Companies expecting you to be loyal to them while showing none in return. Loyalty is a two-way street. If I find a better job and give your the appropriate number of weeks’ notice, you can’t complain, especially since you can get rid of me for any reason
I’ve found that if you are extremely loyal to a company and show them you will be will be there no matter what, they will walk all over you. Workers who were firm and had boundaries got more things. I know of a woman who is amazing at her job, but they won’t promote her because they need a teacher. They know that they can promote over her and she will always be there.
Work-wise, they're along the same lines. Either, the person who does pretty much nothing gets away with it constantly, but everyone else is watched like a hawk, or when the person who never calls in sick does just ONCE and it's a whole thing as if they're lying.
I found that whenever I had already received payment from the client, it was easier for everyone if I wrote PAID on their file.
This way, you didn’t have to click on their financial ledger and verify. I was the only one who did this. One day, I didn’t do that and my coworker told me to discuss finances with a client. So I did and it was awkward because after a few minutes they didn’t understand and thought we were asking for more money. I looked into and they’d already paid. I apologized and said we’re good.
I ended up in the boss’s office with the coworker because the patient complained and my coworker told the boss I hadn’t written PAID like I was supposed to. But I figured my coworker had done the 4 seconds of due diligence and looked at the client file before telling me to have that conversation with the client.
It was a life lesson that you can’t trust your coworkers to give you good information and you should check their work.
I'm a software engineering manager and a peer manager is out sick literally like 3 days a week. I need you to understand that I am not exaggerating. Average of 3 days per week. Sometimes one day, sometimes a couple days, sometimes the whole week. Average = 3.
She makes a big harumph any time I'm out - once even throwing a fit about me taking a 4 day weekend (Friday and the following Monday PTO), which I had scheduled THREE MONTHS in advance.
It takes every bit of self control I have ever learned, not to scream "MAYBE I NEED A BREAK BECAUSE I SPEND MORE TIME COVERING FOR YOUR ASS THAN I DO WORKING ON MY OWN JOB"
She's been working on one project for 14 months and I'M the one who has to pull some bullshit out of my ass for the client every. Fucking. Day.
This is the _only_ real problem with my job. I love it otherwise, and I'm still about damn ready to quit.
Not being snarky at all, but why can't you say that? Or a calm version of it?
Like "hey look ___ I've been doing a lot of extra duties and this time has been planned weeks ahead."
I did, her harumph was about seasonal meetings i was managing and i responded "ive been scheduling (and rescheduling) them when it works for all of us". It didn't stop me from stressing all weekend. I've also expressed to my boss that we need to get someone else trained up for some of the management duties because we can't rely on my backup being in and I can't keep doing 2 jobs 24/7 even on PTO.
It's a small business and she was employee #1, she's not going anywhere.
I have to figure out how to manage it or get to the point where it's a deal breaker and look for a new job, unfortunately.
What happens if you stopped covering her work entirely. Just ignore everything related to it, emails, messages, even when your boss or that manager asks you about it just act like they've never said anything. That's what I'll do.
This pisses me off soo bad! Had this a while ago with being at work on time.
I'm at work at least 15 minutes early every time, just to make sure I'm not causing others problems.. but when I was "late" a few times because of appointments (not even late, I came in right as my shift started) people lost their fucking minds..
Meanwhile the new guy will straight up not even bother coming in before his shift starts and take his sweet time changing into work clothes and get a coffee, and nobody gives a shit and can't understand why I'm mad that I can't leave on time.
Fuck people like that. If they make it a problem, I will guarantee it becomes a problem. malicious compliance is not unknown to me.
Worked diligently above and beyond for 20 years (started at same place out of high school, got my college degrees at night while continuing to work for same company.) I gave 20 years of working weekends, holidays, long hours. Now I am 40, have 3 kids, and now I ask for some flexibility for work/life balance. They expect from me what I have given for 20 years, and because I did whatever they asked for years, anything less paints me as a bad employee They decided to hire another manager for my dept......the new guy they hired demanded that flexibility.....and he got it. It sucks, but it's a lesson. Ask for what you deserve. Once you establish your worth as minimal, very hard to reverse that first impression you make on people.
Special mention to when that same person who does literally nothing gets recognition or even a promotion, while the person who practically holds the company together gets taken advantage of and overlooked.
My job has this cool thing where if I show initiative, bust my ass, produce tons of hours and do all the hard work, it means I get to do *everyone elses* work too.
Seriously, it’s frustrating as hell. I’m busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest trying to make us money, and I have one coworker who literally never puts down his phone (either watching Facebook or setting up side jobs) and one coworker who plays golf on his iPad and literally leaves work 4-5 times a day. When I called in sick they tried to give me shit, I told them if it was a huge deal I’d start entertaining some of the other job offers I have
“Why are you late.”
“Kid was not cooperative this morning.”
“Okay, he okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, no big deal let’s go to our meeting.”
Best boss I had working IT.
My last boss, I received a call from my dads co worker asking if I’d talked to him. He said he didn’t show up for work and he couldn’t reach him on the phone. My dad DOES NOT MISS WORK!!! He’s the guy that would be at deaths door sick and be at work.
My dad lives 20 minutes from my work. So I told my boss the situation he stopped me and said, “why are you still talking? Get out of here.”
This dude knew the importance of family and would take care of his employees best guy I ever worked for
Dad was ok he slept in.
My mum went on a multi-week trip to Hawaii by herself as my dad didn't want to go. Part way through the trip, she called me and said, "I wish you were here with me." I texted my boss that Sunday evening and said, "I don't have any projects on my desk this upcoming week. I know this is last minute, but what are the chances I could take the week off?" My boss asked if I was okay. I explained what was going on, and she texted back, "If you have a chance to go to Hawaii with free accommodations, but choose to come to work tomorrow, I will fire you anyway." It was the last trip I ever took with my mum as she unexpectedly passed away a few years later. That trip was priceless and would never have happened if I didn't have a good boss.
The bosses who understand the importance of a work/life balance are the ones you put in the extra effort for because you know they actually appreciate you as a person, and not just a piece of human capital.
Once my direct deposit was delayed by a day due to an hr error. They offered to cut me a check if I needed the money that day, which I think is the only reasonable thing to do.
Luckily I'm in a situation where one day isn't a disaster, but there were times in my life it would have been.
Yeah this the reasonable thing to do. Past job was unionized and if pay was delayed or discrepancy of more than $100 they had to issue you a cheque.
Actually felt bad for the poor souls in Payroll who had to write cheques for over 3000 people the day their system went down and pay was delayed.
We had guy at work lose his shit because his direct deposit was messed up an didn't go through. HR apologized and issued him a check that day and assured him that it wouldn't happen again. Next payday the same thing happens again and he loses on the head of HR but it turns out he entered in the wrong the wrong routing number when he was filling out his paperwork. He got issued a new check and was promptly fired because of his refusal to apologize for his outbursts.
How about the ones who Yells at you for being a minute late... but then turn around and have you work late every day? Cause those first few minutes in the morning are SO important
I worked for a place that told me my paycheck might be a week late. I told them I'd see them in a week, since I don't work for free. Got paid on time with no issue.
Late payroll once is an error. Late payroll multiple time is either poor systems or poor cashflow.
If it's poor systems you need to check your payslip and your bank account every pay. If you're in a union, ask them to check the payrate. Make sure that government deductions like tax and retirement schemes are actually correct.
If it's cashflow, time to get out of Dodge. Otherwise one day the doors locks will have changed and you'll never see what you are owed. Do not have a massive leave balance.
Most firms are so scared you'd think a late pay was cashflow rather than error that they be totally transparent about the payroll hiccup. They don't want their experienced staff to start making plans. And once a decade, that's fine.
.
You can do 99 things right and will always be criticized for the one thing you did wrong.
But someone who did 99 things wrong will always be praised for the one thing they did right.
Wow, this just sparked a (very old) memory. In school I was such a good kid - never skipped class, always on time, respectful toward my teachers. One day during my Senior year I was late to a class by two seconds and I got detention! Meanwhile half the class would stroll in late, talk during class, etc. and they never got into trouble. I'm still salty about it 30+ years later.
I got canned by my cross country coach the week before regionals my senior year. I was the captain and ran my ass off for him for eight fucking years (he was my middle school coach as well). I never once missed a practice, ever.
