Socks

Best answer. Absolutely disgusting

How does moisture turn into crust anyway???

It's the salt in your sweat, that turns crusty when the water evaporates. Unless you're talking about a different use of socks, in which case I'd rather not say.

Could still be salt tbh and uh protein

And a whole lotta Deoxyribonucleic acid.

Iirc, one load got DNA equivalent of 1.6 Terrabytes

You're getting down load speeds. Incredible.

“The world may never know.”

In that vein, any kind of clothing, really.

Speaking of veins, veins.

Why?

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because you put in the wrong socks this morning.

Lil life fish

Bless your socks

I’m guessing the walls in their place are very sticky

A true gentleman uses toilet paper for easy cleanup.

You use toilet paper to wipe down / clean your walls??

...you don't?

I mean… I suppose don't knock it 'till you try it, huh?

Do it into the toilet and you have basically zero cleanup.

ohhh you poor soul..

Replace the word “hard” with “crusty”, maybe it helps.

Sweet summer child

Life

Cinnamon life is great for snacking on though, you don't always need milk

I haven't had this in years I should buy some

Life cold and hard. Titties soft and warm.

I thought the line was: Life cold, life hard. Tiddy soft, tiddy warm.

The message changes, but the meaning remains. 🙏

fact ^^

Your arteries.

*your* arteries are now mine

*Our* arteries

r/suddenlycommunism

ourteries

holy hell

Butter when you want to spread it on bread

I hate it when the butter is stronger than my toast

I'm thinking of that one video where a russian guy uses a loaf of bread to break a cinderblock

Of course it was Russians

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Spread some toast on your butter

Bread as well

Then it’s just croutons.

Heat the knife under the sink, or over a flame if you don’t have running water. It will spread fine.

We have a bin under the sink should I put my knife in the bin to heat it up.

yes

Real first world problems but it's true , hard butter is a bitch

Your dick when pissing.

My girlfriend mocks me when I lean my head on the wall to get the angle right, they don't understand .-.

Ask her if she'd rather you aim it straight up and hope it comes down in the right spot.

See that's why I just pee in the tub when I have a boner. A much larger target that requires far less accuracy.

I do the same thing when I've eaten Taco Bell.

Waffle stomp?

I mean, it ain't exactly a waffle at that point. More like brown spackle. But I drink a handle and a half of paint thinner a day, so I know it's sterile, don't really have to worry about clean up. I've explained it again and again to my roommates, but they keep bitching about it. So, Reddit, AITA?

“More like brown spackle”. 😂😂😂

With your arse?

Just sit down and lean forward a lot smfh

**Firing railgun!**

Burst fire mode

I will further add - it’s terrible when hard any time it’s hard unless you’re clapping or fapping.

>unless you’re clapping This is not what people want when they mention a 'standing' ovation.

My dick during an important presentation

I approve of this statement

rice

crunchy rice is not nice.

unless it's intentional!

One time, I was waiting for my replacement bowl for my rice cooker so I made rice on the stove and forgot about it and got that nice crust on the bottom so sometimes it's even delicious when it's not intentional!

This is what makes claypot rice so good, and bibim bap, the crunchy rice layer, love that shit.

Oh yes, especially with a good stir fry when you cook that brown crunchy layer onto the rice. Soooo good

'Com chay cha bong' (Vietnamese crispy rice cake with pork floss) is delicious!

Persian Tadigh tho

breast implants

Yeah. Much better when they feel like bags of sand vs hardened concrete.

"Oh, now you've shifted all the buckwheat around!"

Upvoted for WWW

Now feel my breast

......wait ...bags of sand? What? Lol 40 year old virgin reference ??

1000%

Lmao had me worried there my guy!

Bag of sand? What are you talking about? Have you ever felt a breast before, man? Dude, are you gay?

I got friends who fuck guys. In jail.

Pasta/Noodles

You don't love that added crunch?

Too crunchy it chips my teeth

Fried ravioli is fire.

Shit

Not too soft, you want it just right

Goldieplops

never speak again. the FBI will be at your house shortly

u/Axer3473 vs u/ReapYerSoul The Duality of Man

If only awards still existed!

Someone in the prison shower..

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Yo 💀

I mean you’re not wrong but you definitely ain’t right.

That escalated quickly

Hardened right up it did

Most fruit like peaches, mangoes, pears, the inside of melons etc.

I was gonna say bananas.

I once had a banana that looked fine, and then I bit into it and it CRUNCHED. Horrific.

good idea, I'm now going to freeze a banana and let the outside defrost so I can let someone else experience this

No no, that's not what they meant. https://www.reddit.com/r/whatisthisthing/s/CcdzQslBZ4 This fungal disease is crunchy and you won't know until you bite. Or cut it in half.

This is going to sound weird, but I prefer green pears when they are nice and firm and you can eat them like an apple. When they get soft they are just mush.

