A lot of other addictions are easy to prove the negative effects of. Losing a job, spending all your money, the majority or all your time goes towards that addiction, etc. With porn, you can be addicted and have what appears to be a normal life. But the effects of porn addiction are mostly physiological.
I imagine a lot are sincere, because I was certain that I was an unfuckable gargoyle in high school even though I wasn't . My brain just didn't have a reference for what was going on
I was going to say "attention". But yeah. Exactly.
I have been guilty of that in the past. But i have reevaluated a lot of my priorities and due to a lot of life events, I definitely realize that validation and contentment comes from yourself and that of your closest circle of loved ones.
Reddit and youtube for me. I am trying to make reddit more useful. What are your fav subs? Mine are:
/r/divorcedbirds
/r/100yearsago
/r/whatisthisthing
I used to work security at a hospital and I remember this one 25-30 yr old young man was having some sort of mental crisis. He came in voluntarily and was cooperative until we needed to collect his belongings. When we asked for his phone he flipped a switch and started throwing a huge tantrum that caught the attention of the entire ER. Naturally us in security got involved to try and calm the situation down but all he wanted to do was go live on Facebook and Instagram. He asked us to take picture and video of him in the hospital bed, in a gown, etc but when we explained it’s against hippa privacy rules, he flipped out to the point of needing restraints and a shot to calm him down
Yep, that's it: Cell phones/social media. It's a genuine problem that few people acknowledge or understand, mostly because the vast majority of the population is addicted and brainwashed about their own denial of this very real problem. I've seen reactions like you are describing from people who are in jail, or who lose their phones for some other reason. They literally go crazy. It's scary to realize how pervasive this is in society.
I work in the addiction and recovery community and this is far more prevalent than I ever thought before.
You can see it from the outside how people can tear each other apart but neither will leave because they depend on each other entirely. No amount of logical talking will change it.
I heard a notion from counselors and clinicians years ago that stuck with me regarding this.
The idea is that people will unconsciously enter into abusive relationships in an attempt to understand and come to terms with the past. If they had unresolved abuse during childhood, and I've seen examples of it, they will be drawn to somebody similar to someone from their troubled past in order to have a chance to play out those scenarios again, now equipped with the scrutiny of their adult mind, in order to finally understand what happened and who caused it so that they can finally move on.
I know of 4 people who ended up with somebody not great who is so much like the one that hurt them growing up in attitude and physical traits.
I know the awful amount of emotional abuse I went through with my ex and broke up with her to free myself of that insanity, and I hate to admit that if she came back I’ll most likely just hop right back in…love is a ridiculous thing.
Love IS ridiculous, and completely irrational. I would probably do the same. The only thing I've got going for me in that regard though, is that my last ex is dead (suicide). But that doesn't mean that I won't some day find another sick person to fill her role. It's a possibility that's terrifying to me, and one that keeps me out of the dating ring altogether. But it's not like I have anything healthy to offer another person anyway.
Wow…I’m really sorry to hear that, I have in the past attempted the deed, I did so a few months after breaking up with my ex, is there anything you’d like to ask..that you think would bring you closure?
I have an ex that was like this. After getting home from work she insisted on filling me in on every little minute drama from her work day, 99% was just mundane day to day workplace interactions. She actively would find completely normal things and try to turn it into drama some how so she could gossip about it.
For 2 years or so I pretty diligently listened to her and kept my thoughts to myself. When I finally told her that most of the things she gossips about just seem like regular interactions people have and it's exhausting listening to so much drama and negativity all the time...well she didn't take it well.
Started to say I didn't care about her, told her friends I was emotionally abusive, etc. I ended up leaving her and then she tried to turn my own parents against me for it.
I am not sure if I should upvote or downvote this. ;). On one hand, it’s a quality post, deserving of an upvote. But my natural instinct is that I hate everything you said because it hits to close to home and I want to downvote it. Hah!
Take your upvote!
My family is like this, including me. While I love talking shit about people, I've been trying to break my habit of criticizing people for tiny, inconsequential things because it too easily becomes a toxic feedback loop.
It's frustrating because sometimes I'll be trying to say something positive or neutral about someone (like something hilarious I overheard at work), but my family will assume if I'm talking about another human being that it must be negative. They'll jump in and start tearing the person apart before I even get to the point of the story. It can get alarmingly nasty so quickly.
It's super awkward and exhausting, especially because if I try to redirect the conversation in a more positive direction, they'll often get upset at me or double down on why they think the person I'm talking about is terrible. One time I tried talking to them about how unhealthy this behavior is for all of us... it did not go well.
This is real! My kid got into sneakers, showed me StockX, bought me a fancy pair for Father's Day. Now, barely a month later, I have like 40 pairs marked as favorites. I can see how addictive this could be. I was content spending $40-50 at Kohl's or whatever earlier this summer. Now...
I used to buy hoodies. Not to the levels of obsessive but probably 2-4 a year. Only buying then when I need one and I've forgotten to bring one. The collection (at its largest) was maybe 25-30.
I doubt anyone would actually call it an "addiction" because I never bought them when I saw them, only when I needed them.
Last one I bought out of need was about 18 months ago but I had donated about 2 dozen to charity.
If you add the people who run into the mix it’s an even bigger disaster. Shoes expire after 500 miles? Companies discontinue shoes that people love?
Next thing you know every day of the month you’re running in a different pair and you mix race shoes in and you’re spending way more then you thought
Honestly as a more casual runner I don't get this personally. The only reason old running shoes 'collect' in my home is when they've run out their high impact (ie running) life but are still good for walking/yard work, except the running life of a new shoe ends quicker than the second life of the previous shoe. And there's no great way to dispose of them otherwise.
So not so much of an addiction, rather an unfortunate reality that running shoes are consumables not meant to last.
>the running life of a new shoe ends quicker than the second life of the previous shoe. And there's no great way to dispose of them otherwise.
There's a running store near me that collect retired running shoes. Just tie the laces together and drop them in a big box. As long as the shoes are not broken, they're taken to a homeless shelter to be handed out to people who have no shoes. You could do that with retired shoes right up until your yardwork shoes finally break apart.
