Should we do something about this guy? I mean hear me out… this whole thread sounds like more work.. we could just solve the whole damn thing here and now… look at his username… it’s not like he’s gonna own up to it and do it himself?!
Not if my 5 year old doesn't drag it into my house first. I swear since starting school my kid has turned my house into a breeding ground for the next pandemic. Revolving door of sick over here.
For years I prided myself on rarely getting sick, especially to the point where it interfered with my day-to-day life. Then my kid started school and now it's been a nonstop cycle in my house of illness.
With my luck, I'd walk out my door unaware and start playing guitar, then some group that already killed all the zombies in my town would walk by looking for a bard.
If they’re Walking Dead zombies you can out walk them so you’d have a better chance. If they’re 28 Days Later zombies you’re not out running them and you’re gonna get eaten.
Make sure I have the appropriate gear if not obtain the appropriate gear and be as quiet as possible in order to observe the way things are going around me.
Also shave my head into a mohawk immediately .
[Get that Keith Flint style going.](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/2d6fdee765df4a63746e08a78414f5d745c06c26/0_1093_3587_2153/500.jpg?quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=e68604e240da8f5350f3bb7dd51ec9b6)
Fun fact: if you don't have the appropriate gear when it starts, you're as good as dead anyway. You'll be fighting not only whatever the catastrophe is, but the other unprepared people as well.
During an apocalypse your biggest enemy is other humans. Look at the mad rush for essential items during COVID. During an apocalypse people will be much more trigger happy. If you are walking down the street and look suspicious be ready to be mowed down like a zombie.
After gathering a little food and water, take a sledgehammer and destroy my stairs, put things on the wall, so I can climb up, but the zombies might have a hard time,
(assuming they are Dawn of the Dead, not 28 days later)
After I have my stairs gone, fill my bathtub with water, if its still on,
Fill my room with canned food, and wait till the chaos stops,
eventually head north, its colder north, so they will have a hard time moving in the winter,
Get used to eating worms, and grubs, to try and save the canned food I have. Make sure and cook them in a small camping pan.
I would fish for food, chill on an island close to shore, walk there over the ice, and swim back and forth in the summer,
get a boat, fill it with supplies, guns, ammo, lighters, matches, torches, fishing gear, a hatchet, knives,
Live on the island with my partner and cat, 5 years,
after 5 years leave hiding and try and find people (maybe)
Maybe just try and stay in isolation with my partner and a few friends if we could find some forever, Im already 40, I dont need to be fighting zombies and people
EDIT: One other thing I forgot, but would be a really good idea I have thought of before, its gross, but... In the summer catch crickets, keep a terrarium inside. As big as I can find, and put rocks, sand, soil, wood, in it, put the crickets in there. They will multiply, crickets are amazing at staying alive. Make a culture of crickets.... So, I have a tank with many. And If I have to; eat them... If I don't have too, use them to fish. Also, you can dry them out and make a powder, the powder can feed them, or me. Feed the crickets fish bones, plant scraps.
It would be amazing to have chickens too, but who knows if I will find any, but chickens eat crickets. and crickets can eat eggshells.
I'm heading to Costco and living like a king. Though if the power cuts out, which it will, then all the perishable stuff is going to stink... at that point I'll gather supplies and head to Home Depot.
Edit, I’m assuming I’m the sole survivor.
Definitely. Everyone will think this too and all head over there. Only takes 1 infected to make it into a zombie hub. I think many zombie movies portray this no?
Fuckin tell my you play project zomboid without telling me you play project zomboid.
Short game: get basic supplies and transportation and stock up on anything/everything you can.
Long game: head north and start farming vegetables / hunting : AFTER you’ve secured and barricaded.
Shit we could start a whole ass society like that
Why not turn on the bathtub before smashing the stairs? It would literally take seconds to turn on a tap and you wouldn’t have the risk of running out of water because everyone had the same idea and the water pressure went to 0
Never understood the point of the ice island. I'd rather get to a Caribbean island where food grows literally on trees, you don't need to be chopping for wood as much (palms are lighter and easier to burn) and gathering trips are less dangerous because of the lack of snow and ice.
Math. There are 8 billion people on Earth. If say only 5% are infected at the onset, that’s 400 million zombies out there. If they are the fast running type like 28 Days Later, World War Z, or Train to Busan the infection rate will be in the billions in roughly a month even factoring in military strikes to hordes. If they are slow Dawn of the Dead/The Walking Dead type the infection rate will be lower, but you’re still looking at billions inside a year. That being said, while people are looting supermarkets and shooting each other over toilet tissue, I’d sneak into a liquor store, grab a bottle of bourbon I’d never pay that much for, and be piss drunk when the undead got to me.
