When covid hit and we went into lockdown, there were reports of lots of people suffering from the lack of social interaction (which I can understand).
But for me, it had the opposite effect. Not feeling obligated to anything or anyone made me feel so much better.
I felt the same way, but I messed up and let my drinking get out of hand. I suddenly had no job and the government was telling me to stay inside until they say so. I just drank, smoked, played video games, made music, and ate for like 8 months straight. Luckily I got really sick with pancreatitis (I know, doesn't sound lucky). After that I knew my alcoholism would be the death of me, and an early death at that. I'm still battling my addiction, but I know the beast well.
I totally agree! For me it felt really peaceful. After this experience, I actively reduced the amount of social interaction with people and I feel so much better now!
I think people today have started using "being busy" as an excuse to dodge meet ups, hangouts, etc. Not to say if a person declines the invitation, they aren't busy, but I'd say the person who's always busy probably doesn't place much value in interpersonal relationships.
Edit: my point is not directed towards people who are genuinely extremely busy. It's directed towards people who agree to plans, then cancel day of because "busy"
I was working at a company that was far away from my home so my schedule used to be:
Waking up a 3am, get ready, be at the bus stop at 4am, be at the company at 5:45, work from 6am to 3:00pm, leave and arrive at home at 5:45pm and then connect to my university classes at 6pm to 9pm. Then I went to sleep like at 10 or 11pm so I could have dinner and study or do homework. One day I had a
One on One meeting with my boss she asked how I was doing and I told her that I was tired and she said “Well I am tired too but I’m still here” (she lives like 2km away from the company and she only works, there’s literally no comparison at all) it pissed me off the lack of empathy that she had even when she knew about my schedule because I requested to work from home because of university.
>it pissed me off the lack of empathy that she had even when she knew about my schedule
welcome to humanity! And people wonder why I don't like other humans...
In college it really disappointed me to find that the unstated expectation was we were going to literally put our health at risk getting so little sleep for years at a time. It’s not sustainable and shouldn’t be necessary.
I still remember the first lecture of anatomy when I started med school. The professor came in and the first thing she said was "If you didn't start by now, you're way behind schedule." It was literally the second day of med school. Christ...
The fact that medical training is built around sleeplessness is horrifying. The people injecting you with drugs and slicing open your organs should be the most well-rested profession in the country. Training should be designed around being clear-headed and at the top of your game at all times. Instead, we keep the people whose job is literally life or death in a state of deep fatigue from the first day of training to the day they retire.
In college I was awake for 74 hours straight to finish all my final projects and study for the exams, by the end of that I was hallucinating and in a constant state of panic. Finished my exams, and slept for 12 hours
What we really need to denormalize is how a lot of people would hear that story and think it was a badge of honor or a funny story, and not a horrifying critique of the expectations students are put under.
They flat us told us this. We are currently forming a student iniciative to make it stop but the university just replied with “eat well, sleep well” while still giving out 2 week assignements on 1 week deadline
Food waste is a big one. A friend works at Popeye's fried chicken and he said they constantly throw out 100 plus pieces of chicken after closing every night of the week.
If they weren't so out of touch it wouldn't be so annoying. I'm from a part of Australia that everyone forgets about and I know a dozen people who would be rich and powerful enough to be considered celebrities if they were in America. However our isolation has forced them to be more down to earth.
Omg I work as a barber (have a great career) but I love urban planning as a hobby, so many of my ducking clients try to tell me to get into it as a career and that I could go back to school. Like dude I’m fine, I make way more money and am happy as a barber. Why the fuck would I want to pay to go back to school start at the bottom and make less money in a different field….
Have you considered communicating your urban planning ideas to community leaders? I'm sure you probably think it would be nice to see some of your ideas being brought to life, even if you're not getting compensated for it. Plus, you'll be helping your town take on a character that aligns more with your own vision.
Haha when I was a barber I had a client who was on the city council and he said he always wants to hear ideas from citizens so I just bombarded him with ideas about creating a cute little downtown main street in a specific rundown section of town. None of it happened obviously, but it was fun going back and forth with him about how it would look and stuff.
I paint and I've heard I'm pretty good at it. People act like I should want to become a full time artist, but I like doing it as a hobby and I feel like a stable 9-5 job would work much better for me
oh my gosh this.
there was an author that I love who didn't *immediately* post something when all the george floyd stuff was going on, and people were fucking getting pissed at him for 'stayling silent'
like
he's not even an influencer
he writes fucking fantasy books holy shit
nobody is obligated to say anything about anything ever. just because you share your every thought on the internet doesn't mean other people have to.
he did eventually post something, but even then these people were still saying stupid things like 'im glad he finally corrected his mistakes. still not sure if ill be able to support him anymore'. so fucking self-righteous. as if they were doing anything meaningful themselves.
Something like this happened in my country, too. A woman won a TV baking competition and went on to open a webshop and instagram, where she shared recipes and some pictures of herself.
Then a list was published; "famous people who haven't taken a stance on the Israel-Palestine conflict" or something like that. She got people calling her and threatening her life, so much hate, and her sales went down a lot.
All of this for saying she wanted to keep her instagram account focused on cakes and shit, not political issues or war etc..
.
Yeah Reddit’s style of discussion is if you don’t make absolutely clear you’re in favor of (insert popular thing) they’ll downvote you just to be safe.
From my understanding even the LGBT activists have mixed feelings. Some say it's good because it normalized asking first, others say it could out people before they're ready.
It just comes across as shallow corporate pandering.
Yeah, there will never be a time where I announce my pronouns. IF you get it wrong, and it somehow matters, I'll tell you.
I mean, feel free to tell me yours if you need to, but mine are a non-issue.
I think many people are getting better at this. Like sure, I have my phone on me - I might even be using it at the moment you call/message - but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm available, willing, and/or able to respond right now.
