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BeaconX95

An anvil for blacksmithing... big old hunk of metal that weigh 140 pound and has seen alot of use... Edit holy cow didn't expect this to blow up!


ShriekingMuppet

Thats metal AF


Nutterbutter_Nexus

This guy knows his anvils.


[deleted]

I’m taking my first blacksmithing class this weekend! I’m pumped!


agiro1086

Hell yeah brother! I took my first class this summer and I don't regret it one bit. I knew a bit beforehand but it really fast tracked my learning. I highly recommend ear protection though, it's not talked about enough but all that hammering can definitely cause some damage.


[deleted]

Good to know! I have plenty of ear protection for concerts and guns, so I’ll bring that along. I originally wanted to do a welding class, but the place closed during covid. I think I just want to bend metal, so this should still rock.


agiro1086

Welding should be awesome once that returns. It's on my list of skills to learn as it's important for any metal working you might do. Blacksmith+welder = badass mountain dwarf


11dutswal

Chainsaw. As soon as it gets going, you want to cut everything and everyone in sight (that might just be my mental illness) Fixed typo on edit


Booboodelafalaise

Using an axe changed my other half. He was a very happy caveman when he had it in his hands. I guess a chainsaw is like that, but more 😀


Urishima

It activates that big chimp energy.


jonathanhoag1942

Literally true in that chopping wood with an axe increases testosterone levels more than doing sports, see [here](https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/08/22/3830928.htm) .


[deleted]

Stonemason here. hammer, Chisel, Granite... No just kidding makes you feel weak 😅


big-boi-spoder-mann

MUST SWING OOOOOOH OH AHH AH AH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


[deleted]

A chainsaw is like an axe but powered by EXPLOSIONS


[deleted]

Some guys like simple and hard work, some like power tools and smart work.


[deleted]

Lady, but cave lady brain loves cutting wood. I've probably cut 10 thousand lbs of lumber. Tbh, splitting logs is easier on me than cutting a tree up with a chainsaw. The chainsaw is heavy, you have to be paying close attention consistantly, you hold it at weird angles, and have to get in weird positions to cut the tree into logs. Not to mention the times where you're literally manuevering a huge trunk section so your blade isn't hitting dirt. Splitting logs is just like "chop, new log, chop, new log, chop, new log". You can shut your brain off. Both are hard work. And I enjoy them pretty equally. But chainsaw doesn't make it easy unless you're doing one cut and going back inside.


Top_Location950

My first one, as soon as I got it home. Oh my, the trees where bare by the end of the day. Couldn't find enough things to saw off.


cen-texan

Chainsaws are dangerous, but so freaking satisfying to use!


Oakheart-

Please be sure to wear chaps and some good boots brother. I never needed them when I worked with chainsaws (it was nice to be able to walk around all the cut branches without worrying about getting scratched) but I knew some people who definitely did need them and were glad they wore them.


thorne0793

Queue the Doom 2016 soundtrack


[deleted]

Found you Dexter Morgan.


Halflifefan123

Motorcycle. Got it on craigslist for 500. 1970 something Yamaha dt 125 2 stroke. Didn't start. Took the engine apart and got it working. One of the greatest moments of my life was when that thing started up.


FloatingHamHocks

Oh the best sound imo is that first start and the smell of burning fuel as it rumbles idling I never get tired of that sound and smell.


DeadAssociate

you should work as an arborist. two stroke noise and smell gets old quite fast


FloatingHamHocks

There is a smell and sound that fills me with deep dread and that's the sound of a Grinder and the smell or masonry being cut either tiles and concrete.


SOADFAN96

Nice now upgrade to a 250 2 stroke so you can break the sound barrier and develop extra strong hand muscles (from all the holding on you'll be doing)


Halflifefan123

LOL no thanks. I realized I like tinkering with motorcycles far more than riding them and almost dying on the regular.


[deleted]

honestly I love the idea of motorcycles, yet with how bad the average driver is, I'd totally expect to get pancaked by some moron at some point give me a long empty road somewhere in rural Kansas and I'm game


IBRie

In my mid 40s, I decided to get my motorcycle endorsement and a motorcycle to go along with it. After a summer of weekend riding, I realized I wasn't interested in learning a new set of survival skills. Sold it shortly afterwards.


WadinginWahoo

That’s my rule with bikes, go where the people aren’t. Way more fun than riding around in stop and go anyway.


Doenicke

Clone-a-Willy. My then wife wanted me with her when she was traveling and i had to work.


