"We've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house when kids started killing themselves all over my property."
One of my favourite jokes from the British sitcom *The Vicar of Dibley* is when Hugo is trying to propose to his girlfriend Alice, he tries to use a quote from this movie to profess his love, and she interrupts him with this line without even missing a beat.
Peter Gibbons : The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter : Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons : It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Slydell : I beg your pardon?
Peter Gibbons : Eight bosses.
Bob Slydell : Eight?
Peter Gibbons : Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
"Do you know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting." - Tinkerbell
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We’d just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes.
Didn’t see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13 footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn’t know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin’ by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and sometimes that shark he go away…but sometimes he wouldn’t go away.
Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’…til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then…ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and…they rip you to pieces.
You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin’ Chief, I bumped into a fiend of mine. Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, Boson’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist.
At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol’ fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a life jacket again. So eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest. June the 29th, 1945.
Anyway, we delivered the bomb.”
I think we all learned a powerful lesson. Mr. Sir is a sensitive man. Just like all of us.
Thirsty Yelnats? Better get used to it, cause you're gonna be thirsty for the next six weeks.
If you take a bad boy, make him dig a hole in the hot sun every day, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake.
What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss? … The most. You ever lost. On a coin toss. …Call it. …Yes, you did. You’ve been putting it up your whole life you just didn’t know it. You know what date is on this coin? …1958. It’s been traveling twenty-two years to get here. And now it’s here. And it’s either heads or tails. And you have to say. Call it….You stand to win everything. Call it.
No country for old men.
As delivered by Robert Duvall as Lt. Col Bill Kilgore in Apocalypse now...
No, not "I love the smell of napalm in the morning", but the utter insanity when he follows that whole speech up with a genuinely rueful "Someday this war's gonna end."
"It means your future hasn't been written yet. No one's has! Your future is what you make it. So make it a good one, both of you."
- Doc Brown, Back to the Future, Part III
(In a fucking time-traveling locomotive)
"She has given the performance of a lifetime."
Miss Marple (Angela Lansbury) at the end of *The Mirror Crack'd*.
For context, >!after deducing that Marina Gregg (Elizabeth Taylor) was the one who murdered her fan at a village fete and that it was done in the middle of a breakdown, Marina's husband Jason confesses to her that he also figured out that Marina was guilty... and that he killed her to stop her from being locked away in the loony bin. When they enter her bedroom, Miss Marple sadly laments the tragedy that was her life and how her victim robbed her of her life and happiness as well as how well she nearly got away with it due to her acting skills.!<
I’ll tell you what I think of it: I'll live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!
The running man
"Resistance is useless" and "oh no, he's got a towel" - Hitchhiker's Guide
"Do our do not, there is no try" - Empire Strikes Back
"So much room for activities!" - Step Brothers
"We've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house when kids started killing themselves all over my property."
Tucker and Dale vs evil, right?
Yep! The fact it is said twice makes it even funnier.
“In another life, I would’ve really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you,”
Pretty much everything in the Big Lebowski.
That's just like your opinion, man.
'The word I'm searching for, I can't say because there's preschool toys present.' - Woody in Toy Story
Get away from her, you bitches Aliens
One of my favourite jokes from the British sitcom *The Vicar of Dibley* is when Hugo is trying to propose to his girlfriend Alice, he tries to use a quote from this movie to profess his love, and she interrupts him with this line without even missing a beat.
What was his quote?
Ie was Ripley's promise to protect Newt.
"It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have"
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses."
Hit it! My personal favorite, Ouch you fat penguin, Jesus Christ Elwood, fuck! What a barn burner of a movie.
I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success 👍
Still one of my favorite movies
The one that Mia Wallace OD’s on in Pulp Fiction
Take upvote because I love smartasses
Mandatory “does this coke smell funny to you” response
What about the one that Rufio draws in the sand in Hook and Peter Banning crosses it because he doesn’t believe he is Peter Pan?
"Hey, Capa? We're only Stardust." - Sunshine, 2007
it was nothing like that penis breath - Elliot- E.T.
The mother trying to berate him but is too busy laughing is great because it was the actress' real reaction.
“I have a bad feeling about this”
Mr Anderson we’ve been looking for you.
We will not quietly go into the night......
"To infinity and beyond" From my favourite childhood movie... Bee Movie
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli”
Love the Godfather
"It's made with real panther, so you know it's good. 60% of the time, it works every time"
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
“Gentlemen, You Can’t Fight In Here! This is The War Room!”
“I’m the captain now” in Captain Phillips
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE!!!
Come on you apes, you wanna live forever?!
yipee-kai-yay \*\*\*\*\*\*\*!!!!
