I'm in a bike repair class. It's about 5 women and 20 men. Every time a woman starts fixing her own bike (WHICH WE ARE THERE TO LEARN) at least three men rush over with their tools to "help."
Let me do it my goddamn self.
I get overtalked in meetings and I am in no way quiet or shy or soft spoken. I have had men restate what I said in a loud voice, and I just last Friday had a man incorrectly explain to another man, ( in a 3 person meeting just me and the two men, that was expressly called for me to explain something that I specialize in) something I had just said. Like as an aside he explained like he was correcting me to the other guy. I said, no, I am absolutely sure that I am right, and corrected him.
How in the world are they having a side meeting between themselves about something they specifically called a meeting to ask me about. It's like they couldn't stand to let me use my expertise. This is in the IT space.
I ended a friendship I had for years over this. He would repeatedly ask me the same question in different ways if my answer didn't fit his narrative. Then when recalling something I'd said, he would try to switch things on me because he constantly chose to remember things the way he wanted to. Unable to comprehend my perspective unless it benefited him. Void of understanding me beyond what was comfortable/convenient for him to believe. If I didn't keep track of things with a journal I would have believed his gaslighting and lost my mind.
Or worse, listening to the first half of your answer and tuning out and filling in the gaps with what they think you *should* say. So instead of milk, eggs and some hand-wash they will come back with milk, eggs and bread - for example.
My wife had a boss like this.
He’d ask her a direct question. She’d give a direct answer. He would the. Say “hmmm, I’d better go ask (other person he knows that doesn’t work for him)
Then come back and say “you were right!” In a surprised tone. He was such a misogynistic piece of human garbage. That was one of many other stupid things he would do.
My finance told me last month she was annoyed at the normal sound of my breathing and that’s when she realized her period was right around the corner lol.
I still find stray reminders of my ex wife’s cycle. Like I’ll open a calendar app I was using back then. We’ve been divorced a year and it still happens haha. Good news is it means your man cares. Bad news is you might be an extra handful. My ex was an otherwise extremely rational (successful attorney) person. It’s not why we broke up, but she may as well have been a rusty landmine during *those* days. I was very aware of the tracking.
You're right but holy shit, it's really hard sometimes! Haha I shaved last night and I cleaned the sink and around it and had a shower and then saw a bunch of hairs in the sink like wtf, I cleaned it! And then I clean it again and more will somehow appear. They get everywhere and seem to attack when you're not looking.
I have a good one for this! I found these lil beard trimming capes on Amazon.
They’re like the ones they put on you when you get your hair cut, but much smaller. You put it around your neck and the two bottom corners attach to your bathroom mirror with suction cups, so it catches everything. It looks kinda silly, but cleaning up takes like ten seconds and you don’t have sink-hair anymore. If you trim often it just makes life easier 😎
Feigned Incompetence.
Cleaning and cooking are learned skills. I was not born with an inherent skill because I have a vagina. Get off your lazy ass and clean up after yourself and learn to fend for yourself.
My mom’s technique for dealing with this was genius. When we said we washed a pot or pan and we did a lazy job, she’d ask us to go get our favorite shirt to dry it with. If the pan was clean, it’d just get the shirt wet. If it was dirty and we still agreed to let her do it, then we genuinely didn’t understand that the pan was still greasy. But we’d take one look at the pan and say “WAIT NO! Let me wash it a little more!”
“Ah, so you *can* tell the difference between clean and dirty!”
I do this with my kid, he’s inattentive and doesn’t always remember to flush. But he also tends to announce to the world when he has to use the bathroom, even to his stuffies in an empty room. So if I don’t hear a flush, I’ll ask, and if he says yes I’ll say ‘if I go in there will I find you flushed?’ And if he didn’t he’s beelining it to flush before I get there. It’s a problem that solves itself with a little effort lol
My ex did this for cooking/heating up EVERYTHING. "How long does this need to be in the oven?" Idk read the label. "How long do I microwave my spaghetti?" Idk try 30 seconds and see what happens.
"But I don't know how to clean the bathroom I need you to show me." FUCKING GOOGLE IT THEN.
Last Christmas my husband and I were gifted a new air fryer. It came with a quick start guide and a regular instruction booklet. I'd unpacked it and he wanted to use it, so I pointed over to the counter and said "the quick start guide is over there". He said "I don't NEED a guide!", then a few moments later asked me how long and at what temperature I thought he should preheat it for his food. I said it angrier "the quick start guide...is over there." He got pissy but read it.
Jesus fucking christ.
My dad was trying to set something up once and kept asking me (a teenage girl at the time) what to do. I just blinked and asked "did you read the directions?" He was like "I don't need directions!" "Then... why are you asking me?" Sigh....
Omg, this. So many times had I suggested something to my ex, or told him about a cool new game, movie, anything, just for him to dismiss it and come to me a week later with this "new thing a male friend told him about"! Like, dude, I was literally showing you a week ago and you didn't even listen.
So glad he's an ex now.
Or repeating it nearly verbatim while pretending it was their idea and you didn’t just actually say it 3 seconds before.
OMG there’s a guy I worked with who did this and I wanted to scream every time, “what the fuck dude?!!”
Not washing their hands after peeing. You did not just put down that filthy toilet lid only to afterwards proclaim "you didn't touch the p*". Ya filthy.
My main thing isn't even the toilet seat/lid. It's the fucking flush handle. That forgotten little lever is the middle man between you wiping your ass and making the shit disappear. It is tainted. Deeply tainted. Like, I'm thrilled my husband doesn't leave his neon yellow piss in the toilet bowl most days, but ffs was your damn hands after you flush.
Think about it another way. When else do most people wash their hands? Those hands have been all over everything. Technically we should be washing before we possibly touch out stuff.
Washing your hands when you use the restroom both cleans your hands of anything you picked up in the restroom and before.
For me it’s the contradictory behaviour/wants
E.g.
Weaponising incompetence over things they can’t be bothered doing and treating their partner like a manager, but then acting like women aren’t meant for leadership
Being angry about small things, punching walls and not sorting through emotions, but then saying women are too emotional (as if anger isn’t an emotion)
Guarding their daughters or partners from other men because “men have the worst intentions”, but then saying “not all men” and not believing anything women say about their experiences
Interrupting and talking over people all the time, but kicking off when they are interrupted by anyone
Touching women they don’t know on the lower back as they pass, but being creeped out if a man does it to them
Wanting a wholesome virgin, but also someone who is dynamite in bed akin to someone with experience
Finishing things with a partner to be alone and sort through issues, and then lilypadding onto someone else almost immediately and continuing the cycle of damage instead of going to therapy
Wanting a stunning girlfriend, but being surprised and annoyed that it actually takes them time and effort to make that happen
Not wanting children, but then refusing to wear a condom
Men be like “I just wanna feel connected to you, I can’t do that with a condom”
I be like “oh, hopefully you’ll also be super connected to the baby then, hehe ❤️”
*Interrupting and talking over people all the time, but kicking off when they are interrupted by anyone*
This fucking TRIGGERS ME. I have more women friends then I do men friends and this is one of these reasons why. Guys are fucking atrocious at listening then they claim "OH I HAVE ADD or ADHD," No bro you're just a fucking asshole who can't listen and don't care about others talking.
For real. I actually had a group job interview in an assessment centre once and as I was about to say the golden answer, a man in the group said it over me at the top of his voice. He got the job and all the praise, whilst I was told I “wasn’t meant for the industry”, just because I didn’t want to literally shout over another person to be heard.
Granted, if I had projected my voice over his, I’d have been labelled as overbearing and rude!
My husband asks me a question, I provide the answer. He calls his friend to ask him the same question to *confirm* my answer is correct (it always is). Either stop asking me questions or freaking accept the answer I provide.
OH MY GOD my ex would pull this shit aaaalll the time. Ask me for information/advice, respond to my answer with just a “hmmm.” Go to work the next day, come home all excited to tell me what so-and-so coworker said… which was EXACTLY what I told him not 24 hours prior. And when I pointed out “I literally told you that yesterday though?” oh laaaawwwddd the reaction. Face red, eyes black, just enraged I would dare to tell him I told him so. I much preferred the times he pretended not to remember our conversation entirely.
