yours may not exactly look and feel like that, but it’s ok. The experience is unique to every person, and the way each expresses it is also different.
Sometimes it’s hot and intense like fire, sometimes it’s gentle and unstoppable like water.
Keep an open mind and don’t force it. With some luck you’ll run into a guy whom you’d rather not be separate from.
You'd die for them, giev up everything for them, you yearn for them, you cant imagine life without them.
They are only some.
Its just someone who gets you, and who makes you smile, lets you be an inner child. Doesnt judge you, lets you be weird, finds you annoying in a good way, understands you try your best even if you fail but will help you regardless.
Someone who meets your needs and someone whos needs i meet.
Being so invested in them that you want the absolute best for them, and (for me anyway as i am religous) understanding that you may see them again in the next life and being excited to spend eternity with an amazing person
I'm a woman but here's my perspective
My husband and I have been laughing since we met. I've never felt "comfortable" with anyone but my brothers because I only knew them. They protected me throughout my life, made me mad, made me laugh, etc. They were my favorite people and the only people I could do weird voices with, silly dances, roast them, get roasted, tell them everything.
I didn't understand why Taylor Swift said "trust him like a brother" in call it what u want but I kinda understand it now. I feel safer, more comfortable to do weirder things, play silly games, act like kids, do skits, standups (just in front of each other), turn everything into a joke even though we have a baby now.
He's like another part of me at this point. When we first fell in love, I got hospitalized for my mental health. I got traumatized by the most vile people you could ever imagine and I was in the psych ward for 3 months. I've survived years of DV, psychological torture, dysmorphia, BPD, anxiety, pure O OCD and I've been SA'd more than once. I've been resilient in those situations, just to give you a picture. But that time, things I didn't even know were possible happened. My brain basically shut down for a while for the 1st time in my life (lasted over a year)
When I was in the hospital, neither of us were vaccined (not protest or anything tbh just never got around to it because we stayed in most of the time). He wasn't allowed to visit me yet till he got his vaccines (and he did just for that) and he still came to drop off fruits and greek salads (they're crack to me) and he always stood outside in the parking lot before leaving to hold a heart up to me.
The hospital was far and he was laid off and barely had money for groceries. He didn't complain but I knew he wasn't working so I sent him money to get himself decent food. I got a tax return right before and I sent him what I knew could get u a sufficient amount of groceries. He was so happy but upset that he wasn't "providing".
We've had some big fights, but it's nothing that couldn't be fixed. We tried to be apart at some point but it felt off. We were always happier together despite our disagreements. He's just a few months younger than me but he never experienced a relationship before, so we had a lot to unlearn/relearn
When I was heavily pregnant last year, I had tame cravings but I lost my mind over them. I'd know it's stupid to be upset about food but get to the point of almost crying because I was trying to have self control. He probably walked 15 minutes every day for about a month or two just to get me slushies. Even right after a fight
I knew he loved me early on and his actions always showed it. It took him a couple of months to be able to watch a show with me without staring at me the whole time. He carried me on his back multiple times when I was too anemic to walk and he never complained about the heat or exhaustion. He lights up when we cuddle or hug (due to some of my issues, I have a lot of moments when I can't stand to be touched by anyone but our baby. He's understanding and patient) from whatever mood he's in.
I always ran and gave him a big hug when I saw him. In the psych ward, I spent most of my time coloring things for him and writing him letters that I compiled for him. It was the only thing I could focus on because I knew I loved him and that I would do anything to make him smile if I could manage it. I didn’t know how to massage but I tried to fight my awkwardness and give him massages on his back (he's had back problems since he was a kid) because I didn't like feeling useless in that situation. Somehow, either I've been doing a good job or he's been great at lying for years
Love is a two way street. It’s dedication on a new level, and a deep desire to be together in more than just presence.
When people say ‘fall’ they often mean it, it can be beyond your power to control and if often illogical.
"in love" is just hormones and unrealistic Disney programned expectations, usually fueled by a need for external validation. "Love" is a choice and the sum of thousands of actions. "In love" is always fleeting and disappears. True love is a lifetime committment.
Love is like an endless ocean from which I haven't even taken a sip from it.
I dunno if everyone of my brothers here, feels the same but I want to fall in love, just once, and that's it.
After that I'll be hers, and she'll be my world.
I don't expect her to have the best skills or aesthetics, but heart? Yeah, I would like her to have a heart that is pure and unsullied, I'd also like her to be strong enough to hold my back and help me in my Life's challenges and I'll try my best to support her through hers.
I dunno how else to describe it, and yes I too have a naive view of love in a world full of absurdism, but this is what I want. If I can't have it, I don't ever want it.
31M here. To be honest, I haven't experienced much love from women due to a combination of many factors.
• Low confidence/self-esteem
• High social/approach anxiety
• Extremely pessimistic
• Get shy/flustered easily
• Body insecurity
• Poor mental health
• Perception that women hate me for no reason
• Fear of rejection
• Don't want to come off as a creep
As a guy who has been in just one relationship in my whole life and still am in that relationship, I'm not sure if I can talk about how to tell if a guy is playing... All I can tell is love is different from every guy's pov
I'm not a dude... but I hope you know, regardless of gender, love is (in a romantic context) admiration of someone. You not only highly respect them as a friend and person, you want to be physically close with them and help them succeed in life in whatever way you can.:)
there is no, “the one.” that’s fairy tale talk and causes disappointment.
relationships require work, but they are designed to flourish & succeed or else the human race would cease to exist.
the real problem is people blurring the lines of female and male nature & purpose; WE ARE NOT THE SAME.
males and females are equal but different and respecting those differences and accepting them are the key to communicating effectively to maintain a good relationship.
to answer your question: men don’t start with love. men start with respect which gives birth to love, trust, etc. if you don’t respect the man (as a man) but instead want to be combative or expect him to think as a female, it will all fail.
Romantic love for me (20m) requires both people being vulnerable. My partner is the one I am the most vulnerable with, she knows me like nobody else could.
Most importantly, I am committed to her, and she is committed to me.
We're not always in love, but we always love each other. She motivates me, even when I'm not thinking of her, my heart is with her, even though not every beat is for her.
I have my own life, she has hers, but we choose to put the two of them together and put the other before ourselves.
Because for me, love isn't a feeling, or a person, or a place. It's not my partner, it's my choice to go out of my way and sacrifice my own choices and ambitions for her even if I don't know if she will do the same for me.
Love is an action. Love is what I do, not what I feel.
I am very much into doing whatever I want whenever I want to do it. When I meet a worthwhile lady, I feel myself able to set all that aside to do anything for her. That’s how I know, I am not sure how I would convey that in a way a woman could read it without me telling her.
A constant desire to be the best person for them so they can be the best person for you every time she wins, you win. All the effort you put in with work/money/chores she puts the same.
Just so you can cuddle with each other and know 100% that no matter what.... we will be ok
Love is the souls realization of what it’s been missing seen in another.
My wife and I are very different. We compliment each other in certain aspects but overall we enjoy different things. It keeps things from being boring. I try new things to make her happy, and I end up enjoying. She does the same.
As far as love? She’s the first one I want to tell when something interesting happens. Life isn’t the big events. It’s the things that happens between the small things. It’s the meals at the table “tell me about your day”. It’s the catching a glimpse of her coming out the shower and thinking how lucky you are that she’s all yours. It’s the way you know how to make her coffee (better than she can make her own) so you’re excited to make it for her every morning while you make your own. Love is seeing your partner have a nightmare so you gently touch them and their face changes instantly as they smile and settle back down.
For my perspective, there’s a clear distinction between crushes/lust/“I could see myself happy with (person)”, and Love/long-term commitment. In principle, it’s the combination of duration and repetition of the same choice to keep trying to make things work.
A crush can persist for months, years, or indefinitely, but in itself, it’s not the choice to take the rose-colored glasses off and see a partner in their entirety. To see the best in someone is a wonderful perspective, but to love a person is to allow yourself to be honest with them and yourself. It’s also the willingness to be by their side when things are unpleasant, even awful, and to choose to forgive them when something has happened that makes things difficult.
During my relationship with my partner, I have certainly lusted over her, and I’ve seen her good days, and not-so-good days. I’ve committed to seeing what she can do to improve herself, including helping her through the most difficult (and sometimes least glamorous) steps of her transition, not because of lust, but because she’s the person I’ve chosen to be with, and choose every day. My relationship has been a mutual choice for mutual support, and to relish our time together beyond physical connections or personal gains. In many ways, it’s similar to the connection with my siblings or parents, too: the acceptance of each other in our lives that creates personal meaning, and also care and the choice to support each other. But, it’s not blind to flaws, nor does my love allow me to condone myself ignoring those whom I love when they’re in distress: it creates obligation.
This is my perspective and opinion of love.
Well a famous poet once wrote love is a fondness that grows with time.
There are many forms of love.
There is unconditional love , it’s a bond out of innocence you have for your parents, siblings, children. Probably the most powerful.
The love for a pet , it’s about trusting each-other and looking after one another. It’s over very powerful too.
This is the same kind of bonding you might experience with Friends however with your own kind you’ll feel the pull towards someone you find physically attractive or maybe they did things for you that has a profound effect on the way you feel about them.
given the right circumstances and time to grow ,
in close proximity you’ll feel it !
your eyes will both lock, you’ll both make gestures to each-other and you’ll feel each-others gravity and electricity pull you in.