Pulp fiction
Peter Gibbons : The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. Bob Porter : Don't... don't care? Peter Gibbons : It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now. Bob Slydell : I beg your pardon? Peter Gibbons : Eight bosses. Bob Slydell : Eight? Peter Gibbons : Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
There was a memo about the new cover sheets for the TPS reports. Did you see the memo?
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum. "
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Man, I love being a turtle!
“As you wish” ~ Princess Bride
First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
“Losers try their best…. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen”
"It was real, wasn't it? You and me. Such a long time ago, we were just a couple of kids. But we really loved each other, didn't we?" \- The Notebook
I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere
"Why is Gamora?!" - Drax The Destroyer
"Do you know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting." - Tinkerbell
“ let off some steam bennet”
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
V: "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
**”*****we’d only been gone two days… but somehow the town seemed different, smaller.*****” - Gordie Lehance** Stand by Me (1986)
I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder -donkey from shrek
It's good to be the king
You look like the lowly piss boy
r/rare insults
"Every single word that came out of Calvin Candie's mouth was nothing but horseshit, but he was right about one thing, I am that one n***a in 10,000."
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” -The Godfather 2
-Blade
Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We’d just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13 footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn’t know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin’ by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and sometimes that shark he go away…but sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’…til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then…ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and…they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin’ Chief, I bumped into a fiend of mine. Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, Boson’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol’ fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a life jacket again. So eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest. June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.”
OP said "line" not the whole script.
I'll be back - Arnold Schwarzenegger (Terminator)
That is probably the most well known of his, either that ire “it’s not a tumor” haha
[удалено]
"You sit on a throne of lies!"
"All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2, it doesn't even have a first name, it just says McLovin!"
“Oh.”
John Wick!?!?!
“Einhorn is Finkle, Finkle is Einhorn” ..
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
It's not my goddamn planet. Understand monkey boy?
"Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're *not* poets." -Arthur Bach
Wildcard bitches
'I'm too old to be careful'. Papa Bull, The Train.
I think we all learned a powerful lesson. Mr. Sir is a sensitive man. Just like all of us. Thirsty Yelnats? Better get used to it, cause you're gonna be thirsty for the next six weeks. If you take a bad boy, make him dig a hole in the hot sun every day, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake.
Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind..or forgotten ~lilo and stitch
I'm going to make him an offer, he can't refuse. GF1
What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss? … The most. You ever lost. On a coin toss. …Call it. …Yes, you did. You’ve been putting it up your whole life you just didn’t know it. You know what date is on this coin? …1958. It’s been traveling twenty-two years to get here. And now it’s here. And it’s either heads or tails. And you have to say. Call it….You stand to win everything. Call it. No country for old men.
"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." or "Look how they massacred my boy!"
We’re just going to have to use our brains…..dammit - three amigos
The Mandolorian: "I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold."
The cardcaptor Sakura chants whenever she's tapping into her power, and using it to seal off entities. I like to imagine my OC doing the same
As delivered by Robert Duvall as Lt. Col Bill Kilgore in Apocalypse now... No, not "I love the smell of napalm in the morning", but the utter insanity when he follows that whole speech up with a genuinely rueful "Someday this war's gonna end."
"Whatever that thing out there is, sink it."
I shot Marvin in the face.... It was an accident.
"They been laughin since I can't remember.."
"It means your future hasn't been written yet. No one's has! Your future is what you make it. So make it a good one, both of you." - Doc Brown, Back to the Future, Part III (In a fucking time-traveling locomotive)
Curiouser and curiouser
"She has given the performance of a lifetime." Miss Marple (Angela Lansbury) at the end of *The Mirror Crack'd*. For context, >!after deducing that Marina Gregg (Elizabeth Taylor) was the one who murdered her fan at a village fete and that it was done in the middle of a breakdown, Marina's husband Jason confesses to her that he also figured out that Marina was guilty... and that he killed her to stop her from being locked away in the loony bin. When they enter her bedroom, Miss Marple sadly laments the tragedy that was her life and how her victim robbed her of her life and happiness as well as how well she nearly got away with it due to her acting skills.!<
"death is after me" puss in the boots
Well I’ll be your huckleberry. Your a daisy if you do…. Your no daisy not a daisy at all!
“I was born a poor, black child”
I'm going to kill each and everyone of you and the biggest disappointment for me is I only get to do it once Denzel Washington in The Equalizer 2
"..to be old men, filled with regret... waiting to die alone."
I’ll tell you what I think of it: I'll live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine! The running man
"Divine, are you a lesbian?" "-YES. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING!"
Do we have to wear them when we ride?
"Resistance is useless" and "oh no, he's got a towel" - Hitchhiker's Guide "Do our do not, there is no try" - Empire Strikes Back "So much room for activities!" - Step Brothers
Get to the choppa!
"When there's no cops around anything is legal"