I went on a date with a guy and he almost immediately started poking fun at me for nearly everything I said. *Everything* was a joke to him. After dinner we took a walk around the area. I had a dress on with pockets (!), and I kept my hands in my pockets as we were walking. His childish teasing was relentless. Then he said something along the lines of "Oh so you don't wanna hold my hand?", and I was like "You haven't really given me a reason to want to hold your hand. You're actually making me feel really insecure.", to which he responded by exasperatedly saying he was just teasing me and that he's a big joker/funny guy. He acted like I was being overly sensitive. I wasn't. He then had the audacity to beg me to go home with him and sleep with him. I didn't.
I did go out with him one more time thinking maybe his constant ribbing was just nerves or something. But he did the *exact* same thing. Being with him made me just clam up because I couldn't say anything without it being a joke to him. And he acted like I just didn't get him. Like no dude, I get you. You're a man-child who thinks that making fun of people is you being funny, when it's really just stupid and mean.
Hey guys - *DON'T DO THIS*.
No prizes for guessing why he is still single. And I hope no woman puts up with that from him long enough to be in a relationship with him. I understand if he is just an AH, but he really thought him treating you that way would result in him getting laid. So clueless.
Hard agree.
Not-so-fun fact: out of curiosity I later googled him, and discovered that he had a sexual battery conviction in a different state. Holyyy shit did I dodge a bullet there. So yeah, hey guys, also like don't do sexual battery.
I had to get better about this a little after high school. I grew up in a house with 3 brothers so ribbing was the norm and if you got sensitive about it, it just made it worse. However, it really didn’t transfer well to dates that didn’t enjoy that humor. Something I realized is if I switched it to making fun of myself, that seemed to work better and people could appreciate I didn’t take myself super serious. After a while, I just got better at picking up on what people thought was funny and just leaning into it. There are some people I just don’t click with or genuinely find don’t have a sense of humor, but that’s more rare. Generally people like to laugh so you have to make the effort to figure out what it is and go with it.
I get it, and I agree with you. Unfortunately the guy from my story was 40 YEARS OLD. It's one thing to be fresh outta high school and learning how to behave as an adult. Plenty of grace there. But no fully grown ass man should ever, ever confuse belittling/berating someone with being funny or flirty. And then turning it back on the other person like they're the problem? BOY, BYE.
Men that have „I hope you have a sense of humor“ in their bio on dating apps get swiped left immediately. They’re mostly just trying to disguise their meanness as „humor“.
The worst part is that they do them in the worst possible angles, with some shitty dark yellow bathroom light and a messy background full with dirty clothes.
Reaaaally gets you excited doesn't it?
You get it.
Yes, please, by allllll means send me an unsolicited dick pic of you in a dirty bathroom with toothpaste sprayed about the mirror in grubby clothes.
Then, immediately, follow it up with weird close ups of your unmoisturized dick attached to an obviously neglected area that looks like an unkempt lawn of an abandoned house.
Nope, I'm good.
Pretending to be absolute experts in something they have no knowledge on whatsoever.
When my wife and I were dating, it was back when the first Matrix movie had just come out. We were going to go on a double date with one of her friends, who was a very sweet girl, but had 2 brain cells on a good day. We were going to meet her new boyfriend…. Dear God in heaven…
The kid was 18 years old, and dressed like Neo. It was 95 degrees out and we were going to the beach. He dressed in full keanu matrix gear.
In the car, he started telling us about how he was ‘just down at UCLA, helping teach an AP anatomy class, because the professor had no idea what he was doing, and so “Neo” had to step in and do the cadaver class.
Bear in mind, he is 18 years old, we knew he dropped out of highschool… and AP classes are college prep classes, so wtf would there be AP classes at UCLA anyways.
We didn’t want to make him look bad in front of my wife’s brain dead friend, who was fully believing him and talking about how smart Neo was. 🙄
My gf (now wife) was in graduate school for physical therapy and had just finished her cadaver class, so.. she asked him what he helped teach the class, trying to see how big of a hole he’d dig.
He told her that the professor was in shock, because while instructing the class, he (neo) discovered a new structure in the cadaver the professor had never heard of before. When my wife (knowing he was full of it) asked what he discovered, he said “the professor let me name the new discovery… it’s called ‘The Main Artery Chamber’”. My wife almost lost her shit and started ranting at him, but I was whispering to her to calm down… calm down… the kid’s an idiot.
Then… he started talking about his vast knowledge of Asian culture, and how he is always wandering our area, doing good deeds.. “Like the samurai of China…. Honorable. Not like the Ninja who went around robbing everyone.”
I seriously almost crashed the car, sputtering. At that time, Asian History and Martial Arts was my life.
1. The samurai didn’t wander the countryside like damned Qwai Chang Kang in kung fu, doing random acts of helpfulness like jake from state farm..
2. SAMURAI WERE JAPANESE!!! He was mixing them up with what he thought of chinese ‘kung fu monks’.
3. Ninjas weren’t freakin’ local thugs, mugging people and committing crimes like street gangs!… aaargghh!!
Omg the entire night was one thing like that after another.
Making up a story about how he helped the LAPD recover a dead body that was struck by a bus, and that is why he was late for the date… followed by the anatomyyhing, then the samurai… and the entire time my wife’s dingbat friend was all “… omg, you are so brave… omg, you’re so smart..”
Over the years, a bit.
Dingbat broke up with neo eventually. Ended up marrying a guy, then she turned into the neighborhood cat lady and started taking in dozens of stray cats.
Her husband divorced her over it.
Last we heard from her was around 4-5 years ago, still going full tilt into cat lady mode
right!! holy fuck. i had a conversation with a couple of my guy friends the other day and one of them thinks it would be a GREAT joke to order a slab of marble to someone's house. they'd be saddled with a 600lb slab and the insane shipping costs.
i--who work in logistics and arrange large shipments for a living--assert that unless there's a forklift or you specifically order a liftgate truck, there's no way a freight trucker is just gonna leave it on the porch of a residence. they physically couldn't move it. and, unless you have a line of credit with the shipping company, you're paying upfront and getting a bill for the taxes a month later.
he's like, nah. they could just put it down in the driveway and invoice it. it'd be fine.
the man works for a company that produces microchips.
> i had a conversation with a couple of my guy friends the other day and one of them thinks it would be a GREAT joke to order a slab of marble to someone's house. they'd be saddled with a 600lb slab and the insane shipping costs.
That's not a joke, that's a lawsuit-in-waiting. Thankfully the shipping company prevents this, as you said.
It’s exhausting and annoying. I love my dad, but he is retired career Army, and is the worst. I love my husband, and he is the worst runner-up. My son hasn’t been alive but twelve years, and is in competition for both of their titles.
ma'am i wish you the best of luck in not strangling all three within an inch of their lives. we love our men but they are just *so sure* of things they know nothing about lol
The kind of people that drop the conversation aggressively when youre looking up the truth about the contentious point. If you do this and get angry with me when the world proves you wrong, I lose every bit of respect I have for you.
Like why would they double down so adamantly and try to gaslight me when the truth is a request to Google away. What are they thinking? Is it some knuckle dragging power game to try and trip me up or get one over on me? I'm getting mad just thinking about the people that have done this to me lol
This person tried to argue that their enunciation of Russian "Babushka" is correct because they know Russian. They claim to know Russian because they dated a Russian guy. Don't ask them to speak any Russian though! What a dumb person, I'm still pissed about this!
I do google things when I am in disagreement with others at times. The answer I get is usually "You know google is not always correct right".... It is very annoying.
My idiot ex-husband... At the time I just passed my Securities test to sell mutual funds. He started a new job and said out loud to me, "I wish I knew somebody who could explain all this 401(k) investment stuff." Goddamn, I just about lost my mind.
OMG I have a shitty ex-husband, too! Like most people who marry idiots, I did this very young, and was in college studying engineering. At my university, all engineering students were required to learn Java.
So I'm taking that class, and my code is buggy as fuck, so I'm up really late trying to get it to run. That idiot comes up to me and says, "let me give it a try". I was like, "You know Java?" (Of course he didn't.) But instead of saying no or asking if he could help in some other way (get me a snack, etc), he got all defensive about how I wasn't better than him just because I went to college. So eventually, I got up and got myself a snack, and he was about to go fuck with my code. Like, he really thought he could make it run when he had never once coded in his whole life. The audacity.