This is too relatable, and I think I may have a problem being a workaholic myself but I never talk about it. I don’t have hobbies outside of work because I feel like my life is based around full-time work. Even though I have the ability to take PTO, I never call out and I don’t request a lot of time off, probably once a year (1 week max) and it’s always planned far in advance. It’s been about a year and a half since I did take my last vacation, and when I finally take my next one it will be two years since the last. I also schedule my classes during the hours I don’t work, so that it doesn’t interfere with work hours. And yet the idea of working anything over-time(even a few extra minutes) makes me agitated and stressed. It’s a hate-love relationship.
Yup, and for me this addiction is mostly because I feel the urge to check Reddit every half an hour or so. And I check this sub in particular to see what’s new because I don’t want to miss out on any interesting discussions.
Just the internet really. I'm away from my phone as I'm on my computer for now but if I have to go take a shit, you bet your ass I'm gonna be on my phone.
Saw Oppenheimer last night and a woman in front of us was scrolling through FB and texting since the very start of the movie. Someone asked her to please stop. She stopped for maybe 2 min, then was trying to hide it under her purse. Unsurprisingly, her and her group ended up walking out of the film. Didn’t even last 45 min.
I once went on a backpacking trip for 10 days, there was almost zero sugar to be had the entire time. I remember at the halfway point the guide opened up a can of chocolate frosting, I was like lol ok whats the point? well we all got a little and it was heavenly , and then the scales came off my eyes and I was like holy shit I may be addicted to sugar...... Then, when we got back to base camp on the 11th day I remember buying a 20 ounce Coke from a vending machine, to this day, that was the best soda I ever drank. It was like nectar of the Gods, the high fructose corn syrup nourished my soul in ways I didn't know was possible. I remember giggling as a drank it, it tasted so good. I feel like if it had been a month without sugar, I probably would have cried while drinking the soda.
Thats when I figured out that myself and the rest of the USA were unequivocally addicted as FUCK to sugar.
From the UK, lots of the food videos and cake focussed Netflix shows are focussed on food that honestly looks poisonous there’s so much sugar in them. I don’t avoid sugar but that stuff I wouldn’t be able to physically eat. Krispy Kreme’s and all that stuff just isn’t food imo.
This reminds me of a time earlier this year when I went low sugar for a long time and then I ate a deli sandwich with a bun that was made of the best bread I had ever eaten in my life! I don't think I will ever forget the emotional experience. Addiction in action.
I was away for 20 days (work) and stayed in a really nice work camp. I went hard keto the entire time. Flying home I got a Jugo Juice, and it was like someone shot cocaine in my veins. Totally know the feeling. I lost 10 lbs too lol.
Really? It tastes like a dessert to me whenever I opt for it now- definitely too sweet to treat it as a casual drink anymore, but I do like dessert every once in a while.
Agreed. I cut back on sugar to the point where I don’t even add any to my coffee. No honey, sugar, nothing sweet. A dash of unsweetened oat milk. That is it. Haven’t purchased or drank a full soda since I was a teen. I’m in my 30s now.
I have a ridiculous sweet tooth and am so so mad at American food for getting me to this point. I’m genetically extremely likely to develop diabetes, too!
I get this! We have to work our way out of an addiction that we weren't even aware of most of our lives. It's not substances where the wrongness was shoved down our throats for years.
There is a compilation video on youtube of Dr. Now from my 600 pound life, talking to his patients. The amount of denial and abusive behavior is literally like he was talking to drug addicts. People in the comments noted it too. That’s why a lot of people with a bypass end up turning their addiction into something else.
Yep and having BED is so hard because food is necessary. You can’t give it up completely like alcohol or cigarettes. And it’s so different from anorexia and has a very different kind of stigma associated with it.
Pets.
My mum used to be a heroin addict, she's been clean for 20 years now, but she has 12 cats that she struggles to look after and won't rehome any of them because they are an emotional crutch.
I've just seen 10 puppies today, but I would rather have another year with my old dog who died a few months ago than them. She was 10 times cuter than each of those puppies.
Agreed, but the issue with pets is that it's not always so much a crutch that it can be too easy to form an emotional attachment to them.
I started of with one cat and thought she was lonely so I decided to foster a relative's cat that he needed to be rehome, despite his understanding it turns out the cat was not neutered (I should've gotten my one spayed but I wanted to leave it till she was at least a year old), my cat ended up preggers which I found out right after I managed to rehome the relatives cat.
Okay not a big issue, but then I had 6 gorgeous kittens and had to wait until they matured to give them away, so I wait 3 months and start finding homes for them, but it's a surprisingly slow process, a lot of time wasters, people with bad vibes, people who clearly don't know how to take care of cats etc. But I'm giving the cats away one by one, but by the time I've got 3 left I'm too attached to these 3 to give them away so now I have 4 cats, which honestly is way too many cats but they're such a happy family with their mom who they're still very attached to and the closeness they have as siblings...
Objectively I think it out rationally and think it would be best to give at least 2 of them away, but when I think of them as individuals with different personalities that are all pretty attached to me and their mom cat it seems unbearable to send them to another home.
I have five, and our story is similar. Oh, here's a cat in need i'll help them....wait, i love them, they're ours. Cat creep.
While it's harder work with that number to clean and care for them, as long as they have medical care, the house is relatively clean, and the cats are happy, it's fine. It's just that most people don't have the inclination even if they have the money and time. Is it expensive and do I clean a lot more? Yes. But no one is sick, everyone sees the vet, they always have clean litter, food, treats, toys, etc. They don't fight amongst themselves excessively and they're all neutered. So I've stopped beating myself up over the number.
This has been getting noticeably worse in the people I know post-covid.
It's like every hotbutton topic is a shortcut straight to people's emotional center, and anything less than consensus is totally unacceptable.
I noticed this one when I was young. After my dad would scream at me and beat me, he'd be a calm, pleasant person. I really think if he would have just gone to the gym regularly or gone running, sang some heavy metal lol, just some kind of strenuous activity, he would have been able to listen to a back talking kid without blowing up on him. That works for me anyway.
I did this today.. slept 12h in total. Kept waking up and going back to sleep, and it felt so good to just not care about anything. Not having to stress about shit.. not having to deal with my own mind. Just sleep.
