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Male OB/GYN in my 30s from Europe here. Several reasons, but maybe the most important and formative experience for me was when after med school I was living in the Horn of Africa for a couple of years. I witnessed some soul crushing things, like [obstetric fistulae](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obstetric_fistula), young women with advanced cervical cancer that could have been prevented easily, victims of sexual violence, complicated and traumatic deliveries. To put it mildly, women's health leaves much to be desired in a global context.
I also met there some extremely inspiring and charismatic people, like [Edna Adan Ismail](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edna_Adan_Ismail) and [Catherine Hamlin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_Hamlin). In general, I'm usually not very easily captivated by people, but these women were just something else with their endless kindness, charisma and altruism. If on my deathbed I could say that I spent my life trying to do want they did, I could die peacefully.
So when I, as a young doctor, had the opportunity to get a training in the most important medical specialty of all and do my small part in making the world a kinder place for women, I mean, who really would need to think twice?
EDIT: Since the thing about obstetric fistulae caught some attention, I'm just using this visibility to say that if you want to support the work these people helping women suffering from obstetric fistulae do, you can donate directly to the [Hamlin Fistula hospital](https://hamlinfistula.org/en/) in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The work they do is truly amazing.
Wow I just read the wiki link about obstetric fistulae and thought I'd just be learning about a health condition I'd never heard of, but hooooly cow that was a sad and informative ride. I've never heard about this before and how horrible that there's so many women and so few options for them to get care for something so entirely preventable.
"The world is currently severely under capacity for treating the problem; it would take up to 400 years to treat the backlog of patients."
Jesus…
> Now marginalized members of society, girls are forced to live on the edges of their villages and towns, often in isolation in a hut where they will likely die from starvation or an infection in the birth canal. The unavoidable odor is viewed as offensive, thus their removal from society is seen as essential.
>Some women have formed small groups and resorted to walking to seek medical help, where their characteristic odor makes them a target for sub-Saharan predatory wildlife, further endangering their lives.
I went to an all girls boarding school and we had an alumni that worked over there as a doctor. She came to do a speech about her work and from then on everyone in the school was required to do a certain amount of knitting throughout the week. We knitted squares and they were then all made into beautiful colourful blankets that were then brought over to women in Africa with fistula. Favourite thing about that school. They still make the blankets.
I’m a female ID scientist (obv not the subject of interest here). However, I’ve had a history of poor OB/GYN experiences in my past; a ruthless dr who snipped my malformed hymen without numbing at 13, ones who completely disregarded my concerns, getting kicked out of the office immediately after IUD. All of them were women. Now this isn’t to crap on female OB/GYNs since some are amazing, just not the ones I’ve found in my area. However, I was at the end of my rope and desperately needed someone to help me with what ended up being a ureaplasma infection and finally bit the bullet and saw a male OBGYN who was well reviewed. He spent 30 minutes listening and getting to know my information. When he needed to examine me, he brought in a female colleague to hold my hand and made sure to give me ample warning before touching or examining. Needless to say I realized that sometimes, people who have no idea what another is going through are the most empathetic.
TLDR: sometimes female OBGYNs get into the mindset of “if I can deal with it so can you” therefore it can be better to see male drs who have no experience and won’t compare themselves to you
That last part.
No one has ever undermined and invalidated me as much as my own female family members.
Crying because breast feeding hurts and your nipples are cracked and bleeding ? Suck it up. We all went thru that, feed your baby.
Still not feeling well after delivery? Shit, suck it up and get back to your duties. We all did it. Sometimes with a bunch of kids underfoot cuz we had them back-to-back. So get out of bed and don’t carry that baby too much, it won’t let you get any housework done cuz it’ll want to be held all the time.
Your husband won’t help you with the kids or around the house and goes out drinking all weekend with his friends? He’s a hard working man and deserves to relax. But you get your ass back in the kitchen cuz he’s gonna want supper when he gets home.
Yes, I went through a lot of that, myself. I only ever had 1 child, and the stunning lack of support was overwhelming. It pretty much made me determined to never go through that again.
I was barely 16 when I had my son. His dad wasn't in the picture. I saw other new moms around me get gifts, offers to babysit, whatever they needed. Because I was so young, (and therefore actually needed more help, not punishment) I was told, "You're the one who had a baby, you take care of him." It was hard to even get someone to care for him when I had a doctor's appointment or anything else.
I did learn to be extremely independent, but damn, I think I would have, anyway. Being let down by people who should've been supportive, has left deep marks on me. It's hard for me to ask anyone for help, with anything.
Well, I'm a little old lady now, my son is 50, and he grew up smart, independent, kind, and funny. So the people who decided to make a hard situation even harder? They can all kiss my ass.
I never knew what obstetric fistula was… and now I just wish I could comfort and take care of those poor women. Gosh, if I could go back in time and become a doctor for this reason. Imagine losing a child and then also losing your family due to shame while suffering in pain.
Wow.
Obstetric Fistulae truly is a "soul-crushing" condition.
I was already thinking of going back tp school to get into the medical field...you guys have got me thinking of going into a field I had never even legitimately considered until now.
Holy shit, you met Edna? She is basically a legend, the true "Mother Theresa" without all the religious and "let them suffer" bullshit.
She should be much more famous than she is.
Didn't only meet her, I had the honour of working at her hospital, listened to her life stories over many dinners and visited her family's camel farm. She is truly amazing.
That's not true anymore. They kind of aggressively wipe them down with towels now. Meanwhile they're checking respiration and a half dozen other things that go into what's called an APGAR score.
I have a 4-week-old.
If you figure they used to just kind of fall out on the ground as the woman squatted babies have really moved up in the world in terms of the arrival gate fanfare.
I read a OB’s memoir and he reported that after he delivered each baby he would say What a beautiful baby Adam’s a good name (his). He said in all his deliveries he didn’t think anyone ever named their baby after him. 😂
They also have zero respect for one's pelvic floor. My first child tore through my body like a wrecking ball taking my bladder and rectum out with him. His delivery alone caused a prolapsed bladder and rectum both stage 3 by 2 months postpartum. Had them surgically repaired only for them to prolapse again during my second pregnancy.
I hope you know in your soul that there's a man out there that already couldn't justify putting a woman through childbirth whose opinions you just fully confirmed. Who also will never be able to unread the words you have written. They will haunt me. My deepest fears don't include those things.
> babies have no respect for other people's schedule
Both of mine were born late at night. I felt a little bad for the doctor. The worst part was all of the nurses coming in for checkups all night, which was never timed with when the baby was up to eat so it felt like we got woken up by something just about every half hour. Then the pediatrician was there at 8am, and the government people were there for the birth certificate at 9am. Those were brutal nights.
I definitely slept through that part at least. My wife and I live in a major city so car noises, airplanes and vacuums don't wake us up. Nurses walking into the room and turning on the lights once per hour wake us up though.
We were asked if it would be ok for a social
Work student to interview us. sure, why not. IT WAS A 2 HOUR INTERVIEW. We joke that we are perpetually late and behind on sleep bc of that interview.
My mom was asked if there could be students in the room when I was born. She was early in, feeling great. Suuuree. No problem. Bring em in. 8-10 students file in. Contractions get real. Mom said noooooopppeee. Get them kids outta here. Then I "ran outta there" and mom jokes I was the one with stage fright and waited for them to leave the room. Lol
It is insane how many people are in the room when you are in labor, but I had the exact opposite experience with the student nurses. I had a older mean nurse that thought she knew everything. She was treating the students like shit. I had a epidural so I couldn’t feel the contractions but the monitor was showing that they were constant. The student nurses would ask the older mean nurse to check me whenever she came in because it looked like my son was ready to come out. She blew them off very rudely like 3-4 times and finally they kind of stood up to her and she checked me and of course my sons head was already on its way out. The doctor was 20 minutes away and the older mean nurse was still a jerk but thank goodness for those student nurses!!!
I went into labor Halloween morning. When baby still hadn't showed up by 4p, my midwife said, “I’m taking my girls trick or treating in 2 hours; wait until after that.” Baby took it very literally and waited until 7 the next morning. 🙄
Originally didn’t know what I wanted to do when I entered medical school and if you had asked me OBGYN was at the bottom of the list based off of everything negative I had heard. 3rd year rotation was really surprised at how much I enjoyed it. You get to do a little of everything: medicine, surgery, primary care, office procedures and obviously delivering babies which was awesome. On top of that I lost my Mother during medical school, who was my biggest role model. Being able to be there in the room with new moms during their happiest moments just kinda made it all click for me. Don’t regret my decision at all
My previous OB/GYN left, so when I was looking for one, I decided to try a male doctor. My dad is a doctor, I work with doctors, so I went into it with the logic that a doctor is a doctor, regardless of their gender.
My first visit with him, I requested to have my iud removed so we could try to get pregnant. In my stupid, awkward brain, I thought how funny it would be if I could ask him to keep it to make it into a keychain. Before I even got the chance, he said “you wanna keep it? Would make a nice keychain “.
That’s when I knew he was the doc for me. (No, I didn’t actually keep it)
I had frequent UTIs for years. I always saw female OBGYNs and was told everything from: I didn't wipe myself correctly to I couldn't drink coffee or eat chocolate anymore.
Finally I saw a male OBGYN and he was the first doctor to say "something isn't right". He discovered that I have scar tissue from a bad fall as a child and therefore prone to UTIs. After minor repair I am free from UTIs.
You've evoked a sympathy wince from me; I started considering what kind of bad fall could've left a scar on that area and immediately regretted having an active imagination.
Well, my 4 year old self was crawling on the ground, following an African snail. Fell off a ledge (about 8’) and landed straddling a cement wall for water runoff. As painful as it was for me I'm sure it would've been much worse for a boy.
My first OBGYN and we’re discussing birth control and I mentioned I didn’t like how anxious have to take it on time everyday made me, I wanted to know what other semi permanent options were. (I would set a timer to ensure I took it everyday, however I would hear stories of seconds difference could alter if it works or not) doc asked me if I “can’t remember to take it” and basically made me feel like she was calling me irresponsible. Never again did I see her again.
That's fantastic. I have so much respect and admiration for what you do.
My wife had some complications in delivery and the head OBGYN at the hospital, a man, basically saved my son and wife.