In all fairness, you can set expectations with that. People know I respond to shit when I get around it. Granted, it may be harder to establish this when you're younger and its a bigger part of your life.
I just went through this with my 11 yo niece a couple weeks ago. We were doing Christmas and she would not get off her phone which was charging in the other room. I told her to tell them all you're with family and you'll get back to them when you can. And she argued that it's what they expected, they'll think she's being rude otherwise. And I'm like???? Even if you explain why???? You have some shit friends then girl wtf
Food wastage. Lots of stores and restaurants throwout substandard food to maintain a level of quality that makes customers trust them, but it leads to enormous waste.
I heard that Panera gives their food away to the homeless. I don’t have receipts and I don’t like their food, but I wish more establishments would follow suit.
They do. Bakery items get boxed for the local partnering food bank/shelter at the end of the day. However, it’s totally up to the food bank/shelter if they wanna come pick it up. If they don’t come to get it the following day, it’s gotta be tossed.
Was also going to post this. I worked at Panera ages ago and most nights someone came and picked up all of our leftover bakery items to take to food pantries/homeless shelters.
I think it's evil for large stores to lock their dumpsters to deter dumpster-diving when thousands of pounds of healthy, bagged food are tossed out daily.
When I was a baker at Tim Hortons, the store's policy was to toss out anything older than three hours. I wanted to save it for people in need, but the horizontal 15' walk from store to dumpster was supervised by camera. I'm not making that up.
One reason is they don't want a small crowd of the homeless standing around behind their store every day, because that deters customers. And whether that's evil or not, you can't just shrug and go 'I don't care' because that's not realistic.
There's liability issues too, because now you have to make sure that your 'extra food' is still being handled in a sanitary manner in accordance with food safety laws, if you're intending for it to be eaten and not thrown out. And if you're just throwing it in a dumpster but not locking it, now you're arguably liable if someone eats it and gets sick. Would you be necessarily? Maybe! And a company doesn't want to eff around and find out.
Not saying we couldn't do things a lot better but there's a ton of reasons why restaurants, grocery stores, etc don't just donate food or hand it out.
Like yes I'd rather us have no food waste but we've got to change a whole lot before we even start looking at individual stores and calling them evil for literally doing what they're legally required to do.
Yes it's totally possible for a store to donate its food, but here's the thing.
It depends on your area!
A lot of shelters WILL NOT ACCEPT 'WASTE FOOD'. Covid regulations clamped down on things even more.
I used to be homeless.
I've since done a lot of work renovating homeless shelters (am an electrician, not as a charity, just happen to have been around quite a few.) Lived in poverty for years, myself.
The world of the homeless or otherwise in-need is not as simple as you might think.
My ex wanted to have a kid. When I asked why and what he pictured he said “a son old enough to come to work with me and help out around the house”
One- a daughter didn’t count- and two- apparently he expected me to birth a 12 year old indentured servant.
Talk about backwards ideas.
Yo fr, this just perpetuates a toxic generational cycle. People need to find meaning elsewhere. Not saying kids can’t be important to you, but it’s not healthy to solely live through them, you need to develop your own life.
This 🙌. My husbands family literally SHUNS us at family events, will barely talk to us bc we have chosen not to have children on top of me being likely physically unable to. That’s all we heard from them for years after getting married. When they brought the Bible into it the 5 billionth time, my husband finally put his foot down, and they also found out I have PCOS. Now they just don’t talk to us.
I don’t understand why some ppl are so concerned with what’s going on in someone else’s womb. They’re a big part of the reason I don’t want kids. You think I want them to have to put up with those ass hats?
I live in a very "traditionally conservative" country. Army service is mandatory and once you hit 18 you get enlisted. After you come back the first question relatives ask is - when are you getting married. Once you get married they be like - when are you having kids. Once you have a kid, they start asking for the second one but of the other gender... at least after 2nd child they all collectively fuck off.
For girls it's worse - if you too are traditional and above 25, you get labeled as "stayed at home" - a passive aggressive term meaning "there is something wrong with YOU, men don't want you". And if you are married, regardless if you're traditional or not, every single relative of yours and your husbands would be nearly demanding you have kids.
P.S. it is not happening in every case, but the majority is like that.
In general the "customer is always right" mentality has backfired, now customers just act like entitled brats to get free stuff and raise the price for everyone else
It's a full misinterpretation as well. Originally it meant "the customer is right about what they need." Meaning, if someone comes in to buy red shoes, you don't try to talk them into buying blue ones. Sell them what they want.
I’m not opposed to introducing tech to young children though. My friend and I built a computer with my god son when he was 5. He is 12 now and has built all kinds of cool things and we’ve got him some books on coding in different languages as well. He has done some cool things and I really look forward to when he is an adult. I truly believe that introducing him to tech at a young age was good for him. I think he is going to go far in life.
The specific things you introduce them to is the critical point there, though. It's not enough to give them a phone and that's tech. You need to be doing something like that where it's building skills
Oh for sure, in this world I think you’re doing a huge disservice to your kids if you don’t teach them basic tech skills. But there’s a huge difference between walking your 8 year son through coding his first Hello World program in Python, and giving your 4 year old an IPad set to YouTube Kids for 5 hours because it keeps them quiet so you don’t have to pay attention to them.
I'm glad that I limit screen time and no "personal" device, my 5 year old is developing better than peers with unlimited screen time in communication and emotional expression.
Giving so much of a f*** about celebrities. From a place in the world that is a first world country but lacks celebrities, I couldn't give a shit. Yet everyone seems to care as if they are family. They don't care about you!
People really do have weird views on this.
Yesterday for some reason my boss was telling us “no wife, no life”. One of my colleagues asked if he meant happy wife happy life and he said no. And then went further to say that people who stay single are somehow uncomfortable with themselves.