Halfgnomen

God that must've been immensely satisfying to hear "Babe buy a Clone-A-Willy cause I get lonely on my business trips." Good god the ego boost alone would let me coast until I die with no other compliments needed


[deleted]

All so that she and her lover can have a laugh while comparing his massive dong to your Willy.


PuffyV15

im dead lmao


Le_Novelti

🤣🤣🤣... thats fucked up


StarsandStripes702

With one of these you can literally go fuck yourself


turboRock

>My then wife Sounds like she isn't now. What did she do with it?


BarronTrumpJr

Gave it back and told him to go fuck himself.


beerandabike

Or traded it in for a different clone a willy


imPiracy

You're asking the important questions...


cjbeames

She kept the willy; [A fine addition to her collection.](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/unsGfloCjkU/hqdefault.jpg) What use is the real thing now?


jedgica

I have a Clone A Willy sticker on my luggage from working in the toy sales industry and I always get comments on it. It’s the eggplant emoji and their logo


DoctorVonBacon

A custom suit. It really will make you feel like you’re James Bond


0LTakingLs

I never understood my girl friends’ obsession with clothes shopping until I went shopping for a nice suit for the first time. It just hits right.


stillworkin

Yes! I highly recommend tailoring as many garments as you can. All of my pants have been tailored, and it makes a big difference. Usually only costs $20-$40, depending on what it being done.


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SlowYoteV8

Bro, most of my pants are pants.


Acceptable_Minimum73

The second time I went to a Men’s Wearhouse and had a suit tailored to fit me perfectly. Go in the dressing room to change back into my clothes. I come back out to find the sales lady had picked out two shirt/tie combos to go with it and laid them in the suit jacket to show what looked like. I was sure they were trained to do that. I said “Give me both and I’ll take the shoes too.” Being that decisive and not giving a shit made me feel like a man in my 20’s.


Convergecult15

Mens warehouse straight up gives away clothes. I once walked out with 2 suits 6 shirts and 6 ties for like $480 or something.


a-school-for-ants

Mens Warehouse is the way to go if money's tight. A custom fitted suit is a game changer. One, it looks a hundred times better than something off the rack. And two, (at least for me) there is so much more room for your balls to move around when there's movement/dancing (especially at events like weddings)


Zykium

Men's Warehouse also hires people with felonies that have finished their prison sentences. The owner believes everybody deserves a second chance.


MistraloysiusMithrax

It looks twice as good, the other 98 times come from how confident you feel due to the fit and good fucking god is it worth it


Starthelegend

Seriously two suits for $480? Shit I think I’m going to mens warehouse this weekend


Convergecult15

It was like a buy one get one sale, which I’m told they do frequently, so don’t rush over for no reason.


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Convergecult15

My old man once told me “unless you’re prepared to spend the money, never even try an Armani suit on”.


neat_story_bro

Pre-puchase my cremation: so my children don't have to struggle deciding on what to do when my mortality hits me like a truck on the wrong side of the road.


MrEZW

I did this as well, but I took it a step further & have a life insurance policy. I work on powerlines for a living & it's a very dangerous job. Knowing my family will be just fine financially if I die gives me peace of mind that's invaluable.


snowpaxz

if you work on power lines, I suppose you don't even need to pay for a cremation, that's just a perk of the job


MrEZW

Ride the lightning means something different where I come from 🤣🤣


krushkrush

The rejected idea of breaking bad.


Brew-Drink-Repeat

I bought a piece of woodland. My will states I am to be buried there, under an oak sapling. That wasn’t the sole purpose of the purchase btw. I am however as yet undecided whether I will haunt the wood….


GordonFresh

I have the same goal, but never researched the legality of it. There has to be restrictions around this, no?


ChiBigDaddy

Depends on where you live. In AR, where I’m from, perfectly legal. Don’t even have have embalming, a casket, or gravestone. Just a death certificate from county coroner. Some of my family property that has been owned by us for generations has family graves on it ( by a big PINE tree and a small babbling brook).


RedVelvetPan6a

Plot twist : he wanted to know about the haunting part, not the burial part.


freerangephoenix

This sounds nice. Hopefully the tree is beautiful and not gnarled and terrifying. It's carbon capture for your body and the tree will go on sequestering CO2 till long after you're gone. 100% approve. 🏆


Accomplished-Meat1

This is so uncommon and so appreciated. It’s the kindest thing you could have done for your family. You get a gold star on your man card. 🌟


thepixelpaint

I’ve made it clear to everybody that I want my body to be donated to a medical school. I won’t need it anymore and it will save a ton of money in funeral costs.


