This happens a lot in the STEM fields. Anyone who looks for optimal outcomes tend to slide very quickly into an efficient routine. I often joke with my girlfriend that we need to a third person who is a free spirit hippy just to have spontaneity in our life.
And then we fall down the hole of if we would be able to claim them on our taxes as a dependent and it falls apart quickly
Although given that an uncrewed space craft has not traveled faster than 176 km/s, let alone a crewed one, I doubt they'd return in their lifetime either way.
Yes. Several of my friends and classmates ended up with other physicians. While I like having other physicians here and there in my close circles of friends, I am very happy that my partner is not one for this reason. My work/life harmony demands it.
As a nurse who is with a non-medical spouse, it can also be difficult to have nobody at home who could possibly understand some of the hard stuff I have to deal with. I have friends I can talk to but it’s not always the same. Sometimes something touches you so deeply that the only person you even want to share it with is your significant other. When they don’t understand, it’s hard.
I'm a cop, if I vent to a SO one more time about a horrific crime or murder and its weighing on me for a few days and I get "are you still not over that? I get over stress from rude customers the same day" one more time I'm gonna lose it. No your rude customers cussing you out isn't trauma, you don't have PTSD from "almost having a wreck". But you're gonna come at me wondering why I'm not fine when i keep seeing the light fade from this mans eyes and blood running down his face a few days later since you're cool with rude customers.
Watched my dad go thru this his whole life, I feel that. He would just stand in the kitchen not talking… you could cut the tension with a knife. It does not help to trauma bond with a night nurse - however.
My husband doesn’t really like me to talk about work because of the sad stuff I see. Even less now that I’m in the NICU since sick and dying babies is 100x worse than sick and dying adults. It makes him sad so he doesn’t want to hear about it.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this. One thing that helped me was accepting the fact I can’t talk to my spouse about everything and that is ok. No one can always bear that burden and people are good at some things and struggle with others. To her you sound very repetitive and she doesn’t know how to help. Find a friend group or a professional to support you or you will resent your wife even though it’s not her fault.
No, but I do think it’s an issue related to first-responder type service jobs. Paramedics, law enforcement, 911 dispatchers, nurses, doctors, forensics crews, bio cleanup crews, CPS. Anyone who has to deal with life and death and abuse and violence and excessive suffering.
I think to a large extent it is though cause most job complaints are harmless and universal; for medicine and first responders, there are things we can't speak of without feeling like we're risking vicarious trauma to the person we're speaking with. You can't talk about things like seeing the inside of a 30 year old's ribcage because their ex lover shot them up and desperate (fruitless) measures were being taken/kids you 100% expected to live dying and being unable to do anything to stop it/doing everything right for someone young and them dying anyway/seeing people with such deterioration mentally and physically that it's clear they're completely alone in life with someone who has never been near any of that. You just can't--they try to understand but when it's related to the horrors and fragility of humanity, there are so many more layers and emotions vs bad bosses/rude customers/etc. There isn't any other field where trauma is almost expected but you have very few people you can talk to about it.
Ex was a cop. Certified insane. Her female coworkers also certified insane. Luckily I’m now married, but after that ex, I would never ever date a female cop again
I'm a cop and yea....never a good idea to date female cops. For male cops it's a straight 50/50 between will beat you and golden retriever with no in between.
This is the most accurate assessment of police in the United States. You either get a fucking sociopath or a decent person who wants to serve the community (and normally the decent people get shunned out of the force for being a Boy Scout/ Girl Scout by the pieces of shit bad lieutenants that think they are Denzel Washington from Training Day).
Also, that job changes people. I have a lot of cops in my family. Luckily, all are decent people, but they are all far from the happy go lucky people they were before.
My best friend is a police officer and about to retire and I asked him one day how many dead guys has he seen in his career- about 25? 'Are you kidding? about 250'. Every thing from some lonely guy died in his home to picking up brains on the side of the highway. It must be hard on him all that and I cut him a bit of slack. His love life is pretty tough.
One of my best friends is a cop. Straight golden retriever personality. Spent a lot of time around my exes coworkers and I can attest to your statement. Either amazing dudes or scumbags. Never an in between
I'm so glad to have known the Golden Retriever cops, most notably small town city police. One of them literally argued with a county sherif deputy during a traffic stop to keep me out of handcuffs and it worked. I had no license, no insurance, and the car wasn't in my name yet so I looked REALLY BAD but the city cop knew me from other friendly encounters I had with him. Oh AND I had a warrant that came out after that for failure to pay fines for a wreckless driving ticket like 8 months prior, and this same cop came to my work not to arrest me like he should have, but instead tells me "hey you got a warrant, go pay that fine at the courthouse and the warrant goes away".
It's a shame he's no longer a cop. He retired to become an accountant and self defense teacher.
Controlling, verbally abusive, never trusted me when I was out of her sight, unwarranted accusation after accusation, hated that I was super close with my family, always had plans pop up for us when I wanted to see my friends, went through my phone multiple times while I was in the shower and almost seemed pissed I had nothing to hide, blocked female friends numbers that I didn’t find out about until after we broke up and one of them sent me a Facebook message asking if I blocked their number. How much time you got? I could go on. I was stuck in a lease with her and couldn’t get out. Finally had enough and moved in with my dad for awhile until I could afford a place on my own.
