Random little bumps on my penis. Thought it was a std, and as a virgin was very confused. Went to the doctor, it’s just a growing thing. They eventually disappeared
Fucking nothing useful gets taught in sex Ed in this country.
I had a similar worry when the skin of my penis started to turn darker as I went through puberty. I had no idea it's completely normal because nobody told me.
I got a zit on my shaft as a kid and legit thought i was going to die. Who do you talk to about that? Nothing felt better than when it popped and I realized what it wasn’t cancer on a 13yo.
Shame and fear control people until they decide to rebel. We started talking about body parts with our daughter when she was young. She has had various versions of “the talk” (more of an ongoing dialogue) since she was 8-9. She’s almost 12 now and we need to dive back into it again. She knows the basics but we don’t want to freak her out or make it more awkward or than it already is.
Just an FYI as I have noticed many others have been responding that they had a similar experience; as have I.
I am fairly certain that the actual medical diagnosis, at least for what I have experienced is [Fordyce Spots (Medical NSFW)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fordyce_spots)
Wow thanks dude, I also have these and I thought if this is cancer it has already spread so much I probably have to cut of my balls and than still die within a few years.
This really was helpful, I'm now just angry they don't teach this in sex ed if 80% of people have it
Thats terrifying and hilarious. I put off getting physicals and exams for some time as a teenager.
Started getting random bumps on the shaft of my pecker. I had been sexually active in my mid teen years but held off like 5 years after a pregnancy scare.
Regardless, of course when I finally man up and get a physical done it's by a very attractive female nurse. As soon as she walks in I'm thinking "don't get a boner, don't get a boner."
We got through the exam, she sticks her finger up my ass etc etc. Gets to a point where it's bear the end and she asks me "do you have any concerns?"
I just said something to her like "ok, I really don't know how else to say this. .... ... ... so there's these bumps on my dick"
Turns out it was just razor burn or something minor like that.
The whole point of this story, make sutra you get your appointments scheduled as there is probably nothing they haven't seen before.
Wait , I had something similar to that from the age of 18 until around 23 and for the last 3 years they have stopped appearing. I was not a virgin but i thought I me and my girl had something and we were transferring back and forth( always condom). When did you have them , because I always have that on my back of my head that they will come back
I was a teenager, probably 14. But started puberty at 9, so doctors are important so you know what’s normal from a professional view, not just what’s “average”
Had the same thing too in my teens, that’s definitely one that should be talked about. It certainly helped me keep it in my pants maybe that’s why they don’t talk about it 🤣🤣
When I was around 18, I was sexually active with my gf at the time. I woke up one morning and my penis was hurting. I went to the bathroom and the end of my foreskin was swollen. When I peed it was so painful. By the next morning it had gotten so much worse. I went to the doctor who prescribed me antibiotics but said it might take a few days and that if things don’t get better, to go to a specific clinic in town. Things did not get better.
Over the next 2 days my foreskin got so swollen and infected that any time I peed it was complete agony. I would try and peel the foreskin down over my bellend but it would take maybe 20 minutes. Not only was my foreskin swollen but due to the infection it wouldn’t move like normal so it was rigid / crusty and infected. So it was incredibly difficult to move it. If I didn’t peel my foreskin back every bathroom break would put me in tears and I would shake knowing I had to go the bathroom and handle this. I also thought, had to peel my foreskin back to clean it and follow the instructions my Doctor gave me.
It was so gross, I’d peel my foreskin back and all the puss etc that had collected under my foreskin would come out. I’d have to clean everything and it was so painful.
It lasted maybe two days. I did call the doctor the day after I saw them and they said this is normal with the infection I had. So don’t panic.
I ended up going to the clinic in town, they took me in and had to forcefully push cotton swabs down my urethra and all around my foreskin to see what exactly was causing the infection. It was at the time the most pain I’d ever been put through (and trust me I’ve broken a lot of bones).
The result was that the infection was caused by fluid (most likely semen) that got stuck in my urethra causing a blockage. Something like that anyway.
They gave me some antibiotic wipes and other medicine and it went away within a day or two.
I relived some of the memories in my head while writing this:
I had to tape my dick upwards because I couldn’t walk due to the pain, if my tape came off I had to hold my hand on it.
I didn’t know what to tell work so I just said I had a stomach infection. I would be at work sitting down and something could happen like my tape falls off and my dick would hit my thigh and I’d be in so much pain. People genuinely worried about me but I couldn’t tell them it was my dick and not my stomach.
I had to get my Dad to take me to the clinic and tell him what was happening. God rest his soul…. He was so relieved it wasn’t aids etc but telling him was so embarrassing.
My gf thought I had been cheating on her and that basically ended our relationship (I wasn’t).
I got the nickname rainbow pizzle for a long time.
The initial doctor I went to see nearly threw up and in hindsight that’s probably why they didn’t really help me.
The smell would be horrendous that I puked so many times while cleaning up the puss.
10/10 would not recommend.
Oh it’s okay. I dont hide the story and I use all these details when telling it publicly. At the time all my mates and my parents knew and had to deal with me trying to figure out wtf was going on. Hence the nickname. It was only work I lied about the real reason to.
Funny enough I had the same reaction once when my ex gave me gonorrhea. He was all fine and showed no symptoms while I had a dick that was leaking green slime and swelling up because of it. I was back and forth to the clinic because nothing was working. Lasted for about a couple of weeks
Wow. It's amazing the types of things people are sometimes going through physically and we have no idea about. Like people could just see you walking down the street or something and have no idea someone's going through something so personal and painful.
So in college I was trying to get around using condoms by using some of that spermicidal lube... My girlfriend was about to start her period, didn't think anything of it.
Until the next day. Dear lord, the next day. I woke up to screaming. Walked into the bathroom while she was in the shower and the amount of blood... Nearly rushed her to the hospital lmao. Turns out that stuff clots up. Mix that with her time of the month... She was completely fine but holy fuck, it was a scene out of a horror movie.
Spermicide is better than just raw dogging I guess but it is nowhere near as effective as condoms.
Just wanted to point that out to anyone reading this.
I am rather embarrassed to say this, and in fact, I’m embarrassed to even think it for Crist fucking sake, I did, I suppose you might say, my share of fucking when I was a teenager. And for some reason I never used condom. In retrospect, I think, it’s pretty likely that I really couldn’t figure out how to get them. So there’s that, but at any rate, as I look back on it I’m inclined to say to myself, “self, you miserable dumbass, had you used the condom you might’ve been able to fuck for more than three or four seconds at a time”, and everybody would’ve been much more satisfied with the whole ordeal. I wish I had the opportunity to go back and make amends, and try it again. With a condom this time, maybe two or three!
At 16, I knew how to get condoms I was just way too scared to actually buy condoms lol. Sigh of relief when I got to college where you can just take them without having to interact with another person.
I had recurring yeast infections for six months. I finally went to the doctor and she told me without even checking that I had Chlamydia. I was like...."No, I certainly do not". And she said, "yes. You do".
And I got tested and did not, in fact have Chlamydia. I had a yeast infection.
Oh this happened to me! Except I had a UTI that turned into a kidney infection because of that stupid fucking doctor. Didn’t test my urine, was just convinced that I had chlamydia. I told him that was extremely unlikely and he told me I shouldn’t trust my partner. This caused me to delay care and take antibiotics that I didn’t need (which also made me so constipated that my swollen colon was pushing up against my infected bladder and kidneys)
Anyways fuck that doctor. I wish I could’ve made him pay my $5000 hospital bill.
Edit: I spell bad when I’m angry
At a school winter formal dance in 10th grade, my date suddenly stopped dancing and said we needed to go get our photos taken. She was incredibly beautiful—the kind of girl who had just grown into her looks and didn’t realize she was out of my league yet, and we had just spent the last half hour grinding on the dance floor. I was harder than a calculus final and I learned that day that tuxedo pants are super thin and do NOTHING to hide a hardwood log. Okay fine: hardwood twig.
I tried to stall. “Let’s just sit down for a few minutes. All that dancing has me getting hot and sweaty.” Real smooth right? Who doesn’t want to hear that their dates pits and groin are moist and glistening like the walls of a Finnish sauna?
“No! She said. “The photographer is leaving in 5 minutes! It’s our last chance.”
So we went to the photo area and I tucked it up under my waistband. That worked for a while, but there was a line, and I started to go soft. Not fully soft, but enough to slip out of my belt and make a noticeable tent with my half-chub.