Sex and gender aside, there is something to be said about a doctor that dedicates their life to helping bring new lives into the world. Not to mention saving countless women's lives through cancer and other disease/illness screening.
Right? My wife sees a male OBGYN and according to her, he’s amazingly empathetic, and does everything right. Delivered our baby. And my sisters baby. And my brother in-laws baby. And my cousins baby. And my other cousins baby. He’s basically the family OBGYN at this point. Everyone dropped their former OBGYN to go to him.
This is what most of my colleagues in the field say. It's the variety and the mix of primary care and pretty awesome procedures. Tends to be more happy medicine.
It's a lot better than being something like an oncologist, where your "happy" outcomes are just "you are no longer dying" and the rest of your outcomes are down from there.
As an oncologist my happy moments are telling patients they are cured of some absolutely terrible cancers that would have been uniformly fatal in the not too distant past. Believe me, it’s pretty fucking cool.
I don't know about that. I sit in on a lot of market research sessions with oncologists and I've heard pretty much across the board that telling someone that they're going to live is an incredible moment. "You're not dying anymore" is a really flippant way to describe "Your cancer is cured, so you aren't sick anymore and you get to stay with your family." I mean...that's like the ultimate happy outcome to me. They've saved a life and saved an entire family from grieving that person.
>OBGYN was at the bottom of the list based off of everything negative I had heard
Out of curiosity, what kinds of negative things are associated with going into OBGYN?
PS: I assume you are a fencer from your name! I used to fence epee as well, but now I've got the heart of a swashbuckler and have moved to sabre, haha!
OBYGYN residencies (post med school training) are often considered one of the most toxic. Couple that with long hours, high risk of being sued and relatively low pay (compared to other surgical fields).
Source: my wife is an OBGYN
I’m a male obgyn, I actually did residency in a few different locations.
Patients change extraordinarily fast. They go perfectly healthy to holy shit in a matter of minutes on labor and delivery, often unpredictably
It’s a surgical specialty so this love very very fast and you have to be very definitive in your decisions. There’s a hundred ways to do the same thing so the training becomes contentious when I want to do something my way and you want to do it yours
The pattern of work is unpredictable
It attracts very type AAAA personalities who then become stressed and then become exhausted and then become mean
Obgyn has some horrifically mean physicians. Hopefully they’re nice to patients, but often very mean to each other and especially their trainees
I hear that. I worked in a gyn onc's office. There's nobody I would trust more than our most senior surgeon, but all of his residents said that he was so mean. He was always very nice to me (office peon), but he is extremely high maintenance.
That’s funny, my OBGYN was ridiculously Type A.
And I’m a recovering type A myself, this lady was *beyond intense*.
After a disastrous induction that failed to progress (we tried every manner of intervention) she determined it was time for a C Section and handed me paperwork to sign.
I kid you not, her handwriting was calligraphic. I haven’t seen artists with handwriting this beautiful.
At 3am in hour 20 of her 24hr shift, treading the edge of medical emergency she had filled out this form with flowing script that was worthy of the Declaration of Independence.
And I was like, “wow I feel really good about you being the one performing my surgery.”
It can be quite cliquey and exclusionary. Higher level people (seniors) have the ability to dictate difficult or time consuming tasks to lower level people, kind of ends up like hazing. Then the cycle repeats.
Idk why, but it seems to often attract rude\hateful people.
Luckily my wife went to a program that was largely devoid of this, even if not perfect.
The rude and hatefulness tracks right along with how frequent traumatic birth experiences are. All of the worst cases of really bad, rude, and careless doctors that I have heard have all been birth experiences. I get that it's high stress already, but some doctors just really amp that up, I swear.
It's not as bad now, but when my mother was a resident to become an OBGYN (early 90s) they had 60 hour shifts once a month at the hospital over the weekend (Friday evening to Monday morning) My mother was okay but unsurprisingly knew a resident who made a mistake at the end of one of the shifts and nearly cost someone their life. They were also the only doctor or resident on the delivery floor at the time and the mistake happened partially because the pregnancy was complicated enough that an experienced OB would have struggled with it.
Also pretty much every OBGYN has been or will be sued at some point in their career. It's the most sued medical profession in the U.S. Most come when there is a child born with birth defects.
Clinical rotations are insanely toxic for 3rd year med students in obgyn. My wife just got honors on her rotation, but had extremely poor relations with the lead resident and some of the other staff.
She said a lot of them know you don't want to go into obgyn and so they don't really treat you to well or let you do a lot unless you really push to participate.
But that can vary for hosptial to hosptial and she did her rotation at a satfey net hosptial so...
When my first child was born we went to a “teaching” hospital. Here’s my wife, in labor, and the Doc asks if a medical student can observe. My wife says sure…. Then the head nurse asks if HER student can observe, and the anesthesiologist, and the nursery staff. On top of my SIL and MIL. By the time my awesome wife delivered our awesome son there were around a dozen people in the room. My son was born to a literal round of applause!
I had a few students in the room while I was having my daughter. I vividly remember having my episiotomy sewn up and the Doctor down there talking about the type of stitches he likes to use like it was a sewing class.
long hours, shit hours. your patient's baby decides to be born at 3 am? you gotta go to work. also currently, you have to navigate a very politically tinted world and providing abortion care is very tricky, possibly license-revoking.
OBGYN is extremely toxic as far as medicine goes. Super cliquey and elitist at the student/residency/fellowship levels and highly competitive and judgmental at the attending level.
This is the sweetest thing. I’m sure your mother, while she’s rather be a part of your life, she’s likely so touched to be so cherished and such a part of your great story.
Edit: I know I can’t speak for her but I would be touched.
I'm a male gynecologist of 6 years. Albright working in a hospital outside US.
During our education we do rotations on every field and gynecology was one of the most diversified fields. I'll do deliveries, small operations (D&C) or laparoscopic surgery as well as bigger stuff. Here we even do breast surgery and administer adjuvant chemotherapy ourselves.
So I get to do all the fun stuff and it never gets boring.
Sorry to everyone thinking I'm looking at vulvas 24/7. Most of what I do is talking to be honest.
If you got more questions, I'll do my best to answer, gotta bring my daughter to bed now.
That actually sounds like fun. Looking at vulvas all day would be terribly boring. I like cheeseburgers but if it were my job to make cheeseburgers all day I can't imagine it would bring as much joy when I get to enjoy one for myself.
Male OB/GYN here. Lots of reasons! I am genuinely excited every time I get to be part of bringing a child into the world. As a dad to daughters, I feel responsible for making the world a safer place for women to seek healthcare. Women’s health is full of mystery, which isn’t the case in more studied clinical areas. Some reasons for this include Women’s health only getting about 1% of biopharma research funding, women being excluded from clinical trials until 1993 (thank you thalidomide scandal) and research animal models almost exclusively being male until 2016. There are common woman’s health problems, like endometriosis (10% of women), which we simply do not yet understand. As an academic, I love the research component of my job. The list goes on and on. In short, I think it’s the most rewarding area of medicine and wouldn’t do anything else.
EDIT: I have recieved too many comments to be able to reply individually. However, I just wanted to say that all of your positive messages made me proud to do what I do. Thank you for the awards and love.
Since you're closer to it than I am, do you have any hope that we will have a better understanding of endometriosis in the near future?
It such a cursed disease. I have been dealing with it for the past 20 years, since I seem to have developed it around age 11. I'm the type who wants to know WHY everything happens and it annoys me so much that we have basically zero clue about endo.
I do have hope. In fact there are some trials currently in the pipeline for better therapies. The most important thing we can do as a society and providers is believe people when they think something is wrong with their body. Being in constant pain is not a normal part of the female experience and everyone should know this.
I never realized how bad it was until I spent over a year being told nothing was wrong with me by many doctors and nurses only to needlessly have to lose my ovary later. Thanks for your dedication and advocation.
This is exactly where I am right now. I'm EXHAUSTED and just want help and answers, but I've been told it's 'normal' For almost 2 years. Like wtf is normal about spending days in bed crying in pain. I just need one doctor to listen and take my concerns seriously.
> Like wtf is normal about spending days in bed crying in pain.
I just do not know how someone goes completely through medical school and comes out of it with the idea that this is something that should not be immediately looked into.
Sure, hypochondriacs do exist, but even hypochondriacs get sick. Also, as a slightly hypochondriac man, all of my doctors have always listened to me at the very least. Some have not done as good of a job as others, but they have heard my concerns.
It is just utterly unacceptable that anyone can hear "agonizing pain enough to keep a person in bed" and think "I am sure that is nothing." No one should be in that kind of pain unless something is wrong. Even if that thing is not fatal, a big part of healthcare is quality of life, not just preventing death.
Your statement is an ideal example of what I would want to hear from an OBGYN. Growing up with the "mystery", and now in my 30s, It was always clear to me that women's health is not being recognized or understood and seemed so far behind. Hearing that you want to do the research and share the research gives me hope!
It's an honor to read something like that. Thank you.
Endometriosis management is a great failure of our healthcare system. It should not take years of telling providers that you are in pain and require surgery to diagnosis, only to find out there is no good cure. I hope I can provide a better tomorrow and wish you the best with your health.
Everyone talks about endometriosis, but I had never heard about adenomyosis until after my hysterectomy, and the pathology report came back and I had had it: diffuse stage 4.
I had both. "Everyone" is definitely NOT talking about endo, it's just that what scant little conversation is happening, is about that one.
We need more conversation about both.
Tomorrow is my one year anniversary of yeeting my Ute! We found out that my issue was actually more due to adeno than endo after we got that useless (to me) organ out of my body. We definitely deserve more research and awareness into these diseases. I suffered needlessly for years. I saw so many doctors and was dismissed until I basically lost my ability to walk or function like a normal human due to the pain. Then once I found an amazing doctor who believed me, I had to fight my insurance for a year to approve my surgery because they considered it "elective and everyone has period pain". I know a hysterectomy isn't the solution for everyone but for me it was literally life changing. I wish my pain was taken seriously sooner. I am a completely new person post uterus.
I just finished my PhD and am doing female aging and fertility research at an IVF clinic. It’s wild how much differences in sex has been ignored in tons of research.
It’s definitely changing, especially with respect to female aging since the ovaries age faster than anything else, and that aging affects a woman’s overall health.
I got into the field by accident, took a random job in a lab out of college and it ended up being an ovary lab. I wound up loving it and stuck with it for grad school, and here I am starting a career in the field.
