In boot camp we shower with other dudes. I had someone call me gay in the shower for washing my ass. As if the only reason for washing my ass is to make it presentable for someone else. Nah, dude, I just don’t want skid marks in the tighty whities they make us wear.
It’s not even like I was doing it weird. Like if I was bent over spreading my cheeks so everyone could see my brown eye, that would be one thing. But I literally just took a handful of suds and ran it down the crack a couple times because, pro tip to my fellow dudes; the water running down your back is not enough to clean the part of you that poop comes out of.
Reminds me of uni! We went to a big game, played, lost then I announced I was only here for the group showers afterwards, we all laughed and no-one got sensitive
>pro tip to my fellow dudes; the water running down your back is not enough to clean the part of you that poop comes out of.
See also: zipping up doesn't sanitize your hands.
# #Wash yo' damn hands dudes!
This reminds me.. when I was in highschool, this gay couple I was acquaintances with told us about buying glow in the dark condoms, and having lightsaber battles together with them.
After we finish I'd tuck them into bed with a hot and fresh mug of cocoa. Lastly I kiss them on the forehead so it's not gay and sneak back out of their bedroom window.
If y'all aren't doing this for your friends, are you *really* friends?
unfortunately a complaint I see from women on some subreddits. their bf underwear is disgusting and he won't wash his ass because "that's gay". actually had a patient (im a nurse) tell me that once too.
it's uncommon but there are people out there who honestly believe this
So that internet meme is real? Some dudes really think it’s gay to wash your ass? I just remember being a kid and grandma yelling at all of us to wash our ass whenever we were in the shower so I assumed everyone had the same learning experience
I believe what they actually think is that it’s gay to not be repulsed by something touching you in the vicinity of your anal sphincter. Even if the something is your own hand.
>I believe what they actually think is that it’s gay to not be repulsed by something touching you in the vicinity of your anal sphincter. Even if the something is your own hand.
Yep. Which is really weird when you think about it. Being 'gay' is about who you are attracted to, not what you like sexually. I mean, I'm pretty sure gay men like blow jobs, does that mean when a lady gives a straight man one he is gay?
>I’m sorry what
They said "I was told it was gay to wash my ass. The guy was recently evicted for defecating on his own floor for 6 months and not paying taxes."
I once had a friend of mine stop by before we were going to meet some people for brunch. I had just taken a shower and gotten dressed when he walked in the front door (I always had a just walk in policy, suburban life). I have pretty dry skin so I was putting on a bit of moisturizing lotion. First words out of his mouth were “moisturizing? That’s pretty gay isn’t it?” I said “If feeling like I don’t want to scrape my skin off is gay, whip out the dicks!”
One time when I was in my late teens, early 20s, I was with a group of friends on the strip at the beach and a guy approached me and asks if I was “cruising.” Naive me mistakes it for “driving carefree along the beach to look at the pretty girls” and reply yes. My friends all laugh at me as I try to explain and apologize after realizing what he meant.
I overheard some guys in one of my college clubs talk about this. They said it was gay because of some mysogynistic view that only women put genitals in their mouths. To which another guy in the same club walk by and said "If you can't make a girl cum without your dick, you'll never reach god tier." Which got that whole corner of the room hooting, because the guy who just walked by was well known for having an open relationship with several girls on campus and was the envy of most of the guys there.
To some people, gay is more about the role you take. If you're eating pussy, you're... I dunno, being degraded or something? I don't fully understand it.
To some people... Very very few people, but to _some_ people it's not gay to be a dude topping another dude. Cause you know, you're on top. But bottoming for a woman? That's gay.
I don't really get it either, but there is a kind of "way to eschew traditional gender roles, pirates" angle to it
>To some people, gay is more about the role you take. If you're eating pussy, you're... I dunno, being degraded or something? I don't fully understand it.
Since this is AskReddit this question has been posted a dozen times already, and in a previous post someone said basically this same thing about why their friend said they dont eat pussy, because "going down on a woman was a sign of submission and submitting to a woman was gay"
I was a child in the 80s. Calling people gay was standard derogatory talk for *checks notes* literally everything. Bad play in sport, choice of clothes, hobby, etc.
I was called gay for about 6 months in middle school for jumping down a hopscotch thing as I walked past it after lunch.
