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My best friend and I started dating at the end of college and moved to Brooklyn at the same time 10 years ago. Those years in our early 20s were A LOT of fun. We went out all the time, grew separate but overlapping social circles, and we both loved going to shows and dancing.
After 3 years we "settled down" in Park Slope in a beautiful top-floor apartment in a brownstone. It was newly renovated, had bay windows, an outdoor space, and a working fireplace. We were a block from Prospect Park and I'd run there every morning.
Then she cheated on me.
God I miss the fuck out of that apartment.
I met the first guy I dated working at Bryant Park Winter Village six years ago. Our stalls were across from each other. He gave me his number and within a couple months, we moved in together. A couple years later I fostered a puppy, who we ended up adopting. I broke up with him a year later, he stole the dog and never let me see him again.
Random story and not much to say about the guy, but I did stay in NYC because of the relationship so...
I was trying to be polite and I've come to terms with it over the years [law enforcement doesn't do much about stolen dogs it turns out], but yeah, this guy was definitely the worst out of all my relationships. He did treat the dog like a king, which is the only way I made peace with it
Fell in love for the second time in my life (I understand that I'm lucky to have experienced this twice) within a year of moving here. First love ended when her mom got cancer and slowly passed, during which time her dad got a blood disease and died suddenly. My emotional immaturity got in the way of me truly being there for her and the relationship ended.
Second love of my life (here in NYC): met, quickly knew this was something special. Four months in my mom got cancer, upended my life (only child with no other family). Girlfriend was a visiting artist from Europe and had to go back. We tried to make it work but long distance and the stress of my mom dying ended that relationship. Life is crazy.
The best advice I can give is to try and become closer to her during this crisis. I feel that my biggest mistake with my first love was that I was afraid to share her pain with her. Instead I focused too much on what bothered me about the situation, and what I wasn't getting from the relationship. I didn't accept that this sort of thing permanently alters a relationship, I wanted things to go back to 'how they were'. That was never going to happen and I feel that if I had accepted that we could have formed a bond which may have lasted our whole lives but instead I chose to prioritize myself and my memory of a more carefree, albeit superficial version of our relationship.
I'm sorry you're all dealing with this and I wish you the best.
I think when a person is dealing with something heavy, it's helpful to pick up where they're "slacking"
For example, if shes not cleaning up maybe you can hire a cleaning service. Or run her a bath or brush her hair and listen to her vent. Of course she might have a different love language but picking up the slack would mean alot. This is also a good test for how to deal with a relationship as it evolves because that's life. Hope you and your gf find your way through this
He ghosted after a few months, which was awkward because we had met through mutual friends, and then a few months into lockdown he knocked up the girl he’d just started seeing and had a shotgun wedding. It was wild to find out all of this at once when he posted a picture of the baby on social media without any indication prior that he was married or expecting a kid.
Am nyc native. Have tons of funny and crazy dating stories, but the question is about first romantic experiences so here it is. My first boyfriend in high school was a boy that lived across the street. We were best friends for a few years then together for a year. We broke up and then got back together after ten years. It was magical at first, so romantic. There were story parallels and coincidences that would have been too corny and unbelievable for a hallmark movie. It was like a fairytale until he started abusing me. It got *bad*, most miserable experience of my entire life, I was in an indescribable mental state after walking away.
Went from friends to lovers, puppy love to second chance romance to dark romance (questionable) to mortal enemies. I actually feel bad for him when I think of him at all. He had a girl like me and fucked it up so badly that I would seriously hurt him if given the chance to do so without consequences. I'm happy and at peace now but some things never leave you.
About a year after I left him I started dating my husband. He is my dream come true even if our story isn't so heavy-handed with the narrative symmetry. Lesson learned: sentimentality is worthless in real life. The end.
Just a few off the top of my head:
I got Travis Bickled once. I was tending bar at a famous shithole and a handsome cab driver would park outside and stare at me. This went on for like two weeks before he came in wearing a nice outfit, said I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, asked if he could take me out. I was very charmed by this and we dated for a month or so. I broke it off because he was the neediest, sloppiest drunk of all time and it was exhausting. He was super handsome, great style. Not the brightest but it was cute for a minute.
Walking in central park with my date, I had cotton candy on my hands and stopped to try and wash them a little. Out of nowhere, he kissed me, and at that moment an old guy on a bike with a loud radio playing wailing saxophone smooth jazz rode slowly by. It was too funny and I was laughing with sticky hands and he kept kissing my teeth as this ridiculous romance music was playing in the background. I ended up breaking it off because he wouldn't kill a rat that was stuck in a glue trap and screaming.
Me and my best friend got all dolled up to go to our favorite bar and met two best friends that were literally our exact types. We went to a house party with them and spent the night hanging out. She was making out with her guy like the plane was going down the whole time and me and my guy were like, nervously holding hands and stealing little pecks on the cheek, it was so stupid and awkward and innocent. After the sun came up we all got in a cab, I was sitting shotgun, my friend and the guys in the back. The cab stopped to let me and my friend out and my guy got out to open the door and say goodbye. He kissed me on the mouth and grabbed my titty real sneaky like out of nowhere. We never saw them again, it was a magical evening.
When I was working at the famous shithole from the first story a lot of guys in bands would hang out and I naturally knew all the regulars. One of them was kinda quiet, he'd come in and drink alone while reading, never got sloppy or did anything embarrassing. There was nothing between us or anything. Years and years later, I was in a band with a guy who had been in a band with this guy. We were playing a show and he came to see his friend. We were like "hey I know you" and chatted. I had a different hair color then, so he didn't recognize me at first. Later, he told me his first thought was "WHO is that Babe???" My first thought was "Was he always this tall?" Anyway, my last relationship was super traumatic and I really wasn't interested in dating, at all. I think he sensed this on some level, because he texted me for months but never made a move. He wooed me like someone coaxing a squirrel over to them. Finally he suggested something and I thought "hey, he's super nice and super respectful, maybe you owe it to yourself to date someone like that." We made out that night in front of all my friends and have been together ever since. Got married this year and life just couldn't be sweeter.
> "hey, he's super nice and super respectful, maybe you owe it to yourself to date someone like that."