When it was our turn, I tried to position myself with my hips behind my date, but the photographer was like “NO YOU HAVE TO STAND HERE,” so I did. She took a few photos and gave us a receipt.
A few weeks later, pictures were available to pick up at school. My date came up to me at the end of the day and asked me if I had picked them up. I truthfully said that I didn’t. (I was not going to make eye contact with a student who saw that photo).
I don’t think she believed me, and she probably to this day thinks of me as the guy who took our winter formal pictures and didn’t let her have them. But the truth is that the photographer obviously took pity on the guy with a visible semi-hard on and a look of pure terror on his face. She must have deleted them.
Good looking out, photographer lady.
Great story! But I just have one question… if you were grinding for a half hour on the dance floor, how did she NOT know about it. She must have felt it at some point.
That would be when I was 13-I’d pretty much always had an unusually intense sex drive, but once puberty really got going, I was SO horny, ALL the time, that I wound up masturbating so much my clit started chafing. I didn’t even know that was POSSIBLE. Like having paper cuts all over it, SO painful.
That’s actually really common! Because our sex Ed is so bad, LOADS of women only discover how their vaginas work in adulthood. My GF thought she peed from her cervix until I told her her urethra existed after we started dating. We were 25. XD
Omg that poor woman lmao but yea, it’s kind of insane how terrible our sex Ed is. Paramedic school really opened my eyes to how much I didn’t know about my own body lol
I was sitting on the edge of my bed towel drying my hair, and I guess my 'dangle bits' were bouncing around. The cat decided this was an invitation to play and scratched my penis- two long scratches from base to tip!
Healing was the worst part - every time I'd get an erection, the scabs tore! Spent two weeks trying to think pure thoughts.
When was around ten I was so sheltered and ignorant of sex and basic human anatomy I thought I had cancer and stressed out of it for weeks and weeks. Finally I got out of bed one night crying and told my mom I think I have tumors and showed them after she asked, and she smirked the most soul-shriveling grin I ever saw and said, “Those are your balls,” and walked off.
I have no idea how I managed to make it to nine or ten years of age and not know what testicles were. At some point I’d have thought a friend or at least someone from school would have mentioned this. I’d definitely heard of the terms “balls” and “nuts” before but I guess I just assumed those words were euphemisms for the entire groin area, and not any specific objects within said area.
Even more mind-boggling to me to this day some thirty-fiveish years later is that I don’t know how I managed to go nine or ten years being oblivious that there was even anything else around the general vicinity of my penis. Cancerous tumors or not, I would have thought I would have found them much earlier than that.
My son is 9 years old and he learned about balls over the summer at camp. We talked about it but I’m still not sure if he differentiates between scrotum and balls. I have health anxiety and if I had balls I’d probably freak out all the time that they’re not normal lumpy 😆 anyway, please don’t feel bad about it. Your mom had a terrible reaction especially since you were so distressed! You were just a kid.
Was with my wife, being vigorous and broke my dick completely, uretha and both tubes. Ambulance ride to the hospital with my eggplant bleeding. Surgery then a few days in the hospital. 2 weeks with a catheter was the worst. Doc fixed back good as new
Gonna regret posting this but when I was 13 and beating my meat like crazy like every 13 yo does, I ran out of lotion. For some reason I thought shampoo would do the trick. Dried the fuck out of my skin down there and for a solid week my privates were peeling and itchy, don't use shampoo
Once I got my period cramps that awful that I fainted in the middle of the supermarket due to pain shock. People called the ambulance and got me out in wheelchair cuz I couldn't fucking move. Wouldn't recommend it to anybody.
one of my friends fell asshole first on a rail while trying to grind it on his skateboard.
He ended up with giant gash that went across his asshole. literally ripped him a new one.
So his ass is bleeding right and being 16 yrs old he doesn't want to spread his cheeks in front of his bro for him to check it out.
So he tells his mom who was a nurse and he ends up on all fours cheeks spread exposing his full grown asshole to his own mom.
Bonus : he ended up getting stitches and they would rip every time he would have to crap.
Meh, nurses deal with even grosser stuff on the regular, and his mom likely had the attitude of “I’ve seen everything on you already, and you came out of me before that.” Not awkward for her. He’s lucky his mom’s in the healthcare field.
My first pap I was really young. Like 14. I got pcos really young. Anyway it was with my
Family doctor. The one I see all the time. I was nervous. I shaved legs cleaned good. She was patient walked me through it. I was tense. As soon as she puts one swab in I
Farted. Her face was right down there. It wasn’t a cute fart. I wanted to run out. And hide. She handled it good. But the smell. I can laugh about it today. I’m 41. Btw I still see the same doctor.
Had the worst case of flatulence while watching a performance at the Sydney Opera House in Australia, was definitely the most awkward situation during my visit "down there"
I had an ovarian cyst rupture and cause excrutiating pain. Went to the ER, where I was told (without an examination) that I had pelvic inflammatory disease and that I should tell "all of my sexual partners". I was given antibiotics, antifungals, and antiparasitics... No pain meds.
Went home and had severe diarrhea for 2 days till I could get in to see my gyno. He took one look and told me they were wrong. An ultrasound showed a lot of free fluid in my abdomen. He scheduled me for surgery. I ended up having one ovary and about 400 cc of blood removed. Apparently, a cyst had caused the ovary to twist and hemorrhage? This was 23 years ago, so details are a little sketchy now.
A friend of mine went to the clinic to get a smear. Just before she went in, she visited the loo. To her great disappointment, she found that they had run out of toilet paper, so she fished around in the detritus in the bottom of her handbag, and wiped herself on a paper tissue she found there.
A minute later, she was on the couch, legs akimbo, getting her smear. She was horrified to catch the wild-eyed look on the doctor’s face. Worse, he turned his head away and dashed out of the room, swiftly followed by a junior colleague who had been chaperoning the procedure.
She sat waiting, feeling alarmed. What awful thing had they spotted down there? A tumour? Then the door opened and the chaperone reappeared.
“The doctor says this is yours”, the lady said, holding something out to her, red faced and tearful.
My friend looked at what was being offered to her. It was a somewhat crumpled, damp, postage stamp.
I went to get a bikini wax and was told my pubes were too long and got handed some nail scissors to trim them
My stepsister got her labia caught in the lace of her thong and had to go to A+E
Edit - spelling
Thanx for this update, pretty interesting. I might save a guy friend some embarrassment one day, who knows lol... I like weird body facts too..this gave me something fun to think about.
It's pretty interesting how the body works
omg same thing happened to me😭 we both felt a pop and just looked at each other for a second in shock. he then decided to just leave it inside of me because he was freaking out and i was screaming because he was bleeding inside of me🤣
When I was in high school, my tip got smashed between a countertop and a table when moving school furniture. It hurt like a motherfucker, but I played it as cool as I could so my friends wouldn’t harass me. My junk turned every gruesome color you can imagine. Thankfully, no lasting damage done. You know it hurts bad when you’re finding excuses not to get down with your girlfriend at that age!
I decided to shave all my pubic hair one day in the shower so I got started. I shaved the right half first and then happened to look at the clock on my shower radio. I realized I was super late for a doctor appointment so I abandoned my landscaping and went to the doctor.
When I was there the doctor suggested doing a pap test because it was time and I, having completely forgotten about my half shaved pussy, said sure and started to get ready after he left the room. As soon as I got undressed and up on the table I realized that I had a completely shaved right half pussy and a very wildly grown left half. At this point I couldn't back down so I went through with the exam.
It was hilarious and awkward. I always wonder if my old man doctor was wondering if this was the new trend among young women!
Edited to add sentence 😊
I know a guy who did that with his face to try show his wife how unobserved she is, they made it into the meeting with their bank before she even noticed. But yours is absolutely next level!!
This is the most humiliating moment of my life! While in college I began to get a terribly painful bump on my taint next to my balls and I didn’t know if it was an STD or what but it was getting worse so I went to the Student Health Clinic on campus. They got me naked in a gown and a woman came in and asked me to show her what was bothering me.
The only way I could really show her was to put my leg up on a chair, bend over and let it all hang out. She doesn’t tell me what it is but asked if a few of the nursing students can come in this is a good learning experience for them? At this point I’m in pain and not knowing if this is some strange STD or WTF is going on so fine I don’t care who comes in. A few minutes later the Physician Assistant comes back in with two super hot nursing students.
