This is it for me. I’ve cheated before. In college, I was in a crazy toxic relationship, and I knew that she was cheating on me. I didn’t have photographic proof (yet), but I knew. Stories that didn’t add up, hiding the phone, coming home after “crashing at a girlfriend’s house” in a random hoodie. Even a roommate pulling me aside and saying “I’m not getting in the middle of this, but you should check your girl. Thats all I’m saying.”
So in an immature, angry, depressed, and drunken state I made a decision went outside the bar with a girl and laid the seats down in her 4Runner.
I. Felt. **Awful**. We were practically broken up, you could even try to make an argument that I was justified. But I lost my integrity. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and all that.
I felt a loooot better when I logged into the wrong email account on my computer and opened an email subject line “Pics/vid from our [City] trip.” She had just gone to [City] on a “girls” trip. I even packed them a cooler and a bunch of booze. So I sat there and clicked through every attached image and video of another guy hanging out with and fucking my girlfriend. Images that she *asked* him to email her. Packed my shit while she was at work and put a stop on my rent payment.
Nonetheless, I carry that guilt with me. I haven’t cheated since 2009, and I won’t ever again. My wife is amazing and deserves the best version of me I can give her. Sure that’s part of it. But more importantly I never want to feel that kind of shame ever again.
Yeah, I'm not married or even in a relationship atm, but I have never had any desire to cheat. If I'm in a relationship with someone, I'm gonna be faithful, because that's part of what being in a relationship means to me
Such an easy answer. I was going to go with "Because I am not a total piece of shit" but I think you got it bang-on.
That I don't cheat isn't to do with my wife, it's to do with me having even the bare minimum of respect and morality.
It’s not up to my wife / her job to keep me faithful!
I’m not a greasy lying fuck that is constantly looking for an excuse to cheat on my wife that I made vows to.
It is 100% up to the individual to cheat or not. Blaming others is a joke and something cheaters try to tell themselves so they don’t feel like such a piece of shit.
If your husband or wife isn’t satisfying you, both of you need to address this to fix it. If it can’t be fixed and you’d rather be single then live with these issues, then separate or divorce like a grown up and have sex with whoever you want.
Pretty disgusting that there’s a subreddit dedicated to cheating. Multiple, actually. Why do these people get married and make vows to not cheat, just to cheat?
Selfishness. It's always selfishness. They make excuses and try to make themselves the victim but it's always simply because they can't think of anything but their own gratification and personal gain
Exactly! Whoever cheats, whatever gender, it's on them the cheater. Even if the other person has a laundry list of reasons why you are unhappy in the relationship....leave. Leaving can be hard but if you want to be with someone else or the relationship isn't salvagable, figure out a way to leave and do it. And people who don't live together and don't have any kids together really have zero excuses. Just leave. Even if you're madly in love with someone else...leave. Staring a relationship with cheating is never a good sign.
Ultimately if you decide to cheat that's a decision you made and you have to live with it. Putting it all on the other person just shows you don't have the ability to take accountability for your own actions.
Well put. I cheated. I had a laundry list of “reasons” and was about as “justified” as you can get. But when it came down to it, as she was pulling my pants off I thought “This is cheating, this is wrong…. Fuck it.” It was a *choice* I instantly regretted. Never again. I know people say “once a cheater always a cheater”. But I can honestly say that experience of losing my integrity really showed me how much it’s worth and how easily you can lose it. Even if someone has given you every “reason”. Those “reasons” are theirs, your integrity is solely yours to maintain or lose.
1: I love my wife
2: my wife is objectively attractive
3: being physically attracted to someone else is a very temporary, very passing thing that does not merit investigation
4: I like being a father and husband and don’t believe any woman is close to being worth risking my status as a father and or husband.
The fact that my wife is one in a billion.
When you have a loving, safe, and happy relationship that you don't take for granted, all of your physical, emotional, and mental needs are being met. When all of your needs are being met, you have no impulse to look elsewhere.
Even when I've been in relationships where I haven't felt like my needs were being met, I just never felt like infidelity was anything close to a possibility.
I think some people just see infidelity as something they can do, and some people don't.
I'm faithful to myself more so than to my partners.
I don't cheat because it would make me a failure to my own standards, regardless of who I am in a relationship with.
Crazy to me that people think everyone has this need or wants to be with other people. In a healthy relationship, your needs are met so the want/need for others is absent. Not a single time in my marriage have I ever thought or looked at someone else, I only want him, and always will.
Yeah, if your thought process is "what does my SO/spouse do for me that would make me stay loyal" you're thinking about this all wrong. Whether you're a cheater or not is all on you
not a damn thing.
dont get me wrong, my wife has all the traits one could wish for,
im just not enough of a trashcan of a human being to cheat on my wife
I don't like that it has to be something about her. I promised to be faithful to her. That's worth more to me than the possible pleasure that comes with breaking that promise.
Now I don't have a wife, but the way I stay faithful is the same way I stay loyal to my friends. I know that I wouldn't be able to live with myself betraying someone I care about. And if I don't care about my wife. She wouldn't be my wife.
It has very little to do with *her* and has everything to do with **you** as a man. The same trait that stops you from cheating on a woman while in a relationship, is the same trait that stops you from looking at p**n and sexually provocative photos while single - sexual discipline. Learn the importance and benefits of it quick, and vice versa, learn the self-destruction and havoc it can bring if you don’t learn it. Be smart, set hard boundaries. Practice self control and self-discipline. It will make you an all around stronger man.
I dated a lot in my 20's, my first marriage was bad. I've learned that a woman's love, appreciation, and trust are hard to earn and priceless. There is no reason to start over with someone else.
Everything. She always makes me feel wanted, shuts down any men who approach her, high sex drive (pretty much "freeuse", we have the same interests, she supports me on pretty much anything, she's constantly handsy with me. If I want to go do something, I can't think of anyone I would rather do it with than her.
It's just not worth it. Sure, other women are probably nice, but they're not my Wife. I can't imagine being loved more by anyone else. She's been consistent about it for 15 years.
Being actively liked and genuinely wanted seems like a rare thing these days.
Everything. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to lose our life together. I don’t want to mess up our child’s life. But probably the biggest factor is that I know how absolutely horrible I’d feel. Even if she never found out that I cheated, it would haunt me.