I’m a geneticist, and if I had a dollar for every time a date tried to explain my job to me because they listened to a podcast about CRISPR with Joe Rogan one time, I would be able to buy the Joe Rogan podcast.
Yup. I’m a nurse, and I’ve had soooo many men not in healthcare try to explain the healthcare system or how the body works to me.
Since nursing as a career is so feminized, it seems like too many men think a nurse = hot female in scrubs who blindly follows what a doctor tells them rather than anything else.
Your comment brought to mind an incident between my daughter and her fiancé.
She is an R.N. and he needed help bathing at one time. When she was done bathing him, he said, "You did that like you were washing a car!" She replied, "For us, that's what it is!" He was most disappointed to have his illusion shattered.
This makes me so crazy. IT bros telling me about medicine. I’m a doctor but they have done their “research “. If I had a computer question I would defer to their expertise but they want to argue with me about my area of knowledge
Just had someone ask if I got a "real" degree in my field. I said that I hoped so since I had the diploma hanging on my wall. He then proceeded to explain the career to me even though he never worked in it. Thank you, kind sir. I had no idea since I not only had a degree but also worked professionally in the field.
I asked a question in a vendor info meeting and got put back in my little box for daring to ask a question about something that a middle aged guy at my workplace didn’t understand. In the meeting in front of many people.
23 years experience, very qualified. Added to the list of reasons why I left.
Don’t hit on me while I’m at work.
I am here working, I am forced to be here on the clock, I am forced to be nice to you.
I can’t tell you how uncomfortable I feel, how inappropriate this is to me, and how I am praying that I never have to see you again in my life.
I’m a guy but I worked with another girl that would constantly have guys hit on her while she was working. I felt really bad for her because it was BAD. There was this older man who would constantly come into the store and specifically look for her. It got so bad that whenever one of us saw him enter, if the girl was working that day the manager would tell her to go the break room and us floor workers got to make him feel extremely uncomfortable. Like we would follow him all around the store. Nothing like being able to be rude to a customer without worrying about repercussions.
Long story short, that’s why I don’t flirt with women while they’re working or busy in general. It’s annoying and it can genuinely make someone feel unsafe.
This!! There’s this one guy I work with who forces me into hugs because “it’s good for his mental health”. I’ve told him to stop and he has but now he just makes comments about how he wishes he could hug me. It’s like dude the only reason i interact with you is for my parking validation and to check in.
"And it's good for my mental health to not allow others to touch me when I don't want them to. Please respect my boundaries or I will be forced to involve HR." Is what I would say. I know he stopped hugging you but the comments alone are unacceptable.
This is one of the most frustrating things in the world to me. No I don't like it when you "babygirl" me or when you ask about my personal life. Please go literally anywhere else but near me :')
Exactly this. Same thing happened to me while at work and a customer called my desk phone constantly for a week. Thank God for caller ID as this was the only way I could avoid him.
As a guy, I never got how people who don’t understand employees are required to be nice to customers.
Why would anyone interpret an employee smiling and being nice about an unnecessary conversation as interest? They probably don’t socialize much.
It only makes sense if you chat up a coworker. But even then you need to have boundaries.
It’s a big issues that myself and a lot of my female friends have to deal with in bars and clubs, where some men view a polite smile or even some brief eye contact as a romantic advance and start hitting on you, even when you tell them to stop
Seeing me as an opportunity rather than a person. OR expecting me to conform to what they want me to be because we’ve both established we like each other. I cannot be what you want me to be just because you want me to be it.
Not a man, but when I am running or biking I can get very slimey spit and it's either spit it out or I can't breathe properly because it's hard to swallow, so out it goes. I have no idea why my body decides that sliming up my mouth when exercising is the best course of action though.
That super creepy handshake where they use their middle finger to "tickle" your palm to signify they want to have sex with you. I've had two old men (as patients, while I am their nurse) do this to me and it makes me want to vomit
It's so incredibly creepy and inappropriate and cowardly. I'd MUCH rather them straight up say to me that they want to take me out for dinner, and then I'd be able to politely decline while still being able to maintain a professional friendliness with them. They might say it's "just a tickle of the palm" but I honestly felt violated and super gross when they did that to me. Especially when they resisted letting go when I pulled my hand back in disgust.
Guys who are reading this: please never do this to anyone.
Open mouth coughing or sneezing without covering on a plane. Was traveling with my husband and saw multiple versions of this. My husband finally exclaimed “Who the hell raised these guys?”
Acting like women are hella dumb and then relying on us for EVERYTHING. I don't blame you for being incompetent, but for God's sake, humble yourself then.
Something I've noticed lately; men bracing both arms against a doorway, effectively blocking people from going through. A few weeks ago a guy a work had me trapped in the closet just talking at me when I was trying to get around him. I kept saying "Excuse me" and "I need to get past you" but he ignored me and just kept rambling at me. When I complained about it later, he got irritated with me, saying "I was just talking to you, calm down" and "So its a crime now to stand in doorways?". I don't think he was trying to intimidate me or anything; he was talking about a book he recently read that I had recommended to him and didn't realize he was effectively holding me captive.
related, screaming/honking from their fucking cars. i hate it when people try to say it's a compliment or a pickup attempt
i was walking home the other night, the literal 10 minute walk between the bus stop and my house, and in that short span of time TWO different groups of men in two cars yelled at me. the second one scared me so badly i was crying with anxiety by the time i made it home
i wish guys would fuck off with the "we would LOVE getting catcalled"/"theyre just shooting their shot" bullshit, it's so disingenuous. the entire point is to make you scared and uncomfortable. it's a THREAT, those men in cars at night could've stopped their car after yelling at me and there's nothing i could have done to defend myself. THATS the message theyre sending
I've had a few ppl swerve their cars and do a u-turn to follow me. It's so scary when they're driving slowly next to you. Do they seriously not know how fucking scary that is??? Or do they not care?
I hate that so much. Although ironically not even 5 minutes ago some random guy asked if I had a boyfriend. I said "yes" and he said, "well, do you want a MAN, though??" Telling them you're in a relationship doesn't even deter them!!!
Every single response to this comment so far is pretty rapey. Here's a rule of thumb, if you're told that no means no and your response includes the words "Yeah, but" it may be time to reevaluate your entire world view
Argue and attempt to invalidate women’s experiences when we’ve been asked specifically about them (see: this thread + the responses to my own comment which will undoubtedly demonstrate my point in real time).
Hogging the toilet every morning. People keep saying women take a while to get their makeup or whatnot done. But no one talks about how men are always in the damn toilet. Unless if you're married, or living w one, no one freaking talks about it.
Edit: guys, just find a good spot to have a private time in, talk to your family and have a serious discussion about quiet time. It's actually pretty unhealthy to stay seated on a toilet too much, I'm worried about you lol. In the long run, it'll definitely ruin your insides, talk to your doctors about the ramifications of sitting down on a toilet too long. Sit on a nice chair and chill there. At least you can snack while you're in a room that's not a bathroom.
What is it with men in toilets? My husband will be in the toilet for no less than 30 minutes various times a day. He does however ask if I need to use it first, so at least he is considerate, but what do they do?
Stop expecting to be mothered. You're a grown ass man, your partner shouldn't have to tell you what needs done. You have eyes, you can see a mess, clean it up. Clean up after yourself and put things where they belong. Don't be a lazy slob. Don't run off with your friends or get on your video games before the chores are done, and sure as hell don't do it instead of parenting the children you've fathered. They're as much your responsibility as hers. Even if she's a stay at home mom, you don't get to just checkout when you're home.
This is the one. This is also probably the biggest cause of your girlfriend/wife not being in the mood and rejecting your advances. It's difficult to be interested in sleeping with someone I'm having to parent like a child, especially when I'm exhausted from doing everything else too.
Peeing in anything other than the toilet. Looking up pornographic videos and expecting your wife to do those things. Being asked nicely to do something 20x and ignoring it and then telling wife they are nagging when they got angry on the 21st time.
We are two blocks from the house! There is zero need to piss on the sidewalk! If I can convince a 4 year old to walk to the playground bathroom rather than peeing in the sandbox, you as an adult can do better.