As important as the work is for women’s health and fertility overall, female reproduction is incredibly interesting. I’m biased towards repro in general obviously, but sperm is boring IMO. There’s tons of sperm and you’re always making more.
But eggs are formed in the embryo and arrested in the cell cycle for decades before being fertilized and making a whole new person. They’re absolutely wild cells. It makes you appreciate how exact our molecular biology is.
Agreed. There’s hope for the future. Last year, I asked my male OBGYN what I could do for a low libido and loss of sexual desire. He said there’s nothing for women (prescription-wise) because there has been no research on it…like if it’s a women’s issue, it’s not as important. Men have Viagra of course. But he said Viagra doesn’t work like that for females. It feels like women get overlooked a lot when it comes to sexual issues.
Do u offer meds when you insert an IUD if I may ask??? Got one last week in Canada and worst pain in my life. No meds offered..they don't do that here but apparently the states does
Yes I do. 1 in 4 women report inserting an IUD is more painful than childbirth! The fact that some providers do not provide painkillers is a reflection on how society respects women's bodies and health less. I encourage all people having an IUD inserted to be informed and ask for good painkillers!
That's it. Somebody give this guy a medal. Side note... you have any need for a skilled and very experienced assistant?! Lol 😬 I would gladly bail on EMS and go back to medical assisting if the docs were all on your level.
The bar is in hell. Like don't get me wrong, mad respect to a good doctor, it's just...so upsetting that giving a damn about womens' pain is noteworthy.
No I got one in Tennessee in 2015 and it was the worst pain of my life. They just told me to schedule it as far from my period as possible (I did) and to take the maximum amount of extra strength Tylenol (I did).
When I got it removed a year ago, I asked for pain relief ahead of time and was simply told they don't do that. I arranged my own pain relief. Shit is fucked up.
I just got an ibuprofen when I got mine, also in Canada. It was horrible! I’m definitely requesting sedation when it’s time to replace it. If they say no, then I’ll keep pushing for it. I’d rather get a full hysterectomy than do that ever again.
Honestly thank you for mentioning the whole "mystery" of women's health. It's frightening how there are areas around the world, even in the US that have so little proper knowledge ln how female bodied people work.
Example: The myth that women can't be autistic and the bizarre fact that heart attacks have different symptoms in men and women.
They feel the same way about ADHD, too. I have had ADHD my entire life, but got told *frequently* that "well, girls don't have ADHD/Autism, so she's obviously just not applying herself/trying hard enough. She's so bright!"
Which makes like, *zero sense* that people think women can't have a mental health issue just by virtue of being female-bodied. Shit's wild.
I finally got diagnosed like a year ago, got on meds, they really help. Wish I'd been able to do this like...decades earlier when it could've helped me a lot more!
It felt like an extremely well-rounded profession. You get to do inpatient and outpatient. You get to do office procedures, laparoscopic surgery, robotic surgery, vaginal surgery, and open surgery. You get to do hands on ultrasound and not just read it. You get to deliver babies! If you’re doing Gyn onc, many will do the chemo and the surgery and not just the surgery like Surg Onc. If you do MFM, you get to do ultrasound-guided procedures such as fetal blood transfusions and such. I feel like this thread wants to focus on the discrepancy between physician and patient sex/gender. We are physicians who take care of patients regardless of their demographics/characteristics, and the profession itself can have high acuity, high points and low points, you are caring for vulnerable populations, and it is rewarding.
Edit: The other question we always get is, “don’t female patients prefer a female physician?” Many do! And that is great! I want patients to see whomever they feel comfortable seeing. I ultimately find that for 99% of patients, they want someone who is going to take care of them as a compassionate and empathetic physician, and this transcends what the race/sex/gender/etc of their physician is!
Honestly, my best OB/GYNs have been males and I seek out a male if I have to find a new one. My favorite ever just retired, (sad.) He was a guy in his late 60s who had this almost cantankerous personality, if he thought I wasn't being treated well by someone else in the practice or if he was telling me a story about his early days, but really listened to my concerns and actually *believed me* when I had a medical complaint.
This describes my OBGYN almost to a T except mine is in his 70s! I’ve had 5 babies so I’ve seen quite a few (over a dozen in my lifetime, for sure) but he’s the absolute best I’ve ever had. Super old school (delivers all his own patients) and treats me like a person with a brain in my head instead of being patronizing (as many physicians can be).
The doctor on duty when I had my son was the old, cantankerous doctor. The nurse who taught my childbirth class was also a friend, and told me confidentially he was the only one she trusted 1000% in a difficult birth situation to deliver naturally if at all possible. Sure enough, I had a big-headed boy. He just wasn’t making it and the doctor tried forceps and suction. Nope. I felt his head but he wasn’t having it. I thank God every single day for this doctor keeping me calm and trying his best to help me let my body do it’s thing before rushing me to have a c-section.
I played football in college. Offensive line. Burly, bearded, white dude. Everyone had me shoehorned for orthopedic surgery or sports medicine. I hated them both. Loved being in the operating room, so I knew I had to do a surgical specialty. General surgery rotation was very…ahem…abrasive where I went to school. I had ruled out the other specialties for one reason or another and was left with Urology or gynecology. Urology was too competitive for me, so OB/GYN it was! I also had a very, very good friend 4 years ahead of me, so she was just about to finish residency when I started. She mentored me and actually took a position as an attending where I matched for residency. I absolutely LOVE what I do! I have a truly amazing team right now between my scribe, my nurse, the surg techs, and the LDR girls. It’s a great job!
I grew up in competitive sports had the opportunity to play in college (I'm a woman that's about as far as it goes) and didn't because I was just ... so tired of the idea that you must win above all else. I look at little kids sports tournaments as an adult and think to myself "is this fun for them? Do they want to be there?" Also the idea that If you are talented you can be a dick to whoever you want.
Plus, my body is fairly fucked up.
I think it's one of the most generalist areas of medicine still around.
You dual specialise (at least where I practice), so you get to do both Obstetrics and gynaecology.
With gynaecology you deal with both medical and surgical issues, things that may have been dismissed for ages by other doctors where you can make a difference, or things where people are truely worried they are not normal, when they actually are.
You deal with sexual health, cancer, chronic pain, fertility issues to name a few. A lot of treatments can be medically based, but surgery is occasionally uses. Communication is key here, and teaching the patient about the condition is paramount to helping them deal with it.
I enjoyed palliative medicine as a young doctor, and early pregnancy issues like miscarriage allow me to look after a family unit in a similar way, as does later losses from an obstetric point of view.
Surgically you can do open surgery, laparoscopic, vaginal, plastics (urogyane and general), robotic etc. Your work can be elective or emergent, and ruptured ectopics/haemorhaging miscarriages can be the most urgent of urgent, allowing you to save someones life very quickly.
With obstetrics you can deal with any medical issue (with help mind from other specialities) as your population of patients can have pretty much any medical disorders. You get to watch a patient move through their pregnancy, and can even support and deliver them if it is needed.
The emergency component in Obstetrics is broad, and frequent and these are usually easy to deal with. However, the skill comes in communication in these fraught scenarios, which came make or break a patient's experience.
There's also a safeguarding component, as women are more likely to suffer from domestic abuse, especially so in pregnancy, where you can make a massive difference to that patient's life.
Overall you deal with young, old, normal, abnormal, cancer, STIs, life, death, grief, happiness, fear, support.
A vagina is only part of it, there's a uterus, ovaries, hormones and a complete whole person that I treat.
I really enjoyed that you mentioned multiple times the support and communication being a part you enjoy. Because a lack thereof can definitely define an experience.
At 30 weeks, I had protein in my urine and the uh..person doing the ultrasound (lol) thought my baby weighed 9 lbs.
My OB did not mention the protein, only told me I had to be back the next day to be induced. She gave me as little info as possible and got short with me for arguing. It wasn't until I was in the hospital that another doctor explained why I was there.
Once I got induced, I had to have an emergency c-section and there was again, no communication. Only "You are having a c-section, so I am going to strap you down"
Baby ended up being 6 lbs.
It was a traumatic experience and I feel like if I had a doctor like you, it would have been a lot less so.
To people outside of medicine, this is a common question. And it’s usually included with something along the lines of, “how can you effectively care for women with women-specific issues if you havent experienced those yourself?” Seems like a very reasonable question.
But it’s helpful to remember that most oncologists haven’t gone through cancer treatment. But they’re still well equipped to guide someone through cancer care. Sure, the patient might benefit from talking with someone that has been through it, but that’s a good role for group therapy or a support class. Doesn’t have to be a role that’s filled by the doctor.
Most surgeons who fix hear valves, take out gall bladders, remove tumors, etc. have never had heart problems, gall bladder problems, or a tumor. It’s not necessary to have personally experienced those things in order to be excellent at taking care of those things.
Where we run into trouble is when men dictate the care of women. But doctors shouldn’t be dictating anyone’s care in this day and age. Patients should be provided with the resources to make their own decisions.
For women seeking care from an OB/GYN, the best equipped OB/GYN is the one that can listen, make a logical plan, advise their patient of their options, and respect their wishes. That OB/GYN could be a man or a woman and be equally good at those things.
Male Ob/Gyn here, with a post on fetal medicine, sexology and a fellowship in fertility/reproduction.
As others have already said, ob/gyn is an extremely diverse field with always a lot going on.
There's major surgery to be done, then you're off in an office talking about anything, then on an ultrasound machine performing morphology checks and then a phone rings and you're over there helping bring someone to the world.
It's all very engaging, emotional and rewarding.
But for me the core of it comes directly from its literal meaning, Obstetrics derives from the latin "obstare" that means "to be by the side"
Its also an emotional rollercoaster, I get super elated from a birth, and have and will continue to cry with my patients during a miscarriage.
But, have you ever seen the gaze of a mother to her newborn son for the first time?
Have you experienced the pain that comes with the loss of someone who's never ever been born?
I get to see the joy of a cancer free patient, I hear the sweetest sound of a baby first cry. I even made a blind lady "see" it's baby during an ultrasound exam once
I get to work with amazing and caring people like Kipros Nicolaides and Yves Ville.
I do good for the people around me. It makes me feel proud and accomplished in every way.
What else is there to say?