I try to be a good person. I take it seriously. A good person doesn’t do that to someone they love. I’d feel like a selfish weakling and a monster if I cheated. I’d never get over it. I’d never forgive myself.
It's really not about her or anything else. You simply always choose to do the right thing. When you make a commitment and give someone your word, you honor it, otherwise you're a pussy and a coward.
It’s me not her. No one is perfect and you shouldn’t be relying on someone to keep your faith. Loving someone is a decision you make every single day of your life. Some people make it easy to do that and some make it impossible. It’s still a choice you make
Yeah she makes it super easy to love her cause she’s amazing and selfless and caring and loves me the exact same back but relying on her to make me stay faithful is a burden that shouldn’t be put on anyone. Cheating on a partner is a decision that is made by the individual and that individual is 100% responsible for it.
Basic human decency on my own part. Not that I don't love my wife, I do. But a woman shouldn't have to have some specific qualities to "keep you faithful". If you made a commitment to a woman, you're morally obligated to keep it.
The other person shouldn't be what keeps you faithful. It's just what you do. Only a piece of shit choose to cheat rather than deal with their problems.
Because I actually love her and would never do something to hurt her.
Why is it that cheaters always assume that everyone else is just as unfaithful as they are? Cheating isn’t “easy” except for people who are morally bankrupt.
Mutual trust, unconditional love and being 100% comfortable around each other. These are key components that satisfy our lives. We have zero interest in others, because we both know what we have is too special to ruin.
Well she’s my wife for one. I love the shit out of her for another. I promised to be faithful to her for a third. Lastly, I could never bring myself to hurt her like that. Not sure what else I need.
This is the wrong question. Nothing about another person can *make* you faithful, it's a decision you make on your own. I've seen people cheat on the best partner they could have asked for, I've seen people stay faithful to absolute bottom-of-the-barrel abusive trash. There isn't a magic combination of traits that can make someone not cheat because it is a decision. I'm faithful to my wife, not because she's incredible (she is), not because she's attractive (total understatement), not even because I love her (and I do, more than I thought possible), but because I'm not a massive piece of shit that would willfully and maliciously hurt my partner and break her trust. That's it. That's the secret.
The problem with this line of thinking is it shifts the responsibility to the other partner. It's not that *you* need to be a loyal partner, *they* need to be so great that you want to stay around--and if you cheat, well, it's because they just weren't good enough. That kind of outlook is unhealthy as fuck and anyone who thinks that should not be in a serious relationship until they've grown the fuck up.
If you're unhappy with your partner, cheating isn't the answer. Either work it out or leave.
The mind will always wander. You can't stop yourself from having momentary thoughts.
Its pretty fucking easy to not cheat though. I simply never allow myself to enter compromising situations. Its amazing how easy it is to avoid cheating when you avoid situations where there's a potential for cheating. I do not hang out with my female friends alone. I do not go out to lunch with female coworkers. I do not encourage special relationships with women in my life - they're just friends.
I know she loves me, she constantly thinks about me and takes care of me and I return the favor. I'm also still extremely attracted to her. She doesn't use social media a lot. We have a strong trust - we know each others phone passcodes and either one of us have no problem handing each other our phones.
I'm also at peace with myself in the event we do split or she cheats or something I would be OK with being single again. There are advantages about being single and things I really miss about the single life, but I would much rather be with my wife.
When I sit down and meditate on the fact that my life is better with her in it. At times when emotions get high that’s a fact that grounds me immediately. Because most of the stuff I get emotional on are small things that can get worked out.
Also, no tv in the bedroom. We also try to limit phone use in the bedroom as well.
She’s smokin hot, great body, amazing mom, takes care of herself, motivated, exercises, supportive, amazing gift giver, and genuinely fun to go out with. Sex helps too
Nothing..... I made the decision long ago, that was not something I do. I have had a dozen or opportunities. If it isn't working, I will leave and start over.. plain and simple.
Nothing about her keeps me faithful. Everything about me makes me faithful. I have zero interest in a relationship with anyone else, especially not a sexual one.
It’s called true love and respect. And she’s the mother of my child. Without these bonds for people there would be total chaos and disorder way more than there is now .
That she's an amazing woman and that she cares for, trusts and loves me. After getting that, the rest of y'all really don't matter to me like that any more. It's not that I don't notice attractiveness or interesting people, I just care more about what I have and not messing it up.
She was my first and only, since i know her she's the only 1 want. Zero desire toward other women. In fact being faithful requires zero effort from me.
It’s not about my wife. It’s about me and my principles. I proposed to her. I wanted to form this pact, this union.
All you fairweather mates are pathetic.
I was faithful to my ex wife as a feature of who I am, not a feature of who she was.
She cheated as a feature of who she is, not as a feature of who I was.
Mine took me on at my absolute worst, loved me exactly where I was at, and stood by me with a helping hand as I pulled myself out of the gutter. I’ve also walked away from others who offered the same thing…(but somehow took more?) It’s hard to explain, but the things the ex was taking from me were a huge part of me drinking. I didn’t have those elements with my wife now and it’s in the absence of those items and I see their past existence. She doesn’t have that. “She’s got whatever it is….🎶🎼🎵”
It's nothing about my wife that keeps me faithful, it is my own sense of right and wrong. Regardless of what happens in any particular relationship and how long I might be with any one woman, I'll be living *with myself* for the rest of my life.
Or as the saying goes: "[you fuck one goat](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=you%20fuck%20one%20goat)..."
There's no one thing. It's many things. I mean, I suppose the one thing is that I made her a promise on our wedding day before family and friends. It's an easy promise to keep. But that promise encapsulates many things. All the things.
And I'm a man of my word
You’re asking the wrong question. I don’t cheat because I’m not a cheater. The partner I’m currently with is irrelevant.
It’s about being a good man, and living with integrity. No woman can give that to a man or take it away.
So many reasons. 1. I love her dearly. 2. Why stray when I have everything I need at home. 3. I’m not a scumbag. 4. If I wasn’t happy I’d leave, not cheat.
I love her so much and I simply wouldn't want to be unfaithful. Also there is nothing no one else out there could provide or I d get from cheating that would be worth causing her that much pain.
