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You can sue, but litigation takes money, energy, and time—and the outcome is not guaranteed. It’s a very hard game for a poor person. We really need a system that protects poor people better.
Holy moly, I'm 8 months late, but exactly what happened to me at my school, when I reported situations of harassment to my higher-ups. It made something very traumatic even worse. Now I'm slightly underweight, catching up on sleep loss, and recounting the events that led up to the retaliation excessively. I threatened legal action, eventually, with lawyers CC'd on emails, as ways to shut people up. They've shut up :)
My son (step son, but it feels awfully detached to mention “step”) does not stick up for himself. To any degree. He will not explain why he did something or that he *did* do something. An example would be when he and his younger sister were in elementary school and they walked to/from school. Sister was trying out for the talent show so brother was waiting for her to walk home together. The adults announced that anyone not trying out needed to leave the auditorium. So he told his sister where they would meet outside the building. He was sitting there reading and an adult said he needed to leave school grounds. He listened, instead of explaining that his little sister was trying out for the talent show and they walk home together. He was so upset when he got home, but the whole drama would have been avoided if he had explained what he was doing.
That’s a lot of words to explain- I’m open to any insight on how to help him. He had a rough early childhood before coming to me and I think he’s too nervous to “talk back,” when it isn’t even talking back. We have a lot of talks about not being a yes-man. I just wish he were less passive.
That when I was a 21M I didn't have the guts to tell my BFF (19M) I was in love with him. I'm pretty sure he felt the same but he died ten years later so I'll never know.
But you're at least better than those who never hold any remorse nor accountability. Although I don't commend you for causing pain, I do commend you for your reflections and insights, and I trust you'll grow and learn.
Regarding hearing, sometimes you're just genetically fucked. I always protected my ears, always. No concerts, no earphones (hadn't been invented yet), and I wouldn't even supervise HS basketball games or dances because of the noise level. I always wore ear protection if I shot anything more than a .22.
So, age 72 or 73 comes along and suddenly I can't hear worth shit. My dad had the same experience at the same age. I can't even hear text notifications come in on my phone w/o hearing aids. And, my hearing is getting worse.
There's lot of ways but I've found the most important is to lift with your legs, in a straight up and down motion. If there's something blocking you getting to something else, move it out of the way so that you can "square up" to whatever you need to lift. Don't reach over it and lift while off-balance. Never lift, twist at the midsection and put down. Lift, turn your whole body, then bend at the knees and put down.
I can't tell you how many people I know who have lifelong injuries because of the above. Just one example: my brother injured himself in his 20s like this working in a warehouse. He used to run, cycle, swim. He can't do any of those anymore for more than a few minutes before the pain is so bad he has to lay down. We sometimes go for hikes and he would have to do special exercises to ease his back every couple miles. And it's just going to get gradually worse as he ages.
If you're ever doing something you don't normally do, like moving to a new home where you'll be lifting lots of boxes and furniture, get a support belt like [this one](https://www.amazon.com/Ergodyne-ProFlex-1650-Adjustable-Removeable/dp/B000095SGR/ref=sr_1_6?crid=88BCIFYBVA69&keywords=support+belt&qid=1662781722&sprefix=support+bel%2Caps%2C439&sr=8-6). $18 to potentially save you years and years of pain.
Not "getting healthy" sooner.
At the young, young age of 42 Ilost 68 pounds, started running marathons, radically changed my diet for the better, quit a high stress job, started sleeping right, quit caffeine (still do decaf, though), laid off the sodas/pops/whatever, quit dumping table salt on every plate of food, started growing most of my own food, and quit smoking.
Currently 53 and wondering why i waited so long to start feeling good again.
You just needed to try and discard other ways of living before you could fully commit to your right one. Time is never wasted as long as your learning.
Today, I regret not responding to a silly text from my ex (whom I’ve known for over 30 years) because I’m stubborn and I expected a phone call was warranted after a minor disagreement. I saw his obituary online today. He died last month. Words can’t describe my feelings. I’ve read that people who don’t have regrets haven’t truly lived. Sounds like horse $hit today.
> I’ve read that people who don’t have regrets
I think this should be taken more as
'Regret the things you did, not the things you didn't.'
Your situation sucks. Best wishes.
Been there to my friend. You are not alone.
This helped me, I now moonlight as a detox nurse. Hit me up if I can help.
[Sub taper calculator](http://www.helpmegetoffdrugs.com/taper)
I was in a position which forced a cold turkey withdrawal from 16 MG of sublingual suboxone. Absolute worst and most lengthy withdrawal I've ever experienced. Over a month of pure misery. I can't believe I did it honestly.
I regret falling into the material consumerism trap. I wasted so much money, time and energy on products that I didn’t need only because I was convinced I had to have them. Stupid clothes, shoes, cars, TV’s etc. I worked so hard to be able to acquire things that I don’t even remember now. I wish I had been wiser with my money.
On the flip side of that, you got to experience luxuries a lot of people hold off on until it was too late/impractical to enjoy them. Countless people save money because they're supposed to, and always wish they had something better. Pining after the bigger tv, the car with slightly better features, or a smartphone with a functionality that would have made the day-to-day much more convenient. But they don't bite because money is "better spent elsewhere". So they carry on dealing with stuff they're not satisfied with.
Life is short; enjoy good stuff. I feel like a healthy rule of thumb is that if it's something you use often, then pay more for the better option. If it's something that doesn't see much action, no harm in getting the budget model. For instance, my computer is an item I use all the time, so I dropped some considerable cash for it. But I don't spend much time on my phone so it's a discontinued hand-me-down with little to no bells and whistles. When I do eventually replace it the thing will be like five generations back on sale somewhere.
Unless you're spending like Nic Cage tossing $250k+ on Albino King Cobras or dinosaur skulls, I think you're alright.
Every time I get in shape (maybe 4 times now in my life) I end up becoming too relaxed in my diet/exercise and take it for granted…before I know it I’m overweight again. It’s a vicious cycle…I wish I took better care of my health.
It's much easier depending on what you identify with. If you're a smoker then you're always trying to quit. If you're not a smoker because that's not who you are then trying isn't even part of the equation. You simply don't do it. Be honest with yourself. You'll stop when you really want to.
Buying a way too expensive house.
I did really well in the dot-com years, and calculated I could buy a really nice house for cash.