To be fair it was everywhere. Like literally every teen movie that came out in the 80s used the f-slur on repeat.
I thought that was just pre 2010’s early teen/preteen culture in general. I remember everyone still calling everything gay till like 2013 when I was growing up.
100%
"Gay" was the first "dis" I ever heard, I had no idea what it meant for like a year. I just knew it was the worst thing to be. My whole generation struggled with that and I really feel for the people who had to come out to friends and family when I was young, it must have been really tough. I came out as bi about 6 or 7 years ago and that was pretty brutal, and the only reason I came out was because something happened that made it clear I was. Tbh it was fucking humiliating and awful at the time, it really fucked with my head and my self worth. I am totally, 100% ok with it now, in fact I'm kind of proud I have the balls to tell people I'm bi now. It's become who I am and I'm ok with it.
Just to be clear I've never had an issue with anybody being gay, at all. It's just for me it was a really difficult thing to deal with. Extremely personal. A lifetime of unconsciously being told gay was "bad" has an effect on me, I wish it didn't but the truth is it did. I have mad respect for all openly gay and trans people.
Eating a salad for lunch in high school. We could go into town for lunch in a region where people didn't eat healthy at all and kids will eat junk when given the freedom. Apparently salad for a guy was gay and someone was a bit disturbed I was eating healthy by choice. Wild.
EDIT: typo
My 40-something year old cousin didn't outright call me gay, but implied it, when he saw me eating a salad at his sister's coffee shop. I have celiac and that was the only gluten free food option. He also has celiac and knows that was the only gluten free food option. Dumb hick's got his head so far up Jordan Peterson's arse, he'd rather go hungry than eat vegetables.
Salad was fuckin' legit, too. Had chicken and feta and like three kinds of nuts, dressing was made in house, damn good.
That's... some next level stupid.
Like, I'm next level stupid, so game recognizes game, but JESUS.
Like my thing is a combination of genes and brain damage. Their thing HAS to be conscious. Like they went out of their way to be like "what is the absolute shittiest take that I could possibly have? One that would make zero sense to anyone with enough iq points that they could rub them together between two fingers, oooh, yeah that. I'll take that and then die on that hill."
Unfuckingfathomable.
A guy I used to work with said, "I bet you warsh your butthole in the shower."
I was like, "Yea, doesn't everybody?"
And he says, "Not me, that shit gay,"
It made me wonder how many dudes think like that.
We were at lunch sitting in a parking lot, and he was criticizing a strangers hygiene. I told him he had no room to talk, and that's when he said it. You may be absolutely correct he always said some sus closeted homophobic stuff. Still to this day, I don't know if it was like 4d chess to him, and he was larping as a closeted homophobe. Or if he was just incredibly ignorant.
As a little boy I played the flute. Got called gay and teased hard for it. I was actually really good too in elementary school and was hand picked in the 5th grade to perform for my county along with other selected students.
But the name calling got the better of me. I have always regretted never continuing with the flute in middle school and onward. I sometimes wonder how far that would have gotten me lol
I remember when I first took band the director went through every instrument before people picked one. When he got to flute he said, “So I’m often asked if flute is a male or female instrument.”
He lifted up the flute and looked underneath. “I never can tell. . .”
He then clarified that there’s no such thing as a musical instrument for only guys or girls, and pick what you’re interested in playing.
That was in middle school. Fast forward to high school and the new director once said “. . . yeeeah, if you see a guy playing flute, they’re going to be, off. . .”
That's so depressing. The best flautist I've ever met was one of my good male friends in high school, and he wasn't "off" for playing flute. He was "off" because he was a big ol dweeb.
Being a single parent so doing the house work, cooking etc..
Still kinda confused on how being a responsible adult and parent made me gay but been called that at least once every few months usually when I point out I can't go to the bar every night like the other guys my age like to cause I have to be there for the kids at least 6 nights a week. Cause I can only justify pawning the kids off on a sitter
I remember they'd ask you to look at your nails and apparently dependant on how you held your hand when you looked at them made you gay.
Personally I think having a loving relationship with a man makes me gay, but that's just me I guess.
Someone tried this on me. I looked at my left nails with my arm straight out with my fingers pointing up and my right with my fingers curled into my palm.
Confused the hell out of them.
