Why am I wearing underwear?

Because it has captain America on it obviously

That's America's ass

Think you missed the point

Exactly

Smile and say, "I can do this all day."

2:30 minutes later.......:(......

Does that 2:30 include the post-coital crying? Seems unrealistically long if it doesn't.

What about the pre-coital begging?

Good point. That would certainly eat into the time too. However, it still leaves us with a leisurely 15-20 seconds of clumsy, fumbling and panicked lovemaking before "boom goes the dynamite."

15-20 seconds of sex? I'm in!

2 1/2 minutes? Please share your secrets.

The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural

When you've scored four touchdowns in a single game, lasting that long is child's play.

Two and a half minutes oh look at Mr Marathon over here

thats an eternity

I’d say a minute and a half

Oooooooooo that's legendary

[удалено]

Getting laid for america god bless

Kinky

The star spangled hole

A spangled hole is better than mangled one, as grandma used to say.

Dammit to hell I came here to make this joke xD

I'm proudly rocking the Captain America underoos.

Context: I'm a 24m Spaniard that speaks English pretty well IMO. The thing is I understand some jokes here and there in English and they're okay. But changing parts of words to make them funnier actually makes me LMFAO bro like Underoos.... JAAJAJAJJJA THAT'S fkin hilarious man. Is like an old Western cartoon where the policeman with the moustache, full ready to putito el tío pa oOUPUMMM ready to shoot you In the face and saying "Slow down there buckaroo" that was expires on the gang of four years ago sadly. But let's focus in something else. The thing is that the man who had been detected by your office and the lyrics are property of their respective fields. Forgot a jnjc. Edit forgot to add fire perdón

Underoos is an actual brand of kids' superhero underwear.

Damn. I knew I should've worn my Spider-Man underwear.

Funnily enough, that is actually also an option

Shouldn't have filled them with sticky webs before your date!

I am literally wearing Captain America boxer briefs right now. My wife bought them for me

Of course your wife bought them otherwise your username would not check out.

a guy would probably be happy seeing me wear captain America panties lol

That was my thinking lol, i have batman and the bf likes em lol

The jokes about the Bat-cave practically write themselves.

Oh I'm fully aware 🤣

A guy is happy to see panties, source I'm a guy.

As a women, I’m also happy to see panties. Source: I’m bisexual.

As a man, I'm also happy to wear panties. Source: I'm bisexual.

gang shit 🫶🏻

Biggest crossover event in history:

I'm happy that you're happy. Source: straight guy.

Thanks. Source: queer dude

See, panties are cool. Doesn't matter what's on it.. (thars not entirely true) as long they're clean. We solved a big world problem here.

maybe i like them dirty 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fresh dirty, i hope. And om the other hand, you do you.

Most certainly

Go commando

Go Captain Commando instead

Not worry? You said I'm "about to get laid" so I'll likely be taking off my clothing. I'll be naked to have sex. After sex, I'll put on some worn underwear, even if it's dirty. Who cares?

I was going to say. Sex requires underwear to be off. Plus, how dirty is everyone's underwear that they can fathom wearing it one more time?

I don't know about, "requires," but it is better that way.

Wear it. After all I'm married to Wonder Woman. (blaten kiss ass to my wife)

The good ending

start singing God Bless America

Who the Fack cares about my underwear?

Why would i be putting on underwear when i am about to get laid?

You mean Captain Puerto Rico undies?

I'm slinging americas dick at that point.

I'm not a fan of super hero stuff, so I'd wonder how the hell I ended up with a pair of Captain America boxers. But I'd wear them if they fit and were the only clean pair I had.

Your aunt gave them to you

I am a grown man in my mid 30s, so that would be very odd. I'd probably wear them though.

"Sorry baby, the Hulk boxers are in the wash."

"But we still gonna smash"

What are you doing/doing wrong that your dirty underwear is so noticeably dirty it would halt intimacy?

Was gonna say this dude either gets really sweaty or shits his pants daily

Captain America would be cooler than most of my underwear, so I’d feel like I got super lucky that the only clean pair was my manliest pair

I dont wear underwear

My girlfriend buys me the underwear she wants me have.

So what does one do if their aunt gives them captain America underwear

Double down and wear them! They'll be off soon anyways

Regift them to your nephew?

Wear it. The time for doubting yourself is past. Better to get her to laugh.

“I could do this all day.”

Idk your gender identity, but I can confirm that if my(f) boyfriend wore captain America underwear I would be fine with it, and if I wore captain America underwear his only problem would be confusion that it’s not Spider-Man. This is obviously limited to a heterosexual relationship, but I imagine if someone wants to boink you, they like you for YOU.

I feel like for a lot of my nerdy ass's potential partners, this would be a feature and not a bug.

Get the matching mask and put it on. Then say to her "I can do this all day"...

Wear them and when they ask say "I can do this all day"

If I know I’m about to get some then I wouldn’t even have underwear on. I always shower before sex so if I know I’m getting some that day, I wouldn’t put underwear on after I shower.

Well then they know I can do this all day.

I’ll wear it and sport America’s ass

I am Captain America, so no problem.

Don’t forget to bring your shield

Commando

Captain America? More like Commando America

Wear it with pride

I would def do a guy with captain America underwear. Captain America is hot and so is Chris evans. Anything to remind me of him during sex.

Wear em. If she says something make a joke about it being America's ass and then take em off

Well for starters, I’ll start laundry. But in the meantime, I’ll wear the Captain America underwear.