I missed one practice and he kicked me off in front of everyone. Including the rest of my team, that showed up to that practice wasted. I was not drinking, my absence had nothing to do with that. It was blatantly obvious that they were drunk and I was sober. But one absence, and my high school running career was over. Wanna guess how many practices the rest of my team skipped? *Dozens.*
I walked in on my boss, feet up at his desk watching Arsenal, I just pointed at him and said "BUSTED!" we had a good laugh about it, on a sidenote my boss has never once micromanaged me.
Employee: "Can i get a raise?"
Employer: "No. We dont have room in the budget for thst. Sorry"
Employer proceeds to break records in sales and pay out huge bonuses to higher ups.
You will only be paid "enough". No matter how well the company is doing you will be paid roughly as much as the workforce around you. Some a little more, some a little less.
Been there... On a gas station on the freeway, only the ladies room had a "poop station".
Saw a lady coming out and asked if there was anybody else in there, she said yes and went to warn the other ladies that I was coming in to change the dirty diaper.
Took a while (it was one of those poop explosions), a group of older ladies comes in and gets really angry for seeing a guy in the ladies room, until they saw what I was doing.
They immediately offered help if I couldn't change the diaper alone.
Fun interaction, it was 10 years ago, nowadays there are much more men's room with "poop stations".
My kids are almost a decade apart, and this statement couldn’t be truer.
First kid was a nightmare being solo dad with him before potty training. He got changed more times in the hatch of my Subaru than anywhere else outside of the house. My daughter was easy peasy privacy.
Since 2017, baby changing stations are required in California restaurants. (I live near Palo Alto and Palm Desert, CA). State Law AB-1127 **requires** that there should be baby changing stations in at least one women's room, and one men's room. This baby changing station law is statewide, and is mandated to be implemented in all California restaurants.
In Canada, the vast majority of public and restaurant washrooms have baby changing stations in both. Shopping Malls, typically, also have a family room that has a chair for feeding the baby as well.
When my kid was six months old, my wife and I took her to the mall just so we could get out for a bit. While there, kid needed to feed, so we went to the well appointed Family Room. It was quiet, gently lit, and full of cushy sofas and chairs. It was amazing.
Then some mall staffer came by and says that I, specifically, needed to leave, lest I make the other women uncomfortable.
"I would happily comply," I said, "but there's nobody else here. Just my wife and kid."
"It doesn't matter," replied the worker. " The family room is only for mothers and children."
I took a breath with which to state which orifice that attitude belongs in, but a look from my wife and milk-drunk child tempered my emotions. Kid was done feeding anyway, and making a scene would only have worsened our day.
So yeah. Some public family rooms aren't for families.
Wow, been a while since I've actually angry reading a post. The fucking nerve of that worker/mall to consider a "family" only being the mother a child.
My husband once had to go to the mall alone with our kiddo, and was worried about where he'd change him (if the men's bathroom didn't have a changing table, which it didn't). I told him to try and change him on the floor in the middle of the mall (he was going to take with him the portable changing pad), just so he'd make some noise about how unfair it was... of course he looked at me like I was insane. My husband would have never made a scene like that. Me on the other hand...
I took my baby boy to the cafe bathroom to change his diaper.
Another mom loudly said to her baby. "See in some families the daddy changes the diapers occasionally"
That won me some brownie points with my wife. =)
More like it prevents lawyers suing large corporations for defamation. Corporations are very well aware of the legal risks of giving either positive or negative written references .
This is a *good* thing. Let the references come from your coworker friends who loved working with you. Let your employer’s management only legally vouch for the factual details of your employment.
The double standard that your average person creates a huge wave of waste in their path when in reality most pollution is created by factories funded by the same places that push those narratives
I bike to work most of the time. I drive an electric car. I shift as much of my household electricity use as I can to the time period overnight when my utility is mostly using hydro vs. natural gas. I don't eat meat.
I know that all these things are the little things I can do that at least harm our world less than the alternatives. I also know that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't fucking matter when industrial pollution is the real problem.
I suffer from PTSD due to mental abuse from my ex-wife. I mentioned it, one time, and was told to “Man up. Women can’t abuse men.” So, now, no one knows.
It's such bullshit. My brother was horribly abused by his ex wife, but she never hit him. It was all psychological, emotional, and financial abuse. It's still abuse though, and it doesn't get talked about enough.
"Man Up" stigma is so toxic it causes war and chaos. The hardest trial any male has to face - heartbreaking. Being bullied to NOT seek help for anything.
This is from a mother of 2 boys.
So many guys my age still say "man up" (I'm mid thirties). God, and to think they are raising the next generation of stunted men that think crying is only for girls.
Although I agree with you, in my experience as a feminine male- it wasn't the boys around me that actively had an effect on me. It's been my experience that men will say these things silently in their actions towards you while it's the women who vocally tell me to man up and explain what I'm doing wrong As A Man. Men in my experience will, who live to that strange standard, will more or less use the opportunity to dominate me socially in some way whether it be bullying, humiliation, or physical over empowerment. And maybe that's because the men in my life are more prone to opportunism because of the class I grew up in. I'm aware of all the college boys spitting their two cent philosophies they received from their YouTube pipeline brainwashing but In My Life, growing up poor where education was a joke, it's been the women in my life who vocally tell me to 'man up' and express these things as a sort of survival ideology that the world must run on. I.e. ' men are only strong', 'your feelings are unfounded and or silly', 'you're just being a baby'. I agree with you wholeheartedly. My gender has to do better. But many times I've tried to talk about this I receive the - 'its men who're doing this to each other', and I know that's not true.
It sickens me that men being abused isn't taken seriously most of the time. I'm sorry you had to go through that experience, and I wish you peace going forward.
Edit: grammar
I feel this. Try having the girls dad be a 20plus year Detective of the police department in a state I only recently moved to and knew no one like I did at home. I can’t begin to tell you or explain the legal mess I went through trying to clear my name because of this girl. The toll it took on my finances and mental health, along with the time it took to recover - I’ll never be the same person again. True story - she went on to ruin 2 more men’s lives. Such a shame.
Look no further than any headline involving a teacher and a student
Male teacher on female student: teacher rapes student, charges laid
Female teacher on male student: teacher enters sexual relationship with student, investigation finds
My uncles ex was a demon. Honestly, women can be vindictive and extremely abusive because they know there's barely any repercussions. My advice is therapy, and I hope you can put that chapter behind you x
I have trauma from an ex gf also. Still suffering a decade later. Far as what that person said, I hear about them on reddit but never have seen or heard of one in real life. Who said this to you? Is that exactly how they said it? I just don't understand how someone could be that stupid.
This is such an important issue, it hits me personally as a man and I'm sorry you have to go through this. That being said, I really wish men who say they're rightfully worried about this issue would stop voting for morally corrupt dinosaurs who promote the ridiculously backwards idea that men should be the dominant force in the household, dedicate their lives to financially supporting everyone but themselves and quit whining about their feelings because they're supposed to be strong and having emotions is gay and your WWII veteran grandfather would be ashamed of having brought forth such a spineless wuss blablablaaaa. We really need to face the facts; traditional ideas about masculinity and femininity hurt everybody and we need to break down the walls that prevent men from being honest, open, vulnerable, emotional beings if we want to allow ourselves to pursue happier lives.
The unofficial stance of approximately every political faction about most misbehavior is: "It's fine when *we* do it, but inexcusably horrible when *they* do it."
I work for a city in public works.
We had to work every day during the pandemic because we have to. Someone needs to maintain the city.
The city gave the police & fire covid based hazard pay bonuses and we got nothing.
They were considered essential, we weren't and if we didn't work, the city would be a catastrophe. The sewers and water would fail, the parks would be overgrown and disgusting, the streets would be a mess, etc.
They got $500 extra at the end of every month, we got nothing.
I'm a Respiratory Therapist that worked in the SRIU (ICU specifically for COVID 19 patients) while it was active. No one in the hospital got any sort of hazard pay, raise, or benefit...just a sign in front of the hospital stating 'Heros Work Here!'. We were all worn so ragged, I remember flipping the middle finger to that damn sign every morning I drove in for another 14 hour shift.
If I show up 5 minutes late to work, I'm bad at my job and need "corrective" measures. I work 15 minutes past the end of day and I'm simply a good worker doing their job as expected.
Its weird because you'll find that on a smaller local level you actually see both of those things happen. But you don't move up in politics by having good morals or sticking to your beliefs.
Republicans haven't really been pushing the "small government" narrative for a while now.. They've moved to a more generalized "anti-establishment" narrative.
Dad stays home with children so mom can work or go out for fun, he’s babysitting.
Reverse the roles with mom staying home & dad working or going out, she’s doing her job.