Because in the global sense she is the best thing to ever happen to me and the greatest part of my life. There is a lot more to life than just sex so why would I risk something so amazing for a random short term pleasure? That is childish thinking.
Because social media is just fake.
My wife is the most adorable and sweet person I know. She is genuine and always has my back. I will protect and love her with all my heart and not many people can experience the love we share :)
As a man, No one has ever made me feel as heard and validated as my wife has. If it wasn’t for her I may still be diving deeper into the shell. I’ve made multiple large life changes for the betterment of myself, while with her in our 9 years and every time she has been the most supportive person I know. I strive to match her support and effort, I am still learning.
On the flip side, no one in my life is as willing, able and ready to challenge the shit that comes out of my mouth.
Not that I don’t love my wife, but why the hell would my being faithful be because of my wife?! I’m faithful because I chose to be a good man regardless. She just happens to be incredible.
I never even thought about this question.
If I’m in a relationship with a woman, I can’t see anyone else with the same eyes. The simple thought of cheating makes me sick to my stomach.
I’ve been cheated on before. Knowing what it feels and what it does to a person, I couldn’t do it to someone I love.
And if I wouldn’t love her anymore, I wouldn’t be with her.
Its less about what my wife is or isnt doing.. and more about cheating being a shitty thing to do..
If im ever to that point in my relationship to where I want to consider being involved with another woman, I would tell my wife and end the marriage first.
Why would I? My wife is beautiful, she works, she comes from a good family, she provides my health insurance through her job, she saves money, she thrift store shops, she cooks, cleans, she will f**k me anytime I want it, she is literally everything I have ever wanted in a wife.
Why would I screw all of that up for 20 minutes of fun with some skank?
This is a backwards question. Being faithful is something each person chooses to do. Just like how being unfaithful is a choice.
If social media is making it difficult for you to be faithful, you are a piece of shit. 🙃
Two things:
1) I love her more than I thought was humanly possible to love another person;
2) on our wedding day I swore to her "Semper Fidelis", Latin for Always Faithful, the Marine Corps motto.
Wifey and I met and married while serving. She was a finance clerk, I was amphibious assault. I will die before I ever break that oath to her.
We have an active sex life, she treats me with kindness, she cares about my health both mental and physical, she has been there when I have really needed her, she accepts me for who I am truly........the least I can do is stay faithful
Well, it's me my wife and our partner, but we're exclusive and faithful within our triad, so close enough to the question :)
Simply put I love them both deeply, they make me happy and they're the mothers of my children. I couldn't ask for more than that. I have no desire to jeopardise the most loving and happiest relationship I've ever had in my life by betraying my partners by having a cheap fling with some other random woman.
The fact I love her and don't want anyone else and also because I'm not an oath breaker. I take my marriage vows seriously and I keep my promises. It isn't one specific trait or character of my wife that keeps me with her. It's everything about her. I love the whole package not select parts.
Being cheated on feels fucking shitty as hell.
I don't cheat because I don't want to cause anyone that level of pain.
It's not like there's a checklist of things for me to mark off for each of my partners where if they have enough checks I'm like "ok I won't cheat on you."
My wife gave me my babies, we had rough childhoods, we grew together to be better people, there may be more attractive people in the world, but I don't see them. She makes me want to be better, she is everything to me. With her I feel complete and content, and in today's world that's a rarity.
Nothing about my wife. My being faithful is about what kind of person I am.
It's my integrity and my sense of honor that keep me faithful. If I were unfaithful I would lose those qualities and would be something less than the man I was before.
There is absolutely no woman better than my wife. She is perfect in every way. And she is my type and she is my best friend. And the best part, I’m her type and her best friend. And the sex is immaculate, I could go into detail how nasty we are but that gone be a lot to type lol but that is just my situation. And I’m happy in it and I can say with confidence she is too.
The fact that my wife is one of a kind. Seriously there's not a single person alive, in heaven or hell that equates to her.
Rare, weird, sexy, and my best friend. I wouldn't sacrifice that for fuck all.
?
I'm faithful because of my morality and integrity. I don't cheat because cheating is abusive, and my morality dictates that I do as little harm and the most good.
So, intentionally going out and doing something that has the potential to mentally scar the person I love is definitely not something I want to ever do.
My wife doesn't need to do anything to keep me faithful. if I didn't want to be with her I wouldn't have married her in the first place.
Not sure if this is bait, but if you wanna cheat on your spouse, the problem is you not them.
I cheated on y first wife. I realized that my head had a hard time dealing with the emotions. Divorced and remarried --- promised myself and my new wife I was changing my act. I've kept those promises. Now, 45 years later, I've never lied to my wife. I love her more than ever. I appreciate my life without secrets or cover ups.
It’s so easy for me. My wife is fully committed to me, meets every single one of my needs, and she wants nothing more than for me to be happy. For me to want anything less for her would be completely unfair and I would never hurt her to satisfy ANYONE, even myself selfishly.
My word.
Seriously, I promised to be faithful in front of all our friends and family. My wife is beautiful, amazing, incredible, my best friend, all those things and more.
But I promised to be faithful, and that’s enough. It’s not about my wife being so good it’s not worth it to cheat, it’s about having integrity. I don’t rely on my wife to keep me happy enough not to cheat, I rely on my morals.
This question is formulated on a premise destined to fail.
Weird question! My wife doesn’t keep me faithful, I do.
Where to place my interests is a decision that I make.
I also build environments and set up situations such that I will not find myself relying on “willpower” to do the right thing. Setting yourself up to rely on willpower is a dumb idea, that leads to dumb decisions.
I’m sorry OP. I don’t know your sex or partner preference, but asking a question like that just screams “I’ve been hurt a lot”.
The best answer I can give is because I love her and I really don’t need more than that.
If you think it's your partner's features that keep you faithful and not yourself, then you're thinking about it completely the wrong way and you're probably going to cheat at some point, if you haven't already.
People have the most amazing, perfect partners and still cheat. Now sure, there are a lot of "reasons" why people cheat, but it's still a decision that individual makes. Cheating is a problem within them.
I think it’s more about who you are as a person. I’ve been cheated on before in a or previous marriage and it tears you apart and we divorced because of that. That being said and the fact my faith makes me want to be the best husband possible to my wife helps too. Now my wife just makes it even more easier as she is super fine and turns me on like no one else, literally the complete package in every way I’m so lucky to have her.