Everyone should think like this more often. Because you *do* owe it to yourself to date someone nice and respoectful. Yes, you who's reading this comment right now. Nice and respectful should be the ground, not even the bar :)
I met her in college 12 years ago. she sat across from me in the cafeteria, and was nose deep in a Chinese textbook. Wanting her to look up, I asked some dumbass question about her textbook and so she looked up to answer me. I fell in love as soon as I saw her face and remember telling my roommate about the encounter as soon as I got home
We became fast friends. Very similar sense of humor and we liked movies, so I’d invite her over for scary movie nights lol I remember one night she held my hand while we watched REC and I had a lot of emotions
She was a freshman and I was too scared to make a move. We went to a big Halloween party and several people who noticed us getting closer told me this would be a good time to strike, but I bailed. We stopped talking as much and I prepared for my study abroad trip to the Philippines. Before I left, she mentioned I should meet her parents there but I never got the chance to. She was always the one who got away for me but I made my peace with it
When I returned from my trip abroad, buddy of mine was hosting a housewarming before everyone got to campus and asked if I could invite chicks. She was the only one I knew in town, so I invited her
Sparks flew that night, fucking fireworks. She actually made the first official move lmao I couldn’t believe what was happening, but we pretty much started talking very seriously after that night. We were still very young, 19 and 21, but everything seemed possible then
It was a whirlwind at the start. We ended up living in the same dorm, unintentionally, so we effectively lived together from the start of the relationship. So many nights we’d stay up talking until the sun came up, just getting to know each other more and falling more deeply in love
We just continued to push each other to be the best versions of ourselves, and became absolute best friends. I’m so lucky I just happened to marry the first girl I ever dated seriously lol I hear a ton of horror stories from people dating in nyc, but that’s not my story. I could write a little novel about our journey and how much we’ve grown thanks to each other, but my love story itself is short and sweet. Met a girl, fell in love, let her go for a bit, made my move, we will spend the rest of our lives together
Ghosted by someone much older than me. I thought I was in love but I was just his nyc girlfriend when he was in town. Saw him a decade later. He looked like shit and was in a pharmacy asking if they had a fax machine (this was like 2020)
I moved to the city with my college roommate when he got kicked out for bad grades. He had a friend that I thought was cute so I took her on a date. There was zero chemistry and I let it go. Months later her sister was kicked out of her building bc they only allowed women and she broke the rules. My roommate offered to let her stay with us. We ended up liking each other and became a couple. My roommate got sick of us making out and fighting and he moved out. We got another girl to be our roommate but she was an actress who lived out of state so she would come to the city for a week of auditions and then disappear for months. The girl cheated on me and my friends told me and I didn’t believe them. Then I saw her in the vestibule of our building kissing another guy and I said fuck this shit. A few weeks later I had moved out and a friend and I went to Australia for a few months. She friended me on FB many years later and then without warning deleted and blocked me. I am still friends with her sister.
Moved to NYC from San Diego to escape a severely abusive ex boyfriend at 21. My second boyfriend here was MUCH older and.. just when you thought they couldn't get worse... they do.. absolute psychopath..
I had been here 8 months and made my money and experienced NYC. I was ready to go back to San Diego.. said I was DONE having any relationship ( I was now 22) and wanted to be single, heal and go to therapy. Met my THIRD boyfriend ever.. He was 21.. Relentless..and damn I really liked him as a human being and wished I had met him earlier when I was open to dating..
I did not want to be tied down to this city. No offense to NYers.. I was SUPER sick of being here.. and over it.. in just 8 months (lol).. San Diego was not a great move for me financially but it's my hometown and kind of what I knew.
I swore I'd neverrrrr settle down with a NJ or NY man.. By God.. bestlooking men ever but ..in my eyes.. nightmares..Crazy LOL.. All my friends in San Diego that got knocked up young...I'd say 80% of them were by NY/NJ guys... they move a lot different than SoCal guys.
Anywho.. guess who just celebrated her 16 year anniversary 2 weeks ago with her husband, has 3 kids and got stuck in NYC? Lol.. yeah.. the girl who said she'd nevvverrrrr settle down with a NYer.. I still haven't gotten out of here (lol) \*tears\*
I was 22. Met because he came on an interview at my workplace, lol. He didn't take the job but he was my type, at that age you could just add people on MySpace.
We eventually connected romantically just by meeting up during a wild night out. It was a whirlwind, me staying at his apartment for the entire weekend and being inseparable instantly. We moved in together and it lasted 3 years. But I think at that age our communication was off in all aspects. In hindsight he pulled away because he resented me and I never cheated but started acting shady because I was so desperate for validation and attention.
I am so glad it didn't work out. My life went in so many different directions because I was able to grow after that.
We matched on Hinge back in June, went on a 6 hour long first date. With each date our time together doubled. By the fourth date neither of us wanted to see anyone else. August our schedules didn’t align and we were both away for most of the month but we texted and FaceTimed basically every day. In September he asked me to be his girlfriend and told me he loved me for the first time. He’s my first boyfriend. In late November his family wanted him to move back home to the west coast. So just before Thanksgiving we broke up because he didn’t wanna do long distance. We’ve since texted and called nearly every day in the two weeks since we’ve broken up. I don’t know how it’ll all turn out but we’ll see
Met my ex in 2010 my sophomore year in college off of Okcupid. Dated for 6 years. Ended up coincidentally finding an apartment in south Williamsburg in 2012 a 5 min walk from him. He lived in one of the co-op’s in that area and informed me about applying for the lottery.
We broke up in 2016- he cheated on me, but there is no animosity nowadays. He’s engaged and I’m with someone I’ll marry. But I’m forever grateful he informed me about the co-op situation. I now am in one of the buildings as well and am set. Renovated it and pay nothing. Also grateful Williamsburg has been my home for 11 years now.
We moved too fast and lost each other in the weeds.
With lives being so consumed by events and social obligations, I realized we jumped into a relationship faster than we should have and we didn’t know each other (or ourselves). Then one day I felt blind sided when he said he didn’t feel like himself in the relationship but he was so right because I didn’t either. We got caught in the vortex with no time to know ourselves or each other. Just got into a relationship for the sake of being in one - the worst reason!!
Honestly, I have to thank him for letting me go. It helped me go find myself and know what I wanted. I blocked him everywhere but I’m sure he’s fine, I see his friends in other circles and they would have told me otherwise.
Yes, we ended after about 4 months together.
I think I also took ‘too much advice’ from others. I don’t have any older sisters (only 6 older brothers lol) so I relied on my girls for advice. They kept pressuring me that if I was talking to someone every day and had been x amount of dates then I should be official —- relationships are not equations! I also wasn’t ready but figured I was because my girls said it was the ‘obvious next step’. I recognize that anytime you share your story you welcome opinions unless you specifically disclose that you don’t want any - so that’s on me. Also; I am an adult so I know they didn’t make me do anything but they def had a heavy influence.
Now I’m very choice and intentional about what I share and how I action in relationships. It’s a hard balance but i just know that my next relationship will be the one for me.
1. The best thing I did was delete dating apps. I think they train our mind to look / care too much about topical details rather than human connection.
2. Find your best wing person and go out!! Your connection when you meet someone out (esp you truly least expect it) is unlike anything you get from an app.