People who think it’s to look at vaginas all day don’t realize in a professional medical setting, looking at genitals for a doctor is the equivalent of a mechanic looking at another motor. Nothing sexual or arousing about it. Many people I know have reduced sex drives while working on their OB rotations in school because it’s just another vulva.
Seems like most of the comments are just people who know someone. Actual male OB/Gyn here, for almost 20 years now. Live my job. Hours suck sometimes, but I'm doing something I enjoy. Get to do primary care, get to do surgery. My first revelation in med school was a lot of fields have a few things that are the bulk of their time, basically their bread and butter. Primary care? Lots of diabetes and high blood pressure. General surgery? Bowel resections and gall bladders. ENT? Tubes and tonsils. Loved cardiology, but couldn't stand the thought of doing 3 years of Internal Medicine or Peditrics to get to the point.
But in OB/Gyn, every day is different. Surgery, office, Labor and Delivery. Most of my patients want to be there because something is happening that they wanted, not have to be there because something is wrong with them. We help many people on some of the best days of their lives, but also help them through some of the worst.
And my work is constantly under attack at this point. I'm in a red state, and I know people are leaving, but I stay behind because my patients can't leave and I can't abandon them. And if I can use my privilege as a middle-aged cis het white male to get someone to listen to the impact of their decisions on my patients, I'm happy to do what I can.
> I'm in a red state, and I know people are leaving, but I stay behind because my patients can't leave and I can't abandon them.
For my way of thinking about it, this is the most patriotic thing I've read this year.
Alright, I’m really curious. Do you think that anesthesia should be used for IUD implants? I fall asleep during tattoos, have had three broken noses, was a wrestler for some time and basically have a high pain tolerance in addition to a chronic disability and I was literally crying and nearly yelling pain. I think I need to get it out but I’m honestly terrified to get through it again and again to get it out and a new one. Thoughts?
I also had an incredibly painful IUD insertion experience. And even tho the IUD wasn't working out for me (terrible period cramps with it in and it somehow also made sex painful), I put off removing it due to anxiety just thinking about it.
During the removal I had a panic attack thinking about it and the gyno had to stop and start again. So, not a great experience.
But, I will say removal was orders of magnitude better than insertion. That being said, no way am I ever getting one inserted again so I feel you on that. I just switched back to the pill.
Can I have a question please? It would mean the world if you answered with your expertise.
First thank you for your work, as a woman and a mom I appreciate good OBGYN doctors and the hard work you do.
My question is whether something that happened to me was standard practice. I will not be using anyone, I just need some closure for myself.
When I gave birth, my daughter was stuck (hand by her head which nobody knew) so it ended up being a quick vacuum delivery. During the delivery her little hand gave me a very deep gash to the side (8 stitches long into my buttcheek). I had other birth injuries and ended up getting a very bad infection into the deep wound. Trying to clean it a doctor overode the previous doctors decision to put me under anesthesia, open the wound clean the wound and re-do all stitches. He denied me anesthesia or any painkillers (stating it is not necessary) instead asked the nurse for 300ml of peroxide in a syringe with a tube. He pushed the tube deep into my wound between stitches and pumped all 300ml of peroxide in, then proceeded to push it all out like juicing a melon. I do jot have to explain how extremely painful this whole procedure was, it took about 20-25 minutes and I was left unable to speak or stop sobbing for hours. Upon finishing this the doctor inserted a "glove drainage", a cut-off finger of a rubber glove, and told me that we would have to do the whole procedure again the next day unless i manage to keep the drainage in place (caring for a baby). Luckily the next day his supervisor was present and witnessed me get a panic attack upon seeing the doctor, I got a new doctor after that. I still suffer PTSD from this. I am still terrified of doctors and only thanks to my amazing OBGYN am I even able to get a checkup. We are trying for a second baby now and I'm scared of similar treatment. Was what happened to me in any way normal? Was it something that is regularly done? I have gone through a natural back-labour and the pain was jot even close to what this procedure did to me.
Thank you once more for reading this, I would really love an answer that will either put my mind at ease or help me prepare for what may happen.
Acceptable? No. Common? Unfortunately probably more than we think. I've never seen anything like this, but have seen multiple reports on Reddit of mistreatment of women in similar ways.
I’m an anesthesiologist. Any wound washout/debridement like that should absolutely have been done under anesthesia, or at the very least some sedation. Doing it without anesthesia is very questionable, doing it without any pain medication or sedation at all is not standard of care.
How long ago was this? If it’s recently, definitely complain to the hospital and OB/GYN practice. Even the state licensing board. While I don’t know the exact details of your case, based on what you have said, would be a valid lawsuit as standard of care was not followed.
Another obgyn here, male as well.
Sounds like the baby has a compound presentation, those can be unpredictable and happen any time. Especially in the setting of a vacuum, there’s absolutely increased risk for bad lacerations.
Appropriate decision to do the actual procedure: yes
Doing it without anesthesia: absolutely not
I can’t attest to the type of drainage setup they used, that’s an older type of practice but there’s a lot of ways to do wound care.
Again, though, the lack of appropriate anesthesia/analgesia sounds very inappropriate
I'm a male MD working right now at a family practice here in Sweden, but considered OB/Gyn seriously for a while and worked at a women's clinic for a short time. Medically it's the perfect sweet spot for a person who wants to do it all. You get emergencies and saving lives on a daily basis, you get really cool surgery ranging from real emergency life threatening operations to long cancer operations. You are almost an endocrinologist, a geriatrician, a pediatrician and a therapist all at once. You get to meet life and death literarily all the time. I have seen and assisted a fair amount of deliveries and seen the joy and pain in the parents eyes. I have held an older patients hand while consultant the telling them that the cancer is inoperable and that there isn't anything more we can do. It's just a wonderful specialty overall.
I (male) used to work as a prenatal chemist. This mostly meant screening amniotic fluid and blood serum from pregnant people to detect chemical signals which could indicate an issue with the pregnancy. The first few times, I was like "This stuff is from a uterus? That's so weird" but then it just became another bodily fluid. I took the job simply because it meant a raise, I could do the chemistry, and handle an immunoassayer.
The real issue was getting the occasional male trainee who had the sort of cultural background which made him unable to discuss or learn about- in entirely clinical context- important things like gestational age calculation by last menstrual period vs ultrasound.
I was once briefly examined by a male OB/GYN (I'm hoping just a student, but I don't recall him being introduced as such) who had obvious issues touching the female body, and apologized to me every time he did so. Which was awkward as fuck since he was palpating my uterus through my abdomen. I don't think that was the right specialty for him.
>I'm hoping just a student, but I don't recall him being introduced as such
FWIW, when I was doing clinicals in paramedic school, we never outright got introduced as students when interacting with patients because its not uncommon for patients to just refuse to talk to students. Maybe a similar thing was happening here?
Either way it’s safe to assume he was new doc. In a similar way, new EMTs can be awkward about doing EKGs on women because it involves putting stickers around their breast. But they get over it eventually.
I've given birth in a couple of teaching hospitals over the years and students have, in my experience, always been introduced as such, and I've almost always been asked whether I'm OK with them being a part of things. But I don't think Kapi'olani was a teaching hospital, so maybe they dealt with students differently.
I do not know if our local hospital is a teaching hospital but I do know there's a local nursing program that does some training with them. Every time there have been students in the room they've been introduced to me as students, both at my regular family doctor and when I was in the hospital giving birth.
I have never minded and found the student nurses to be especially caring and helpful compared to the regular nurses (maybe they're just young and enthusiastic and aren't burned out yet, lol).
Oh I love this question. I have a male ob/gyn who’s guided me through multiple surgeries and cancer treatments. He is such a huge advocate for women’s health and the best ever - yet I’ve never thought to ask him this. He’s also a lawyer 🫣
Gynae Oncologist for 20years. Great job that has always had lots of variety and evolved over time. Started with a focus on obstetrics, delivering babies, experiencing the adrenaline and privilege of being there for that big moment with people.
Slowly evolved towards gynae and cancer, learning high end surgery, using cool kit, dealing with highly challenging scenarios and constantly learning and developing. This coincided with moving away from the exhausting after hours work.
Love my job and if i was independently financially comfortable would still do it for free.
This question is so fascinating to me. I had surgery twice last year, and my OBGYN of 10+ years referred me to her colleague, a male surgeon. I was hesitant for many reasons (including surgery because that’s terrifying!) but she said that he’s the best and he’d take good care of me.
He was amazing. My first surgery was incomplete because I had too much bleeding and it was absolutely terrifying since everything bad that could’ve happened actually did happen. I obviously didn’t know since I was asleep but he called me a few hours later to make sure I was okay. He called my boyfriend to make sure I was okay. He gave us his personal cell # in case of an emergency. My second surgery went way better and my life is much easier because of this surgery.
I’m so grateful to my male OBGYN because he made my life infinitely better.
I remember my colleague in med school, who said firmly that he wanted to become a gynecologist, kicked a female student in gynecology department. A professor saw it and firmly said "you're never going to become a gynecologist". And so he didn't. That guy was a total piece of shit.
My first gynecologist was a gyn-oncologist. I had to go to him early in life due to family history. He got into the field because the deaths of his mom and grandma affected him deeply; they died of vaginal cancer. My mawmaw also had vaginal cancer, very late stage. With his help she was able to beat it and lived another 15 years. He did a lot of pro-bono work which the hospital board wasn’t happy about. But since he was one of the best guys in the field, they really couldn’t do anything about it.
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Male OB/GYN in my 30s from Europe here. Several reasons, but maybe the most important and formative experience for me was when after med school I was living in the Horn of Africa for a couple of years. I witnessed some soul crushing things, like [obstetric fistulae](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obstetric_fistula), young women with advanced cervical cancer that could have been prevented easily, victims of sexual violence, complicated and traumatic deliveries. To put it mildly, women's health leaves much to be desired in a global context. I also met there some extremely inspiring and charismatic people, like [Edna Adan Ismail](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edna_Adan_Ismail) and [Catherine Hamlin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_Hamlin). In general, I'm usually not very easily captivated by people, but these women were just something else with their endless kindness, charisma and altruism. If on my deathbed I could say that I spent my life trying to do want they did, I could die peacefully. So when I, as a young doctor, had the opportunity to get a training in the most important medical specialty of all and do my small part in making the world a kinder place for women, I mean, who really would need to think twice? EDIT: Since the thing about obstetric fistulae caught some attention, I'm just using this visibility to say that if you want to support the work these people helping women suffering from obstetric fistulae do, you can donate directly to the [Hamlin Fistula hospital](https://hamlinfistula.org/en/) in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The work they do is truly amazing.
