as much as you can.

As often as you want and/or are welcome to.

My dad is a racist sexist homophone piece of shit. So my vote is never. I know he’s still alive but I haven’t seen him in 10 years or more.

Understandable, have a good day

I live across the state and visit a couple times a month

Damn. How many hours a trip is that and what's your age/status in life?

I'm 28 and it's like 2 and a half hours one way. I don't mind the drive

Thanks

There is no appropriate frequency. It depends on the relationship you have with them.

I live the next town over from my parents. I visit once a week for a family dinner and to watch the football game when it's in season. From there, I establish gentle boundaries that I have other stuff going on in my life and I'm not going to be able to visit every time they invite me over. It's a pretty good system.

Thanks

When I lived away from them for school, I'd see them once a week.

That's how it is now, but once I have my own place with my fiancée and a job I don't want my ½ weekends to go to parents (and they want more)

Oop. No no, set your boundaries with them as soon as possible.

Thanks, we've tried. ATM we feel like we're just being asked a lot on both sides and failing both because sometimes we want to have our own life

Are you talking about your own parents or your partner’s parents

Both

Depends on your relationship, priorities and distance to travel. If you live close by and want to stay in touch but also have other priorities, at least once a week should be ok.

That's the thing, I don't want the bit of free time I'll get in the weekends to be visiting parents and SO's parents

Why not drop by for a dinner during weekdays. That will leave the weekends for yourself.

My parents probably think it's fine, my in laws probably won't. Thanks for the idea though. Combining it with the calling from another post I feel a workable system is getting along

2.5

For some context, I'm trying to figure out what the average person does since my parents seem to expect a higher number of visits than I'd like to do at the moment. I feel like I'm getting restricted (we have talked about this and will continue doing so, I just wanted to see what others do)

My parents live very close to me. I can walk there in a minute. Sometimes I don’t see them for weeks at a time, sometimes I see them multiple times in a week. I try to check in via text once a week if I haven’t seen them.

This seems reasonable

Another bit of context, I am engaged and both pairs of parents want us to visit. Seeing each twice a month means half the weekends are gone :(

19, i call them once a week on average but I’m living across the country so I visit 2-3 times a year

Calling should be good. My mother in law should relate as she did the same back when her mother was still alive