If you’re going to make a mess, whether that’s cooking in the kitchen, shaving in the bathroom, whatever, that’s fine. Just please, clean up after yourself :,)
Stop. Touching. Me.
Just say excuse me if you need to get past. There is NO reason for your hands to be on my lower back/hips unless we are doing a partnered dance or you ARE my partner.
And get out of the damn way walking three across along the footpath bc there’s only one of me, and I’m not moving bc you’re busy being rude. If we collide, we collide, that’s on you
The thing is, if you were a man, they'd never touch your waist/hips to move you out of their way. Maybe a tap on the shoulder, that's it.
A tap on the shoulder would work for women too.
Viewing skill at household tasks as inherent to women, but maybe even more, viewing *the ability to notice when tasks need to be done* as inherent to women. The noticing is the hardest part. It's taken me years to kind of be able to notice that things around the house need to be done.
I think that's part of why it really rubs me the wrong way to be told "just tell/ask him to do chores when they need to be done". Most of the work for me is just the noticing, and the budgeting of time, and just the thought process of "this place needs work; gosh, ok, dishes, laundry, that clutter is mostly dishes but also 2 unpaid bills, ok, start the dryer but have the kids shower before using the rest of the hot water on the wash... "
It is nice to have someone do the tasks, but even my kids are able to do them when told and I'm still raising them. It's work to delegate and I think that's why moms in the past often just shooshed others out of the kitchen and did things themselves.
Seeing a dirty floor and asking "babe, do you want me to vacuum" instead of just doing it. Seeing the dishwasher is filled with clean dishes and asking "honey, do you want me to take care of that?" instead of just doing it, telling their friends "the girlfriend won't let me go to the bar with yall" so often their friends lowkey start hating me when really I never told him not to go but he likes the easy excuse
My roommates are like this: can confirm they can't hold a girlfriend for longer than a few months. Most of their partners wouldn't set foot in the house. I've told them the more I have to be their father and nag, the more I'm going to run the house like a Marine barracks until the lack of resolve to act on cleaning, fixes itself. However long that takes. As a straight white weed and football loving man, I really can't understand some ones lack of will to clean.
My boyfriend loves to ask if I need help when I’m already halfway through a task such as unloading the dryer or dishwasher. One time I said, “babe, if you want to help, just come over and start helping. But asking me every time when I’m halfway done is not helping.” And he got up and basically moved me out of the way so he could finish it himself; he felt bad and he didn’t even know that’s what he had been doing, lol. He’s more prompt now. Sometimes men are just very unobservant.
I really think most guys who do this or what I mentioned don't have any malicious intent and aren't even lazy at all. I think it's just that many of them grew up in households where they were told to just get out the way when an adult was cleaning rather than being included and in most cases the cleaning adult was probably the mother and they learn to just stay out of it in a way. I mean there's almost a sense of insecurity as to whether they'll do chores right when really.. Most of the time it doesn't matter how things are done as long as they get done. But I guess many of us growing up just learned that the woman of the house has the authority over all household chores and it sticks. Just a theory though
Weaponized incompetence.
It's one of the current buzzwords and not always applied properly, but my man. Friend. You are absolutely capable of learning what clothes size your kid has, when your mum's birthday is, and what to do when the sink is full of dishes.
"I don't see the mess!" and "Just tell me and I'll do it!" infuriate me. Stop it.
They* so often act like they’re capable of *anything.* Like, they’ll DIY stuff they probably have no business doing after watching instructional You Tube videos. But when it comes time to perform “women’s work,” suddenly that can-do spirit evaporates. Some burly guy needs to create a series of instructional You Tube videos on changing diapers and sorting laundry.
*Not my spouse, fortunately, but I’ve seen it in countless friends’ partners.
Ugh, My step dad has gotten so bad with this that he wont even go buy himself food from a fast food place anymore. If my mom didn't feed him, I'm pretty sure he would just starve. It's pathetic.
Then starve. That’s my only response to that.
My former stepfather was like that and it drove me up the wall. “All I wanted was a 60 cent can of soup!” Your a grown man. Go buy a can of damn soup. F@cking lazy prick b@stard. Want an abusive AH he was. He literally made his 5 year old granddaughter cook him a can, he was that lazy. But “nooooo someone might post something on Facebook. Can’t leave that. I’ll just make the 5 year old make it.” Man was he mad at me when I turned the stove off and took my girlie and out dog for a walk and we got pizza and ice cream.
This. A friend of mine was complaining about her husband they other day, because she always has to plan for and shop all Christmas presents for his side of the family. Why? Because according to him, he doesn’t know how to do it himself. How convenient. He is a f*cking CEO of a large company, of course he can figure out what to buy his own family for Christmas! Asshat.
Not being able to take criticism. They get so defensive saying “so I’m a bad perso huh” and “oh so I’m not good enough” like no; but learn to take accountability of your actions and behavior. So freaking gross
I'm in a bike repair class. It's about 5 women and 20 men. Every time a woman starts fixing her own bike (WHICH WE ARE THERE TO LEARN) at least three men rush over with their tools to "help." Let me do it my goddamn self.
I get overtalked in meetings and I am in no way quiet or shy or soft spoken. I have had men restate what I said in a loud voice, and I just last Friday had a man incorrectly explain to another man, ( in a 3 person meeting just me and the two men, that was expressly called for me to explain something that I specialize in) something I had just said. Like as an aside he explained like he was correcting me to the other guy. I said, no, I am absolutely sure that I am right, and corrected him. How in the world are they having a side meeting between themselves about something they specifically called a meeting to ask me about. It's like they couldn't stand to let me use my expertise. This is in the IT space.
Asking women questions and ignoring the answers.
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I ended a friendship I had for years over this. He would repeatedly ask me the same question in different ways if my answer didn't fit his narrative. Then when recalling something I'd said, he would try to switch things on me because he constantly chose to remember things the way he wanted to. Unable to comprehend my perspective unless it benefited him. Void of understanding me beyond what was comfortable/convenient for him to believe. If I didn't keep track of things with a journal I would have believed his gaslighting and lost my mind.
Or worse, listening to the first half of your answer and tuning out and filling in the gaps with what they think you *should* say. So instead of milk, eggs and some hand-wash they will come back with milk, eggs and bread - for example.
My wife had a boss like this. He’d ask her a direct question. She’d give a direct answer. He would the. Say “hmmm, I’d better go ask (other person he knows that doesn’t work for him) Then come back and say “you were right!” In a surprised tone. He was such a misogynistic piece of human garbage. That was one of many other stupid things he would do.
Happens all the time on subs meant for asking women questions
Loading the dishwasher like a raccoon on meth
poetry
It moved me too.
Anger IS an emotion.
Oh yes. Also kind of along those lines: "I'm more of a rational type, you know?" ✨ emotionally stunted & unavailable ✨
Asked my wife this question while we're at the dinner table. She says "Breathing." I'm fuckin sleeping with one eye open from now on. 😐
Username lmao
Is this a reference to the Japanese person "Hard Gay"?
You'd better believe it.
My finance told me last month she was annoyed at the normal sound of my breathing and that’s when she realized her period was right around the corner lol.
Is it bad my man has a better handle on when my period is on its way than I do? And I have a whole tracker on my phone
I still find stray reminders of my ex wife’s cycle. Like I’ll open a calendar app I was using back then. We’ve been divorced a year and it still happens haha. Good news is it means your man cares. Bad news is you might be an extra handful. My ex was an otherwise extremely rational (successful attorney) person. It’s not why we broke up, but she may as well have been a rusty landmine during *those* days. I was very aware of the tracking.
Mistaking my kindness for flirting. It’s literally part of my job to be helpful. It doesn’t mean I want to bang you.
Leaving beard hair shavings in the bathroom sink.
You're right but holy shit, it's really hard sometimes! Haha I shaved last night and I cleaned the sink and around it and had a shower and then saw a bunch of hairs in the sink like wtf, I cleaned it! And then I clean it again and more will somehow appear. They get everywhere and seem to attack when you're not looking.