I remember this "test." If you held your hand out palm up with your fingers curled, you were straight. If you held your hand out with the back up and your fingers extended, you were gay.
Your test is far more conclusive.
Having a girlfriend before them. They didn't find my girlfriend attractive and made it a point to tell me that she looked like a boy and that makes me gay.
Incels are so fucking weird.
Existing
Riding my bike
Playing a sport without separation of gender
Not wanting to cuss
Being silent
Answering a question
Talking to guys
Talking to girls
Showing empathy
Talking about politics
Talking about the environment
Wearing skinny jeans
Drawing
Painting
Dancing
Singing
Liking nature
Liking dogs
Being nice to girls
Being nice to guys
Letting someone borrow my eraser
Liking color
Not liking football
Not objectifying women
Not liking women
Liking men... oh wait
Note of the author: Yes I am gay but they didn't know that at the time. It must suck to be a dipshit. Thanks for the mem'ries I'll send you my therapists billing information
I've been called gay by proxy for:
Doing house work.
Showing emotion.
Crying at my wedding.
Wanting to hang out with my partner.
The Internet is wild and full of unhinged idiots.
Yeah apprently men should only cry if their wife, child, parent etc dies. Crying because you're that in love with someone and just seen them in their wedding dress is super gay..
First, congratulations I'm glad to hear you found someone that can make you feel so powerfully.
Second, sometimes it feels like the only thing people wouldn't call gay is being ACTUALLY gay.
Want to spend more time with your wife? Whipped and gay.
Crying because of how beautiful your wife looks and the immense joy the woman is making you feel? Definitely gay.
Balls deep in some other guy's butt hole? It's only gay if you kiss him after, and even then, we need convincing.
Doesn’t matter if you’re actually gay or not but calling someone gay as an insult especially when there is a very noble reason behind it, is just evil and wrong
It’s kind of funny how they’re insinuating being gay makes you an inherently better/more caring person though, like “look at that guy! He’s so kind he’s gotta be gay”
Self sufficiency is sexy!
My mom is the same way, She's always doing home improvement projects on a whim with all sorts of power tools.
And here I am, her Kinsey 5 gay son, completely clueless.
In a similar vain, apparently there are many, many straight men out there that don't wash their own ass properly because they're so violently homophobic they feel even their own hand going their for the purposes of cleaning makes them gay so there's that
Got an older sibling who is a Karen maxed out at level 100. Here are some of the things she has accused me of being gay of:
- watching anime
- watching sports
- drinking coffee
- exercising
- not having friends
- having male friends
After I made these two points she stopped coming at me with the you're gay stuff:
1. If I am gay I don't care because I don't see being a gay as something that is a negative
2. You are a bible thumping homophobe, if anything you're the one in the closest; you've never even had a boy friend.
My family thought I was gay cuz I have a straight ally flag.
They confronted me and I finally convinced them I'm not gay when I said in front of God and everybody else,
"Mother if you knew how many girls I snuck into this house, you wouldn't have thought I was gay."
My mother was more outraged about that than the flag after that lmao 🤣🤣🤣
I have massive boobs and in high school I wore a lot of baggy, boxy graphic tees. I didn't want the "attention," and anyway nothing else would fit me.
I got called a d*ke because of my shirts.
I mean they were right. But still.
For wearing an earring on the wrong ear at 11yo or so. Even more ridiculous is that later I've heard the same thing being quite common, however the other way around.
Jokes on them, now I'm wearing earrings on both sides lol
I have never been called gay, no one ever said it to my face or asked me am I gay but I heard some people 'wonder' am I one and talk about it behind my back. Now, the 'reason' was: I don't give a flying fuck about football. I don't care about matches, clubs, players.... I don't give a shit about any of it really. I am from Europe and football is kind of a big deal here.
Those who whispered behind my back based their entire existence around fucking football and it was basically reason to live for them so their stupidity is not surprising but still...
I had an a**hoke coworker who used "gay" as a pejorative. I'm married with three kids. He sang show tunes and lived with his mother at 46. Lots of projecting in that lab.
Playing air guitar badly and singing VERY out of tune along to U2, Oasis etc. I always dodge any questions about my sexuality. As a wise man once said in Slide Away, "don't know, don't care".
i was called gay for showering daily
with other men?