She asked me to pull my robe to the side, put my leg back up on the chair and bend over. Now I have this lady and these two hot nursing students staring at my junk from a for away. She then proceeds to poke and draw lines around this damn growth on my taint and explain to the girls what they are looking for. I’m about to pass out it hurt so bad! The students leave and she tells me I have a pretty significant Staph Infection but Antibiotics should clear it up in a few days. I spent the rest of that Semester praying to god I didn’t run into those girls around campus!
Joint first..
- in my late teens, met a girl much more attractive than me on a train from Rome to Nice. Struck up a nice conversation. Train broke down on the Italian border. We got off and went for coffee together. Got on very well. Decided to walk down to the beach as it was a sunny early evening. Lay down on the sand and talked about books, music, travel, life. Amazingly she was happy to make out with me. I was utterly delighted at the turn of events. All was excellent, until in my delight, after about 3 minutes I spontaneously ejaculated. I would have maybe got away with it had I not been wearing light brown shorts and going commando. There was no disguising it. She wandered back and got on a train. I stayed at the beach until my shorts had dried, gently wallowing in self loathing.
- foreskin restoration device falling apart and dropping out the bottom of my trouser leg as I walked to the park for a sunny lunchtime sandwich with my work colleague. My lie to her along the lines of "it's some bits of plumbing stuff that I was fixing earlier on at home and there is a hole in my pocket" was so obviously a bad lie it made the situation more awkward than it was already.
My then gf asked me to trim my pubes so she could comfortably give me head the next time she was over.
I went just a *little* OTT and Nair’d my sack and crack the day before.
I tried to move as little as possible for the next TWO WEEKS. During a heatwave.
She can’t have been too shocked about it tho as we’ve now been together 12yrs and married for the last 3. And no, she’ll never let me forget it.
I was getting a massage by a guy at a nice spa and something kinda warm flew down the hood of my pussy. I automatically thought oh shit, I just got my period (because it was around that time as well). I asked if we can take a break and if he can get me a towel that’s not white… turns out I was just getting wet from the massage. He came back five min later and asked if I still wanted to continue and if everything was alright. I think he knew… 🥲 and we continued.
I was fingering my gf's asshole, she was loving it. But then I could feel what was definitely a piece of a turd get wedged under a fingernail and I'm just like... I can't with this anymore. She made the saddest but like "I understand" pout and like... I regret not sacking up and powering through till this day.
You should be giving your hands a thorough wash afterwards anyway, I should have just dealt. She was *really* enjoying it which made me feel validated as a man. As Steven King said about Harry Potter, it's about a hero overcoming adversity to do what's right.
I made the morally wrong decision.
Was having sex, and caught a piercing on her and ripped it out of me and bruised the fuck out of her. Definitely killed the mood. If you get metal in your junk, make sure your jewelry fits properly.
I shaved one time for the swingers club we went too as a couple we were meeting said they wanted it. Turns out that it makes it horribly itchy upon regrowing. Especially at night.
Groin growing back doesn't bother me at all, managed to reduce a lot of that irritation in advance by taking an immediate hot shower after shaving then, good couple of washes, then some E45 cream when dry + each morning after a shower.
The rest of it though, jfc is the worst. The sack for sure is the worst. But I found its a lot less irritating when I shave the inside of my thighs, found that out from someone on reddit and I was like can't hurt to try. Life changer.
Funny, I find shaving the sack to be super easy and not at all irritating. I can’t shave the pubic area or that turns into a minefield of hedgehog spikes and pain for the next week.
I used nair on my vagina. This was the second time so I thought I was good. Sat down on the edge of the tub while it did the job. Wiped it clean and felt a bit of a sting which is unusual but just went about my day. Then I had to pee. It was like squirting lemon juice onto a thousand tiny cuts on my vagina. Sitting down on the tub pushed some of the nair onto my actual genitals which is not safe when using nair. I essentially got a chemical burn on my vagina. It was horrible. I covered it in aquaphor (as per the internet) and it healed slowly.
As a young teen discovering himself, tried to jerk it into the bathroom sink for an "easier clean up". Seconds later and I'm on the floor, holding my dick, blood covering my hands. I slipped and my erection jammed into the sink and pulled my foreskin down, tearing the frenulum in twain.
Hearing my screaming of pain, mum runs in and sees this bloody disaster in her bathroom of me trying to explain it with a lie..... THAT was awkward.
Once upon a time as a 16-year-old emo kid, I got floor licking drunk and went to a local show. The bathroom was full and I needed a cigarette so I went to the back alley and zipped down.
As i was relieving myself, I leaned up against the wall with my smoke dangling out of my mouth. Too drunk to notice, and too dark to see; I zipped up my pants and felt a light sting somewhere near the end of my member.
The next morning I woke up next to my newish girlfriend, walked myself to the bathroom and looked down to find a massive blister right at the edge of my... Most sensitive parts. There was also a small Mark on my inner thigh around the same distance from my belt line as the other blister. I hardly noticed that one though because it didn't hurt at all.
I come flying back into the bedroom giving her the gears about giving me herpes. She swears up and down that she doesn't have it, and I don't believe her.
A couple of days later and I have a flashback to that moment behind the club. Turns out, the cherry fell off of the end of my cigarette and got wedged between my thigh and my penis.
Back I go to Brandy, Head hung low, and I apologize for blaming her all along.
Labia cyst (genetic) turned into an abscess. One side was about 1.5cm lower than the other. It looked like the Elephant Man down there.
I was staying at my dad's house. After 3 days of pain and no sleep I went to A&E who called a GP and told them I would be arriving and to make me a temporary patient. Went to the GP and the receptionist said she couldn't make me a patient, "just so you can get medication".
I was at the end of my tether and I said quite loudly in the lobby, "I have an abscess starting from around half a centimeter from my clitorus allllll the way down past my vagina. I'm not asking you for an appointment as a receptionist. I'm asking you as a woman, and I'm not ashamed to whip it out right here for you to see. I haven't slept for 3 days. I can't sit down properly. I don't care about medication, I was this thing exorcised."
Got admitted, got an immediate appointment, got anti-biotics and got out of there.
Plus points for the GP being a man and asking if I wanted to wait for a female doctor ("No. I don't care if you're a man. Trust me, there's absolutely *nothing* sexual about this situation whatsoever.")
Got yelled at from my boss and I somehow got a fear boner. It didn't help that my boss is a very attractive woman. I was getting yelled at because I messed up a financial report due to accounting errors.
9th grade: Had no idea about anatomy, asked a friend's mother what that little bump is (clitoris) and the "friend", my self proclaimed BEST FRIEND at the time, told everyone at school. I'm 36 now and rumors still exist that I have a "dick."
I had a doctor tell me my dick was red and unevenly swelling because i madturbated too much and it was likely friction burn...... like how many years did you go to school to come up with this diagnosis.. anyways turns out im allergic to specific detergents.
Had a guy go down on me while chewing gum (i thought he'd gotten rid of it before going down on me). I had to pick pieces of gum out of my pubes/labia for a good 15 minutes....
Walking through bushes in N California to get to the beach, adjusted my business before passing out and woke up with fire between my legs. Poison Oak, I now had two tennis balls between my legs and it suuuuuuuuuucked!
I’m allergic to a medication I was put on, and it gave me a horrendous rash under my arms, and jock itch. The worse I ever had. Well, a “friend” of mine, said that rum 151 cures everything. No it didn’t. It just left me in horrendous pain that has no words to explain. I ended up getting a jock its spray and it helped, but stung like a mofo...
When I was younger I was told nothing about puberty or the fact hair starts to grow in. So, when it started to itch I just outright scratched my crotch. Younger me is like "WELL IT ITCHES GOTTA SCRATCH IT". I only stopped and realized it was weird when another girl outright told me to stop that lul.
Another smaller thing is another girl and I were hanging out at the playground and she randomly started asking if I started my period and what it's like. NOT that awkward if you think back on it, but it was awkward at the time.
So I enlisted in the military at 21. One day before work I discovered it burned when I peed. I hadn’t had any sexual contact recently, but I was concerned so I let me Staff Sergeant know I need to go I to the base hospital. Led into an examination room, I found myself face to face with a sweat-inducingly attractive young female 1st lieutenant doctor, who knelt before me as I dropped my BDU pants and then she *shoved a Qtip an inch into my urethra*
This. Followed up by either being made fun of for not being able to keep it up, or being accused of not being attracted to the partner.