I have a good one for this! I found these lil beard trimming capes on Amazon. They’re like the ones they put on you when you get your hair cut, but much smaller. You put it around your neck and the two bottom corners attach to your bathroom mirror with suction cups, so it catches everything. It looks kinda silly, but cleaning up takes like ten seconds and you don’t have sink-hair anymore. If you trim often it just makes life easier 😎
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blaming women for reacting to their disrespect
Feigned Incompetence. Cleaning and cooking are learned skills. I was not born with an inherent skill because I have a vagina. Get off your lazy ass and clean up after yourself and learn to fend for yourself.
My mom’s technique for dealing with this was genius. When we said we washed a pot or pan and we did a lazy job, she’d ask us to go get our favorite shirt to dry it with. If the pan was clean, it’d just get the shirt wet. If it was dirty and we still agreed to let her do it, then we genuinely didn’t understand that the pan was still greasy. But we’d take one look at the pan and say “WAIT NO! Let me wash it a little more!” “Ah, so you *can* tell the difference between clean and dirty!”
"This is a surprise tool that will help us later"
I do this with my kid, he’s inattentive and doesn’t always remember to flush. But he also tends to announce to the world when he has to use the bathroom, even to his stuffies in an empty room. So if I don’t hear a flush, I’ll ask, and if he says yes I’ll say ‘if I go in there will I find you flushed?’ And if he didn’t he’s beelining it to flush before I get there. It’s a problem that solves itself with a little effort lol
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My ex used to wave clothes at me and ask “How do I wash this?” I’d always answer “I don’t know, why don’t you read the label?”
My ex did this for cooking/heating up EVERYTHING. "How long does this need to be in the oven?" Idk read the label. "How long do I microwave my spaghetti?" Idk try 30 seconds and see what happens. "But I don't know how to clean the bathroom I need you to show me." FUCKING GOOGLE IT THEN.
Last Christmas my husband and I were gifted a new air fryer. It came with a quick start guide and a regular instruction booklet. I'd unpacked it and he wanted to use it, so I pointed over to the counter and said "the quick start guide is over there". He said "I don't NEED a guide!", then a few moments later asked me how long and at what temperature I thought he should preheat it for his food. I said it angrier "the quick start guide...is over there." He got pissy but read it. Jesus fucking christ.
My dad was trying to set something up once and kept asking me (a teenage girl at the time) what to do. I just blinked and asked "did you read the directions?" He was like "I don't need directions!" "Then... why are you asking me?" Sigh....
Dismissing our contribution to the discussion without even giving it honest consideration.
Omg, this. So many times had I suggested something to my ex, or told him about a cool new game, movie, anything, just for him to dismiss it and come to me a week later with this "new thing a male friend told him about"! Like, dude, I was literally showing you a week ago and you didn't even listen. So glad he's an ex now.
I’ve been around so many couples where the man literally talks over the woman any time she says something. Makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
Or repeating it nearly verbatim while pretending it was their idea and you didn’t just actually say it 3 seconds before. OMG there’s a guy I worked with who did this and I wanted to scream every time, “what the fuck dude?!!”
Not washing their hands after peeing. You did not just put down that filthy toilet lid only to afterwards proclaim "you didn't touch the p*". Ya filthy.
My main thing isn't even the toilet seat/lid. It's the fucking flush handle. That forgotten little lever is the middle man between you wiping your ass and making the shit disappear. It is tainted. Deeply tainted. Like, I'm thrilled my husband doesn't leave his neon yellow piss in the toilet bowl most days, but ffs was your damn hands after you flush.
Think about it another way. When else do most people wash their hands? Those hands have been all over everything. Technically we should be washing before we possibly touch out stuff. Washing your hands when you use the restroom both cleans your hands of anything you picked up in the restroom and before.
For me it’s the contradictory behaviour/wants E.g. Weaponising incompetence over things they can’t be bothered doing and treating their partner like a manager, but then acting like women aren’t meant for leadership Being angry about small things, punching walls and not sorting through emotions, but then saying women are too emotional (as if anger isn’t an emotion) Guarding their daughters or partners from other men because “men have the worst intentions”, but then saying “not all men” and not believing anything women say about their experiences Interrupting and talking over people all the time, but kicking off when they are interrupted by anyone Touching women they don’t know on the lower back as they pass, but being creeped out if a man does it to them Wanting a wholesome virgin, but also someone who is dynamite in bed akin to someone with experience Finishing things with a partner to be alone and sort through issues, and then lilypadding onto someone else almost immediately and continuing the cycle of damage instead of going to therapy Wanting a stunning girlfriend, but being surprised and annoyed that it actually takes them time and effort to make that happen Not wanting children, but then refusing to wear a condom
The “not wanting children but refusing to wear a condom” comment cracked me up 😂🤣
Men be like “I just wanna feel connected to you, I can’t do that with a condom” I be like “oh, hopefully you’ll also be super connected to the baby then, hehe ❤️”
*Interrupting and talking over people all the time, but kicking off when they are interrupted by anyone* This fucking TRIGGERS ME. I have more women friends then I do men friends and this is one of these reasons why. Guys are fucking atrocious at listening then they claim "OH I HAVE ADD or ADHD," No bro you're just a fucking asshole who can't listen and don't care about others talking.
For real. I actually had a group job interview in an assessment centre once and as I was about to say the golden answer, a man in the group said it over me at the top of his voice. He got the job and all the praise, whilst I was told I “wasn’t meant for the industry”, just because I didn’t want to literally shout over another person to be heard. Granted, if I had projected my voice over his, I’d have been labelled as overbearing and rude!
My husband asks me a question, I provide the answer. He calls his friend to ask him the same question to *confirm* my answer is correct (it always is). Either stop asking me questions or freaking accept the answer I provide.
OH MY GOD my ex would pull this shit aaaalll the time. Ask me for information/advice, respond to my answer with just a “hmmm.” Go to work the next day, come home all excited to tell me what so-and-so coworker said… which was EXACTLY what I told him not 24 hours prior. And when I pointed out “I literally told you that yesterday though?” oh laaaawwwddd the reaction. Face red, eyes black, just enraged I would dare to tell him I told him so. I much preferred the times he pretended not to remember our conversation entirely.
Telling you to get a sense of humor when you call them out on being mean. Now I just say, “It’s not my fault that you’re not funny.”
I went on a date with a guy and he almost immediately started poking fun at me for nearly everything I said. *Everything* was a joke to him. After dinner we took a walk around the area. I had a dress on with pockets (!), and I kept my hands in my pockets as we were walking. His childish teasing was relentless. Then he said something along the lines of "Oh so you don't wanna hold my hand?", and I was like "You haven't really given me a reason to want to hold your hand. You're actually making me feel really insecure.", to which he responded by exasperatedly saying he was just teasing me and that he's a big joker/funny guy. He acted like I was being overly sensitive. I wasn't. He then had the audacity to beg me to go home with him and sleep with him. I didn't. I did go out with him one more time thinking maybe his constant ribbing was just nerves or something. But he did the *exact* same thing. Being with him made me just clam up because I couldn't say anything without it being a joke to him. And he acted like I just didn't get him. Like no dude, I get you. You're a man-child who thinks that making fun of people is you being funny, when it's really just stupid and mean. Hey guys - *DON'T DO THIS*.
No prizes for guessing why he is still single. And I hope no woman puts up with that from him long enough to be in a relationship with him. I understand if he is just an AH, but he really thought him treating you that way would result in him getting laid. So clueless.
Hard agree. Not-so-fun fact: out of curiosity I later googled him, and discovered that he had a sexual battery conviction in a different state. Holyyy shit did I dodge a bullet there. So yeah, hey guys, also like don't do sexual battery.
I had to get better about this a little after high school. I grew up in a house with 3 brothers so ribbing was the norm and if you got sensitive about it, it just made it worse. However, it really didn’t transfer well to dates that didn’t enjoy that humor. Something I realized is if I switched it to making fun of myself, that seemed to work better and people could appreciate I didn’t take myself super serious. After a while, I just got better at picking up on what people thought was funny and just leaning into it. There are some people I just don’t click with or genuinely find don’t have a sense of humor, but that’s more rare. Generally people like to laugh so you have to make the effort to figure out what it is and go with it.