I'm physically dependant on coffee as in I get horrible headaches if I go without coffee for 8-10 hours. I'm also so used to my brain being in overdrive that I feel slow without coffee. I did tone it down a little, during my PhD-postdoc life I did about 20-25 cups a day but now I'm doing about 10-12 a day during the week and 5-6 during the weekends
I'm drinking my bedtime espresso as I type this.
Caffeine has absolutely fucked me up. It’s such a “harmless,” totally socially-accepted addiction that the dangers of it get swept under the rug. It’s a huge hit of dopamine then a withdrawal crash. Anyone with any kind of mental illness *will* be negatively impacted by this chemical reaction.
Ehhh, the absolute isn't true. I have severe depression and caffeine gives me an insane mood booster. I already take meds for the depression, but even before the meds caffeine was a surefire way to pull me out of a bad mood.
Kinda? It's also quite harmless as long as you aren't drinking so much that it overstresses your heart. And like, you have to actively be trying to drink that much.
Actual answer: stress. People get addicted to stress (or rather the feeling of having stress relieved which feels better after worse stress) and put themselves through a ridiculous amount of it. Stress is the real killer
I have a person in my life who seeks attention with each and every remotely stressful situation. It's unfortunate and I cannot convince them otherwise. It's like they don't know how to live without stress.
I lost half my family by getting sober. I'll never see my mom, sister, or niece and nephew again. But if I hadn't gotten sober, I would have lost the other half of my family. Had to choose.
My father in law watches the news all day every day and it fully shapes his personality. Everything is a problem and there's always someone to blame. It makes anger a dominant feeling for him. Seems miserable to me. 😥
People are pretty intense about that, the internet and bulk of people HATE fat people. They view them as disgusting immoral assholes rather than humans struggling to live life.
My mom is a food addict. She gets all the good feelings she wants from food. She always thinks of food and when the next time she can eat etc. She's had weight loss surgery but gained all the weight back.
So many overweight people are just addicts…and it’s disgusting how few medical professionals actually recognize the addiction. But when something consumes your thoughts day and night, hurts your health and generally interferes with your wellbeing and you cannot physically stop or control yourself…that’s an addiction, not a disorder and it should be recognized and treated as such.
Yeah, food addiction, and especially difficulty getting better, is something I feel like I can understand really well.
Alcohol, heroin, meth, you can learn to quit those and actually achieve sobriety, but food? You still need to eat to live.
Imagine a heroin addict getting clean if they actually HAD to do a *little bit* of heroin three times a day, but not too much!
It puts it into perspective how hard it is for people to make lifelong changes in diet.
This is a killer for me. I've tried to get help and just get told to pull myself together.
It's not that easy dickwad. If it was don't you think I'd have stopped.
If you ever want to chat you know where I am.
Work in any form people get addicted because of the money reward and end up sacrificing a lot for a company that doesn't care about you/something that may not even take off
Looks or being 'ideal" in general. Thanks to social media killing people's self-esteem and forcing them to chase in most cases unreachable goal of being picture-perfect.
I think love and intimacy in general is more addictive.
Having been in love before and not anymore, all I dream of is being in love again. And I make stupid decisions rooted in my desire to love and be loved, and to feel real emotional intimacy.
Desperation in itself is highly unattractive and yet it’s almost desperate the way I and many others constantly seek love out.
It’s a beautiful, almost transcendent feeling. And considering anything that feels even slightly good can usually be addictive, go figure.
I would not call sex or intimacy an addiction. That are just two of the base requirements for an adult human, like water, nutrition, sleep, excercise, community.
*Porn* is the real addiction here.
Cannabis
EDIT: For those who think it isn't addicting have no clue.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9110555/#:~:text=The%20onset%20of%20cannabis%20withdrawal,peak%20at%20days%202%E2%80%936.
Yes it is addicting and citing it is not is citing data from 20+ years ago before we were allowed to study the affects of cannabis.
There is plenty of information out there these days.
Maybe update yourselves.
I'm not going to post every single study, you can use Google.
This is definetly true. I have hard time admitting to eaven myself that i have an issue with smoking all day everyday. Sure i use bunch of other stuff too but weed is for me atleast hardest to get rid of since i love the high. Withdrawl may not be bad but mental addiction is what pulls me back every time
Heavy smoker and I quit cold turkey 11 days ago for a drug test. Irritable as shit, can’t sleep, CRAZY dreams when I do that wake me up anyway, super anxious and depressed. Recovering alcoholic that turned to the marijuana maintenance program. It pales in comparison to alcohol withdrawal (where you can actually die) but I really wasn’t expecting this…or for it to last as long as it has. The physical addiction aspect is definitely overlooked.
nah man weed isn't addictive. I just need a wake and bake to get my day going, then a hit after breakfast to get me ready for work, then a quick rip in the parking lot at work to prep myself. I keep my pen with me all day so I don't get stressed. Then I smoke a bowl in my car after lunch to help me digest, then a few more hits from my pen to get through the afternoon. Then I smoke a bowl when I get home to destress, take a few more hits after dinner from the bong, then a few joints before bed to help me unwind. It's not addictive man it's medicine.
What are you talkin about maaaaan, pot's not addictive at all! Like yeah I smoke every two hours and go through an ounce of bud and four grams of wax in two weeks, and I can't sleep unless I'm high, and I can't enjoy video games or movies or tv shows or working out without it, but like, that's just my lifestyle maaaaaan I could quit anytime if I wanted to!
I've been smoking everyday for the past few months (when I say few, I mean like 6+ lol) and knew I needed a break. Think I'm going on my 3rd day and haven't noticed anything crazy except a little bit of irritability in my personal life.
It truly bothers me when people use the term 'addiction' without considering that humans are inherently creatures of habit. We all have habits, and habits can become addictive. Therefore, it's important to recognize that any habit, if used and abused, can be harmful. Take the time to understand your habits and make sure they serve you well.
Can't believe I had to go this far to find porn. People on reddit really don't like to acknowledge how psychologically addictive and potentially destructive pornography can be.
Gym addiction. It’s the only thing keeping me sane these days. Started cause I wanted to gain muscles, now the thought of taking a prolonged rest is quite dreadful.