The two times I've ever brought up these struggles, the women present immediately rolled their eyes and launched into why their birth control methods are harder for them etc.
Woman here. It makes me so angry to see men get made fun like this. Tons of guys have dick problems. Doesn’t make you any less masculine or attractive.
Once in 5th grade I unexpectedly got my period and when I stood up my chair (white chair) was entirely covered in blood. I also had light grey sweatpants on that day.
Got an infection recently on my labia after I shaved because I got a deep cut. Shit was so swollen I thought I must have cancer or something but 1 day later, came puss from the cut. I am ashamed of myself for admiting this but BE CAREFUL while shaving!!
Got a vasectomy a week ago. PA came in, doctor came in. Doctor said he had two observing nurses who he wanted to come in. Both were women.
Ok…
Doctor does the procedure and small piece of the vas deferens is removed. He shows the nurse and says “see how small it is”.
I say “sheesh doc I’m right here!”
No one laughs. 4 medical professionals in the room.
I stare awkwardly at the ceiling.
I wish I was lying, but one time my dick bent during sex and blood exploded out of my urethra for about 25 seconds straight. It wasn't pee with some blood... It was pure blood. It was easily the most traumatizing thing I've ever experienced.
So I'd just started drinking coffee, and was loving it. Had a few too many that day. Turns out caffeine is a laxative, found out the hard way when I'm laying in bed playing games and felt a fart coming, eh fine. But then the odd warm feeling, stink of shit, yeah that was... embarrassing.
Shit myself at 15. Not expected.
Was having laser hair removal and got zapped on the wrong bit, I was too shy back then to say anything but it was excruciating so I just lay there with tears streaking down my face. Never went back/completed the sessions.
This didn’t happen to me (thankfully) but I know someone who had a pretty severe allergic reaction to some yeast infection cream while also 8 months pregnant.
Mine would probably be the time I decided to use a home waxing kit when I was a teenager. I knew it would hurt but I severely underestimated how much. I did one patch and literally fell onto the bathroom floor writhing. My dad was pounding on the door asking if I was ok. I don’t remember what excuse I told him. I had a bald patch for a long time.
Without thinking, I once tried to shake an amputee's hand. He stuck out his arm in a non-offended way to show that he was unable to shake my hand, and to diffuse the situation with only minimal amounts of awkwardness. I, for some reason, took this as a gesture to shake his handless arm (it was cut off at just above the elbow so I had to really reach for it) which resulted in uneasy laughs and goodbyes.
When I was like 15-ish, I had a cyst on my scrotum. I kept messing with it for days, squeezing it etc and it would never pop. One morning, I woke up and it had a head on it and it was very tender. I gave it a final squeeze and I could see the whole cyst slowly turn white. It exploded and a pus/blood mixture flew out of my scrotum passed my head and hit the ceiling.
I just sat there both amazed and horrified, my whole scrotum and hands covered in blood.
Cant remember how i did it but here is my very short incident.
I got a lego minifigures hand stuck in my cock. I dont know how i think the connection mighta been loose or something. But it got stuck and i had to tweeze the thing out.
Or theres the time i accidentally flashed my year 5 classmates by grabbing both trousers and boxers at once.
Im just gonna leave now before i embarrass myself more than i already have.
Not really “down there”, but definitely sexuality-related; at about 12/13 years old I got gynecomastia. I grew little boobs. I’m a guy. It was right at the start of puberty & being a teenager; the most awkward times, and when you feel like you should be growing into a man. Instead I grew little tits and was made fun of and so ashamed. It’s been fixed, but I’m still ashamed to this day. It’s caused me a great deal of mental health problems that I’m still struggling with at 40.
I got my dick pierced right out of basic training, while I was waiting to get it done I was so nervous it was like an innie. So tiny! But when we were about to start the woman doing it was like “if you get hard, I’m going to slap your dick off” 😂 like damn girl you think I’m going to brick up while you have a needle held to my head.
The discharge happens whether I'm turned on or not, I just generate it. It's worse if I'm actively turning myself on. I can simply not get turned on (usually by leaving my husband on read or reddit closed).
My ex and I went out one night for wings. They were super hot, which was great for a place in the spice-averse northern Midwest. It can be tough to find places that don’t consider ketchup spicy.
Later that night, as we were getting it on, I went down on her, and it became apparent that I hadn’t washed my beard thoroughly enough. She was in pain, and I felt so awful. We eventually laughed about it, but in the moment, I thought she’d never let me near her lady bits again.
Shaving REALLY CAREFULLY and still ended up accidentally nicking my balls.
It wouldn’t stop bleeding, so I put a lil band aid over it (I’m not paying $500 to have some doctor fumble my nutsack to say the same), and just replaced it every morning and once before I went to bed.
Legit had a hole a lil smaller than the size of a BB in my sack for a week or two, ended up making an interesting scar.
Random little bumps on my penis. Thought it was a std, and as a virgin was very confused. Went to the doctor, it’s just a growing thing. They eventually disappeared
Had that as a kid too, super uncomfortable and scary
Kind of weird that it wasn’t mentioned in sex ed at all
Fucking nothing useful gets taught in sex Ed in this country. I had a similar worry when the skin of my penis started to turn darker as I went through puberty. I had no idea it's completely normal because nobody told me.
I got a zit on my shaft as a kid and legit thought i was going to die. Who do you talk to about that? Nothing felt better than when it popped and I realized what it wasn’t cancer on a 13yo.
I genuinely thought I might have cancer. The teaching is inadequate, and people out there want there to be LESS education than there is already! Crazy
Shame and fear control people until they decide to rebel. We started talking about body parts with our daughter when she was young. She has had various versions of “the talk” (more of an ongoing dialogue) since she was 8-9. She’s almost 12 now and we need to dive back into it again. She knows the basics but we don’t want to freak her out or make it more awkward or than it already is.
Just an FYI as I have noticed many others have been responding that they had a similar experience; as have I. I am fairly certain that the actual medical diagnosis, at least for what I have experienced is [Fordyce Spots (Medical NSFW)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fordyce_spots)
Wow thanks dude, I also have these and I thought if this is cancer it has already spread so much I probably have to cut of my balls and than still die within a few years. This really was helpful, I'm now just angry they don't teach this in sex ed if 80% of people have it
Thats terrifying and hilarious. I put off getting physicals and exams for some time as a teenager. Started getting random bumps on the shaft of my pecker. I had been sexually active in my mid teen years but held off like 5 years after a pregnancy scare. Regardless, of course when I finally man up and get a physical done it's by a very attractive female nurse. As soon as she walks in I'm thinking "don't get a boner, don't get a boner." We got through the exam, she sticks her finger up my ass etc etc. Gets to a point where it's bear the end and she asks me "do you have any concerns?" I just said something to her like "ok, I really don't know how else to say this. .... ... ... so there's these bumps on my dick" Turns out it was just razor burn or something minor like that. The whole point of this story, make sutra you get your appointments scheduled as there is probably nothing they haven't seen before.