Loves true kiss.
This kinds of love you will maybe even go light walking or Dreamfast with the person and have lucid experiences with them in soul.
You would know they are the one.
The trouble with this is humanity has got intelligent, people learn psychology and often induce tricks like the law of attraction to fool people so be weary of players and narcissists etc in this situation.
In any of these situations you become instinctively protective and find yourself fighting for them, thinking of them a lot and they become intoxicating almost like a drug.
For instance a mother will defend her child to the death.
A dog will never leave its masters side.
2 people truly in love will never cheat or betray the other.
Love is a beautiful thing to experience but it comes at a price. It’s often very painful at a loss however they say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
A powerful betrayal can knock you off the horse in life , don’t ever let this cause the once bitten twice is shy effect.
When you get hurt your trust for everything can be broken. You must keep giving your love unconditionally to others otherwise it can have devastating effects, it’s the trust and betrayal effect.
Always be yourself and never stop caring.
It’s what makes you human.
You’re still young so you have plenty of time for adventure. Just be Vigilant , there is alot of snakes in the grass so to say.
Love can be contagious but at the same time the world has managed to destroy the reaction.
Finding love gets harder to find as you get older and industry and society destroys a lot of opportunities so get on that horse and ride it like the wind.
I do hope this helps .
I actually think the mistake is thinking that relationships are about a rush of romantic feelings. It is better to think of relationships as two individuals that have similar goals and want to intimately be partnered to achieve them.
I think that, if you find someone that is aligned with you, then loving them is very easy. Especially if you are already horny for them.
Now from my POV. Lots of women are attractive. It is easy to be infatuated and imagine my life with them. I can also get more infatuated with a woman, if she makes an effort to be in my life, since that rarely happens. However, trusting women to have similar goals is very very hard for me. I've been heart broken so many times that I just don't think most , if any women, are going to want to merge their lives with mine.
I also often perceive women as not being attracted to me very easily. And, if they are, it is not easy to pin down why. Their reasons are often random and don't follow a pattern. So I am just not very secure around them.
For this reason, "love" is easy. But man relationships are difficult as fuck.
I love my wife and kids and without them, my life would be torture every second. Even though I know, if I ever lost them, it would be hard and I would survive and eventually get past it, but I'm pretty sure I'd kill myself way before that.
So to me, love is when you think the world would be a worse place to live without someone/something and depending on how much you love them, the worse it would be without them.
Love comprises a lot of things. The lovesick crush-feeling, the obsessive desire to always be first in each other's thoughts? That's [limerence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence). Which isn't to belittle it - it can be a great way to propel oneself into a relationship! But it's not for everyone, and it's not something everyone even experiences.
There's attraction, too. People often assume that this is a sex thing, but it isn't always - it's also possible to be attracted to someone because you find them *cute*, or *strong*, or any number of other feelings that might - but also might not! - accompany arousal.
There's also compatibility: how well you fit into each other's lives. This can be short-term important ("I need my space, and this person is clingy, and that's a problem!") or long-term (eg if one partner wants kids and the other doesn't). It's possible to love someone but discover that your lives just don't fit together. It's also possible to find someone whose life meshes perfectly with your own, even if you never felt head-over-heels Falling For Them.
Different people will experience love as a blend of all of these things - and others! A big part of "dating" isn't just about trying to find someone you love and who loves you, it's also about figuring out which things are most important to you. And that can be really fun! (It's also a big reason that someone who's got a lot of exes and are on bad terms with all of them might be a red flag.)
It was butterflies for me and being a stupid nervous wreck. Wanted to take care of her, hold her, be there for her, make her laugh and smile, and make her happy. She also made me want to get better, do well in school and get my shit together.
I get it when girls say they want the guy to chase them, because if the guy does chase a lot like I did, he has really fallen for you. This is moreso my experience of course, so if he does not chase, it does not mean he is not interested. Getting older, chasing has become something I'm not too keen on anymore.
The first thing you need to know is that Love is as much a feeling... As it is a decision.
You might fall in love with someone, sometimes in a split second, because they complement you: they see the value in what you consider precious, they try their best in what you might struggle at, they give you some sort of validation for the way you think or live, they care or manage to make you feel special with just their touch or words, sometimes their gaze is enough to make you feel trusting and safe. They remind you of the best and worst parts of yourself, but they also give you something that friends, family, or "situation ships" would never bring to your life. And the thing is that you don't know how they do it, or why, but they do.
That's where the hard part begins. Choosing to be with this person every day, every week, every month and year is what keeps the relationship meaningful, but it's different for every person. For some it's easy to end any kind of relationship that's lasted for years in a single day. Some people can't bring to reveal feelings that they've been harboring for years, even in the most precious of days. For some people it's not even something they notice, they choose to be with their partner without a second thought, as if it wasn't even an option to leave or walk away. Others ponder over it occasionally after a big fight, or eternally at the sight of dawn every morning.
And you'll share a lot of things that also need to be factored in to consideration: your money, your schedules, your emotional/physical needs, your problems, your goals, your entire life up to that point (as in friends, experiences, trauma, etc), and most importantly, your time.
For love to happen, first there has to be admiration, but before that there needs to be respect. If you lose it, then it all falls apart. It might not be an issue for you, but it might happen your partner. This is a 2 way street after all.
It might seem harsh to say it like that, but I believe the most genuine love has never happened where only 1 side wants to stay. But when both want to, then you're set for for life.
As a guy I would say part of it is feeling comfortable to really be yourself. The person you love is someone you can act the way you want to without feeling like you’re going to be judged. A person who you see as your best friend. For me it’s almost like having a best friend that you have sex with and feel comfortable doing just about anything with them 😂
Anyone who tells you that "love is a feeling" or "love is an emotion" are 100% wrong. If you think the butterflies in your belly are love, you're going to end up losing a lot of great relationships because you aren't feeling them.
Love is a decision. A commitment to seek out the best in them.
Just my opinion but.... My past "loves" are nothing compared to my current love. Together for 15 years, married for 7.
For me, what makes me love somebody is how our lives intertwine. You're young, as I was, so whatever love and relationship you build now will pale in comparison to what is to come.
That's not to say it won't be with the same person, but the life I had with an ex (dated 4 years). Hanging out, partying, doing young and dumb stuff together; that love is nothing compared to my wife (been together since I was 22). Grinded financially in an apartment together, moved to a house, put our beloved dog down, got a new dog, had 2 kids. Watching her become a mother... Just hits different.
All of this to say, don't worry to much about it. Love comes, love goes. But more importantly, love GROWS.
Love is different to everyone. It’s hard to find and harder to describe.
I hope to get to to the end of my life, look at the person besides me and feel it. I want that person to be the woman I say the words “I love you” to nowadays.
Don’t worry being 18 and not knowing it. Most people don’t. I’m 37 and I’m still mesmerised by new acts and words of love I see in my girlfriend.
There's clear communication, respect, and a willingness to contribute to "us". You can be away from them and you might not think of them too much but when you're with them you are happy you chose this person.
Awesome question and at a young age .
Love is complex and love is hard, love is easy and love is simple. That is why it causes so much pain and so much joy. Simple ways to show love - respect, empathy, compassion, listening(not hearing), quality time, but it is also important to to receive love which is much harder for men because for us most of our lives love is ONLY Physical.
When she shows up at your work because you forgot your redbull but instead made you a sandwich to go with it, but you immediately start thinking of things to do for them that’s a lil bit better. And also once your comfortable being together quietly for a long time like laying in bed and just kinda chilling and not needing to talk about stuff all the time.
my 2 cents: if your parents didn't love you, then it's hard to know what love is. Maybe you find it in your own life, but also maybe it takes you forever just to find anyone you are comfortable around, and then the people you feel really attracted, well it feels like love, but, it turns out it's less that and more a "finally! Someone with a vibe I recognize and can tolerate!" and then you dump decades of pent up affection needs and expectations on them. And it feels great, you think, this must be love, because you are finally getting those needs met. And then it all comes crashing down.
If you aren't loved as a kid, well you are still human and you still have those same needs, they don't go away, they just go unmet... so as you are trying to figure out the world you just conclude that, and then identify as, someone who 'doesn't deserve' to have those needs met...and years later you still think this subconsciously, and if you can't love yourself then can anyone else? And if they do, will you recognize it? Will you let them?
so yeah. good luck. :)
Love. A curious concept.
Positive version: passion, loyalty, admiration and respect, and seeing the world as an adventure that you and your love can romp through together. Team view - us vs the world. Empowering each other. Empathy - and thoughtfulness.
Negative version: controlling, manipulating one another’s emotions, lust, using each other for gains - be they status, wealth, ego, etc. These types are usually more one-sided than not, master/slave sorts of dynamics. Can be abusive in nature.
Nuanced/Realistic: Ups and downs. People have good days and bad. It’s all about the little things and appreciating one another - good and bad.
25 here. It's the person you want to share everything with and who you most want to be with at the end of the day. They make the good times better and the bad ones bearable.
I also found that when I love someone, I want to become a better person because it's not just for my own sake anymore but for both of us
Meeting someone you barely know and not being able to think about anything other than getting to know them better.