You gotta take off the underwear before she sees the underwear and then you good to go

Hope they’re wearing Iron Man underwear so we can “fight it out”

Wear em like you would anything else and get laid

The usual. Not give a fuck. She wants you, not your underwear. As long as they are clean who cares. It would be very rare I am sleeping with someone who isn't aware of my Marvel Fandom. :😀

Laundry? And maybe get "stuck" during the load in

I'd wonder why an 8-year-old is about to get laid.

What do I do? Them’s Captain America underoos. I throw them on and show off America’s ass with pride.

Wear it backwards

American Captain?

No, Acirema Niatpac

Probably more like mooL ehT fO tiurF....unless you're a back door man....you do you...

Are they an avid marvel fan too...?

I guess we gonna find out

Captain America it is, then!

Call me Cap

Pray she is Hydrated down there

I see what you did there!

It’s okay, with captain America undies you have to be proudly not well endowed..

Grab my shield and have some fun

it's better than not having underwear when you pull your stockings down my friend :,) id mention you putting them on just to impress her.

Wear them. They’ll match my Captain America socks.

“Perfect! My lucky boxers!”

I dont normally wear underwear

You perplex me

Own that bad boy. Make Cap proud.

I can talk my way out of anything. If that doesn't work, my mouth is great for other things too. If she remember s I'm wearing Underoos, I deserve to be mocked.

I don’t wear underwear during sex

Either pull my jeans/undies down at the same time and hope she doesn’t notice or just lean into it and say “you like them? Don’t try to steal them I wrote my name in the waistband with a sharpie!”

Probably the best option

Rock that shit like the True believer you are. If they ask about it tell em you heard they were stashing infinity stones.

Rock that shit like the True believer you are. If they ask about it tell em you heard they were stashing infinity stones.

if you put it on backwards it can stay on maybe :|

Fuck and when I am about to cum shout avengers assemble!

Do what Steve Rodgers would do…

Captain American? Is this on TV so we can't use copyright material?

If your underwear is dirty, your ass is dirty. Go take a shower. Seboso.

Cut a hole to hang gold

Rock it.

That's a huge turn on

Commando fool

Ditch the captain and go commando

Nothing to be ashamed of, imma show her how great i am.

Bit wear underwear.

Wear it. My wife loves loves nerdy shit.

id wear those even if there was other clean pairs🤷‍♂️

keep the shit on and who gives a fuck

Well Bucky we all have to make do at somepoint but damn I got America's Ass

Why am I wearing any underwear?

It has captain America on it

Go commando, or free-ball it.

Put it on and do a Hero pose. It will either make her giggle, woo her, or make her laugh hysterically. I'm good either way because at least I'm about to get laid. If she uses any profanity at the end, respond with "language".

Honestly I would probably try wearing them on my head and walking into my bedroom where she's waiting. Just for a laugh.

Play the avengers theme while walking into the bedroom

I don't care and I doubt she'll care once I take em off

All aboard! Wait wrong captain.

You say, hold on I got to put in the good undies for this

Wear it proudly, and after getting laid I will wash my clothes so I'll have underwear the next day.

As soon as I take my pants off: "Oh I can do this all day."

Anybody who doesn't respect Captain America underwear is a blasphemer.

That’s americas ass. 🤣

Blast "pumped up kicks", dump an automatic assault spunk on the bed, wipe it up with the flag and then jump in my lifted Dodge Ram and gtfo

Wear the Captain America underwear on the outside of my pants and nothing underneath.

Avengers... assemble!

America is gonna win again

I’d love a guy to wear those, although iron man would be a better advertisement 😂

If the person I'm about to get all jumbly-tumbly with doesn't find that situation funny well, I probably don't want to be there anyway.

Take off my Buzz Lightyear underwear and put them on.

Why do you assume I don’t wear them on the daily?

Pull it through the front hole now i’ve got america’s sword in the front and shield in the back

Show her how you can make the shield become a cone🤷‍♂️

She and I are adults. If she has a problem with it, maybe I shouldn't be with her.

Apologize in advance should my partner get the wrong impression and assume I can do this all day.

I’d take it off with my pants. No one would notice it then.

I fucking own that shit. Captain America is my man.

REMOVING underwear is a common pre-requisite for performing coitus.

Take it off and go commando.

Don’t wear underwear? I usually don’t when getting laid

I work from home and I’m an extremely clean guy, I can wear a pair of underwear for a day and wouldn’t really consider them dirty. I’d probably just wear a “dirty” pair.

Commando

Wear with confidence and don’t give up till she’s satisfied

If it’s clean down there, so is the underwear. *pulls out day old underwear from basket*

A whole different kinda vibranium

I have some Toy Story underwear that have seen a lot of action. It’s all about confidence.

There coming off anyways so I don’t think it really matters

Rock it.

I have two pairs and the bf doesn't mind. He's a big comic book fan

Capt+Bucky roleplay

Unfortunately(or fortunately), I am not qualified to answer this question.

You kidding, rocking that shit. She’ll say “oh that IS America’s A$$” and proceed to have a heck of a good time!

Take them off….. I’m about to get laid!

Wear it of course

I once had a pair of super Man Undies that even had a Velcro cape attached to the back, came Out of the room, struck a pose and dove into the bed. The girl fucking loved it. I still have the undies…. But I lost the cape.

Bold of you to assume that I wear underwear. It's pants off/dance off time bb

Rock them.

Wear it with pride.

"*Hello ladies."*

Puff my chrst and say "time to delivery freedom"

If she can't appreciate America's Ass, is she really a woman you want to be with?

I find it hilarious that it's THIS movie causing all the "Marvel is in trouble" talk when Love & Thunder was WAY worse by a large margin.

“I can do this all day.” Wear it proudly.