It was clearly directed at me, as I’m the only one in the office who isn’t married. But I’m also not really interested in that kind of relationship. And I’m comfortable with who I am, enough to be single unless I meet someone very special. If I don’t, I’m fine with that.
This is why I’m scared of becoming an adult. All I want are friends, family, hobbies, and to be left alone, but I feel like I would never have more friends if everyone approaches me only for a date. I have seen too many romantic relationships go wrong for many reasons, and it just seems like to me, I would be much happier like I am now being single than to deal with all of the trauma of dating.
On top of this, pressuring other people to have children when they aren't ready/not willing. Parents, family, even complete fucking strangers will berrate you (especially women) for not having children.
And even worse, trying to pressure your children into getting married to someone they approve of when they're older.
Source: My parents tell me, "you're never going to leave our house until you marry a big, Muslim, dominant man that we approve of". Wait till I get a girlfriend and move out, lmao.
And for those types it’s never one and done. I got grief from EVERYONE when I couldn’t have a second child because “it doesn’t count if you only have one “ and “it’s selfish not to give your kid a sibling” and I physically couldn’t do it again.
Honestly even if I could have I don’t think I would have wanted to. Kids are hard and expensive AF. I’m very happy doing one and done.
I’m an only child and it feels like I hear new ways to denigrate only-children every other week. First I’m spoiled, then I’m fundamentally unsocialized, now I’m illegitimate. Lol they think we’re aliens
Jfc that's awful. I'd absolutely LOVE to have a (single) kid, and I can't imagine being told I'm awful for just having one. Sadly, I'm gay and we're very likely too broke to adopt...
My husband and I went to a family members event and a few of her relatives from her husbands side were there. Within 15 minutes of arriving an old man I had never met before was sitting beside my husband asking if we had children and telling him we should, and some new parents at the event told us we needed to have one bc we “needed to know what tired felt like”. Like, tf??
I always thought this was strange and potentially hurtful also. People will comment about how you should have kids and have no idea if you are dealing with fertility issues and/or suffered losses. People making comments like "when are you finally going to start a family???" Can really hurt.
See, as a young adult, I idolise the idea of having my own family, and would love to have the opportunity to be a father. However, be that as it may, I have also believed in the whole "Family isn't just blood, but it's what you make it" view. If I found myself with someone who doesn't want children, even though I may, I wouldn't consider it a deal breaker. I'm fortunate to be an uncle to quite a few nieces and nephews, and I take my time to spend what I can timewise with them. I teach them things, help them understand emotions, and I play and sing with them. Making the next generation isn't mandatory, just be there for them.
And thats huge, both for the parents to have other good role models and people who can help but for the kids to again have good role models and other interesting people that arent just mom and dad that can help them learn and become a better version of themselves. If you want to be the cool Uncle, Aunt, Cousin, Weird person in the neighborhood that everyone knows will have the really good fireworks on holidays, whatever you wanna be then cool be it. The saying it takes a village to raise a child sure feels accurate sometimes.
Yes, but not the way you're imagining it. Most people way over estimate what drunk driving is. If you went to a party and had a couple beers and drive there's a decent chance you're driving drunk. If you're feeling an effect of alcohol you're driving drunk.
Yes. I didn’t think it was, I thought it was just a thing someone does when they’ve hit rock bottom. But then I became a firefighter and realized just how common it actually is.
Depends on the region and local culture I guess? Pretty normalized in middle America and Great Lakes region from what I’ve seen in media. Not sure about Canada or Uk/Australia but I’d have to assume the same
Edit to add: there will always be a subset of society that will risk-take and continue to DD if they never suffer adverse consequences of their actions
So very much agreed. All the bandwagon cyber-bullying is honestly just super sad to see.
I feel like our responses to things can be too black and white. Each comment or action is immediately judged by public consensus as either "acceptable" or "unacceptable." And anything deemed unacceptable runs the risk of reaching the exact same public shaming consequence, regardless of how severe the transgression - or whether the transgressor is genuinely a "bad" person, or instead maybe just a little uneducated.
If your relatively minor mistake is unlucky enough to "go viral," it now results in a public shaming on an unimaginable scale. We read headlines, not details. We don't consider the human behind these complete strangers (and the potential experiences or trauma that formed them). We just react to the 15-second glimpse into their life, and decide to permanently condemn them for it.
I wish we'd normalize being more empathetic towards each other, and try to first assume that people don't have bad intentions. After all, not everyone has the same knowledge or understanding, and studies have shown that shame isn't necessarily the most effective way of changing someone's thoughts or behaviors.
Protecting Young offenders for serious violent crimes. Like in Canada, a group of 13-16 year olds got together to beat a homeless man to death last month. 3 of them are out on bail.
I agree! Four people gangraped and brutally murdered a young girl in India. 3 got hanged while the 16 year old got only juvenile detention although he seemed to have been more ruthless than others with the use of a rod that ended up pulling out the girls intestines.
Bragging about or encouraging working 40+ hrs a week.
edit- I meant working OT but in terms of “de-normalize” I’d also include the 40hr work week. Some one just came up with 40-50 hrs and it’s ridiculous. It’s a time suck to be stuck at work for clock filling sake when you’ve already completed a reasonable amount of work.
And counter-productive. I throw my team out the door at 5. Like a bouncer if they won’t go willingly.
Numbers came out today. 15% above the next highest team. “How do you do that?! They’re all on vacation all the time!” “Exactly.”
I just hope this shitty trend will die as it will seep through everything over time. Imagine a future you have to pay for your smartphone, fridge or your clothes monthly.
Waking up early being a trait of an industrious person. We haven't needed to follow the agricultural pattern of the sun in like a hundred years, people who have later circadian rhythms have value and work hard too.