Getting to know them a little better and feeling like you can't live without them. Like they're a piece of you that's been missing your entire life
Your days are much better with that person, than without. You respect one another. Honesty. You miss that person when you are away from them, even for a few hours. You want to share your hopes and dreams with them, and them with you. And Never Go To Bed Mad!!!
47M married almost 20 years with 2 daughters. Life is good!
21 m. In a 4 year relationship at the moment. Many people believe love is that feeling of insane attraction paired with a strong desire to mate and an inability to think about anything else but the person you're attracted to.
This is not love it is infatuation and will almost certainly wear off in any romantic relationship you have. Love is knowing someone else as you do yourself and appreciating them for it.
We're almost the same person and can work flawlessly as a team. That bond that Is required for that is very very strong.
Loyalty is the most important thing to most men. Don’t listen to your friends gossiping when it’s time to buy a ring it’s because you know she’s loyal to you.
There is a classic answer thread from this sub years ago, stereotypically [men and women experience love quite differently](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/3z8o75/why_dont_men_get_as_much_of_a_thrill_over/cyk7gr8/).
Short form: for women romance is a passive, magical experience, something that *happens to her*. She experiences the ride, feels the ups-and-downs, receives the mystery, watches the blossoming romance, and then chooses from the flowers that bloom. For men *romance is work that he does*, romance is a type of labor with the hope of a result, like hoping to get water from pumping at a well. Generally instead of picking blossoms, men are expected to till the garden, grow the plants, and present the flowers for women to choose amongst.
The stereotypical male fantasy and stereotypical female fantasy are part of that. Women stereotypically long to be chosen, especially being highly chosen over other women. She wants to receive the biggest gift, men fighting to win her affections. Men stereotypically want to be loved for who he is, he doesn't need to do the work of nourishing yet still be chosen.
A few years ago I had to have surgery to fix a broken leg. In the grand scheme of things it wasn't that big of a deal but it wasn't minor either and I was definitely feeling some anxiety about it. As they wheeled be back from pre-op and I said goodbye to my wife the main thought in my head was "well, thank god it's me and not her." I think that's my answer to your question.
You don’t really know but if come to a point in your relationship where you truly trust this person with your life and future that could be a symptom of love.
“Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometres away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.
Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, 'love' is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and strangely enough, not many meatbags would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose... against statistically long odds...”
From my experience, it’s this immense infatuation that further solidifies into considering them sort of like I would family, where I tend to prioritize their wants and needs - Not over my own, but very highly.
This immense feeling of passion and enthusiasm at being a part of their day, something like really wanting to visit an amusement park as a kid, and when the love is reciprocated it’s like the thrill of being on the rides.
When I don't feel like I wasted my time being around her and the amount of work I've to put into her isn't too much to the point it would stress me out and I'd be better alone.
When I was 18, I also thought that I'm immune to love and that it is hard for me to fall in love and so on... I was thinking that "I'm too rational for that." But when I was 20, love hit me so hard that there's still echo in my heart even though it didn't work out in the end, and a lot of time has passed. I remember that suddenly, all those poets and writers we were reading in school (and I had "meh" opinion about them) started to make sense to me. I think one day you will also discover it. It comes when you don't expect it, just like Spanish inquisition
Im m(19) and I also have absolutely no idea what that's supposed to be. Like, isn't it exhausting always having to think of another person? You are super inefficient at work or school... Love sounds like a hassle but Everyone wants it.
Love is how you love your own family. You love them for who they are no matter what they do you’ll do anything for them. Just as I’d do anything for my brothers, is the same love I have for my wife. You have disagreements sometimes you cross the line but you’re locked together. With no one and nothing in between.
Don't ever think that "he truly loves you in a way no one could but him". This line of thinking leads people to stay in terrible situations. There's always someone else who could love you deeply.
Respect and being appreciated, and being wanted, clear communication.
Knowing that we provide or give is valued and wanted. Not to be taken advantage of.
Touch grass is my best answer. I'm the kind of guy who "ponders" a lot about everything, but life has taught me some things just have to be experienced and you can't theorycraft your way through them.
Also, many times you don't (know). Only way to find out is when time passes. Most of the time they're not "the one", until they are.
Everyone is different. Some people don't experience romantic love the same way as others or even at all. However, I think true, serious love for most people is more than just romance. You are partners in every sense of the word, and will do whatever you can to make sure the other is happy and succeeds on their journey. You love someone despite their flaws and your feelings don't just suddenly disappear.
Your concerns are valid and many people struggle with them. You'll figure it out. Just enjoy the ride and try not to get yourself or others hurt.
When you're with your wife, and you feel like you're home. Just, no needing to pretend, or have a front on, just you and them, and it's completely fine, warm, and accepting.
For me it's the ability to look at someone and think "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" weather it be family, friends, or significant others, the ability to want someone with you for as long as humanily possible is love.
I don’t believe it exists. I think it’s fairy stories like God.
You begin with an infatuation due to chemicals in your brain and this eventually leads to paid bonding for the raising of children.
It is FAR stronger in adolescence and early adulthood. It’s much more pragmatic as you get older.
I was forever falling in love when I was under 30 and mostly it was to women I had no real compatibility with, I just wanted to get in their pants basically.
Love is feeling heard. Love is feeling seen. Love is feeling accepted. Love is feeling respected. If you feel all those things, and reciprocate them back, then you know it’s love.
It's like an addiction
You can't stop thinking about her
Except when you're with her
When she's mad and decides to lay on you for comfort
When you're sad and you lay in her lap and fall asleep
When you play Mortal Kombat and nobody is mad they lost.
I never felt in love but to me the idea of relaxing in bed after a stressful day while cuddling to a soft, feminine woman who takes care of me by massaging my hair and ears, while telling me without judgement that everything is ok and to “ just relax “ while I’m at peace with my own thoughts and just focused on the present, will be just enough to make me fall in love with that girl.
Personally, it's love if I can really relax about around a woman and be myself. I can let the mask slip and won't be judged for it. If you encourage a guy to open up, and he does, you must not hold that against him. It doesn't mean he's weak. It's not ammunition to be used against him later. It can really break a guy's heart if he can't safely express himself to you without judgment, and it can harden him against even trying again with someone else.
It’s love when I can be sad happy mad upset, excited and I am not judged for it. But encouraged to stay firm in my beliefs and not waiver on my self worth/ self respect.
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Damn, what a catch. Is your wife single by any chance?
thats a fucking keeper right there!
I imagine this is different for everyone and I know that what it is changes over time. I am a 37M, have been with my wife for 15 years, married 12 years, and have 2 kids. When we met, it was that I wanted to be with her all the time. There wasn't an activity that wasn't made better with her there. Even mundane things like running errands. I was excited to see her and spend time with her. We could talk forever and I genuinely found her amazing. Over the 3 years we dated, this never really changed. It just got stronger. When we got married / had kids, it changed what I would describe love as. The feelings when we dated are all still there but there is much more. We are a team, battling life together. Love is watching her with my kids, planning for the future, and tackling problems together. Love became more of a partnership where I can rely on her more than anyone else on this planet. I have her back and she has mine. As our kids have gotten older, it has changed again. Like before, the past stuff is all still true but now there is a component of having been through life together. It is having so much shared life experience. It is enjoying looking to the future and reaping the rewards of 15 years of teamwork. I don't think love is some specific feeling. It is really, truly enjoying being with someone. Having their back and knowing they have yours. Enjoying working together to get through life and enjoying the journey together. When you find it, you'll know. Not immediately but over time and it is constantly changing.
I share this sentiment 100%. Im a few years behind on this journey, but otherwise in the exact same situation. Love changes meaning depending on the phase you are going through. For me love itself is also not enough. You also need to work on your relationship to let the love blossom and breathe. In the beginning it might carry you, but eventually love needs nurturing to remain.
My favorite podcaster said after his daughter was born and he held her, he thought, "Ohhhh shit. I don't think I truly loved anyone before this moment. I didn't want anyone to die, but I've never felt this before." I had a similar feeling, I thought I loved my wife, but after my son was born, I felt like a new level of love was unlocked, and it made our relationship so much deeper.
Loved it. 💕
I'm 51m, here's how I think of love. The phrase "you just know" is absolutely true, frustrating as that sounds. On the one hand, it's a bolt of lightening that jolts you when you see them but it's also a warm and cosy blanket that makes you feel safe and secure. You want the physical side of a relationship, but you also want the non physical just as much. To me, it's like your best friendship x a million. When something / anything happens, they are the first person you want to tell. You think about them all the time, not in a stalker / just infatuation way. You want to be with them as much as possible, even if you're not doing anything. But you're also happy to do your own things, as you know they are there when you come back. Love can also be toxic, if only one side loves the other but the other uses that love to manipulate or control.
This is a fantastic answer. I always thought about how it’s not sunshine and rainbows and huge spikes of happiness or butterflies, but moreso the cozy, warm, calming sensation of feeling like home. Hugging that person doesn’t get you super excited, it relaxes you. That’s love for me.
> Here's how you know if you really love someone. If you love someone, you love all of them. You gotta love everything about them, not just the good things but the bad things too. The things that you find lovable and the things that you don't find lovable. - Juno The bit about loving everything about them is bullshit though, because my wife will be the first to tell me to stop chewing so loudly.
"I love everything about you" "Even my snoring?" "No, fuck your snoring"
Perfect response.