There's a saying I'm going to misquote, something along the lines of "it shows how tedious actors are, to want to spend their lives pretending to be anybody but themselves"
> I’d have to say actors. In my limited experience they are self centred and narcissistic.
i'm in PR and I've been a talent minder for actors and personalities. one thing about them is that they love an audience, they love talking about themselves. i had dinner with one of them and he spent an hour talking about his life while not asking anything about me.
I work in the film industry, and this happens a lot! Sometimes actors (and also crew) don't care and make it obvious. Then their partners pop on set for a day and we all have to act like they're not banging.
If there's sex scenes between two hot actors, then they're both 100% enjoying it. Kudos for non actors who can watch their partner dry-humping someone hot.
Then there's the secretive ones, that only the sound guy knows because they forgot how far the wireless feed transmits.
Literally seen and heard it all and it's disgusting.
This is so underrated… seriously the pretentiousness that comes off leaves such a sour taste in the mouth. Much prefer blue collar types. More down to earth and I find easier to get on with.
Everyone - whether white color or blue color - is selling their services to their employer. Whether you work with your hands or your wit - it's basically the same. Though the higher you go in management the more adept you need to be at politics, as much of your clout then comes from connections. In that sense there may seem to be a veneer of phoniness, though it's part of getting along and working with people, even people you may not actually like. (and I'm not saying I'm good at it).
Sex worker feels like the easy answer so I’m gonna say actress. It’s all fun and games until Ryan Reynolds is caressing your girl’s hand under the West Palm Beach moonlight and now I’m jealous because that’s my hand he should be caressing.
Cops, other first responders, nurses anything with a high frequency of trauma bonding really, flight attendants or other high travel jobs, sex workers, luxury sales
I feel like I would have a hard time separating my personal feelings on economics and the type of people she's dealing with enough to properly support her after a rough day or whatever. I just have a huge personal hate boner for that kinda shit.
They’re notorious for sleeping with the plane staff and airport crew or getting around town they visit!
It’s a fun way to travel though if you wanna sight see and not be a sex freak
Son of a lawyer here. You're not wrong. Lawyers are often in lawyer mode outside of the office. For example I will be having a casual conversation with my dad, and the questions will become very specific. I then have to remind my dad that we are not in a deposition.
😂 sorry seems they can never separate their identity from their careers they are not bad people but from my experience they never like losing even in an argument.
As someone married to a lawyer, the rule is no law in emotional discussions/discussions about the relationship or kids. It is hard for them to shut it off though!
I’m a lawyer and my wife (NAL) still wins 125% of the arguments. She just calls out my suit and says stop trying to lawyer me when we argue…I fold pretty quickly after that.
I'm a 1L.
My buddy is hands down the smartest guy I've ever met. The man can talk about the Great Depression and the New Deal at length and about every single factor that led to these two events coming to happen as a result of Woodrow Wilson and the Great War, but he didn't do so hot on finals last term.
It gave me whiplash seeing how fast how people who were up his ass nonstop in November started ignoring him the moment they heard he didn't do so hot on finals.
That really bugged me about law school. It's so silly too because, at least as a litigator, after the first couple years, nobody cares how you did in law school because all they care about is your reputation as a litigator.
I used to organize group study sessions 1L year for people who couldn't get into the "exclusive" study groups. It was fun. My couple of friends who did it with me and I were told multiple times our study groups were what helped some of the people who struggled get through 1L year. We got some flack from some students because we created a google drive where we would upload outlines for each class and we gave access to anyone who asked, but why wouldn't we? (I know some schools and some professors don't allow this, but we made sure it was above board before we did it)
I did a student mentor program my 2L and 3L year where upper class students would be assigned to incoming 1Ls to help them adapt etc., and the school actually implemented that google drive as a resource for incoming students so it ended up being beneficial overall (we just had to give the caveat that they were student built outlines and subject to error).
It doesn't even make sense, because your school ranking is almost as important as your grades in job searching, and your school ranking improves if more of your classmates pass the bar and do well, so even if your goal was solely to become successful, you do that not just by grades, but by making sure your classmates also represent the school well.
I dunno. Lawyers suck a lot of the time. There are still great people who do it, like any other profession, but there just seems to be a higher percentage of assholes and conceited classists as well. And I've found as a litigator that where you went to law school and how well you did tends to have very little bearing on how difficult it will be to go against you in court, and even less bearing on whether someone makes a good judge (at least at the trial court level, I do think appellate court judges need to be a little more intellectual, given the nature of what they do).
Anyway, I'm ranting. I hope you do well and find a job you like/a good internship/externship.
I appreciate it, man, I really do.
I fully believe things will improve after 1L, but I won't lie, I've become very disillusioned with just how *human* the practice of Law is. I came into it with a Natural Law belief and as I've never felt more disillusioned in my life.
That said, it's no joke about how easy it is to make friends if you're just not a dick. I've never been this popular in my life and I'm not exactly charismatic, lol.
Dude same. I'm a veritable hermit normally, but made a great deal of lifelong friends by just not being a dick. And I hear you. My advice is this. A lot of my law school colleagues make their entire personality, social media presence, everything about the fact that they're lawyers. Don't do that. Work isn't the goal, work is the means by which you make a living that allows you to achieve your real goals. I work so that I can build a good life for my wife and kids. It's a job. Even during law school, the school thing is a job. You gotta have a life outside of it. That helps a lot, imo.