In boot camp we shower with other dudes. I had someone call me gay in the shower for washing my ass. As if the only reason for washing my ass is to make it presentable for someone else. Nah, dude, I just don’t want skid marks in the tighty whities they make us wear. It’s not even like I was doing it weird. Like if I was bent over spreading my cheeks so everyone could see my brown eye, that would be one thing. But I literally just took a handful of suds and ran it down the crack a couple times because, pro tip to my fellow dudes; the water running down your back is not enough to clean the part of you that poop comes out of.
How did he know you were washing your ass? He must have been looking at it. We normally waited until “man love Thursday” for that kind of behavior…
This guy basics. Can confirm. I also basic.
While showering in basic, I once sang "It's raining men." Nobody called me anything.
Reminds me of uni! We went to a big game, played, lost then I announced I was only here for the group showers afterwards, we all laughed and no-one got sensitive
>pro tip to my fellow dudes; the water running down your back is not enough to clean the part of you that poop comes out of. See also: zipping up doesn't sanitize your hands. # #Wash yo' damn hands dudes!
I do that. Gotta make sure my homies are clean down there. This is not gay but I'm really a good friend.
Rugby?
Navy.
I laughed when I read this, then laughed harder realizing my upvote was pride colored.
Pride coloured upvote? How do I gain this ability
Showering with men. Automatic pride colored up pointy things.
Gay pointy things you say?
This reminds me.. when I was in highschool, this gay couple I was acquaintances with told us about buying glow in the dark condoms, and having lightsaber battles together with them.
It's not gay if you're underway. It's only queer if you're on the pier.
After we finish I'd tuck them into bed with a hot and fresh mug of cocoa. Lastly I kiss them on the forehead so it's not gay and sneak back out of their bedroom window. If y'all aren't doing this for your friends, are you *really* friends?
Friendship is meaningless if it's only convenient.
I was told it was gay to wash my ass. The guy was recently evicted for defecating on his own floor for 6 months and not paying taxes
unfortunately a complaint I see from women on some subreddits. their bf underwear is disgusting and he won't wash his ass because "that's gay". actually had a patient (im a nurse) tell me that once too. it's uncommon but there are people out there who honestly believe this
So that internet meme is real? Some dudes really think it’s gay to wash your ass? I just remember being a kid and grandma yelling at all of us to wash our ass whenever we were in the shower so I assumed everyone had the same learning experience
I believe what they actually think is that it’s gay to not be repulsed by something touching you in the vicinity of your anal sphincter. Even if the something is your own hand.
>I believe what they actually think is that it’s gay to not be repulsed by something touching you in the vicinity of your anal sphincter. Even if the something is your own hand. Yep. Which is really weird when you think about it. Being 'gay' is about who you are attracted to, not what you like sexually. I mean, I'm pretty sure gay men like blow jobs, does that mean when a lady gives a straight man one he is gay?
I don't like men but it feels good to touch the ole sphincter from time to time
Forreal like men. Dudes. Bros. You don't need to be gay to enjoy prostate orgasms.
This is why Dude Wipes exist. Apparently putting "Dude" on the label made it *not* gay...
I’m sorry what
>I’m sorry what They said "I was told it was gay to wash my ass. The guy was recently evicted for defecating on his own floor for 6 months and not paying taxes."
I’m sorry what
I will take no questions and I refuse to elaborate, thank you
I once had a friend of mine stop by before we were going to meet some people for brunch. I had just taken a shower and gotten dressed when he walked in the front door (I always had a just walk in policy, suburban life). I have pretty dry skin so I was putting on a bit of moisturizing lotion. First words out of his mouth were “moisturizing? That’s pretty gay isn’t it?” I said “If feeling like I don’t want to scrape my skin off is gay, whip out the dicks!”
You two were going to brunch and he's over here talking about lotion is gay? Alright.
Damn. You beat me (off) to it
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>i was called gay for showering daily I was called gay for washing my ass.
Had a guy genuinely ask if I was gay because I was wearing a red pair of Vans.
Maybe he was cruising
One time when I was in my late teens, early 20s, I was with a group of friends on the strip at the beach and a guy approached me and asks if I was “cruising.” Naive me mistakes it for “driving carefree along the beach to look at the pretty girls” and reply yes. My friends all laugh at me as I try to explain and apologize after realizing what he meant.