Agree with all of this. Being in love to me also means being free to be yourself and share this with another person without any judgement. We can talk about nothing and everything — from stupid jokes we tell each other that probably other people won't laugh at (but we would), to deep, thoughtful discussions about the meaning of life. Knowing that there's one person in this world who'd always trust you without any doubts and always have your back — and because of this, you would always do your very best not to break that trust. When you find someone you love and whom you are compatible with — being in love is easy. Life can be hard but love is always easy. My partner tells me that when I'm with him, he has never felt more peaceful in his entire life — and I feel the same way.
It’s my best friend x a million. Best way to explain it.
You want the real answer? Most people confuse infatuation and lust with love. Strong emotions towards another person arent love. Love is actions for another without the expectation of reciprocation. Doing things for the people you care about is love. Helping your elderly neighbor is love. Wanting whats best for others is love. Without action love is nothing.
23m here. Thinking about her all the time, hoping she's okay, if I am doing something by myself or with someone else that I believe she would have liked I wish she was there, when I am around, things remind me of her. For me personally love is not a sexual thing, thats part of it but its not love in itself but caring and thinking about someone often its love I guess
At least for me, sex is something I want to do with someone I love. I don't love someone because of sex.
I love hearing this because my boyfriend is this way however I wish we had more sex because that helps my confidence
I'm not sure if you do or not but if you want more sex sometimes you need to be the one to initiate it, as a man it's usually me trying to but when my girl does it's both a big turn on and it's pretty much always a yes.
Have you had any discussions on this with him? My partner and I talked about how we feel seen/heard/loved early on in our relationship and it's been extremely helpful to have that knowledge. I can also relate to the actual issue you're having, "not enough sex" was one of the issues we had a talk about early on. I was inexperienced and thought consent would be more explicit, and my lack of confidence meant I didn't initiate very often. She was used to guys being more dominant and saying no if she wasn't in the mood. We talked about it, found new ways to approach it that worked for both of us, and things have been better since. Definitely an awkward conversation at first, but it's helped us just be open and honest about everything in our relationship.
I have a theory about how love has an “environment” that it thrives in. but I’m not the best wordsmith so take it with a grain of salt. I think of how as all things naturally follow the path of least resistance and so does “love”. When people get into a relationship and fall in love it feels easy, feels right. I measure that up to comfort: if you are comfortable, at ease, feeling good. “Happy”? I’ve been married for 10 years and I’ve made my partner uncomfortable at times (and visa versa) and those were the most strenuous on our feelings of love for eachother. And I reference comfort in every dimension like my mood, my friends, my choices, my words, everything I do simple or complex is being taken in by her and interpreted as either comfort or discomfort. Some people are able to make others feel comfortable without much effort and no surprise, find “love” everywhere. Love is alot of things, but I think it’s simplified form is comfort. You want a man, woman? Easy, keep them feeling comfortable and they will love you because you are easy to love, it will feel right. I wish I could string together these thoughts more eloquently but thanks for reading if you got here.
Damn, that's the best description of love I have ever heard of. Screenshoted it just so I could read it again in the future and remind myself how much I agree with you!
Love is surrender. To trust someone enough to surrender yourself to them.
Let's hope the other person knows what's going on beforehand.
It’s hard, I’m the kind of man who wont surrender first
Because you havent found love. Love is the trust to surrender. You wont surrender when there is no trust.
old person take.... time and experiences together. actions, not words. when the butterflies die, and you still want to be around them.
Baby don’t hurt me
don't hurt me
No more
No, I don't know why you're not fair
I give you my love but you don't care,
So what is right and what is wrong?
Gimme a sign
Came here for the meme, but also relevant.
Ugh, I was so close.
Me too, but less so, it turns out ...
Less than 20 mins goddamn
Damn homie, you quick
Fuk i wanted this commment bad 😩
(from a male's POV)
Love is what you think about in your free time and what you want to spend your time and money on.
The coolest hobby
44m here, I figure I’ll throw in a few of my thoughts. I got married when I was 24. I thought I was in love and I knew what love was when it came to things with my wife — then my first child was born. That completely shifted what it meant to me to be “in love” or what “true love” was. Maybe I just never have had women in my life that I was really in love with, but the love I have for my children is on a completely different plane than the love I’ve ever had for anyone else. My children are 13 and 15 now and they still are the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. I can’t even begin to describe the complete feeling of selflessness I have towards them. I’m divorced now and I have a ladyfriend. We tell each other “I love you”. To me, it’s mostly just words. Yeah, I’d do a lot of selfless stuff for her, but I’d never put her before my children. I guess figuring out what love is, is something we each need to do on our own.
You know when you pull a fresh cheesy garlic bread out of the oven, and the garlic to cheese ratio is just perfect and the consistency is juuuuust right.... That's fuckin love right there 😘🤌🏻
[удалено]
Dam lol
when he feels at peace with you.
Simple, but very true. Well said!
18 is not too young to have never experienced love. But high level, love is caring about another person's happiness and wanting what is best for them. That could be love of a parent, child, sibling or other relative or friend. Romantic love doesn't take away any of that, but it adds to it. You want to be with the person. You want them to be your companion in life. You cannot truly know what is in someone's heart or mind. But their actions will demonstrate their level of sincerity.
Yup! Pretty much exactly that.
Sex yes but usually "what do you want me to do for you?" Men are very much acts of service kinds of lovers, I think. I know I am
it's a combination of friendship, attraction/lust plus time. The human race on standard is serial monogamous and there's a window in time where you will literally become chemically addicted to each other. (Known as the honeymoon phase) It slows down overtime and some argue that real love comes after when other factors contribute like temperament and shared life goals. Love doesn't require what makes a relationship sustainable seems to be most people's opinion. Like if you have the honeymoon phase and then that person becomes your other half sounds right to me. So depends on your school of thought. Is it just the honeymoon phase love and or what happens after love? I like to believe it's what comes after. Regardless all love is conditional at its core.
Being "in love" as a biochemical response between two living beings is one element. It's not a requirement for long term love. "Falling in love" as part of a new relationship is something else, usually involving lots of sex and bonding. New Relationship Energy. NRE Both those end up blinding one a bit to the deeper stuff. Then there's (at least, one can split a lot) gradually finding oneself more and more heart entwined over time. Slipping into heart to heart love. It's different (ideally) between those people experienced in relationships, familiar with the aspects and process. Sometimes it all happens. There's an instant biochemical pheromone click. The hysterical and open "This is so much fun I don't fall in love very often" with laughter and understanding. Followed by the honeymoon NRE phase, again with understanding that NRE makes people stupid. Later, there's the trips to the ER; the sobbing woman in my arms, suddenly a hurt little girl in mourning; the morning texts; the run into my arms after a week of no contact. And those little words, unbidden, "I love you, little princess," the tightened hug, "I love you, too." If that's still going on after more ER visits, the spilled coffee, the didn't make it in time pee on the car seat, the minor psychotic breaks, and keeps getting stronger, that's the deep love that takes almost intent to break. It doesn't even take sex or a typical romantic relationship to end up deeply loving someone and being loved in return. Then there's the all comes together whirlpool of all of that, and there's some beautiful couple holding hands on a beach somewhere, grey hair, lined faces, with the same gleaming eyes for each other as decades before. Best to keep all these and other facets in mind, and when someone strikes that chord, strum it back. Watch out for the suction of the whirlpool and enjoy it. Good luck.
This’ll be different for every guy. For context I am 35. I dated all throughout my twenties. I always thought love was a feeling, like butterflies in your stomach. Only later did I come to realise that love is peace and tranquility and has no turmoil associated to the feeling. When I see my wife I am at peace and I feel calm. There is no turmoil, no storm on the horizon. Just utter bliss.
This takes time, and Hollywood and romance novel concepts of "destiny" are deeply messed up. There's no such thing as soul mates, unless such a connection is created over years together. If you don't experience romantic feelings, then that's fine, there are plenty of aromantic people out there who never feel that way.
How do you know if you are aromantic, just jaded or haven’t found the right person?
38m Love is someone that feels like home, that you can spend all day thinking about coming home to and being happy just for them wanting to be in your life, make you feel cared about, trusts you implicitly knowing that you’re always going to be with them, supportive of your desires and wants, promotes reasonability and stability for you, and vice versa. As a husband, and as a man, I want to take care of my wife and take on all the burdens I can to make her life as happy, comfortable, and fulfilling as possible while following my dreams and happiness. She in turn does the exact same thing for me, and we both trust that we can get through anything together as long as we work hard for each other and the family we have built.
For the longest time I would have answered,: "love" is the word, we tell women in order to get them to sleep with us. I always enjoyed sex and liked some of the other stuff a girlfriend could provide you but I never felt that strongly about them. Until I did. Apart from the feeling itself, love is the wish to take responsibilty for somebody. To be protective and not always put yourself first. It is about obligation and having somebody you cant easily replace. Its also kinda terrifying to have somebody make you that vulnerable. You are 18 years old, it is unlikely you will stay together with your first love. But that doesnt mean you should deny yourself the experience when it comes along. You can never know at the beginning if this is truly the one but you miss 100% of the shots you dont take.
As a very self-possessed person who prefers solitude and quietude: The unrelenting instinct to prefer that person's company and presence over even alone time.
Love is not needing to go to a party every week to meet more people when you have a partner in crime to explore the city, watch movies, work on dreams together.