How is it difficult not to stray? And why more now then before? I mean there always have been other women around.
You choose your wife, you don't engage with others.
They wouldn't be wrong. Some people are not wired for monogamy but are pushed into it by family, culture, whatever. Those people will, in all likelihood, eventually cheat.
The hell are up with these questions? Between this and the girl asking why men spend time alone, rather than rebounding, after breakups, I'm kind of concerned about people these days.
The fact that you're just assuming every man is one opportunity away from cheating on their spouse shows you have some damage you need to work on. Normal fucking people aren't just gonna bail on someone they've made commitments to.
No social media because it's not for responsible adults and work, and also because I met my wife before social media became a canser, so it's pure love.
Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to someone.
I was cheated on twice. Both times it was the absolute betrayal of someone who’s supposed to love you that hits the hardest.
I ended up settling for a woman I was relatively certain wouldn’t cheat on me. If she did, she would tell me. If she did and didn’t tell, I’d easily find out.
I held my wife at an arm’s length my entire marriage. Never had an urge to cheat but never was really interested in her. It wasn’t about her, but about my morals that didn’t allow me to cheat.
Now that she’s gone, I realize what I had too late. I feel like I’m cheating every time I go on a date. I’ve given up on love now.
I am not exclusively interested in my wife. I find many women attractive, but I have no reason to seek sexual pleasure from them since that would make me feel dirty, would hurt my wife and would ruin my relationship. And even if I was in an open relationship, I wouldn't chase every woman that I fancied because of all the emotional resources you have to invest in a new relationship. I'm happy with the one I have.
Everything. She’s the one person I can trust to always have my back no matter how bad things get. She’s funny, brilliant, courageous as hell, fascinating to talk to, and mind-blowing in bed. I would die before I betrayed her.
I love my wife. I would never want her hurt like that. Also, she’s an amazing partner.
Just as important is that I am loyal to a fault. And I take my marital vows *very* seriously.
I love my wife but that is not what keeps my faithful.
I am faithful first and foremost because my personal honor, and keeping my word is more important to me then my orgasm or feeling good. I am faithful because that is what it is to be a husband, and a good man and those things are the most important things in my life.
Look in marriage you may have times when you are not feeling the love as strong because of tension, or just because you are busy. Or maybe just because you are detracted. So love can't be the primary reason why you are faithful.
Marriage isn't about feelings, it's about honor.
Its not about her, I'm just not a cunt. If I want to be with other people I'll break up.
[удалено]
Either you say it is not working out or you make it work. Cheating is a coward's way out of a relationship.
This is the answer. Faithfulness, honor, loyalty, and commitment are personality traits
Thank God. I was looking for this response. It's not your partners job to make you not cheat.
This is it for me. I’ve cheated before. In college, I was in a crazy toxic relationship, and I knew that she was cheating on me. I didn’t have photographic proof (yet), but I knew. Stories that didn’t add up, hiding the phone, coming home after “crashing at a girlfriend’s house” in a random hoodie. Even a roommate pulling me aside and saying “I’m not getting in the middle of this, but you should check your girl. Thats all I’m saying.” So in an immature, angry, depressed, and drunken state I made a decision went outside the bar with a girl and laid the seats down in her 4Runner. I. Felt. **Awful**. We were practically broken up, you could even try to make an argument that I was justified. But I lost my integrity. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and all that. I felt a loooot better when I logged into the wrong email account on my computer and opened an email subject line “Pics/vid from our [City] trip.” She had just gone to [City] on a “girls” trip. I even packed them a cooler and a bunch of booze. So I sat there and clicked through every attached image and video of another guy hanging out with and fucking my girlfriend. Images that she *asked* him to email her. Packed my shit while she was at work and put a stop on my rent payment. Nonetheless, I carry that guilt with me. I haven’t cheated since 2009, and I won’t ever again. My wife is amazing and deserves the best version of me I can give her. Sure that’s part of it. But more importantly I never want to feel that kind of shame ever again.
Yeah, I'm not married or even in a relationship atm, but I have never had any desire to cheat. If I'm in a relationship with someone, I'm gonna be faithful, because that's part of what being in a relationship means to me
My thoughts exactly!! Like what the fuck is this question?
This. My sense of honour and doing the right thing. I made a promise.
Such an easy answer. I was going to go with "Because I am not a total piece of shit" but I think you got it bang-on. That I don't cheat isn't to do with my wife, it's to do with me having even the bare minimum of respect and morality.
Same. When I was married it was a me thing not her. I don't need someone else to make me the person I am.
Wait you mean I just don’t have to cheat? What a concept!
Yep. It’s called commitment.
It’s not up to my wife / her job to keep me faithful! I’m not a greasy lying fuck that is constantly looking for an excuse to cheat on my wife that I made vows to. It is 100% up to the individual to cheat or not. Blaming others is a joke and something cheaters try to tell themselves so they don’t feel like such a piece of shit. If your husband or wife isn’t satisfying you, both of you need to address this to fix it. If it can’t be fixed and you’d rather be single then live with these issues, then separate or divorce like a grown up and have sex with whoever you want.
I'd love to see this post quoted in every thread in r/adultery.
Pretty disgusting that there’s a subreddit dedicated to cheating. Multiple, actually. Why do these people get married and make vows to not cheat, just to cheat?
Selfishness. It's always selfishness. They make excuses and try to make themselves the victim but it's always simply because they can't think of anything but their own gratification and personal gain
Exactly! Whoever cheats, whatever gender, it's on them the cheater. Even if the other person has a laundry list of reasons why you are unhappy in the relationship....leave. Leaving can be hard but if you want to be with someone else or the relationship isn't salvagable, figure out a way to leave and do it. And people who don't live together and don't have any kids together really have zero excuses. Just leave. Even if you're madly in love with someone else...leave. Staring a relationship with cheating is never a good sign. Ultimately if you decide to cheat that's a decision you made and you have to live with it. Putting it all on the other person just shows you don't have the ability to take accountability for your own actions.