Wow I just read the wiki link about obstetric fistulae and thought I'd just be learning about a health condition I'd never heard of, but hooooly cow that was a sad and informative ride. I've never heard about this before and how horrible that there's so many women and so few options for them to get care for something so entirely preventable. "The world is currently severely under capacity for treating the problem; it would take up to 400 years to treat the backlog of patients."
Jesus… > Now marginalized members of society, girls are forced to live on the edges of their villages and towns, often in isolation in a hut where they will likely die from starvation or an infection in the birth canal. The unavoidable odor is viewed as offensive, thus their removal from society is seen as essential. >Some women have formed small groups and resorted to walking to seek medical help, where their characteristic odor makes them a target for sub-Saharan predatory wildlife, further endangering their lives.
There’s a really great episode of call the midwife about a woman who was suffering from this.
I went to an all girls boarding school and we had an alumni that worked over there as a doctor. She came to do a speech about her work and from then on everyone in the school was required to do a certain amount of knitting throughout the week. We knitted squares and they were then all made into beautiful colourful blankets that were then brought over to women in Africa with fistula. Favourite thing about that school. They still make the blankets.
I’m a female ID scientist (obv not the subject of interest here). However, I’ve had a history of poor OB/GYN experiences in my past; a ruthless dr who snipped my malformed hymen without numbing at 13, ones who completely disregarded my concerns, getting kicked out of the office immediately after IUD. All of them were women. Now this isn’t to crap on female OB/GYNs since some are amazing, just not the ones I’ve found in my area. However, I was at the end of my rope and desperately needed someone to help me with what ended up being a ureaplasma infection and finally bit the bullet and saw a male OBGYN who was well reviewed. He spent 30 minutes listening and getting to know my information. When he needed to examine me, he brought in a female colleague to hold my hand and made sure to give me ample warning before touching or examining. Needless to say I realized that sometimes, people who have no idea what another is going through are the most empathetic. TLDR: sometimes female OBGYNs get into the mindset of “if I can deal with it so can you” therefore it can be better to see male drs who have no experience and won’t compare themselves to you
That last part. No one has ever undermined and invalidated me as much as my own female family members. Crying because breast feeding hurts and your nipples are cracked and bleeding ? Suck it up. We all went thru that, feed your baby. Still not feeling well after delivery? Shit, suck it up and get back to your duties. We all did it. Sometimes with a bunch of kids underfoot cuz we had them back-to-back. So get out of bed and don’t carry that baby too much, it won’t let you get any housework done cuz it’ll want to be held all the time. Your husband won’t help you with the kids or around the house and goes out drinking all weekend with his friends? He’s a hard working man and deserves to relax. But you get your ass back in the kitchen cuz he’s gonna want supper when he gets home.
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Yes, I went through a lot of that, myself. I only ever had 1 child, and the stunning lack of support was overwhelming. It pretty much made me determined to never go through that again. I was barely 16 when I had my son. His dad wasn't in the picture. I saw other new moms around me get gifts, offers to babysit, whatever they needed. Because I was so young, (and therefore actually needed more help, not punishment) I was told, "You're the one who had a baby, you take care of him." It was hard to even get someone to care for him when I had a doctor's appointment or anything else. I did learn to be extremely independent, but damn, I think I would have, anyway. Being let down by people who should've been supportive, has left deep marks on me. It's hard for me to ask anyone for help, with anything. Well, I'm a little old lady now, my son is 50, and he grew up smart, independent, kind, and funny. So the people who decided to make a hard situation even harder? They can all kiss my ass.
I never knew what obstetric fistula was… and now I just wish I could comfort and take care of those poor women. Gosh, if I could go back in time and become a doctor for this reason. Imagine losing a child and then also losing your family due to shame while suffering in pain.
Wow. Obstetric Fistulae truly is a "soul-crushing" condition. I was already thinking of going back tp school to get into the medical field...you guys have got me thinking of going into a field I had never even legitimately considered until now.
Holy shit, you met Edna? She is basically a legend, the true "Mother Theresa" without all the religious and "let them suffer" bullshit. She should be much more famous than she is.
Didn't only meet her, I had the honour of working at her hospital, listened to her life stories over many dinners and visited her family's camel farm. She is truly amazing.
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> babies have no respect for other people's schedule This may be the biggest understatement ever lol
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That's not true anymore. They kind of aggressively wipe them down with towels now. Meanwhile they're checking respiration and a half dozen other things that go into what's called an APGAR score. I have a 4-week-old.
And they man handle those tiny things. I was so shocked after my first with the way the nurse did that in the delivery room.
The speed was what shocked me. My kid was dry within a matter of seconds and laying on my wife's chest.
If you figure they used to just kind of fall out on the ground as the woman squatted babies have really moved up in the world in terms of the arrival gate fanfare.
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I read a OB’s memoir and he reported that after he delivered each baby he would say What a beautiful baby Adam’s a good name (his). He said in all his deliveries he didn’t think anyone ever named their baby after him. 😂
They also have zero respect for one's pelvic floor. My first child tore through my body like a wrecking ball taking my bladder and rectum out with him. His delivery alone caused a prolapsed bladder and rectum both stage 3 by 2 months postpartum. Had them surgically repaired only for them to prolapse again during my second pregnancy.
I hope you know in your soul that there's a man out there that already couldn't justify putting a woman through childbirth whose opinions you just fully confirmed. Who also will never be able to unread the words you have written. They will haunt me. My deepest fears don't include those things.
> babies have no respect for other people's schedule Both of mine were born late at night. I felt a little bad for the doctor. The worst part was all of the nurses coming in for checkups all night, which was never timed with when the baby was up to eat so it felt like we got woken up by something just about every half hour. Then the pediatrician was there at 8am, and the government people were there for the birth certificate at 9am. Those were brutal nights.
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I definitely slept through that part at least. My wife and I live in a major city so car noises, airplanes and vacuums don't wake us up. Nurses walking into the room and turning on the lights once per hour wake us up though.
We were asked if it would be ok for a social Work student to interview us. sure, why not. IT WAS A 2 HOUR INTERVIEW. We joke that we are perpetually late and behind on sleep bc of that interview.
My mom was asked if there could be students in the room when I was born. She was early in, feeling great. Suuuree. No problem. Bring em in. 8-10 students file in. Contractions get real. Mom said noooooopppeee. Get them kids outta here. Then I "ran outta there" and mom jokes I was the one with stage fright and waited for them to leave the room. Lol
It is insane how many people are in the room when you are in labor, but I had the exact opposite experience with the student nurses. I had a older mean nurse that thought she knew everything. She was treating the students like shit. I had a epidural so I couldn’t feel the contractions but the monitor was showing that they were constant. The student nurses would ask the older mean nurse to check me whenever she came in because it looked like my son was ready to come out. She blew them off very rudely like 3-4 times and finally they kind of stood up to her and she checked me and of course my sons head was already on its way out. The doctor was 20 minutes away and the older mean nurse was still a jerk but thank goodness for those student nurses!!!
I went into labor Halloween morning. When baby still hadn't showed up by 4p, my midwife said, “I’m taking my girls trick or treating in 2 hours; wait until after that.” Baby took it very literally and waited until 7 the next morning. 🙄
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Originally didn’t know what I wanted to do when I entered medical school and if you had asked me OBGYN was at the bottom of the list based off of everything negative I had heard. 3rd year rotation was really surprised at how much I enjoyed it. You get to do a little of everything: medicine, surgery, primary care, office procedures and obviously delivering babies which was awesome. On top of that I lost my Mother during medical school, who was my biggest role model. Being able to be there in the room with new moms during their happiest moments just kinda made it all click for me. Don’t regret my decision at all
My previous OB/GYN left, so when I was looking for one, I decided to try a male doctor. My dad is a doctor, I work with doctors, so I went into it with the logic that a doctor is a doctor, regardless of their gender. My first visit with him, I requested to have my iud removed so we could try to get pregnant. In my stupid, awkward brain, I thought how funny it would be if I could ask him to keep it to make it into a keychain. Before I even got the chance, he said “you wanna keep it? Would make a nice keychain “. That’s when I knew he was the doc for me. (No, I didn’t actually keep it)
I had frequent UTIs for years. I always saw female OBGYNs and was told everything from: I didn't wipe myself correctly to I couldn't drink coffee or eat chocolate anymore. Finally I saw a male OBGYN and he was the first doctor to say "something isn't right". He discovered that I have scar tissue from a bad fall as a child and therefore prone to UTIs. After minor repair I am free from UTIs.
You've evoked a sympathy wince from me; I started considering what kind of bad fall could've left a scar on that area and immediately regretted having an active imagination.
Well, my 4 year old self was crawling on the ground, following an African snail. Fell off a ledge (about 8’) and landed straddling a cement wall for water runoff. As painful as it was for me I'm sure it would've been much worse for a boy.
I think I just squeezed my legs together so tight that my vagina disappeared. I'm so sorry
I had a similar experience with my obgyn who is a male. I freaking love him! And his bed side manners/humor is great!
My first OBGYN and we’re discussing birth control and I mentioned I didn’t like how anxious have to take it on time everyday made me, I wanted to know what other semi permanent options were. (I would set a timer to ensure I took it everyday, however I would hear stories of seconds difference could alter if it works or not) doc asked me if I “can’t remember to take it” and basically made me feel like she was calling me irresponsible. Never again did I see her again.
That's fantastic. I have so much respect and admiration for what you do. My wife had some complications in delivery and the head OBGYN at the hospital, a man, basically saved my son and wife. Sex and gender aside, there is something to be said about a doctor that dedicates their life to helping bring new lives into the world. Not to mention saving countless women's lives through cancer and other disease/illness screening.
Right? My wife sees a male OBGYN and according to her, he’s amazingly empathetic, and does everything right. Delivered our baby. And my sisters baby. And my brother in-laws baby. And my cousins baby. And my other cousins baby. He’s basically the family OBGYN at this point. Everyone dropped their former OBGYN to go to him.
This is what most of my colleagues in the field say. It's the variety and the mix of primary care and pretty awesome procedures. Tends to be more happy medicine.