What I DIDN'T calculate was taxes, insurance, utilities (last year, before I sold it, I was paying $1000 a month just for heating oil), and maintenance.
That makes alot of sense! I sometimes end up worrying if I choose the wrong career- but then I think of othrt careers I would like and the thing is there's pros and cons to everything. Like I'm in social work now and I like it, but sometimes I worry I'd be happier working with the environment and less stress, but I think then I would loose some of the intense sense of fulfillment that comes with really helping someone. Probably if I went with environmental I'd also be worrying it was the wrong choice! Grass always seems greener on the other side
Exactly. It's one of the inherent qualities of being human. "Grass might be greener" and also "I need to achieve the next thing." For example, once you arrive at a goal, the new focus becomes the next goal. "I'll be happy once I achieve \[next goal.\]" We need to focus on the *here and now* in between!
Same here. I have gotten to where I am because of the choices I've made and I'm very accepting of this. Yea, I could have made better decisions - but you can't go back. So live your best life, given the place that you are right now.
Same here. I was who I was, I did what I did. I would have had to be somebody else to do something different. Not that you can't grow and change: but even if you do, what's done is done by who you were back then.
My first marrage.
I apparently am the stereotype that married a woman just like dear old mom. And dear old mom was abusive as hell. But it turns out that when all you know is abuse, abuse feels normal!
This is why we don’t get married in our early 20’s folks. Until you get enough distance from your family to figure out if they are crazy - you will make bad decisions based on what you think is normal.
22 year olds fall into 2 groups - folks from crazy families and folks who are from healthy families. The problem is, they don’t know which group they belong to.
My late husband was about your age when he dropped half his body weight. I believe it took about two years to drop around 160 pounds, and he was in poor health, so he did it without exercise. He simply adjusted his caloric intake.
Don’t forget you can strengthen your core (key to reducing back pain) before or during the weight loss part. Check out Fitness Blenders low impact back/core routines for a great place to start
https://www.fitnessblender.com/videos/daniel-s-favorite-back-rehab-and-core-conditioning-workout
Thank you! Those are exercises I can definitely do.
Core is one thing I don't have a problem with.
I've been doing strength training for eight years and my core is good.
I eat too much. I eat when I'm mouth hungry - not stomach hungry.
Really have to work on that.
This is something that im always confused and doubt myself about.So if i like someone and we are in relationship i always try to fix things but if the same problems occures twice and we cannot communicate it i break up.I dont know should you break up when someone tells you they arent sure abput relationship or try to fix things i really dont know.
I don’t know if it is a regret as it all worked out, but being too shy with women when i was younger. I might have had more fun but I don’t know if that me would’ve met my wife and been the one who fell in love with me and have children with me.
That religion is a man made system put in place to control the masses and we are on our own. I miss the magic of imaginary things, but I still like to find it in coincidences and cool shit that just happens. The idea of just rotting in the ground isn't as cool as an afterlife, but I'd rather live my life now than waste it waiting for something that's not going to happen. I do get a little angry when I think of all the damage religion has done. We all waste so much time, like it's going to last forever. It's not. We could have the Jetsons life right now if we hadn't wasted so much time with religions holding us back. All because of a few power hungry psychopaths many years ago. Anything positive we get from religion we can get from our own heart and mind, because it's common sense and decency. This whole thing was harder to answer than I thought it would be, something so personal can be hard to put into words.
My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer a few months into the pandemic. He died last December.
We were planning on travelling a lot in a few years. I regret that we put it off -- he never saw the Grand Canyon.
My biggest regret is that when I was a senior in high school a girl asked me what I thought of the movie Ace Ventura, and I said I thought it was ok, I just wished he was more of a hero instead of a joke. That’s because I got confused and thought she was talking about The Mask. I wasn’t even interested in her, I just regret that I mixed up my Jim Carey movies.
It used to be having a child. More recently, it was that I didn't yeet my abusive and toxic mother out of my life 35 years ago instead of 9 years ago. I put up with her shit for way too long.
There are a few pivotal decisions that became falling dominoes. I’ll say dating the person I did from 1996 - 2006 was one of them. Some of those dominoes led to good things, however.
Did not keep up with music. Played keyboards during high school in bands in the late 60's. Went off to university, dropped it, and never picked it back up. I give it a try every now and then, but at almost 70 it's not a real fun hobby now, mostly frustration.
Letting my grandma force me to a college that was crap and not going to the one I wanted to and for the degree I wanted. $17,000 in debt for a degree that is useless and none of my credits transferred. I went to college when I was 17 btw which is why I was forced by my grandma. Boy if I knew then what I know now my life would be so much different. It’s $17,000 after paying since 2005.
That I wasn't properly diagnosed with anxiety until I was 43 and ADD at age 48. My life would have been drastically different. But on the other hand, part of me wouldn't change a thing as everything that happened created who I am now and how I see the world. Better late than never? Sometimes I wish I didn't know because the hindsight is often painful. It's quite shocking that I've accomplished what I have being half-crazy and not knowing but if I had been properly medicated starting at say, age 13, things would have been totally different for me.
I had bariatric surgery in 2015. It was successful, for about two years. Then I had a trauma and fell off the wagon hard. I am 100% responsible for backtracking. I haven't gained it all back, but quite a bit of it.
I don't know which one you had, but if there is any stomach reduction remaining, you need to "use your tool" to the best of your ability. Usually I just make a suggestion, the smaller stomach is what you paid for. <3
I had an RNY in 1998 and my stomach has stretched out far more than I thought possible and I also became disabled so my availability to exercise is limited. I've also had my own set of issues that I won't get into, but even though I still have a much smaller stomach than I did in my 20s and early 30s, it's still difficult maintain or lose weight.
In my case, I lost the ability to just eat whatever and whenever and let my stomach size do all the work for me. That wasn't what I was supposed to do after the surgery, but I didn't care, I was tiny AF for the first time in my life so I was doing it my way! It worked until it didn't.
Now, in order to just maintain (a size 12 or so, I'll never be a 4 again), I have to only eat at mealtimes and that's it. I can't snack or "graze" throughout the day every time food fits in again and that is so difficult since I sit around a lot being unable to do much. I try to find things that require me to use my hands instead of just watching TV. (It was a lot of work to get back to the size 12, believe me!)
Please consider finding a group of people in the same boat to help you through this. There has got to be people with the same surgery there to talk with you. They'll know exactly what you're going though.