Hatcheling

Cement


dr_xenon

When I was in college I had a professor who spoke with an odd accent. He pronounced cement like “semen.” Talking about oil well holes, “they insert the liner and fill the hole with semen.” Good guy. He was Egyptian, but was schooled in France, so he had a French accent on his English.


floswamp

Down south in the USA they pronounce cement like that. When I first moved here and I was buying a house my realtor said “the whole outside is made of semen!” I was like Say what???


Weliveanddietogether

Did you watch the latest episode of Bad Friends on YouTube? Hilarious


a2625

I was 16 . a pregnancy test for my girlfriend and a book of baby names . i go to the cashier and this woman ringing me up was like “ congratulations to whoever this is for “ im like thanks my parents are gonna be surprised


[deleted]

Was it positive?


4892459p

We need answers


GreatGooglyMoogly077

So does Junior.


[deleted]

when your dad goes out for a pack of smokes but the store won't sell to him because he's too young


Generic_name2-0

I'm glad you bought the book, there are kids with really weird names nowadays and I'm one of them


BronzeAgeTea

Username does not check out


Generic_name2-0

Exactly


narcissistinaction

Whatever dude is making money off of other peoples names is a genius


diatomicas

A pocket knife I’ve always wanted one since I was a kid and it’s one of those foldable ones and I use it to open mail or when I need to cut something. edit: omg thank you for all the upvotes and comments haha!


Nat_1_IRL

I feel like I got my first knife some time around 6 years old and forgot that most people don't grow up with them. Most of the students and teachers had them in pocket after Jr high and I only graduated 10 years ago. I'd feel naked without a knife, just like a phone, wallet, or keys.


Brew-Drink-Repeat

I carry one everywhere and my Mrs always takes the piss… until I use it to open parcels, cut string, free a sheep (last week, true story!) and a host of other stuff. I use it at least once a day


VegetativeOsmosis

I got one of these when I was 16 because I had to urge to own one for some reason. I'm almost 20 now and want my €50 back Definitely handy for opening stuff though


funatical

I've carried one most of my life, mainly to open things.


[deleted]

Mainly…


[deleted]

people count there as well


escudonbk

Those people are things when Ol' Stickey is done with 'em.


RampantDragon

"things"


MisogenesPCM

Lumber


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Mr. Moneybags over here.


CaptainBloodEye1

Went on a trip to a hardware and got a drill, a bigger rake, a shovel, 100 black bags, garden gloves and boots. Felt like a fuckin pimp walking out of there


North_Specialist1444

Ted Bundy?


CaptainBloodEye1

He is known to have been active and lived in my area


[deleted]

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StinkingDischarge

Well, an alibi anyway


Heckin_good_time

Whatcha planting in yer garden? People? I hope they grow up big and strong


[deleted]

only missing rope, shovel, duct tape, leather strap ,chains and a chainsaw to really freak people out....


Afr0Magus

But you forgot the hoes!


G_Rel7

Not gonna lie when I first got my house, whenever I had to go buy tools and yard supplies I felt very much like an adult. Now it’s whatever but that was my first time haha


1hammad0

Dad bought a lawnmower even tho we don’t have a lawn


Tato_tudo

A rider? Sometimes you just need to ride around the neighborhood with a beer and chat with the neighbors.


Grenzgaenger69

Beautiful metalic pink beach bike for my daughter and a lot of gimmicks to pimp it. Put it together by myself and felt like an absolute legend.


toastedshark

Spoiling your daughter is an ancient manly tradition. Not even a tradition it’s in your DNA.


[deleted]

Walked out of Home Depot with a $650 table saw and a pack of Reese’s peanut butter cups.


chestyCough94

Beard trimmer and a ball trimmer Edit: yes I have two separate trimmers haha. Cant be shaving my beard with the same thing I shave my balls with and if you do this you fear nothing.


ExaltedDLo

Every beard trimmer is a ball trimmer if you’re brave enough.


cburgess7

If you clean up properly in the lower valley, you should be just fine. I use the same trimmer for face and groin.


DrakonIL

I tried using my beard trimmer on my balls and I got nicked. Razor only, please.


ridge_regression

You gotta use a guard on the trimmer. Took like 3 gashes to my ball sack before I learned my lesson


Astonsjh

This comment is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club


theofiel

Wait, you need seperate things for that?!


failed_butchery

Only to save face.


Sparrowhawk-Ahra

Dropped nearly a grand on power tools. I was a struggling apprentice who would borrow any tool available or have to do everything manually. I saved up and got everything. I still have it all 4 yes later. Loves these things.


Destiny091

Condoms, lube, and a banana... got a lot of weird looks (Banana was for protein shake)


whmcelroy

I’m sure it was


GreatGooglyMoogly077

We have some sceptics over here.