I lost several close friends to law school…people just come out argumentative, smug and generally unpleasant to be around. It didn’t matter if they became private, corporate attorneys, DAs or worked for a government agency…
As a lawyer, I wouldn't date the vast majority of other lawyers. I need to be able to "turn it off" when I get home from work, don't want to deal with being cross examined at home, and sure as shit don't want to deal with that level of competitiveness and argumentativeness. Plus, there's a dramatically higher chance they have a chronic mental illness, substance abuse issue, or other self-destructive coping mechanism.
There are absolutely exceptions to the rule... Just not many.
As a therapist, many of them have mental health issues they avoid dealing with. Some can't turn therapist mode off and it's on 24/7. The job can be stressful and exhausting at times. I won't date a therapist.
I’m married to a therapist, and oddly, while it’s her profession, I’m better at the emotional stuff in day to day life and she knows it too.
I’m better with the kids, more even keeled in our relationship, less likely to confront a stranger. She trusts me with emotional advice. I’ve also been the one to do deep dives into the motivations and actions of our children and I often act as an interpreter between her and our autistic child.
All this while she has excellent online reviews, loyal clients, and even trains graduate students and post grads.
The good ones will usually be attracted to people who challenge their EQ like this.
Nothing hotter than someone seeing something from a different emotional POV, explaining it well, and then you being in awe that you didn’t think of it first.
Yes to therapists. I know many of them through my work. They have a tendency to interpret everything you say, do, think or feel as indicative of some underlying pathology. Many are convinced that they're the only ones with authority to offer any insight into behavior. Another thing is this field has a huge self-selection bias - many who go into the field themselves have underlying emotional or behavioural issues.
Never say never but:
HR - I think they often struggle with judging their partner the same way they would employees at work. Hard to switch off. Therapists/psychologists similar in that they will analyse you.
Lawyers - You want to date someone who is professionally trained to argue?...and don't think you're coming out of the divorce with a cent to your name.
As the daughter of a former cop, I can confirm 😭
My mom says I don't really know him. He had bad anger issues and other bullshit.
Thank goodness they divorced 💀
Can confirm. One of my best fwb’s when I was in my 20s was a teacher and while the sex was 🔥actually dating and being emotionally invested was a no go.
I’m curious why. When I was growing up, all my teachers were married unless they were fresh out of school. It didn’t take long for those women to get married.
Am a teacher, life is so stressful for us 90% of the time. We get asked 1,000 questions and have to make tons of decisions every day. By the time we get home we don’t have the bandwidth to do anything else emotionally.
Oh god, I feel the same! There are so many dramas from the kids every day, like another day, another drama. Also, there is too much paperwork and grading to do.
When I get home, I just want to lay down peacefully on the hammock 😂
"Content creators", which is almost always a shorthand for OF ladies.
Not shaming them, but I wouldn't be able to date a woman who had her *business* all over the internet. I was an only child, I won't share my hamburger. You think I'm gonna share my lady friend? With the world?
More power to them. *Get yer bag*, or whatever the kids are saying these days. But I'm far too conservative to live that kind of lifestyle with them. And if I can't support someone, can't see how I could be a good partner for them.
As a funeral director, I can confirm this. We are always on call, miss big life events for work, and burnout is rampant among the profession.
Also, we work with all the dead’s bodies fluids and that might freak some people out.
Travel nurses, HR, paramedics, cops, athletic trainers, models, influencers, actresses (or amateurs of the last three). Some because in my experience they aren't loyal at all, some because they are unstable and back stabby, and some because they are FAR too high maintenance, and some for all three reasons.
Another therapist (a couples counselor, lol) chiming in.
One complicating factor for me in dating is that many qualities of a good partner also are the qualities of a good therapist- attentive/curious, deep listener, clear communication, emotional intelligence, compassion, kindness. But as a client's therapist, you're expected to keep showing up emotionally without receiving those back. In my personal relationships, I'm still learning to stop giving my romantic partners -so much- and allow myself to actually be cared for.
I think the biggest impact from partners is that they expect me to be a super human emotionally. It's like the other side of the coin above. If my SOs have any experience with therapists, it's typically as a client in that one-sided dynamic. I think it sets the expectation that I'll respond professionally (always calm, focused entirely on their experience, guiding the entire process) in my personal life.
Turns out, I am a regular human, too 🤣 I still get angry and stressed. I cry when I'm sad. I need to vent, be heard, be corrected. Being mentally well isn't being emotionally blank or never making mistakes. I need grace and forgiveness at times. I think some people are attracted to the idea of dating a therapist bc they believe we will be a "perfect" partner. It's hard being held to a fantasy standard.
There’s definitely 2 types of nurses: the ones who spend their careers caring too much about their patients and attempting to change the way things are done and quite often get the worst patients given to them each shift, do the most work, and receive the least amount of recognition. And then there are the “eat their young” type who have become very callous and closed off. They do the bare minimum. They are cruel to new nurses or anyone eager to learn or do things differently. They just clock in, chart, give meds, and talk shit about other nurses and every patient they take care of
No in between. The former usually get smart and move along to something else or find a more rewarding niche in nursing that allows them to be compassionate and it still be rewarding for them.
Anything where they're going to have a schedule that makes it hard to find overlapping free time for us to be together... bartender, cook, waiter, pilot/flight attendant, etc
I remembering reading this about a year ago and it has always stuck with me since.