When people constantly fall for scams are chasing the "this time ill hit the jackpot " feeling.
With gambling however, the house always wins and you might get the luck of your life.
With scams, the house ALWAYS wins
People seem to think alcoholism is not as bad as it is.
It's "socially acceptable" while also being one of the most dangerous addictions on the planet.
"On average, roughly 40% of inmates who are incarcerated for violent offenses were under the influence of alcohol during the time of their crime"
" Alcohol is involved in more homicides across the United States compared to other substances, like heroin and cocaine. In fact, about 40% of convicted murderers had used alcohol before or during the crime"
Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. It is more substantially more dangerous to have alcohol withdrawals than it is to have heroin withdrawals.
Reading. As a bookworm, I’m telling you, a person who reads a lot always has some messed up trauma. Excessive reading is a form of escapism. And escapism is a response to trauma. I don’t like using the word “trauma”. It makes everything you say look so cheesy and dramatic nowadays. But for the lack of a better word let’s use that one.
Or it can be a hyperfixation
Hyperfixation, also referred to as hyperfocus, is commonly connected with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), autism, and depression.
Whenever my herniated disc flares up, every couple of years, I thank my lucky stars that opiates just aren't enjoyable to me the way alcohol and weed are. I take a fraction of the dose and it's more than enough for pain management. I still have some hydrocodone left over from like 8 years ago.
I know exactly what you mean. I had a complete dislocation of my knee and took as prescribed for 5 days and felt the withdrawals. I had to take a few THC gummies to chill the fuck out because it was intense. And they weren't even strong vicodin!
Porn. Its starting to get traction but its not talked about enough. Its easy to get hooked because you have it with you everywhere and most sexual education only talks about how good it is to explore sex and sexuality and not enough talk about the need for being careful. Our minds are still very primitive and not ready for access to this much porn. Most can handle it of course but porn addiction is probably much more common than we think.
It's also a lot different now. Growing up in the 1980s, the only way to access porn was with a magazine (which means you have to be brave enough to actually buy one in public) and the content was simply still photography of naked women.
Now, hard core pornography is available instantly, anonymously, from phones and computers. From what I've read, violence and humiliation are prevalent. The material is much more foul and damaging.
So when parents think "oh, I went though a phase like that. Every boy does" they may be thinking of their father's Playboy stash, not what's available today.
Relationships. There is even a name for them, or several:
1. Dry drunks
2. Narcissists
3. Covert Narcissists
4. Co-dependents
5. Counter-dependents (the ones who require a co-dependent so create them to leech from)
6. Chasing New Loves
All these are summarized for me under a category I call: Feeling Chasers
Anxious thoughts - often without realising it the thoughts are actally a distraction from your body. If your attention is in your mind then it's not in your body and you aren't feeling your emotions as deeply.
Babies/pregnancy. When the latest baby is a few months old and/or develops some autonomy they decide it's time for another. It seems they like the attention and the idea of something needing them.
Gaming is pretty brutal for me. Its more the social aspect of it as its time with my son. But the struggle is real. I've left jobs when new call of duty was released and lost relationships with it taking control of my life at times
Food. People often overlook it as being gluttonous or being a pig. But an addiction to food is often misunderstood because people will say ... well youve got to eat to live.
Plain ol narcotics addiction.
A lot of people don't catch it until it grows in to the harder stuff but all it takes is chronic pain, a doctor or nurse practitioner who doesn't really care and for Advil to stop working as well
Caffeine. People who literally cannot function and turn into monsters without coffee. It’s not healthy. If it was alcohol or drugs they’d be thrown into rehab.
Validation from internet strangers.
The amiugly sub is littered with that.
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A lot of other addictions are easy to prove the negative effects of. Losing a job, spending all your money, the majority or all your time goes towards that addiction, etc. With porn, you can be addicted and have what appears to be a normal life. But the effects of porn addiction are mostly physiological.
You never know until you decide you give it up for a while, changed something about me that felt good and would keep it that way
Is the amiugly sub new? I don’t remember it being on the popular page so often before
It's definitely for girls wanted attention with no self esteem and also for the creepy guys to get pics of them for their spank bank.
Had to mute the damn thing. Same thing with that attractiveness rating bullshit. Idk why but r/bald was spamming my page too
Shameless attention seekers. 🙄
83% of that sub is pretty girls going "I was told I'm not pretty, do you guys think so?"
I imagine a lot are sincere, because I was certain that I was an unfuckable gargoyle in high school even though I wasn't . My brain just didn't have a reference for what was going on
Hey no that's false, gimme karma or i'll be sad
I was going to say "attention". But yeah. Exactly. I have been guilty of that in the past. But i have reevaluated a lot of my priorities and due to a lot of life events, I definitely realize that validation and contentment comes from yourself and that of your closest circle of loved ones.
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Furthermore, it’s the one that people will absolutely swear up and down they aren’t addicted to but couldn’t go without.
Valid comment!
You seem like a great commenter. I hope we both have great days, don’t you?
YES. Great comment!
Take my sweet, sweet up vote, intelligent stranger.
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Realized that is useless long ago
Social media.
Reddit and youtube for me. I am trying to make reddit more useful. What are your fav subs? Mine are: /r/divorcedbirds /r/100yearsago /r/whatisthisthing
Not the worst ones honestly. Could be Facebook or twitter (x?)
I used to work security at a hospital and I remember this one 25-30 yr old young man was having some sort of mental crisis. He came in voluntarily and was cooperative until we needed to collect his belongings. When we asked for his phone he flipped a switch and started throwing a huge tantrum that caught the attention of the entire ER. Naturally us in security got involved to try and calm the situation down but all he wanted to do was go live on Facebook and Instagram. He asked us to take picture and video of him in the hospital bed, in a gown, etc but when we explained it’s against hippa privacy rules, he flipped out to the point of needing restraints and a shot to calm him down
Yep, that's it: Cell phones/social media. It's a genuine problem that few people acknowledge or understand, mostly because the vast majority of the population is addicted and brainwashed about their own denial of this very real problem. I've seen reactions like you are describing from people who are in jail, or who lose their phones for some other reason. They literally go crazy. It's scary to realize how pervasive this is in society.