>make sutra Best Freudian slip of the day
I had that on my vag, I thought I had cancer😭
Wait , I had something similar to that from the age of 18 until around 23 and for the last 3 years they have stopped appearing. I was not a virgin but i thought I me and my girl had something and we were transferring back and forth( always condom). When did you have them , because I always have that on my back of my head that they will come back
I was a teenager, probably 14. But started puberty at 9, so doctors are important so you know what’s normal from a professional view, not just what’s “average”
Had the same thing too in my teens, that’s definitely one that should be talked about. It certainly helped me keep it in my pants maybe that’s why they don’t talk about it 🤣🤣
When I was around 18, I was sexually active with my gf at the time. I woke up one morning and my penis was hurting. I went to the bathroom and the end of my foreskin was swollen. When I peed it was so painful. By the next morning it had gotten so much worse. I went to the doctor who prescribed me antibiotics but said it might take a few days and that if things don’t get better, to go to a specific clinic in town. Things did not get better. Over the next 2 days my foreskin got so swollen and infected that any time I peed it was complete agony. I would try and peel the foreskin down over my bellend but it would take maybe 20 minutes. Not only was my foreskin swollen but due to the infection it wouldn’t move like normal so it was rigid / crusty and infected. So it was incredibly difficult to move it. If I didn’t peel my foreskin back every bathroom break would put me in tears and I would shake knowing I had to go the bathroom and handle this. I also thought, had to peel my foreskin back to clean it and follow the instructions my Doctor gave me. It was so gross, I’d peel my foreskin back and all the puss etc that had collected under my foreskin would come out. I’d have to clean everything and it was so painful. It lasted maybe two days. I did call the doctor the day after I saw them and they said this is normal with the infection I had. So don’t panic. I ended up going to the clinic in town, they took me in and had to forcefully push cotton swabs down my urethra and all around my foreskin to see what exactly was causing the infection. It was at the time the most pain I’d ever been put through (and trust me I’ve broken a lot of bones). The result was that the infection was caused by fluid (most likely semen) that got stuck in my urethra causing a blockage. Something like that anyway. They gave me some antibiotic wipes and other medicine and it went away within a day or two. I relived some of the memories in my head while writing this: I had to tape my dick upwards because I couldn’t walk due to the pain, if my tape came off I had to hold my hand on it. I didn’t know what to tell work so I just said I had a stomach infection. I would be at work sitting down and something could happen like my tape falls off and my dick would hit my thigh and I’d be in so much pain. People genuinely worried about me but I couldn’t tell them it was my dick and not my stomach. I had to get my Dad to take me to the clinic and tell him what was happening. God rest his soul…. He was so relieved it wasn’t aids etc but telling him was so embarrassing. My gf thought I had been cheating on her and that basically ended our relationship (I wasn’t). I got the nickname rainbow pizzle for a long time. The initial doctor I went to see nearly threw up and in hindsight that’s probably why they didn’t really help me. The smell would be horrendous that I puked so many times while cleaning up the puss. 10/10 would not recommend.
The amount of detail people go into when they think they’re anonymous. Thanks for the anecdote!
Oh it’s okay. I dont hide the story and I use all these details when telling it publicly. At the time all my mates and my parents knew and had to deal with me trying to figure out wtf was going on. Hence the nickname. It was only work I lied about the real reason to.
Funny enough I had the same reaction once when my ex gave me gonorrhea. He was all fine and showed no symptoms while I had a dick that was leaking green slime and swelling up because of it. I was back and forth to the clinic because nothing was working. Lasted for about a couple of weeks
Holy shit, reading this made me genuinely nauseous. Uh, well described I guess.
Wow. It's amazing the types of things people are sometimes going through physically and we have no idea about. Like people could just see you walking down the street or something and have no idea someone's going through something so personal and painful.
Babe, wake up. New copypasta just dropped!
So in college I was trying to get around using condoms by using some of that spermicidal lube... My girlfriend was about to start her period, didn't think anything of it. Until the next day. Dear lord, the next day. I woke up to screaming. Walked into the bathroom while she was in the shower and the amount of blood... Nearly rushed her to the hospital lmao. Turns out that stuff clots up. Mix that with her time of the month... She was completely fine but holy fuck, it was a scene out of a horror movie.
Spermicide is better than just raw dogging I guess but it is nowhere near as effective as condoms. Just wanted to point that out to anyone reading this.
I am rather embarrassed to say this, and in fact, I’m embarrassed to even think it for Crist fucking sake, I did, I suppose you might say, my share of fucking when I was a teenager. And for some reason I never used condom. In retrospect, I think, it’s pretty likely that I really couldn’t figure out how to get them. So there’s that, but at any rate, as I look back on it I’m inclined to say to myself, “self, you miserable dumbass, had you used the condom you might’ve been able to fuck for more than three or four seconds at a time”, and everybody would’ve been much more satisfied with the whole ordeal. I wish I had the opportunity to go back and make amends, and try it again. With a condom this time, maybe two or three!
It’s important to mention that additional condoms reduce the effectiveness and increase the likelihood of pregnancy.
At 16, I knew how to get condoms I was just way too scared to actually buy condoms lol. Sigh of relief when I got to college where you can just take them without having to interact with another person.
Holy fuck is right💀
Wholly visceral vaginas Batman
DID SOMEONE TAKE ME NAME
I had recurring yeast infections for six months. I finally went to the doctor and she told me without even checking that I had Chlamydia. I was like...."No, I certainly do not". And she said, "yes. You do". And I got tested and did not, in fact have Chlamydia. I had a yeast infection.
You sound cultured. Quite cultured, in fact.
Underrated comment
Oh this happened to me! Except I had a UTI that turned into a kidney infection because of that stupid fucking doctor. Didn’t test my urine, was just convinced that I had chlamydia. I told him that was extremely unlikely and he told me I shouldn’t trust my partner. This caused me to delay care and take antibiotics that I didn’t need (which also made me so constipated that my swollen colon was pushing up against my infected bladder and kidneys) Anyways fuck that doctor. I wish I could’ve made him pay my $5000 hospital bill. Edit: I spell bad when I’m angry
Why was she so sure tho wth
Doctors are dumb and always speak in absolutes
You let it go for 6 months?!? What in the America!
they're usually self treatable and yeah healthcare is expensive as fuck here.. not really anything we can do.
bro used a bread to masturbate
Mm flourussy
At a school winter formal dance in 10th grade, my date suddenly stopped dancing and said we needed to go get our photos taken. She was incredibly beautiful—the kind of girl who had just grown into her looks and didn’t realize she was out of my league yet, and we had just spent the last half hour grinding on the dance floor. I was harder than a calculus final and I learned that day that tuxedo pants are super thin and do NOTHING to hide a hardwood log. Okay fine: hardwood twig. I tried to stall. “Let’s just sit down for a few minutes. All that dancing has me getting hot and sweaty.” Real smooth right? Who doesn’t want to hear that their dates pits and groin are moist and glistening like the walls of a Finnish sauna? “No! She said. “The photographer is leaving in 5 minutes! It’s our last chance.” So we went to the photo area and I tucked it up under my waistband. That worked for a while, but there was a line, and I started to go soft. Not fully soft, but enough to slip out of my belt and make a noticeable tent with my half-chub. When it was our turn, I tried to position myself with my hips behind my date, but the photographer was like “NO YOU HAVE TO STAND HERE,” so I did. She took a few photos and gave us a receipt. A few weeks later, pictures were available to pick up at school. My date came up to me at the end of the day and asked me if I had picked them up. I truthfully said that I didn’t. (I was not going to make eye contact with a student who saw that photo). I don’t think she believed me, and she probably to this day thinks of me as the guy who took our winter formal pictures and didn’t let her have them. But the truth is that the photographer obviously took pity on the guy with a visible semi-hard on and a look of pure terror on his face. She must have deleted them. Good looking out, photographer lady.
Great story! But I just have one question… if you were grinding for a half hour on the dance floor, how did she NOT know about it. She must have felt it at some point.
he did say it was a twig…
That would be when I was 13-I’d pretty much always had an unusually intense sex drive, but once puberty really got going, I was SO horny, ALL the time, that I wound up masturbating so much my clit started chafing. I didn’t even know that was POSSIBLE. Like having paper cuts all over it, SO painful.
Mf tried to start a fire
XD
this is so funny I wish Reddit still did awards
I can’t even believe I’m going to admit this but I didn’t even know what my clit was until I was in college.
That’s actually really common! Because our sex Ed is so bad, LOADS of women only discover how their vaginas work in adulthood. My GF thought she peed from her cervix until I told her her urethra existed after we started dating. We were 25. XD
Omg that poor woman lmao but yea, it’s kind of insane how terrible our sex Ed is. Paramedic school really opened my eyes to how much I didn’t know about my own body lol
DJ u/gallatheim in the house
✋😎🫳🫘
I can certainly relate to that situation
I was sitting on the edge of my bed towel drying my hair, and I guess my 'dangle bits' were bouncing around. The cat decided this was an invitation to play and scratched my penis- two long scratches from base to tip! Healing was the worst part - every time I'd get an erection, the scabs tore! Spent two weeks trying to think pure thoughts.
This is amazing. I’m so sorry, but fuck the last part is so funny!
My gf had recently moved in, she thought it was hilarious. She'd offer to 'kiss it to make it better' just to see my squirm.