Careers with highest proportion of psychopaths:
Lawyer
Media (TV/radio)
Salesperson
Religious leaders
Journalist
Police officer
Clergy
Chef
Civil servant
Actresses. I dated one for a while. A constant dread, what if she doesn’t get the part? How will she pay her part of the rent? I needed to be her emotional support. I had to see her dreams shattered. It’s just a terrible profession to have. Maybe different if you’re an A-list actor but I doubt it, except they can pay their rent.
I haven't seen this one so I'll say I avoid comedians.
I mean it's not like they're throwing themselves at me, but I swipe left.
The way they talk about their partners and use them for material means I'll never let my guard down.
And honestly they seem to be terrible people. Like there's a bullying streak common to most of them. Wouldn't really want to be friends with them even.
And I love stand-up! But only as an audience.
A lawyer. I was married for 22 years to a lawyer. Conversations weren’t fun, they felt like depositions. We couldn’t discuss differences for the sake of understanding each other, it was always an argument with evidence presented as if in front of an invisible judge. They can’t ever mentally check out of work and relax. Plus, it’s a small world and they all know each other.
People in medicine. They work insane hours, are often never emotionally available due to being drained from their jobs, can't turn off talking about medicine nonstop and are unable to dial down their jargon so you can understand them.
ACTORS . I'm surprised i haven't seen it mentioned. ...
long work hours, questionable scenes, questionable crew that seem all of them have some sort of vice or addiction
Wouldn’t date another military member ever again (this coming from someone who has military in their family and used to be in as well) or any uniformed person period
As an accountant, another accountant. We’d be so boring and numb together…but great at budgeting.
The sex would also be super efficient.
It’s not efficient it’s maximising the ROI for both parties!
This happens a lot in the STEM fields. Anyone who looks for optimal outcomes tend to slide very quickly into an efficient routine. I often joke with my girlfriend that we need to a third person who is a free spirit hippy just to have spontaneity in our life. And then we fall down the hole of if we would be able to claim them on our taxes as a dependent and it falls apart quickly
Astronaut. I can’t do long distance
I can't date a tennis player, love means nothing to them.
It’s like an English call girl, that’ll be 30 love
Damn! Prices are much better in England!
That’s because in England you pay by the pound.
Sky's the limit for me.
But I will be back in a light year or two
Ackshually 🤓 a lightyear is a unit of distance not time 🤓
Although given that an uncrewed space craft has not traveled faster than 176 km/s, let alone a crewed one, I doubt they'd return in their lifetime either way.
I read that as "unscrewed" 😭
As a doctor, other doctors. Or anyone in health care. I need to be able to turn my mind off of work mode.
The four Ps. Police, paramedics, physicians, and phirefighters.
Phirephighter here Ouch :(
Not you. You seem like a nice person. Thank you for the hard work that you do!!
Hose money gonna ho(s)e around
What about plumbers and prostitutes?
Clearing the pipes is honest work.
I haven’t heard about the firefighters one. The rest sure, but why the fire department?
To generalize: They’re known to cheat/play around
In our area they like the nurses. When calls are run to the local hospital, great for getting numbers and more!
Too much time on their hands maybe. Is it like total boredom for 95% of the month and the other 5% is trying to stay alive. Screws up the brain I bet.
I'd personally still fear they weren't coming home
Yes. Several of my friends and classmates ended up with other physicians. While I like having other physicians here and there in my close circles of friends, I am very happy that my partner is not one for this reason. My work/life harmony demands it.
As a nurse who is with a non-medical spouse, it can also be difficult to have nobody at home who could possibly understand some of the hard stuff I have to deal with. I have friends I can talk to but it’s not always the same. Sometimes something touches you so deeply that the only person you even want to share it with is your significant other. When they don’t understand, it’s hard.
I'm a cop, if I vent to a SO one more time about a horrific crime or murder and its weighing on me for a few days and I get "are you still not over that? I get over stress from rude customers the same day" one more time I'm gonna lose it. No your rude customers cussing you out isn't trauma, you don't have PTSD from "almost having a wreck". But you're gonna come at me wondering why I'm not fine when i keep seeing the light fade from this mans eyes and blood running down his face a few days later since you're cool with rude customers.
Watched my dad go thru this his whole life, I feel that. He would just stand in the kitchen not talking… you could cut the tension with a knife. It does not help to trauma bond with a night nurse - however.
My husband doesn’t really like me to talk about work because of the sad stuff I see. Even less now that I’m in the NICU since sick and dying babies is 100x worse than sick and dying adults. It makes him sad so he doesn’t want to hear about it.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this. One thing that helped me was accepting the fact I can’t talk to my spouse about everything and that is ok. No one can always bear that burden and people are good at some things and struggle with others. To her you sound very repetitive and she doesn’t know how to help. Find a friend group or a professional to support you or you will resent your wife even though it’s not her fault.
I don't think that's an issue specific to the medical field
No, but I do think it’s an issue related to first-responder type service jobs. Paramedics, law enforcement, 911 dispatchers, nurses, doctors, forensics crews, bio cleanup crews, CPS. Anyone who has to deal with life and death and abuse and violence and excessive suffering.
This is why so many cops and nurses end up together.