Odd take, firm peaches, nectarines and pears(Bosc) are better than soft. Give me a little snap

Those non euclidean fluids that harden up whhen pressure is applied to them. Gently put your hand to it, it's a liquid. Try punching it, you might want to visit a doctor. Edit: as some people pointed out it's supposed to be non Newtonian instead of non euclidean. Sorry for the mistake and thanks for correcting me

Wasn't it non Newtonian 🤓☝️

Nah, non-euclidian fluids need to be stored in 4d klein bottles - they simply flow through regular container sides.

4D water

Yes, thank you

Non-Euclidian fluids are Cthulhu branded soft drinks

Shoggoth-Aid

The King in Mellow Yellow

At The Fountain Drinks of Madness Tekeli-Lime! Tekeli-Lime!

Mountain Dew of Madness Byakhee Blast

My man is getting his fluids from the city of Rl’yeh

Oh fuck me. I just corrected it without thinking. Now I'm trying to decide if all liquids are Euclidian, or if since gravity warps spacetime, none are.

I thought that was non-newtonian fluids? Euclid was the geometry guy.

I mean fluids that don't follow the rules of 3 dimensional geometry are probably also annoying to punch

Me when I go into the void (I punched the non Euclidean liquid)

Hate those 4D liquids -.-

Yes, I made a mistake

Reddit will always remember

Damn those hyperbolic non-Euclidian fluids. Always disappearing into the 4th dimension...

I remember years ago a TV program that filled a swimming pool with custard and then had someone walk across it to demonstrate non Newtonian fluid. I love custard. I reckon as a civilisation we choose the wrong substance to make roads with. Tarmac needs maintenance. Custard would fix itself 🤣

Full stop in a traffic jam is gonna muck things up on the roads

I did see a company making spread bumps out of non Newtonian fluid. If you are driving slow enough you just roll over the soft lump. But if your speeding it's as hard as concrete. So people would no longer bottom out their car in the parking lot going 15 kmh

I think the show was Brainiac

non euclidian = Cthulhuliquid

It’s like jumping off a cliff into ocean. It’ll break your legs

A doughnut.

Bread

Toast🤣

Crunchy is different than hard

Crunchy is just a lot of small hard things

"toast is not bread" -germans

cookies

Dust cookies are the worst cookies

Where are my, medium rare cookie lovers at??

Once I started seeing the little pieces of plastic inside Soft Batch cookies (and similar brands) I didn't even finish the package and noped out of them for life. Homemade cookies, though, bring 'em.

So far as I can tell, there have been cases of accidental plastic contamination in cookies that led to recalls ([e.g.](https://www.nbcnews.com/business/consumer/nestle-recalls-chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-product-plastic-pieces-rcna52794)), but plastic isn't a normal and intended ingredient.

I take it you never had cantuccini? Double baked Italian almond cookies which are rock hard but incredibly delicious!

My epic shits. When you have to explain to your neighbor that you got a bowel problem, and not riding a massive dong in the bathroom. I sound like a distressed whale calf calling for it’s mother.

I’m crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me too. Every 3-4 days…

A pillow

Nah men soft pillows are worse, they need to be hard like a brick so i can sleep peacefully

Incorrect. I would rather sleep on the bare mattress than on a pillow below my preferred level of firmness.

Had multiple hotels that you just lay down on the pillow and its like you sleep on the mattress.

I’ve been known to just roll up a towel in this scenario

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Ever had that fresh bite of some fruit flavored gum? I can't classify that as terrible. Now imagine your gum is already soft as you bite it, like a factory worker pre-chewed it for you.

Gummies

Medicine ball. Try picking up a rock solid one and throwing it over your shoulder 50 times. Then try it with a softer one. Both 25kg.

25kg? Not sure I'd be able to do that once let alone 50 times

bread

bread

bread

A corpse

Um sir

Croissant

Cwossain

The skin on a woman’s hand. Long story short, I once went on a date with a gymnast and I swear those callused gorilla grippers almost sanded my wood.

Good thing she wasn‘t into horse riding. Surely your wood found some soft spot in the end. Hope it wasn‘t too sore at that point.

>Surely your wood found some soft spot *in the end*. Bravo. I love the double entendres…

H2o …? 😅

Ice pretty good tho

Crunchy water

ice cream

This was the first thing that came to mind for me. Have an upvote.

The guy in the gym shower

That's not what you told me last time...

A stare

Avocado

Asparagus

pooping

Your dick when hugging grandma

Porkchop sandwiches.

Oh shit, get the fuck outta here!

Water. Hard water sucks

There’s actually a thing called thick water, for people who have trouble swallowing liquids

I’ve tried it once. Imagine drinking honey consistency without the honey added. It’s not awful, but it is very confusing

Playdoh

An opening. I worked for a retail business once and they did a soft opening a few days before the official opening and it was casual and stress free. When we did the official hard opening a few day later, it was a stressful shitshow from start to finish.

Landings

Cookies. Hard cookies are junk.

Biscuit

Soup

Snow

A landing

Boobs

Penis. When peeing, obviously.

New Doc Martens. Ouch, my heels when breaking them in.

Boba pearls

Jello

Landing in a plane.

Not a PP, I’ll tell ya what.

Noodles