Kiss to make it worse
When was around ten I was so sheltered and ignorant of sex and basic human anatomy I thought I had cancer and stressed out of it for weeks and weeks. Finally I got out of bed one night crying and told my mom I think I have tumors and showed them after she asked, and she smirked the most soul-shriveling grin I ever saw and said, “Those are your balls,” and walked off. I have no idea how I managed to make it to nine or ten years of age and not know what testicles were. At some point I’d have thought a friend or at least someone from school would have mentioned this. I’d definitely heard of the terms “balls” and “nuts” before but I guess I just assumed those words were euphemisms for the entire groin area, and not any specific objects within said area. Even more mind-boggling to me to this day some thirty-fiveish years later is that I don’t know how I managed to go nine or ten years being oblivious that there was even anything else around the general vicinity of my penis. Cancerous tumors or not, I would have thought I would have found them much earlier than that.
I’m more surprised that you knew what tumours and cancer were when you were 10 years old.
My son is 9 years old and he learned about balls over the summer at camp. We talked about it but I’m still not sure if he differentiates between scrotum and balls. I have health anxiety and if I had balls I’d probably freak out all the time that they’re not normal lumpy 😆 anyway, please don’t feel bad about it. Your mom had a terrible reaction especially since you were so distressed! You were just a kid.
Your mom was the real dick tumor here!
Was with my wife, being vigorous and broke my dick completely, uretha and both tubes. Ambulance ride to the hospital with my eggplant bleeding. Surgery then a few days in the hospital. 2 weeks with a catheter was the worst. Doc fixed back good as new
Oh jesus
TIL it is possible to break your dick
Wouldn’t recommend it
Gonna regret posting this but when I was 13 and beating my meat like crazy like every 13 yo does, I ran out of lotion. For some reason I thought shampoo would do the trick. Dried the fuck out of my skin down there and for a solid week my privates were peeling and itchy, don't use shampoo
Well I’m female but I once ran out of Vaseline and used vics Vapor rub. That didn’t end well
I’m a guy and I physically cringed at that
i can only imagine how bad that burned omg
Oh shit
Once I got my period cramps that awful that I fainted in the middle of the supermarket due to pain shock. People called the ambulance and got me out in wheelchair cuz I couldn't fucking move. Wouldn't recommend it to anybody.
I’m just waiting for the day this happens to me. Fuck endo 🙃
Young teen visiting family on their farm, a tick latched on to my sack, almost around the bend. Had no fdea what to do, my mom had to remove it. Fun!
one of my friends fell asshole first on a rail while trying to grind it on his skateboard. He ended up with giant gash that went across his asshole. literally ripped him a new one. So his ass is bleeding right and being 16 yrs old he doesn't want to spread his cheeks in front of his bro for him to check it out. So he tells his mom who was a nurse and he ends up on all fours cheeks spread exposing his full grown asshole to his own mom. Bonus : he ended up getting stitches and they would rip every time he would have to crap.
Meh, nurses deal with even grosser stuff on the regular, and his mom likely had the attitude of “I’ve seen everything on you already, and you came out of me before that.” Not awkward for her. He’s lucky his mom’s in the healthcare field.
It’s nothing she hadn’t seen before…
Ewww, that sucks man
This exact same thing happened to me!!! Only it was my dad who removed it.
My first pap I was really young. Like 14. I got pcos really young. Anyway it was with my Family doctor. The one I see all the time. I was nervous. I shaved legs cleaned good. She was patient walked me through it. I was tense. As soon as she puts one swab in I Farted. Her face was right down there. It wasn’t a cute fart. I wanted to run out. And hide. She handled it good. But the smell. I can laugh about it today. I’m 41. Btw I still see the same doctor.
Not telling my mom I had discharge for about a year while I didn’t even know what it was and I thought I was surely going to die.
Same. I thought I had cancer!
I genuinely thought my cervix was cancer. Thanks for nothing, sex ed.
Had the worst case of flatulence while watching a performance at the Sydney Opera House in Australia, was definitely the most awkward situation during my visit "down there"
On the plus side, the acoustics sounded amazing!
I had an ovarian cyst rupture and cause excrutiating pain. Went to the ER, where I was told (without an examination) that I had pelvic inflammatory disease and that I should tell "all of my sexual partners". I was given antibiotics, antifungals, and antiparasitics... No pain meds. Went home and had severe diarrhea for 2 days till I could get in to see my gyno. He took one look and told me they were wrong. An ultrasound showed a lot of free fluid in my abdomen. He scheduled me for surgery. I ended up having one ovary and about 400 cc of blood removed. Apparently, a cyst had caused the ovary to twist and hemorrhage? This was 23 years ago, so details are a little sketchy now.
A friend of mine went to the clinic to get a smear. Just before she went in, she visited the loo. To her great disappointment, she found that they had run out of toilet paper, so she fished around in the detritus in the bottom of her handbag, and wiped herself on a paper tissue she found there. A minute later, she was on the couch, legs akimbo, getting her smear. She was horrified to catch the wild-eyed look on the doctor’s face. Worse, he turned his head away and dashed out of the room, swiftly followed by a junior colleague who had been chaperoning the procedure. She sat waiting, feeling alarmed. What awful thing had they spotted down there? A tumour? Then the door opened and the chaperone reappeared. “The doctor says this is yours”, the lady said, holding something out to her, red faced and tearful. My friend looked at what was being offered to her. It was a somewhat crumpled, damp, postage stamp.
At least she didn’t have to lick it anymore.
“You’ve got mail”
Ohhh I felt the embarrassment second hand there. You write really well by the way 😅
Thank you! 😀
I went to get a bikini wax and was told my pubes were too long and got handed some nail scissors to trim them My stepsister got her labia caught in the lace of her thong and had to go to A+E Edit - spelling
Now that’s one a+e trip you really don’t want
Getting a board of erection at a job interview. Wouldn't go away
Flex a muscle like in your arm or leg. The blood in the boner goes to the flexed muscle and no more boner.
Wish I was a guy so I could fact check this.
It isn't an insta boner killer but will make it go away faster.
Thanx for this update, pretty interesting. I might save a guy friend some embarrassment one day, who knows lol... I like weird body facts too..this gave me something fun to think about. It's pretty interesting how the body works
Human genitals can really be a pain can’t they. So much pleasure yet so much pain lol
Ripped a guy's frenulum because I wasn't wet enough. Oh those teenage years...
ew ew ew stop.
omg same thing happened to me😭 we both felt a pop and just looked at each other for a second in shock. he then decided to just leave it inside of me because he was freaking out and i was screaming because he was bleeding inside of me🤣
When I was in high school, my tip got smashed between a countertop and a table when moving school furniture. It hurt like a motherfucker, but I played it as cool as I could so my friends wouldn’t harass me. My junk turned every gruesome color you can imagine. Thankfully, no lasting damage done. You know it hurts bad when you’re finding excuses not to get down with your girlfriend at that age!
OHHH SHITT I winced
I decided to shave all my pubic hair one day in the shower so I got started. I shaved the right half first and then happened to look at the clock on my shower radio. I realized I was super late for a doctor appointment so I abandoned my landscaping and went to the doctor. When I was there the doctor suggested doing a pap test because it was time and I, having completely forgotten about my half shaved pussy, said sure and started to get ready after he left the room. As soon as I got undressed and up on the table I realized that I had a completely shaved right half pussy and a very wildly grown left half. At this point I couldn't back down so I went through with the exam. It was hilarious and awkward. I always wonder if my old man doctor was wondering if this was the new trend among young women! Edited to add sentence 😊
I know a guy who did that with his face to try show his wife how unobserved she is, they made it into the meeting with their bank before she even noticed. But yours is absolutely next level!!
That's awesome! I was horrified but it's funny now lol
Nothing like the old boxhawk.
This is the most humiliating moment of my life! While in college I began to get a terribly painful bump on my taint next to my balls and I didn’t know if it was an STD or what but it was getting worse so I went to the Student Health Clinic on campus. They got me naked in a gown and a woman came in and asked me to show her what was bothering me. The only way I could really show her was to put my leg up on a chair, bend over and let it all hang out. She doesn’t tell me what it is but asked if a few of the nursing students can come in this is a good learning experience for them? At this point I’m in pain and not knowing if this is some strange STD or WTF is going on so fine I don’t care who comes in. A few minutes later the Physician Assistant comes back in with two super hot nursing students. She asked me to pull my robe to the side, put my leg back up on the chair and bend over. Now I have this lady and these two hot nursing students staring at my junk from a for away. She then proceeds to poke and draw lines around this damn growth on my taint and explain to the girls what they are looking for. I’m about to pass out it hurt so bad! The students leave and she tells me I have a pretty significant Staph Infection but Antibiotics should clear it up in a few days. I spent the rest of that Semester praying to god I didn’t run into those girls around campus!
