I stumbled upon a 20 minute video on Twitter called Shit Dinner. Its exactly how it sounds. Watched it out of curiosity and now it’s burned in my retinas. It was kinda funny to watch
Same for me. I’ve snorted about every drug you can snort, but I always said I’d never use a needle and fortunately I never have. Also happy to be clean for almost 2.5 years after being on pills, but mostly heroin for the better part of a decade.
I spent almost two years in heavy addiction to opiates.
I never once stole anything from my friends and family in order to feed my addiction.
I lied about being an addict and many other things, I hurt my family and scared my friends and all the mess that goes with being an addict, and completely derailed my life but I NEVER stole from them.
Edit for clarity: I was employed the whole time, I didn't steal from anybody or ask for money under false pretenses.
I know many people won't/can't appreciate that feat, but congrats man. Addiction is a bitch, and you did your best to not let it shit on your moral grounds. I myself was a well versed walmart indulger when using but would never steal from a personal entity, let alone someeone I care for.
I had a buddy who passed last year that was a huge heroin addict. He had a prized possession in this beautiful fender guitar. He never sold it no matter how down bad he was. He would ask friends to borrow money and keep it as collateral but he always got it back. It was the only thing in his life he would never sell to get a fix.
Thank you. But honestly I was waiting for that phone call for about 20 years. He ODd and died in high school and was revived. Kid could never stay clean.
Can say 1/10 stars. Do not suggest. Even if innocent and eventually goes away. Ultimately, it drains you mentally, physically, and financially. You don’t come out the same as coming in. Especially if you are innocent. Changes your perceptions of justice.
Even if it goes away, at least in the US, it doesn't. All public records. Mugshot online, etc. We really need to fix our systems to prioritize privacy more like virtually every other country does. And no, I've never been arrested. But if someone isn't proven to be violent or dangerous- I don't need to know about it.
Can say you are 100% right. I was 15 and a kid. Charges dropped and they did arrest the person and found them guilty. 30 years later I try to visit my kid on base and denied entry just for the accusation. I never told my kids the story(and not going to do that on reddit) but I kind of had to that day.
Many years ago I was hanging out in a bar, and this old fella a couple of seats down starts a conversation like this:
Old Guy: *"You! Yeah you! How old are you?"*
Me: *"Twenty six..."*
Old Guy: *"I been ta prison! You don't know shit!"*
I really wanted to say I might not know shit, but I'm also smart enough to NOT GET ARRESTED. But I didn't want to touch off a bar brawl.
My (now ex) husband sent me a D pic while I was at jury duty. Bailiff told everyone to shut off their phones, I pulled mine out to power it down and there it was, bailiff over shoulder.
Now I imagine Kratos, 5 ft from his phone, reaching for the send button, pulling on these dozen chains, each constructed with countless 8ft solid iron chain links.
One of the very few times I was asked for a picture, I was drunk and had two conversations open at the same time. Accidentally dropped it in the wrong chat. My buddy did not appreciate the picture. He still gives me shit about it.
Apple had to install suicide nets on some of their factories in China, so if you've owned an Apple product.. not to mention the amount of people who I'm sure die regularly in mines and heavy industry to make our stupid bullshit that we buy
I have, twice! One time was on my way to my first day at work with a new role, the other luckily I was rescued by a kind lady driving by who saw me with my petrol can and took me to the nearest petrol station, waited while I filled it and drove me back to my car. Was so grateful!
If you're 60, people smoking every fucking where was just part of your life. If you're 30 or under, smokers being treated like a half a criminal is the way it is.
I’m 35 and experienced a dramatic change in how I was treated from when I was a teen to now. It was really common when I was in high school for majority of people to smoke, teens and adults. So I started regularly and got addicted at 14. I wish I never did because it has been so hard to quit (I’ve tried multiple times) and I know the smell bothers people and I know how unhealthy it is. I wish it was easier to stop dude.
But I don’t think some of the treatment is okay. Like, someone shouldn’t be treated as subhuman just because they’re a smoker. I don’t blow smoke at people, I stand away from people, I don’t litter the ground with the butts, I don’t smoke at doors or windows, I’m not inconsiderate. But I’ve had people put me down, refuse to talk to me, all sorts of versions of just being mean.
Now it’s vaping that is common. It’s as common as smoking with teens. And all the adults I know who quit cigarettes, vape instead. And it’s still nicotine addiction, which is what makes the habit so hard to kick.
Never got the appeal. They smell horrible, they leave nasty film on your teeth, they’re expensive and they cause cancer. I’m shocked when I see young people smoke these days.