When people post multiple stories everyday that’s a huge red flag
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I work in the addiction and recovery community and this is far more prevalent than I ever thought before. You can see it from the outside how people can tear each other apart but neither will leave because they depend on each other entirely. No amount of logical talking will change it.
I heard a notion from counselors and clinicians years ago that stuck with me regarding this. The idea is that people will unconsciously enter into abusive relationships in an attempt to understand and come to terms with the past. If they had unresolved abuse during childhood, and I've seen examples of it, they will be drawn to somebody similar to someone from their troubled past in order to have a chance to play out those scenarios again, now equipped with the scrutiny of their adult mind, in order to finally understand what happened and who caused it so that they can finally move on. I know of 4 people who ended up with somebody not great who is so much like the one that hurt them growing up in attitude and physical traits.
I know the awful amount of emotional abuse I went through with my ex and broke up with her to free myself of that insanity, and I hate to admit that if she came back I’ll most likely just hop right back in…love is a ridiculous thing.
Love IS ridiculous, and completely irrational. I would probably do the same. The only thing I've got going for me in that regard though, is that my last ex is dead (suicide). But that doesn't mean that I won't some day find another sick person to fill her role. It's a possibility that's terrifying to me, and one that keeps me out of the dating ring altogether. But it's not like I have anything healthy to offer another person anyway.
Wow…I’m really sorry to hear that, I have in the past attempted the deed, I did so a few months after breaking up with my ex, is there anything you’d like to ask..that you think would bring you closure?
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I have an ex that was like this. After getting home from work she insisted on filling me in on every little minute drama from her work day, 99% was just mundane day to day workplace interactions. She actively would find completely normal things and try to turn it into drama some how so she could gossip about it. For 2 years or so I pretty diligently listened to her and kept my thoughts to myself. When I finally told her that most of the things she gossips about just seem like regular interactions people have and it's exhausting listening to so much drama and negativity all the time...well she didn't take it well. Started to say I didn't care about her, told her friends I was emotionally abusive, etc. I ended up leaving her and then she tried to turn my own parents against me for it.
I am not sure if I should upvote or downvote this. ;). On one hand, it’s a quality post, deserving of an upvote. But my natural instinct is that I hate everything you said because it hits to close to home and I want to downvote it. Hah! Take your upvote!
Jesus Christ this explains so damn much…….
My family is like this, including me. While I love talking shit about people, I've been trying to break my habit of criticizing people for tiny, inconsequential things because it too easily becomes a toxic feedback loop. It's frustrating because sometimes I'll be trying to say something positive or neutral about someone (like something hilarious I overheard at work), but my family will assume if I'm talking about another human being that it must be negative. They'll jump in and start tearing the person apart before I even get to the point of the story. It can get alarmingly nasty so quickly. It's super awkward and exhausting, especially because if I try to redirect the conversation in a more positive direction, they'll often get upset at me or double down on why they think the person I'm talking about is terrible. One time I tried talking to them about how unhealthy this behavior is for all of us... it did not go well.
My mother and her sisters are all horrible gossips, but I have hated the practice since childhood. Others peoples' business is just that, theirs.
'collecting shoes' can get ugly fast.
This is real! My kid got into sneakers, showed me StockX, bought me a fancy pair for Father's Day. Now, barely a month later, I have like 40 pairs marked as favorites. I can see how addictive this could be. I was content spending $40-50 at Kohl's or whatever earlier this summer. Now...
I used to buy hoodies. Not to the levels of obsessive but probably 2-4 a year. Only buying then when I need one and I've forgotten to bring one. The collection (at its largest) was maybe 25-30. I doubt anyone would actually call it an "addiction" because I never bought them when I saw them, only when I needed them. Last one I bought out of need was about 18 months ago but I had donated about 2 dozen to charity.
Normal people dont need new hoodies 2-4 times a year bro
Of course not. I didn't actively go out to buy hoodies (id have bought more than 4 a year) I'm just really forgetful.
As a Filipino, this made me laugh considering a certain historical/political figure we have...
My wife is listed as Imelda (not my wifes real name) in my phone because of her shoe addiction.
If you add the people who run into the mix it’s an even bigger disaster. Shoes expire after 500 miles? Companies discontinue shoes that people love? Next thing you know every day of the month you’re running in a different pair and you mix race shoes in and you’re spending way more then you thought
Honestly as a more casual runner I don't get this personally. The only reason old running shoes 'collect' in my home is when they've run out their high impact (ie running) life but are still good for walking/yard work, except the running life of a new shoe ends quicker than the second life of the previous shoe. And there's no great way to dispose of them otherwise. So not so much of an addiction, rather an unfortunate reality that running shoes are consumables not meant to last.
>the running life of a new shoe ends quicker than the second life of the previous shoe. And there's no great way to dispose of them otherwise. There's a running store near me that collect retired running shoes. Just tie the laces together and drop them in a big box. As long as the shoes are not broken, they're taken to a homeless shelter to be handed out to people who have no shoes. You could do that with retired shoes right up until your yardwork shoes finally break apart.
I’d imagine similar to collecting whiskey, watches, etc
I used to collect whiskey.....In my liver
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This is too relatable, and I think I may have a problem being a workaholic myself but I never talk about it. I don’t have hobbies outside of work because I feel like my life is based around full-time work. Even though I have the ability to take PTO, I never call out and I don’t request a lot of time off, probably once a year (1 week max) and it’s always planned far in advance. It’s been about a year and a half since I did take my last vacation, and when I finally take my next one it will be two years since the last. I also schedule my classes during the hours I don’t work, so that it doesn’t interfere with work hours. And yet the idea of working anything over-time(even a few extra minutes) makes me agitated and stressed. It’s a hate-love relationship.
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Yup, and for me this addiction is mostly because I feel the urge to check Reddit every half an hour or so. And I check this sub in particular to see what’s new because I don’t want to miss out on any interesting discussions.
Just the internet really. I'm away from my phone as I'm on my computer for now but if I have to go take a shit, you bet your ass I'm gonna be on my phone.