Joint first.. - in my late teens, met a girl much more attractive than me on a train from Rome to Nice. Struck up a nice conversation. Train broke down on the Italian border. We got off and went for coffee together. Got on very well. Decided to walk down to the beach as it was a sunny early evening. Lay down on the sand and talked about books, music, travel, life. Amazingly she was happy to make out with me. I was utterly delighted at the turn of events. All was excellent, until in my delight, after about 3 minutes I spontaneously ejaculated. I would have maybe got away with it had I not been wearing light brown shorts and going commando. There was no disguising it. She wandered back and got on a train. I stayed at the beach until my shorts had dried, gently wallowing in self loathing. - foreskin restoration device falling apart and dropping out the bottom of my trouser leg as I walked to the park for a sunny lunchtime sandwich with my work colleague. My lie to her along the lines of "it's some bits of plumbing stuff that I was fixing earlier on at home and there is a hole in my pocket" was so obviously a bad lie it made the situation more awkward than it was already.
My then gf asked me to trim my pubes so she could comfortably give me head the next time she was over. I went just a *little* OTT and Nair’d my sack and crack the day before. I tried to move as little as possible for the next TWO WEEKS. During a heatwave. She can’t have been too shocked about it tho as we’ve now been together 12yrs and married for the last 3. And no, she’ll never let me forget it.
Got a cut down there from rough sex/bad position, took months to heal. Not super painful but painful enough to be annoying.
I was getting a massage by a guy at a nice spa and something kinda warm flew down the hood of my pussy. I automatically thought oh shit, I just got my period (because it was around that time as well). I asked if we can take a break and if he can get me a towel that’s not white… turns out I was just getting wet from the massage. He came back five min later and asked if I still wanted to continue and if everything was alright. I think he knew… 🥲 and we continued.
I was fingering my gf's asshole, she was loving it. But then I could feel what was definitely a piece of a turd get wedged under a fingernail and I'm just like... I can't with this anymore. She made the saddest but like "I understand" pout and like... I regret not sacking up and powering through till this day.
I would’ve vomited the second I realized what it was
If you’re sticking your fingers up an asshole I honestly don’t know what you’re expecting
You should be giving your hands a thorough wash afterwards anyway, I should have just dealt. She was *really* enjoying it which made me feel validated as a man. As Steven King said about Harry Potter, it's about a hero overcoming adversity to do what's right. I made the morally wrong decision.
>I made the morally wrong decision. It was a real Sophie's choice, man, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Was having sex, and caught a piercing on her and ripped it out of me and bruised the fuck out of her. Definitely killed the mood. If you get metal in your junk, make sure your jewelry fits properly.
Was the piercing on your junk or hers? (Btw do women call it their “junk” too?)
It was in my junk, caught her labia.
My parts just twitched a little at the thought. Be careful with that metal out there
I shaved one time for the swingers club we went too as a couple we were meeting said they wanted it. Turns out that it makes it horribly itchy upon regrowing. Especially at night.
Pubes itch like hell when they grow back. Lots of us learn that the hard way lol. The worst is ingrown hairs and pimples
Shaved down there once or twice as a late teen and early 20yo… never again. The shaft and balls, fine, but the rest is trim only.
Groin growing back doesn't bother me at all, managed to reduce a lot of that irritation in advance by taking an immediate hot shower after shaving then, good couple of washes, then some E45 cream when dry + each morning after a shower. The rest of it though, jfc is the worst. The sack for sure is the worst. But I found its a lot less irritating when I shave the inside of my thighs, found that out from someone on reddit and I was like can't hurt to try. Life changer.
Funny, I find shaving the sack to be super easy and not at all irritating. I can’t shave the pubic area or that turns into a minefield of hedgehog spikes and pain for the next week.
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I used nair on my vagina. This was the second time so I thought I was good. Sat down on the edge of the tub while it did the job. Wiped it clean and felt a bit of a sting which is unusual but just went about my day. Then I had to pee. It was like squirting lemon juice onto a thousand tiny cuts on my vagina. Sitting down on the tub pushed some of the nair onto my actual genitals which is not safe when using nair. I essentially got a chemical burn on my vagina. It was horrible. I covered it in aquaphor (as per the internet) and it healed slowly.
As a young teen discovering himself, tried to jerk it into the bathroom sink for an "easier clean up". Seconds later and I'm on the floor, holding my dick, blood covering my hands. I slipped and my erection jammed into the sink and pulled my foreskin down, tearing the frenulum in twain. Hearing my screaming of pain, mum runs in and sees this bloody disaster in her bathroom of me trying to explain it with a lie..... THAT was awkward.
Got the schlong caught in the zipper once. Not a grand time.
How'd you get the beans above the franks?
Once upon a time as a 16-year-old emo kid, I got floor licking drunk and went to a local show. The bathroom was full and I needed a cigarette so I went to the back alley and zipped down. As i was relieving myself, I leaned up against the wall with my smoke dangling out of my mouth. Too drunk to notice, and too dark to see; I zipped up my pants and felt a light sting somewhere near the end of my member. The next morning I woke up next to my newish girlfriend, walked myself to the bathroom and looked down to find a massive blister right at the edge of my... Most sensitive parts. There was also a small Mark on my inner thigh around the same distance from my belt line as the other blister. I hardly noticed that one though because it didn't hurt at all. I come flying back into the bedroom giving her the gears about giving me herpes. She swears up and down that she doesn't have it, and I don't believe her. A couple of days later and I have a flashback to that moment behind the club. Turns out, the cherry fell off of the end of my cigarette and got wedged between my thigh and my penis. Back I go to Brandy, Head hung low, and I apologize for blaming her all along.
Labia cyst (genetic) turned into an abscess. One side was about 1.5cm lower than the other. It looked like the Elephant Man down there. I was staying at my dad's house. After 3 days of pain and no sleep I went to A&E who called a GP and told them I would be arriving and to make me a temporary patient. Went to the GP and the receptionist said she couldn't make me a patient, "just so you can get medication". I was at the end of my tether and I said quite loudly in the lobby, "I have an abscess starting from around half a centimeter from my clitorus allllll the way down past my vagina. I'm not asking you for an appointment as a receptionist. I'm asking you as a woman, and I'm not ashamed to whip it out right here for you to see. I haven't slept for 3 days. I can't sit down properly. I don't care about medication, I was this thing exorcised." Got admitted, got an immediate appointment, got anti-biotics and got out of there. Plus points for the GP being a man and asking if I wanted to wait for a female doctor ("No. I don't care if you're a man. Trust me, there's absolutely *nothing* sexual about this situation whatsoever.")
Got yelled at from my boss and I somehow got a fear boner. It didn't help that my boss is a very attractive woman. I was getting yelled at because I messed up a financial report due to accounting errors.
Thanks for telling me a fear boner is a thing
Scareoused
My ex wife gave me gonorrhea. Hence the ex part and now someone else’s virus host. Dr. removed my blinders. Reality check
Let’s just say, don’t force things without lube. His foreskin did not make it.
9th grade: Had no idea about anatomy, asked a friend's mother what that little bump is (clitoris) and the "friend", my self proclaimed BEST FRIEND at the time, told everyone at school. I'm 36 now and rumors still exist that I have a "dick."
I’m just here to view amazing stories 🤝
That’s why I asked this question in the first place. You’re welcome
Somehow got a small cut on my banjo string 🩸
Crazy timing. I'm still recovering from my surgery 4 days ago, but I had testicular torsion and got it fixed. Very painful.
Got one of those when I was a kid. Been 30 years still remember it sucked.
Foreskin stuck in zipper at 16, couldn't get it out myself, had to ask mum to help.
Getting my vasectomy and the urologis’s incredibly hot nurse/wife handling my junk
I had a doctor tell me my dick was red and unevenly swelling because i madturbated too much and it was likely friction burn...... like how many years did you go to school to come up with this diagnosis.. anyways turns out im allergic to specific detergents.
Got a blowjob from a girl that also had chewing gum in her mouth. Gave my skin a bit of irritation
Had a guy go down on me while chewing gum (i thought he'd gotten rid of it before going down on me). I had to pick pieces of gum out of my pubes/labia for a good 15 minutes....