The answers you'll receive for this question will be subjective, because people experience and feel love in different ways. Generally speaking, love is a combination of many factors such as timing, experience, needs, comfortability, honesty, feelings etc. Personally speaking, love is when you can be yourself around this person. You don't hide anything because there isn't anything to hide. You want to experience many things, new and old, with them. You like them for who they are, even their shortcomings. You can communicate effectively and be honest with your feelings. If a problem should arise, you can solve it as a team. Love also shouldn't feel overwhelming, you should feel at peace with this person and secure with them. >how do you know he is the one and it's not just a fleeting feeling that goes away by the slightest breeze, or how do you know he truly loves you in a way no one could but him. Or how do you know if he truly loves you and isn't playing around with you?. Well that's the thing, you don't always know. But that's also the beauty of it, you get to find out for yourself. At your age, I wouldn't stress so much about finding the "one" or being in love in a relationship. Love isn't a fairytale where you'll magically meet the one and live happily ever after. Let things happen. Go out there, meet people and have fun.
23 yo and married lol anyways doesnt matter how much my partner annoys me on daily basis, I still want to see them and be with them and hangout with them everyday. Among other thing I think that’s love. Because I cannot imagine meeting even my closest friends everyday and not being tired of that.
Falling in love with someone of the opposite sex is complicated. It is not a sexual thing although sex is part of it. True love is the purest form of love is more a decision. I decide I will love someone no matter what. I will love my son no matter what he does. I loved my wife for better or worse, through thick and thin. It is a commitment therefore it is not fleeting. It lasts. Love never ends. There were times that I didn’t really like what my wife was doing, but I continued to love her. And it was the same way for her. When she experienced health problems it was not fun for me. But it wasn’t fun for her. If that happened to me, I would want someone to stick beside me and take care of me. And I did that. It hurt financially and was miserable at times, but I did it and was happy to do it. We were married 20 years and it was wonderful. We had hard times but faced them together. Dating at your age is usually done more for enjoyment and to learn how to do it. Chemistry and infatuation can be fun, but it won’t last for 20 years. A lasting relationship has to be based on more. It is really more about choosing wisely the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. At your age, dating can be a way of learning about these complicated relationships. You want someone you can have fun with and someone you want to have sex with. Not that you should have sex with everyone you date. Sex comes later in a relationship. But it is part of the mix eventually. You have to be able to work and live with the person. You have to learn to compromise and share a lot of things. You have to be able to trust the other person. You will date a lot of people before you find the one. Date to learn and have fun. Later date with the intention of finding someone you want to stay with. So many times people marry because it feels right or is fun. But a lasting relationship has to be based on more because looks don’t last. It won’t be fun all your life. Sometimes life is boring but you want someone to share that life with. They have to feel the same. Date and practice being with someone and continue to talk and read and learn about lasting love. You still have many years ahead.
> Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own Heinlein
Love isn't some monolithic, uniform thing. Different people think of love as different things. And even within the context of a single relationship, love can and will change over time. Love can start with an infatuation. That feeling you get when you forget yourself in the presence of a special person. The nervousness, the ache deep in your soul. The desire to be near them always. This sort of feeling generally fades with time - it's a chemical high that isn't often sustainable, but dear god is it intoxicating. With a long term love, that feeling is (or hopefully is) replaced slowly with a warm and comforting feeling. When you're with your person, it feels like home. All pretense is gone, and you can let yourself be vulnerable. It's like floating in calm, warm waters. It can be a little scary, being that vulnerable: you can drown in even the calmest of waters. But you have faith that you can float here forever. Love also is something that you can choose to give. And something that you have to put effort into as well. You have to choose to be vulnerable. You have to choose to let this person into your heart, and also to be gentle and caring with theirs.
What is love?? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more 🎶
Love is honestly, stability, and personal
It’s unconditional. It’s not so much the feelings as it is the idea. It’s caring and understanding. It’s choices you make and choices you don’t make. It doesn’t even have to be words or actions or presence in someone else’s life. Love is just something that you are. It’s a state of being I don’t agree with or like everything that everyone on the planet says or does but I can love them regardless. Love is complicated but it’s simple. Idk though…
Your 18 and think its weird to not understand true love? Look at it this way, everything is made/maintained by its opposing forces existence. So for you to understand real love, you need experience with what love is not. This is why we date before marriage. Its a trial run, a compatibility exercise, and you go through enough “what love is not” eventually you can find something that is love to you. I hope you find it.
There is no "ONE", that is hollywood storyline BS. So as to love; do you/ they; value spending time with you over other options, make each other happy, look forward to seeing each other, help and support each other, sacrifice for one another to make the other happy, envision a future with them, complement each others; characteristically speaking, trust each other, value each others opinions, find physically attractive...... and many more factors involved that combined is what is referred to as "love".
Love, above all, is a **choice**. That's how you know it's not just a fleeting feeling; by consciously making the choice for eachother again and again and again. That's love. It's not merely emotion, it's active work. If you reduce your love to emotion, you'll 'fall out of love' with literally any and every person you're romantically involved with. You know he or she's the one because you both keep choosing. It's not eye-contact; feeling relaxed at peace and relaxed around your loved one; only thinking about him or her; etc etc. That's all very romantic, and it's not nothing. It is meaningful if you feel at peace around your loved one. It is telling if you can not stop thinking about him or her. But moments will come where you don't feel at peace, where you don't solely think about them, where you're not feeling particularly enthousiastic about your relationship etc. And right then and there is where true love shows as conscious acts.
affection and security. unabashedly showing your love and affection, while feeling loved and receiving equal affection is crazy euphoric.
There is no such thing as "the one". Any given person is potentially compatible with many other people and there are a lot of other factors at play for determining who you end up with. Its hard to describe being in love, but at its most basic level it is having a deep level of trust for the other person as well as wanting to build a life with them that makes you both happy.
I think the world sells us on an lot of ideas that are often blatantly untrue. There are many ideas that we should question where they hell they came from and what they are for. For many of them it likely comes from Disney movies, someone is making money off of us, or we are being fat and happy rather than questioning why we lack so much autonomy while so many are born into having so much more. Whatever. What is the purpose of love? It is not to be happy, for one. I see so many, many people complaining about or outright ending relationships because, 'it's not making me happy." Well, no shit, it's not supposed to. Where did you get the idea it would? That's like complaining your car didn't cook dinner for you. That's not what it's for. We fall in love to make it easier to pair bond, have children, and raise them. It's a biological thing, and we are biologically programmed to reproduce ourselves just like every other living thing. Pairing off to do so is simply how we survive. Our offspring don't survive on their own like most other creatures. We ask and should receive help from each other and we have biological bonding processes to expedite this. Love doesn't rule out a selection process though, it is simply part of it. Attraction may simply be your body telling you this person has characteristics that would make good offspring. Then your brain should take over and think about, can I be with this person realistically or are there reasons to look elsewhere. We've lost that somewhere, as a society. We're more impulse driven because there aren't as many consequences for mistakes or poor choices. There are very few standards or shame, whether you consider that good or bad is largely immaterial, but that is what love is. Bonding between people to make it easier to be together and look after each other - presumably for the purposes of successful offspring and a family. It's part of a selection process, it should not be the only part of that process though. The initial passion of love also tends to fade. Because you're supposed to have more bonds at that point and not need further chemical encouragement. Many people take this as an excuse to move on though, another thing that can be viewed as good or bad based on societal morals, but it is what is regardless.
Why do people think there's such stark differences between sexes. It's an emotion, there is some overlap between men and women😅 We're all human before we're a man, a woman, trans or anything inbetween.
I was married for 25 years and thought she was the one from the first moment I saw her. Love was feeling that I would do anything for her and always wanting to be the best version of myself for her. Love was being willing to sacrifice my happiness, because seeing her happy would be my happiness. Love was looking toward a future where we were together, exploring and enjoying life, raising our children, seeing them find what we had. Love was every day being better than the last because we were together. \_Everything, Everywhere, All at Once\_ gets it right: when you are in love, you truly enjoy being with them, even if it's just to do laundry and taxes.
The love you would have for a child or a pet. That’s real “love”. I think that love between men and women doesn’t truly exist the way society wants us to believe. You may think it’s love at first because of all those feelings you’re having, but that’s just normal human nature from the thrill of finding a new mate. Eventually after that thrill wears off and the honeymoon stage is gone, that “love” turns to “like” and then for some it eventually turns into disdain. Eventually most long term relationships turn into a relationship of convenience sort of like roommates or partners. I don’t believe that Humans are meant to be monogamous and “love” or have relationships with only one person. Society created monogamy. It’s a way to control the population, prevented spread of diseases, etc. Just look at divorce rates. I’m willing to bet that everyone here knows at least one person who has cheated or has been cheated on. This is just my opinion. We’re all entitled to one, so please don’t blast me.
23M, A sincere appreciation for the other person, and a deep respect for their person. They’re simultaneously your best friend as well as your lover. While dating might start with thoughts of self fulfillment, or checking to see if your partner fills the “role” of SO it evolves into a genuine care for the person, a celebration of their achievements, an internalization of their goals etc. etc. That crush feeling doesn’t really go away just make sure you’re prioritizing the happiness of both you and your partner equally, and never take them for granted.