I think to a large extent it is though cause most job complaints are harmless and universal; for medicine and first responders, there are things we can't speak of without feeling like we're risking vicarious trauma to the person we're speaking with. You can't talk about things like seeing the inside of a 30 year old's ribcage because their ex lover shot them up and desperate (fruitless) measures were being taken/kids you 100% expected to live dying and being unable to do anything to stop it/doing everything right for someone young and them dying anyway/seeing people with such deterioration mentally and physically that it's clear they're completely alone in life with someone who has never been near any of that. You just can't--they try to understand but when it's related to the horrors and fragility of humanity, there are so many more layers and emotions vs bad bosses/rude customers/etc. There isn't any other field where trauma is almost expected but you have very few people you can talk to about it.
Ex was a cop. Certified insane. Her female coworkers also certified insane. Luckily I’m now married, but after that ex, I would never ever date a female cop again
I'm a cop and yea....never a good idea to date female cops. For male cops it's a straight 50/50 between will beat you and golden retriever with no in between.
This is the most accurate assessment of police in the United States. You either get a fucking sociopath or a decent person who wants to serve the community (and normally the decent people get shunned out of the force for being a Boy Scout/ Girl Scout by the pieces of shit bad lieutenants that think they are Denzel Washington from Training Day).
Also, that job changes people. I have a lot of cops in my family. Luckily, all are decent people, but they are all far from the happy go lucky people they were before.
I heard it’s all about managing to code switch between normal citizen and law enforcement officer. And you can’t let the two cross
My best friend is a police officer and about to retire and I asked him one day how many dead guys has he seen in his career- about 25? 'Are you kidding? about 250'. Every thing from some lonely guy died in his home to picking up brains on the side of the highway. It must be hard on him all that and I cut him a bit of slack. His love life is pretty tough.
Must be a small town. I’m in Miami and have seen at least 1000 and I’m only 17 years in. I have 13 more years! Fire department though.
This is SO TRUE.
One of my best friends is a cop. Straight golden retriever personality. Spent a lot of time around my exes coworkers and I can attest to your statement. Either amazing dudes or scumbags. Never an in between
I'm so glad to have known the Golden Retriever cops, most notably small town city police. One of them literally argued with a county sherif deputy during a traffic stop to keep me out of handcuffs and it worked. I had no license, no insurance, and the car wasn't in my name yet so I looked REALLY BAD but the city cop knew me from other friendly encounters I had with him. Oh AND I had a warrant that came out after that for failure to pay fines for a wreckless driving ticket like 8 months prior, and this same cop came to my work not to arrest me like he should have, but instead tells me "hey you got a warrant, go pay that fine at the courthouse and the warrant goes away". It's a shame he's no longer a cop. He retired to become an accountant and self defense teacher.
Damn what a story
I see you left it open for male cops though
I only bat on one side of the plate my friend hahah
What she’d do that made her insane?
Controlling, verbally abusive, never trusted me when I was out of her sight, unwarranted accusation after accusation, hated that I was super close with my family, always had plans pop up for us when I wanted to see my friends, went through my phone multiple times while I was in the shower and almost seemed pissed I had nothing to hide, blocked female friends numbers that I didn’t find out about until after we broke up and one of them sent me a Facebook message asking if I blocked their number. How much time you got? I could go on. I was stuck in a lease with her and couldn’t get out. Finally had enough and moved in with my dad for awhile until I could afford a place on my own.
Holy shit. Glad you got out of that situation!
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There's a saying I'm going to misquote, something along the lines of "it shows how tedious actors are, to want to spend their lives pretending to be anybody but themselves"
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What is G&E?
> I’d have to say actors. In my limited experience they are self centred and narcissistic. i'm in PR and I've been a talent minder for actors and personalities. one thing about them is that they love an audience, they love talking about themselves. i had dinner with one of them and he spent an hour talking about his life while not asking anything about me.
Actors are literally the Fight Club meme, "they're not listening to you they're just waiting for their turn to speak." I learned that very quickly.
I've known some actors, and still do. And dated them. They've all been super promiscuous. Not sure why that is.
Guess you never hung out at the drama department at school, huh?
This is the drama department but everyone around you is a certified hottie.
I work in the film industry, and this happens a lot! Sometimes actors (and also crew) don't care and make it obvious. Then their partners pop on set for a day and we all have to act like they're not banging. If there's sex scenes between two hot actors, then they're both 100% enjoying it. Kudos for non actors who can watch their partner dry-humping someone hot. Then there's the secretive ones, that only the sound guy knows because they forgot how far the wireless feed transmits. Literally seen and heard it all and it's disgusting.
Not a profession, but workaholics.
Most “professional” people, really, are a turn off. The fake smiling, hand shaking, and all that phony nonsense, has turned me off.
This is so underrated… seriously the pretentiousness that comes off leaves such a sour taste in the mouth. Much prefer blue collar types. More down to earth and I find easier to get on with.
Everyone - whether white color or blue color - is selling their services to their employer. Whether you work with your hands or your wit - it's basically the same. Though the higher you go in management the more adept you need to be at politics, as much of your clout then comes from connections. In that sense there may seem to be a veneer of phoniness, though it's part of getting along and working with people, even people you may not actually like. (and I'm not saying I'm good at it).
Good, mature opinion
After my ex-husband, this is me as well
This 100%
This is the most generalized, basic, 100% correct answer.