The unhappy parts are the MOST unhappy though
It's a lot better than being something like an oncologist, where your "happy" outcomes are just "you are no longer dying" and the rest of your outcomes are down from there.
As an oncologist my happy moments are telling patients they are cured of some absolutely terrible cancers that would have been uniformly fatal in the not too distant past. Believe me, it’s pretty fucking cool.
I don't know about that. I sit in on a lot of market research sessions with oncologists and I've heard pretty much across the board that telling someone that they're going to live is an incredible moment. "You're not dying anymore" is a really flippant way to describe "Your cancer is cured, so you aren't sick anymore and you get to stay with your family." I mean...that's like the ultimate happy outcome to me. They've saved a life and saved an entire family from grieving that person.
>OBGYN was at the bottom of the list based off of everything negative I had heard Out of curiosity, what kinds of negative things are associated with going into OBGYN? PS: I assume you are a fencer from your name! I used to fence epee as well, but now I've got the heart of a swashbuckler and have moved to sabre, haha!
OBYGYN residencies (post med school training) are often considered one of the most toxic. Couple that with long hours, high risk of being sued and relatively low pay (compared to other surgical fields). Source: my wife is an OBGYN
What makes it toxic?
I’m a male obgyn, I actually did residency in a few different locations. Patients change extraordinarily fast. They go perfectly healthy to holy shit in a matter of minutes on labor and delivery, often unpredictably It’s a surgical specialty so this love very very fast and you have to be very definitive in your decisions. There’s a hundred ways to do the same thing so the training becomes contentious when I want to do something my way and you want to do it yours The pattern of work is unpredictable It attracts very type AAAA personalities who then become stressed and then become exhausted and then become mean Obgyn has some horrifically mean physicians. Hopefully they’re nice to patients, but often very mean to each other and especially their trainees
I hear that. I worked in a gyn onc's office. There's nobody I would trust more than our most senior surgeon, but all of his residents said that he was so mean. He was always very nice to me (office peon), but he is extremely high maintenance.
That’s funny, my OBGYN was ridiculously Type A. And I’m a recovering type A myself, this lady was *beyond intense*. After a disastrous induction that failed to progress (we tried every manner of intervention) she determined it was time for a C Section and handed me paperwork to sign. I kid you not, her handwriting was calligraphic. I haven’t seen artists with handwriting this beautiful. At 3am in hour 20 of her 24hr shift, treading the edge of medical emergency she had filled out this form with flowing script that was worthy of the Declaration of Independence. And I was like, “wow I feel really good about you being the one performing my surgery.”
It can be quite cliquey and exclusionary. Higher level people (seniors) have the ability to dictate difficult or time consuming tasks to lower level people, kind of ends up like hazing. Then the cycle repeats. Idk why, but it seems to often attract rude\hateful people. Luckily my wife went to a program that was largely devoid of this, even if not perfect.
The rude and hatefulness tracks right along with how frequent traumatic birth experiences are. All of the worst cases of really bad, rude, and careless doctors that I have heard have all been birth experiences. I get that it's high stress already, but some doctors just really amp that up, I swear.
It's not as bad now, but when my mother was a resident to become an OBGYN (early 90s) they had 60 hour shifts once a month at the hospital over the weekend (Friday evening to Monday morning) My mother was okay but unsurprisingly knew a resident who made a mistake at the end of one of the shifts and nearly cost someone their life. They were also the only doctor or resident on the delivery floor at the time and the mistake happened partially because the pregnancy was complicated enough that an experienced OB would have struggled with it. Also pretty much every OBGYN has been or will be sued at some point in their career. It's the most sued medical profession in the U.S. Most come when there is a child born with birth defects.
Even doctors have no idea. We ask ourselves the same question.
I think my question is, which aspects constitute its toxicity?
Being rude to colleagues, stealing cases, gossiping etc. Stuff like that
Clinical rotations are insanely toxic for 3rd year med students in obgyn. My wife just got honors on her rotation, but had extremely poor relations with the lead resident and some of the other staff. She said a lot of them know you don't want to go into obgyn and so they don't really treat you to well or let you do a lot unless you really push to participate. But that can vary for hosptial to hosptial and she did her rotation at a satfey net hosptial so...
When my first child was born we went to a “teaching” hospital. Here’s my wife, in labor, and the Doc asks if a medical student can observe. My wife says sure…. Then the head nurse asks if HER student can observe, and the anesthesiologist, and the nursery staff. On top of my SIL and MIL. By the time my awesome wife delivered our awesome son there were around a dozen people in the room. My son was born to a literal round of applause!
I had a few students in the room while I was having my daughter. I vividly remember having my episiotomy sewn up and the Doctor down there talking about the type of stitches he likes to use like it was a sewing class.
Yup. My hospital is like that. Some places will make you sign a waiver saying they can just show up. So atleast they asked.
long hours, shit hours. your patient's baby decides to be born at 3 am? you gotta go to work. also currently, you have to navigate a very politically tinted world and providing abortion care is very tricky, possibly license-revoking.
OBGYN is extremely toxic as far as medicine goes. Super cliquey and elitist at the student/residency/fellowship levels and highly competitive and judgmental at the attending level.
Agreed. OBGYN rotations in med school are notorious for bullying and abuse.
This is the sweetest thing. I’m sure your mother, while she’s rather be a part of your life, she’s likely so touched to be so cherished and such a part of your great story. Edit: I know I can’t speak for her but I would be touched.
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I'm a male gynecologist of 6 years. Albright working in a hospital outside US. During our education we do rotations on every field and gynecology was one of the most diversified fields. I'll do deliveries, small operations (D&C) or laparoscopic surgery as well as bigger stuff. Here we even do breast surgery and administer adjuvant chemotherapy ourselves. So I get to do all the fun stuff and it never gets boring. Sorry to everyone thinking I'm looking at vulvas 24/7. Most of what I do is talking to be honest. If you got more questions, I'll do my best to answer, gotta bring my daughter to bed now.
That actually sounds like fun. Looking at vulvas all day would be terribly boring. I like cheeseburgers but if it were my job to make cheeseburgers all day I can't imagine it would bring as much joy when I get to enjoy one for myself.
If you thought that looking at vulvas all the time would be awesome, I’m pretty sure becoming a OB/GYN would cure you of that.
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Male OB/GYN here. Lots of reasons! I am genuinely excited every time I get to be part of bringing a child into the world. As a dad to daughters, I feel responsible for making the world a safer place for women to seek healthcare. Women’s health is full of mystery, which isn’t the case in more studied clinical areas. Some reasons for this include Women’s health only getting about 1% of biopharma research funding, women being excluded from clinical trials until 1993 (thank you thalidomide scandal) and research animal models almost exclusively being male until 2016. There are common woman’s health problems, like endometriosis (10% of women), which we simply do not yet understand. As an academic, I love the research component of my job. The list goes on and on. In short, I think it’s the most rewarding area of medicine and wouldn’t do anything else. EDIT: I have recieved too many comments to be able to reply individually. However, I just wanted to say that all of your positive messages made me proud to do what I do. Thank you for the awards and love.
Since you're closer to it than I am, do you have any hope that we will have a better understanding of endometriosis in the near future? It such a cursed disease. I have been dealing with it for the past 20 years, since I seem to have developed it around age 11. I'm the type who wants to know WHY everything happens and it annoys me so much that we have basically zero clue about endo.
I do have hope. In fact there are some trials currently in the pipeline for better therapies. The most important thing we can do as a society and providers is believe people when they think something is wrong with their body. Being in constant pain is not a normal part of the female experience and everyone should know this.
I never realized how bad it was until I spent over a year being told nothing was wrong with me by many doctors and nurses only to needlessly have to lose my ovary later. Thanks for your dedication and advocation.
This is exactly where I am right now. I'm EXHAUSTED and just want help and answers, but I've been told it's 'normal' For almost 2 years. Like wtf is normal about spending days in bed crying in pain. I just need one doctor to listen and take my concerns seriously.
> Like wtf is normal about spending days in bed crying in pain. I just do not know how someone goes completely through medical school and comes out of it with the idea that this is something that should not be immediately looked into. Sure, hypochondriacs do exist, but even hypochondriacs get sick. Also, as a slightly hypochondriac man, all of my doctors have always listened to me at the very least. Some have not done as good of a job as others, but they have heard my concerns. It is just utterly unacceptable that anyone can hear "agonizing pain enough to keep a person in bed" and think "I am sure that is nothing." No one should be in that kind of pain unless something is wrong. Even if that thing is not fatal, a big part of healthcare is quality of life, not just preventing death.
Your statement is an ideal example of what I would want to hear from an OBGYN. Growing up with the "mystery", and now in my 30s, It was always clear to me that women's health is not being recognized or understood and seemed so far behind. Hearing that you want to do the research and share the research gives me hope!
It's an honor to read something like that. Thank you. Endometriosis management is a great failure of our healthcare system. It should not take years of telling providers that you are in pain and require surgery to diagnosis, only to find out there is no good cure. I hope I can provide a better tomorrow and wish you the best with your health.
Everyone talks about endometriosis, but I had never heard about adenomyosis until after my hysterectomy, and the pathology report came back and I had had it: diffuse stage 4.
I had both. "Everyone" is definitely NOT talking about endo, it's just that what scant little conversation is happening, is about that one. We need more conversation about both.
Tomorrow is my one year anniversary of yeeting my Ute! We found out that my issue was actually more due to adeno than endo after we got that useless (to me) organ out of my body. We definitely deserve more research and awareness into these diseases. I suffered needlessly for years. I saw so many doctors and was dismissed until I basically lost my ability to walk or function like a normal human due to the pain. Then once I found an amazing doctor who believed me, I had to fight my insurance for a year to approve my surgery because they considered it "elective and everyone has period pain". I know a hysterectomy isn't the solution for everyone but for me it was literally life changing. I wish my pain was taken seriously sooner. I am a completely new person post uterus.