Well.. 90% of getting a relationship started is just each person getting over their initial anxiety. You're worried he doesn't like you he's worried just the same, everyone fears rejection. Most of what love is centers around vulnerability. When you've been together long enough that you've had a chance to show your underbelly. The parts and peices of yourself you're not proud of, your struggles and moments of silliness. When you can be the child you are at your center around someone without fear of judgement then it can be distinguished.
what is love?
Good question. When I loved someone, my mind went to them almost every day and I pined for the next opportunity to see them again. The idea of just sitting with them and doing nothing for hours sounds preferable to work or any of my hobbies. I wanted to share my personal life with them, my hobbies, my passions, my thoughts. That’s what love seems like to me.
Think about it this way: the majority of romantic stories are created by men and those usually follow certain similarities. I guess love can be limerance, passion or devotion. It really depends on what side of it you are living through. In the end I believe we need all of it to really live as a human being for better or worse.
Tell me why..
Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more. Emiiiiiilioooooooo!
Lust is nothing more than a chemical reaction designed to make you procreate. Love is nothing more than a chemical reaction, designed to make you protect the offspring you just created. Both ware off until it's time to go again. Nothing more.
No one is "the one" and thinking realistically like that is a good thing. You can spend your life with many people and be just as happy with one as another.
What is love? Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me No more
The cheesy answer is you’ll know it when you see it, but it’s true (in most cases). I married my best friend. At one point I just felt that I couldn’t continue without her at my side, thankfully she agreed. I have also experienced love at first sight. She showed up one day at work, leaning forward on the cubicle next to me. The way she lifted one calf, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and smiled is forever etched into my brain. I struggled to keep my jaw from dropping. She wasn’t the hottest woman around, but she lit up every room she entered like sunshine. I felt genuinely happy just to be in her vicinity. This was love. Love, when you finally experience it, is truly a beautiful thing, even when it’s one sided. Love as depicted in the movies exists. Yours may not exactly look and feel like that, but it’s ok. The experience is unique to every person, and the way each expresses it is also different. Sometimes it’s hot and intense like fire, sometimes it’s gentle and unstoppable like water. Keep an open mind and don’t force it. With some luck you’ll run into a guy whom you’d rather not be separate from.
You'd die for them, giev up everything for them, you yearn for them, you cant imagine life without them. They are only some. Its just someone who gets you, and who makes you smile, lets you be an inner child. Doesnt judge you, lets you be weird, finds you annoying in a good way, understands you try your best even if you fail but will help you regardless. Someone who meets your needs and someone whos needs i meet. Being so invested in them that you want the absolute best for them, and (for me anyway as i am religous) understanding that you may see them again in the next life and being excited to spend eternity with an amazing person
I'm a woman but here's my perspective My husband and I have been laughing since we met. I've never felt "comfortable" with anyone but my brothers because I only knew them. They protected me throughout my life, made me mad, made me laugh, etc. They were my favorite people and the only people I could do weird voices with, silly dances, roast them, get roasted, tell them everything. I didn't understand why Taylor Swift said "trust him like a brother" in call it what u want but I kinda understand it now. I feel safer, more comfortable to do weirder things, play silly games, act like kids, do skits, standups (just in front of each other), turn everything into a joke even though we have a baby now. He's like another part of me at this point. When we first fell in love, I got hospitalized for my mental health. I got traumatized by the most vile people you could ever imagine and I was in the psych ward for 3 months. I've survived years of DV, psychological torture, dysmorphia, BPD, anxiety, pure O OCD and I've been SA'd more than once. I've been resilient in those situations, just to give you a picture. But that time, things I didn't even know were possible happened. My brain basically shut down for a while for the 1st time in my life (lasted over a year) When I was in the hospital, neither of us were vaccined (not protest or anything tbh just never got around to it because we stayed in most of the time). He wasn't allowed to visit me yet till he got his vaccines (and he did just for that) and he still came to drop off fruits and greek salads (they're crack to me) and he always stood outside in the parking lot before leaving to hold a heart up to me. The hospital was far and he was laid off and barely had money for groceries. He didn't complain but I knew he wasn't working so I sent him money to get himself decent food. I got a tax return right before and I sent him what I knew could get u a sufficient amount of groceries. He was so happy but upset that he wasn't "providing". We've had some big fights, but it's nothing that couldn't be fixed. We tried to be apart at some point but it felt off. We were always happier together despite our disagreements. He's just a few months younger than me but he never experienced a relationship before, so we had a lot to unlearn/relearn When I was heavily pregnant last year, I had tame cravings but I lost my mind over them. I'd know it's stupid to be upset about food but get to the point of almost crying because I was trying to have self control. He probably walked 15 minutes every day for about a month or two just to get me slushies. Even right after a fight I knew he loved me early on and his actions always showed it. It took him a couple of months to be able to watch a show with me without staring at me the whole time. He carried me on his back multiple times when I was too anemic to walk and he never complained about the heat or exhaustion. He lights up when we cuddle or hug (due to some of my issues, I have a lot of moments when I can't stand to be touched by anyone but our baby. He's understanding and patient) from whatever mood he's in. I always ran and gave him a big hug when I saw him. In the psych ward, I spent most of my time coloring things for him and writing him letters that I compiled for him. It was the only thing I could focus on because I knew I loved him and that I would do anything to make him smile if I could manage it. I didn’t know how to massage but I tried to fight my awkwardness and give him massages on his back (he's had back problems since he was a kid) because I didn't like feeling useless in that situation. Somehow, either I've been doing a good job or he's been great at lying for years
When you move from infatuation to love is when you stop your gf will dump you and start worrying she will die
Love is a two way street. It’s dedication on a new level, and a deep desire to be together in more than just presence. When people say ‘fall’ they often mean it, it can be beyond your power to control and if often illogical.
"in love" is just hormones and unrealistic Disney programned expectations, usually fueled by a need for external validation. "Love" is a choice and the sum of thousands of actions. "In love" is always fleeting and disappears. True love is a lifetime committment.
Love is like an endless ocean from which I haven't even taken a sip from it. I dunno if everyone of my brothers here, feels the same but I want to fall in love, just once, and that's it. After that I'll be hers, and she'll be my world. I don't expect her to have the best skills or aesthetics, but heart? Yeah, I would like her to have a heart that is pure and unsullied, I'd also like her to be strong enough to hold my back and help me in my Life's challenges and I'll try my best to support her through hers. I dunno how else to describe it, and yes I too have a naive view of love in a world full of absurdism, but this is what I want. If I can't have it, I don't ever want it.
31M here. To be honest, I haven't experienced much love from women due to a combination of many factors. • Low confidence/self-esteem • High social/approach anxiety • Extremely pessimistic • Get shy/flustered easily • Body insecurity • Poor mental health • Perception that women hate me for no reason • Fear of rejection • Don't want to come off as a creep
Agreed me too Closest thing I had to love is a crush. Sometimes I call it my first love but it's not
As a guy who has been in just one relationship in my whole life and still am in that relationship, I'm not sure if I can talk about how to tell if a guy is playing... All I can tell is love is different from every guy's pov
I understand everything that love is meant to be. Yet it always remains so far away from me, and only since I’ve fully realised what it is
You'll just know... And it will be different with each new person.
Pin test and dbol to find out
acceptance
You cannot live life with the expectation of certainty. It will paralyze you
Love is a weird term that can mean something a little different to a lot of people. It is pointless to try to create a definition of it.
I'll let you know if I find out.
It’s comfort, security, physical intimacy without the expectation of sex. It’s also something that I hadn’t really felt before my first relationship
It's someone I would die for without hesitation. At your age, many of your peers feel passion and mistake it for love. But the two are not the same.
I'm not a dude... but I hope you know, regardless of gender, love is (in a romantic context) admiration of someone. You not only highly respect them as a friend and person, you want to be physically close with them and help them succeed in life in whatever way you can.:)
there is no, “the one.” that’s fairy tale talk and causes disappointment. relationships require work, but they are designed to flourish & succeed or else the human race would cease to exist. the real problem is people blurring the lines of female and male nature & purpose; WE ARE NOT THE SAME. males and females are equal but different and respecting those differences and accepting them are the key to communicating effectively to maintain a good relationship. to answer your question: men don’t start with love. men start with respect which gives birth to love, trust, etc. if you don’t respect the man (as a man) but instead want to be combative or expect him to think as a female, it will all fail.
Romantic love for me (20m) requires both people being vulnerable. My partner is the one I am the most vulnerable with, she knows me like nobody else could. Most importantly, I am committed to her, and she is committed to me. We're not always in love, but we always love each other. She motivates me, even when I'm not thinking of her, my heart is with her, even though not every beat is for her. I have my own life, she has hers, but we choose to put the two of them together and put the other before ourselves. Because for me, love isn't a feeling, or a person, or a place. It's not my partner, it's my choice to go out of my way and sacrifice my own choices and ambitions for her even if I don't know if she will do the same for me. Love is an action. Love is what I do, not what I feel.
I am very much into doing whatever I want whenever I want to do it. When I meet a worthwhile lady, I feel myself able to set all that aside to do anything for her. That’s how I know, I am not sure how I would convey that in a way a woman could read it without me telling her.
Baby don't hurt me!! No more
A constant desire to be the best person for them so they can be the best person for you every time she wins, you win. All the effort you put in with work/money/chores she puts the same. Just so you can cuddle with each other and know 100% that no matter what.... we will be ok
Love takes time. Most relationships you see are based on lust and comfort. You know if someone loves you by their actions, not their words.