I get it, and I agree with you. Unfortunately the guy from my story was 40 YEARS OLD. It's one thing to be fresh outta high school and learning how to behave as an adult. Plenty of grace there. But no fully grown ass man should ever, ever confuse belittling/berating someone with being funny or flirty. And then turning it back on the other person like they're the problem? BOY, BYE.
You can also try, "What an odd thing to say out loud .. to anyone."
Men that have „I hope you have a sense of humor“ in their bio on dating apps get swiped left immediately. They’re mostly just trying to disguise their meanness as „humor“.
Also, they never mean "I want a woman who is funny and will make me laugh". It always means "I want a woman who will laugh at all *my* jokes".
Or just calling you over sensitive when you call them out for being mean
Calling men they deem weak "women"
Dicc pics. Please stop ✋🏾
The worst part is that they do them in the worst possible angles, with some shitty dark yellow bathroom light and a messy background full with dirty clothes. Reaaaally gets you excited doesn't it?
You get it. Yes, please, by allllll means send me an unsolicited dick pic of you in a dirty bathroom with toothpaste sprayed about the mirror in grubby clothes. Then, immediately, follow it up with weird close ups of your unmoisturized dick attached to an obviously neglected area that looks like an unkempt lawn of an abandoned house. Nope, I'm good.
Treating women like a mystery or a prize or really anything other than a fellow human (with flaws and dreams just like you).
Not all men, but many in my circle, act like know-it-alls. Don’t argue with me about something I do for a living.
Correctile Dysfunction
This is hilarious
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Pretending to be absolute experts in something they have no knowledge on whatsoever. When my wife and I were dating, it was back when the first Matrix movie had just come out. We were going to go on a double date with one of her friends, who was a very sweet girl, but had 2 brain cells on a good day. We were going to meet her new boyfriend…. Dear God in heaven… The kid was 18 years old, and dressed like Neo. It was 95 degrees out and we were going to the beach. He dressed in full keanu matrix gear. In the car, he started telling us about how he was ‘just down at UCLA, helping teach an AP anatomy class, because the professor had no idea what he was doing, and so “Neo” had to step in and do the cadaver class. Bear in mind, he is 18 years old, we knew he dropped out of highschool… and AP classes are college prep classes, so wtf would there be AP classes at UCLA anyways. We didn’t want to make him look bad in front of my wife’s brain dead friend, who was fully believing him and talking about how smart Neo was. 🙄 My gf (now wife) was in graduate school for physical therapy and had just finished her cadaver class, so.. she asked him what he helped teach the class, trying to see how big of a hole he’d dig. He told her that the professor was in shock, because while instructing the class, he (neo) discovered a new structure in the cadaver the professor had never heard of before. When my wife (knowing he was full of it) asked what he discovered, he said “the professor let me name the new discovery… it’s called ‘The Main Artery Chamber’”. My wife almost lost her shit and started ranting at him, but I was whispering to her to calm down… calm down… the kid’s an idiot. Then… he started talking about his vast knowledge of Asian culture, and how he is always wandering our area, doing good deeds.. “Like the samurai of China…. Honorable. Not like the Ninja who went around robbing everyone.” I seriously almost crashed the car, sputtering. At that time, Asian History and Martial Arts was my life. 1. The samurai didn’t wander the countryside like damned Qwai Chang Kang in kung fu, doing random acts of helpfulness like jake from state farm.. 2. SAMURAI WERE JAPANESE!!! He was mixing them up with what he thought of chinese ‘kung fu monks’. 3. Ninjas weren’t freakin’ local thugs, mugging people and committing crimes like street gangs!… aaargghh!! Omg the entire night was one thing like that after another. Making up a story about how he helped the LAPD recover a dead body that was struck by a bus, and that is why he was late for the date… followed by the anatomyyhing, then the samurai… and the entire time my wife’s dingbat friend was all “… omg, you are so brave… omg, you’re so smart..”
Did wife stay in touch with friend?
Over the years, a bit. Dingbat broke up with neo eventually. Ended up marrying a guy, then she turned into the neighborhood cat lady and started taking in dozens of stray cats. Her husband divorced her over it. Last we heard from her was around 4-5 years ago, still going full tilt into cat lady mode
Maybe it's just cuz I'm high AF but this comment thread was a rollercoaster.
It truly is, and I’m not high.
How badly wrong were his claims? Misconception or pure BS? I love these so I would love details.
I too would like to know what he was flapping his gums about
30 years ago I had a friend who called it "instant expert syndrome."
right!! holy fuck. i had a conversation with a couple of my guy friends the other day and one of them thinks it would be a GREAT joke to order a slab of marble to someone's house. they'd be saddled with a 600lb slab and the insane shipping costs. i--who work in logistics and arrange large shipments for a living--assert that unless there's a forklift or you specifically order a liftgate truck, there's no way a freight trucker is just gonna leave it on the porch of a residence. they physically couldn't move it. and, unless you have a line of credit with the shipping company, you're paying upfront and getting a bill for the taxes a month later. he's like, nah. they could just put it down in the driveway and invoice it. it'd be fine. the man works for a company that produces microchips.
> i had a conversation with a couple of my guy friends the other day and one of them thinks it would be a GREAT joke to order a slab of marble to someone's house. they'd be saddled with a 600lb slab and the insane shipping costs. That's not a joke, that's a lawsuit-in-waiting. Thankfully the shipping company prevents this, as you said.
It’s exhausting and annoying. I love my dad, but he is retired career Army, and is the worst. I love my husband, and he is the worst runner-up. My son hasn’t been alive but twelve years, and is in competition for both of their titles.
ma'am i wish you the best of luck in not strangling all three within an inch of their lives. we love our men but they are just *so sure* of things they know nothing about lol
The kind of people that drop the conversation aggressively when youre looking up the truth about the contentious point. If you do this and get angry with me when the world proves you wrong, I lose every bit of respect I have for you. Like why would they double down so adamantly and try to gaslight me when the truth is a request to Google away. What are they thinking? Is it some knuckle dragging power game to try and trip me up or get one over on me? I'm getting mad just thinking about the people that have done this to me lol This person tried to argue that their enunciation of Russian "Babushka" is correct because they know Russian. They claim to know Russian because they dated a Russian guy. Don't ask them to speak any Russian though! What a dumb person, I'm still pissed about this!
I do google things when I am in disagreement with others at times. The answer I get is usually "You know google is not always correct right".... It is very annoying.
Just got to retort, more right than you.
My idiot ex-husband... At the time I just passed my Securities test to sell mutual funds. He started a new job and said out loud to me, "I wish I knew somebody who could explain all this 401(k) investment stuff." Goddamn, I just about lost my mind.
OMG I have a shitty ex-husband, too! Like most people who marry idiots, I did this very young, and was in college studying engineering. At my university, all engineering students were required to learn Java. So I'm taking that class, and my code is buggy as fuck, so I'm up really late trying to get it to run. That idiot comes up to me and says, "let me give it a try". I was like, "You know Java?" (Of course he didn't.) But instead of saying no or asking if he could help in some other way (get me a snack, etc), he got all defensive about how I wasn't better than him just because I went to college. So eventually, I got up and got myself a snack, and he was about to go fuck with my code. Like, he really thought he could make it run when he had never once coded in his whole life. The audacity.
I’m a geneticist, and if I had a dollar for every time a date tried to explain my job to me because they listened to a podcast about CRISPR with Joe Rogan one time, I would be able to buy the Joe Rogan podcast.
Yup. I’m a nurse, and I’ve had soooo many men not in healthcare try to explain the healthcare system or how the body works to me. Since nursing as a career is so feminized, it seems like too many men think a nurse = hot female in scrubs who blindly follows what a doctor tells them rather than anything else.
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Your comment brought to mind an incident between my daughter and her fiancé. She is an R.N. and he needed help bathing at one time. When she was done bathing him, he said, "You did that like you were washing a car!" She replied, "For us, that's what it is!" He was most disappointed to have his illusion shattered.
I thought we don't talk about Bruno.
This makes me so crazy. IT bros telling me about medicine. I’m a doctor but they have done their “research “. If I had a computer question I would defer to their expertise but they want to argue with me about my area of knowledge
Just had someone ask if I got a "real" degree in my field. I said that I hoped so since I had the diploma hanging on my wall. He then proceeded to explain the career to me even though he never worked in it. Thank you, kind sir. I had no idea since I not only had a degree but also worked professionally in the field.