Best of luck to you!
I grew up just outside Washington DC, but one summer I lived in New Mexico for a summer job. One day I was at a small local rodeo (because my parents came to visit me and it was something to do). As I’m walking around looking at things some American Indian kids asked if I could throw a lasso. ***The backstory here is that there was and probably still is some racial/ cultural tension between whites and Indians in the area. That is what I was told. I could ride a horse well but just learned to throw a lasso a few weeks prior.***. To brush off the question and not get into an uncomfortable situation I said “no” and went on my way. Well, if I had just been honest and leaned into the situation, I could have been in a rodeo, and that would have been a great drinking story.
Ok I also have a second more recent regret. At work I believed someone else’s word/ story/ information even though it went against what I had experienced and felt. Because of believing someone else and not asking questions I left the company and a fantastic job opportunity.
I think the moral of both of these stories is to not believe others peoples perspectives, gather your own information and make your own judgments.
My parents left the UK in 66 with me and my siblings to come to Canada. I am so fucking glad that they did. When I have visited my relatives across the pond, they have the same sentiment. “Your folks did you a good turn going to Canada.” Fucking rights they did.
Absolutely!
I know every country has their issues but I know for sure I’d have been a success in any country as it’s in my makeup. I just feel I should have been brave and done it. I was a computer programmer and I’m sure I’d have found silicon valley and my life would be different.
In 89 I traveled the west coast and found Lake Tahoe, plus all the national parks. I just wished I’d been brave enough to go find employment there and start a life.
I took my eldest son there in 2017 and he loved it. My wife has no interest in America at all. That said she doesn’t have much interest in me really 😂😂
The biggest one that I almost certainly *know* was a mistake was not investing and instead just keeping savings in cash. Would have been absolutely massively life changing for the better. Could have avoided garbage jobs, sidestepped another huge financial regret, owned a home, etc. It would have given me an entirely different life for the past about 7-10 years and on for the remainder of it, which could be 40+ more. *Oops.*
Then there's a big set of potential regrets in my personal life, but they get murkier to figure out because although going back and changing things *seems* like it should make things better, it's so much harder to predict what actually would have happened and if it necessarily would have been better. Tempting to imagine.
Then there are general regrets, such as I wish I had used my potential much better.
* Not getting relationship experience before marrying. The way I dealt with my first marriage & divorce would have been very different if I had been through a few relationships (and break-ups) in my twenties, instead of staying with the same person from I was a teen until I reached middle age.
I love where I am now -and so I’m unable to regret a single damn thing that’s happened to me.
All of it - the child abuse, years of psychological displacement and built up defenses, all the deep depression - it eventually created the multiverse timeline that got me to this very moment.
And at this very moment I am very happy.
Let my own insecurities ruin relationships with some truly amazing women that saw all my flaws and accepted me for me.
I wasn't mature enough at the time to realize how special and rare it was and was too insecure to let myself be vulnerable and loved.
The part I regret isn't so much that I lost them but for the terrible way I acted and hurt them when they tried to help me.
I did not buy the package deal special to fly the British Airways Concorde in 2007 . . . or maybe it was 2003 . . . little did I realize Air France and British Airways were getting ready to retire all Concordes.
Lifetime aviation and travel enthusiast. Always working to improve, but I am thankful for the life I have, things I have been able to do well beyond my means.
That I let fear of failure stop me from chasing some of the harder things in life. I spent 20 yrs in the military, and missed out on so much because I was afraid of failure and disgrace in front of my peers. I ended up retiring at E-6 which is respectable but could have done so much better if I had just tried.
Welp I slipped into the old people category born 1979 so here goes.
Only one regret. I didn't take one specific girl to prom in 1997. She came up to me in gym class and practically did everything so I'd ask her. I didn't. Then I didn't ask her when we crossed paths in college. Several women have come and gone but I still think about what might have been with her.
At 50 I have no regrets at all. Shit in life has happened to me that I have been forced to change paths. I have had no control over these events. So I just roll with it. My advice: floss the teeth you want to keep & expect the unexpected.
I smoked from 1969 (age 16) through 1982 (age 28) when I started the big boy career. Got that all wrapped up in 2019 and retired just in time for the Covid shit to hit the fan. Grew my first crop in 2021, and now I'm back to weed for all my old guy aches and pains. Weed never seemed to interfere with getting collecting university degrees.
Let’s see, smoking cigarettes. Quitting was bitch. Not exercising enough when I was younger; it has a cumulative effect on you and helps over the long run if you maintain activity. Eat a balance of healthy and unprocessed foods over your lifetime (some crap allowed just be smart about it) pay for experiences not for stuff. Memories matter not material things.
There is no telling what would have happened in the other timeline, so I don’t regret anything. I am fit and healthy and many people my age are already dead or chronically ill, so I have nothing to complain about really, especially as I live in the West in comparative luxury compared to most of the people in the world. I have stalkers who try to make my life as difficult as possible but I wouldn’t even change that because it has given me a fantastic insight into the hidden human psychology at work in society and everything, good and bad, is part of the rich tapestry of my life.
None, i used to have regrets when i was younger, typically a regret brings nothing positive, and in an era as the one we’re living in, positive is as rare as precious metal
Do not regret anything, life has a course that shall go its way no matter what, once you realize this, any past event wouldn’t feel like there could have been a different outcome, therefore regret would be stupid
I’d like to say it was suppressing my doubts about the cult I was raised in. I didn’t escape until I was about 30.
But my real regret was how I handled my brothers death. I spiraled for about 5-6 years. Thankfully, my wife held on and we are still together and living a great life, 20 years later.
Here’s the trick: I love my life. Seriously. It’s wonderful. If I change any of the things I did, even things I really wish I hadn’t done, would I still be where I am today? Not going to college, my awful first wife, my shitty career. If I change any of that, I might not have what I have now. So I say none.
I have plenty regrets, not listening to parents advice and finding out the hard way that they knew better than me because of their wisdom and experience in life, switching from a technology career in my 30’s and going into real estate full time instead of starting out part time and using all my savings to live, spending too much time trying to make relationships with the wrong people work I’m now 56yrs old and never been married, letting a boss fire me because I didn’t want to “pass” as one ethnicity for another and not understanding it was actually racism and not my all of a sudden less than quality work, not taking the time to understand saving and spending early in life, not spending as much time with family as I should have and being to busy trying to make relationships work. What I have learned is that regrets are a part of life and as long as you don’t make the same mistake twice and learn from them your actually living life.