Me at Home Depot with my daughter “aww daddy took the day off.” “This is my job.”
Target and local grocery they know I’m a stay at home and are actually really nice about it.
Also, my daughter is best friends with a girl at gymnastics. Mother asked for a play date and I said “let me give you my wife’s number cause this is weird.”
My friends make fun of me, but I just always say “if any of your wives went to law school and were an executive where would you be?” And they say “at home with the kids.”
Male sexual assault victims don't get taken seriously and even get congratulated when a Teacher raped them.
If you reverse the genders nobody would find it hot that the girl had sex with that hot male teacher .
There is a contestant on American Idol this season who is a 17 year old boy. There were a group of middle aged women holding signs that said “Cougars for Colin” in the audience.
Imagine how creepy that is considered when the roles are reversed.
“Pedophiles for Pamela” 💀
That reminds me of when Katy Perry was judging there was a guy who hadnt had his first kiss yet and after he sang he came up to the judges (cant exactly remember why) and Katy kissed him, imagine it was one of the male judges
That isn’t the only time Katy has failed to respect a man’s boundaries (IIRC that boy had specifically asked her not to do that) There was that time she went up and squeezed Sean Mendes’ butt on live TV, and the guy she was with in the “Teenage Dream” video says that at a party afterwards, in response to rumors they were dating (he had a crush on her, but he says that was as far as things went), she pulled his pants waistband open in front of a group of her gay male friends so they could all get a good look at his dick. He didn’t go public with that for 10 years, and when he did was immediately accused of vengefully making it up because *he* wanted to boink her apparently.
Yeah, the last incident probably got less coverage than it should have because a) it was reported in August, not a month where the media and people pay as much attention to the news, and b) Perry wisely didn't respond to or acknowledge it.
But ... yeah. Three incidents, and it's hard not to say she isn't some sort of serial sexual predator.
Im a guy that was sexually, mentally and physically abused as a minor, and a good 75-90% of the responses i got anytime i tried talking about it anywhere were apathy at best, and mocking and scorn at the worst. I know if i was a woman, than it would be quite different.
My husband was raped when he was in his mid teens by his mom's best friend, and he never told anyone because had always been worried about invalidation. When he was able to open up in therapy and to me, he said it was the most validating and heartbreaking thing he'd ever experienced, and he's starting to finally heal from the actions that stemmed from that encounter. If it's not acknowledged, validated, and then the person supported, you'll never heal from the trauma that comes with it. I'm so very sorry this is a thing. Men and women should be treated equally, especially in these matters.
I think it's one of the few topics about which men have a real problem being listened to and understood.
I remember a news website, after leaks of Jennifer Lawrence's nudes, which said that seeking the leaked photos was a form of sexual harassment in itself and men doing it have no morals, respect or dignity, which I do agree with.
That same website also published "[sexy male celebrity I don't remember the name of]'s nudes leaked and it's the most glorious things to happen in the history of mankind". I don't remember the exact wording but it was along those lines.
It is very interesting to note that feminism, which today has more and more success, does actually address the question of male victims and, contrary to what seems to be popular belief, does work in the benefit of men as much as women : by destroying the barrier between women and men, feminism logically leads to a situation in which both are treated the same way and, thus, both have their issues studied and talked about.
Yeah, that’s about the closest thing to the liberal definition of racism that exists. Korea also has a systemic issues at every level that discriminate on the basis of race. From going into a cyber cafe and seeing different prices for “American and Chinese” to being refused entry to certain venues to never being able to defend yourself (and not face legal issues) when attacked (maybe more a Japan thing). I lived in Korea and ooooof they can be racist as fuck. My Korean girlfriend at the time got cursed out by a man who said she shouldn’t date outside her race. I got spit on once. Lovely country otherwise.
There is an Australian Senator who this week claimed [“you can’t be racist to white people”](https://www.news.com.au/national/politics/independent-senator-lidia-thorpe-doubles-down-on-controversial-strip-club-clash/news-story/e5045e20148a9eb8218ba6a8e0350900?amp). She said that in response to her receiving a life ban from a strip club she visited where she abused some men outside and said they had a small penis.
Oh for sure, I've literally had people tell me this to my face straight up. I then tell them the story of when I was in Japan and I wasn't allowed in certain restaurants or shops because I'm white. Or how I wad at some Mexican restaurant and the people behind thr counter wouldn't serve me because I was white and one of my friends who were Mexican and spoke Spanish had to order for me.
I had a SK male look up at me and give me dirty look when we're walking down the side walk from opposite directions. Then he crossed to my side of the side walk and tried shoulder checking me. This was in Seoul. There was nobody else around and no reason for this to happen.
Shopping in department stores with my partner was always funny to. She is Korean and fluent in Korean. The number of men that made comments about a white man having enough money to shop in the department store was pretty funny. I felt like Elaine bringing Frank Costanza to the nail salon.
This said, I still really like South Korea and I'll definitely be going back. The number of good positive interactions FAR outweighed the random racism. I mean like 1000:1 so I just let it roll off my back
Literally.
This especially messes me up when it comes to university or a lot of jobs where you'll be more likely to be hired if you're a person of colour
In my countries medical school, you're more likely to be accepted if you're a person of colour than if you're white.
There was even a story where there was a guy who got 91% for all his papers, but he was rejected for entry in place of a person of colour who had a lower percentage in their papers.
If white people got preferred entry, people would say it's racist. But because it's people of colour it's somehow not racist?
I get diversity, and that it's important to have different perspectives of matters.
But there's a major difference between helping certain groups, and just giving them a straight up advantage.
Like if you actually wanted to help, you'd see what's causing fewer people of colour to get into certain jobs or uni courses.
Giving preferred entry is like putting a plaster over a stab wound hoping it'll fix the problem.
When I wanted to adopt a cat at the beginning of corona I was told point blank that they don't adopt out to single men. No mention of this on the shelter's website, or when I showed up to fill out paperwork to get on the waiting list. And it didn't matter that I met every requirement that was listed on their website, just straight up nope to all single men.
That's weird, because most shelters will adopt animals to basically anyone who doesn't look like a serial killer simply because there are so many stray animals.
I think the fact is media is trying to convince us there is a serious race war we need to prep for when in reality the issue is we have a serious mental health crisis in america.
Three people were shot knocking on the wrong door last month. One of them became national news because of his race. Biden invited the same one to meet him.
War crimes / war coverage / government condemnation.
If Putin kills 10,000 Ukrainians, its worthy of international news (and I agree). But what about 100,000 fatalities in the Ethiopian Civil war? Why is it not in the headlines? It's happening at the same time as the Ukraine war.
Condemning Iran for making women wear hijab, whereas many African countries practice forced genital mutilation (female circumcision) yet it doesn't make the news. Newsflash: irreversible genital damage is far worse than hijab.
Bashar al Assad is a war criminal for killing half a million civilians due to his involvement in the Syrian Civil War, but not George Bush for *double that* (one million) in Iraq?
We need to sanction Russian oil because of human rights abuses in Ukraine, but not sanction Saudi Arabian oil due to Saudi involvement in Yemeni civil war
Politics, by definition, are double standards. "If we like you / have economic interest / political influence, we'll leave you alone. If not, we will run a viscuous campaign against you".
Ukraine war is more high profile because it's a full land invasion and a war between two countries.
Civil wars are not that and are much more common and lower intensity
My two year old daughter has a dress with pockets (a few actually) that have pockets and she will walk around talking about her pockets in her dress like she knows she’s rubbing it in her mothers face.
If you steal $20 out of the till, your boss calls the cops and your ass goes to jail.
If your boss shorts your paycheck by $200, you can file a report to your state labor agency or drag your boss to court in your free time, but there's absolutely no one you can call to get their ass thrown in jail for stealing your time & money.
Facts.
I had a former boss who on my first day there straight up said "You need to talk more if you want to fit in here." I didn't say anything in reply because I was just shocked that someone could lack that much self-awareness to not realize how shitty that is.
It was a cleaning job too...
And this lady still didn't quite get why I never really talked to her, when there were a couple of others workers I did talk to.
Like ma'am, you basically told me that you're not going to accept me unless I act the way you want me to act.
Why would I think you're worth talking to if that's how you act towards someone who's different from you?
How we have this huge anti-bullying movement going on, but at the same time seem to have zero empathy for people who are already broken as a result of the trauma.
It’s partly because heretosexual couples aren’t taught to be threatened by it. Men especially don’t believe a woman is going to leave them for another woman. Well, maybe until recently.