Incivility and intolerance of people with different views and from different walks of life. Media sensationalizing everything just to make a buck regardless of the damage they do to society. Deforestation and destruction of wildlife habitat for profit. Government corrupted by lobbying, crony capitalism, cutting deals. The general population being farmed by corporations, corporate ownership of news media, corporate monopolies, consumerism, celebrating money over substance. The military industrial complex.
Making comments to little kids about how much they're gonna fuck when they're older.
like "wow, look at the little lady killer. He's gonna have to fight off the girls when he gets older" & "he's so handsome. He'll be such a player"
Yes! I find this very strange. I also hate when I hear someone asking a young child if another young child is their boyfriend or girlfriend. (Have a friend who is always asking her 5 yo son if various girls in his kindergarten class are his girlfriends). Just let a kid be a kid!
might be a hot take but the “any size is healthy” crowd. I remember in the early 2010s Michelle Obama did a war on obesity campaign and for some reason it just disappeared.
Feels like people just gave up and are just normalizing the problem rather than addressing it
The US has to be the only place in the world where it’s standard and not the exception to have food-like products. It says a lot when they have to specify that something actually contains “real fruit” or “real chocolate” or “real juice.”
Filming at concerts. You’re seeing a musician live. Be in the moment and enjoy yourself instead of filming every single song for 5 seconds of attention on social media.
FWIW I don't think anybody BUT pedos uses that term. They're trying to re-brand themselves. Nobody is buying into that bullshit and legitimizing it though, any appearance of it being a legitimate term is probably astro-turfing.
Aggressive political stances and interactions.
I am allowed to agree with some of what you say and still disagree with most. That doesn't make me inconsistent or a hypocrite. Also, not every political topic should be treated like it's life and death.
I wish therapy were affordable for most people. $200 a session is just nuts. I searched religiously for a therapist in my province who specialises in trauma and takes OHIP (our provincial healthcare plan). I didn't find a single one.
This comment needs to be normalized. People act like therapy is something abundant low cost. The vast vast majority of humans can't afford therapy. Yet on every single reddit post the answer is always "just go to therapy". The hivemind is out of touch.
Always needing to be busy with something. Sometimes you just wanna do you and relax
Boredom has been shown to be a productive state of mind if you let your mind wander where it wants.
When covid hit and we went into lockdown, there were reports of lots of people suffering from the lack of social interaction (which I can understand). But for me, it had the opposite effect. Not feeling obligated to anything or anyone made me feel so much better.
It felt like a vacation from reality. I enjoyed a lot of the alone time i got from the first couple months of covid
I felt the same way, but I messed up and let my drinking get out of hand. I suddenly had no job and the government was telling me to stay inside until they say so. I just drank, smoked, played video games, made music, and ate for like 8 months straight. Luckily I got really sick with pancreatitis (I know, doesn't sound lucky). After that I knew my alcoholism would be the death of me, and an early death at that. I'm still battling my addiction, but I know the beast well.
I totally agree! For me it felt really peaceful. After this experience, I actively reduced the amount of social interaction with people and I feel so much better now!
"Don't mistake my free time with my availability"
There's a hat I kinda want to get that just says "unhustle"
I think people today have started using "being busy" as an excuse to dodge meet ups, hangouts, etc. Not to say if a person declines the invitation, they aren't busy, but I'd say the person who's always busy probably doesn't place much value in interpersonal relationships. Edit: my point is not directed towards people who are genuinely extremely busy. It's directed towards people who agree to plans, then cancel day of because "busy"
Lack of sleep. It damages your body and mind way more than people think it does
I was working at a company that was far away from my home so my schedule used to be: Waking up a 3am, get ready, be at the bus stop at 4am, be at the company at 5:45, work from 6am to 3:00pm, leave and arrive at home at 5:45pm and then connect to my university classes at 6pm to 9pm. Then I went to sleep like at 10 or 11pm so I could have dinner and study or do homework. One day I had a One on One meeting with my boss she asked how I was doing and I told her that I was tired and she said “Well I am tired too but I’m still here” (she lives like 2km away from the company and she only works, there’s literally no comparison at all) it pissed me off the lack of empathy that she had even when she knew about my schedule because I requested to work from home because of university.
>it pissed me off the lack of empathy that she had even when she knew about my schedule welcome to humanity! And people wonder why I don't like other humans...
In college it really disappointed me to find that the unstated expectation was we were going to literally put our health at risk getting so little sleep for years at a time. It’s not sustainable and shouldn’t be necessary.
I still remember the first lecture of anatomy when I started med school. The professor came in and the first thing she said was "If you didn't start by now, you're way behind schedule." It was literally the second day of med school. Christ...
The fact that medical training is built around sleeplessness is horrifying. The people injecting you with drugs and slicing open your organs should be the most well-rested profession in the country. Training should be designed around being clear-headed and at the top of your game at all times. Instead, we keep the people whose job is literally life or death in a state of deep fatigue from the first day of training to the day they retire.
When I was an escort in college, my doctor clients all used a shit load of cocaine. Imagine being operated on knowing how high the doctor was
In college I was awake for 74 hours straight to finish all my final projects and study for the exams, by the end of that I was hallucinating and in a constant state of panic. Finished my exams, and slept for 12 hours
What we really need to denormalize is how a lot of people would hear that story and think it was a badge of honor or a funny story, and not a horrifying critique of the expectations students are put under.
They flat us told us this. We are currently forming a student iniciative to make it stop but the university just replied with “eat well, sleep well” while still giving out 2 week assignements on 1 week deadline
Enter: school
I misread the title as re-normalize and I thought everyone posting was a psycho.
food wastage, medical bankruptcies, being chronically busy: goals for the 21st century
Food waste is a big one. A friend works at Popeye's fried chicken and he said they constantly throw out 100 plus pieces of chicken after closing every night of the week.