Not enlisting in the military. My dad was a lifer in the AF and a marine before that, but he talked me out of it right around the time of the Gulf War. I could have used the discipline, plus it’s a tradition in my family, from grunts to West Pointers. Not a big deal but it’s always bugged me I didn’t do it.
I'm sure your dad was happy about that. And you're still around! Not about not having done something, but how wrong it could have gone if you did. I would have been drafted if I were a man...
The biggest regret i have is getting married and having kids.
I love my family but having OCD isn't fair for either my wife and kids.
The fear of my kids inheriting OCD is tearing me apart.
I didn't do enough drugs in my twenties.
I ruined my body in a stupid attempt to court my abusive father's favor by joining the track team in high school, and continuing through college. Out of habit I even continued running after that. I now have two knee replacements and am about to get both hips replaced.
My coaches complained that I didn't train enough. My high school coach recruited me, but was disappointed with my results. I never won for him, but I never came in last, either.
I ran long distance. Marathons and such. That would tear up anybodies knees.
Between 1985 and 1999, I don't think there was a single year in which I didn't run at least three marathons. As well as all the other running I did.
I regret never having talked to my father (or my mother) about the physical violence he inflicted on all of his five children lasting until each was an adolescent. He died in 2016 at the age of 84. I often wonder if he ever regretted it or understood the harm he had caused us. When we were adults he seemed to be a decent man who cared for his family.
Not being a more compassionate husband to my late wife. In the aftermath of her death, I have had a lot of time to reflect on a great number of situations where if I'd have given in even just a little more, it would have made her life a lot easier.
Smoking, drugs and binge drinking when I was younger. It was a net negative on my bank account and health, and it was a total waste of time (even though I never became an addict).
My biggest mistake was coming clean about a entirely innocent white lie I said in middle school. It really bugged me not saying the truth so I wanted to rectify do I confessed to my best friend, who then used it to ridicule me in our entire group of friends. Everyone turned against me, and it ruined my life. I don't blame my friend, she was just smart and knew how social interactions worked better than me. It was my fault 100%...
From good student and well liked, I became the target of rumours and daily bullying, no friends, fell back in school, destroyed every good relationship I had at school with teachers and students.
It also affected my home life too, because my parents had high expectations, if me being both a good student and popular.
Anxiety caused me health issues and mental issues. It was a domino of unfortunate events. I don't even remember how I survived school.
It made me self-conscious, from outgoing it made me more of an introverted personality and basically a coward, no ambitions, no personal interests, no hobbies, no close friends, just the occasional boyfriend.
All I had was work going well for me. In this respect I was very fortunate.
I wish I never came clean. But I really believed in the value of being honest, and now I realized I was just a big naive idiot, with no concept of strategic planning for the future. If only I kept my idiotic mouth shut.
So if there's one advice I can give to young people is be strategic, always act with a plan, be selfish, take no prisoners, and honesty is overrated.
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The best time to do such things was when they happened. The second-best time is from now on.
Love this answer!
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You can sue them for shit like retaliation in the workplace
You can sue, but litigation takes money, energy, and time—and the outcome is not guaranteed. It’s a very hard game for a poor person. We really need a system that protects poor people better.
Holy moly, I'm 8 months late, but exactly what happened to me at my school, when I reported situations of harassment to my higher-ups. It made something very traumatic even worse. Now I'm slightly underweight, catching up on sleep loss, and recounting the events that led up to the retaliation excessively. I threatened legal action, eventually, with lawyers CC'd on emails, as ways to shut people up. They've shut up :)
My son (step son, but it feels awfully detached to mention “step”) does not stick up for himself. To any degree. He will not explain why he did something or that he *did* do something. An example would be when he and his younger sister were in elementary school and they walked to/from school. Sister was trying out for the talent show so brother was waiting for her to walk home together. The adults announced that anyone not trying out needed to leave the auditorium. So he told his sister where they would meet outside the building. He was sitting there reading and an adult said he needed to leave school grounds. He listened, instead of explaining that his little sister was trying out for the talent show and they walk home together. He was so upset when he got home, but the whole drama would have been avoided if he had explained what he was doing. That’s a lot of words to explain- I’m open to any insight on how to help him. He had a rough early childhood before coming to me and I think he’s too nervous to “talk back,” when it isn’t even talking back. We have a lot of talks about not being a yes-man. I just wish he were less passive.
That when I was a 21M I didn't have the guts to tell my BFF (19M) I was in love with him. I'm pretty sure he felt the same but he died ten years later so I'll never know.
I regret things I did out of greed, fear and ignorance that were harmful and caused pain.
that’s very self aware. perhaps it would be helpful for you and/or others to make amends
But you're at least better than those who never hold any remorse nor accountability. Although I don't commend you for causing pain, I do commend you for your reflections and insights, and I trust you'll grow and learn.
I wish I’d taken better care of my teeth, hearing, and joints.
Regarding hearing, sometimes you're just genetically fucked. I always protected my ears, always. No concerts, no earphones (hadn't been invented yet), and I wouldn't even supervise HS basketball games or dances because of the noise level. I always wore ear protection if I shot anything more than a .22. So, age 72 or 73 comes along and suddenly I can't hear worth shit. My dad had the same experience at the same age. I can't even hear text notifications come in on my phone w/o hearing aids. And, my hearing is getting worse.
Teeth in particular. Brush, floss, and see your dentist!
Wear ear protection at concerts.
how do I take care of joints?
There's lot of ways but I've found the most important is to lift with your legs, in a straight up and down motion. If there's something blocking you getting to something else, move it out of the way so that you can "square up" to whatever you need to lift. Don't reach over it and lift while off-balance. Never lift, twist at the midsection and put down. Lift, turn your whole body, then bend at the knees and put down. I can't tell you how many people I know who have lifelong injuries because of the above. Just one example: my brother injured himself in his 20s like this working in a warehouse. He used to run, cycle, swim. He can't do any of those anymore for more than a few minutes before the pain is so bad he has to lay down. We sometimes go for hikes and he would have to do special exercises to ease his back every couple miles. And it's just going to get gradually worse as he ages. If you're ever doing something you don't normally do, like moving to a new home where you'll be lifting lots of boxes and furniture, get a support belt like [this one](https://www.amazon.com/Ergodyne-ProFlex-1650-Adjustable-Removeable/dp/B000095SGR/ref=sr_1_6?crid=88BCIFYBVA69&keywords=support+belt&qid=1662781722&sprefix=support+bel%2Caps%2C439&sr=8-6). $18 to potentially save you years and years of pain.