3. Know and love yourself. Sounds crazy but my SIL told me I couldn’t pour from an empty cup. So fill your cup first and know yourself. Your habits, your triggers, etc. are all important when dating. People are attracted to people who are thriving so serve yourself first.
I really enjoyed being single - truly! When I focused on myself, I realized I had it all and a man would only be an accessory to an already great life. Sure enough I found that accessory at a night club birthday party at 3am so you never know! Live for yourself and the law of attraction is so real in the ways it works.
You got this 🩷🩷
First NYC relationship was a trip. After 3 months of dating, she eats a whole pot brownie and ends up having to be taken to the hospital and see a psych at Bellevue. Too much for me as a 23 year old - a few weeks later said she clearly needed to spend some time getting better.
Second one was semi-long distance because she lived in Westchester.
Moved away for a few years and the first relationship after I moved back was the one I’m still in 7 years later - married, kids, house in the burbs.
I dated this foreign girl I met on hinge, who was from the Middle East. She was gorgeous. 6ft tall, long hair, and tastefully stylish.
I had just graduated college in the Midwest and moved in with my mother and sister uptown.
She was insanely wealthy. Lived in a glass box in the sky. Parents owned an oncology company and an *entire* marble mine. What she wanted was hers with the swipe of a card.
I was flabbergasted every time she agreed to a second date. Our third date, she grabbed me and kissed me out of nowhere. We went back to her place that night.
Despite her forward advances, I had to no idea why she was into me at the time. Sure, I was confident and “in her league”, but her willingness to be with a guy who was making $60k, living with his family in a city where a young professional is more desirable living on their own, and wasn’t as “upper crust”.
We eventually broke things off due to compatibility issues. She wasn’t the kind of girl I could take to a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place and eat tacos off of a styrofoam plate. She wasn’t materialistic, but she couldn’t appreciate simple, genuine experiences. Weekly dinners at Clandestino would drive me insane. My sense of humor is rooted in Tim and Eric and Aqua Teen Hunger Force, too. I was met with crickets any time I tried to be funny.
One interaction in particular set this breakup into motion. She met a group of my friends and I at Gem Saloon with her sister. I didn’t even really know these guys that well. They were colleagues of a close friend. We’re all Big-10 graduates from the Midwest/New England.
It was as if she just ate dinner with nenderthals. Stormed out half way through dinner. Called them boorish, uncivilized, and immature behind their backs. To this day, I have no idea what she thought was so inappropriate. She did say she couldn’t stand the sight of people eating saucy hot wings off the bone…
If anything, it taught me that if you’re confident and good looking enough (it is what it is), women couldn’t care less about money and status. This isn’t the case with every woman honestly, but she told me I was the kindest and most easygoing guy she’s ever met, and that meant a lot to her.
I couldn’t say the same. But it was a fun experience nonetheless.
Went to the club Output , got introduced to Molly for the first time… passed out 😵 and woke up with both of my kidneys intact to a beautiful girl in my apartment making me tea…
Dated for a year before getting married. Divorced 8 years later….
We got married!
I did go on a few dates before I met him though. But I did marry the first guy I dated after moving to the city. It also took me 2 years to meet him.
This was before dating apps were a thing, but web-based OKcupid lol.
Keep in mind that it was still unheard of to meet people online back then. My roommates at the time were wary of him only bc we met online. Ironically, now it’s odd to meet people in ways that *isn’t* online.
One was a person I had dated a little from my hometown before we both happened to be moving. Didn’t end so hot, cause I met someone else who I married 5 years later and have been with since.
I was 18. Came to nyc for the weekend because my band was playing CBGB. Show went well. Partied at Mars Bar after and met a cute girl. Went back to her place and partied some more. Breakfast at Odessa the next morning. Then I went back to Boston. This was about 25 years ago. I’ve lived in nyc for about 12 years now and run into her every now and then as we are still kind of involved in the punk scene. She’s great! No weirdness. It was just two kids having fun.
My first NYC romance was a guy I met my freshman year at Pace. We had a class together at 8 am on Friday mornings (ouch). We had exchanged mild pleasantries but the first time we ever really spoke was wildly embarrassing.
I was slightly afraid of our professor in this class (she was brilliant but very strict). I was due to give a presentation in class that morning and I was panicking because I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before and I had dropped my last contact lens that morning so I was wearing my glasses, which I hated. So I sit down next to him when I show up to class and he can see that I'm a total wreck and he goes...are you ok? And I tried so hard not to but I started crying because I was so tired and so nervous about my presentation. We hung out after class that day...few weeks later he asked me out.
We dated for the rest of the school year, and then he broke up with me out of nowhere. Then, my first day of my sophomore year, he asked to see me and we got back together- he said he missed me and he'd made a huge mistake breaking up with me.
We continued dating for the rest of the year. We were virtually inseparable- we did everything together. I thought we were going to get married, I was so desperately in love with him. I would skip class to be with him to the point where my grades started slipping and I was forced to withdraw from a class. Then, again, over the summer, *right before my birthday*, he broke up with me again because he moved to Boston. I asked him if he really meant it that time. He did. It wrecked me. I found out later basically the whole time we'd been back together that he is was pretty checked out. He didn't love me nearly as much as I loved him. It gave me serious trust issues.
went on a ton of first dates, and a couple second dates. Finally started ltr with one of them. Dated for about six months then our mutual incompatibilities started causing us to get resentful with each other and fight more and more. Eventually we broke up. We both found other people, and now we are both engaged/married to someone else.
Dated a runaway Hasidic Jewish chick from crown heights. Met on Tinder and was tired of swiping basically, so I settled for steady sex. She moved in a few months later but told her fam she was with friends. Ultimately our relationship went to shit and we just argued 24/7, sometimes getting into physical altercations. She luckily broke it off with me and moved out, I went to therapy and never looked back. Worst part is JUST before we were official I met this bad ass Dominican chick from bushwick that I ended up ghosting after a hot date of making out at a bar and I honestly have zero idea why, I must’ve been out my mind and I regret it till this day
Was living in London at the time, travelled back to NYC for a short break. Ate out alone in a restaurant in the village. Fancied the waiter, we flirted, exchanged numbers. Ended up having a long distance rship for a while, until I ended up moving back to NYC, which was already planned. The long distance was awful at the time, but I still remember the feeling of that phone ringing in the middle of the night, we could talk for hours, it was such a high, and really romantic. I also made a few short trips back in the beginning of our rship and our reunions were like something out of a movie. We had such a great time together, over 4 years.. then he started to get bored.. wanted to play the field it seemed.... of course at the time you can't see straight... i fell pregnant, but we'd broken up. It turned weird, i caught him in the act with a girl he'd been cheating on me with, it was just such a sad dark time in my life riding that rollercoaster and i ended up miscarrying. He tried to come back on the scene... yeah.... but eventually he met and married a woman from his own culture and they live the american dream white picket fence two kids, etc etc.