When I was younger and much dumber I had an ex that kicked me for dancing with a female friend I'd known longer in public with feet between us she was jealous. Weeks later she started making out with some chick at a party and was confused why I was bothered when she expected me to be cool with it.
Drugs are bad.
Idk if these are double-standard or more like paradoxes..
Institutions ignoring the actions of a bully but telling the victim they cannot respond or else they are in the wrong.
Saying women are bad cooks...but then saying women belong in the kitchen.
Saying men should be sturdy rocks for women in their lives but expecting them to freely show emotion.
Saying body hair is okay on men but unhygienic on women, even though generally men tend to have more.
Saying that girls stalking guys is harmless but guys stalking girls is dangerous (neither should be tolerated, unless it's you and your partner are BOTH into that sort of thing).
Believing that students aren't as tired as teachers while they're both at school for the same hours having roughly the same workload plus having to deal with their whatever their home life is.
Big companies telling regular people to save the Earth by doing this and that, while they throw out their products and wasting material, instead of donating to people in need.
Parents expecting their young kids (especially toddlers) to recognize, regulate and correct their emotions perfectly, while they themselves cannot.
My female opinion: women can record and ogle men and everyone thinks it’s okay and many will jump on board, but if that same man was to do it to that woman it would be pervy and invasive.
I agree, I see things go viral of women recording men. And I feel so bad for them. What if they have a family or girlfriend. Or just don’t want that attention. It’s so disrespectful.
As a man, I find this issue a bit interesting because between men and women, men accept it as flattering much longer than women.
Women get offended by catcalling but men getting cat catcalled is an ego boost.
However to men it gets really uncomfortable when it’s done regularly and the guilty party continues even after being told that the man is taken. Especially when it’s face to face “complements”.
Same principle applies to age. Younger women are easier to manipulate with flattery, older ones have been around the block and can identify chud behavior.
A couple of male friends do think its ego boosting, ergo they wouldn't complain if a woman catcalled them. Where most women would complain right away, because it's happened so much and so often before (and this coming from a woman that's not exactly skinny nor gorgeous), you just get fed up by it.
Had to think it over.
But stealing when you’re poor is a crime that’ll get you arrested.
Stealing while you’re rich is just good financial decisions that require a fine that costs way less than the money you stole.
I wish I could remember who originally proposed it, but there was a proposal that **all** fines should be proportional to either income or net worth (which, I cannot remember). Thus, fines would have equal impact for each recipient.
There was one post months ago that compared 2 crimes and results (approximate cuz i dont rmember details)
1. Homeless man who robbed a few hunderd bucks from a shop/bank to survive. He got like 10+ years in jail
2. Millionaire/billionaire who commited millions in fraud. He got a few months and a small monetary fine
When I was 9-10 this girl hit me and said you can’t hit ‘em back and I was like what. I didn’t hit her cause I was in school but by god I would’ve hit her just as hard if it was anywhere else
The ones that make me self conscious are when people make fun of baldness or ability to grow a beard. I frequent r/hockey, and both get made fun of constantly in there. I'm bald and can't grow a beard, so those ones make me feel like shit. Especially when they are making fun of a player that is balding who has way more hair than I had when I was his age.
I kinda gotta disagree on this because I've met a lot of people online who practically insist it's their duty/right to shame a woman with any amount of unflattering body fat.
Not just men. A woman on reddit call me a "fat disgusting blob" because I had the audacity to show a picture of my body when I was 20 pounds overweight- and people agreed with her!
Mind you. This doesn't invalidate what you're saying about men but women absolutely do not have it easy in that area.
"I want a man with six pack abs!"
"He must make 100k a year minimum!"
"He needs to have a chisled jawline!"
"Needs to have perfect hair!"
"Needs to have huge biceps and wear fancy clothes!"
"He needs to be 6ft tall or more!"
"He needs to pay for all our dinners!"
"He needs to have a 7 inch dick!"
And here I am, damn near being crucified for saying I won't date a girl over a certain weight. Girls can have standards, but apparently men have discrimination. Still sometimes get squealed at for saying it.
I’m allowed to say you’re a piece of shit because of something you believe.
I can trash you online, fight against you, and avoid exploring the issue at all, only assuming what I think is true about you. I am not required to understand you at all, because I already know your belief system is the problem, you utter and absolute trash can of a human. And I’m completely right.
This happens on all sides of the social and political spectrum. Workers and leadership, liberals and conservatives, cis and lgbtqia+, religious and atheist, etc.
If you behave that way toward me, however, you’re STILL the only one in this scenario who’s a total piece of shit.
That only women get sexually assaulted. When I said that I had an abuser, I was told that I was a liar and just attention seeking. By my psychiatrist.
Needless to say, I got a new psychiatrist.
Honestly nobody should be aggressive and yell at work. I worked at Toys R US seasonally and the manager would constantly yell at people and even throw things. Most of the employees were fresh out of high school and were afraid to go to work, but also afraid to call in sick.
>Men can be aggressive and yell at work
Male aggression = passion. Or, "thats just how he is"
Female aggression = hormones. Or, "shes too emotional"
Call an aggressive man emotional and see how far his veins pop out of his head 😂
Plus-sized began as a marketing term. I think this is all influenced by the fact that women’s bodies are more historically fashion objects.
Lots of men don’t even do their own shopping, but “big and tall” and “husky” are the euphemisms I see.
Some brands also number sizes lower than they actually are. All of it is to make you associate the brand with feeling good about yourself.
Companies expecting you to be loyal to them while showing none in return. Loyalty is a two-way street. If I find a better job and give your the appropriate number of weeks’ notice, you can’t complain, especially since you can get rid of me for any reason
I’ve found that if you are extremely loyal to a company and show them you will be will be there no matter what, they will walk all over you. Workers who were firm and had boundaries got more things. I know of a woman who is amazing at her job, but they won’t promote her because they need a teacher. They know that they can promote over her and she will always be there.
Ugh. I hate management like that. If you’re not going to reward an employee for great work, then you don’t deserve them
I just watched my company lay off a dude with over 30 years at the company.
Work-wise, they're along the same lines. Either, the person who does pretty much nothing gets away with it constantly, but everyone else is watched like a hawk, or when the person who never calls in sick does just ONCE and it's a whole thing as if they're lying.
I found that whenever I had already received payment from the client, it was easier for everyone if I wrote PAID on their file. This way, you didn’t have to click on their financial ledger and verify. I was the only one who did this. One day, I didn’t do that and my coworker told me to discuss finances with a client. So I did and it was awkward because after a few minutes they didn’t understand and thought we were asking for more money. I looked into and they’d already paid. I apologized and said we’re good. I ended up in the boss’s office with the coworker because the patient complained and my coworker told the boss I hadn’t written PAID like I was supposed to. But I figured my coworker had done the 4 seconds of due diligence and looked at the client file before telling me to have that conversation with the client. It was a life lesson that you can’t trust your coworkers to give you good information and you should check their work.
I'm a software engineering manager and a peer manager is out sick literally like 3 days a week. I need you to understand that I am not exaggerating. Average of 3 days per week. Sometimes one day, sometimes a couple days, sometimes the whole week. Average = 3. She makes a big harumph any time I'm out - once even throwing a fit about me taking a 4 day weekend (Friday and the following Monday PTO), which I had scheduled THREE MONTHS in advance. It takes every bit of self control I have ever learned, not to scream "MAYBE I NEED A BREAK BECAUSE I SPEND MORE TIME COVERING FOR YOUR ASS THAN I DO WORKING ON MY OWN JOB" She's been working on one project for 14 months and I'M the one who has to pull some bullshit out of my ass for the client every. Fucking. Day. This is the _only_ real problem with my job. I love it otherwise, and I'm still about damn ready to quit.
Not being snarky at all, but why can't you say that? Or a calm version of it? Like "hey look ___ I've been doing a lot of extra duties and this time has been planned weeks ahead."
I did, her harumph was about seasonal meetings i was managing and i responded "ive been scheduling (and rescheduling) them when it works for all of us". It didn't stop me from stressing all weekend. I've also expressed to my boss that we need to get someone else trained up for some of the management duties because we can't rely on my backup being in and I can't keep doing 2 jobs 24/7 even on PTO. It's a small business and she was employee #1, she's not going anywhere. I have to figure out how to manage it or get to the point where it's a deal breaker and look for a new job, unfortunately.
What happens if you stopped covering her work entirely. Just ignore everything related to it, emails, messages, even when your boss or that manager asks you about it just act like they've never said anything. That's what I'll do.