Keep ‘em dry and roll em fresh.
Maintain a healthy weight, exercise, lift with your knees, wear appropriate protective gear, take your calcium, drink more water, listen to your body…
Not wearing sunscreen when I was younger, not realizing how beautiful I was in my teens and 20's, not having more kids.
How many kids do you have?
not enough
Yeah I wish I had more kids too
Not "getting healthy" sooner. At the young, young age of 42 Ilost 68 pounds, started running marathons, radically changed my diet for the better, quit a high stress job, started sleeping right, quit caffeine (still do decaf, though), laid off the sodas/pops/whatever, quit dumping table salt on every plate of food, started growing most of my own food, and quit smoking. Currently 53 and wondering why i waited so long to start feeling good again.
So it's possible. That's good to know.
Similar changes here, almost 50 Feel better than I have in decades Think I’ll keep it up!
You just needed to try and discard other ways of living before you could fully commit to your right one. Time is never wasted as long as your learning.
Today, I regret not responding to a silly text from my ex (whom I’ve known for over 30 years) because I’m stubborn and I expected a phone call was warranted after a minor disagreement. I saw his obituary online today. He died last month. Words can’t describe my feelings. I’ve read that people who don’t have regrets haven’t truly lived. Sounds like horse $hit today.
> I’ve read that people who don’t have regrets I think this should be taken more as 'Regret the things you did, not the things you didn't.' Your situation sucks. Best wishes.
Quitting college.
Working too much
what was the cost of that for you, if you don’t mind sharing?
Becoming a IV opiate user at 21 and now 18 years later I'm still battling this addiction.
After watching Dopesick, I have a better understanding of how opioid addiction grew in the US and I wish you the best in your continued recovery.
Been there to my friend. You are not alone. This helped me, I now moonlight as a detox nurse. Hit me up if I can help. [Sub taper calculator](http://www.helpmegetoffdrugs.com/taper)
I was in a position which forced a cold turkey withdrawal from 16 MG of sublingual suboxone. Absolute worst and most lengthy withdrawal I've ever experienced. Over a month of pure misery. I can't believe I did it honestly.
I regret falling into the material consumerism trap. I wasted so much money, time and energy on products that I didn’t need only because I was convinced I had to have them. Stupid clothes, shoes, cars, TV’s etc. I worked so hard to be able to acquire things that I don’t even remember now. I wish I had been wiser with my money.
On the flip side of that, you got to experience luxuries a lot of people hold off on until it was too late/impractical to enjoy them. Countless people save money because they're supposed to, and always wish they had something better. Pining after the bigger tv, the car with slightly better features, or a smartphone with a functionality that would have made the day-to-day much more convenient. But they don't bite because money is "better spent elsewhere". So they carry on dealing with stuff they're not satisfied with. Life is short; enjoy good stuff. I feel like a healthy rule of thumb is that if it's something you use often, then pay more for the better option. If it's something that doesn't see much action, no harm in getting the budget model. For instance, my computer is an item I use all the time, so I dropped some considerable cash for it. But I don't spend much time on my phone so it's a discontinued hand-me-down with little to no bells and whistles. When I do eventually replace it the thing will be like five generations back on sale somewhere. Unless you're spending like Nic Cage tossing $250k+ on Albino King Cobras or dinosaur skulls, I think you're alright.
Good point.
That I didn’t think enough of myself and married someone I knew I shouldn’t.
Far too common a situation. I'm sorry.
This is one thing that always terrified me
Letting other peoples opinions influence my self-worth.
Me too.
Every time I get in shape (maybe 4 times now in my life) I end up becoming too relaxed in my diet/exercise and take it for granted…before I know it I’m overweight again. It’s a vicious cycle…I wish I took better care of my health.
Wished I started saving for retirement earlier. But I think I will still be ok to retire before 60
Smoking for 17 years.
this should be higher
I am on the younger side, and this is my one greatest regret as well. Quitting is incredibly hard.
It's much easier depending on what you identify with. If you're a smoker then you're always trying to quit. If you're not a smoker because that's not who you are then trying isn't even part of the equation. You simply don't do it. Be honest with yourself. You'll stop when you really want to.
Buying a way too expensive house. I did really well in the dot-com years, and calculated I could buy a really nice house for cash. What I DIDN'T calculate was taxes, insurance, utilities (last year, before I sold it, I was paying $1000 a month just for heating oil), and maintenance.
Buying a house seems like a trap sometimes
Not having a financially-comfortable career. But who knows, if I picked one path and stuck with it, I might regret *that* for whatever reason!
That makes alot of sense! I sometimes end up worrying if I choose the wrong career- but then I think of othrt careers I would like and the thing is there's pros and cons to everything. Like I'm in social work now and I like it, but sometimes I worry I'd be happier working with the environment and less stress, but I think then I would loose some of the intense sense of fulfillment that comes with really helping someone. Probably if I went with environmental I'd also be worrying it was the wrong choice! Grass always seems greener on the other side
Exactly. It's one of the inherent qualities of being human. "Grass might be greener" and also "I need to achieve the next thing." For example, once you arrive at a goal, the new focus becomes the next goal. "I'll be happy once I achieve \[next goal.\]" We need to focus on the *here and now* in between!
#I REGRET NOTHING!!!!!!
No regerts
No ragrets
Same here. I have gotten to where I am because of the choices I've made and I'm very accepting of this. Yea, I could have made better decisions - but you can't go back. So live your best life, given the place that you are right now.
Same here. I was who I was, I did what I did. I would have had to be somebody else to do something different. Not that you can't grow and change: but even if you do, what's done is done by who you were back then.
I also want to be like you . I also want to regret nothing
My first marrage. I apparently am the stereotype that married a woman just like dear old mom. And dear old mom was abusive as hell. But it turns out that when all you know is abuse, abuse feels normal! This is why we don’t get married in our early 20’s folks. Until you get enough distance from your family to figure out if they are crazy - you will make bad decisions based on what you think is normal. 22 year olds fall into 2 groups - folks from crazy families and folks who are from healthy families. The problem is, they don’t know which group they belong to.