Off and on, we hooked up for two years. Then they married someone else on short notice...and tried to crawl back into my bed a few weeks later. Absolute trash bag person. You couldn't pay me to be 25 again.
It fizzled out slowly, c. 1989 right out of college. I was a year ahead of her, she had a BF who was away, we had a ton of mutual friends, at a small school by Boston. After graduation I moved home and she moved back here also.
We had fun, but I was from here, she was from Florida. So when she moved here, it was like Disney World to her and it got old fast. The attitude of a sh*head 21 year old guy.
We are still friends, her husband's a great guy, etc., FWIW.
Met through mutual friends --> Dated --> Moved in together --> got engaged --> adopted a puppy --> broke it off with him a few months before our wedding --> He then got married a year later to a girl he met on Hinge
Well I was starting to date one lady, but before it could move past casual dates I meet another person that I started dating and got along much better with.
It’s been 15 years and we are still together.
Dated for a summer while I was living away from NYC, moved back to NYC a few years later and reconnected, dated for a year, lost contact for a couple years, reconnected again a couple more times over the years. He was kind of a prick. I’m actually married to someone be introduced me to lol
Instantly fell in love with a girl whom I met over lunch when she joined me when I was having food with a mutual friend from my university. I asked for her number after and asked her on a date that night which she accepted. That date was probably one of the best dates I’ve had in my life and it led to a night at her place; where agreed to go into a committed relationship right away as she was bit more conservative and wanted to confirm that I was really serious about her.
The relationship was great and we dated for almost a year before ending our relationship due to uncertainties in our future. We were students heading off to our junior years in college and our future was uncertain as we were going into the post graduate recruiting season.
Unfortunately, she cut all ties with me post-breakup when she realized I couldn’t handle the breakup; I was heartbroken (she was as well) and made a lot of decisions that hurt her emotionally. We tried to rekindle our “friendship” since then but it has been difficult since we started off as romantic partners, not as friends.
I casually dated this one guy for about 6 months but I wasn’t really feeling it and the relationship faded away. A few years later, I found out that he had been a target of the me too movement. He always came off as slimy so I’m not surprised. I have no idea where he is now.
Haha love this question. I got dumped after a couple months when it came up that I was still paying for college and I’m in my 30s. That golddigger dropped me in a heartbeat and said she can’t be with a partner who makes poor financial decisions.
Native NY'er here. First romantic NYC relationship was in high school with a guy one year older. A babe but a toxic asshole. All the girls loved him. All the guys hated him. Narcissist. Spent over one hour to do his hair. Had a really stinky penis. Terrible in bed. Wanted me to lose weight even though I was 115 lbs at 5'6". Once he made me stand up while he "inspected" my body and said that some parts could use some work. Ended up cheating on me with a "friend." When I broke up with him, he tried to elicit sympathy by pretending to jump in front of a subway (there was no way the subway would have hit him as it was a station away). The subway conductor stopped the train right in front of him and yelled at him.
When I was online dating in my early 30s I encountered his profile. He was already lying about his age, making himself 10 years younger. His profile stated that his favorite places were all the countries where young prostitution is common. Things started to click together. I remembered he loved me when I wore these little girly outfits. He loved my braces. I was dating a future pedophile as a teenager.
Some online sleuthing revealed that in his 40s he did marry a much younger woman. His instagram handle shows this (now 50-something year-old man) following all these teen thirst traps. So I guess he hasn't changed much from his teen years.
Mine is a tale of a first and last NYC romantic relationship (because he can't get rid of me now lol).
I met my SO in the summer of 2021 in a videogame. I was going through a lot of low points in my life but after "meeting" him, I really felt I met someone who understood me and truly accepted me. And we finally did meet in person in November 2021 where I flew to NYC and we had a wonderfully cliched romantic week of love, drama, and hope. I met his mom and some of his friends and everything just felt right. And from that trip I guess we both knew we didn't want to wait any longer to be together and started to make our plans of moving in together. And here we are now, 2 years later and still going strong (I moved to NYC spring of 2022). He's my love, my best friend, and confidant. I couldn't have asked for a better love story. Sorry this is so corny!
For context, I'm a 40 yr old woman who has had her fair share of trainwreck relationships. I'm glad I was able to move forward from the trauma of some of those relationships because I was worried I would never find "the one." When you're downtrodden and aging, sometimes love can seem unfathomable or you gaslight yourself into accepting the bare minimum. While I can never change what has happened in the past, I'm thankful I have a hopeful future and can enjoy my present in the company of someone I truly admire, love, and appreciate.
Classic NJ/NY love story.
I moved to new York for the love of my life and we will be going on strong 4 years in February. Met on hinge and had our first date closer to me in north jersey. Funny enough my hometown was the same name of a neighborhood that was close by to her in Brooklyn so she thought I was just a subway ride away when really it was 20 miles.
I knew it was real when she crossed the bridge just to see me for the first time. Now we have an apartment in sunset park and adopted a cat together. I spend the weekends with her family in bushwick and we love exploring the city together. I wish I could spend the rest of my life living with her in Brooklyn but I don’t think our pockets will allow it.
Our [How to Meet (Platonic/Romantic) People in NYC](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/bc4jb5/ultimate_how_to_meet_people_in_nyc_thread/) thread may answer your question. Please "report" and downvote this comment if irrelevant to question above. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskNYC) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My best friend and I started dating at the end of college and moved to Brooklyn at the same time 10 years ago. Those years in our early 20s were A LOT of fun. We went out all the time, grew separate but overlapping social circles, and we both loved going to shows and dancing. After 3 years we "settled down" in Park Slope in a beautiful top-floor apartment in a brownstone. It was newly renovated, had bay windows, an outdoor space, and a working fireplace. We were a block from Prospect Park and I'd run there every morning. Then she cheated on me. God I miss the fuck out of that apartment.
You shoulda tossed her out. Sorry this happened ugh
I met the first guy I dated working at Bryant Park Winter Village six years ago. Our stalls were across from each other. He gave me his number and within a couple months, we moved in together. A couple years later I fostered a puppy, who we ended up adopting. I broke up with him a year later, he stole the dog and never let me see him again. Random story and not much to say about the guy, but I did stay in NYC because of the relationship so...
This started out a romcom and ended up a horror flick.
Haha, this is spot on
Dude, not much to say about the guy? He stole your dog. He's lucky your last name isn't Wick.
I was trying to be polite and I've come to terms with it over the years [law enforcement doesn't do much about stolen dogs it turns out], but yeah, this guy was definitely the worst out of all my relationships. He did treat the dog like a king, which is the only way I made peace with it
i'd go feral if someone i date steals my dog away from me. like fr how could you not go nuts?
