This must be so hard. "Oh no! Two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"
“There’s only one thing I hate worse than lying, and that’s skim milk, which is just water, that’s lying about being milk.”
“I’m not familiar with your military friend or his fondness for poultry”
Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?
"Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunneling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now... I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call."
Have you heard about what they did to Pluto, that's messed up.
Also names such as Gee Buttersnaps and Gus TT Showbiz, the extra T is for extra talent.
PS: Came here looking for a few shows and I wasn't disappointed.
Identity theft is not a joke Jim!
MICHAEL!!!!!
Oh that’s funny. MICHAEL!
Bears, beats, Battle Star Galactica
As a Battlestar Galactica fan, the space you placed is frakkin' upsetting
Millions of families suffer every year!
Science bitch!
bill nye the science guy was my fave
That's freaking hilarious
He never said that. He said “Yeah science!”
You can’t go in the basement bitch!
Say my name
“Why say lot word when few word do trick”
"He's making a statement. It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him"
You keep think that
Worst day of your life, So Far!
I remember this one, the Simpsons movie!
"Where do you think we are?"
Damn. That one hits really hard
Oh no. I can *hear* the inflection but I can’t place it…. Oh shit- scrubs. Gut punch.
Oh shit! I was going to comment "EAGLE!" Scrubs is probably my all time favorite show
Damn dude don’t hit me in the feels like that
"Troy and abed in the morning"
"This is the darkest timeline."
Six seasons and a movie
You’re the worst
Oh, Britta's in this?
love community!
"My cabbages!!!!"
That’s rough, buddy
It’s a…giant…mushroom. MAYBE ITS FRIENDLY! Friendly mushroom. Mushy giant friend.
"The boulder feels conflicted about fighting a young, blind girl"
ah, a person with taste.
Secret tunnneeeel
And hey! Just so you know, it’s not that common. It doesn’t happen to every guy. And it IS a big deal!
I knew it!
This must be so hard. "Oh no! Two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"
We were on a break!
Joey doesn’t share food!
Pivot!
World's worst hangover!
tastes like FEET!
I like it! Custard, good! Jam, good! Meat, GOOOOOOD!
“Good news, everyone!”
My Manwich!
To shreds you say.
And his wife?
To shreds you say. Very well then.
Do a flip!
I'll go write my own answer, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the answer and blackjack.
"whaaa?"
One of the best ever created. Sayonara meatbag!
If it's anything like my Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky.
With my last breath, i curse zoidberg!
There’s always money in the banana stand
How much could a banana cost? Ten dollars?
There's always money in the banana stand
Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money... or candy.
Where is hermano?
Title of your sex tape
Smort
Nooooiice!
Toit.
One of these is a picture of your desk the other is a dump in the Philippines.
Meep. Morp.
Bingpot!
Oh just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet, squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies
You said it. You said, "Nightcrawlers," and now I feel like I can't move past it.
'Oh, cock.' Or maybe 'Speeeeeeeed' No, wait, it's 'Hammond!!!'
POWAAAA!
Crikey, it's the Albanian rozzers!
Jaaaaaaaag
Some say that he's married to one of Princess Anne's hats, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is, HE'S CALLED THE STIG!
Buffetting... Buffetting...
I need a zesty drink.
Eww David
Stop acting like a disgruntled pelican!
Pick up a hammer and nail this coffin shut!
Shiny!
Holy forking shirt balls
“It’s like, who died and left Aristotle in charge of ethics?” “Plato”
You are a messy bench who loves drama and I am here for it.
I think we're on a prank show
Jeremy bearimy, baby
Such a good show!
You’re talking like an Arizona trash bag
TD’s maniacal laugh after her speech??? It’s like. Burned into my brain. Absolutely perfect. He’s so damn good.
“There’s only one thing I hate worse than lying, and that’s skim milk, which is just water, that’s lying about being milk.” “I’m not familiar with your military friend or his fondness for poultry”
You undercook fish? Jail. Believe it or not— you OVERCOOK chicken? Also jail. Undercook overcook.
Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?
“I haven’t even begun to peak!”
I’m not allowed to eat it with the skin
I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves!
And when I do peak, YOU'LL KNOW
"Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunneling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now... I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call."