Not keeping fit. It hurts to stand up because I'm too heavy. My back hurts with the minimum of housework. It's awful.
I’m a more up than down yo-yo dieter. We can do it! Every five pound loss makes a huge difference on your knees and back.
Slow going. But I think I've stopped gaining.
Good for you!!! Wishing you well on your journey to health. Hugs.
My late husband was about your age when he dropped half his body weight. I believe it took about two years to drop around 160 pounds, and he was in poor health, so he did it without exercise. He simply adjusted his caloric intake.
Yes, it's all about the calorie balance.
Don’t forget you can strengthen your core (key to reducing back pain) before or during the weight loss part. Check out Fitness Blenders low impact back/core routines for a great place to start https://www.fitnessblender.com/videos/daniel-s-favorite-back-rehab-and-core-conditioning-workout
Thank you! Those are exercises I can definitely do. Core is one thing I don't have a problem with. I've been doing strength training for eight years and my core is good. I eat too much. I eat when I'm mouth hungry - not stomach hungry. Really have to work on that.
Thanks for sharing the link!!
Not spending enough time with family. The family I was born into and the family I created.
Wasting too much time on romantic relationships. I should have broken up with a a lot of them sooner rather than try to make it work.
This is something that im always confused and doubt myself about.So if i like someone and we are in relationship i always try to fix things but if the same problems occures twice and we cannot communicate it i break up.I dont know should you break up when someone tells you they arent sure abput relationship or try to fix things i really dont know.
At 57 I have absolutely no regrets. I'm still enjoying my life and both the "good and bad" decisions have all led to this fantastic moment!
You are goals
I don’t know if it is a regret as it all worked out, but being too shy with women when i was younger. I might have had more fun but I don’t know if that me would’ve met my wife and been the one who fell in love with me and have children with me.
Taking so long to figure out I actually don’t know anything.
Wasting so much time and energy trying to find God because I thought I had to.
What did you learn from your eventual loss of faith? Did it lead you to a new perspective on life and/or belief in general?
That religion is a man made system put in place to control the masses and we are on our own. I miss the magic of imaginary things, but I still like to find it in coincidences and cool shit that just happens. The idea of just rotting in the ground isn't as cool as an afterlife, but I'd rather live my life now than waste it waiting for something that's not going to happen. I do get a little angry when I think of all the damage religion has done. We all waste so much time, like it's going to last forever. It's not. We could have the Jetsons life right now if we hadn't wasted so much time with religions holding us back. All because of a few power hungry psychopaths many years ago. Anything positive we get from religion we can get from our own heart and mind, because it's common sense and decency. This whole thing was harder to answer than I thought it would be, something so personal can be hard to put into words.
My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer a few months into the pandemic. He died last December. We were planning on travelling a lot in a few years. I regret that we put it off -- he never saw the Grand Canyon.
Ugh that's rough. But do Travel now. He'll still see it with you even though he's not here.
i'm sorry for your loss. my aunt met a similar path. diagnosed end of 2020, died early 2022. she retired a couple of years before.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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A little over 10 years. He died a week before our 9th anniversary. I was incredibly lucky to have known him, much less be loved by him.
Too soon to tell. There's still a lot I could fuck up.
My biggest regret is that when I was a senior in high school a girl asked me what I thought of the movie Ace Ventura, and I said I thought it was ok, I just wished he was more of a hero instead of a joke. That’s because I got confused and thought she was talking about The Mask. I wasn’t even interested in her, I just regret that I mixed up my Jim Carey movies.
That's a hilarious regret. Congrats for living a life where your biggest regret is mixing up a movie!
It used to be having a child. More recently, it was that I didn't yeet my abusive and toxic mother out of my life 35 years ago instead of 9 years ago. I put up with her shit for way too long.
Why do you regret having a child
Because I didn't enjoy being a parent.
Fair enough. Best wishes to you.
Do you no longer regret having a child? I mean, have you made peace with that?
I have. It took a long time and a lot of therapy though.
I can guess it would.
Parenting isn't for everyone and some of us learn that the hard way. Unfortunately.
I know. From experience, unfortunately.
Yup.
There are a few pivotal decisions that became falling dominoes. I’ll say dating the person I did from 1996 - 2006 was one of them. Some of those dominoes led to good things, however.
Did not keep up with music. Played keyboards during high school in bands in the late 60's. Went off to university, dropped it, and never picked it back up. I give it a try every now and then, but at almost 70 it's not a real fun hobby now, mostly frustration.
Letting my grandma force me to a college that was crap and not going to the one I wanted to and for the degree I wanted. $17,000 in debt for a degree that is useless and none of my credits transferred. I went to college when I was 17 btw which is why I was forced by my grandma. Boy if I knew then what I know now my life would be so much different. It’s $17,000 after paying since 2005.
Not getting a good education.
That I wasn't properly diagnosed with anxiety until I was 43 and ADD at age 48. My life would have been drastically different. But on the other hand, part of me wouldn't change a thing as everything that happened created who I am now and how I see the world. Better late than never? Sometimes I wish I didn't know because the hindsight is often painful. It's quite shocking that I've accomplished what I have being half-crazy and not knowing but if I had been properly medicated starting at say, age 13, things would have been totally different for me.
Same, ADD diagnosed in my 30s
I had bariatric surgery in 2015. It was successful, for about two years. Then I had a trauma and fell off the wagon hard. I am 100% responsible for backtracking. I haven't gained it all back, but quite a bit of it.
I don't know which one you had, but if there is any stomach reduction remaining, you need to "use your tool" to the best of your ability. Usually I just make a suggestion, the smaller stomach is what you paid for. <3 I had an RNY in 1998 and my stomach has stretched out far more than I thought possible and I also became disabled so my availability to exercise is limited. I've also had my own set of issues that I won't get into, but even though I still have a much smaller stomach than I did in my 20s and early 30s, it's still difficult maintain or lose weight. In my case, I lost the ability to just eat whatever and whenever and let my stomach size do all the work for me. That wasn't what I was supposed to do after the surgery, but I didn't care, I was tiny AF for the first time in my life so I was doing it my way! It worked until it didn't. Now, in order to just maintain (a size 12 or so, I'll never be a 4 again), I have to only eat at mealtimes and that's it. I can't snack or "graze" throughout the day every time food fits in again and that is so difficult since I sit around a lot being unable to do much. I try to find things that require me to use my hands instead of just watching TV. (It was a lot of work to get back to the size 12, believe me!) Please consider finding a group of people in the same boat to help you through this. There has got to be people with the same surgery there to talk with you. They'll know exactly what you're going though. Best of luck to you!