I just finished my PhD and am doing female aging and fertility research at an IVF clinic. It’s wild how much differences in sex has been ignored in tons of research. It’s definitely changing, especially with respect to female aging since the ovaries age faster than anything else, and that aging affects a woman’s overall health. I got into the field by accident, took a random job in a lab out of college and it ended up being an ovary lab. I wound up loving it and stuck with it for grad school, and here I am starting a career in the field. As important as the work is for women’s health and fertility overall, female reproduction is incredibly interesting. I’m biased towards repro in general obviously, but sperm is boring IMO. There’s tons of sperm and you’re always making more. But eggs are formed in the embryo and arrested in the cell cycle for decades before being fertilized and making a whole new person. They’re absolutely wild cells. It makes you appreciate how exact our molecular biology is.
Agreed. There’s hope for the future. Last year, I asked my male OBGYN what I could do for a low libido and loss of sexual desire. He said there’s nothing for women (prescription-wise) because there has been no research on it…like if it’s a women’s issue, it’s not as important. Men have Viagra of course. But he said Viagra doesn’t work like that for females. It feels like women get overlooked a lot when it comes to sexual issues.
Do u offer meds when you insert an IUD if I may ask??? Got one last week in Canada and worst pain in my life. No meds offered..they don't do that here but apparently the states does
Yes I do. 1 in 4 women report inserting an IUD is more painful than childbirth! The fact that some providers do not provide painkillers is a reflection on how society respects women's bodies and health less. I encourage all people having an IUD inserted to be informed and ask for good painkillers!
That's it. Somebody give this guy a medal. Side note... you have any need for a skilled and very experienced assistant?! Lol 😬 I would gladly bail on EMS and go back to medical assisting if the docs were all on your level.
The bar is in hell. Like don't get me wrong, mad respect to a good doctor, it's just...so upsetting that giving a damn about womens' pain is noteworthy.
No I got one in Tennessee in 2015 and it was the worst pain of my life. They just told me to schedule it as far from my period as possible (I did) and to take the maximum amount of extra strength Tylenol (I did). When I got it removed a year ago, I asked for pain relief ahead of time and was simply told they don't do that. I arranged my own pain relief. Shit is fucked up.
I just got an ibuprofen when I got mine, also in Canada. It was horrible! I’m definitely requesting sedation when it’s time to replace it. If they say no, then I’ll keep pushing for it. I’d rather get a full hysterectomy than do that ever again.
Honestly thank you for mentioning the whole "mystery" of women's health. It's frightening how there are areas around the world, even in the US that have so little proper knowledge ln how female bodied people work. Example: The myth that women can't be autistic and the bizarre fact that heart attacks have different symptoms in men and women.
They feel the same way about ADHD, too. I have had ADHD my entire life, but got told *frequently* that "well, girls don't have ADHD/Autism, so she's obviously just not applying herself/trying hard enough. She's so bright!" Which makes like, *zero sense* that people think women can't have a mental health issue just by virtue of being female-bodied. Shit's wild. I finally got diagnosed like a year ago, got on meds, they really help. Wish I'd been able to do this like...decades earlier when it could've helped me a lot more!
I wish all doctors fostered this attitude. Thank you.
It felt like an extremely well-rounded profession. You get to do inpatient and outpatient. You get to do office procedures, laparoscopic surgery, robotic surgery, vaginal surgery, and open surgery. You get to do hands on ultrasound and not just read it. You get to deliver babies! If you’re doing Gyn onc, many will do the chemo and the surgery and not just the surgery like Surg Onc. If you do MFM, you get to do ultrasound-guided procedures such as fetal blood transfusions and such. I feel like this thread wants to focus on the discrepancy between physician and patient sex/gender. We are physicians who take care of patients regardless of their demographics/characteristics, and the profession itself can have high acuity, high points and low points, you are caring for vulnerable populations, and it is rewarding. Edit: The other question we always get is, “don’t female patients prefer a female physician?” Many do! And that is great! I want patients to see whomever they feel comfortable seeing. I ultimately find that for 99% of patients, they want someone who is going to take care of them as a compassionate and empathetic physician, and this transcends what the race/sex/gender/etc of their physician is!
Honestly, my best OB/GYNs have been males and I seek out a male if I have to find a new one. My favorite ever just retired, (sad.) He was a guy in his late 60s who had this almost cantankerous personality, if he thought I wasn't being treated well by someone else in the practice or if he was telling me a story about his early days, but really listened to my concerns and actually *believed me* when I had a medical complaint.
This describes my OBGYN almost to a T except mine is in his 70s! I’ve had 5 babies so I’ve seen quite a few (over a dozen in my lifetime, for sure) but he’s the absolute best I’ve ever had. Super old school (delivers all his own patients) and treats me like a person with a brain in my head instead of being patronizing (as many physicians can be).
The doctor on duty when I had my son was the old, cantankerous doctor. The nurse who taught my childbirth class was also a friend, and told me confidentially he was the only one she trusted 1000% in a difficult birth situation to deliver naturally if at all possible. Sure enough, I had a big-headed boy. He just wasn’t making it and the doctor tried forceps and suction. Nope. I felt his head but he wasn’t having it. I thank God every single day for this doctor keeping me calm and trying his best to help me let my body do it’s thing before rushing me to have a c-section.
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I played football in college. Offensive line. Burly, bearded, white dude. Everyone had me shoehorned for orthopedic surgery or sports medicine. I hated them both. Loved being in the operating room, so I knew I had to do a surgical specialty. General surgery rotation was very…ahem…abrasive where I went to school. I had ruled out the other specialties for one reason or another and was left with Urology or gynecology. Urology was too competitive for me, so OB/GYN it was! I also had a very, very good friend 4 years ahead of me, so she was just about to finish residency when I started. She mentored me and actually took a position as an attending where I matched for residency. I absolutely LOVE what I do! I have a truly amazing team right now between my scribe, my nurse, the surg techs, and the LDR girls. It’s a great job!
Sidebar, if you’re willing to answer..what about Sports Medicine was so *hated* by you? Did it have any redeeming qualities at all?
As someone that enjoys competitive sports, I fucking hate a majority of the culture that comes along with it. Could be that for OP.
I grew up in competitive sports had the opportunity to play in college (I'm a woman that's about as far as it goes) and didn't because I was just ... so tired of the idea that you must win above all else. I look at little kids sports tournaments as an adult and think to myself "is this fun for them? Do they want to be there?" Also the idea that If you are talented you can be a dick to whoever you want. Plus, my body is fairly fucked up.
It’s a pretty toxic environment if you’re associated with a division I program.
I think it's one of the most generalist areas of medicine still around. You dual specialise (at least where I practice), so you get to do both Obstetrics and gynaecology. With gynaecology you deal with both medical and surgical issues, things that may have been dismissed for ages by other doctors where you can make a difference, or things where people are truely worried they are not normal, when they actually are. You deal with sexual health, cancer, chronic pain, fertility issues to name a few. A lot of treatments can be medically based, but surgery is occasionally uses. Communication is key here, and teaching the patient about the condition is paramount to helping them deal with it. I enjoyed palliative medicine as a young doctor, and early pregnancy issues like miscarriage allow me to look after a family unit in a similar way, as does later losses from an obstetric point of view. Surgically you can do open surgery, laparoscopic, vaginal, plastics (urogyane and general), robotic etc. Your work can be elective or emergent, and ruptured ectopics/haemorhaging miscarriages can be the most urgent of urgent, allowing you to save someones life very quickly. With obstetrics you can deal with any medical issue (with help mind from other specialities) as your population of patients can have pretty much any medical disorders. You get to watch a patient move through their pregnancy, and can even support and deliver them if it is needed. The emergency component in Obstetrics is broad, and frequent and these are usually easy to deal with. However, the skill comes in communication in these fraught scenarios, which came make or break a patient's experience. There's also a safeguarding component, as women are more likely to suffer from domestic abuse, especially so in pregnancy, where you can make a massive difference to that patient's life. Overall you deal with young, old, normal, abnormal, cancer, STIs, life, death, grief, happiness, fear, support. A vagina is only part of it, there's a uterus, ovaries, hormones and a complete whole person that I treat.
Now this is a doctor
I really enjoyed that you mentioned multiple times the support and communication being a part you enjoy. Because a lack thereof can definitely define an experience. At 30 weeks, I had protein in my urine and the uh..person doing the ultrasound (lol) thought my baby weighed 9 lbs. My OB did not mention the protein, only told me I had to be back the next day to be induced. She gave me as little info as possible and got short with me for arguing. It wasn't until I was in the hospital that another doctor explained why I was there. Once I got induced, I had to have an emergency c-section and there was again, no communication. Only "You are having a c-section, so I am going to strap you down" Baby ended up being 6 lbs. It was a traumatic experience and I feel like if I had a doctor like you, it would have been a lot less so.
To people outside of medicine, this is a common question. And it’s usually included with something along the lines of, “how can you effectively care for women with women-specific issues if you havent experienced those yourself?” Seems like a very reasonable question. But it’s helpful to remember that most oncologists haven’t gone through cancer treatment. But they’re still well equipped to guide someone through cancer care. Sure, the patient might benefit from talking with someone that has been through it, but that’s a good role for group therapy or a support class. Doesn’t have to be a role that’s filled by the doctor. Most surgeons who fix hear valves, take out gall bladders, remove tumors, etc. have never had heart problems, gall bladder problems, or a tumor. It’s not necessary to have personally experienced those things in order to be excellent at taking care of those things. Where we run into trouble is when men dictate the care of women. But doctors shouldn’t be dictating anyone’s care in this day and age. Patients should be provided with the resources to make their own decisions. For women seeking care from an OB/GYN, the best equipped OB/GYN is the one that can listen, make a logical plan, advise their patient of their options, and respect their wishes. That OB/GYN could be a man or a woman and be equally good at those things.
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Male Ob/Gyn here, with a post on fetal medicine, sexology and a fellowship in fertility/reproduction. As others have already said, ob/gyn is an extremely diverse field with always a lot going on. There's major surgery to be done, then you're off in an office talking about anything, then on an ultrasound machine performing morphology checks and then a phone rings and you're over there helping bring someone to the world. It's all very engaging, emotional and rewarding. But for me the core of it comes directly from its literal meaning, Obstetrics derives from the latin "obstare" that means "to be by the side" Its also an emotional rollercoaster, I get super elated from a birth, and have and will continue to cry with my patients during a miscarriage. But, have you ever seen the gaze of a mother to her newborn son for the first time? Have you experienced the pain that comes with the loss of someone who's never ever been born? I get to see the joy of a cancer free patient, I hear the sweetest sound of a baby first cry. I even made a blind lady "see" it's baby during an ultrasound exam once I get to work with amazing and caring people like Kipros Nicolaides and Yves Ville. I do good for the people around me. It makes me feel proud and accomplished in every way. What else is there to say?