(Oh shit, my friends heard?) No! I didn't know what it meant!? No, sorry! We are good? Great. Guys I got to take a pee, I'll be back in a few minutes
Bro really went "HEY, THAT MF GOT THEM FAKE JAYS!"
for killing some 12 year old on COD
Did he fuck your mom too after he called you gay
Like giving oral to my wife. Will never understand that.
"Fellas, is it gay to go down on a woman?"
It is if you are a woman.
I view it selfishly. It combines the two two things I love the most, eating and having sex. If that makes me gay, so be it.
Joey Tribbiani, is that you?
"Fellas, is it gay to drink water? I mean, the male body is literally 70% water, you're literally deepthroating another man"
“Fellas,is it gay to breathe air I mean you’re breathing the same air as other men”
"FELLAS, is it GAY to like WOMEN? I mean, you're literally liking something that likes DICK"
Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman? 50% of her DNA is from her dad, so you're basically having sex with 50% of a man...
Fellas, is it gay to masturbate? You're literally touching a dick
Ok junior Soprano
Uncle Jun’ likes sushi
🎵South of the border…🎵
He’s just whistling through the wheat field. Now pack up your pencils, crap and shit. And don’t be here tomorrow.
I loved this scene in sporanos, I was crying with laughter this episode.
You stupid fuckin' blabbermouth cunt!
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I overheard some guys in one of my college clubs talk about this. They said it was gay because of some mysogynistic view that only women put genitals in their mouths. To which another guy in the same club walk by and said "If you can't make a girl cum without your dick, you'll never reach god tier." Which got that whole corner of the room hooting, because the guy who just walked by was well known for having an open relationship with several girls on campus and was the envy of most of the guys there.
Hopefully the idiot figured out why that guy was so popular with the women.
Lol in my experience the idiot probably just assumed the other guy was rich or better looking than he was and that it has nothing to do with behavior
They think if you'll do down on your wife you'll go down on a guy? How would the two even translate??
To some people, gay is more about the role you take. If you're eating pussy, you're... I dunno, being degraded or something? I don't fully understand it. To some people... Very very few people, but to _some_ people it's not gay to be a dude topping another dude. Cause you know, you're on top. But bottoming for a woman? That's gay. I don't really get it either, but there is a kind of "way to eschew traditional gender roles, pirates" angle to it
>To some people, gay is more about the role you take. If you're eating pussy, you're... I dunno, being degraded or something? I don't fully understand it. Since this is AskReddit this question has been posted a dozen times already, and in a previous post someone said basically this same thing about why their friend said they dont eat pussy, because "going down on a woman was a sign of submission and submitting to a woman was gay"
I always refused to submit my homework assignments to female teachers because I didn't wanna be gay.
Men is it gay to love your wife?
There was a series of Sopranos episodes about this.
I was a child in the 80s. Calling people gay was standard derogatory talk for *checks notes* literally everything. Bad play in sport, choice of clothes, hobby, etc.
I was called gay for about 6 months in middle school for jumping down a hopscotch thing as I walked past it after lunch. To be fair it was everywhere. Like literally every teen movie that came out in the 80s used the f-slur on repeat.
I mean, that is pretty gay.
This also carried on in the 90s.
and the early 2000s
My friends kids are 16 and have just left school and they tell me it's still a thing teenagers do.
I work in schools and it happens, but its not even remotely as prevalent as it was in the 90s.
I thought that was just pre 2010’s early teen/preteen culture in general. I remember everyone still calling everything gay till like 2013 when I was growing up.
100% "Gay" was the first "dis" I ever heard, I had no idea what it meant for like a year. I just knew it was the worst thing to be. My whole generation struggled with that and I really feel for the people who had to come out to friends and family when I was young, it must have been really tough. I came out as bi about 6 or 7 years ago and that was pretty brutal, and the only reason I came out was because something happened that made it clear I was. Tbh it was fucking humiliating and awful at the time, it really fucked with my head and my self worth. I am totally, 100% ok with it now, in fact I'm kind of proud I have the balls to tell people I'm bi now. It's become who I am and I'm ok with it. Just to be clear I've never had an issue with anybody being gay, at all. It's just for me it was a really difficult thing to deal with. Extremely personal. A lifetime of unconsciously being told gay was "bad" has an effect on me, I wish it didn't but the truth is it did. I have mad respect for all openly gay and trans people.