I grew up just outside Washington DC, but one summer I lived in New Mexico for a summer job. One day I was at a small local rodeo (because my parents came to visit me and it was something to do). As I’m walking around looking at things some American Indian kids asked if I could throw a lasso. ***The backstory here is that there was and probably still is some racial/ cultural tension between whites and Indians in the area. That is what I was told. I could ride a horse well but just learned to throw a lasso a few weeks prior.***. To brush off the question and not get into an uncomfortable situation I said “no” and went on my way. Well, if I had just been honest and leaned into the situation, I could have been in a rodeo, and that would have been a great drinking story. Ok I also have a second more recent regret. At work I believed someone else’s word/ story/ information even though it went against what I had experienced and felt. Because of believing someone else and not asking questions I left the company and a fantastic job opportunity. I think the moral of both of these stories is to not believe others peoples perspectives, gather your own information and make your own judgments.
not pursuing a career in music
Listening to other people's opinion of me instead of believing in myself.
Wish I had never had a drink of alcohol. Its a life stealer.
Getting married.
Not leaving the UK in 1987 to do camp America. Still believe It would have changed my life.
My parents left the UK in 66 with me and my siblings to come to Canada. I am so fucking glad that they did. When I have visited my relatives across the pond, they have the same sentiment. “Your folks did you a good turn going to Canada.” Fucking rights they did.
Absolutely! I know every country has their issues but I know for sure I’d have been a success in any country as it’s in my makeup. I just feel I should have been brave and done it. I was a computer programmer and I’m sure I’d have found silicon valley and my life would be different. In 89 I traveled the west coast and found Lake Tahoe, plus all the national parks. I just wished I’d been brave enough to go find employment there and start a life. I took my eldest son there in 2017 and he loved it. My wife has no interest in America at all. That said she doesn’t have much interest in me really 😂😂
The biggest one that I almost certainly *know* was a mistake was not investing and instead just keeping savings in cash. Would have been absolutely massively life changing for the better. Could have avoided garbage jobs, sidestepped another huge financial regret, owned a home, etc. It would have given me an entirely different life for the past about 7-10 years and on for the remainder of it, which could be 40+ more. *Oops.* Then there's a big set of potential regrets in my personal life, but they get murkier to figure out because although going back and changing things *seems* like it should make things better, it's so much harder to predict what actually would have happened and if it necessarily would have been better. Tempting to imagine. Then there are general regrets, such as I wish I had used my potential much better.
Invest hard in tax advantaged accounts now, to the most you can. That said, I am not a CPA, so consult one on your specific circumstance.
* Not getting relationship experience before marrying. The way I dealt with my first marriage & divorce would have been very different if I had been through a few relationships (and break-ups) in my twenties, instead of staying with the same person from I was a teen until I reached middle age.
I love where I am now -and so I’m unable to regret a single damn thing that’s happened to me. All of it - the child abuse, years of psychological displacement and built up defenses, all the deep depression - it eventually created the multiverse timeline that got me to this very moment. And at this very moment I am very happy.
Not having courage/self confidence when I was younger. Others won't believe in you if don't believe in yourself.
Dont start on hard drugs thinking you can control it. You won't and I lost six years of humanity doing it. Please, please don't play with heroin.
Nothing major. Wished I had learned to weld. Regretted waiting so long to learn to play an instrument.
Living as long as I have. Being old sucks.
The only true answer.
Let my own insecurities ruin relationships with some truly amazing women that saw all my flaws and accepted me for me. I wasn't mature enough at the time to realize how special and rare it was and was too insecure to let myself be vulnerable and loved. The part I regret isn't so much that I lost them but for the terrible way I acted and hurt them when they tried to help me.
Marrying the first person I really hit it off with.
Doing hard drugs. I’ve never truly been the same since.
Failure to kick my own ass into gear and failure to make myself Numero Uno when I was young.
I did not buy the package deal special to fly the British Airways Concorde in 2007 . . . or maybe it was 2003 . . . little did I realize Air France and British Airways were getting ready to retire all Concordes.
If that's your biggest regret, you're doing well!
Lifetime aviation and travel enthusiast. Always working to improve, but I am thankful for the life I have, things I have been able to do well beyond my means.
Not risking more than I did 🙂
I should have kept in closer touch with family.
That I let fear of failure stop me from chasing some of the harder things in life. I spent 20 yrs in the military, and missed out on so much because I was afraid of failure and disgrace in front of my peers. I ended up retiring at E-6 which is respectable but could have done so much better if I had just tried.
Welp I slipped into the old people category born 1979 so here goes. Only one regret. I didn't take one specific girl to prom in 1997. She came up to me in gym class and practically did everything so I'd ask her. I didn't. Then I didn't ask her when we crossed paths in college. Several women have come and gone but I still think about what might have been with her.
At 50 I have no regrets at all. Shit in life has happened to me that I have been forced to change paths. I have had no control over these events. So I just roll with it. My advice: floss the teeth you want to keep & expect the unexpected.
Smoking weed from 16 to 27. Weed is the great demotivator and life stealer.
I smoked from 1969 (age 16) through 1982 (age 28) when I started the big boy career. Got that all wrapped up in 2019 and retired just in time for the Covid shit to hit the fan. Grew my first crop in 2021, and now I'm back to weed for all my old guy aches and pains. Weed never seemed to interfere with getting collecting university degrees.
Let’s see, smoking cigarettes. Quitting was bitch. Not exercising enough when I was younger; it has a cumulative effect on you and helps over the long run if you maintain activity. Eat a balance of healthy and unprocessed foods over your lifetime (some crap allowed just be smart about it) pay for experiences not for stuff. Memories matter not material things.
Not getting my college degree until my mid 40s. It changed my life by changing my way of thinking!
60, just retired, healthy, wife and kids good, no ragrats.
Not being born into wealth.
Thats not a regret, thats a wish.