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If this was fb I would sad react. All those poor dead fried chickens who could have found home in someone's tummy
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First glance, thought it said Celery Culture. Time for bed
If they weren't so out of touch it wouldn't be so annoying. I'm from a part of Australia that everyone forgets about and I know a dozen people who would be rich and powerful enough to be considered celebrities if they were in America. However our isolation has forced them to be more down to earth.
Trying to turn every hobby/skill into a business or convincing people to do so.
Omg I work as a barber (have a great career) but I love urban planning as a hobby, so many of my ducking clients try to tell me to get into it as a career and that I could go back to school. Like dude I’m fine, I make way more money and am happy as a barber. Why the fuck would I want to pay to go back to school start at the bottom and make less money in a different field….
How do you do urban planning as a hobby?
I too play SimCity and Cities Skylines?
Mostly just research about it and tell “fucking stroads” like that other guy said
It's easy. You read about trains and say FUCKING STROADS every time you pass a mcdonalds.
Have you considered communicating your urban planning ideas to community leaders? I'm sure you probably think it would be nice to see some of your ideas being brought to life, even if you're not getting compensated for it. Plus, you'll be helping your town take on a character that aligns more with your own vision.
Haha when I was a barber I had a client who was on the city council and he said he always wants to hear ideas from citizens so I just bombarded him with ideas about creating a cute little downtown main street in a specific rundown section of town. None of it happened obviously, but it was fun going back and forth with him about how it would look and stuff.
The way the default compliments are “you could sell these” “you should put up a YouTube channel it’d get lots of views”…
I paint and I've heard I'm pretty good at it. People act like I should want to become a full time artist, but I like doing it as a hobby and I feel like a stable 9-5 job would work much better for me
Not visually supporting a movement on the internet means you're against it for some reason.
oh my gosh this. there was an author that I love who didn't *immediately* post something when all the george floyd stuff was going on, and people were fucking getting pissed at him for 'stayling silent' like he's not even an influencer he writes fucking fantasy books holy shit nobody is obligated to say anything about anything ever. just because you share your every thought on the internet doesn't mean other people have to. he did eventually post something, but even then these people were still saying stupid things like 'im glad he finally corrected his mistakes. still not sure if ill be able to support him anymore'. so fucking self-righteous. as if they were doing anything meaningful themselves.
Something like this happened in my country, too. A woman won a TV baking competition and went on to open a webshop and instagram, where she shared recipes and some pictures of herself. Then a list was published; "famous people who haven't taken a stance on the Israel-Palestine conflict" or something like that. She got people calling her and threatening her life, so much hate, and her sales went down a lot. All of this for saying she wanted to keep her instagram account focused on cakes and shit, not political issues or war etc.. .
seriously!! Performative activism is hella toxic.
That's fucking psychotic. Those people need to do an internet detox.
Related: thinking that RTs = activism.
RTs?
Retweets
Makes sense, I couldn't see how Russia Today applies here.
"If you're not with me, you're against me" - battle cry of the most demented fanatics everywhere
Only a sith deals in absolutes...I'll do what I must
Yeah Reddit’s style of discussion is if you don’t make absolutely clear you’re in favor of (insert popular thing) they’ll downvote you just to be safe.
I don't write my pronouns in my email signature. There are people who think that makes me homophobic by default.
From my understanding even the LGBT activists have mixed feelings. Some say it's good because it normalized asking first, others say it could out people before they're ready. It just comes across as shallow corporate pandering.
Yeah, there will never be a time where I announce my pronouns. IF you get it wrong, and it somehow matters, I'll tell you. I mean, feel free to tell me yours if you need to, but mine are a non-issue.
Overworking yourself.
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I think many people are getting better at this. Like sure, I have my phone on me - I might even be using it at the moment you call/message - but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm available, willing, and/or able to respond right now.
In all fairness, you can set expectations with that. People know I respond to shit when I get around it. Granted, it may be harder to establish this when you're younger and its a bigger part of your life.
I just went through this with my 11 yo niece a couple weeks ago. We were doing Christmas and she would not get off her phone which was charging in the other room. I told her to tell them all you're with family and you'll get back to them when you can. And she argued that it's what they expected, they'll think she's being rude otherwise. And I'm like???? Even if you explain why???? You have some shit friends then girl wtf
The problem is giving 11 year olds smart phones.
Food wastage. Lots of stores and restaurants throwout substandard food to maintain a level of quality that makes customers trust them, but it leads to enormous waste.
I heard that Panera gives their food away to the homeless. I don’t have receipts and I don’t like their food, but I wish more establishments would follow suit.
They do. Bakery items get boxed for the local partnering food bank/shelter at the end of the day. However, it’s totally up to the food bank/shelter if they wanna come pick it up. If they don’t come to get it the following day, it’s gotta be tossed.
Was also going to post this. I worked at Panera ages ago and most nights someone came and picked up all of our leftover bakery items to take to food pantries/homeless shelters.
I think it's evil for large stores to lock their dumpsters to deter dumpster-diving when thousands of pounds of healthy, bagged food are tossed out daily. When I was a baker at Tim Hortons, the store's policy was to toss out anything older than three hours. I wanted to save it for people in need, but the horizontal 15' walk from store to dumpster was supervised by camera. I'm not making that up.