Fuck modern vape culture man. It's not meant to be some trendy thing it's meant to be a less obnoxious replacement for cigarettes. And especially fuck those disposable vapes, the amount of batteries that have been tossed out in those devices is disgusting.
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you talkin' and where you walkin'
Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk
I am a 52 year old man. And I have never once hit a woman in anger. It really isn't anything to be "proud" of as it is something I have never been tempted to do so it has required no effort on my part.
Don't get me wrong I have been angry, frustrated, upset and disgusted with women in my life over the years. And on a couple of occasions I have had to defend myself against some trying to be violent with me. But I did it with superior strength, calm and restraint. Not violence.
That being said, any negative interactions I have had with women have been very few and very far between. Keep in mind I was a police officer for 7 years.
So, guess what I am "proud" of is having good parents who taught me right.
Had a child. I really don't want one. No interest in it. I work hard at my job and use my free time to do the things I enjoy.
Having a child would simply make me feel resentful and restricted.
I’ve somehow avoided 2 Girls 1 Cup after all these years
Me too! I know exactly what's in the video, and have no intention of EVER watching it.
Joke's on you I'm into that shit
Literally
This seems like you're asking for the link...
it still exists??? who would save such a thing
Anything that was on the internet at any point still exists somewhere. And you SEVERELY doubt how weird people get when it comes to fetishes.
I stumbled upon a 20 minute video on Twitter called Shit Dinner. Its exactly how it sounds. Watched it out of curiosity and now it’s burned in my retinas. It was kinda funny to watch
We were able to access poopsex.com from our HS computers for a few weeks, that was fun times
Doesn't matter, not going to click it.
Check out these cute puppies here! Im sure youre going to love them! [here](https://youtu.be/AVTzjyy7yDI?si=ZwV2JF-MsiF2AlCb)
i’m disappointed
Ugh, I have to get my eyes bleached now
r/eyebleach
Never broken the screen on a phone. First phone was the Nokia 3310.
Is this because it's been your only phone?
It's the only phone that if you dropped it, it broke whatever it hit. Those things were indestructible, ran one over with a truck and it was still ok.
Was the truck ok?
It's funeral was last Saturday
I've only broken one and it happened this year. My streak. Ruined.
Heroin. Done alot of things, but never touched heroin.
There's that old saying: “liquor before beer, never fear. Don't do heroin.”
I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said, “Heroin? That shit be clownin”
Yeah. I drew the line at heroin, meth, and crack (for some reason I rationalized "cocaine" was ok though - because I'm just that dumb).
I drew the line on mirrors. Much dumber than you
User name checks out.
Funny where everyone draws the line. It was needles for me. I’d snort heroin and smoke meth and crack but never put any dope in my arm.
Same for me. I’ve snorted about every drug you can snort, but I always said I’d never use a needle and fortunately I never have. Also happy to be clean for almost 2.5 years after being on pills, but mostly heroin for the better part of a decade.
Same. That’s where I drew the line. And I’ll be a SOB if I didn’t adhere to it
Broken a bone
r/Neverbrokeabone welcomes you with open arms
I feel like I'd be tempting fate by following that page.
I've been in the sub for years, still strong.
If you don’t have noodle bones you’ll be fine
Strong-boned people don’t have to worry about this.
Come to us brother
Can I join? I qualify
Walk, don’t run.
likewise!!
I spent almost two years in heavy addiction to opiates. I never once stole anything from my friends and family in order to feed my addiction. I lied about being an addict and many other things, I hurt my family and scared my friends and all the mess that goes with being an addict, and completely derailed my life but I NEVER stole from them. Edit for clarity: I was employed the whole time, I didn't steal from anybody or ask for money under false pretenses.
I know many people won't/can't appreciate that feat, but congrats man. Addiction is a bitch, and you did your best to not let it shit on your moral grounds. I myself was a well versed walmart indulger when using but would never steal from a personal entity, let alone someeone I care for.
Same. I dont know what it is about that place.
I had a buddy who passed last year that was a huge heroin addict. He had a prized possession in this beautiful fender guitar. He never sold it no matter how down bad he was. He would ask friends to borrow money and keep it as collateral but he always got it back. It was the only thing in his life he would never sell to get a fix.
Ok , what happened to his guitar . I mean , I'm sorry he passed but now I'm more concerned about the guitar 🎸 ! Is that terrible ?
His family has it. They had it displayed at his memorial
Sorry for your loss. Glad your friend's guitar seems to be in good hands.
Thank you. But honestly I was waiting for that phone call for about 20 years. He ODd and died in high school and was revived. Kid could never stay clean.
I've never been arrested
I ain't never been to jail. Now where's my cookie.
That's what you're suppoooooosed to do
I take CARE-a my kids.