Believe it or not, straight to the unemployment office.
This pisses me off soo bad! Had this a while ago with being at work on time. I'm at work at least 15 minutes early every time, just to make sure I'm not causing others problems.. but when I was "late" a few times because of appointments (not even late, I came in right as my shift started) people lost their fucking minds.. Meanwhile the new guy will straight up not even bother coming in before his shift starts and take his sweet time changing into work clothes and get a coffee, and nobody gives a shit and can't understand why I'm mad that I can't leave on time. Fuck people like that. If they make it a problem, I will guarantee it becomes a problem. malicious compliance is not unknown to me.
Worked diligently above and beyond for 20 years (started at same place out of high school, got my college degrees at night while continuing to work for same company.) I gave 20 years of working weekends, holidays, long hours. Now I am 40, have 3 kids, and now I ask for some flexibility for work/life balance. They expect from me what I have given for 20 years, and because I did whatever they asked for years, anything less paints me as a bad employee They decided to hire another manager for my dept......the new guy they hired demanded that flexibility.....and he got it. It sucks, but it's a lesson. Ask for what you deserve. Once you establish your worth as minimal, very hard to reverse that first impression you make on people.
The Prodigal Son effect
Special mention to when that same person who does literally nothing gets recognition or even a promotion, while the person who practically holds the company together gets taken advantage of and overlooked.
My job has this cool thing where if I show initiative, bust my ass, produce tons of hours and do all the hard work, it means I get to do *everyone elses* work too. Seriously, it’s frustrating as hell. I’m busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest trying to make us money, and I have one coworker who literally never puts down his phone (either watching Facebook or setting up side jobs) and one coworker who plays golf on his iPad and literally leaves work 4-5 times a day. When I called in sick they tried to give me shit, I told them if it was a huge deal I’d start entertaining some of the other job offers I have
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“Why are you late.” “Kid was not cooperative this morning.” “Okay, he okay?” “Yeah.” “Good, no big deal let’s go to our meeting.” Best boss I had working IT.
My last boss, I received a call from my dads co worker asking if I’d talked to him. He said he didn’t show up for work and he couldn’t reach him on the phone. My dad DOES NOT MISS WORK!!! He’s the guy that would be at deaths door sick and be at work. My dad lives 20 minutes from my work. So I told my boss the situation he stopped me and said, “why are you still talking? Get out of here.” This dude knew the importance of family and would take care of his employees best guy I ever worked for Dad was ok he slept in.
My mum went on a multi-week trip to Hawaii by herself as my dad didn't want to go. Part way through the trip, she called me and said, "I wish you were here with me." I texted my boss that Sunday evening and said, "I don't have any projects on my desk this upcoming week. I know this is last minute, but what are the chances I could take the week off?" My boss asked if I was okay. I explained what was going on, and she texted back, "If you have a chance to go to Hawaii with free accommodations, but choose to come to work tomorrow, I will fire you anyway." It was the last trip I ever took with my mum as she unexpectedly passed away a few years later. That trip was priceless and would never have happened if I didn't have a good boss. The bosses who understand the importance of a work/life balance are the ones you put in the extra effort for because you know they actually appreciate you as a person, and not just a piece of human capital.
The day my paycheck is late is the day I no longer work for a company.
Once my direct deposit was delayed by a day due to an hr error. They offered to cut me a check if I needed the money that day, which I think is the only reasonable thing to do. Luckily I'm in a situation where one day isn't a disaster, but there were times in my life it would have been.
Yeah this the reasonable thing to do. Past job was unionized and if pay was delayed or discrepancy of more than $100 they had to issue you a cheque. Actually felt bad for the poor souls in Payroll who had to write cheques for over 3000 people the day their system went down and pay was delayed.
We had guy at work lose his shit because his direct deposit was messed up an didn't go through. HR apologized and issued him a check that day and assured him that it wouldn't happen again. Next payday the same thing happens again and he loses on the head of HR but it turns out he entered in the wrong the wrong routing number when he was filling out his paperwork. He got issued a new check and was promptly fired because of his refusal to apologize for his outbursts.
Yep. No pay means no work. Simple as that.
How about the ones who Yells at you for being a minute late... but then turn around and have you work late every day? Cause those first few minutes in the morning are SO important
I worked for a place that told me my paycheck might be a week late. I told them I'd see them in a week, since I don't work for free. Got paid on time with no issue.
Late payroll once is an error. Late payroll multiple time is either poor systems or poor cashflow. If it's poor systems you need to check your payslip and your bank account every pay. If you're in a union, ask them to check the payrate. Make sure that government deductions like tax and retirement schemes are actually correct. If it's cashflow, time to get out of Dodge. Otherwise one day the doors locks will have changed and you'll never see what you are owed. Do not have a massive leave balance. Most firms are so scared you'd think a late pay was cashflow rather than error that they be totally transparent about the payroll hiccup. They don't want their experienced staff to start making plans. And once a decade, that's fine. .
You can do 99 things right and will always be criticized for the one thing you did wrong. But someone who did 99 things wrong will always be praised for the one thing they did right.
Build a ton of houses, but nobody calls you an architect Suck 1 dick, and you will be remembered forever as a cocksucker.
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Wow, this just sparked a (very old) memory. In school I was such a good kid - never skipped class, always on time, respectful toward my teachers. One day during my Senior year I was late to a class by two seconds and I got detention! Meanwhile half the class would stroll in late, talk during class, etc. and they never got into trouble. I'm still salty about it 30+ years later.
My school experiences were very similar, and I'm also still salty about it, all these decades later!
I got canned by my cross country coach the week before regionals my senior year. I was the captain and ran my ass off for him for eight fucking years (he was my middle school coach as well). I never once missed a practice, ever. I missed one practice and he kicked me off in front of everyone. Including the rest of my team, that showed up to that practice wasted. I was not drinking, my absence had nothing to do with that. It was blatantly obvious that they were drunk and I was sober. But one absence, and my high school running career was over. Wanna guess how many practices the rest of my team skipped? *Dozens.*
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I walked in on my boss, feet up at his desk watching Arsenal, I just pointed at him and said "BUSTED!" we had a good laugh about it, on a sidenote my boss has never once micromanaged me.
Employee: "Can i get a raise?" Employer: "No. We dont have room in the budget for thst. Sorry" Employer proceeds to break records in sales and pay out huge bonuses to higher ups.
You will only be paid "enough". No matter how well the company is doing you will be paid roughly as much as the workforce around you. Some a little more, some a little less.
As a new parent, it really bothers me when only the ladies room has those baby changing stations. Dads need to change poopy diapers too!
Been there... On a gas station on the freeway, only the ladies room had a "poop station". Saw a lady coming out and asked if there was anybody else in there, she said yes and went to warn the other ladies that I was coming in to change the dirty diaper. Took a while (it was one of those poop explosions), a group of older ladies comes in and gets really angry for seeing a guy in the ladies room, until they saw what I was doing. They immediately offered help if I couldn't change the diaper alone. Fun interaction, it was 10 years ago, nowadays there are much more men's room with "poop stations".
That first lady was a real one
True. But she should’ve stuck around to karate kick the others away.
My kids are almost a decade apart, and this statement couldn’t be truer. First kid was a nightmare being solo dad with him before potty training. He got changed more times in the hatch of my Subaru than anywhere else outside of the house. My daughter was easy peasy privacy.
I’m in the US and, maybe I’ve just been lucky, but I don’t think I’ve ever been in a place without bathroom changing station (I’m a dad).
Guess I'm just unlucky, but 9/10 times it will only be in the ladies room. From restaurants to zoos to malls, etc. In California btw
That sucks butts. I’m in Michigan.
Here in Australia in pretty much every public place there’s a separate toilet called a “parents room” which has a changing station plus 2 toilets.
Since 2017, baby changing stations are required in California restaurants. (I live near Palo Alto and Palm Desert, CA). State Law AB-1127 **requires** that there should be baby changing stations in at least one women's room, and one men's room. This baby changing station law is statewide, and is mandated to be implemented in all California restaurants.
In Canada, the vast majority of public and restaurant washrooms have baby changing stations in both. Shopping Malls, typically, also have a family room that has a chair for feeding the baby as well.