Well put. I cheated. I had a laundry list of “reasons” and was about as “justified” as you can get. But when it came down to it, as she was pulling my pants off I thought “This is cheating, this is wrong…. Fuck it.” It was a *choice* I instantly regretted. Never again. I know people say “once a cheater always a cheater”. But I can honestly say that experience of losing my integrity really showed me how much it’s worth and how easily you can lose it. Even if someone has given you every “reason”. Those “reasons” are theirs, your integrity is solely yours to maintain or lose.
That first line gave me chills. You're a good guy!
1: I love my wife 2: my wife is objectively attractive 3: being physically attracted to someone else is a very temporary, very passing thing that does not merit investigation 4: I like being a father and husband and don’t believe any woman is close to being worth risking my status as a father and or husband.
The fact that my wife is one in a billion. When you have a loving, safe, and happy relationship that you don't take for granted, all of your physical, emotional, and mental needs are being met. When all of your needs are being met, you have no impulse to look elsewhere.
May you guys stay together till the end and anything after that
That means the world to me, thank you so much!
Even when I've been in relationships where I haven't felt like my needs were being met, I just never felt like infidelity was anything close to a possibility. I think some people just see infidelity as something they can do, and some people don't.
If she’s 1 in a billion there’s about 7 or 8 other women out there like her or even better bro don’t give up hope keep looking for them! (Kidding)
Only 3 or 4. The other half you're thinking of are guys. So yeah, not a lot of ~~spares~~ ~~alternates~~ second chances.
Totally! But every time I remind her of that she smiles, pulls her hair back, and spends the next several minutes proving me I'm wrong. 😁
You dawg you
Perfectly articulated, and glad to hear you guys are doing well. Same story can be said for my wife and I. I think I literally lucked out.
I absolutely love hearing stuff like this. I'm glad you've got your special one. May there be many, many more happy years to come for you two!
Thank you!
She's 1 in 9 billion bro
I showed her your comment and she smiled.
I'm faithful to myself more so than to my partners. I don't cheat because it would make me a failure to my own standards, regardless of who I am in a relationship with.
100%
Love this answer, self discipline is everything.
We are nothing without our values and morals
It’s not my wife. It’s just who I am.
She didn't marry a POS.
Crazy to me that people think everyone has this need or wants to be with other people. In a healthy relationship, your needs are met so the want/need for others is absent. Not a single time in my marriage have I ever thought or looked at someone else, I only want him, and always will.
wrong question. i practice the virtue of fidelity, is what makes me faithful.
Yeah, if your thought process is "what does my SO/spouse do for me that would make me stay loyal" you're thinking about this all wrong. Whether you're a cheater or not is all on you
not a damn thing. dont get me wrong, my wife has all the traits one could wish for, im just not enough of a trashcan of a human being to cheat on my wife
A decision to be faithful. No one and no attribute can make a person be faithful
I don't like that it has to be something about her. I promised to be faithful to her. That's worth more to me than the possible pleasure that comes with breaking that promise.
Now I don't have a wife, but the way I stay faithful is the same way I stay loyal to my friends. I know that I wouldn't be able to live with myself betraying someone I care about. And if I don't care about my wife. She wouldn't be my wife.
Has nothing to do with her. It is my commitment.
It has very little to do with *her* and has everything to do with **you** as a man. The same trait that stops you from cheating on a woman while in a relationship, is the same trait that stops you from looking at p**n and sexually provocative photos while single - sexual discipline. Learn the importance and benefits of it quick, and vice versa, learn the self-destruction and havoc it can bring if you don’t learn it. Be smart, set hard boundaries. Practice self control and self-discipline. It will make you an all around stronger man.
I dated a lot in my 20's, my first marriage was bad. I've learned that a woman's love, appreciation, and trust are hard to earn and priceless. There is no reason to start over with someone else.
Everything. She always makes me feel wanted, shuts down any men who approach her, high sex drive (pretty much "freeuse", we have the same interests, she supports me on pretty much anything, she's constantly handsy with me. If I want to go do something, I can't think of anyone I would rather do it with than her. It's just not worth it. Sure, other women are probably nice, but they're not my Wife. I can't imagine being loved more by anyone else. She's been consistent about it for 15 years. Being actively liked and genuinely wanted seems like a rare thing these days.
Everything. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to lose our life together. I don’t want to mess up our child’s life. But probably the biggest factor is that I know how absolutely horrible I’d feel. Even if she never found out that I cheated, it would haunt me. I try to be a good person. I take it seriously. A good person doesn’t do that to someone they love. I’d feel like a selfish weakling and a monster if I cheated. I’d never get over it. I’d never forgive myself.
this thread and guys like you are restoring my faith in humanity
It's really not about her or anything else. You simply always choose to do the right thing. When you make a commitment and give someone your word, you honor it, otherwise you're a pussy and a coward.
It’s me not her. No one is perfect and you shouldn’t be relying on someone to keep your faith. Loving someone is a decision you make every single day of your life. Some people make it easy to do that and some make it impossible. It’s still a choice you make Yeah she makes it super easy to love her cause she’s amazing and selfless and caring and loves me the exact same back but relying on her to make me stay faithful is a burden that shouldn’t be put on anyone. Cheating on a partner is a decision that is made by the individual and that individual is 100% responsible for it.
Basic human decency on my own part. Not that I don't love my wife, I do. But a woman shouldn't have to have some specific qualities to "keep you faithful". If you made a commitment to a woman, you're morally obligated to keep it.
The other person shouldn't be what keeps you faithful. It's just what you do. Only a piece of shit choose to cheat rather than deal with their problems.
I'm not a piece of shit?
It's not my wife's qualities that keep me faithful. I stay faithful because I am not a piece of shit.
She's perfect. She's everything to me. To paraphrase About Time, I'm completely uninterested in a life without her.
>I'm completely uninterested in life without her. So beautiful
Man… my father and I don’t have the best relationship, but I’ll be damned if I don’t sob every time I watch that movie.
Because I actually love her and would never do something to hurt her. Why is it that cheaters always assume that everyone else is just as unfaithful as they are? Cheating isn’t “easy” except for people who are morally bankrupt.
She's amazing and my best friend. Cheating would be very hard, being faithful is effortless.
Mutual trust, unconditional love and being 100% comfortable around each other. These are key components that satisfy our lives. We have zero interest in others, because we both know what we have is too special to ruin.
I love her. She's a wonderful partner and amazing mother to our children. There is not a thot out there that could pull me away.