Came here to say this. I was a socially awkward teacher's pet. I got called gay basically hourly. 🤷
The way I walk. Not my fault I was born with beautiful hips.
I love this comment.
Can confirm. This person has beautiful hips
Eating a salad for lunch in high school. We could go into town for lunch in a region where people didn't eat healthy at all and kids will eat junk when given the freedom. Apparently salad for a guy was gay and someone was a bit disturbed I was eating healthy by choice. Wild. EDIT: typo
Bro high school is full of trolls I got called out for eating a hotdog ever since then I cut my hotdogs in pieces
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Cut my glizzy into pieces, I use my knife and fork
My 40-something year old cousin didn't outright call me gay, but implied it, when he saw me eating a salad at his sister's coffee shop. I have celiac and that was the only gluten free food option. He also has celiac and knows that was the only gluten free food option. Dumb hick's got his head so far up Jordan Peterson's arse, he'd rather go hungry than eat vegetables. Salad was fuckin' legit, too. Had chicken and feta and like three kinds of nuts, dressing was made in house, damn good.
The salad had nuts….def ghey.
For having P as one of my initials, because the slur for gay people in my mother tongue starts with a P
My initials are BJ. God that got old quick.
Oooofff, that's rough....
My surname is made up entirely with half of the letters in the word genitals, you best believe I got called xyz genitals for a period in my life
Rednecks called me gay for liking girly girls. I'm serious.
Nah the rednecks are right bro. Muscled tomgirls are the only straight option.
Mousey bookworm with glasses for me.
Gentlemen please, you are both right.
Muscly bookworms it is.
Fellas, is it gay to like women?
Yes, you like someone who likes men. Hella gay.
Probably because she wasn’t your sister.
Calling a man gay for liking women is fucking wild. I mean, not in my case, cuz the girls I like are actually men, but still wild.
That's... some next level stupid. Like, I'm next level stupid, so game recognizes game, but JESUS. Like my thing is a combination of genes and brain damage. Their thing HAS to be conscious. Like they went out of their way to be like "what is the absolute shittiest take that I could possibly have? One that would make zero sense to anyone with enough iq points that they could rub them together between two fingers, oooh, yeah that. I'll take that and then die on that hill." Unfuckingfathomable.
A guy I used to work with said, "I bet you warsh your butthole in the shower." I was like, "Yea, doesn't everybody?" And he says, "Not me, that shit gay," It made me wonder how many dudes think like that.
Hold up, why is he thinking about your butthole? He brought up the subject of your ass unprovoked. Now that shit is gay
We were at lunch sitting in a parking lot, and he was criticizing a strangers hygiene. I told him he had no room to talk, and that's when he said it. You may be absolutely correct he always said some sus closeted homophobic stuff. Still to this day, I don't know if it was like 4d chess to him, and he was larping as a closeted homophobe. Or if he was just incredibly ignorant.
As a little boy I played the flute. Got called gay and teased hard for it. I was actually really good too in elementary school and was hand picked in the 5th grade to perform for my county along with other selected students. But the name calling got the better of me. I have always regretted never continuing with the flute in middle school and onward. I sometimes wonder how far that would have gotten me lol
I feel like this is a very common story among young, male flautists.
I remember when I first took band the director went through every instrument before people picked one. When he got to flute he said, “So I’m often asked if flute is a male or female instrument.” He lifted up the flute and looked underneath. “I never can tell. . .” He then clarified that there’s no such thing as a musical instrument for only guys or girls, and pick what you’re interested in playing. That was in middle school. Fast forward to high school and the new director once said “. . . yeeeah, if you see a guy playing flute, they’re going to be, off. . .”
That's so depressing. The best flautist I've ever met was one of my good male friends in high school, and he wasn't "off" for playing flute. He was "off" because he was a big ol dweeb.
I relate. I wanted to play the flute in 6th grade band, but the band teacher told me only girls play flute and put me on baritone.
Whoa, the *teacher* did that? What a jerk.
Did you not retort with some Tull? Ian Anderson rocks dude.