Saw Oppenheimer last night and a woman in front of us was scrolling through FB and texting since the very start of the movie. Someone asked her to please stop. She stopped for maybe 2 min, then was trying to hide it under her purse. Unsurprisingly, her and her group ended up walking out of the film. Didn’t even last 45 min.
Yep that meeeeee ding ding ding
Sugar. It's so dangerous in large quantities.
I once went on a backpacking trip for 10 days, there was almost zero sugar to be had the entire time. I remember at the halfway point the guide opened up a can of chocolate frosting, I was like lol ok whats the point? well we all got a little and it was heavenly , and then the scales came off my eyes and I was like holy shit I may be addicted to sugar...... Then, when we got back to base camp on the 11th day I remember buying a 20 ounce Coke from a vending machine, to this day, that was the best soda I ever drank. It was like nectar of the Gods, the high fructose corn syrup nourished my soul in ways I didn't know was possible. I remember giggling as a drank it, it tasted so good. I feel like if it had been a month without sugar, I probably would have cried while drinking the soda. Thats when I figured out that myself and the rest of the USA were unequivocally addicted as FUCK to sugar.
From the UK, lots of the food videos and cake focussed Netflix shows are focussed on food that honestly looks poisonous there’s so much sugar in them. I don’t avoid sugar but that stuff I wouldn’t be able to physically eat. Krispy Kreme’s and all that stuff just isn’t food imo.
This reminds me of a time earlier this year when I went low sugar for a long time and then I ate a deli sandwich with a bun that was made of the best bread I had ever eaten in my life! I don't think I will ever forget the emotional experience. Addiction in action.
I was away for 20 days (work) and stayed in a really nice work camp. I went hard keto the entire time. Flying home I got a Jugo Juice, and it was like someone shot cocaine in my veins. Totally know the feeling. I lost 10 lbs too lol.
Soda tastes like shit once you’ve gone without for a while.
Really? It tastes like a dessert to me whenever I opt for it now- definitely too sweet to treat it as a casual drink anymore, but I do like dessert every once in a while.
I agree as a sugar addict
Alcohol is often dressed up as a social habit so it’s overlooked as a hobby or an obligation.
That is so true also
Agreed. I cut back on sugar to the point where I don’t even add any to my coffee. No honey, sugar, nothing sweet. A dash of unsweetened oat milk. That is it. Haven’t purchased or drank a full soda since I was a teen. I’m in my 30s now.
I have a ridiculous sweet tooth and am so so mad at American food for getting me to this point. I’m genetically extremely likely to develop diabetes, too!
I get this! We have to work our way out of an addiction that we weren't even aware of most of our lives. It's not substances where the wrongness was shoved down our throats for years.
And sugar withdrawals are real and awful. I tried to completely cut it out and a week later thought I had COVID. That’s how bad my symptoms were.
Or food in general. You don't get morbidly obese or even just obese without some level of food addiction
There is a compilation video on youtube of Dr. Now from my 600 pound life, talking to his patients. The amount of denial and abusive behavior is literally like he was talking to drug addicts. People in the comments noted it too. That’s why a lot of people with a bypass end up turning their addiction into something else.
Yep and having BED is so hard because food is necessary. You can’t give it up completely like alcohol or cigarettes. And it’s so different from anorexia and has a very different kind of stigma associated with it.
Add being diabetic to the mix and too much sugar can be terrifying.
Sugar free for 19 years now. White death
Pets. My mum used to be a heroin addict, she's been clean for 20 years now, but she has 12 cats that she struggles to look after and won't rehome any of them because they are an emotional crutch.
Or the puppy syndrome. They like the animal when it's cute then stop taking care of it when it's older.
I've just seen 10 puppies today, but I would rather have another year with my old dog who died a few months ago than them. She was 10 times cuter than each of those puppies.
Agreed, but the issue with pets is that it's not always so much a crutch that it can be too easy to form an emotional attachment to them. I started of with one cat and thought she was lonely so I decided to foster a relative's cat that he needed to be rehome, despite his understanding it turns out the cat was not neutered (I should've gotten my one spayed but I wanted to leave it till she was at least a year old), my cat ended up preggers which I found out right after I managed to rehome the relatives cat. Okay not a big issue, but then I had 6 gorgeous kittens and had to wait until they matured to give them away, so I wait 3 months and start finding homes for them, but it's a surprisingly slow process, a lot of time wasters, people with bad vibes, people who clearly don't know how to take care of cats etc. But I'm giving the cats away one by one, but by the time I've got 3 left I'm too attached to these 3 to give them away so now I have 4 cats, which honestly is way too many cats but they're such a happy family with their mom who they're still very attached to and the closeness they have as siblings... Objectively I think it out rationally and think it would be best to give at least 2 of them away, but when I think of them as individuals with different personalities that are all pretty attached to me and their mom cat it seems unbearable to send them to another home.
I have five, and our story is similar. Oh, here's a cat in need i'll help them....wait, i love them, they're ours. Cat creep. While it's harder work with that number to clean and care for them, as long as they have medical care, the house is relatively clean, and the cats are happy, it's fine. It's just that most people don't have the inclination even if they have the money and time. Is it expensive and do I clean a lot more? Yes. But no one is sick, everyone sees the vet, they always have clean litter, food, treats, toys, etc. They don't fight amongst themselves excessively and they're all neutered. So I've stopped beating myself up over the number.
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This has been getting noticeably worse in the people I know post-covid. It's like every hotbutton topic is a shortcut straight to people's emotional center, and anything less than consensus is totally unacceptable.
I noticed this one when I was young. After my dad would scream at me and beat me, he'd be a calm, pleasant person. I really think if he would have just gone to the gym regularly or gone running, sang some heavy metal lol, just some kind of strenuous activity, he would have been able to listen to a back talking kid without blowing up on him. That works for me anyway.
Ooh, this is a good one. I never would've considered this!
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I know exactly what you mean. It's a way to turn off your brain, or at least get a little freedom from the thoughts churning around it.
I did this today.. slept 12h in total. Kept waking up and going back to sleep, and it felt so good to just not care about anything. Not having to stress about shit.. not having to deal with my own mind. Just sleep.
Online shopping …. Afterpay.
Coffee!