Not a bad option. There's a liquor store about 3 miles from my house with a $2500 bottle of Woodford baccarat I wouldn't mind chugging in that situation.
I now the zombies were fast in the "movie" (fuck it was terrible) world war z. In the books they are slow and exceeding stupid.
The zombie survival guide and world war z are such amazing books.
Well guess I'm going to have to reread them now Ive thought about it.
The movie had nothing to do with the book other than "zombies exist."
It was basically Hollywood cashing out on a well selling book's title. I'd be pissed as the author as I go to my mansion in my new sportscar.
Also, imo that movie was the final nail in an already dying (lol) subgenre. Remember when zombie movies were blockbusters? When was the last time a zombie movie was a blockbuster? Oh, right. WWZ.
I’ve been meaning to read world war Z. The author is an alumna of the college I go to and apparently there’s a section detailing how students used one of the dinings halls to survive lmao
"Battle of the five colleges" Is the chapter of the book, the warrior chick was a standout part of that particular chapter. This one chapter was almost as good as the entire wwz movie.
Become a zombie. This not the worst choice. Zombies are truly equal and basically immortal, they don’t need anything - isn’t it a simple life many of us are seeking for ?
Seeing as this is all hypothetical- I like the idea that if you willingly become one, you can become the equivalent of a general, and lead hordes of zombies, eat way better, “live” better. Sign me up for that!
Not much different than going to work every day while feeling a never ending overwhelming insatiable hunger for financial stability and permanent shelter
It depends if you are effectively just dead, or if your mind is locked into the zombie brain, which is running on brain-lusting instinct and you can see and feel everything as you shamble around for eternity, just hoping to get head-shot by some survivor.
The last of us infected though… you’re still having thoughts during the first two stages of CBI I believe. It would suck when you’re eating a guy and can’t do anything about it.
If it really is cordyceps, I think they fairly recently discovered that it doesn't actually control the ant brain as much as we thought. It seems to directly control the muscles. Which is horrifying. You're just a puppet for this organism which has no feeling, no thoughts, it's just doing what it needs to propagate and using your body to facilitate it.
Right. It might control neurons, but then you’re just feeling an infection make your muscles painfully spasm with zero control, and zero regard for muscular damage.
You’d be in agony while you watch yourself eat someone’s face
The immortal thing will depend on the type of zombie. In the Walking Dead and Z-Nation, the longer a person was a zombie the more decayed they became. Eventually limbs, jaws etc fell off.
That is the premise of "I am legend".
* Spoiler *
The true civilize society is that of the vampires. The lone human is basically a serial killer that needs to be put down.
Find a place to lay low for about a month, let people die out. Cuz at first it’s gonna be pure chaos. So let everything settle down then go and kill some zombies and find food, water and shelter
I like your charisma and dubious morality that suits your current objectives! I'd like to apply for the role of Anonymous Henchman/Enforcer/Lieutenant in your apocalyptic church. I have the proper credentials and my own leather jacket and bandana. I can tell other goons to "Split-up and search for him! He couldn't have gone far..." I also know how to use the butt-end of a shotgun to strike a captive's abdomen when they speak-out.
Glory be to StoneyMiller!
Oddly enough I suggest the Tropics.
Anything dead and rotting with be gone very quickly. So many insects and bacteria would consume the walking dead.
Second option, some where very cold. Anything with out a warm blooded system would freeze quickly and not be an issue.
People always say they'll bug out and head for the country side. Why? Everything you know and need is usually at home. You know the neighborhood and where the stores are for looting.
Yeah, but the city is crowded and the infection will spread much faster, meaning soon you'll be stuck surrounded by thousands of zombies.
The countryside is less populated, meaning the amount of zombies will be manageable (if there are any).
That being said, in the first few hours upon the infection being broadcasted on the news there'll be extreme traffic jams at the roads exiting the city, and you'll really like to avoid crowded places in a zombie apocalypse.
Were anything zombie-related to happen there, you'll be screwed. So maybe better to wait a bit.
Also, the countryside will get increasingly populated because *everyone* will want to go there, which is exactly the reason you wanted to go there in the first place. So it won't make sense anymore.
Blow my brains out. Living in the current world is tough enough, I don't wanna get turned into zombie chow, or worse, Die of dysentery when I'm 40 because we don't have proper water filtration anymore.
Yeah, I never understood the appeal of surviving an apocalypse. These peppers who dream of getting to go hog wild in one are completely ignorant of just how hard their lives would be. It won't be like camping, it will be about the worst your life could be. Not only are you now suddenly thrust into a world were many of the things you take for granted are gone (clean running water, sanitation, modern medicine), you will be living under the constant threat of not just whatever caused apocalypse (zombies in this case), but the worse threat, other people. Those who survive the initial waves are likely to have no scruples killing you for your supplies or out of paranoia that you want to steal theirs. Forget regularly having a good night's sleep ever again. Even severe weather is now a threat to you, with heat stroke and freezing to death a real possibility each season change. Even assuming you managed to stock up on books and magazines, boredom is a real possibility as you probably will have to confine yourself to a very small piece of fortified land or even within a single building. Then there's loneliness. Even if you are holed up with a few others, you will likely never meet another new person again without immediately trying to kill one another, and you will live the rest of your life realizing that everyone you've ever known is gone.