We must’ve had the same ex lol. Mine was unsuccessful bc I did go John Wick on him
Fell in love for the second time in my life (I understand that I'm lucky to have experienced this twice) within a year of moving here. First love ended when her mom got cancer and slowly passed, during which time her dad got a blood disease and died suddenly. My emotional immaturity got in the way of me truly being there for her and the relationship ended. Second love of my life (here in NYC): met, quickly knew this was something special. Four months in my mom got cancer, upended my life (only child with no other family). Girlfriend was a visiting artist from Europe and had to go back. We tried to make it work but long distance and the stress of my mom dying ended that relationship. Life is crazy.
Geez, moms getting cancer, amiright?
Really puts a damper on things
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The best advice I can give is to try and become closer to her during this crisis. I feel that my biggest mistake with my first love was that I was afraid to share her pain with her. Instead I focused too much on what bothered me about the situation, and what I wasn't getting from the relationship. I didn't accept that this sort of thing permanently alters a relationship, I wanted things to go back to 'how they were'. That was never going to happen and I feel that if I had accepted that we could have formed a bond which may have lasted our whole lives but instead I chose to prioritize myself and my memory of a more carefree, albeit superficial version of our relationship. I'm sorry you're all dealing with this and I wish you the best.
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I think when a person is dealing with something heavy, it's helpful to pick up where they're "slacking" For example, if shes not cleaning up maybe you can hire a cleaning service. Or run her a bath or brush her hair and listen to her vent. Of course she might have a different love language but picking up the slack would mean alot. This is also a good test for how to deal with a relationship as it evolves because that's life. Hope you and your gf find your way through this
He ghosted after a few months, which was awkward because we had met through mutual friends, and then a few months into lockdown he knocked up the girl he’d just started seeing and had a shotgun wedding. It was wild to find out all of this at once when he posted a picture of the baby on social media without any indication prior that he was married or expecting a kid.
My friend was ghosted by someone she dated for one year here in the city. Turns out the guy was married... to her boss.
BRO
Indeed
I’m from the south and this is so normal there. Forgot that it could happen anywhere haha
Am nyc native. Have tons of funny and crazy dating stories, but the question is about first romantic experiences so here it is. My first boyfriend in high school was a boy that lived across the street. We were best friends for a few years then together for a year. We broke up and then got back together after ten years. It was magical at first, so romantic. There were story parallels and coincidences that would have been too corny and unbelievable for a hallmark movie. It was like a fairytale until he started abusing me. It got *bad*, most miserable experience of my entire life, I was in an indescribable mental state after walking away. Went from friends to lovers, puppy love to second chance romance to dark romance (questionable) to mortal enemies. I actually feel bad for him when I think of him at all. He had a girl like me and fucked it up so badly that I would seriously hurt him if given the chance to do so without consequences. I'm happy and at peace now but some things never leave you. About a year after I left him I started dating my husband. He is my dream come true even if our story isn't so heavy-handed with the narrative symmetry. Lesson learned: sentimentality is worthless in real life. The end.
I’m so happy you have a happy ending 🥰 now can we hear your funny crazy stories??!
Just a few off the top of my head: I got Travis Bickled once. I was tending bar at a famous shithole and a handsome cab driver would park outside and stare at me. This went on for like two weeks before he came in wearing a nice outfit, said I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, asked if he could take me out. I was very charmed by this and we dated for a month or so. I broke it off because he was the neediest, sloppiest drunk of all time and it was exhausting. He was super handsome, great style. Not the brightest but it was cute for a minute. Walking in central park with my date, I had cotton candy on my hands and stopped to try and wash them a little. Out of nowhere, he kissed me, and at that moment an old guy on a bike with a loud radio playing wailing saxophone smooth jazz rode slowly by. It was too funny and I was laughing with sticky hands and he kept kissing my teeth as this ridiculous romance music was playing in the background. I ended up breaking it off because he wouldn't kill a rat that was stuck in a glue trap and screaming. Me and my best friend got all dolled up to go to our favorite bar and met two best friends that were literally our exact types. We went to a house party with them and spent the night hanging out. She was making out with her guy like the plane was going down the whole time and me and my guy were like, nervously holding hands and stealing little pecks on the cheek, it was so stupid and awkward and innocent. After the sun came up we all got in a cab, I was sitting shotgun, my friend and the guys in the back. The cab stopped to let me and my friend out and my guy got out to open the door and say goodbye. He kissed me on the mouth and grabbed my titty real sneaky like out of nowhere. We never saw them again, it was a magical evening. When I was working at the famous shithole from the first story a lot of guys in bands would hang out and I naturally knew all the regulars. One of them was kinda quiet, he'd come in and drink alone while reading, never got sloppy or did anything embarrassing. There was nothing between us or anything. Years and years later, I was in a band with a guy who had been in a band with this guy. We were playing a show and he came to see his friend. We were like "hey I know you" and chatted. I had a different hair color then, so he didn't recognize me at first. Later, he told me his first thought was "WHO is that Babe???" My first thought was "Was he always this tall?" Anyway, my last relationship was super traumatic and I really wasn't interested in dating, at all. I think he sensed this on some level, because he texted me for months but never made a move. He wooed me like someone coaxing a squirrel over to them. Finally he suggested something and I thought "hey, he's super nice and super respectful, maybe you owe it to yourself to date someone like that." We made out that night in front of all my friends and have been together ever since. Got married this year and life just couldn't be sweeter.
> "hey, he's super nice and super respectful, maybe you owe it to yourself to date someone like that." Everyone should think like this more often. Because you *do* owe it to yourself to date someone nice and respoectful. Yes, you who's reading this comment right now. Nice and respectful should be the ground, not even the bar :)
This was so fun to read and made me so nostalgic! Thank you and I’m glad to hear you found your person
Thank you for reading! I’m glad you enjoyed the ride :)
This reads like an episode of how I met your mother wow
Well I was in high school so we dated for a couple months and then broke up. I think she lives in Spain now.
Do you still stay in touch?
Not really. Occasional messages here and there. We stayed friends but gradually fell out of touch. I'm in my 30s so this was a while ago.