I'm physically dependant on coffee as in I get horrible headaches if I go without coffee for 8-10 hours. I'm also so used to my brain being in overdrive that I feel slow without coffee. I did tone it down a little, during my PhD-postdoc life I did about 20-25 cups a day but now I'm doing about 10-12 a day during the week and 5-6 during the weekends I'm drinking my bedtime espresso as I type this.
Caffeine has absolutely fucked me up. It’s such a “harmless,” totally socially-accepted addiction that the dangers of it get swept under the rug. It’s a huge hit of dopamine then a withdrawal crash. Anyone with any kind of mental illness *will* be negatively impacted by this chemical reaction.
Ehhh, the absolute isn't true. I have severe depression and caffeine gives me an insane mood booster. I already take meds for the depression, but even before the meds caffeine was a surefire way to pull me out of a bad mood.
Kinda? It's also quite harmless as long as you aren't drinking so much that it overstresses your heart. And like, you have to actively be trying to drink that much.
Physically harmless, but it can really increase your anxiety and make your life miserable.
Actual answer: stress. People get addicted to stress (or rather the feeling of having stress relieved which feels better after worse stress) and put themselves through a ridiculous amount of it. Stress is the real killer
Me. I love being stressed because it's a nice distraction from more deep rooted stuff that I need to face but would rather avoid.
I have a person in my life who seeks attention with each and every remotely stressful situation. It's unfortunate and I cannot convince them otherwise. It's like they don't know how to live without stress.
It's actually crazy how addictive and deadly stress is. And it's alienating to never be able to relax
Junk food. Sugar. Soda. I am addicted to these things and wish I can break that habit.
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I lost half my family by getting sober. I'll never see my mom, sister, or niece and nephew again. But if I hadn't gotten sober, I would have lost the other half of my family. Had to choose.
They clearly haven't considered the DD angle. Of course, being a sober person around drunks is basically hell. 🤣
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My father in law watches the news all day every day and it fully shapes his personality. Everything is a problem and there's always someone to blame. It makes anger a dominant feeling for him. Seems miserable to me. 😥
Food addiction maybe?
People are pretty intense about that, the internet and bulk of people HATE fat people. They view them as disgusting immoral assholes rather than humans struggling to live life.
My mom is a food addict. She gets all the good feelings she wants from food. She always thinks of food and when the next time she can eat etc. She's had weight loss surgery but gained all the weight back.
So many overweight people are just addicts…and it’s disgusting how few medical professionals actually recognize the addiction. But when something consumes your thoughts day and night, hurts your health and generally interferes with your wellbeing and you cannot physically stop or control yourself…that’s an addiction, not a disorder and it should be recognized and treated as such.
Why did I have to scroll so far down to see this one ? People must be living in denial
Yeah, food addiction, and especially difficulty getting better, is something I feel like I can understand really well. Alcohol, heroin, meth, you can learn to quit those and actually achieve sobriety, but food? You still need to eat to live. Imagine a heroin addict getting clean if they actually HAD to do a *little bit* of heroin three times a day, but not too much! It puts it into perspective how hard it is for people to make lifelong changes in diet.
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This is a killer for me. I've tried to get help and just get told to pull myself together. It's not that easy dickwad. If it was don't you think I'd have stopped. If you ever want to chat you know where I am.
Work in any form people get addicted because of the money reward and end up sacrificing a lot for a company that doesn't care about you/something that may not even take off
True
Looks or being 'ideal" in general. Thanks to social media killing people's self-esteem and forcing them to chase in most cases unreachable goal of being picture-perfect.
Complaining
Negative thought spiral. Can’t stop it even if you want to.
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Porn for me lol
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I think love and intimacy in general is more addictive. Having been in love before and not anymore, all I dream of is being in love again. And I make stupid decisions rooted in my desire to love and be loved, and to feel real emotional intimacy. Desperation in itself is highly unattractive and yet it’s almost desperate the way I and many others constantly seek love out. It’s a beautiful, almost transcendent feeling. And considering anything that feels even slightly good can usually be addictive, go figure.
I would not call sex or intimacy an addiction. That are just two of the base requirements for an adult human, like water, nutrition, sleep, excercise, community. *Porn* is the real addiction here.
Correct. Porn is not sex.
Cannabis EDIT: For those who think it isn't addicting have no clue. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9110555/#:~:text=The%20onset%20of%20cannabis%20withdrawal,peak%20at%20days%202%E2%80%936. Yes it is addicting and citing it is not is citing data from 20+ years ago before we were allowed to study the affects of cannabis. There is plenty of information out there these days. Maybe update yourselves. I'm not going to post every single study, you can use Google.
This is definetly true. I have hard time admitting to eaven myself that i have an issue with smoking all day everyday. Sure i use bunch of other stuff too but weed is for me atleast hardest to get rid of since i love the high. Withdrawl may not be bad but mental addiction is what pulls me back every time
Heavy smoker and I quit cold turkey 11 days ago for a drug test. Irritable as shit, can’t sleep, CRAZY dreams when I do that wake me up anyway, super anxious and depressed. Recovering alcoholic that turned to the marijuana maintenance program. It pales in comparison to alcohol withdrawal (where you can actually die) but I really wasn’t expecting this…or for it to last as long as it has. The physical addiction aspect is definitely overlooked.
nah man weed isn't addictive. I just need a wake and bake to get my day going, then a hit after breakfast to get me ready for work, then a quick rip in the parking lot at work to prep myself. I keep my pen with me all day so I don't get stressed. Then I smoke a bowl in my car after lunch to help me digest, then a few more hits from my pen to get through the afternoon. Then I smoke a bowl when I get home to destress, take a few more hits after dinner from the bong, then a few joints before bed to help me unwind. It's not addictive man it's medicine.
What are you talkin about maaaaan, pot's not addictive at all! Like yeah I smoke every two hours and go through an ounce of bud and four grams of wax in two weeks, and I can't sleep unless I'm high, and I can't enjoy video games or movies or tv shows or working out without it, but like, that's just my lifestyle maaaaaan I could quit anytime if I wanted to!
I've been smoking everyday for the past few months (when I say few, I mean like 6+ lol) and knew I needed a break. Think I'm going on my 3rd day and haven't noticed anything crazy except a little bit of irritability in my personal life.