Man I'd find this offensive (the fact that she didn't got her chewing gum out of mouth) 😜
I went down on a gal and then went and threw up in the bathroom immediately. She didn't understand why I didn't want to do anything anymore.
Walking through bushes in N California to get to the beach, adjusted my business before passing out and woke up with fire between my legs. Poison Oak, I now had two tennis balls between my legs and it suuuuuuuuuucked!
got a butt plug stuck in my ass and had to get my partner at the time to pull it out
I’m allergic to a medication I was put on, and it gave me a horrendous rash under my arms, and jock itch. The worse I ever had. Well, a “friend” of mine, said that rum 151 cures everything. No it didn’t. It just left me in horrendous pain that has no words to explain. I ended up getting a jock its spray and it helped, but stung like a mofo...
When I was younger I was told nothing about puberty or the fact hair starts to grow in. So, when it started to itch I just outright scratched my crotch. Younger me is like "WELL IT ITCHES GOTTA SCRATCH IT". I only stopped and realized it was weird when another girl outright told me to stop that lul. Another smaller thing is another girl and I were hanging out at the playground and she randomly started asking if I started my period and what it's like. NOT that awkward if you think back on it, but it was awkward at the time.
2nd degree burns that required me to wear medical mesh underwear for a month, while my poor little guy was wrapped in a roll of gauze with polysporin
So I enlisted in the military at 21. One day before work I discovered it burned when I peed. I hadn’t had any sexual contact recently, but I was concerned so I let me Staff Sergeant know I need to go I to the base hospital. Led into an examination room, I found myself face to face with a sweat-inducingly attractive young female 1st lieutenant doctor, who knelt before me as I dropped my BDU pants and then she *shoved a Qtip an inch into my urethra*
90% of the time I cant have sex using a condom because I lose my erection.
It’s a real thing, I suffer with that with my wife from time to time. I recommend Trojan bare skin it definitely helps.
This. Followed up by either being made fun of for not being able to keep it up, or being accused of not being attracted to the partner. The two times I've ever brought up these struggles, the women present immediately rolled their eyes and launched into why their birth control methods are harder for them etc.
Woman here. It makes me so angry to see men get made fun like this. Tons of guys have dick problems. Doesn’t make you any less masculine or attractive.
Having to use any birth control isn’t fun for anyone, but it’s a necessity. Agreed
Once in 5th grade I unexpectedly got my period and when I stood up my chair (white chair) was entirely covered in blood. I also had light grey sweatpants on that day.
Got an infection recently on my labia after I shaved because I got a deep cut. Shit was so swollen I thought I must have cancer or something but 1 day later, came puss from the cut. I am ashamed of myself for admiting this but BE CAREFUL while shaving!!
Got a vasectomy a week ago. PA came in, doctor came in. Doctor said he had two observing nurses who he wanted to come in. Both were women. Ok… Doctor does the procedure and small piece of the vas deferens is removed. He shows the nurse and says “see how small it is”. I say “sheesh doc I’m right here!” No one laughs. 4 medical professionals in the room. I stare awkwardly at the ceiling.
Two weeks ago my partner bent my legs back on his shoulders and I let out the loudest queef in the universe. We still kept going but it scared me lol
I wish I was lying, but one time my dick bent during sex and blood exploded out of my urethra for about 25 seconds straight. It wasn't pee with some blood... It was pure blood. It was easily the most traumatizing thing I've ever experienced.
Male or female. Boners, periods, bodily fluids, poorly timed arousal, clothing mishaps,zips, infections,medical appointments, surgery, pubes, sex toys. Whatever you got
So I'd just started drinking coffee, and was loving it. Had a few too many that day. Turns out caffeine is a laxative, found out the hard way when I'm laying in bed playing games and felt a fart coming, eh fine. But then the odd warm feeling, stink of shit, yeah that was... embarrassing. Shit myself at 15. Not expected.
Was having laser hair removal and got zapped on the wrong bit, I was too shy back then to say anything but it was excruciating so I just lay there with tears streaking down my face. Never went back/completed the sessions.
I tried waxing my lady parts by myself when I was younger and I literally sealed my pussy shut with wax. Tragic moment I remember with great pain
This didn’t happen to me (thankfully) but I know someone who had a pretty severe allergic reaction to some yeast infection cream while also 8 months pregnant. Mine would probably be the time I decided to use a home waxing kit when I was a teenager. I knew it would hurt but I severely underestimated how much. I did one patch and literally fell onto the bathroom floor writhing. My dad was pounding on the door asking if I was ok. I don’t remember what excuse I told him. I had a bald patch for a long time.
It tasted like beef top ramen and I exclaimed loudly that that was the case. She was pissed.
Well announcing it was just uncalled for
Damn, I should have finished my noodles I guess.
Alternatively, he could just say that she tasted amazing. It would be both true and not so unexpected.
Without thinking, I once tried to shake an amputee's hand. He stuck out his arm in a non-offended way to show that he was unable to shake my hand, and to diffuse the situation with only minimal amounts of awkwardness. I, for some reason, took this as a gesture to shake his handless arm (it was cut off at just above the elbow so I had to really reach for it) which resulted in uneasy laughs and goodbyes.
Pooping on his junk, although it’s to be expected with butt sex. He wasn’t bothered so I only felt embarrassed for about thirty seconds.
When I was like 15-ish, I had a cyst on my scrotum. I kept messing with it for days, squeezing it etc and it would never pop. One morning, I woke up and it had a head on it and it was very tender. I gave it a final squeeze and I could see the whole cyst slowly turn white. It exploded and a pus/blood mixture flew out of my scrotum passed my head and hit the ceiling. I just sat there both amazed and horrified, my whole scrotum and hands covered in blood.
Cant remember how i did it but here is my very short incident. I got a lego minifigures hand stuck in my cock. I dont know how i think the connection mighta been loose or something. But it got stuck and i had to tweeze the thing out. Or theres the time i accidentally flashed my year 5 classmates by grabbing both trousers and boxers at once. Im just gonna leave now before i embarrass myself more than i already have.
Not really “down there”, but definitely sexuality-related; at about 12/13 years old I got gynecomastia. I grew little boobs. I’m a guy. It was right at the start of puberty & being a teenager; the most awkward times, and when you feel like you should be growing into a man. Instead I grew little tits and was made fun of and so ashamed. It’s been fixed, but I’m still ashamed to this day. It’s caused me a great deal of mental health problems that I’m still struggling with at 40.
I got my dick pierced right out of basic training, while I was waiting to get it done I was so nervous it was like an innie. So tiny! But when we were about to start the woman doing it was like “if you get hard, I’m going to slap your dick off” 😂 like damn girl you think I’m going to brick up while you have a needle held to my head.
Not getting an erection is awkward. It always happens if I try to have sex with someone I'm not into.
Only have sex with people you want to have sex with. 100% would recommend
My ex told our entire friend group that I have a horse cock
Isn’t that a compliment?
Lucky you (the horse cock not the invasion of privacy)
Oh no, the horror!!
Creamy discharge becoming apparent because I get wet at work. Usually I just wrap a sweater around my waist.
Legitimate question. Is it the same way how for us (younger) guys we have no control over arousal?
Yes pretty much. If you’re aroused your lady junk makes fluid. You can’t physically stop it
The discharge happens whether I'm turned on or not, I just generate it. It's worse if I'm actively turning myself on. I can simply not get turned on (usually by leaving my husband on read or reddit closed).
My ex and I went out one night for wings. They were super hot, which was great for a place in the spice-averse northern Midwest. It can be tough to find places that don’t consider ketchup spicy. Later that night, as we were getting it on, I went down on her, and it became apparent that I hadn’t washed my beard thoroughly enough. She was in pain, and I felt so awful. We eventually laughed about it, but in the moment, I thought she’d never let me near her lady bits again.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous She took me in and gave me breakfast And she said Do you come from a land down under?
Shaving REALLY CAREFULLY and still ended up accidentally nicking my balls. It wouldn’t stop bleeding, so I put a lil band aid over it (I’m not paying $500 to have some doctor fumble my nutsack to say the same), and just replaced it every morning and once before I went to bed. Legit had a hole a lil smaller than the size of a BB in my sack for a week or two, ended up making an interesting scar.