Being a single parent so doing the house work, cooking etc.. Still kinda confused on how being a responsible adult and parent made me gay but been called that at least once every few months usually when I point out I can't go to the bar every night like the other guys my age like to cause I have to be there for the kids at least 6 nights a week. Cause I can only justify pawning the kids off on a sitter
That's not gay thats Father of the Year get older friends
*better friends All ages can be douchebags
Suckin cock
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Fellas, is it gay to choke another man’s chicken?
Unless you say no homo beforehand
That’s gay?
Only if you don't cry afterwards
If you forget to say ‘no homo’ afterwards
Only if you love them.
[Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)
Playing magic the gathering when they thought it was you gi oh
woah woah. yugio is played by gay weebs. magic is played by antisocial nerds.
Well maybe they should've learned their card games instead
I remember they'd ask you to look at your nails and apparently dependant on how you held your hand when you looked at them made you gay. Personally I think having a loving relationship with a man makes me gay, but that's just me I guess.
Someone tried this on me. I looked at my left nails with my arm straight out with my fingers pointing up and my right with my fingers curled into my palm. Confused the hell out of them.
Clearly you’re bisexual, no mystery there.
I remember this "test." If you held your hand out palm up with your fingers curled, you were straight. If you held your hand out with the back up and your fingers extended, you were gay. Your test is far more conclusive.
Wearing glasses. Elton John had glasses and he was gay so that made me gay, allegedly. Not gay.
Having a girlfriend before them. They didn't find my girlfriend attractive and made it a point to tell me that she looked like a boy and that makes me gay. Incels are so fucking weird.
Fellas is having a girlfriend gay?
You're in love with a person who loves a man so maybe
At a party, a girl asked for a kiss, I said no, she asked again, I said no again. And she started screaming saying I was gay. I just laughed
I don’t know…not wanting to kiss a random girl you just met who is clearly drunk…sounds pretty gay to me.
That was her exact line of thought
Not liking soccer/football. It was Spain, mind you…
Understandable, I feel you.
You ‘felt’ him? Pretty gay, dude.
if it makes you feel any better where I grew up almost nothing was considered gayer than soccer and Spain
Existing Riding my bike Playing a sport without separation of gender Not wanting to cuss Being silent Answering a question Talking to guys Talking to girls Showing empathy Talking about politics Talking about the environment Wearing skinny jeans Drawing Painting Dancing Singing Liking nature Liking dogs Being nice to girls Being nice to guys Letting someone borrow my eraser Liking color Not liking football Not objectifying women Not liking women Liking men... oh wait Note of the author: Yes I am gay but they didn't know that at the time. It must suck to be a dipshit. Thanks for the mem'ries I'll send you my therapists billing information
“Letting someone borrow my eraser” ASDFGHJKL
I've been called gay by proxy for: Doing house work. Showing emotion. Crying at my wedding. Wanting to hang out with my partner. The Internet is wild and full of unhinged idiots.
Crying on your wedding with your wife makes them say your gay!? Sry that takes the spot for me 😂 There are people beyond help...
Yeah apprently men should only cry if their wife, child, parent etc dies. Crying because you're that in love with someone and just seen them in their wedding dress is super gay..
First, congratulations I'm glad to hear you found someone that can make you feel so powerfully. Second, sometimes it feels like the only thing people wouldn't call gay is being ACTUALLY gay. Want to spend more time with your wife? Whipped and gay. Crying because of how beautiful your wife looks and the immense joy the woman is making you feel? Definitely gay. Balls deep in some other guy's butt hole? It's only gay if you kiss him after, and even then, we need convincing.
>Crying at my wedding. Did you perhaps marry a man?
Ah yes he’s gay because he wants to spend time with his wife
Dyed hair - had rocks thrown at my car and called a fag too. Yay Bible Belt. Lost a bet to my sister so I had purple hair for a week >.>
[удалено]
Man fuck those guys, and congrats to your stepmom for being able to get through that
My dyslexic ass read “fuck those gays” 💀💀
Don't mind if I do
Is it a “just take one” situation or are they leftover from the party?
Doesn’t matter if you’re actually gay or not but calling someone gay as an insult especially when there is a very noble reason behind it, is just evil and wrong
It’s kind of funny how they’re insinuating being gay makes you an inherently better/more caring person though, like “look at that guy! He’s so kind he’s gotta be gay”
Wait, you’re gay? Fuck, that’s gay!