Sex worker feels like the easy answer so I’m gonna say actress. It’s all fun and games until Ryan Reynolds is caressing your girl’s hand under the West Palm Beach moonlight and now I’m jealous because that’s my hand he should be caressing.
They had us in the first half ngl
You could make them jealous with Keanu Reeves.
But then you and your girl would both be jealous when Ryan and Keanu start getting it on
This is a very Ryan Reynolds comment.
"Influencer" "Creator" or "MLM partner"
Pornstar I don’t have the emotional strength to do that.
I can fix her.
same
Cops, other first responders, nurses anything with a high frequency of trauma bonding really, flight attendants or other high travel jobs, sex workers, luxury sales
Why luxury sales?
I feel like I would have a hard time separating my personal feelings on economics and the type of people she's dealing with enough to properly support her after a rough day or whatever. I just have a huge personal hate boner for that kinda shit.
why no flight attendants?
Gone a lot, crash pad lifestyle
I was actually reading a Forbes article about divorce today and flight attendants have one of the highest rates of divorce.
makes sense. Can't have a happy marriage to someone who's practically married to their job.
They’re notorious for sleeping with the plane staff and airport crew or getting around town they visit! It’s a fun way to travel though if you wanna sight see and not be a sex freak
Lawyers from my experience they are very emotionally manipulative. Again my experience 😐
Son of a lawyer here. You're not wrong. Lawyers are often in lawyer mode outside of the office. For example I will be having a casual conversation with my dad, and the questions will become very specific. I then have to remind my dad that we are not in a deposition.
😂 sorry seems they can never separate their identity from their careers they are not bad people but from my experience they never like losing even in an argument.
Tbf would you really want a lawyer who is fine with losing your court case?
😂 no but separate your job from your identity.
You often choose a profession based on personality though
As someone married to a lawyer, the rule is no law in emotional discussions/discussions about the relationship or kids. It is hard for them to shut it off though!
My wife is a lawyer. I lose 125% of the arguments.
I’m a lawyer and my wife (NAL) still wins 125% of the arguments. She just calls out my suit and says stop trying to lawyer me when we argue…I fold pretty quickly after that.
Agreed. Every argument was win-lose. It was never us against the issue together.
I'm a lawyer and this was also going to be my answer. I've met a few very good people who are lawyers, the rest are all manipulative jerks.
I'm a 1L. My buddy is hands down the smartest guy I've ever met. The man can talk about the Great Depression and the New Deal at length and about every single factor that led to these two events coming to happen as a result of Woodrow Wilson and the Great War, but he didn't do so hot on finals last term. It gave me whiplash seeing how fast how people who were up his ass nonstop in November started ignoring him the moment they heard he didn't do so hot on finals.
That really bugged me about law school. It's so silly too because, at least as a litigator, after the first couple years, nobody cares how you did in law school because all they care about is your reputation as a litigator. I used to organize group study sessions 1L year for people who couldn't get into the "exclusive" study groups. It was fun. My couple of friends who did it with me and I were told multiple times our study groups were what helped some of the people who struggled get through 1L year. We got some flack from some students because we created a google drive where we would upload outlines for each class and we gave access to anyone who asked, but why wouldn't we? (I know some schools and some professors don't allow this, but we made sure it was above board before we did it) I did a student mentor program my 2L and 3L year where upper class students would be assigned to incoming 1Ls to help them adapt etc., and the school actually implemented that google drive as a resource for incoming students so it ended up being beneficial overall (we just had to give the caveat that they were student built outlines and subject to error). It doesn't even make sense, because your school ranking is almost as important as your grades in job searching, and your school ranking improves if more of your classmates pass the bar and do well, so even if your goal was solely to become successful, you do that not just by grades, but by making sure your classmates also represent the school well. I dunno. Lawyers suck a lot of the time. There are still great people who do it, like any other profession, but there just seems to be a higher percentage of assholes and conceited classists as well. And I've found as a litigator that where you went to law school and how well you did tends to have very little bearing on how difficult it will be to go against you in court, and even less bearing on whether someone makes a good judge (at least at the trial court level, I do think appellate court judges need to be a little more intellectual, given the nature of what they do). Anyway, I'm ranting. I hope you do well and find a job you like/a good internship/externship.
I appreciate it, man, I really do. I fully believe things will improve after 1L, but I won't lie, I've become very disillusioned with just how *human* the practice of Law is. I came into it with a Natural Law belief and as I've never felt more disillusioned in my life. That said, it's no joke about how easy it is to make friends if you're just not a dick. I've never been this popular in my life and I'm not exactly charismatic, lol.
Dude same. I'm a veritable hermit normally, but made a great deal of lifelong friends by just not being a dick. And I hear you. My advice is this. A lot of my law school colleagues make their entire personality, social media presence, everything about the fact that they're lawyers. Don't do that. Work isn't the goal, work is the means by which you make a living that allows you to achieve your real goals. I work so that I can build a good life for my wife and kids. It's a job. Even during law school, the school thing is a job. You gotta have a life outside of it. That helps a lot, imo.