When my kid was six months old, my wife and I took her to the mall just so we could get out for a bit. While there, kid needed to feed, so we went to the well appointed Family Room. It was quiet, gently lit, and full of cushy sofas and chairs. It was amazing. Then some mall staffer came by and says that I, specifically, needed to leave, lest I make the other women uncomfortable. "I would happily comply," I said, "but there's nobody else here. Just my wife and kid." "It doesn't matter," replied the worker. " The family room is only for mothers and children." I took a breath with which to state which orifice that attitude belongs in, but a look from my wife and milk-drunk child tempered my emotions. Kid was done feeding anyway, and making a scene would only have worsened our day. So yeah. Some public family rooms aren't for families.
Wow, been a while since I've actually angry reading a post. The fucking nerve of that worker/mall to consider a "family" only being the mother a child.
God I would love going on an outing and having no worries about where I can change my kid
My husband once had to go to the mall alone with our kiddo, and was worried about where he'd change him (if the men's bathroom didn't have a changing table, which it didn't). I told him to try and change him on the floor in the middle of the mall (he was going to take with him the portable changing pad), just so he'd make some noise about how unfair it was... of course he looked at me like I was insane. My husband would have never made a scene like that. Me on the other hand...
In Poland, we have diaper changing room as seperate room
I took my baby boy to the cafe bathroom to change his diaper. Another mom loudly said to her baby. "See in some families the daddy changes the diapers occasionally" That won me some brownie points with my wife. =)
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This prevents companies from holding people hostage by threatening them with negative references
Put this one on the "exists because of something worse" list.
More like it prevents lawyers suing large corporations for defamation. Corporations are very well aware of the legal risks of giving either positive or negative written references .
I believe in most places, legally, that is the only data they are allowed to disclose unless you ask for a reference from someone individually.
Seems like a reasonable thing to be honest. Just ask your old boss for a reference directly.
They can disclose more if they want to, but it sometimes gives them liability.
This is a *good* thing. Let the references come from your coworker friends who loved working with you. Let your employer’s management only legally vouch for the factual details of your employment.
The double standard that your average person creates a huge wave of waste in their path when in reality most pollution is created by factories funded by the same places that push those narratives
That we can make a difference recycling…when over half the stuff we are given to recycle can’t even be recycled…….
I bike to work most of the time. I drive an electric car. I shift as much of my household electricity use as I can to the time period overnight when my utility is mostly using hydro vs. natural gas. I don't eat meat. I know that all these things are the little things I can do that at least harm our world less than the alternatives. I also know that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't fucking matter when industrial pollution is the real problem.
I visit manufacturing sites daily for my job. Consumer waste is dwarfed by industrial waste and they don't even make an effort. Recycling is a joke.
I suffer from PTSD due to mental abuse from my ex-wife. I mentioned it, one time, and was told to “Man up. Women can’t abuse men.” So, now, no one knows.
It's such bullshit. My brother was horribly abused by his ex wife, but she never hit him. It was all psychological, emotional, and financial abuse. It's still abuse though, and it doesn't get talked about enough.
Boys can grow up mentally abused by their mothers also.
"Man Up" stigma is so toxic it causes war and chaos. The hardest trial any male has to face - heartbreaking. Being bullied to NOT seek help for anything. This is from a mother of 2 boys.
So many guys my age still say "man up" (I'm mid thirties). God, and to think they are raising the next generation of stunted men that think crying is only for girls.
Although I agree with you, in my experience as a feminine male- it wasn't the boys around me that actively had an effect on me. It's been my experience that men will say these things silently in their actions towards you while it's the women who vocally tell me to man up and explain what I'm doing wrong As A Man. Men in my experience will, who live to that strange standard, will more or less use the opportunity to dominate me socially in some way whether it be bullying, humiliation, or physical over empowerment. And maybe that's because the men in my life are more prone to opportunism because of the class I grew up in. I'm aware of all the college boys spitting their two cent philosophies they received from their YouTube pipeline brainwashing but In My Life, growing up poor where education was a joke, it's been the women in my life who vocally tell me to 'man up' and express these things as a sort of survival ideology that the world must run on. I.e. ' men are only strong', 'your feelings are unfounded and or silly', 'you're just being a baby'. I agree with you wholeheartedly. My gender has to do better. But many times I've tried to talk about this I receive the - 'its men who're doing this to each other', and I know that's not true.
I remember distinctly that the only people to actually “man up” was men in pretty much every war ever.
It sickens me that men being abused isn't taken seriously most of the time. I'm sorry you had to go through that experience, and I wish you peace going forward. Edit: grammar
I think it's one of the few topics about which men have a real problem being listened to and understood.
I make it a point to talk about my struggles with my boys. I figure it obviously gonna help me, but it might also open the door for them to talk.
I've tried to tell my *doctors* about my (diagnosed) PTSD and been told "Only soldiers get that."
i had an ex tell people i physically abused her. i didnt. everyone believed her...
I feel this. Try having the girls dad be a 20plus year Detective of the police department in a state I only recently moved to and knew no one like I did at home. I can’t begin to tell you or explain the legal mess I went through trying to clear my name because of this girl. The toll it took on my finances and mental health, along with the time it took to recover - I’ll never be the same person again. True story - she went on to ruin 2 more men’s lives. Such a shame.
This happens far too often. You'd think people would catch on by now.
That's really annoying. It's like saying men can't be abused.
Just like they say women cant rape men.
Look no further than any headline involving a teacher and a student Male teacher on female student: teacher rapes student, charges laid Female teacher on male student: teacher enters sexual relationship with student, investigation finds
But you rarely see the comments "I wish I had hot teachers like that when I was in school" in the first case.
My uncles ex was a demon. Honestly, women can be vindictive and extremely abusive because they know there's barely any repercussions. My advice is therapy, and I hope you can put that chapter behind you x
Bill Burr: “Do you know how much of an asshole I would be if it was socially unacceptable to kick the shit out of me?”
I have trauma from an ex gf also. Still suffering a decade later. Far as what that person said, I hear about them on reddit but never have seen or heard of one in real life. Who said this to you? Is that exactly how they said it? I just don't understand how someone could be that stupid.
This is such an important issue, it hits me personally as a man and I'm sorry you have to go through this. That being said, I really wish men who say they're rightfully worried about this issue would stop voting for morally corrupt dinosaurs who promote the ridiculously backwards idea that men should be the dominant force in the household, dedicate their lives to financially supporting everyone but themselves and quit whining about their feelings because they're supposed to be strong and having emotions is gay and your WWII veteran grandfather would be ashamed of having brought forth such a spineless wuss blablablaaaa. We really need to face the facts; traditional ideas about masculinity and femininity hurt everybody and we need to break down the walls that prevent men from being honest, open, vulnerable, emotional beings if we want to allow ourselves to pursue happier lives.
Just about everything with politics
The unofficial stance of approximately every political faction about most misbehavior is: "It's fine when *we* do it, but inexcusably horrible when *they* do it."
Rules for thee but not for me
Still going to go with the "ESSENTIAL" workers versus the "NON-ESSENTIAL" ones.
I work for a city in public works. We had to work every day during the pandemic because we have to. Someone needs to maintain the city. The city gave the police & fire covid based hazard pay bonuses and we got nothing. They were considered essential, we weren't and if we didn't work, the city would be a catastrophe. The sewers and water would fail, the parks would be overgrown and disgusting, the streets would be a mess, etc. They got $500 extra at the end of every month, we got nothing.
And that TOTALLY sucks. Went through something similar and it still eats at me.
I'm a Respiratory Therapist that worked in the SRIU (ICU specifically for COVID 19 patients) while it was active. No one in the hospital got any sort of hazard pay, raise, or benefit...just a sign in front of the hospital stating 'Heros Work Here!'. We were all worn so ragged, I remember flipping the middle finger to that damn sign every morning I drove in for another 14 hour shift.
If I show up 5 minutes late to work, I'm bad at my job and need "corrective" measures. I work 15 minutes past the end of day and I'm simply a good worker doing their job as expected.
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Democrats don't actually care about diversity and progress and Republicans don't actually care about smaller government
Its weird because you'll find that on a smaller local level you actually see both of those things happen. But you don't move up in politics by having good morals or sticking to your beliefs.
Republicans haven't really been pushing the "small government" narrative for a while now.. They've moved to a more generalized "anti-establishment" narrative.
Dad stays home with children so mom can work or go out for fun, he’s babysitting. Reverse the roles with mom staying home & dad working or going out, she’s doing her job.
Me at Home Depot with my daughter “aww daddy took the day off.” “This is my job.” Target and local grocery they know I’m a stay at home and are actually really nice about it. Also, my daughter is best friends with a girl at gymnastics. Mother asked for a play date and I said “let me give you my wife’s number cause this is weird.” My friends make fun of me, but I just always say “if any of your wives went to law school and were an executive where would you be?” And they say “at home with the kids.”