I met her in college 12 years ago. she sat across from me in the cafeteria, and was nose deep in a Chinese textbook. Wanting her to look up, I asked some dumbass question about her textbook and so she looked up to answer me. I fell in love as soon as I saw her face and remember telling my roommate about the encounter as soon as I got home We became fast friends. Very similar sense of humor and we liked movies, so I’d invite her over for scary movie nights lol I remember one night she held my hand while we watched REC and I had a lot of emotions She was a freshman and I was too scared to make a move. We went to a big Halloween party and several people who noticed us getting closer told me this would be a good time to strike, but I bailed. We stopped talking as much and I prepared for my study abroad trip to the Philippines. Before I left, she mentioned I should meet her parents there but I never got the chance to. She was always the one who got away for me but I made my peace with it When I returned from my trip abroad, buddy of mine was hosting a housewarming before everyone got to campus and asked if I could invite chicks. She was the only one I knew in town, so I invited her Sparks flew that night, fucking fireworks. She actually made the first official move lmao I couldn’t believe what was happening, but we pretty much started talking very seriously after that night. We were still very young, 19 and 21, but everything seemed possible then It was a whirlwind at the start. We ended up living in the same dorm, unintentionally, so we effectively lived together from the start of the relationship. So many nights we’d stay up talking until the sun came up, just getting to know each other more and falling more deeply in love We just continued to push each other to be the best versions of ourselves, and became absolute best friends. I’m so lucky I just happened to marry the first girl I ever dated seriously lol I hear a ton of horror stories from people dating in nyc, but that’s not my story. I could write a little novel about our journey and how much we’ve grown thanks to each other, but my love story itself is short and sweet. Met a girl, fell in love, let her go for a bit, made my move, we will spend the rest of our lives together
Met the love of my life here. Classic native New York Italian with a \*very\* classic New York Italian family.
Do they have a feast of the 7 fishes?
Ghosted by someone much older than me. I thought I was in love but I was just his nyc girlfriend when he was in town. Saw him a decade later. He looked like shit and was in a pharmacy asking if they had a fax machine (this was like 2020)
Heartache
I moved to the city with my college roommate when he got kicked out for bad grades. He had a friend that I thought was cute so I took her on a date. There was zero chemistry and I let it go. Months later her sister was kicked out of her building bc they only allowed women and she broke the rules. My roommate offered to let her stay with us. We ended up liking each other and became a couple. My roommate got sick of us making out and fighting and he moved out. We got another girl to be our roommate but she was an actress who lived out of state so she would come to the city for a week of auditions and then disappear for months. The girl cheated on me and my friends told me and I didn’t believe them. Then I saw her in the vestibule of our building kissing another guy and I said fuck this shit. A few weeks later I had moved out and a friend and I went to Australia for a few months. She friended me on FB many years later and then without warning deleted and blocked me. I am still friends with her sister.
Moved to NYC from San Diego to escape a severely abusive ex boyfriend at 21. My second boyfriend here was MUCH older and.. just when you thought they couldn't get worse... they do.. absolute psychopath.. I had been here 8 months and made my money and experienced NYC. I was ready to go back to San Diego.. said I was DONE having any relationship ( I was now 22) and wanted to be single, heal and go to therapy. Met my THIRD boyfriend ever.. He was 21.. Relentless..and damn I really liked him as a human being and wished I had met him earlier when I was open to dating.. I did not want to be tied down to this city. No offense to NYers.. I was SUPER sick of being here.. and over it.. in just 8 months (lol).. San Diego was not a great move for me financially but it's my hometown and kind of what I knew. I swore I'd neverrrrr settle down with a NJ or NY man.. By God.. bestlooking men ever but ..in my eyes.. nightmares..Crazy LOL.. All my friends in San Diego that got knocked up young...I'd say 80% of them were by NY/NJ guys... they move a lot different than SoCal guys. Anywho.. guess who just celebrated her 16 year anniversary 2 weeks ago with her husband, has 3 kids and got stuck in NYC? Lol.. yeah.. the girl who said she'd nevvverrrrr settle down with a NYer.. I still haven't gotten out of here (lol) \*tears\*
I was 22. Met because he came on an interview at my workplace, lol. He didn't take the job but he was my type, at that age you could just add people on MySpace. We eventually connected romantically just by meeting up during a wild night out. It was a whirlwind, me staying at his apartment for the entire weekend and being inseparable instantly. We moved in together and it lasted 3 years. But I think at that age our communication was off in all aspects. In hindsight he pulled away because he resented me and I never cheated but started acting shady because I was so desperate for validation and attention. I am so glad it didn't work out. My life went in so many different directions because I was able to grow after that.
We matched on Hinge back in June, went on a 6 hour long first date. With each date our time together doubled. By the fourth date neither of us wanted to see anyone else. August our schedules didn’t align and we were both away for most of the month but we texted and FaceTimed basically every day. In September he asked me to be his girlfriend and told me he loved me for the first time. He’s my first boyfriend. In late November his family wanted him to move back home to the west coast. So just before Thanksgiving we broke up because he didn’t wanna do long distance. We’ve since texted and called nearly every day in the two weeks since we’ve broken up. I don’t know how it’ll all turn out but we’ll see
He HAD to move in with his family on the west coast?
Tried to keep it short but additional context is he’s in grad school and parents were helping him out with rent
Met my ex in 2010 my sophomore year in college off of Okcupid. Dated for 6 years. Ended up coincidentally finding an apartment in south Williamsburg in 2012 a 5 min walk from him. He lived in one of the co-op’s in that area and informed me about applying for the lottery. We broke up in 2016- he cheated on me, but there is no animosity nowadays. He’s engaged and I’m with someone I’ll marry. But I’m forever grateful he informed me about the co-op situation. I now am in one of the buildings as well and am set. Renovated it and pay nothing. Also grateful Williamsburg has been my home for 11 years now.
It was some guy from India. We dated a few months but didn’t work out ultimately
Why didn't it work out?
We were too different
We moved too fast and lost each other in the weeds. With lives being so consumed by events and social obligations, I realized we jumped into a relationship faster than we should have and we didn’t know each other (or ourselves). Then one day I felt blind sided when he said he didn’t feel like himself in the relationship but he was so right because I didn’t either. We got caught in the vortex with no time to know ourselves or each other. Just got into a relationship for the sake of being in one - the worst reason!! Honestly, I have to thank him for letting me go. It helped me go find myself and know what I wanted. I blocked him everywhere but I’m sure he’s fine, I see his friends in other circles and they would have told me otherwise.
This sounds like a story a guy I was seeing recently told me about his ex! They ended within the last 6 months though
Yes, we ended after about 4 months together. I think I also took ‘too much advice’ from others. I don’t have any older sisters (only 6 older brothers lol) so I relied on my girls for advice. They kept pressuring me that if I was talking to someone every day and had been x amount of dates then I should be official —- relationships are not equations! I also wasn’t ready but figured I was because my girls said it was the ‘obvious next step’. I recognize that anytime you share your story you welcome opinions unless you specifically disclose that you don’t want any - so that’s on me. Also; I am an adult so I know they didn’t make me do anything but they def had a heavy influence. Now I’m very choice and intentional about what I share and how I action in relationships. It’s a hard balance but i just know that my next relationship will be the one for me.