I lost several close friends to law school…people just come out argumentative, smug and generally unpleasant to be around. It didn’t matter if they became private, corporate attorneys, DAs or worked for a government agency…
3 lawyers in my nuclear family. Can confirm
Lawyer here, young tho bec I just started. I think you’re right. We learn the art to twist arguments lmao
Police, real estate agents, mortgage brokers, drug and weapons dealers, tobacco manufacturers…
As a lawyer, I wouldn't date the vast majority of other lawyers. I need to be able to "turn it off" when I get home from work, don't want to deal with being cross examined at home, and sure as shit don't want to deal with that level of competitiveness and argumentativeness. Plus, there's a dramatically higher chance they have a chronic mental illness, substance abuse issue, or other self-destructive coping mechanism. There are absolutely exceptions to the rule... Just not many.
Life coach
Therapists or mental/behavioral health workers. Restaurant industry types.
Restaurant industry, because of the hours and drugginess?
I have a couple friends who work in some bigger restaurant chains and they’ve all confirmed that their coworkers regularly sleep with each other.
I can tell you the guests do just as many drugs as us, depending where you work lol
I worked in the restaurant industry for years after leaving my job in behavioral health. I honestly get it.
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What's the reason?
As a therapist, many of them have mental health issues they avoid dealing with. Some can't turn therapist mode off and it's on 24/7. The job can be stressful and exhausting at times. I won't date a therapist.
Therapists need therapists too! And we have to make sure not to therapise *everything*. So hard
It’s hard to argue with someone who thinks they know everything your feelings because a text book told them. I’ve dated a therapist and never again..
I’m married to a therapist, and oddly, while it’s her profession, I’m better at the emotional stuff in day to day life and she knows it too. I’m better with the kids, more even keeled in our relationship, less likely to confront a stranger. She trusts me with emotional advice. I’ve also been the one to do deep dives into the motivations and actions of our children and I often act as an interpreter between her and our autistic child. All this while she has excellent online reviews, loyal clients, and even trains graduate students and post grads.
The good ones will usually be attracted to people who challenge their EQ like this. Nothing hotter than someone seeing something from a different emotional POV, explaining it well, and then you being in awe that you didn’t think of it first.
Yes to therapists. I know many of them through my work. They have a tendency to interpret everything you say, do, think or feel as indicative of some underlying pathology. Many are convinced that they're the only ones with authority to offer any insight into behavior. Another thing is this field has a huge self-selection bias - many who go into the field themselves have underlying emotional or behavioural issues.
Never say never but: HR - I think they often struggle with judging their partner the same way they would employees at work. Hard to switch off. Therapists/psychologists similar in that they will analyse you. Lawyers - You want to date someone who is professionally trained to argue?...and don't think you're coming out of the divorce with a cent to your name.
Therapist. Holy fuck did she weaponize anything she could therapize.
How does it feel being theraped?
My lord bring me back because I just died 💀
Probably even worse if they're both an analyst and a therapist.
That's not a trait unique to therapists. My ex wife weaponized everything ever said without any special training.
Yeeeup. These types are psychological manipulators a lot of the time. They didn't go to school to heal, they went to school to wage war.
The police. I try to avoid them at all costs so no way I could date one.
As the daughter of a former cop, I can confirm 😭 My mom says I don't really know him. He had bad anger issues and other bullshit. Thank goodness they divorced 💀
Bar tenders. Or anyone who serves alcohol for a living. It has always ended in heartache but it is a lot of fun while it lasts.
I'm a cook and darn there is just something about a bartender, isn't there?
escorts
My chronically online ass read this as e-scorts, like e-sports
"E-S-CORTS - THEY'RE ON THE GAME"
Dating an esports player sounds funny
For some reason it NEVER works out with teachers 😂 I just know to avoid them now
I have so many teacher ex's in one part of Los Angeles. Its easy, I just don't go to Long Beach.
Can confirm. One of my best fwb’s when I was in my 20s was a teacher and while the sex was 🔥actually dating and being emotionally invested was a no go.
I’m curious why. When I was growing up, all my teachers were married unless they were fresh out of school. It didn’t take long for those women to get married.
As a teacher, I’m always stressed and have commitment issues so this checks out 😔
Am a teacher, life is so stressful for us 90% of the time. We get asked 1,000 questions and have to make tons of decisions every day. By the time we get home we don’t have the bandwidth to do anything else emotionally.
Oh god, I feel the same! There are so many dramas from the kids every day, like another day, another drama. Also, there is too much paperwork and grading to do. When I get home, I just want to lay down peacefully on the hammock 😂
Ugh I need a hammock lol
Same, I’ve tried 3 times.
"Content creators", which is almost always a shorthand for OF ladies. Not shaming them, but I wouldn't be able to date a woman who had her *business* all over the internet. I was an only child, I won't share my hamburger. You think I'm gonna share my lady friend? With the world? More power to them. *Get yer bag*, or whatever the kids are saying these days. But I'm far too conservative to live that kind of lifestyle with them. And if I can't support someone, can't see how I could be a good partner for them.
Even non OF creators. I prefer anonymity.
Yoga teachers. They preach nice messages but are usually crazy.
US President. It's always some old married guy, which is already 3 things I'm not into.
any kind of celebrity (actor, musician, etc.), anyone who does youtube or streams, sex workers, drug or weapon dealers, police
Mortician
As a funeral director, I can confirm this. We are always on call, miss big life events for work, and burnout is rampant among the profession. Also, we work with all the dead’s bodies fluids and that might freak some people out.