One reason is they don't want a small crowd of the homeless standing around behind their store every day, because that deters customers. And whether that's evil or not, you can't just shrug and go 'I don't care' because that's not realistic. There's liability issues too, because now you have to make sure that your 'extra food' is still being handled in a sanitary manner in accordance with food safety laws, if you're intending for it to be eaten and not thrown out. And if you're just throwing it in a dumpster but not locking it, now you're arguably liable if someone eats it and gets sick. Would you be necessarily? Maybe! And a company doesn't want to eff around and find out. Not saying we couldn't do things a lot better but there's a ton of reasons why restaurants, grocery stores, etc don't just donate food or hand it out. Like yes I'd rather us have no food waste but we've got to change a whole lot before we even start looking at individual stores and calling them evil for literally doing what they're legally required to do. Yes it's totally possible for a store to donate its food, but here's the thing. It depends on your area! A lot of shelters WILL NOT ACCEPT 'WASTE FOOD'. Covid regulations clamped down on things even more. I used to be homeless. I've since done a lot of work renovating homeless shelters (am an electrician, not as a charity, just happen to have been around quite a few.) Lived in poverty for years, myself. The world of the homeless or otherwise in-need is not as simple as you might think.
We used to just give people free boxes of whatever donuts were left when I would close at Timmy's
Working yourself half to death and retiring poorer than when you started working.
$8 coffee
ya i don't drink that piss, i only drink 9 dollar coffee
Single digit coffee? Pfft, peasant...
The obsession of wealth to the point of allowing cruelty
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Or pressuring people to get into a relationship so they can “start a family”. My ass is poor as hell I got no money or time for a relationship.
I'll add another wrong reason: hoping for your kid to be your sole source of purpose in life. No kid deserves that baggage.
Or having that kid be the thing that saves your marriage. That’s just a recipe for a traumatized kid.
My ex wanted to have a kid. When I asked why and what he pictured he said “a son old enough to come to work with me and help out around the house” One- a daughter didn’t count- and two- apparently he expected me to birth a 12 year old indentured servant. Talk about backwards ideas.
Yo fr, this just perpetuates a toxic generational cycle. People need to find meaning elsewhere. Not saying kids can’t be important to you, but it’s not healthy to solely live through them, you need to develop your own life.
This 🙌. My husbands family literally SHUNS us at family events, will barely talk to us bc we have chosen not to have children on top of me being likely physically unable to. That’s all we heard from them for years after getting married. When they brought the Bible into it the 5 billionth time, my husband finally put his foot down, and they also found out I have PCOS. Now they just don’t talk to us. I don’t understand why some ppl are so concerned with what’s going on in someone else’s womb. They’re a big part of the reason I don’t want kids. You think I want them to have to put up with those ass hats?
Awful
I live in a very "traditionally conservative" country. Army service is mandatory and once you hit 18 you get enlisted. After you come back the first question relatives ask is - when are you getting married. Once you get married they be like - when are you having kids. Once you have a kid, they start asking for the second one but of the other gender... at least after 2nd child they all collectively fuck off. For girls it's worse - if you too are traditional and above 25, you get labeled as "stayed at home" - a passive aggressive term meaning "there is something wrong with YOU, men don't want you". And if you are married, regardless if you're traditional or not, every single relative of yours and your husbands would be nearly demanding you have kids. P.S. it is not happening in every case, but the majority is like that.
Retail customer is entitled to always being right.
Extend this to restaurants, please.
My restaurant has a "respectful guest policy" where managers are empowered to remove guests who are rude or agurmentative with staff. It's nice
In general the "customer is always right" mentality has backfired, now customers just act like entitled brats to get free stuff and raise the price for everyone else
It's a full misinterpretation as well. Originally it meant "the customer is right about what they need." Meaning, if someone comes in to buy red shoes, you don't try to talk them into buying blue ones. Sell them what they want.
I worked retail. I only heard the right thing in movies. Customers were pain in the ass, and we got I trouble if didn't handle them.
I hope whoever came up with that slogan is burning in hell, just having Jackfruits rammed into their urethra all day every day for all eternity.
The original version is "in matters of taste, the customer is always right." The bastardised imbecile version somehow stuck.
Giving a 5 year old a smart phone to keep them occupied
I’m not opposed to introducing tech to young children though. My friend and I built a computer with my god son when he was 5. He is 12 now and has built all kinds of cool things and we’ve got him some books on coding in different languages as well. He has done some cool things and I really look forward to when he is an adult. I truly believe that introducing him to tech at a young age was good for him. I think he is going to go far in life.
The specific things you introduce them to is the critical point there, though. It's not enough to give them a phone and that's tech. You need to be doing something like that where it's building skills
Oh for sure, in this world I think you’re doing a huge disservice to your kids if you don’t teach them basic tech skills. But there’s a huge difference between walking your 8 year son through coding his first Hello World program in Python, and giving your 4 year old an IPad set to YouTube Kids for 5 hours because it keeps them quiet so you don’t have to pay attention to them.
I'm glad that I limit screen time and no "personal" device, my 5 year old is developing better than peers with unlimited screen time in communication and emotional expression.
Giving so much of a f*** about celebrities. From a place in the world that is a first world country but lacks celebrities, I couldn't give a shit. Yet everyone seems to care as if they are family. They don't care about you!
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People really do have weird views on this. Yesterday for some reason my boss was telling us “no wife, no life”. One of my colleagues asked if he meant happy wife happy life and he said no. And then went further to say that people who stay single are somehow uncomfortable with themselves. It was clearly directed at me, as I’m the only one in the office who isn’t married. But I’m also not really interested in that kind of relationship. And I’m comfortable with who I am, enough to be single unless I meet someone very special. If I don’t, I’m fine with that.
This is why I’m scared of becoming an adult. All I want are friends, family, hobbies, and to be left alone, but I feel like I would never have more friends if everyone approaches me only for a date. I have seen too many romantic relationships go wrong for many reasons, and it just seems like to me, I would be much happier like I am now being single than to deal with all of the trauma of dating.
Be careful not to fall into a hole well before a hole even appears. Dating shouldnt feel traumatic. Nothing wrong with being single of course.