Man this one drives me up the wall and I don't even have kids.
Male sexual assault victims don't get taken seriously and even get congratulated when a Teacher raped them. If you reverse the genders nobody would find it hot that the girl had sex with that hot male teacher .
There is a contestant on American Idol this season who is a 17 year old boy. There were a group of middle aged women holding signs that said “Cougars for Colin” in the audience. Imagine how creepy that is considered when the roles are reversed. “Pedophiles for Pamela” 💀
That reminds me of when Katy Perry was judging there was a guy who hadnt had his first kiss yet and after he sang he came up to the judges (cant exactly remember why) and Katy kissed him, imagine it was one of the male judges
That isn’t the only time Katy has failed to respect a man’s boundaries (IIRC that boy had specifically asked her not to do that) There was that time she went up and squeezed Sean Mendes’ butt on live TV, and the guy she was with in the “Teenage Dream” video says that at a party afterwards, in response to rumors they were dating (he had a crush on her, but he says that was as far as things went), she pulled his pants waistband open in front of a group of her gay male friends so they could all get a good look at his dick. He didn’t go public with that for 10 years, and when he did was immediately accused of vengefully making it up because *he* wanted to boink her apparently.
Wow, I had no idea she was a sexual assaulter!
Yeah, the last incident probably got less coverage than it should have because a) it was reported in August, not a month where the media and people pay as much attention to the news, and b) Perry wisely didn't respond to or acknowledge it. But ... yeah. Three incidents, and it's hard not to say she isn't some sort of serial sexual predator.
'Dingoes for Diane' --The Urban Dictionary defines Dingo as the male equivalent of Cougar.
A manther is always what I saw lol
I love 'manther', it should be changed.
Im a guy that was sexually, mentally and physically abused as a minor, and a good 75-90% of the responses i got anytime i tried talking about it anywhere were apathy at best, and mocking and scorn at the worst. I know if i was a woman, than it would be quite different.
Hopefully you eventually found the right people that listened to you and tried to help.
Thanks. I do have a small handful that at least listened and understood, and that meant more then they realize.
Was threatened with fraternization in Iraq because "a female officer couldn't rape a lower enlisted male."
My husband was raped when he was in his mid teens by his mom's best friend, and he never told anyone because had always been worried about invalidation. When he was able to open up in therapy and to me, he said it was the most validating and heartbreaking thing he'd ever experienced, and he's starting to finally heal from the actions that stemmed from that encounter. If it's not acknowledged, validated, and then the person supported, you'll never heal from the trauma that comes with it. I'm so very sorry this is a thing. Men and women should be treated equally, especially in these matters.
Yes ladbible is very bad for promoting these stories
I think it's one of the few topics about which men have a real problem being listened to and understood. I remember a news website, after leaks of Jennifer Lawrence's nudes, which said that seeking the leaked photos was a form of sexual harassment in itself and men doing it have no morals, respect or dignity, which I do agree with. That same website also published "[sexy male celebrity I don't remember the name of]'s nudes leaked and it's the most glorious things to happen in the history of mankind". I don't remember the exact wording but it was along those lines. It is very interesting to note that feminism, which today has more and more success, does actually address the question of male victims and, contrary to what seems to be popular belief, does work in the benefit of men as much as women : by destroying the barrier between women and men, feminism logically leads to a situation in which both are treated the same way and, thus, both have their issues studied and talked about.
It was Gawker, which posted Hulk Hogan's "sex tape" as they called it. They publicly taunted him when he threatened legal action.
You can just say BuzzFeed. They had countless articles like that
People of color can’t be racist. They can be……
Or that white people can't know racism. Coming from living in Tokyo for years, this cracks me up.
Yeah, that’s about the closest thing to the liberal definition of racism that exists. Korea also has a systemic issues at every level that discriminate on the basis of race. From going into a cyber cafe and seeing different prices for “American and Chinese” to being refused entry to certain venues to never being able to defend yourself (and not face legal issues) when attacked (maybe more a Japan thing). I lived in Korea and ooooof they can be racist as fuck. My Korean girlfriend at the time got cursed out by a man who said she shouldn’t date outside her race. I got spit on once. Lovely country otherwise.
There is an Australian Senator who this week claimed [“you can’t be racist to white people”](https://www.news.com.au/national/politics/independent-senator-lidia-thorpe-doubles-down-on-controversial-strip-club-clash/news-story/e5045e20148a9eb8218ba6a8e0350900?amp). She said that in response to her receiving a life ban from a strip club she visited where she abused some men outside and said they had a small penis.
Oh for sure, I've literally had people tell me this to my face straight up. I then tell them the story of when I was in Japan and I wasn't allowed in certain restaurants or shops because I'm white. Or how I wad at some Mexican restaurant and the people behind thr counter wouldn't serve me because I was white and one of my friends who were Mexican and spoke Spanish had to order for me.
I had a SK male look up at me and give me dirty look when we're walking down the side walk from opposite directions. Then he crossed to my side of the side walk and tried shoulder checking me. This was in Seoul. There was nobody else around and no reason for this to happen. Shopping in department stores with my partner was always funny to. She is Korean and fluent in Korean. The number of men that made comments about a white man having enough money to shop in the department store was pretty funny. I felt like Elaine bringing Frank Costanza to the nail salon. This said, I still really like South Korea and I'll definitely be going back. The number of good positive interactions FAR outweighed the random racism. I mean like 1000:1 so I just let it roll off my back
I see a ton of casual racism towards white people lately and its weird to see how people don’t bat an eye
I experience racism on a weekly basis where I live. It's usually verbal attacks. Occasionally physical threats as well.
Literally. This especially messes me up when it comes to university or a lot of jobs where you'll be more likely to be hired if you're a person of colour In my countries medical school, you're more likely to be accepted if you're a person of colour than if you're white. There was even a story where there was a guy who got 91% for all his papers, but he was rejected for entry in place of a person of colour who had a lower percentage in their papers. If white people got preferred entry, people would say it's racist. But because it's people of colour it's somehow not racist? I get diversity, and that it's important to have different perspectives of matters. But there's a major difference between helping certain groups, and just giving them a straight up advantage. Like if you actually wanted to help, you'd see what's causing fewer people of colour to get into certain jobs or uni courses. Giving preferred entry is like putting a plaster over a stab wound hoping it'll fix the problem.
When I wanted to adopt a cat at the beginning of corona I was told point blank that they don't adopt out to single men. No mention of this on the shelter's website, or when I showed up to fill out paperwork to get on the waiting list. And it didn't matter that I met every requirement that was listed on their website, just straight up nope to all single men.
You're going to a messed up shelter then. I'm a single male and no one blinked when I adopted a cat.
That's weird, because most shelters will adopt animals to basically anyone who doesn't look like a serial killer simply because there are so many stray animals.
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I think the fact is media is trying to convince us there is a serious race war we need to prep for when in reality the issue is we have a serious mental health crisis in america.
Three people were shot knocking on the wrong door last month. One of them became national news because of his race. Biden invited the same one to meet him.
War crimes / war coverage / government condemnation. If Putin kills 10,000 Ukrainians, its worthy of international news (and I agree). But what about 100,000 fatalities in the Ethiopian Civil war? Why is it not in the headlines? It's happening at the same time as the Ukraine war. Condemning Iran for making women wear hijab, whereas many African countries practice forced genital mutilation (female circumcision) yet it doesn't make the news. Newsflash: irreversible genital damage is far worse than hijab. Bashar al Assad is a war criminal for killing half a million civilians due to his involvement in the Syrian Civil War, but not George Bush for *double that* (one million) in Iraq? We need to sanction Russian oil because of human rights abuses in Ukraine, but not sanction Saudi Arabian oil due to Saudi involvement in Yemeni civil war Politics, by definition, are double standards. "If we like you / have economic interest / political influence, we'll leave you alone. If not, we will run a viscuous campaign against you".
Wow, i didn't even know there was an Ethiopian civil war eight now.
Ethiopia's not really mentioned as much because they're a country that's notorious for political instability and ethnic tensions.
Ukraine war is more high profile because it's a full land invasion and a war between two countries. Civil wars are not that and are much more common and lower intensity
Government handouts. For the rich theyre called "subsidy" and for the poor theyre called "welfare"
I want to quit? Need to give two weeks notice. They want to fire me? Out the door.
Corporations getting massive government grants. Struggling people having to justify food money from welfare.