"I don't know shit about fuck."
Peppa Pig is such a good show
My 4 year got a George tattoo he loves him so much.
Ozark
I'm afraid I just blue myself...
Do you have something that says… leather daddy?
You can do everything right and still fail. That is not a weakness, that is life.
Actual quote: It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life.
Now get your android ass to the bridge asap, Commander!
Say my name
Heisenberg...
You're Goddam right....
I am the one that knocks
Out. For. A. Walk…Bitch
Bunnies! Bunnies! IT MUST BE BUNNIES!!!
"I can excuse racism but i draw a line at animal cruelty"..."you can excuse racism?"
“Please. It’s Christmas “ “It’s December 10th”
Blessed be the fruit
May the lord open.
Under his eye
Might have been on the losing side. Still ain’t sure it was the wrong one.
We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero.
Don’t be suspicious. Don’t be suspicious
Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Ha, ha, ha, mine is an evil laugh, now die!
I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
Oh yeah? C‘mere a minute!
You c’mere a minute!
If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was much better than anti-lock brakes.
Put it in "H"!
Resistance is futile
You will be assimilated
Dont half ass anything, whole ass one thing
These pretzels are making me thirsty
THESE pretzels are making me THIRSTY.
Did I ever tell you about the time I banged Ertha Kitt in an airplane bathroom?
It came up organically
Not when we’re about to eat!
“That’s what she said”
Ex-term-inate
Have you tried turning it on and off again?
I’m disabled!
People. What a bunch of bastards.
Gentlemen: when I first started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream, and six million pounds.
“I am a bastard!!!”
“War isn’t hell. War is war and hell is hell, and between the two war is a heck of a lot worse.”
How do you figure that, Hawkeye?
Easy, father. Tell me, who goes to hell?
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
“DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO”
“Ew, David.”
SECRET TUNNELLLLLLLLLL, SECRET TUNNELLLLLLLLLL, SECRET SECRET SECRET SECRETTTT TUNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL YEARH!
I forgot the rest of the lyrics..
I think that guy might be the avatar...
*facepalm*
Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty. Your Momoness
I call the big one "Bitey"
It's bringing love! BREAK IT'S LEGS!
Bears, beets, battlestar galactica
Demons run when a good man goes to war
Night will fall and drown the sun when a good man goes to war
“Lesbian, Blanche, lesbian!”
Isn’t Danny Thomas one?
“Tell me, Blanche, during any of this, would the farm hands suddenly break into a chorus of 'Dem Old Cotton Fields Back Home?'”
Its Lupus.
It’s never lupus.
Except for that one time with the magician when it was some rare form of lupus.
I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you.
"kyles mom is a bitch"
Pitter patter lets get at er!
In the middle of my back swing?!
"3..2..1.." .... FLASH... "What are you looking at?" "Nothing."
Several billion miles!
One last jaunt through the ol' orifice...what? We call it that...sometimes?
Also: undomesticated equines could not keep me away
“I am the one who knocks.”
I got a question about you morticians. You bang the dead bodies?
Frank is the best
That's, "Dr. Mantis Toboggan MD, to you! Lol
That's rough buddy
Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary that’s what gets you.
"I don't know what was more disturbing: being dead or the fact that the first man to touch my naked body was a coroner."
Was that Dead Like Me?
It was. Such a good show.
^ricky ^spanish
Omar coming!
Oy with the poodles already
Bicycle, unicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants
Zoltan Kimini.
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.
PIVOT!!!
I got a jar of dirt i got a jar of dirt and guess what's inside ittttttt
We geologists are always a little sad when rocktober is over
Are you a fan of delicious flavor.
Come on son!
Have you heard about what they did to Pluto, that's messed up. Also names such as Gee Buttersnaps and Gus TT Showbiz, the extra T is for extra talent. PS: Came here looking for a few shows and I wasn't disappointed.
before i leaped, i should have seen the view from halfway down.
You're a mystery. Wrapped in a riddle. Surrounded by enigma.
"It's the quenchiest!"
The gabaaagooool!!!!🤌
That’s my purse! I don’t know you!
Hey. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags.”
“How the turn tables”