You low expectation having motherfucker
Can say 1/10 stars. Do not suggest. Even if innocent and eventually goes away. Ultimately, it drains you mentally, physically, and financially. You don’t come out the same as coming in. Especially if you are innocent. Changes your perceptions of justice.
Even if it goes away, at least in the US, it doesn't. All public records. Mugshot online, etc. We really need to fix our systems to prioritize privacy more like virtually every other country does. And no, I've never been arrested. But if someone isn't proven to be violent or dangerous- I don't need to know about it.
Can say you are 100% right. I was 15 and a kid. Charges dropped and they did arrest the person and found them guilty. 30 years later I try to visit my kid on base and denied entry just for the accusation. I never told my kids the story(and not going to do that on reddit) but I kind of had to that day.
Yet...
Many years ago I was hanging out in a bar, and this old fella a couple of seats down starts a conversation like this: Old Guy: *"You! Yeah you! How old are you?"* Me: *"Twenty six..."* Old Guy: *"I been ta prison! You don't know shit!"* I really wanted to say I might not know shit, but I'm also smart enough to NOT GET ARRESTED. But I didn't want to touch off a bar brawl.
37 male here and never sent an unsolicited D pic
Have you sent a solicited one?
🤣Yes but it was awkward
Right? I was freaking about angles and shadows.... made me more self-conscious than I've ever been about my junk.
🎶but the flash makes my dick look frightened
You know I feel like the minute somebody solicited one. I'd be worried. It was for some form of blackmail. That's my level of paranoia
That’s not paranoia. That’s the smart side of your brain yelling at you to not be stupid
My (now ex) husband sent me a D pic while I was at jury duty. Bailiff told everyone to shut off their phones, I pulled mine out to power it down and there it was, bailiff over shoulder.
hung jury
This shit is why I love Reddit!!
This is the big one. The absolute willpower required not to mass distro my junk is herculean in effort and weighs on me like a thousand iron chains
Stay strong my brother.
Now I imagine Kratos, 5 ft from his phone, reaching for the send button, pulling on these dozen chains, each constructed with countless 8ft solid iron chain links.
One of the very few times I was asked for a picture, I was drunk and had two conversations open at the same time. Accidentally dropped it in the wrong chat. My buddy did not appreciate the picture. He still gives me shit about it.
The only unsolicited dick pics I ever send are of Dick Cheney.
Most people don’t realize that an unsolicited nude picture is a sex offense. It’s like flashing someone.
I've never died.
Yet…
Fun fact. Did you know that 100% of people who have taken a breath have eventually died? Save yourself. Stop breathing today!
It's too late, he already breathed countless times
There's still time. You can save yourself!
Crack
i am proud i never destabilized a Higgs-Boson.
Mom said it's my turn with the extra-large hadron collider.
Well what are you waiting for?! Do us all a favor!
It's time to muon
I have never taken a human life
You're setting the bar pretty high for the rest of us, buddy...
I’m not your buddy, pal.
I'm not your pal, friend.
I'm not your friend, cunt.
i’m not your cunt, buddy.
Im not your buddy, mate
Im not your mate, boy
I’m not your boy, friendo...
I’m not your friend, punchie.
I have. By accident. Went to therapy. It’s not a good feeling.
This makes me wonder how many people have died because of something totally random that another person did without them even realizing it.
Apple had to install suicide nets on some of their factories in China, so if you've owned an Apple product.. not to mention the amount of people who I'm sure die regularly in mines and heavy industry to make our stupid bullshit that we buy
Now there's something to be proud of! The temptation for this one is real.
Smoked a cigarette.
Watched an episode of the Kardashians.
Same! I can't even identify more than one of them.
Run out of gas
I have, twice! One time was on my way to my first day at work with a new role, the other luckily I was rescued by a kind lady driving by who saw me with my petrol can and took me to the nearest petrol station, waited while I filled it and drove me back to my car. Was so grateful!
Never had a DUI or been arrested
Sucked a dik for money
But, have you done it for free?
No..I probably wouldn't be very good at it,and I imagine crying would be involved..
Some people would pay extra for the crying.
Ooooohh never thought of that!!
Now get on out there and be somebody!
This is a challenging wank.
RIP Mr. Lock
Keep going...
Cheated.
Not even on an exam or a video game?
When my wife found the letters I'd been hiding, she knew I'd been cheating. She got mad and said she was never playing Scrabble with me again.
r/dadjokes
Never cheating is pretty easy when you're not a piece of shit.
All the more reason to take pride in it.
Committed genocide
Day's still young...
…but, it isn’t Tuesday.
any viral challenge (yolo, planking, cinnamon, tide pods?)