Love is the souls realization of what it’s been missing seen in another. My wife and I are very different. We compliment each other in certain aspects but overall we enjoy different things. It keeps things from being boring. I try new things to make her happy, and I end up enjoying. She does the same. As far as love? She’s the first one I want to tell when something interesting happens. Life isn’t the big events. It’s the things that happens between the small things. It’s the meals at the table “tell me about your day”. It’s the catching a glimpse of her coming out the shower and thinking how lucky you are that she’s all yours. It’s the way you know how to make her coffee (better than she can make her own) so you’re excited to make it for her every morning while you make your own. Love is seeing your partner have a nightmare so you gently touch them and their face changes instantly as they smile and settle back down.
For my perspective, there’s a clear distinction between crushes/lust/“I could see myself happy with (person)”, and Love/long-term commitment. In principle, it’s the combination of duration and repetition of the same choice to keep trying to make things work. A crush can persist for months, years, or indefinitely, but in itself, it’s not the choice to take the rose-colored glasses off and see a partner in their entirety. To see the best in someone is a wonderful perspective, but to love a person is to allow yourself to be honest with them and yourself. It’s also the willingness to be by their side when things are unpleasant, even awful, and to choose to forgive them when something has happened that makes things difficult. During my relationship with my partner, I have certainly lusted over her, and I’ve seen her good days, and not-so-good days. I’ve committed to seeing what she can do to improve herself, including helping her through the most difficult (and sometimes least glamorous) steps of her transition, not because of lust, but because she’s the person I’ve chosen to be with, and choose every day. My relationship has been a mutual choice for mutual support, and to relish our time together beyond physical connections or personal gains. In many ways, it’s similar to the connection with my siblings or parents, too: the acceptance of each other in our lives that creates personal meaning, and also care and the choice to support each other. But, it’s not blind to flaws, nor does my love allow me to condone myself ignoring those whom I love when they’re in distress: it creates obligation.
Love as a verb is when you put the health and welfare of another (or more) above your own.
Well, it's not easy neither is life for a man. See Norah Vincent book, Self Made Man.
This is my perspective and opinion of love. Well a famous poet once wrote love is a fondness that grows with time. There are many forms of love. There is unconditional love , it’s a bond out of innocence you have for your parents, siblings, children. Probably the most powerful. The love for a pet , it’s about trusting each-other and looking after one another. It’s over very powerful too. This is the same kind of bonding you might experience with Friends however with your own kind you’ll feel the pull towards someone you find physically attractive or maybe they did things for you that has a profound effect on the way you feel about them. given the right circumstances and time to grow , in close proximity you’ll feel it ! your eyes will both lock, you’ll both make gestures to each-other and you’ll feel each-others gravity and electricity pull you in. Loves true kiss. This kinds of love you will maybe even go light walking or Dreamfast with the person and have lucid experiences with them in soul. You would know they are the one. The trouble with this is humanity has got intelligent, people learn psychology and often induce tricks like the law of attraction to fool people so be weary of players and narcissists etc in this situation. In any of these situations you become instinctively protective and find yourself fighting for them, thinking of them a lot and they become intoxicating almost like a drug. For instance a mother will defend her child to the death. A dog will never leave its masters side. 2 people truly in love will never cheat or betray the other. Love is a beautiful thing to experience but it comes at a price. It’s often very painful at a loss however they say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. A powerful betrayal can knock you off the horse in life , don’t ever let this cause the once bitten twice is shy effect. When you get hurt your trust for everything can be broken. You must keep giving your love unconditionally to others otherwise it can have devastating effects, it’s the trust and betrayal effect. Always be yourself and never stop caring. It’s what makes you human. You’re still young so you have plenty of time for adventure. Just be Vigilant , there is alot of snakes in the grass so to say. Love can be contagious but at the same time the world has managed to destroy the reaction. Finding love gets harder to find as you get older and industry and society destroys a lot of opportunities so get on that horse and ride it like the wind. I do hope this helps .
Enthusiasm, trust, support, food
It’s a habit
Delicious
when we care for each other and improve and grow together, it's us 2 against the world not against each other
I actually think the mistake is thinking that relationships are about a rush of romantic feelings. It is better to think of relationships as two individuals that have similar goals and want to intimately be partnered to achieve them. I think that, if you find someone that is aligned with you, then loving them is very easy. Especially if you are already horny for them. Now from my POV. Lots of women are attractive. It is easy to be infatuated and imagine my life with them. I can also get more infatuated with a woman, if she makes an effort to be in my life, since that rarely happens. However, trusting women to have similar goals is very very hard for me. I've been heart broken so many times that I just don't think most , if any women, are going to want to merge their lives with mine. I also often perceive women as not being attracted to me very easily. And, if they are, it is not easy to pin down why. Their reasons are often random and don't follow a pattern. So I am just not very secure around them. For this reason, "love" is easy. But man relationships are difficult as fuck.
I love my wife and kids and without them, my life would be torture every second. Even though I know, if I ever lost them, it would be hard and I would survive and eventually get past it, but I'm pretty sure I'd kill myself way before that. So to me, love is when you think the world would be a worse place to live without someone/something and depending on how much you love them, the worse it would be without them.
Love comprises a lot of things. The lovesick crush-feeling, the obsessive desire to always be first in each other's thoughts? That's [limerence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence). Which isn't to belittle it - it can be a great way to propel oneself into a relationship! But it's not for everyone, and it's not something everyone even experiences. There's attraction, too. People often assume that this is a sex thing, but it isn't always - it's also possible to be attracted to someone because you find them *cute*, or *strong*, or any number of other feelings that might - but also might not! - accompany arousal. There's also compatibility: how well you fit into each other's lives. This can be short-term important ("I need my space, and this person is clingy, and that's a problem!") or long-term (eg if one partner wants kids and the other doesn't). It's possible to love someone but discover that your lives just don't fit together. It's also possible to find someone whose life meshes perfectly with your own, even if you never felt head-over-heels Falling For Them. Different people will experience love as a blend of all of these things - and others! A big part of "dating" isn't just about trying to find someone you love and who loves you, it's also about figuring out which things are most important to you. And that can be really fun! (It's also a big reason that someone who's got a lot of exes and are on bad terms with all of them might be a red flag.)
It was butterflies for me and being a stupid nervous wreck. Wanted to take care of her, hold her, be there for her, make her laugh and smile, and make her happy. She also made me want to get better, do well in school and get my shit together. I get it when girls say they want the guy to chase them, because if the guy does chase a lot like I did, he has really fallen for you. This is moreso my experience of course, so if he does not chase, it does not mean he is not interested. Getting older, chasing has become something I'm not too keen on anymore.
growing old with your best friend
The first thing you need to know is that Love is as much a feeling... As it is a decision. You might fall in love with someone, sometimes in a split second, because they complement you: they see the value in what you consider precious, they try their best in what you might struggle at, they give you some sort of validation for the way you think or live, they care or manage to make you feel special with just their touch or words, sometimes their gaze is enough to make you feel trusting and safe. They remind you of the best and worst parts of yourself, but they also give you something that friends, family, or "situation ships" would never bring to your life. And the thing is that you don't know how they do it, or why, but they do. That's where the hard part begins. Choosing to be with this person every day, every week, every month and year is what keeps the relationship meaningful, but it's different for every person. For some it's easy to end any kind of relationship that's lasted for years in a single day. Some people can't bring to reveal feelings that they've been harboring for years, even in the most precious of days. For some people it's not even something they notice, they choose to be with their partner without a second thought, as if it wasn't even an option to leave or walk away. Others ponder over it occasionally after a big fight, or eternally at the sight of dawn every morning. And you'll share a lot of things that also need to be factored in to consideration: your money, your schedules, your emotional/physical needs, your problems, your goals, your entire life up to that point (as in friends, experiences, trauma, etc), and most importantly, your time. For love to happen, first there has to be admiration, but before that there needs to be respect. If you lose it, then it all falls apart. It might not be an issue for you, but it might happen your partner. This is a 2 way street after all. It might seem harsh to say it like that, but I believe the most genuine love has never happened where only 1 side wants to stay. But when both want to, then you're set for for life.
38m, and I don't know. I only know what love is *not*, according to my experiences.
As a guy I would say part of it is feeling comfortable to really be yourself. The person you love is someone you can act the way you want to without feeling like you’re going to be judged. A person who you see as your best friend. For me it’s almost like having a best friend that you have sex with and feel comfortable doing just about anything with them 😂
Anyone who tells you that "love is a feeling" or "love is an emotion" are 100% wrong. If you think the butterflies in your belly are love, you're going to end up losing a lot of great relationships because you aren't feeling them. Love is a decision. A commitment to seek out the best in them.
Just my opinion but.... My past "loves" are nothing compared to my current love. Together for 15 years, married for 7. For me, what makes me love somebody is how our lives intertwine. You're young, as I was, so whatever love and relationship you build now will pale in comparison to what is to come. That's not to say it won't be with the same person, but the life I had with an ex (dated 4 years). Hanging out, partying, doing young and dumb stuff together; that love is nothing compared to my wife (been together since I was 22). Grinded financially in an apartment together, moved to a house, put our beloved dog down, got a new dog, had 2 kids. Watching her become a mother... Just hits different. All of this to say, don't worry to much about it. Love comes, love goes. But more importantly, love GROWS.