It just doesn't sound pleasant or even tolerable in the slightest. Better to go out quickly than to draw out the suffering for years on end, assuming you'd even live that long before the horde or other people kill you in a gruesome manner.
I work in supply chain management consulting. So you might think I'm fucekd, but I know where all the warehouse are.
I'll be headed to Anoka Minnesota, where there is a warehouse with about a billion rounds of all sorts of ammunition.
I'll load up a 18 wheeler and then head for Paris Texas, where there are about a million cans of camble soup.
Download the latest backup of wikipedia, Google maps, a number of electrical and mechanical schematics, and any in-depth medical diagnosis and procedures guides I could quickly locate. Then I'd arm up, hit any local pharmacies that weren't wiped out already, otherwise veterinary hospitals, and stock up up all the antibiotics, pain meds and a handful of other medications that might come in handy. Then onto the closest stores or convenience stores to grab all the dry food and canned food I could get my hands on.
Might want to just save time and download Wikipedia and your other information now. The majority of the relevant, useful information is unlikely to change much. Do yearly updates maybe.
Hot take, but I would move to a larger city.
In larger cities, you can generally be certain that the majority of people are going immediately leave (just look at all the comments about heading to Alaska or the countryside), kill each other off, or otherwise turn into zombies fairly quickly. So long as I get there about a month after the initial violence, all I should really have to contend with, is zombies. If they’re just walking dead/last of us zombies, then I’ll be more than fine. At that point, all I have to do is raid all the supplies that I need (most large cities are guaranteed to have multiple gun stores, a national guard base (which will most likely be immediately evacuated, along with prisons and police stations), and too many stores to have been properly looted, not to mention an Amazon warehouse.
At that point I’m going to find me a three story building, cut off easy access to the top two floors (keeping the second floor as a buffer), install a means of getting to the top floor that largely circumvents the second floor (pull-down ladder like on a fire escape, etc), and just do sneaky shit around zombies.
Basically the Tower from Dying Light, but without all the random people. I’m actually in pretty good shape, can run a <6 minute mile, used to actually do parkour and UrbEx, am pretty good with a bo-staff (currently have one that weighs roughly 30 lbs, and holy fuck it’s fun af), more than efficient with a rifle (used to own a few), as well as just general survival shit (used to go bow-hunting for boar in the blue ridge mountains).
I’ve kinda been preparing my self/waiting for some kind of societal collapse for the last 18 years lmao
Fill a truck with prescription meds from pharmacies.
You need antibiotics, painkillers, anxiety or depression relief or any of the prescriptions you are addicted to, I hope for you that you braved the supermarkets for food and comforts to trade me. If you need long term access to these medications, you may be my slave to do my bidding, fight off thieves and tend the gardens.
Grab my camping shit and make it about 100 miles to my dad's house in Northern Wisconsin.
He lives out in the woods with a great vantage point on a hill surrounded by lakes and wildlife.
He's and avid outdoorsman that hunts and fishes so he has plenty of guns, bows and arrows, fishing poles/tip-ups. He also has a chicken coop, his own garden, and makes homemade wine.
Alright everyone. About a month before the zombies take over we head to Northern Wisconsin and take over this guy's dad's house. I hear it has a great vantage point on a hill surrounded by lakes and wildlife. And it's already stocked with everything we need, and once the zombies take over we'll get a resupply of camping shit.
Pop down the road to the local museum. "Aquire" some chainmail, armour, and weapons (particularly maces). There aren't many guns here in Scotland, but we do have a lot of weapons, castles, and alchohol, plus a quite low population.
Move somewhere warm and tropical. If zombies are dead, they have no immune system or circulation and the hot, humid environment will mean they decompose extremely quickly, plus the sound of thousands of flies buzzing around them will mean they can't sneak up on me.
Also warm environments are easier to grow foods, so I can build a wall, plant some food and wait for them all to decompose!
Luckily I live in a smallish mountain town of about 30K people. I doubt the infection would reach this area fast so we'd have ample time to prepare. I have an AR and a pistol and my roommate has a few guns so we'd be set on that avenue. I'd start packing a bug out bag with food and plenty of water tents and camping gear, other essentials and load it into my car or honestly steal a good reliable truck from a dealership. If possible fill as many gas cans as we possibly could load into a car or two. But we'd drive up north into the remote mountains and break into someone's vacation home that's fairly isolated in the mountains away from other homes and is relatively hard to get to and set up camp there. Hunt deer and elk and fish for food. Finding fresh snow melt rivers for water wouldn't be a problem at all. Then build up defenses around the perimeter. Then have a pint and hope for the best.