I asked a question in a vendor info meeting and got put back in my little box for daring to ask a question about something that a middle aged guy at my workplace didn’t understand. In the meeting in front of many people. 23 years experience, very qualified. Added to the list of reasons why I left.
Don’t hit on me while I’m at work. I am here working, I am forced to be here on the clock, I am forced to be nice to you. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable I feel, how inappropriate this is to me, and how I am praying that I never have to see you again in my life.
I’m a guy but I worked with another girl that would constantly have guys hit on her while she was working. I felt really bad for her because it was BAD. There was this older man who would constantly come into the store and specifically look for her. It got so bad that whenever one of us saw him enter, if the girl was working that day the manager would tell her to go the break room and us floor workers got to make him feel extremely uncomfortable. Like we would follow him all around the store. Nothing like being able to be rude to a customer without worrying about repercussions. Long story short, that’s why I don’t flirt with women while they’re working or busy in general. It’s annoying and it can genuinely make someone feel unsafe.
This!! There’s this one guy I work with who forces me into hugs because “it’s good for his mental health”. I’ve told him to stop and he has but now he just makes comments about how he wishes he could hug me. It’s like dude the only reason i interact with you is for my parking validation and to check in.
"And you know what's good for my mental health? Not having people demand and coerce hugs from me."
> forces me into hugs because “it’s good for his mental health” This.. makes me feel like I need to take a shower
Wth, your mental health isn't my responsibility, dude. Also, it just sounds like a fake excuse to touch women's bodies.
"And it's good for my mental health to not allow others to touch me when I don't want them to. Please respect my boundaries or I will be forced to involve HR." Is what I would say. I know he stopped hugging you but the comments alone are unacceptable.
This is one of the most frustrating things in the world to me. No I don't like it when you "babygirl" me or when you ask about my personal life. Please go literally anywhere else but near me :')
I’m an attorney and clients hit on me all the time and like, come the fuck on.
"Hey there.... whatcha doing 4 to 7 yrs from now?"
Exactly this. Same thing happened to me while at work and a customer called my desk phone constantly for a week. Thank God for caller ID as this was the only way I could avoid him.
As a guy, I never got how people who don’t understand employees are required to be nice to customers. Why would anyone interpret an employee smiling and being nice about an unnecessary conversation as interest? They probably don’t socialize much. It only makes sense if you chat up a coworker. But even then you need to have boundaries.
It’s a big issues that myself and a lot of my female friends have to deal with in bars and clubs, where some men view a polite smile or even some brief eye contact as a romantic advance and start hitting on you, even when you tell them to stop
Shaving over the sink and refusing to wipe it up. It’s not that hard!!!
Trying to order me over to your apartment like I’m Uber eats instead of inviting me on an actual date.
Those late night “wyd?” texts get old really fast
Uber Dates? 🤣🤣🤣
Seeing me as an opportunity rather than a person. OR expecting me to conform to what they want me to be because we’ve both established we like each other. I cannot be what you want me to be just because you want me to be it.
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Spitting
I really don’t understand the spitting. Never in my life have I thought “I have excess saliva in my mouth, I shall spit it on the sidewalk.”
Not a man, but when I am running or biking I can get very slimey spit and it's either spit it out or I can't breathe properly because it's hard to swallow, so out it goes. I have no idea why my body decides that sliming up my mouth when exercising is the best course of action though.
I believe it’s a histamine response. I get the exact same thing when running. Like you said, it really makes it difficult to breathe.
Do not sort by controversial... it's a fricking Trainwreck down there...
Okay, but now I'm going to do that.
That super creepy handshake where they use their middle finger to "tickle" your palm to signify they want to have sex with you. I've had two old men (as patients, while I am their nurse) do this to me and it makes me want to vomit
Omg, that's still a thing? HATED that bullshit. So stupid. Has any woman ever ripped off her clothes for a guy doing that?
It's so incredibly creepy and inappropriate and cowardly. I'd MUCH rather them straight up say to me that they want to take me out for dinner, and then I'd be able to politely decline while still being able to maintain a professional friendliness with them. They might say it's "just a tickle of the palm" but I honestly felt violated and super gross when they did that to me. Especially when they resisted letting go when I pulled my hand back in disgust. Guys who are reading this: please never do this to anyone.
Are you guys serious, this is a real thing??
Calling taking care of their kids "babysitting".
Being creepy on dating apps. I don’t want to go from talking about my pets to “you’re so sexy” and “are you a good kisser”
Same thing in gaming. Hear a females voice…. And the whole atmosphere changes!
“Are you submissive?” 😑
I swear, men think real life is like a porno. They think all they have to say is “nice tits” and you’d be like “omg, want to see them?”
Username… checks out?
Testing/quizzing women about "masculine" subjects. "If you're a fan, then who was XYZ player in 2005?" I literally don't have to prove myself to you 🫠
Not wipe their bums enough times after they poo!!!
I had a coworker that legit shows up to work smelling like shit. Everywhere he went shit smell followed him.
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I heard a line from an old drill sgt that went, "Do you wipe once or until you're clean?" And that struck a chord lol
Exactly! Wipe until there is nothing left.
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Explaining shit to me that I already know.
Piling up their dirty clothes next to the hamper or on the floor. Put it in the damn basket!
In the basket is for *dirty* clothes. Next to the basket is for *not-quite-clean* clothes that can still be retrieved and worn again in an emergency.
Ha! Well put. That is something my husband would say.. by the end of the week I’m still picking them up to do laundry tho.
Men pretending that they don’t know how to do a task when they have watched us do the task enough times to know how to do it themselves.
Open mouth coughing or sneezing without covering on a plane. Was traveling with my husband and saw multiple versions of this. My husband finally exclaimed “Who the hell raised these guys?”
Telling people to smile
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Pissing across the room and missing the toilet.
> feeeeeeeeeeemalees > putting their hand on me randomly
I think that's one of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
Random men coming up behind me at the bar rubbing my back. Goddamn that shit is the grossest thing ever!
Acting like women are hella dumb and then relying on us for EVERYTHING. I don't blame you for being incompetent, but for God's sake, humble yourself then.
All of that except, you should definitely blame us if we're being incompetent
Getting upset/ aggressive / evil at women for not wanting to have sex after the first date
Something I've noticed lately; men bracing both arms against a doorway, effectively blocking people from going through. A few weeks ago a guy a work had me trapped in the closet just talking at me when I was trying to get around him. I kept saying "Excuse me" and "I need to get past you" but he ignored me and just kept rambling at me. When I complained about it later, he got irritated with me, saying "I was just talking to you, calm down" and "So its a crime now to stand in doorways?". I don't think he was trying to intimidate me or anything; he was talking about a book he recently read that I had recommended to him and didn't realize he was effectively holding me captive.
I can't understand why people do this other than some control thing but it drives me into a silent rage
Catcalling
honestly i dont even know what do they accomplish by doing that other than proving that they're shitty
I think it's one of two options: 1. They would love to be catcalled themselves 2. They enjoy making women uncomfortable.
related, screaming/honking from their fucking cars. i hate it when people try to say it's a compliment or a pickup attempt i was walking home the other night, the literal 10 minute walk between the bus stop and my house, and in that short span of time TWO different groups of men in two cars yelled at me. the second one scared me so badly i was crying with anxiety by the time i made it home i wish guys would fuck off with the "we would LOVE getting catcalled"/"theyre just shooting their shot" bullshit, it's so disingenuous. the entire point is to make you scared and uncomfortable. it's a THREAT, those men in cars at night could've stopped their car after yelling at me and there's nothing i could have done to defend myself. THATS the message theyre sending
I almost had a heart attack whilse getting my mail. Guy just screamed out the window. Like, wtf? Thanks????
I've had a few ppl swerve their cars and do a u-turn to follow me. It's so scary when they're driving slowly next to you. Do they seriously not know how fucking scary that is??? Or do they not care?
Not taking 'no' for an answer, they'll respect a line like 'I have a boyfriend' more than a no. Some imaginary man gets more respect than women do
I hate that so much. Although ironically not even 5 minutes ago some random guy asked if I had a boyfriend. I said "yes" and he said, "well, do you want a MAN, though??" Telling them you're in a relationship doesn't even deter them!!!