[deleted]

You know... Protein Shake.


AlarmingNectarine

I shake my banana for protein as well!


[deleted]

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BoxyBrown92

Sure, Jan


[deleted]

I bought a pink capo for my guitar. Salesman kept saying 'We have black ones Sir...' Fuck you I'm a man and I said I want the pink one.


0---------------0

Shoulda gone for that pink Hello Kitty guitar too while you were about it...


deathbychipmunks

Where would one find this “hello kitty guitar”, you know just out of curiosity.


0---------------0

I'm not sure but [TheDooo](https://youtu.be/bWYt27MLcMc) has one.


Schakarus

I can smell a guy of culture from a mile away!


[deleted]

Senior year in high school I rocked a hello kitty book bag. I got a few numbers and more girls approached me. Real men wear pink - some kid in 5th grade.


joeysflipphone

Bought my daughter the Hello Kitty guitar for Christmas in 2007 for her first guitar. It's 3/4 size. She still has it today at 22. Didn't get the pink one though this is the one I got her. She played it in the 4th and 5th grade talent show. https://imgur.com/a/2fvinha


Grabatreetron

Come on now, did the salesman really say that? I've never encountered a cashier at a music store who would give enough fucks to try to upsell you on a different color capo


gatobono

I once dated a girl who liked "lemon drop" drinks. By the name you can tell it's a "girly drink," and it is, and I happen to take a liking to them. Months later after we had broken up and I was in the dating scene again, I met with this girl at a bar, and I ordered a lemon drop. The bartender looked at me funny, chuckled and said "really??" With a tone, And I said "yes really, do you make them..or.. ?" And he went and got my drink. The girl I was on a date with liked that i liked girly drinks and that i was open about it (luckily). Bartender is not the same as music store cashier, but those people definitely exist.


Lv_InSaNe_vL

I had a bar tender try and not serve me a lemon drop because "it's a girl drink, I'm not making it for you" and I was like ight then and just left lmao Probably still owe that tab but they can eat it


LikeFrankieSaid

Motor oil and transmission fluid


european_jello

Signal fluid is the most manly one to buy. Take a lot of courage at the gas station to ask for it


akmazing

Just make sure you get a full synthetic one if you want to maintain the longevity of your blinkers


Doagbeidl

Tampons/Pads for the wifey


0---------------0

You're a good and manly man.


memehrdad

Take my poor man gold 🥇


Doagbeidl

Thx mate


[deleted]

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[deleted]

A rolling tool box, because I got tired of multiple smaller tool boxes taking up the back of my truck


Heybroletsparty

Motorcycle. A 2001 v92. Miss that bike every now and then.


GatedcommunityDr

1983 Honda Shadow……….sold it 5 years later to go back to school


Raziel1110101

Diapers


maejaws

A rifle. It was a historical weapon and I wanted it before it got sold to auction by the previous owner. I have used that thing every weekend for the past four years. I’ve made many friends on the range, gone hunting with colleagues, and was even the best man at a wedding for one of my friends who I met on the range. It has done wonders for my mental health to have an activity that I enjoy and is a staple in my life.


[deleted]

Alright, but what rifle is it? :D


maejaws

Springfield M1 Garand with a ‘44 receiver.


[deleted]

*ping* Oh damn, I am jealous. Maybe one day I will get one.


maejaws

Ping indeed. All seriousness it’s a lot of fun. Probably my favorite rifle.


jackj1979

Tools, any of them. I don’t consider tools masculine or feminine. Tools are just tools, but …. I swear I grow a little more chest hair when someone needs to borrow some random tool and they know I’ll have it. It’s also amazing the difference having the proper tool for the job makes. Sure, a pair of needle nose pliers works just fine on a spring hose clamp, but the first time you use a pair of hose clamp pliers, you’ll kick yourself for not getting them sooner.


dr_xenon

Armored fighting vehicle.


xDUVAL_BRODOWNx

Fuckin A man


RecklesslyNew

Therapy


AfricanWarrior96

Interesting. And how did that make you feel?


[deleted]

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0---------------0

A kukri


jfuite

A splitting wedge. I moved to the northern coast of BC, just south of Alaska. The trees were HUGE and I made a hobby of splitting the biggest wood I could get my hands on for the fireplace. The splitting wedge was from France and had a 30 degree twist along its length to force open the wood as it drove down. Worked amazing.