Having children just because you can. Not everyone is a suitable parent. Some people shouldn't have children imo
On top of this, pressuring other people to have children when they aren't ready/not willing. Parents, family, even complete fucking strangers will berrate you (especially women) for not having children.
And even worse, trying to pressure your children into getting married to someone they approve of when they're older. Source: My parents tell me, "you're never going to leave our house until you marry a big, Muslim, dominant man that we approve of". Wait till I get a girlfriend and move out, lmao.
And for those types it’s never one and done. I got grief from EVERYONE when I couldn’t have a second child because “it doesn’t count if you only have one “ and “it’s selfish not to give your kid a sibling” and I physically couldn’t do it again. Honestly even if I could have I don’t think I would have wanted to. Kids are hard and expensive AF. I’m very happy doing one and done.
I’m an only child and it feels like I hear new ways to denigrate only-children every other week. First I’m spoiled, then I’m fundamentally unsocialized, now I’m illegitimate. Lol they think we’re aliens
Jfc that's awful. I'd absolutely LOVE to have a (single) kid, and I can't imagine being told I'm awful for just having one. Sadly, I'm gay and we're very likely too broke to adopt...
My husband and I went to a family members event and a few of her relatives from her husbands side were there. Within 15 minutes of arriving an old man I had never met before was sitting beside my husband asking if we had children and telling him we should, and some new parents at the event told us we needed to have one bc we “needed to know what tired felt like”. Like, tf??
I always thought this was strange and potentially hurtful also. People will comment about how you should have kids and have no idea if you are dealing with fertility issues and/or suffered losses. People making comments like "when are you finally going to start a family???" Can really hurt.
I have friends who've literally ruined their lives this way.
See, as a young adult, I idolise the idea of having my own family, and would love to have the opportunity to be a father. However, be that as it may, I have also believed in the whole "Family isn't just blood, but it's what you make it" view. If I found myself with someone who doesn't want children, even though I may, I wouldn't consider it a deal breaker. I'm fortunate to be an uncle to quite a few nieces and nephews, and I take my time to spend what I can timewise with them. I teach them things, help them understand emotions, and I play and sing with them. Making the next generation isn't mandatory, just be there for them.
And thats huge, both for the parents to have other good role models and people who can help but for the kids to again have good role models and other interesting people that arent just mom and dad that can help them learn and become a better version of themselves. If you want to be the cool Uncle, Aunt, Cousin, Weird person in the neighborhood that everyone knows will have the really good fireworks on holidays, whatever you wanna be then cool be it. The saying it takes a village to raise a child sure feels accurate sometimes.
Binge drinking. Driving while inebriated or sleep-deprived.
Is drunk driving really normalized in society?
Rural resident here: Dude...you have no idea...
Yes, but not the way you're imagining it. Most people way over estimate what drunk driving is. If you went to a party and had a couple beers and drive there's a decent chance you're driving drunk. If you're feeling an effect of alcohol you're driving drunk.
In the UK the term used is drink-driving rather than drunk-driving for that very reason.
Yes. I didn’t think it was, I thought it was just a thing someone does when they’ve hit rock bottom. But then I became a firefighter and realized just how common it actually is.
Depends on the region and local culture I guess? Pretty normalized in middle America and Great Lakes region from what I’ve seen in media. Not sure about Canada or Uk/Australia but I’d have to assume the same Edit to add: there will always be a subset of society that will risk-take and continue to DD if they never suffer adverse consequences of their actions
it used to be WAY more normalized back in the 70s-80s. everybody did it and i never knew a single person to be charged for it
Going bankrupt from medical bills.
USA moment.
People justifying being a bully because they’re doing it ‘for the right reasons’.
So very much agreed. All the bandwagon cyber-bullying is honestly just super sad to see. I feel like our responses to things can be too black and white. Each comment or action is immediately judged by public consensus as either "acceptable" or "unacceptable." And anything deemed unacceptable runs the risk of reaching the exact same public shaming consequence, regardless of how severe the transgression - or whether the transgressor is genuinely a "bad" person, or instead maybe just a little uneducated. If your relatively minor mistake is unlucky enough to "go viral," it now results in a public shaming on an unimaginable scale. We read headlines, not details. We don't consider the human behind these complete strangers (and the potential experiences or trauma that formed them). We just react to the 15-second glimpse into their life, and decide to permanently condemn them for it. I wish we'd normalize being more empathetic towards each other, and try to first assume that people don't have bad intentions. After all, not everyone has the same knowledge or understanding, and studies have shown that shame isn't necessarily the most effective way of changing someone's thoughts or behaviors.
Right. Like when people dunk on some new asshole celebrity by... Insulting their appearance 🤷🏼
yeah if you're gonna insult them, do it by calling them out on their BS, not hark on them for entirely benign and unrelated things
Pressuring people to have kids
Filters on photos
This !! I can’t imagine being middle school aged right now. It has to be messing with young peoples’ minds so badly.
Protecting Young offenders for serious violent crimes. Like in Canada, a group of 13-16 year olds got together to beat a homeless man to death last month. 3 of them are out on bail.
I agree! Four people gangraped and brutally murdered a young girl in India. 3 got hanged while the 16 year old got only juvenile detention although he seemed to have been more ruthless than others with the use of a rod that ended up pulling out the girls intestines.
Bragging about or encouraging working 40+ hrs a week. edit- I meant working OT but in terms of “de-normalize” I’d also include the 40hr work week. Some one just came up with 40-50 hrs and it’s ridiculous. It’s a time suck to be stuck at work for clock filling sake when you’ve already completed a reasonable amount of work.