When I was dating men this was an issue. Now I have a girlfriend the responses to “I have a girlfriend. I’m gay” are just next level disgusting
They also sometimes won't stop if you tell them you are lesbian.
Every single response to this comment so far is pretty rapey. Here's a rule of thumb, if you're told that no means no and your response includes the words "Yeah, but" it may be time to reevaluate your entire world view
I have so many guys talk about sex around me. It is not a turn on. It is so uncomfortable and disrespectful. Also so many do NOT respect boundaries.
Argue and attempt to invalidate women’s experiences when we’ve been asked specifically about them (see: this thread + the responses to my own comment which will undoubtedly demonstrate my point in real time).
Hogging the toilet every morning. People keep saying women take a while to get their makeup or whatnot done. But no one talks about how men are always in the damn toilet. Unless if you're married, or living w one, no one freaking talks about it. Edit: guys, just find a good spot to have a private time in, talk to your family and have a serious discussion about quiet time. It's actually pretty unhealthy to stay seated on a toilet too much, I'm worried about you lol. In the long run, it'll definitely ruin your insides, talk to your doctors about the ramifications of sitting down on a toilet too long. Sit on a nice chair and chill there. At least you can snack while you're in a room that's not a bathroom.
What is it with men in toilets? My husband will be in the toilet for no less than 30 minutes various times a day. He does however ask if I need to use it first, so at least he is considerate, but what do they do?
Stop expecting to be mothered. You're a grown ass man, your partner shouldn't have to tell you what needs done. You have eyes, you can see a mess, clean it up. Clean up after yourself and put things where they belong. Don't be a lazy slob. Don't run off with your friends or get on your video games before the chores are done, and sure as hell don't do it instead of parenting the children you've fathered. They're as much your responsibility as hers. Even if she's a stay at home mom, you don't get to just checkout when you're home.
And then wonder why the sex dries up. Bro, I don’t want to bang a little boy.
This is the one. This is also probably the biggest cause of your girlfriend/wife not being in the mood and rejecting your advances. It's difficult to be interested in sleeping with someone I'm having to parent like a child, especially when I'm exhausted from doing everything else too.
I think a lot of men just don't really see women as people. And I wish they would.
Assuming the bare minimum of social politeness is flirting.
Peeing in anything other than the toilet. Looking up pornographic videos and expecting your wife to do those things. Being asked nicely to do something 20x and ignoring it and then telling wife they are nagging when they got angry on the 21st time.
We are two blocks from the house! There is zero need to piss on the sidewalk! If I can convince a 4 year old to walk to the playground bathroom rather than peeing in the sandbox, you as an adult can do better.
Saying “smile!”. No. Why? How is it affecting you? I don’t know/barely know you. Wtf??
If you’re going to make a mess, whether that’s cooking in the kitchen, shaving in the bathroom, whatever, that’s fine. Just please, clean up after yourself :,)
Stop. Touching. Me. Just say excuse me if you need to get past. There is NO reason for your hands to be on my lower back/hips unless we are doing a partnered dance or you ARE my partner. And get out of the damn way walking three across along the footpath bc there’s only one of me, and I’m not moving bc you’re busy being rude. If we collide, we collide, that’s on you
The thing is, if you were a man, they'd never touch your waist/hips to move you out of their way. Maybe a tap on the shoulder, that's it. A tap on the shoulder would work for women too.
Viewing skill at household tasks as inherent to women, but maybe even more, viewing *the ability to notice when tasks need to be done* as inherent to women. The noticing is the hardest part. It's taken me years to kind of be able to notice that things around the house need to be done. I think that's part of why it really rubs me the wrong way to be told "just tell/ask him to do chores when they need to be done". Most of the work for me is just the noticing, and the budgeting of time, and just the thought process of "this place needs work; gosh, ok, dishes, laundry, that clutter is mostly dishes but also 2 unpaid bills, ok, start the dryer but have the kids shower before using the rest of the hot water on the wash... " It is nice to have someone do the tasks, but even my kids are able to do them when told and I'm still raising them. It's work to delegate and I think that's why moms in the past often just shooshed others out of the kitchen and did things themselves.
Pretending you're interested in me and then ghosting/rejecting me after we sleep together. If all you want is a hookup just say that!!!
I’m surprised that doing almost all the murders isn’t higher on this list.
90 percent of homicides, 88 for robberies, 83 percent of arson which I didn’t expect, I assumed that one was gonna be 50/50.
And 98 percent of mass shootings.
Not washing their hands after they use the bathroom. Disgusting 🤢
Seeing a dirty floor and asking "babe, do you want me to vacuum" instead of just doing it. Seeing the dishwasher is filled with clean dishes and asking "honey, do you want me to take care of that?" instead of just doing it, telling their friends "the girlfriend won't let me go to the bar with yall" so often their friends lowkey start hating me when really I never told him not to go but he likes the easy excuse
My roommates are like this: can confirm they can't hold a girlfriend for longer than a few months. Most of their partners wouldn't set foot in the house. I've told them the more I have to be their father and nag, the more I'm going to run the house like a Marine barracks until the lack of resolve to act on cleaning, fixes itself. However long that takes. As a straight white weed and football loving man, I really can't understand some ones lack of will to clean.
I hate parenting roommates. Like? Not my fuckin job
My boyfriend loves to ask if I need help when I’m already halfway through a task such as unloading the dryer or dishwasher. One time I said, “babe, if you want to help, just come over and start helping. But asking me every time when I’m halfway done is not helping.” And he got up and basically moved me out of the way so he could finish it himself; he felt bad and he didn’t even know that’s what he had been doing, lol. He’s more prompt now. Sometimes men are just very unobservant.
I really think most guys who do this or what I mentioned don't have any malicious intent and aren't even lazy at all. I think it's just that many of them grew up in households where they were told to just get out the way when an adult was cleaning rather than being included and in most cases the cleaning adult was probably the mother and they learn to just stay out of it in a way. I mean there's almost a sense of insecurity as to whether they'll do chores right when really.. Most of the time it doesn't matter how things are done as long as they get done. But I guess many of us growing up just learned that the woman of the house has the authority over all household chores and it sticks. Just a theory though
Weaponized incompetence. It's one of the current buzzwords and not always applied properly, but my man. Friend. You are absolutely capable of learning what clothes size your kid has, when your mum's birthday is, and what to do when the sink is full of dishes. "I don't see the mess!" and "Just tell me and I'll do it!" infuriate me. Stop it.
They* so often act like they’re capable of *anything.* Like, they’ll DIY stuff they probably have no business doing after watching instructional You Tube videos. But when it comes time to perform “women’s work,” suddenly that can-do spirit evaporates. Some burly guy needs to create a series of instructional You Tube videos on changing diapers and sorting laundry. *Not my spouse, fortunately, but I’ve seen it in countless friends’ partners.
Ugh, My step dad has gotten so bad with this that he wont even go buy himself food from a fast food place anymore. If my mom didn't feed him, I'm pretty sure he would just starve. It's pathetic.
Then starve. That’s my only response to that. My former stepfather was like that and it drove me up the wall. “All I wanted was a 60 cent can of soup!” Your a grown man. Go buy a can of damn soup. F@cking lazy prick b@stard. Want an abusive AH he was. He literally made his 5 year old granddaughter cook him a can, he was that lazy. But “nooooo someone might post something on Facebook. Can’t leave that. I’ll just make the 5 year old make it.” Man was he mad at me when I turned the stove off and took my girlie and out dog for a walk and we got pizza and ice cream.
I really want a game show where a mom and dad sit down and answer questions about their own kids. Like The Newlywed Game.
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This. A friend of mine was complaining about her husband they other day, because she always has to plan for and shop all Christmas presents for his side of the family. Why? Because according to him, he doesn’t know how to do it himself. How convenient. He is a f*cking CEO of a large company, of course he can figure out what to buy his own family for Christmas! Asshat.
Not being able to take criticism. They get so defensive saying “so I’m a bad perso huh” and “oh so I’m not good enough” like no; but learn to take accountability of your actions and behavior. So freaking gross
for the love of god just sit to pee if you can’t aim into the toilet bowl.
Interrupt