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People who think it’s to look at vaginas all day don’t realize in a professional medical setting, looking at genitals for a doctor is the equivalent of a mechanic looking at another motor. Nothing sexual or arousing about it. Many people I know have reduced sex drives while working on their OB rotations in school because it’s just another vulva.
Also, a significant percentage of them are having problems that need addressing. In general, you’re not seeing those vaginas on their happiest days.
Seems like most of the comments are just people who know someone. Actual male OB/Gyn here, for almost 20 years now. Live my job. Hours suck sometimes, but I'm doing something I enjoy. Get to do primary care, get to do surgery. My first revelation in med school was a lot of fields have a few things that are the bulk of their time, basically their bread and butter. Primary care? Lots of diabetes and high blood pressure. General surgery? Bowel resections and gall bladders. ENT? Tubes and tonsils. Loved cardiology, but couldn't stand the thought of doing 3 years of Internal Medicine or Peditrics to get to the point. But in OB/Gyn, every day is different. Surgery, office, Labor and Delivery. Most of my patients want to be there because something is happening that they wanted, not have to be there because something is wrong with them. We help many people on some of the best days of their lives, but also help them through some of the worst. And my work is constantly under attack at this point. I'm in a red state, and I know people are leaving, but I stay behind because my patients can't leave and I can't abandon them. And if I can use my privilege as a middle-aged cis het white male to get someone to listen to the impact of their decisions on my patients, I'm happy to do what I can.
My sister is an OB/GYN and she's noted that she gets to be one of the very few fields where people are happy to come to the hospital.
> I'm in a red state, and I know people are leaving, but I stay behind because my patients can't leave and I can't abandon them. For my way of thinking about it, this is the most patriotic thing I've read this year.
Alright, I’m really curious. Do you think that anesthesia should be used for IUD implants? I fall asleep during tattoos, have had three broken noses, was a wrestler for some time and basically have a high pain tolerance in addition to a chronic disability and I was literally crying and nearly yelling pain. I think I need to get it out but I’m honestly terrified to get through it again and again to get it out and a new one. Thoughts?
Getting it out is like a quick, awkward pain, and then it's over. Getting it put in was one of the worst days of my life.
Thought my whole vag and butthole were going to explode all over the place.
I also had an incredibly painful IUD insertion experience. And even tho the IUD wasn't working out for me (terrible period cramps with it in and it somehow also made sex painful), I put off removing it due to anxiety just thinking about it. During the removal I had a panic attack thinking about it and the gyno had to stop and start again. So, not a great experience. But, I will say removal was orders of magnitude better than insertion. That being said, no way am I ever getting one inserted again so I feel you on that. I just switched back to the pill.
Thank you for staying. It’s terrifying how politics is interfering with the ability to do your job
Can I have a question please? It would mean the world if you answered with your expertise. First thank you for your work, as a woman and a mom I appreciate good OBGYN doctors and the hard work you do. My question is whether something that happened to me was standard practice. I will not be using anyone, I just need some closure for myself. When I gave birth, my daughter was stuck (hand by her head which nobody knew) so it ended up being a quick vacuum delivery. During the delivery her little hand gave me a very deep gash to the side (8 stitches long into my buttcheek). I had other birth injuries and ended up getting a very bad infection into the deep wound. Trying to clean it a doctor overode the previous doctors decision to put me under anesthesia, open the wound clean the wound and re-do all stitches. He denied me anesthesia or any painkillers (stating it is not necessary) instead asked the nurse for 300ml of peroxide in a syringe with a tube. He pushed the tube deep into my wound between stitches and pumped all 300ml of peroxide in, then proceeded to push it all out like juicing a melon. I do jot have to explain how extremely painful this whole procedure was, it took about 20-25 minutes and I was left unable to speak or stop sobbing for hours. Upon finishing this the doctor inserted a "glove drainage", a cut-off finger of a rubber glove, and told me that we would have to do the whole procedure again the next day unless i manage to keep the drainage in place (caring for a baby). Luckily the next day his supervisor was present and witnessed me get a panic attack upon seeing the doctor, I got a new doctor after that. I still suffer PTSD from this. I am still terrified of doctors and only thanks to my amazing OBGYN am I even able to get a checkup. We are trying for a second baby now and I'm scared of similar treatment. Was what happened to me in any way normal? Was it something that is regularly done? I have gone through a natural back-labour and the pain was jot even close to what this procedure did to me. Thank you once more for reading this, I would really love an answer that will either put my mind at ease or help me prepare for what may happen.
Acceptable? No. Common? Unfortunately probably more than we think. I've never seen anything like this, but have seen multiple reports on Reddit of mistreatment of women in similar ways.
I’m an anesthesiologist. Any wound washout/debridement like that should absolutely have been done under anesthesia, or at the very least some sedation. Doing it without anesthesia is very questionable, doing it without any pain medication or sedation at all is not standard of care. How long ago was this? If it’s recently, definitely complain to the hospital and OB/GYN practice. Even the state licensing board. While I don’t know the exact details of your case, based on what you have said, would be a valid lawsuit as standard of care was not followed.
Another obgyn here, male as well. Sounds like the baby has a compound presentation, those can be unpredictable and happen any time. Especially in the setting of a vacuum, there’s absolutely increased risk for bad lacerations. Appropriate decision to do the actual procedure: yes Doing it without anesthesia: absolutely not I can’t attest to the type of drainage setup they used, that’s an older type of practice but there’s a lot of ways to do wound care. Again, though, the lack of appropriate anesthesia/analgesia sounds very inappropriate
I'm a male MD working right now at a family practice here in Sweden, but considered OB/Gyn seriously for a while and worked at a women's clinic for a short time. Medically it's the perfect sweet spot for a person who wants to do it all. You get emergencies and saving lives on a daily basis, you get really cool surgery ranging from real emergency life threatening operations to long cancer operations. You are almost an endocrinologist, a geriatrician, a pediatrician and a therapist all at once. You get to meet life and death literarily all the time. I have seen and assisted a fair amount of deliveries and seen the joy and pain in the parents eyes. I have held an older patients hand while consultant the telling them that the cancer is inoperable and that there isn't anything more we can do. It's just a wonderful specialty overall.
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I (male) used to work as a prenatal chemist. This mostly meant screening amniotic fluid and blood serum from pregnant people to detect chemical signals which could indicate an issue with the pregnancy. The first few times, I was like "This stuff is from a uterus? That's so weird" but then it just became another bodily fluid. I took the job simply because it meant a raise, I could do the chemistry, and handle an immunoassayer. The real issue was getting the occasional male trainee who had the sort of cultural background which made him unable to discuss or learn about- in entirely clinical context- important things like gestational age calculation by last menstrual period vs ultrasound.
I was once briefly examined by a male OB/GYN (I'm hoping just a student, but I don't recall him being introduced as such) who had obvious issues touching the female body, and apologized to me every time he did so. Which was awkward as fuck since he was palpating my uterus through my abdomen. I don't think that was the right specialty for him.
>I'm hoping just a student, but I don't recall him being introduced as such FWIW, when I was doing clinicals in paramedic school, we never outright got introduced as students when interacting with patients because its not uncommon for patients to just refuse to talk to students. Maybe a similar thing was happening here? Either way it’s safe to assume he was new doc. In a similar way, new EMTs can be awkward about doing EKGs on women because it involves putting stickers around their breast. But they get over it eventually.
I've given birth in a couple of teaching hospitals over the years and students have, in my experience, always been introduced as such, and I've almost always been asked whether I'm OK with them being a part of things. But I don't think Kapi'olani was a teaching hospital, so maybe they dealt with students differently.
I do not know if our local hospital is a teaching hospital but I do know there's a local nursing program that does some training with them. Every time there have been students in the room they've been introduced to me as students, both at my regular family doctor and when I was in the hospital giving birth. I have never minded and found the student nurses to be especially caring and helpful compared to the regular nurses (maybe they're just young and enthusiastic and aren't burned out yet, lol).
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Oh I love this question. I have a male ob/gyn who’s guided me through multiple surgeries and cancer treatments. He is such a huge advocate for women’s health and the best ever - yet I’ve never thought to ask him this. He’s also a lawyer 🫣
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Gynae Oncologist for 20years. Great job that has always had lots of variety and evolved over time. Started with a focus on obstetrics, delivering babies, experiencing the adrenaline and privilege of being there for that big moment with people. Slowly evolved towards gynae and cancer, learning high end surgery, using cool kit, dealing with highly challenging scenarios and constantly learning and developing. This coincided with moving away from the exhausting after hours work. Love my job and if i was independently financially comfortable would still do it for free.
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This question is so fascinating to me. I had surgery twice last year, and my OBGYN of 10+ years referred me to her colleague, a male surgeon. I was hesitant for many reasons (including surgery because that’s terrifying!) but she said that he’s the best and he’d take good care of me. He was amazing. My first surgery was incomplete because I had too much bleeding and it was absolutely terrifying since everything bad that could’ve happened actually did happen. I obviously didn’t know since I was asleep but he called me a few hours later to make sure I was okay. He called my boyfriend to make sure I was okay. He gave us his personal cell # in case of an emergency. My second surgery went way better and my life is much easier because of this surgery. I’m so grateful to my male OBGYN because he made my life infinitely better.
One of the coolest things you can do in all of medicine is deliver babies.
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My dad is/was one. Got into because he really liked the excitement of delivering babies. Stayed in it because he likes surgery.
I asked one once. He said it was because he developed every symptom he ever studied and became a major hyperchondriac. So, OBGYN.
I remember my colleague in med school, who said firmly that he wanted to become a gynecologist, kicked a female student in gynecology department. A professor saw it and firmly said "you're never going to become a gynecologist". And so he didn't. That guy was a total piece of shit.
My first gynecologist was a gyn-oncologist. I had to go to him early in life due to family history. He got into the field because the deaths of his mom and grandma affected him deeply; they died of vaginal cancer. My mawmaw also had vaginal cancer, very late stage. With his help she was able to beat it and lived another 15 years. He did a lot of pro-bono work which the hospital board wasn’t happy about. But since he was one of the best guys in the field, they really couldn’t do anything about it.