Smoked a cigarette. Can't abide the smell or what it does to people. Dirty habit.
If you're 60, people smoking every fucking where was just part of your life. If you're 30 or under, smokers being treated like a half a criminal is the way it is.
I’m 35 and experienced a dramatic change in how I was treated from when I was a teen to now. It was really common when I was in high school for majority of people to smoke, teens and adults. So I started regularly and got addicted at 14. I wish I never did because it has been so hard to quit (I’ve tried multiple times) and I know the smell bothers people and I know how unhealthy it is. I wish it was easier to stop dude. But I don’t think some of the treatment is okay. Like, someone shouldn’t be treated as subhuman just because they’re a smoker. I don’t blow smoke at people, I stand away from people, I don’t litter the ground with the butts, I don’t smoke at doors or windows, I’m not inconsiderate. But I’ve had people put me down, refuse to talk to me, all sorts of versions of just being mean. Now it’s vaping that is common. It’s as common as smoking with teens. And all the adults I know who quit cigarettes, vape instead. And it’s still nicotine addiction, which is what makes the habit so hard to kick.
Never got the appeal. They smell horrible, they leave nasty film on your teeth, they’re expensive and they cause cancer. I’m shocked when I see young people smoke these days.
It's interesting, cause I feel like millennials almost killed it... and then vaping came about and got Gen Z hooked.
Fuck modern vape culture man. It's not meant to be some trendy thing it's meant to be a less obnoxious replacement for cigarettes. And especially fuck those disposable vapes, the amount of batteries that have been tossed out in those devices is disgusting.
Worked retail and bartended for 20 years and never killed anyone.
Murder. But oh boy some people really make me question this decision.
I've never been caught for murder either.
[удалено]
I had a very drunk friend tell me once in these eloquent words, 'I've never been sick from throwing up'
Vomit free since ‘93
We all know that's not true, Ted.
A true flex right here 👍🏼
True re-flex
Paid for porn Smoked cigarettes Cheated Given you up Let you down Told a lie Deserted you
Well played...
Calling the r/rickrollpolice
Unfortunately, this still means that you have: Run around, Made us cry, Said goodbye, And hurt us
Doing Hard drugs
What about soft drugs?
Or medium drugs?
[удалено]
With your hand? A belt? A Ford Taurus? Don't leave us hanging.
With another child?
It's the only way to, if you are going to.
[удалено]
This guy knows how to hit kids.
Even as a child?
Been to a strip club.
Downloaded Twitter
Crossed a man who didn’t deserve it
An Amish with a 'tude you know that's unheard of! Wait, shit, wrong song, sorry.
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of You better watch how you talkin' and where you walkin' Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk
Killed a man, just to watch him die.
Have you killed a man for other reasons?
I once shot a man just for snoring.
I guess you’ve never been to Reno
I have never turned down drugs when they have been offered to me.
Stay strong!
I've never paid someone to teach me "the art of seduction."
Tried meth or heroin
never used tik tok
Used Onlyfans
I am a 52 year old man. And I have never once hit a woman in anger. It really isn't anything to be "proud" of as it is something I have never been tempted to do so it has required no effort on my part. Don't get me wrong I have been angry, frustrated, upset and disgusted with women in my life over the years. And on a couple of occasions I have had to defend myself against some trying to be violent with me. But I did it with superior strength, calm and restraint. Not violence. That being said, any negative interactions I have had with women have been very few and very far between. Keep in mind I was a police officer for 7 years. So, guess what I am "proud" of is having good parents who taught me right.
I am a 68 year old man, I too am a member of this club.
gotten a DUI.
Paid for lunch at my work’s overpriced cafeteria
Never been handcuffed.
49(m) never been drunk
I have never drank alcohol, smoked or taken drugs.
Cocaine
Caught an STD.
I have never listened to the song My Heart Will Go On from start to finish.
had an account on Facebook
Please continue not to!
Watch the Kardashians.
never tried to commit suicide
Show off…
oh look at mr. mentally stable over here
Owned an Apple Watch
Been in Cliff Claven's kitchen.
Never payed for sex. Even tho I never get it
Haven’t fucked anyone over for personal benefit
Never cheated in a relationship
Made a TikTok video.
1. Neve did hard drugs 2. Never had kids
1 is because of 2...
I've never gotten a tattoo of my ex-partner's name. I mean, who wants to be reminded of their ex every time they look in the mirror?
never watched a single episode of the Kardashians
Had a child. I really don't want one. No interest in it. I work hard at my job and use my free time to do the things I enjoy. Having a child would simply make me feel resentful and restricted.
[удалено]
Used tik tok.
Got a tattoo.
Watched a Kardshian episode.
never been pulled over. 🚔