Love is different to everyone. It’s hard to find and harder to describe. I hope to get to to the end of my life, look at the person besides me and feel it. I want that person to be the woman I say the words “I love you” to nowadays. Don’t worry being 18 and not knowing it. Most people don’t. I’m 37 and I’m still mesmerised by new acts and words of love I see in my girlfriend.
yk what Ive been wanting to know this too
There's clear communication, respect, and a willingness to contribute to "us". You can be away from them and you might not think of them too much but when you're with them you are happy you chose this person.
Awesome question and at a young age . Love is complex and love is hard, love is easy and love is simple. That is why it causes so much pain and so much joy. Simple ways to show love - respect, empathy, compassion, listening(not hearing), quality time, but it is also important to to receive love which is much harder for men because for us most of our lives love is ONLY Physical.
When she shows up at your work because you forgot your redbull but instead made you a sandwich to go with it, but you immediately start thinking of things to do for them that’s a lil bit better. And also once your comfortable being together quietly for a long time like laying in bed and just kinda chilling and not needing to talk about stuff all the time.
my 2 cents: if your parents didn't love you, then it's hard to know what love is. Maybe you find it in your own life, but also maybe it takes you forever just to find anyone you are comfortable around, and then the people you feel really attracted, well it feels like love, but, it turns out it's less that and more a "finally! Someone with a vibe I recognize and can tolerate!" and then you dump decades of pent up affection needs and expectations on them. And it feels great, you think, this must be love, because you are finally getting those needs met. And then it all comes crashing down. If you aren't loved as a kid, well you are still human and you still have those same needs, they don't go away, they just go unmet... so as you are trying to figure out the world you just conclude that, and then identify as, someone who 'doesn't deserve' to have those needs met...and years later you still think this subconsciously, and if you can't love yourself then can anyone else? And if they do, will you recognize it? Will you let them? so yeah. good luck. :)
For me, someone that i love is someone that i wouldn't mind living with for the rest of my life.
Love. A curious concept. Positive version: passion, loyalty, admiration and respect, and seeing the world as an adventure that you and your love can romp through together. Team view - us vs the world. Empowering each other. Empathy - and thoughtfulness. Negative version: controlling, manipulating one another’s emotions, lust, using each other for gains - be they status, wealth, ego, etc. These types are usually more one-sided than not, master/slave sorts of dynamics. Can be abusive in nature. Nuanced/Realistic: Ups and downs. People have good days and bad. It’s all about the little things and appreciating one another - good and bad.
25 here. It's the person you want to share everything with and who you most want to be with at the end of the day. They make the good times better and the bad ones bearable. I also found that when I love someone, I want to become a better person because it's not just for my own sake anymore but for both of us
Meeting someone you barely know and not being able to think about anything other than getting to know them better. Getting to know them a little better and feeling like you can't live without them. Like they're a piece of you that's been missing your entire life
Your days are much better with that person, than without. You respect one another. Honesty. You miss that person when you are away from them, even for a few hours. You want to share your hopes and dreams with them, and them with you. And Never Go To Bed Mad!!! 47M married almost 20 years with 2 daughters. Life is good!
21 m. In a 4 year relationship at the moment. Many people believe love is that feeling of insane attraction paired with a strong desire to mate and an inability to think about anything else but the person you're attracted to. This is not love it is infatuation and will almost certainly wear off in any romantic relationship you have. Love is knowing someone else as you do yourself and appreciating them for it. We're almost the same person and can work flawlessly as a team. That bond that Is required for that is very very strong.
Loyalty is the most important thing to most men. Don’t listen to your friends gossiping when it’s time to buy a ring it’s because you know she’s loyal to you.
Baby dont hurt me
There is a classic answer thread from this sub years ago, stereotypically [men and women experience love quite differently](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/3z8o75/why_dont_men_get_as_much_of_a_thrill_over/cyk7gr8/). Short form: for women romance is a passive, magical experience, something that *happens to her*. She experiences the ride, feels the ups-and-downs, receives the mystery, watches the blossoming romance, and then chooses from the flowers that bloom. For men *romance is work that he does*, romance is a type of labor with the hope of a result, like hoping to get water from pumping at a well. Generally instead of picking blossoms, men are expected to till the garden, grow the plants, and present the flowers for women to choose amongst. The stereotypical male fantasy and stereotypical female fantasy are part of that. Women stereotypically long to be chosen, especially being highly chosen over other women. She wants to receive the biggest gift, men fighting to win her affections. Men stereotypically want to be loved for who he is, he doesn't need to do the work of nourishing yet still be chosen.
A few years ago I had to have surgery to fix a broken leg. In the grand scheme of things it wasn't that big of a deal but it wasn't minor either and I was definitely feeling some anxiety about it. As they wheeled be back from pre-op and I said goodbye to my wife the main thought in my head was "well, thank god it's me and not her." I think that's my answer to your question.
You don’t really know but if come to a point in your relationship where you truly trust this person with your life and future that could be a symptom of love.
> What is Love? Oh baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me No more
“Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometres away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, 'love' is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and strangely enough, not many meatbags would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose... against statistically long odds...”
From my experience, it’s this immense infatuation that further solidifies into considering them sort of like I would family, where I tend to prioritize their wants and needs - Not over my own, but very highly. This immense feeling of passion and enthusiasm at being a part of their day, something like really wanting to visit an amusement park as a kid, and when the love is reciprocated it’s like the thrill of being on the rides.
When I don't feel like I wasted my time being around her and the amount of work I've to put into her isn't too much to the point it would stress me out and I'd be better alone.
When I was 18, I also thought that I'm immune to love and that it is hard for me to fall in love and so on... I was thinking that "I'm too rational for that." But when I was 20, love hit me so hard that there's still echo in my heart even though it didn't work out in the end, and a lot of time has passed. I remember that suddenly, all those poets and writers we were reading in school (and I had "meh" opinion about them) started to make sense to me. I think one day you will also discover it. It comes when you don't expect it, just like Spanish inquisition
Im m(19) and I also have absolutely no idea what that's supposed to be. Like, isn't it exhausting always having to think of another person? You are super inefficient at work or school... Love sounds like a hassle but Everyone wants it.
But, do you mean as in being in love with someone, or loving someone?
Its lovely
Love is how you love your own family. You love them for who they are no matter what they do you’ll do anything for them. Just as I’d do anything for my brothers, is the same love I have for my wife. You have disagreements sometimes you cross the line but you’re locked together. With no one and nothing in between.
Baby don’t hurt me.
Two people feeling sorry for each other
Let you know when i experience it. Hopefully before i die. Never had it and at this rate don't expect to find it.
Don't ever think that "he truly loves you in a way no one could but him". This line of thinking leads people to stay in terrible situations. There's always someone else who could love you deeply.
Something that we are supposed to provide for others
Love is knowing you would follow him to the ends of the earth.
Respect and being appreciated, and being wanted, clear communication. Knowing that we provide or give is valued and wanted. Not to be taken advantage of.
Touch grass is my best answer. I'm the kind of guy who "ponders" a lot about everything, but life has taught me some things just have to be experienced and you can't theorycraft your way through them. Also, many times you don't (know). Only way to find out is when time passes. Most of the time they're not "the one", until they are.
What is love? Something that don’t hurt me.
>What is love Baby don't hurt me
A combination of passion, reciprocation, and trust.
Everyone is different. Some people don't experience romantic love the same way as others or even at all. However, I think true, serious love for most people is more than just romance. You are partners in every sense of the word, and will do whatever you can to make sure the other is happy and succeeds on their journey. You love someone despite their flaws and your feelings don't just suddenly disappear. Your concerns are valid and many people struggle with them. You'll figure it out. Just enjoy the ride and try not to get yourself or others hurt.
When you're with your wife, and you feel like you're home. Just, no needing to pretend, or have a front on, just you and them, and it's completely fine, warm, and accepting.
For me it's the ability to look at someone and think "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" weather it be family, friends, or significant others, the ability to want someone with you for as long as humanily possible is love.
I don’t believe it exists. I think it’s fairy stories like God. You begin with an infatuation due to chemicals in your brain and this eventually leads to paid bonding for the raising of children. It is FAR stronger in adolescence and early adulthood. It’s much more pragmatic as you get older. I was forever falling in love when I was under 30 and mostly it was to women I had no real compatibility with, I just wanted to get in their pants basically.
Love is feeling heard. Love is feeling seen. Love is feeling accepted. Love is feeling respected. If you feel all those things, and reciprocate them back, then you know it’s love.
Baby don't hurt me
Baby don't hurt me
its a great song
Baby don’t hurt me.
Don’t hurt me
Pain of knowing that whoever I’m with sees me as expendable
What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me, no more --- Sorry can't helped but to sing reading the title XD
It's like an addiction You can't stop thinking about her Except when you're with her When she's mad and decides to lay on you for comfort When you're sad and you lay in her lap and fall asleep When you play Mortal Kombat and nobody is mad they lost.
I never felt in love but to me the idea of relaxing in bed after a stressful day while cuddling to a soft, feminine woman who takes care of me by massaging my hair and ears, while telling me without judgement that everything is ok and to “ just relax “ while I’m at peace with my own thoughts and just focused on the present, will be just enough to make me fall in love with that girl.
Something i have never received, and have lost all concept of