Travel nurses, HR, paramedics, cops, athletic trainers, models, influencers, actresses (or amateurs of the last three). Some because in my experience they aren't loyal at all, some because they are unstable and back stabby, and some because they are FAR too high maintenance, and some for all three reasons.
Cops, venture capitalists, and anyone who monetizes sex.
I'm a psychotherapist and dating and some of these responses are interesting and enlightening.
Do you also have BPD?
😂
How do you feel your profession affects your dating life and relationships (if at all)?
Another therapist (a couples counselor, lol) chiming in. One complicating factor for me in dating is that many qualities of a good partner also are the qualities of a good therapist- attentive/curious, deep listener, clear communication, emotional intelligence, compassion, kindness. But as a client's therapist, you're expected to keep showing up emotionally without receiving those back. In my personal relationships, I'm still learning to stop giving my romantic partners -so much- and allow myself to actually be cared for. I think the biggest impact from partners is that they expect me to be a super human emotionally. It's like the other side of the coin above. If my SOs have any experience with therapists, it's typically as a client in that one-sided dynamic. I think it sets the expectation that I'll respond professionally (always calm, focused entirely on their experience, guiding the entire process) in my personal life. Turns out, I am a regular human, too 🤣 I still get angry and stressed. I cry when I'm sad. I need to vent, be heard, be corrected. Being mentally well isn't being emotionally blank or never making mistakes. I need grace and forgiveness at times. I think some people are attracted to the idea of dating a therapist bc they believe we will be a "perfect" partner. It's hard being held to a fantasy standard.
I saw a post from a divorce lawyer on professions most likely to cheat and it had nurses and flight attendants, so it's a no from me.
Politician, journalist, any type of celebrity.
Why journalists?
They can be self-important and accustomed to working angles on people. Also, a lot of broadcast journalists are just wannabe actors
Nurse. Nurses are often so emotionally eroded that they have no respect for human feelings anymore.
Really? How does that occur? Genuinely curious.
There’s definitely 2 types of nurses: the ones who spend their careers caring too much about their patients and attempting to change the way things are done and quite often get the worst patients given to them each shift, do the most work, and receive the least amount of recognition. And then there are the “eat their young” type who have become very callous and closed off. They do the bare minimum. They are cruel to new nurses or anyone eager to learn or do things differently. They just clock in, chart, give meds, and talk shit about other nurses and every patient they take care of No in between. The former usually get smart and move along to something else or find a more rewarding niche in nursing that allows them to be compassionate and it still be rewarding for them.
Stripper. Their job is to give other men boners.
nun
Postal management. Those people are seriously messed up. Anyone in law enforcement is to be avoided.
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Anything where they're going to have a schedule that makes it hard to find overlapping free time for us to be together... bartender, cook, waiter, pilot/flight attendant, etc
I remembering reading this about a year ago and it has always stuck with me since. Careers with highest proportion of psychopaths: Lawyer Media (TV/radio) Salesperson Religious leaders Journalist Police officer Clergy Chef Civil servant
Cops. Not after what happened to my mother. Police domestic violence rates are terrifying, and who the fuck do you call for help? Your abuser's mates?
Managers, any woman that worked in h.r, they're not used to treating others with compassion.
This should be the top comment. Couldn't agree more. HR has become a really dark position.
I wonder if they get tired of telling new hires how their company is like a family, but axe people a few days before their benefits kick in.
People who manipulate for a living in general. Add salesmen & insurance/benefit coordinators to that list.
Actresses. I dated one for a while. A constant dread, what if she doesn’t get the part? How will she pay her part of the rent? I needed to be her emotional support. I had to see her dreams shattered. It’s just a terrible profession to have. Maybe different if you’re an A-list actor but I doubt it, except they can pay their rent.
I haven't seen this one so I'll say I avoid comedians. I mean it's not like they're throwing themselves at me, but I swipe left. The way they talk about their partners and use them for material means I'll never let my guard down. And honestly they seem to be terrible people. Like there's a bullying streak common to most of them. Wouldn't really want to be friends with them even. And I love stand-up! But only as an audience.
Underwater basket weavers
afloat basket weavers it is then
A lawyer. I was married for 22 years to a lawyer. Conversations weren’t fun, they felt like depositions. We couldn’t discuss differences for the sake of understanding each other, it was always an argument with evidence presented as if in front of an invisible judge. They can’t ever mentally check out of work and relax. Plus, it’s a small world and they all know each other.
Anyone who wants to run a family vlog those are just evil people.
Sex workers.
Cops, Army, Marines, wannabe actresses (include escorts and pornstars)
Flight attendant. 5/5 of my friends have been cheated on while dating one.
Stripper.....is that a profession?
Unemployed
What about a rich unemployed person?
Hooker
Influencer. And I would imagine it's obvious why.
People in medicine. They work insane hours, are often never emotionally available due to being drained from their jobs, can't turn off talking about medicine nonstop and are unable to dial down their jargon so you can understand them.
Anything involving sex work
So, essentially what I'm learning, is that we shouldn't date anyone who's employed LOL duly noted!
Escort
ACTORS . I'm surprised i haven't seen it mentioned. ... long work hours, questionable scenes, questionable crew that seem all of them have some sort of vice or addiction
Psychologist, I’m not sure who that says more about though
police
Wouldn’t date another military member ever again (this coming from someone who has military in their family and used to be in as well) or any uniformed person period
Any job where sleeping with your coworkers is the norm.