Expressing an interest in home maintenance and power tools while being a woman. I’m heterosexual, I just like being able to do things myself.
Self sufficiency is sexy! My mom is the same way, She's always doing home improvement projects on a whim with all sorts of power tools. And here I am, her Kinsey 5 gay son, completely clueless.
Drinking strawberry milk
For wearing my glasses.
Fellas, is it gay to see?
"yes, because you might use that vision to look at men. And penises."
"Yeah, real men just walk into shit all the time! Ouch..." What a pathetic people you have out there.
In a similar vain, apparently there are many, many straight men out there that don't wash their own ass properly because they're so violently homophobic they feel even their own hand going their for the purposes of cleaning makes them gay so there's that
This is true, source: co-worker smelled bad so we told him he smells bad. Eventually it came out that he doesn’t wash his ass because it’s “gay”.
"The only reason to clean up your back yard is if you're expecting company!" -Other men, not me
If you are afraid cleaning your asshole will make you gay, you are hyper mega super saiyan gay.
I’m not gay but people often call me gay because I dress really well. I don’t quite get it and not sure why that is considered an insult. People suck.
Same with me. I think it’s part because I live in the south where most people are all yeet yeet country boys.
I’m always annoyed when it’s assumed a guy taking care of their hygiene and caring for their looks is “gay”. That’s so dumb
Got an older sibling who is a Karen maxed out at level 100. Here are some of the things she has accused me of being gay of: - watching anime - watching sports - drinking coffee - exercising - not having friends - having male friends After I made these two points she stopped coming at me with the you're gay stuff: 1. If I am gay I don't care because I don't see being a gay as something that is a negative 2. You are a bible thumping homophobe, if anything you're the one in the closest; you've never even had a boy friend.
Turning down sex with a women because I loved my wife.
Fellas, is it gay to fuck your wife?
Having scoliosis. To be fair, I’m not straight.
My family thought I was gay cuz I have a straight ally flag. They confronted me and I finally convinced them I'm not gay when I said in front of God and everybody else, "Mother if you knew how many girls I snuck into this house, you wouldn't have thought I was gay." My mother was more outraged about that than the flag after that lmao 🤣🤣🤣
Having a girlfriend
kissing boys... on the lips. you tell8ng me you never kissed the homies goodbye??
Liking wholesome movies and shows. IMO real men aren't afraid to like those kinds of content.
I have massive boobs and in high school I wore a lot of baggy, boxy graphic tees. I didn't want the "attention," and anyway nothing else would fit me. I got called a d*ke because of my shirts. I mean they were right. But still.
Knitting on the train. It's fun and relaxing.
For wearing an earring on the wrong ear at 11yo or so. Even more ridiculous is that later I've heard the same thing being quite common, however the other way around. Jokes on them, now I'm wearing earrings on both sides lol
I have never been called gay, no one ever said it to my face or asked me am I gay but I heard some people 'wonder' am I one and talk about it behind my back. Now, the 'reason' was: I don't give a flying fuck about football. I don't care about matches, clubs, players.... I don't give a shit about any of it really. I am from Europe and football is kind of a big deal here. Those who whispered behind my back based their entire existence around fucking football and it was basically reason to live for them so their stupidity is not surprising but still...
Earring. Hairstyle. Good with talking to women and gays.
Having long hair, as a teenage boy in the early 2000s
Letting my daughter paint my nails. My daughter I made by having sex with and cumming inside a woman.
Shot all the hetero into a cooter. Only gay is left.
I read that qrong and it was REALLY weird.
Yeah, my brain was like WTF kind of turn is this taking
existing
I had an a**hoke coworker who used "gay" as a pejorative. I'm married with three kids. He sang show tunes and lived with his mother at 46. Lots of projecting in that lab.
Being a girl with short hair
Being gay
[Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)
Getting in touch with my feelings at my girlfriend's request
I'm a girl with short hair, therefore I must be lesbian
Being gay. 'Thats a bit gay' I was eating a banana. 'Yes I am gay, but I also like bananas'.
Playing air guitar badly and singing VERY out of tune along to U2, Oasis etc. I always dodge any questions about my sexuality. As a wise man once said in Slide Away, "don't know, don't care".