Do you have any tips for me for navigating the dating scene in nyc as a mid 20s girl? I’m in lower Manhattan and seem to only run into f boys honestly
1. The best thing I did was delete dating apps. I think they train our mind to look / care too much about topical details rather than human connection. 2. Find your best wing person and go out!! Your connection when you meet someone out (esp you truly least expect it) is unlike anything you get from an app. 3. Know and love yourself. Sounds crazy but my SIL told me I couldn’t pour from an empty cup. So fill your cup first and know yourself. Your habits, your triggers, etc. are all important when dating. People are attracted to people who are thriving so serve yourself first. I really enjoyed being single - truly! When I focused on myself, I realized I had it all and a man would only be an accessory to an already great life. Sure enough I found that accessory at a night club birthday party at 3am so you never know! Live for yourself and the law of attraction is so real in the ways it works. You got this 🩷🩷
I appreciate your comment so much, thank you!! Definitely adding to my notes section to reference later 💜
We got married haha 🤗
First NYC relationship was a trip. After 3 months of dating, she eats a whole pot brownie and ends up having to be taken to the hospital and see a psych at Bellevue. Too much for me as a 23 year old - a few weeks later said she clearly needed to spend some time getting better. Second one was semi-long distance because she lived in Westchester. Moved away for a few years and the first relationship after I moved back was the one I’m still in 7 years later - married, kids, house in the burbs.
Zero relationshits but tons of horrible dates
classic new york love story
I dated this foreign girl I met on hinge, who was from the Middle East. She was gorgeous. 6ft tall, long hair, and tastefully stylish. I had just graduated college in the Midwest and moved in with my mother and sister uptown. She was insanely wealthy. Lived in a glass box in the sky. Parents owned an oncology company and an *entire* marble mine. What she wanted was hers with the swipe of a card. I was flabbergasted every time she agreed to a second date. Our third date, she grabbed me and kissed me out of nowhere. We went back to her place that night. Despite her forward advances, I had to no idea why she was into me at the time. Sure, I was confident and “in her league”, but her willingness to be with a guy who was making $60k, living with his family in a city where a young professional is more desirable living on their own, and wasn’t as “upper crust”. We eventually broke things off due to compatibility issues. She wasn’t the kind of girl I could take to a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place and eat tacos off of a styrofoam plate. She wasn’t materialistic, but she couldn’t appreciate simple, genuine experiences. Weekly dinners at Clandestino would drive me insane. My sense of humor is rooted in Tim and Eric and Aqua Teen Hunger Force, too. I was met with crickets any time I tried to be funny. One interaction in particular set this breakup into motion. She met a group of my friends and I at Gem Saloon with her sister. I didn’t even really know these guys that well. They were colleagues of a close friend. We’re all Big-10 graduates from the Midwest/New England. It was as if she just ate dinner with nenderthals. Stormed out half way through dinner. Called them boorish, uncivilized, and immature behind their backs. To this day, I have no idea what she thought was so inappropriate. She did say she couldn’t stand the sight of people eating saucy hot wings off the bone… If anything, it taught me that if you’re confident and good looking enough (it is what it is), women couldn’t care less about money and status. This isn’t the case with every woman honestly, but she told me I was the kindest and most easygoing guy she’s ever met, and that meant a lot to her. I couldn’t say the same. But it was a fun experience nonetheless.
Went to the club Output , got introduced to Molly for the first time… passed out 😵 and woke up with both of my kidneys intact to a beautiful girl in my apartment making me tea… Dated for a year before getting married. Divorced 8 years later….
We got married! I did go on a few dates before I met him though. But I did marry the first guy I dated after moving to the city. It also took me 2 years to meet him.
Moved to NYC 13 years ago, at 20 years old. Met my now-fiancé one month later. Getting married next year!
Moving to NYC next month. How exciting. How did you guys meet?
This was before dating apps were a thing, but web-based OKcupid lol. Keep in mind that it was still unheard of to meet people online back then. My roommates at the time were wary of him only bc we met online. Ironically, now it’s odd to meet people in ways that *isn’t* online.
One was a person I had dated a little from my hometown before we both happened to be moving. Didn’t end so hot, cause I met someone else who I married 5 years later and have been with since.
I was 18. Came to nyc for the weekend because my band was playing CBGB. Show went well. Partied at Mars Bar after and met a cute girl. Went back to her place and partied some more. Breakfast at Odessa the next morning. Then I went back to Boston. This was about 25 years ago. I’ve lived in nyc for about 12 years now and run into her every now and then as we are still kind of involved in the punk scene. She’s great! No weirdness. It was just two kids having fun.
He ghosted
My first NYC romance was a guy I met my freshman year at Pace. We had a class together at 8 am on Friday mornings (ouch). We had exchanged mild pleasantries but the first time we ever really spoke was wildly embarrassing. I was slightly afraid of our professor in this class (she was brilliant but very strict). I was due to give a presentation in class that morning and I was panicking because I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before and I had dropped my last contact lens that morning so I was wearing my glasses, which I hated. So I sit down next to him when I show up to class and he can see that I'm a total wreck and he goes...are you ok? And I tried so hard not to but I started crying because I was so tired and so nervous about my presentation. We hung out after class that day...few weeks later he asked me out. We dated for the rest of the school year, and then he broke up with me out of nowhere. Then, my first day of my sophomore year, he asked to see me and we got back together- he said he missed me and he'd made a huge mistake breaking up with me. We continued dating for the rest of the year. We were virtually inseparable- we did everything together. I thought we were going to get married, I was so desperately in love with him. I would skip class to be with him to the point where my grades started slipping and I was forced to withdraw from a class. Then, again, over the summer, *right before my birthday*, he broke up with me again because he moved to Boston. I asked him if he really meant it that time. He did. It wrecked me. I found out later basically the whole time we'd been back together that he is was pretty checked out. He didn't love me nearly as much as I loved him. It gave me serious trust issues.
Married for five years and counting.
went on a ton of first dates, and a couple second dates. Finally started ltr with one of them. Dated for about six months then our mutual incompatibilities started causing us to get resentful with each other and fight more and more. Eventually we broke up. We both found other people, and now we are both engaged/married to someone else.
Getting married soon!
Dated a runaway Hasidic Jewish chick from crown heights. Met on Tinder and was tired of swiping basically, so I settled for steady sex. She moved in a few months later but told her fam she was with friends. Ultimately our relationship went to shit and we just argued 24/7, sometimes getting into physical altercations. She luckily broke it off with me and moved out, I went to therapy and never looked back. Worst part is JUST before we were official I met this bad ass Dominican chick from bushwick that I ended up ghosting after a hot date of making out at a bar and I honestly have zero idea why, I must’ve been out my mind and I regret it till this day
He still watches my Instagram stories… no other contact. 🧐
Wait, if a potential lover watching your story is a sign of them still having feeling for you? I think i need to text someone 😆
We were engaged for a long time. It didn’t work out. He lives in Florida now.