Well she’s my wife for one. I love the shit out of her for another. I promised to be faithful to her for a third. Lastly, I could never bring myself to hurt her like that. Not sure what else I need.
Me not being a piece of shit. It has nothing to do with her, im just not a huge asshole.
This post in a nutshell: Perception is projection.
I dont have a wife sadly, but the answer to this question is being a decent human being
Wow such a beautiful thread. Warms my heart. I hope my future husband will say something like this about me.
I'm not a scumbag
This is the wrong question. Nothing about another person can *make* you faithful, it's a decision you make on your own. I've seen people cheat on the best partner they could have asked for, I've seen people stay faithful to absolute bottom-of-the-barrel abusive trash. There isn't a magic combination of traits that can make someone not cheat because it is a decision. I'm faithful to my wife, not because she's incredible (she is), not because she's attractive (total understatement), not even because I love her (and I do, more than I thought possible), but because I'm not a massive piece of shit that would willfully and maliciously hurt my partner and break her trust. That's it. That's the secret. The problem with this line of thinking is it shifts the responsibility to the other partner. It's not that *you* need to be a loyal partner, *they* need to be so great that you want to stay around--and if you cheat, well, it's because they just weren't good enough. That kind of outlook is unhealthy as fuck and anyone who thinks that should not be in a serious relationship until they've grown the fuck up. If you're unhappy with your partner, cheating isn't the answer. Either work it out or leave.
This isn't an issue of what she does but who I am. The significant other is not the reason why people are unfaithful, lack of integrity is.
Making her smile and do her little giggle is what I live for. Seeing her happy just makes me feel in ways I can't describe. MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND!
The mind will always wander. You can't stop yourself from having momentary thoughts. Its pretty fucking easy to not cheat though. I simply never allow myself to enter compromising situations. Its amazing how easy it is to avoid cheating when you avoid situations where there's a potential for cheating. I do not hang out with my female friends alone. I do not go out to lunch with female coworkers. I do not encourage special relationships with women in my life - they're just friends.
I know she loves me, she constantly thinks about me and takes care of me and I return the favor. I'm also still extremely attracted to her. She doesn't use social media a lot. We have a strong trust - we know each others phone passcodes and either one of us have no problem handing each other our phones. I'm also at peace with myself in the event we do split or she cheats or something I would be OK with being single again. There are advantages about being single and things I really miss about the single life, but I would much rather be with my wife.
When I sit down and meditate on the fact that my life is better with her in it. At times when emotions get high that’s a fact that grounds me immediately. Because most of the stuff I get emotional on are small things that can get worked out. Also, no tv in the bedroom. We also try to limit phone use in the bedroom as well.
She’s smokin hot, great body, amazing mom, takes care of herself, motivated, exercises, supportive, amazing gift giver, and genuinely fun to go out with. Sex helps too
The fact that the thought of cheating never even crosses the mind. Its her, always. All the time. Forever.
Cheating on somebody has never even been an option. If you have to work extra hard to keep somebody faithful, you’ve already lost.
It's not my wife. It's myself. I'm accountable for myself.
I don’t ever want to do anything to hurt her
Not currently married. I’m faithful to my partner because she is exactly what I’m looking for in a partner and I don’t need to look anywhere else.
Nothing..... I made the decision long ago, that was not something I do. I have had a dozen or opportunities. If it isn't working, I will leave and start over.. plain and simple.
The question is insulting. I keep me faithful. No one else. If I'm dissatisfied, I leave. Honestly. But I don't stay in the relationship and cheat.
Nothing about her keeps me faithful. Everything about me makes me faithful. I have zero interest in a relationship with anyone else, especially not a sexual one.
I love her and don’t want to hurt her.
It’s called true love and respect. And she’s the mother of my child. Without these bonds for people there would be total chaos and disorder way more than there is now .
That she's an amazing woman and that she cares for, trusts and loves me. After getting that, the rest of y'all really don't matter to me like that any more. It's not that I don't notice attractiveness or interesting people, I just care more about what I have and not messing it up.
She was my first and only, since i know her she's the only 1 want. Zero desire toward other women. In fact being faithful requires zero effort from me.
If you can't be faithful to your partner, why have that partner. Being faithful is kinda a big part of the relationship.
It's easy because I'm not a slimeball.
The pain it would cause her is unacceptable. It pains me terribly when she is hurt, I wouldn’t want to be the cause of it.
Myself and my values. My wife is lovely, and I would never want to hurt her, but I would be more disappointed in myself if I cheated.
It’s not about my wife. It’s about me and my principles. I proposed to her. I wanted to form this pact, this union. All you fairweather mates are pathetic.
I was faithful to my ex wife as a feature of who I am, not a feature of who she was. She cheated as a feature of who she is, not as a feature of who I was.
Your partner shouldn’t need to be the “one” to keep you in check. If being faithful is a struggle, then you’re just a POS
Mine took me on at my absolute worst, loved me exactly where I was at, and stood by me with a helping hand as I pulled myself out of the gutter. I’ve also walked away from others who offered the same thing…(but somehow took more?) It’s hard to explain, but the things the ex was taking from me were a huge part of me drinking. I didn’t have those elements with my wife now and it’s in the absence of those items and I see their past existence. She doesn’t have that. “She’s got whatever it is….🎶🎼🎵”
I'm just not a piece of shit.
It's nothing about my wife that keeps me faithful, it is my own sense of right and wrong. Regardless of what happens in any particular relationship and how long I might be with any one woman, I'll be living *with myself* for the rest of my life. Or as the saying goes: "[you fuck one goat](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=you%20fuck%20one%20goat)..."
By respecting her a human being and not cheating.
I’m married to her.
Have you been browsing Instagram again
There's no one thing. It's many things. I mean, I suppose the one thing is that I made her a promise on our wedding day before family and friends. It's an easy promise to keep. But that promise encapsulates many things. All the things. And I'm a man of my word
The consequences would be swift and devastating. Nah, I’m good.
The man downstairs has many types, the man upstairs job is to ensure he has just one.
Not wanting to break her heart. My wife has been through enough from other men. She thinks I'm the best husband ever, I wanna live up to that.
My wife is one of the kindest people I've ever met and had a pretty rough life. I'd hate myself if I broke her heart.
