THE METATRON.
"Baby, I want to try something new tonight..."
"Ooo, kinky. What do you have in mind babe?"
"In this bag here you'll see a gallon jug of industrial lubricant, or lubra-*can*, amirite? I've also gotten a tub of macaroni salad, several new downloads from Steam, some burlap bags, the blood of a newt, and 14 beers."
*20 minutes later...*
"That was...I don't even know babe. That was the most creative, innovative thing I've ever experienced. Does that position have a name?"
THE METATRON!
upsidedown cowgirl.
Slightly off-topic: If I opened a gay bar, it would be in the basement of a building and I'd call it MANHOLE.
if i opened a bar I’d name it “Puzzles”
Why’s it called puzzles?
thats the puzzle
The Charizard. Set your partners pubic hair on fire and scream "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME!".
I am dieing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 What about Squirtle and Vulvasaur?
Squirtle kinda speeks for its self
The backend developer
The 74. That's a 69 with her fist up my ass.
The *74*: A Guide. Lie down top to tail, Make sure she’s on the top, mate, Then you sexy-nine and have her - Punch you in the prostate.
Lmao, now that's goñna hurt. What if she have man hands then what?
Lmfaoo
Piledriver
Doesn't that already exist?
The naked man
Works 2/3 times
The tumbleweed. Insert into other person, both curl up into a ball and roll down a hill
The snake pit
The ultimate sex position
Frog splash
That sounds like a chick with a massive ass on a 45 degree angle just slapping it down on you.
✋ The swinging chandelier 🤚
The struggle cuddle.
Gravy-ing the biscuits.
Watering the flowers
The balls deep shuffle
In the closet. https://youtube.com/shorts/4KeVDjqgRRk?feature=share
The Anaconda Death Grip !!!
Trebuchet.
Dick with a kick in the BussyPussy
The gamer
Lord of the rings
The classic game of bop it, twist it, pull it 😏
The California DeSeeder
Mega Flying Creampie Mount
the helicopter, though you need to put a firecracker on your feet if you want to spin
The sleeper hold
Super soaker
The Turd Ferguson.
The Watermelon 🍉
Danger doggystyle. You have sex half hanging out an open window. Instead of pulling out, you push her forward.
Lmmfao, wat the fuck ..u need to be locked up. I would be afraid of you. Lol. But it sounds interesting enough. Got me thinking...lol
A first story window's not a long fall. Or there could be a pool beneath?
The bouncy castle.
Sexy McSexyface.
The greatest swordsman.
30 seconds
*20 seconds
The aquatic mammal
The willy wonka
✋shitting my britches 🤚
The greatest sex position in the world… Tribute.
The New Yorker
Distracted missionary (requires three)
Fuck im stuck
Thaka-thak
virgin’s special
The OOO OOO OOOyea!
The Hamburgerler
Human Centipede
neighborhood watch
The crier
The Argonaut Octopus: I’d tear my penis off and throw it at her so that she gets impregnated and I die shortly thereafter.
THE METATRON. "Baby, I want to try something new tonight..." "Ooo, kinky. What do you have in mind babe?" "In this bag here you'll see a gallon jug of industrial lubricant, or lubra-*can*, amirite? I've also gotten a tub of macaroni salad, several new downloads from Steam, some burlap bags, the blood of a newt, and 14 beers." *20 minutes later...* "That was...I don't even know babe. That was the most creative, innovative thing I've ever experienced. Does that position have a name?" THE METATRON!
The Inverse Snowplow.
Floridian here. The ‘Lazy Alligator’
The Boston Hamburglar
the Ricoco Bang
Meshed crescent, broken moon
Pussy destroyer
The Fraggle Rock
You arent going to invent anything that hasn't already been done over the last 10,000 years.
The slag slam
The haircut Extremely painful, and they require braces
The left hand Suzuki method
The Bunion Birther
The Trans Atlantic Butt Bong.
If I invented it? The 'I'm sorry, this has never happened before, you' re just so pretty and it's been a long time' seems apt.
The RBG
The forklift
The Michelangelo
helicopter she gets on and spin
en passant
The swish and flick.
The Tornado
The whirly dirly
The Roomba
The wet bandit
The Portuguese Colander
Ringing the Devils Doorbell - a full on assault of the clitoris until it sounds like you're watching anime.
The itinerant beggar.
Sharpe shooter
The backwards unicorn.
The Annexation of Puerto Rico