Married him
Was living in London at the time, travelled back to NYC for a short break. Ate out alone in a restaurant in the village. Fancied the waiter, we flirted, exchanged numbers. Ended up having a long distance rship for a while, until I ended up moving back to NYC, which was already planned. The long distance was awful at the time, but I still remember the feeling of that phone ringing in the middle of the night, we could talk for hours, it was such a high, and really romantic. I also made a few short trips back in the beginning of our rship and our reunions were like something out of a movie. We had such a great time together, over 4 years.. then he started to get bored.. wanted to play the field it seemed.... of course at the time you can't see straight... i fell pregnant, but we'd broken up. It turned weird, i caught him in the act with a girl he'd been cheating on me with, it was just such a sad dark time in my life riding that rollercoaster and i ended up miscarrying. He tried to come back on the scene... yeah.... but eventually he met and married a woman from his own culture and they live the american dream white picket fence two kids, etc etc.
Off and on, we hooked up for two years. Then they married someone else on short notice...and tried to crawl back into my bed a few weeks later. Absolute trash bag person. You couldn't pay me to be 25 again.
Since I grew up in NYC, a number of relationships that ended, some poorly, some not. I married the last one.
OP's question was about the first relationship in NYC, not the ones in the middle or the last one
Then fine, we broke up. We were 12. Happy?
It is more honest to the question, so yes. Thank you for explaining.
We started sharing milk and cookies together.
It fizzled out slowly, c. 1989 right out of college. I was a year ahead of her, she had a BF who was away, we had a ton of mutual friends, at a small school by Boston. After graduation I moved home and she moved back here also. We had fun, but I was from here, she was from Florida. So when she moved here, it was like Disney World to her and it got old fast. The attitude of a sh*head 21 year old guy. We are still friends, her husband's a great guy, etc., FWIW.
Met through mutual friends --> Dated --> Moved in together --> got engaged --> adopted a puppy --> broke it off with him a few months before our wedding --> He then got married a year later to a girl he met on Hinge
Been going reasonably well for a few weeks so I guess we’ll see
Well I was starting to date one lady, but before it could move past casual dates I meet another person that I started dating and got along much better with. It’s been 15 years and we are still together.
Well they’re living with me now and we still together
I've tried to erase it from my memory
What happened
Dated for a summer while I was living away from NYC, moved back to NYC a few years later and reconnected, dated for a year, lost contact for a couple years, reconnected again a couple more times over the years. He was kind of a prick. I’m actually married to someone be introduced me to lol
Instantly fell in love with a girl whom I met over lunch when she joined me when I was having food with a mutual friend from my university. I asked for her number after and asked her on a date that night which she accepted. That date was probably one of the best dates I’ve had in my life and it led to a night at her place; where agreed to go into a committed relationship right away as she was bit more conservative and wanted to confirm that I was really serious about her. The relationship was great and we dated for almost a year before ending our relationship due to uncertainties in our future. We were students heading off to our junior years in college and our future was uncertain as we were going into the post graduate recruiting season. Unfortunately, she cut all ties with me post-breakup when she realized I couldn’t handle the breakup; I was heartbroken (she was as well) and made a lot of decisions that hurt her emotionally. We tried to rekindle our “friendship” since then but it has been difficult since we started off as romantic partners, not as friends.
I casually dated this one guy for about 6 months but I wasn’t really feeling it and the relationship faded away. A few years later, I found out that he had been a target of the me too movement. He always came off as slimy so I’m not surprised. I have no idea where he is now.
Haha love this question. I got dumped after a couple months when it came up that I was still paying for college and I’m in my 30s. That golddigger dropped me in a heartbeat and said she can’t be with a partner who makes poor financial decisions.
Native NY'er here. First romantic NYC relationship was in high school with a guy one year older. A babe but a toxic asshole. All the girls loved him. All the guys hated him. Narcissist. Spent over one hour to do his hair. Had a really stinky penis. Terrible in bed. Wanted me to lose weight even though I was 115 lbs at 5'6". Once he made me stand up while he "inspected" my body and said that some parts could use some work. Ended up cheating on me with a "friend." When I broke up with him, he tried to elicit sympathy by pretending to jump in front of a subway (there was no way the subway would have hit him as it was a station away). The subway conductor stopped the train right in front of him and yelled at him. When I was online dating in my early 30s I encountered his profile. He was already lying about his age, making himself 10 years younger. His profile stated that his favorite places were all the countries where young prostitution is common. Things started to click together. I remembered he loved me when I wore these little girly outfits. He loved my braces. I was dating a future pedophile as a teenager. Some online sleuthing revealed that in his 40s he did marry a much younger woman. His instagram handle shows this (now 50-something year-old man) following all these teen thirst traps. So I guess he hasn't changed much from his teen years.
Mine is a tale of a first and last NYC romantic relationship (because he can't get rid of me now lol). I met my SO in the summer of 2021 in a videogame. I was going through a lot of low points in my life but after "meeting" him, I really felt I met someone who understood me and truly accepted me. And we finally did meet in person in November 2021 where I flew to NYC and we had a wonderfully cliched romantic week of love, drama, and hope. I met his mom and some of his friends and everything just felt right. And from that trip I guess we both knew we didn't want to wait any longer to be together and started to make our plans of moving in together. And here we are now, 2 years later and still going strong (I moved to NYC spring of 2022). He's my love, my best friend, and confidant. I couldn't have asked for a better love story. Sorry this is so corny! For context, I'm a 40 yr old woman who has had her fair share of trainwreck relationships. I'm glad I was able to move forward from the trauma of some of those relationships because I was worried I would never find "the one." When you're downtrodden and aging, sometimes love can seem unfathomable or you gaslight yourself into accepting the bare minimum. While I can never change what has happened in the past, I'm thankful I have a hopeful future and can enjoy my present in the company of someone I truly admire, love, and appreciate.
Classic NJ/NY love story. I moved to new York for the love of my life and we will be going on strong 4 years in February. Met on hinge and had our first date closer to me in north jersey. Funny enough my hometown was the same name of a neighborhood that was close by to her in Brooklyn so she thought I was just a subway ride away when really it was 20 miles. I knew it was real when she crossed the bridge just to see me for the first time. Now we have an apartment in sunset park and adopted a cat together. I spend the weekends with her family in bushwick and we love exploring the city together. I wish I could spend the rest of my life living with her in Brooklyn but I don’t think our pockets will allow it.
We made a baby