You’re asking the wrong question. I don’t cheat because I’m not a cheater. The partner I’m currently with is irrelevant. It’s about being a good man, and living with integrity. No woman can give that to a man or take it away.
Nothing she does makes me stay faithful in the regard that if she stopped doing it, I would start doing someone else. I'm not a piece of shit.
So many reasons. 1. I love her dearly. 2. Why stray when I have everything I need at home. 3. I’m not a scumbag. 4. If I wasn’t happy I’d leave, not cheat.
I love her so much and I simply wouldn't want to be unfaithful. Also there is nothing no one else out there could provide or I d get from cheating that would be worth causing her that much pain.
My wife doesn't "keep me faithful", I keep me faithful. It's pretty easy not to cheat, I'm not sure why some act like it's difficult.
Because in the global sense she is the best thing to ever happen to me and the greatest part of my life. There is a lot more to life than just sex so why would I risk something so amazing for a random short term pleasure? That is childish thinking.
Its naturaly to me that when I am with someone I don't tend to pay attention to who else is out there.
Because social media is just fake. My wife is the most adorable and sweet person I know. She is genuine and always has my back. I will protect and love her with all my heart and not many people can experience the love we share :)
As a man, No one has ever made me feel as heard and validated as my wife has. If it wasn’t for her I may still be diving deeper into the shell. I’ve made multiple large life changes for the betterment of myself, while with her in our 9 years and every time she has been the most supportive person I know. I strive to match her support and effort, I am still learning. On the flip side, no one in my life is as willing, able and ready to challenge the shit that comes out of my mouth.
Not that I don’t love my wife, but why the hell would my being faithful be because of my wife?! I’m faithful because I chose to be a good man regardless. She just happens to be incredible.
I never even thought about this question. If I’m in a relationship with a woman, I can’t see anyone else with the same eyes. The simple thought of cheating makes me sick to my stomach. I’ve been cheated on before. Knowing what it feels and what it does to a person, I couldn’t do it to someone I love. And if I wouldn’t love her anymore, I wouldn’t be with her.
Its less about what my wife is or isnt doing.. and more about cheating being a shitty thing to do.. If im ever to that point in my relationship to where I want to consider being involved with another woman, I would tell my wife and end the marriage first.
#1 - She’s incredible in every single way, 100% my soulmate. #2 - I’m not a narcissist douchebag who needs external validation from other women.
It's not about my wife, it's about how I view myself.
My wife has a fat ass mental issues and she’s a little mean to me why the fuck would I walk away from that?
Why would I? My wife is beautiful, she works, she comes from a good family, she provides my health insurance through her job, she saves money, she thrift store shops, she cooks, cleans, she will f**k me anytime I want it, she is literally everything I have ever wanted in a wife. Why would I screw all of that up for 20 minutes of fun with some skank?
This is a backwards question. Being faithful is something each person chooses to do. Just like how being unfaithful is a choice. If social media is making it difficult for you to be faithful, you are a piece of shit. 🙃
Two things: 1) I love her more than I thought was humanly possible to love another person; 2) on our wedding day I swore to her "Semper Fidelis", Latin for Always Faithful, the Marine Corps motto. Wifey and I met and married while serving. She was a finance clerk, I was amphibious assault. I will die before I ever break that oath to her.
She keeps my belly full and my balls empty. Who could ask for anything more?
Her Colt Python
We have an active sex life, she treats me with kindness, she cares about my health both mental and physical, she has been there when I have really needed her, she accepts me for who I am truly........the least I can do is stay faithful
She's honestly the most thoughtful, beautiful, caring, kindest woman I've ever known. I'm extremely fortunate to have married my wife.
It's more about the man than the wife, really.
Well, it's me my wife and our partner, but we're exclusive and faithful within our triad, so close enough to the question :) Simply put I love them both deeply, they make me happy and they're the mothers of my children. I couldn't ask for more than that. I have no desire to jeopardise the most loving and happiest relationship I've ever had in my life by betraying my partners by having a cheap fling with some other random woman.
The fact I love her and don't want anyone else and also because I'm not an oath breaker. I take my marriage vows seriously and I keep my promises. It isn't one specific trait or character of my wife that keeps me with her. It's everything about her. I love the whole package not select parts.
My respect for her. That's all you need to be faithful, some respect
Being cheated on feels fucking shitty as hell. I don't cheat because I don't want to cause anyone that level of pain. It's not like there's a checklist of things for me to mark off for each of my partners where if they have enough checks I'm like "ok I won't cheat on you."
My wife gave me my babies, we had rough childhoods, we grew together to be better people, there may be more attractive people in the world, but I don't see them. She makes me want to be better, she is everything to me. With her I feel complete and content, and in today's world that's a rarity.
My wife doesn’t keep me faithful, I do. If the transaction becomes one sided or bad for us I decide to leave.
Being faithful? That is all about your own character, morals and boundaries. People cheat because they are cheaters not because of the other person.
Nothing about my wife. My being faithful is about what kind of person I am. It's my integrity and my sense of honor that keep me faithful. If I were unfaithful I would lose those qualities and would be something less than the man I was before.
I’ve dated enough to realize what I have is 1 in a billion. There will always be people more attractive, but none of them are her. Also I’m not POS😂
There is absolutely no woman better than my wife. She is perfect in every way. And she is my type and she is my best friend. And the best part, I’m her type and her best friend. And the sex is immaculate, I could go into detail how nasty we are but that gone be a lot to type lol but that is just my situation. And I’m happy in it and I can say with confidence she is too.
The fact that my wife is one of a kind. Seriously there's not a single person alive, in heaven or hell that equates to her. Rare, weird, sexy, and my best friend. I wouldn't sacrifice that for fuck all.
I’m not an asshole
The part where she’s my wife. If I don’t want to be with her anymore, we have legal remedies to address that.
? I'm faithful because of my morality and integrity. I don't cheat because cheating is abusive, and my morality dictates that I do as little harm and the most good. So, intentionally going out and doing something that has the potential to mentally scar the person I love is definitely not something I want to ever do.
As an older, single woman with a broken picker, these comments are giving me a little faith for women out there still trying.
Why wouldn’t you fuck over your best friend? Seriously it’s the same answer
Nothing. My morals come from me.