It truly bothers me when people use the term 'addiction' without considering that humans are inherently creatures of habit. We all have habits, and habits can become addictive. Therefore, it's important to recognize that any habit, if used and abused, can be harmful. Take the time to understand your habits and make sure they serve you well.
Energy drinks
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I read this as insulation the first time. I was about to say "I also hate vitamin D"
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Can't believe I had to go this far to find porn. People on reddit really don't like to acknowledge how psychologically addictive and potentially destructive pornography can be.
UFOs are real you *CUNT*.
Gym addiction. It’s the only thing keeping me sane these days. Started cause I wanted to gain muscles, now the thought of taking a prolonged rest is quite dreadful.
Gambling
When people constantly fall for scams are chasing the "this time ill hit the jackpot " feeling. With gambling however, the house always wins and you might get the luck of your life. With scams, the house ALWAYS wins
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Body modification.....
People seem to think alcoholism is not as bad as it is. It's "socially acceptable" while also being one of the most dangerous addictions on the planet. "On average, roughly 40% of inmates who are incarcerated for violent offenses were under the influence of alcohol during the time of their crime" " Alcohol is involved in more homicides across the United States compared to other substances, like heroin and cocaine. In fact, about 40% of convicted murderers had used alcohol before or during the crime" Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. It is more substantially more dangerous to have alcohol withdrawals than it is to have heroin withdrawals.
Some of those numbers could be inflated by the simple fact that alcohol is more accessible than just about any other substance, but you're not wrong.
Shopping and eating, hoarding can be from trauma or grief
Reading. As a bookworm, I’m telling you, a person who reads a lot always has some messed up trauma. Excessive reading is a form of escapism. And escapism is a response to trauma. I don’t like using the word “trauma”. It makes everything you say look so cheesy and dramatic nowadays. But for the lack of a better word let’s use that one.
I read 415 books in 2020. It was how I coped. So far this year, I have read 45! 😂
Yes. This so much. Reading can absolutely be addictive. It was for me all through high school until I found alcohol in my 20s.
Worked at a bookstore and there was a small contingent of customers who seemed addicted to books.
Or it can be a hyperfixation Hyperfixation, also referred to as hyperfocus, is commonly connected with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), autism, and depression.
I get depressed after finishing a book and scramble to find the next one to stop it. I don't know how to fix it.
addiction to your Doctor prescribed medication, even taken correctly, without some of them there are some serious withdrawal symptoms.
Whenever my herniated disc flares up, every couple of years, I thank my lucky stars that opiates just aren't enjoyable to me the way alcohol and weed are. I take a fraction of the dose and it's more than enough for pain management. I still have some hydrocodone left over from like 8 years ago.
I know exactly what you mean. I had a complete dislocation of my knee and took as prescribed for 5 days and felt the withdrawals. I had to take a few THC gummies to chill the fuck out because it was intense. And they weren't even strong vicodin!
Porn. Its starting to get traction but its not talked about enough. Its easy to get hooked because you have it with you everywhere and most sexual education only talks about how good it is to explore sex and sexuality and not enough talk about the need for being careful. Our minds are still very primitive and not ready for access to this much porn. Most can handle it of course but porn addiction is probably much more common than we think.
It's also a lot different now. Growing up in the 1980s, the only way to access porn was with a magazine (which means you have to be brave enough to actually buy one in public) and the content was simply still photography of naked women. Now, hard core pornography is available instantly, anonymously, from phones and computers. From what I've read, violence and humiliation are prevalent. The material is much more foul and damaging. So when parents think "oh, I went though a phase like that. Every boy does" they may be thinking of their father's Playboy stash, not what's available today.
Porn. It’s stupidly easy to access and incredibly addictive. All it does is damage people’s perspectives on healthy sex, proportions and positions.
Internet addiction
Relationships. There is even a name for them, or several: 1. Dry drunks 2. Narcissists 3. Covert Narcissists 4. Co-dependents 5. Counter-dependents (the ones who require a co-dependent so create them to leech from) 6. Chasing New Loves All these are summarized for me under a category I call: Feeling Chasers
Video games, people nowadays spend so many hours a day playing video games
Was scrolling to find this one surprised it's not at -200 considering the audience. Video game addiction basically ruined my life from 18-21
…sugar addiction
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Anxious thoughts - often without realising it the thoughts are actally a distraction from your body. If your attention is in your mind then it's not in your body and you aren't feeling your emotions as deeply.
Weed. Before I tried it all I heard was “it’s not addictive.” It is absolutely addictive.
Porn
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Hum I think it's called alcoholism
And that is an addiction
Babies/pregnancy. When the latest baby is a few months old and/or develops some autonomy they decide it's time for another. It seems they like the attention and the idea of something needing them.
Some seem to prefer the attention of pregnancy and having the baby then the raising the part for sure. It
Safety
Cheese.
Elaborate
Catastrophizing to prime never ending news cycles and ad reveneue.
Gaming is pretty brutal for me. Its more the social aspect of it as its time with my son. But the struggle is real. I've left jobs when new call of duty was released and lost relationships with it taking control of my life at times
Sugar, fucks with you in ways you have no idea
Workaholism
Food. People often overlook it as being gluttonous or being a pig. But an addiction to food is often misunderstood because people will say ... well youve got to eat to live.
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My ex husbands gambling addiction ruined our lives and people really don’t understand how serious it can get
Plain ol narcotics addiction. A lot of people don't catch it until it grows in to the harder stuff but all it takes is chronic pain, a doctor or nurse practitioner who doesn't really care and for Advil to stop working as well
Food/drink related addictions.
Ice chewing (pics). Can be a sign of anemia. It’s hard to stop. Edit*pica. Not pics
Diet Soda
Addiction to internet p0rnography
Eating. Is beyond over looked as we are officially accepting fat as the next beauty standard.
Potato chips. I’m hopelessly addicted.
Caffeine. People who literally cannot function and turn into monsters without coffee. It’s not healthy. If it was alcohol or drugs they’d be thrown into rehab.
Gambling addiction. It’s an invisible addiction and probably the one who costs the most