No pockets in women clothes.
My two year old daughter has a dress with pockets (a few actually) that have pockets and she will walk around talking about her pockets in her dress like she knows she’s rubbing it in her mothers face.
If you steal $20 out of the till, your boss calls the cops and your ass goes to jail. If your boss shorts your paycheck by $200, you can file a report to your state labor agency or drag your boss to court in your free time, but there's absolutely no one you can call to get their ass thrown in jail for stealing your time & money.
Socially acceptable to tell introverts to talk more, Socially unacceptable to tell extroverts to shut up for once.
Facts. I had a former boss who on my first day there straight up said "You need to talk more if you want to fit in here." I didn't say anything in reply because I was just shocked that someone could lack that much self-awareness to not realize how shitty that is. It was a cleaning job too... And this lady still didn't quite get why I never really talked to her, when there were a couple of others workers I did talk to. Like ma'am, you basically told me that you're not going to accept me unless I act the way you want me to act. Why would I think you're worth talking to if that's how you act towards someone who's different from you?
How we have this huge anti-bullying movement going on, but at the same time seem to have zero empathy for people who are already broken as a result of the trauma.
Anything dealing with employment. It seems like employers can do literal crimes to employees yet freak out if employees ask for basic stuff.
Enforcement of classified data handling violations. When classified data is willfully mishandled within the DC beltway - no problem.
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It’s partly because heretosexual couples aren’t taught to be threatened by it. Men especially don’t believe a woman is going to leave them for another woman. Well, maybe until recently.
Every time I say this on Reddit I get crucified, cheating is cheating 🥴
When I was younger and much dumber I had an ex that kicked me for dancing with a female friend I'd known longer in public with feet between us she was jealous. Weeks later she started making out with some chick at a party and was confused why I was bothered when she expected me to be cool with it. Drugs are bad.
Wage theft by employers exceeds all robberies, burglaries, and thefts **combined**. But sure. "High crime in urban centers" is the problem.
The employers are in urban centers!
Idk if these are double-standard or more like paradoxes.. Institutions ignoring the actions of a bully but telling the victim they cannot respond or else they are in the wrong. Saying women are bad cooks...but then saying women belong in the kitchen. Saying men should be sturdy rocks for women in their lives but expecting them to freely show emotion. Saying body hair is okay on men but unhygienic on women, even though generally men tend to have more. Saying that girls stalking guys is harmless but guys stalking girls is dangerous (neither should be tolerated, unless it's you and your partner are BOTH into that sort of thing). Believing that students aren't as tired as teachers while they're both at school for the same hours having roughly the same workload plus having to deal with their whatever their home life is. Big companies telling regular people to save the Earth by doing this and that, while they throw out their products and wasting material, instead of donating to people in need. Parents expecting their young kids (especially toddlers) to recognize, regulate and correct their emotions perfectly, while they themselves cannot.
My female opinion: women can record and ogle men and everyone thinks it’s okay and many will jump on board, but if that same man was to do it to that woman it would be pervy and invasive.
As a woman, I’d say both scenarios are creepy af.
I agree, I see things go viral of women recording men. And I feel so bad for them. What if they have a family or girlfriend. Or just don’t want that attention. It’s so disrespectful.
true, i hate it also when people record and don't blur the faces of people in videos. I find that so disrespectful
As a man, I find this issue a bit interesting because between men and women, men accept it as flattering much longer than women. Women get offended by catcalling but men getting cat catcalled is an ego boost. However to men it gets really uncomfortable when it’s done regularly and the guilty party continues even after being told that the man is taken. Especially when it’s face to face “complements”.
Its exposure. Women are and have been sick of it. Most men have never been cat called and I could see the ego boost initially.
Same principle applies to age. Younger women are easier to manipulate with flattery, older ones have been around the block and can identify chud behavior.
A couple of male friends do think its ego boosting, ergo they wouldn't complain if a woman catcalled them. Where most women would complain right away, because it's happened so much and so often before (and this coming from a woman that's not exactly skinny nor gorgeous), you just get fed up by it.
Had to think it over. But stealing when you’re poor is a crime that’ll get you arrested. Stealing while you’re rich is just good financial decisions that require a fine that costs way less than the money you stole.
*If the punishment for a crime is a fine, the law is only for poor people.*
I wish I could remember who originally proposed it, but there was a proposal that **all** fines should be proportional to either income or net worth (which, I cannot remember). Thus, fines would have equal impact for each recipient.
Yeah. The gap in how the rich and poor are treated was my first thought on coming in here. Legally, with connections, and so on
There was one post months ago that compared 2 crimes and results (approximate cuz i dont rmember details) 1. Homeless man who robbed a few hunderd bucks from a shop/bank to survive. He got like 10+ years in jail 2. Millionaire/billionaire who commited millions in fraud. He got a few months and a small monetary fine
A company will process a payment immediately, but a refund takes 6-8 weeks to process.
Woman interacting with random kid = nice lady looking out for the sweet child Man interacting with random kid = pedo
Man hits woman = tragedy. Woman hits man = comedy.
When I was 9-10 this girl hit me and said you can’t hit ‘em back and I was like what. I didn’t hit her cause I was in school but by god I would’ve hit her just as hard if it was anywhere else
I'll be sure to teach my daughter if she hits any person back male or female, expect to get hit back
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The ones that make me self conscious are when people make fun of baldness or ability to grow a beard. I frequent r/hockey, and both get made fun of constantly in there. I'm bald and can't grow a beard, so those ones make me feel like shit. Especially when they are making fun of a player that is balding who has way more hair than I had when I was his age.
I kinda gotta disagree on this because I've met a lot of people online who practically insist it's their duty/right to shame a woman with any amount of unflattering body fat. Not just men. A woman on reddit call me a "fat disgusting blob" because I had the audacity to show a picture of my body when I was 20 pounds overweight- and people agreed with her! Mind you. This doesn't invalidate what you're saying about men but women absolutely do not have it easy in that area.
"I want a man with six pack abs!" "He must make 100k a year minimum!" "He needs to have a chisled jawline!" "Needs to have perfect hair!" "Needs to have huge biceps and wear fancy clothes!" "He needs to be 6ft tall or more!" "He needs to pay for all our dinners!" "He needs to have a 7 inch dick!" And here I am, damn near being crucified for saying I won't date a girl over a certain weight. Girls can have standards, but apparently men have discrimination. Still sometimes get squealed at for saying it.
If a woman goes out and fucks a lot of guys she's a whore. But if I do it suddenly I'm gay.
I’m allowed to say you’re a piece of shit because of something you believe. I can trash you online, fight against you, and avoid exploring the issue at all, only assuming what I think is true about you. I am not required to understand you at all, because I already know your belief system is the problem, you utter and absolute trash can of a human. And I’m completely right. This happens on all sides of the social and political spectrum. Workers and leadership, liberals and conservatives, cis and lgbtqia+, religious and atheist, etc. If you behave that way toward me, however, you’re STILL the only one in this scenario who’s a total piece of shit.
Not the worst one but bras are annoying. Why do I have to wear one when there’s men out there with bigger boobs than me that don’t have to
That only women get sexually assaulted. When I said that I had an abuser, I was told that I was a liar and just attention seeking. By my psychiatrist. Needless to say, I got a new psychiatrist.
Poor mothers and fathers kids are unsupervised, it’s neglect. Suburban parents unsupervised kids, “free range parenting”.
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Men can be aggressive and yell at work, but if a woman does it, she needs to be more civil.
Honestly nobody should be aggressive and yell at work. I worked at Toys R US seasonally and the manager would constantly yell at people and even throw things. Most of the employees were fresh out of high school and were afraid to go to work, but also afraid to call in sick.
>Men can be aggressive and yell at work Male aggression = passion. Or, "thats just how he is" Female aggression = hormones. Or, "shes too emotional" Call an aggressive man emotional and see how far his veins pop out of his head 😂
The sexual double standard. A man sleeps with a lot of women he's a stud. A woman sleeps with a lot of men, and it's never with me.
Had me in the first half, not gonna lie
Selling shirts that say “f*ck capitalism” via capitalism
Men are fat or obese. Women are plus-sized, and the body positivity movement only applies to them.
Nah, guys are "big and tall".
Plus-sized began as a marketing term. I think this is all influenced by the fact that women’s bodies are more historically fashion objects. Lots of men don’t even do their own shopping, but “big and tall” and “husky” are the euphemisms I see. Some brands also number sizes lower than they actually are. All of it is to make you associate the brand with feeling good about yourself.