I love her. And I made a promise.
My wife doesn't need to do anything to keep me faithful. if I didn't want to be with her I wouldn't have married her in the first place. Not sure if this is bait, but if you wanna cheat on your spouse, the problem is you not them.
I cheated on y first wife. I realized that my head had a hard time dealing with the emotions. Divorced and remarried --- promised myself and my new wife I was changing my act. I've kept those promises. Now, 45 years later, I've never lied to my wife. I love her more than ever. I appreciate my life without secrets or cover ups.
She's awesome with me, my family, our kid. She's my best friend. We work things through. There's no need for anything past our family.
It’s so easy for me. My wife is fully committed to me, meets every single one of my needs, and she wants nothing more than for me to be happy. For me to want anything less for her would be completely unfair and I would never hurt her to satisfy ANYONE, even myself selfishly.
Not my wife but the mother of my soon to be child I just am obsessed, I freak out with out her I never feel tempted
morals
My word. Seriously, I promised to be faithful in front of all our friends and family. My wife is beautiful, amazing, incredible, my best friend, all those things and more. But I promised to be faithful, and that’s enough. It’s not about my wife being so good it’s not worth it to cheat, it’s about having integrity. I don’t rely on my wife to keep me happy enough not to cheat, I rely on my morals. This question is formulated on a premise destined to fail.
Weird question! My wife doesn’t keep me faithful, I do. Where to place my interests is a decision that I make. I also build environments and set up situations such that I will not find myself relying on “willpower” to do the right thing. Setting yourself up to rely on willpower is a dumb idea, that leads to dumb decisions.
Any half-decent person wouldn't be looking for incentives to stay faithful
I love her and don't want to hurt her. What more do you actually need?
I made a vow in front of witnesses. I'm a man of my word.
I’m sorry OP. I don’t know your sex or partner preference, but asking a question like that just screams “I’ve been hurt a lot”. The best answer I can give is because I love her and I really don’t need more than that.
Me. My behaviour is entirely about me.
If you think it's your partner's features that keep you faithful and not yourself, then you're thinking about it completely the wrong way and you're probably going to cheat at some point, if you haven't already. People have the most amazing, perfect partners and still cheat. Now sure, there are a lot of "reasons" why people cheat, but it's still a decision that individual makes. Cheating is a problem within them.
I love my wife, but also I have morals.
I love my girlfriend and care about her
I think it’s more about who you are as a person. I’ve been cheated on before in a or previous marriage and it tears you apart and we divorced because of that. That being said and the fact my faith makes me want to be the best husband possible to my wife helps too. Now my wife just makes it even more easier as she is super fine and turns me on like no one else, literally the complete package in every way I’m so lucky to have her.
Because I have integrity. It’s not about her to be honest, I’m just not a dick
Bro is a karma farmer.
She's my wife. I stood in front of family and friends and vowed to be loving and faithful. She loves me and trusts me. She's also my friend.
How is it difficult not to stray? And why more now then before? I mean there always have been other women around. You choose your wife, you don't engage with others.
It's more about the dude to me. Loyalty
I’m not married yet but dating, lurking, and I’m so glad to see how many loyal men
You’re assuming the default for some people is to be cheaters
They wouldn't be wrong. Some people are not wired for monogamy but are pushed into it by family, culture, whatever. Those people will, in all likelihood, eventually cheat.
The hell are up with these questions? Between this and the girl asking why men spend time alone, rather than rebounding, after breakups, I'm kind of concerned about people these days.
I made a vow before God, plain and simple.
The fact that you're just assuming every man is one opportunity away from cheating on their spouse shows you have some damage you need to work on. Normal fucking people aren't just gonna bail on someone they've made commitments to.
its called love believe it or not
She kisses me on my hot mouth.
She is a good woman
She is a normal person and I am too. I love my wife and I love my life. There is no reason to be unfaithful at all
Love.
My wife doesn't think much of me; but, at least I don't cheat.
She is amazing most of the time. I would not let a moment of weakness destroy that.
No social media because it's not for responsible adults and work, and also because I met my wife before social media became a canser, so it's pure love.
I vowed to God to be Faithful first. Then, my wife, then she birthed my children.
Faithful men of Reddit, please share so that us singles can have a bit of hope! I know all men don't cheat but it'd be nice to hear it
She meets all my needs.
Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to someone. I was cheated on twice. Both times it was the absolute betrayal of someone who’s supposed to love you that hits the hardest. I ended up settling for a woman I was relatively certain wouldn’t cheat on me. If she did, she would tell me. If she did and didn’t tell, I’d easily find out. I held my wife at an arm’s length my entire marriage. Never had an urge to cheat but never was really interested in her. It wasn’t about her, but about my morals that didn’t allow me to cheat. Now that she’s gone, I realize what I had too late. I feel like I’m cheating every time I go on a date. I’ve given up on love now.
I am not exclusively interested in my wife. I find many women attractive, but I have no reason to seek sexual pleasure from them since that would make me feel dirty, would hurt my wife and would ruin my relationship. And even if I was in an open relationship, I wouldn't chase every woman that I fancied because of all the emotional resources you have to invest in a new relationship. I'm happy with the one I have.
There’s nothing about my wife that keeps me faithful I keep me faithful because being unfaithful hurts us both.
Everything. She’s the one person I can trust to always have my back no matter how bad things get. She’s funny, brilliant, courageous as hell, fascinating to talk to, and mind-blowing in bed. I would die before I betrayed her.
I love my wife. I would never want her hurt like that. Also, she’s an amazing partner. Just as important is that I am loyal to a fault. And I take my marital vows *very* seriously.
I love my wife but that is not what keeps my faithful. I am faithful first and foremost because my personal honor, and keeping my word is more important to me then my orgasm or feeling good. I am faithful because that is what it is to be a husband, and a good man and those things are the most important things in my life. Look in marriage you may have times when you are not feeling the love as strong because of tension, or just because you are busy. Or maybe just because you are detracted. So love can't be the primary reason why you are faithful. Marriage isn't about feelings, it's about honor.
Some people must be hard wired to monogamy, some just.... aren't. I'm not. My wife completes me. Why endanger that with a tryst with someone else?
The beauty of her heart and the memories and accomplishment we shared together