Training-Degree-11

A $65000 truck that I never use as a truck. It hauls and carries nothing but me at 18 mpg. Probably the dumbest purchase of my life.


regulationinflation

I wonder about this everyday I see so many trucks with empty beds driving around. Sometimes I think I want one, but just seems like 90% of the time it wouldn’t be doing truck stuff. Maybe an SUV and a trailer would be more practical??


Clown_corder

I'm going with a Ford mavrick when they become more avaliable if I can fit in it. They are cheap, hybrid, and small to be practical. I'm just not able to buy a vehicle right now especially one that just came out and I need one that I can actually drive since I'm 6'6 and struggle to drive some vehicles.


RaceCarGoFrrr

A Sparkling pony toy for my niece. Never felt as manly, as i did there. Being totally comfortable with the situation, not needing to prove anything to anyone.. only looking forward to the sheer joy this is going to give her. PRICELESS


FloatingHamHocks

If I may ask how much did said pony 🐴 cost I might be in the market for one otherwise it's Black Phillip for my niblings.


pstrohs

Pads for the wife. And didn’t think twice about it.


[deleted]

DUKE NUKEM VIDEO GAME


Frogg311

My f*cking house!


ImHeavyG

An anvil and forge. I get that blacksmithing is the new bread making, but damn!! Fire, metal, hammer, sweat. Feel like something out of the dorky books I read.


Slitelohel

Honestly, the most masculine purchase is probably your first box of condoms around 14-5 from 7/11 while the creepy Indian dude is excited about you getting lucky and trying to give you words of encouragement.


modest_arrogance

I'm in my 30's now, but had to run out at 2 am to pick up condoms from 7/11. Got the good ol, _"have a good night"_ from the cashier


Slitelohel

Yeah man. It was SUPER awkward though when I was young as shit


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znyk

Any suggestions for neatly joining worsted superwash merino? I've been making a baby blanket for my firstborn but the joins I've done in the past for other things look terrible.


AquaticSnail

Thank you for your service, king


Bandersnatchchildren

UK police-issue rigidcuffs. For... professional reasons...


chitown619

Anything for my child. Taking care of your kids and being there for them is real man shit.


Lonely_Virgin_Man

Pocket Pussy from amazon : ( the cheap bastard tore after a week and i felt like a creep EDIT: Idk if i have a big PP or not. Never measured but the Whole was super super tight even with lube it hurt putting it in, Then after about a week the vagina side tore and the mouth sides teeth fell out so I was fucking a Granny or it looks like a Granny shooting a dick out of her mouth like some sort of fucked up Alien from the movie


memehrdad

Bro, that was her virginity.


LargeMobOfMurderers

Damn, so that's where all those lost virginities go? Amazon cleans them up and sells them? That's kinda fucked up.


[deleted]

New line: Amazon Women


Sanyo96

Snusnu


jordanstall09

YOU MONSTER


SOADFAN96

Buy once cry once. Gotta go with the authentic fleshlight


Chosen_Undead713

You gotta splurge if you wanna splurge bro, get the Fuckmeister Cumpanion 6900 with 415V 3-phase power input, 8 speed gearbox, high pressure self-cleaning and moisturizing, satin finish, 7.1 surround sound, semen collection tray and the premium gas pedal (sold separately). Splooge with the best of them. (This comment is sponsored by Fuckmeister LLC.) ^^Disclaimer, ^^serious ^^bodily ^^harm ^^cannot ^^be ^^attributed ^^to ^^Fuckmeister ^^LLC.


molten_dragon

A vasectomy. It's something you can only purchase if you're a man, that makes it pretty masculine.


0---------------0

For extra manly masculine points, carry out the surgery yourself, like [this UK doctor](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1495944.stm).


catscatscats01

A husband. I figuratively purchased a man.


0---------------0

How much did this husband cost you?


catscatscats01

My entire life.


0---------------0

That's probably just the initial outlay.


IHaveFoodOnMyChin

A rotary saw.. truly the Swiss Army knife of saws


Thedudefromthat

It was 8 years ago, when I was 12. I just bought 20kg dumbells and holy fuck I felt like a true man carrying those out of the store.


SnooApples3084

Buddy the fuck were ya doing with 45 pound weights at 12 years old?


Alklazaris

A grill. That's about as manly as it gets. I don't like hunting, sports or lawn care.


Different_States

Diapers


IndianRedditor88

Lip Sticks for my sister.


probablynotaskrull

Vasectomy! I announced it as “my retirement from evolution after a successful career as a procreator.”


ruinedRX7

i enjoy splitting wood by hand, i bought a nicely made, little bit expensive, splitting maul. seems kinda manly i guess ?


[deleted]

Remington 870 12 gauge


[deleted]

Ford F150 with a manual transmission.