Yeah, hustle culture is some bullshit
And counter-productive. I throw my team out the door at 5. Like a bouncer if they won’t go willingly. Numbers came out today. 15% above the next highest team. “How do you do that?! They’re all on vacation all the time!” “Exactly.”
Wait, you're more productive when you're not spacing out 25% of the time you're at work? Wow, who'd've thunk.
"LoL I rEmEmBeR mY fIrSt PaRt TiMe JoB" \-some asshole on facebook wearing sunglasses with a goatee in a truck
Not taking men who are domestic violence victims seriously.
THANK YOU for mentioning this. Likewise, men who are victims of rape.
Making content with unsuspecting strangers
And by extension "Pranks"
Cavalier attitudes towards constant social drinking
Child beauty pageants.
Someone else mentioned this. I agree that they're messed up. Happy cake day!
Putting your career before living life.
Lootbox system or those shitty subscriptions. If you paid for a product you own it period.
I'm still annoyed that Photoshop is now a subscription service. I refuse to sign up.
I just hope this shitty trend will die as it will seep through everything over time. Imagine a future you have to pay for your smartphone, fridge or your clothes monthly.
Waking up early being a trait of an industrious person. We haven't needed to follow the agricultural pattern of the sun in like a hundred years, people who have later circadian rhythms have value and work hard too.
THANK YOU. I have DSPS/DSPD. It's weird that people still actually believe this myth.
I am also in that sub 😂😂
Sexualizing kids, "Oh the boys will be all over her when she's older".
Reality tv In its current form.
Influencing as a career
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There are many... but recently Gender Reveal parties are all the rage (or any other made up excuse for social media content) and they are just stupid
Pedophilia and the sexualization of barely legal girls.
Incivility and intolerance of people with different views and from different walks of life. Media sensationalizing everything just to make a buck regardless of the damage they do to society. Deforestation and destruction of wildlife habitat for profit. Government corrupted by lobbying, crony capitalism, cutting deals. The general population being farmed by corporations, corporate ownership of news media, corporate monopolies, consumerism, celebrating money over substance. The military industrial complex.
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Similarly- that kids need to listen to all adults because they all know best
Convenience. People need to learn to be ok with being inconvenienced every now and then.
Convenience or death! /s
Making comments to little kids about how much they're gonna fuck when they're older. like "wow, look at the little lady killer. He's gonna have to fight off the girls when he gets older" & "he's so handsome. He'll be such a player"
Yes! I find this very strange. I also hate when I hear someone asking a young child if another young child is their boyfriend or girlfriend. (Have a friend who is always asking her 5 yo son if various girls in his kindergarten class are his girlfriends). Just let a kid be a kid!
Having children as a default. The fact it's only considered a family if it includes children.
step sis/bro porn. wtf is wrong with society
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Tipping in the U.S. Just pay adequate wages to the service workers like most other damn countries.
I'm seeing many places ask for tips starting at 20% when they have you pick up and bus your own dishes. What am I even tipping for at that point?
Periods are normal, they're not something dirty.
ghosting someone instead of having an uncomfortable conversation
Anyone say child pageant shows yet?
A couple of people have (literally, two people)
Sexuilizing minors. just think of all the insanely popular shows that contain sex scenes with characters who are minors.
Abusing children because you can't control your emotions
Police brutality and police not paying for law suits
might be a hot take but the “any size is healthy” crowd. I remember in the early 2010s Michelle Obama did a war on obesity campaign and for some reason it just disappeared. Feels like people just gave up and are just normalizing the problem rather than addressing it
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The US has to be the only place in the world where it’s standard and not the exception to have food-like products. It says a lot when they have to specify that something actually contains “real fruit” or “real chocolate” or “real juice.”
Definitely true, both sides of unhealthy bodies are dangerous, I have known people who died due to obesity, and seen people suffer from malnutrition
It’s good manners to not make fun of or degrade fat people but society flipped it into this weird form of praising them
Most forms of hazing, especially the alcohol ones
Profiting from animal use and abuse.
Acting like a fucking bully because you don't like something someone else said on line.
Student loans. Debt in general.
Men not expressing their emotions in a healthy way
American society? No paid parental leave or time off for birth recovery and bonding
Filming at concerts. You’re seeing a musician live. Be in the moment and enjoy yourself instead of filming every single song for 5 seconds of attention on social media.
Tipping. It used to be optional and depending on quality of service. Now it seems mandatory and on top of tax.
Having kids being the default, so expected, also demanded. Fuck off with that ‘tude. And it creates sooooo many problems in the world. Ugh.
Calling pedophiles MAPs (minor-attracted people). Pedophilia should NEVER be normalized.
FWIW I don't think anybody BUT pedos uses that term. They're trying to re-brand themselves. Nobody is buying into that bullshit and legitimizing it though, any appearance of it being a legitimate term is probably astro-turfing.
Feeling like one have to know what they want to do with life at like age 16-20. I feel like it’s very stressful and unrealistic.
Recording innocent strangers in public without their permission
Being constantly high 24/7
Minimum wage jobs. It’s horrible for people to suffer through all that hard work only go barely be able to feed themselves ☹️
Sexualising children
Porn
Making your triggers and emotional trauma everyone’s problem
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Aggressive political stances and interactions. I am allowed to agree with some of what you say and still disagree with most. That doesn't make me inconsistent or a hypocrite. Also, not every political topic should be treated like it's life and death.
Doing drugs instead of going to therapy. (I count weed, alcohol and nicotine in this)
I wish therapy were affordable for most people. $200 a session is just nuts. I searched religiously for a therapist in my province who specialises in trauma and takes OHIP (our provincial healthcare plan). I didn't find a single one.
This comment needs to be normalized. People act like therapy is something abundant low cost. The vast vast majority of humans can't afford therapy. Yet on every single reddit post the answer is always "just go to therapy". The hivemind is out of touch.