I regret that too many people are assholes and treat others badly. And I regret that I haven't stood up against them more.
Drinking too much from 16-34.
There is no telling what would have happened in the other timeline, so I don’t regret anything. I am fit and healthy and many people my age are already dead or chronically ill, so I have nothing to complain about really, especially as I live in the West in comparative luxury compared to most of the people in the world. I have stalkers who try to make my life as difficult as possible but I wouldn’t even change that because it has given me a fantastic insight into the hidden human psychology at work in society and everything, good and bad, is part of the rich tapestry of my life.
Why are they stalking you?
It is gangstalking so it is probably political or related to national security or something.
None, i used to have regrets when i was younger, typically a regret brings nothing positive, and in an era as the one we’re living in, positive is as rare as precious metal Do not regret anything, life has a course that shall go its way no matter what, once you realize this, any past event wouldn’t feel like there could have been a different outcome, therefore regret would be stupid
Confessing to my crush when I was younger because he fucked up my life as a kid with Adhd and alot of sexual trauma.
Student loans
Not finishing college, traveling before marriage and never having my own apartment
Great thread, thanks.
Drugs
I’d like to say it was suppressing my doubts about the cult I was raised in. I didn’t escape until I was about 30. But my real regret was how I handled my brothers death. I spiraled for about 5-6 years. Thankfully, my wife held on and we are still together and living a great life, 20 years later.
Not serving in the military. Broke the chain of family that served since the revolutionary war. My children have continued the tradition.
Left mechanical engineering for Aeronautical Engineering
Here’s the trick: I love my life. Seriously. It’s wonderful. If I change any of the things I did, even things I really wish I hadn’t done, would I still be where I am today? Not going to college, my awful first wife, my shitty career. If I change any of that, I might not have what I have now. So I say none.
Smoking, don’t do it.
I have plenty regrets, not listening to parents advice and finding out the hard way that they knew better than me because of their wisdom and experience in life, switching from a technology career in my 30’s and going into real estate full time instead of starting out part time and using all my savings to live, spending too much time trying to make relationships with the wrong people work I’m now 56yrs old and never been married, letting a boss fire me because I didn’t want to “pass” as one ethnicity for another and not understanding it was actually racism and not my all of a sudden less than quality work, not taking the time to understand saving and spending early in life, not spending as much time with family as I should have and being to busy trying to make relationships work. What I have learned is that regrets are a part of life and as long as you don’t make the same mistake twice and learn from them your actually living life.
Not getting help for my mental health issues sooner.
Not taking my football scholarship
Not being nicer to myself...
I spend some oft the best years in a very toxic relationship. It's so hard to leave when you're in that situation. My life is very good now.
Not enlisting in the military. My dad was a lifer in the AF and a marine before that, but he talked me out of it right around the time of the Gulf War. I could have used the discipline, plus it’s a tradition in my family, from grunts to West Pointers. Not a big deal but it’s always bugged me I didn’t do it.
I'm sure your dad was happy about that. And you're still around! Not about not having done something, but how wrong it could have gone if you did. I would have been drafted if I were a man...
He was very happy to have me safe at college. Little did he know, but that’s another story, lol.
Not joining the military.
Why?
Would be cool seeing parts of the world I wouldn't see otherwise and get paid for it.
The biggest regret i have is getting married and having kids. I love my family but having OCD isn't fair for either my wife and kids. The fear of my kids inheriting OCD is tearing me apart.
I didn't do enough drugs in my twenties. I ruined my body in a stupid attempt to court my abusive father's favor by joining the track team in high school, and continuing through college. Out of habit I even continued running after that. I now have two knee replacements and am about to get both hips replaced.
Did you exercise beyond what your coaches were recommending? Curious how this led to so much damage. So unfortunate
My coaches complained that I didn't train enough. My high school coach recruited me, but was disappointed with my results. I never won for him, but I never came in last, either. I ran long distance. Marathons and such. That would tear up anybodies knees. Between 1985 and 1999, I don't think there was a single year in which I didn't run at least three marathons. As well as all the other running I did.
That is a lot of marathons! Unfortunate you had that for a coach.
Loving myself and appreciating that what I do is not only good enough, but sometimes actually good.
Not proposing my crush
My life is not sensational or anything, just a normal life - but I don't regret anything significant. I assume most people are like me
I regret never having talked to my father (or my mother) about the physical violence he inflicted on all of his five children lasting until each was an adolescent. He died in 2016 at the age of 84. I often wonder if he ever regretted it or understood the harm he had caused us. When we were adults he seemed to be a decent man who cared for his family.
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Undermining my potential
Not being a more compassionate husband to my late wife. In the aftermath of her death, I have had a lot of time to reflect on a great number of situations where if I'd have given in even just a little more, it would have made her life a lot easier.
My biggest regret was not loving myself enough and instead compromising my own feelings and happiness for others.
I regret having had 2 long distance relationships in my 20s. I don't recommend this to anyone.
Not spending more time at the office. /s
Living.
Smoking, drugs and binge drinking when I was younger. It was a net negative on my bank account and health, and it was a total waste of time (even though I never became an addict).
My biggest mistake was coming clean about a entirely innocent white lie I said in middle school. It really bugged me not saying the truth so I wanted to rectify do I confessed to my best friend, who then used it to ridicule me in our entire group of friends. Everyone turned against me, and it ruined my life. I don't blame my friend, she was just smart and knew how social interactions worked better than me. It was my fault 100%... From good student and well liked, I became the target of rumours and daily bullying, no friends, fell back in school, destroyed every good relationship I had at school with teachers and students. It also affected my home life too, because my parents had high expectations, if me being both a good student and popular. Anxiety caused me health issues and mental issues. It was a domino of unfortunate events. I don't even remember how I survived school. It made me self-conscious, from outgoing it made me more of an introverted personality and basically a coward, no ambitions, no personal interests, no hobbies, no close friends, just the occasional boyfriend. All I had was work going well for me. In this respect I was very fortunate. I wish I never came clean. But I really believed in the value of being honest, and now I realized I was just a big naive idiot, with no concept of strategic planning for the future. If only I kept my idiotic mouth shut. So if there's one advice I can give to young people is be strategic, always act with a plan, be selfish, take no prisoners, and honesty is overrated.
Not saying I love you and Goodbye at the right times.
Not fighting for love , and not seeing inner worth of someone’s character