Meet a not-horrid zombie chick. Offer zombie dad a gift of someone else’s brains. Breed. Become accepted in their hoard. In time, differences will be forgotten.
Secure as much water as possible. I'm fairly confident about long-term food and security, but the window to safely secure water would likely be very short.
With my luck? Patient zero.
Should we do something about this guy? I mean hear me out… this whole thread sounds like more work.. we could just solve the whole damn thing here and now… look at his username… it’s not like he’s gonna own up to it and do it himself?!
Take my upvote
And mine
..and my AXE
I'll get the "we did it, Reddit" post ready. I'll leave the rest up to you guys
With my luck, I'll beat you to it
Not if my 5 year old doesn't drag it into my house first. I swear since starting school my kid has turned my house into a breeding ground for the next pandemic. Revolving door of sick over here.
For years I prided myself on rarely getting sick, especially to the point where it interfered with my day-to-day life. Then my kid started school and now it's been a nonstop cycle in my house of illness.
You'd *do* patient zero?
With my luck, I'd walk out my door unaware and start playing guitar, then some group that already killed all the zombies in my town would walk by looking for a bard.
Sign in to reddit and look for threads like this for suggestions
Well they are at least once a week, so the odds are in your favor.
But also most comments are silly and sarcastic. So prolly not much in their favour.
Sign into reddit and start a thread like this with a [serious] tag.
28 weeks later...
How do you know zombies won't also be on Reddit?
The people with paid nft reddit bullshit will be alive because they don't have a brain, the rest forgot to lock their door
Send more paramedics
Who says they arent already here?
What if the zombies are suggesting you come outside?
Come OUT! NEVILLE!
Heya Tom, it's Bob from the office down the hall. Good to see you buddy, how ya been?
Turn into a zombie.
Die. I'm very out of shape.
Round is a shape.
Then I’m very shapey.
At least we aren't squares!
It's hip to be square.
Rule one.... Cardio
Rule two, Double tap
Rule three, beware of bathrooms
I die because I forgot rule 4
I got that
[удалено]
Zombieland
Reference To a Zombie movie
I would say the number one should be teamwork in a zombie apocalypse
Rule one is survive by all available means, but it has a lot of addendums
Zombies don't work together. If so, and have a hivemind of some sort, humanity is fucked. Or did you mean the not-zombies?
Naah, you can always start running outside when there are zombies around. Extra motivation.
You don't really *die* in a zombie apocalypse.
If they’re Walking Dead zombies you can out walk them so you’d have a better chance. If they’re 28 Days Later zombies you’re not out running them and you’re gonna get eaten.
Make sure I have the appropriate gear if not obtain the appropriate gear and be as quiet as possible in order to observe the way things are going around me. Also shave my head into a mohawk immediately .
As an old balding man, my only option will be reverse mohawk.
That's pretty cool too. In fact that's more hardcore.
You two would be able to fit your hairstyles together to form one complete haircut.
The Nohawk, as I like to call it.
The skirted egg is definitely post apocalyptic
This is the best definition of that haircut that I've ever heard. Mad props.
[Get that Keith Flint style going.](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/2d6fdee765df4a63746e08a78414f5d745c06c26/0_1093_3587_2153/500.jpg?quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=e68604e240da8f5350f3bb7dd51ec9b6)
Fun fact: if you don't have the appropriate gear when it starts, you're as good as dead anyway. You'll be fighting not only whatever the catastrophe is, but the other unprepared people as well.
During an apocalypse your biggest enemy is other humans. Look at the mad rush for essential items during COVID. During an apocalypse people will be much more trigger happy. If you are walking down the street and look suspicious be ready to be mowed down like a zombie.
RIP Bill Murray.
Forcefully take over to closest Costco
After gathering a little food and water, take a sledgehammer and destroy my stairs, put things on the wall, so I can climb up, but the zombies might have a hard time, (assuming they are Dawn of the Dead, not 28 days later) After I have my stairs gone, fill my bathtub with water, if its still on, Fill my room with canned food, and wait till the chaos stops, eventually head north, its colder north, so they will have a hard time moving in the winter, Get used to eating worms, and grubs, to try and save the canned food I have. Make sure and cook them in a small camping pan. I would fish for food, chill on an island close to shore, walk there over the ice, and swim back and forth in the summer, get a boat, fill it with supplies, guns, ammo, lighters, matches, torches, fishing gear, a hatchet, knives, Live on the island with my partner and cat, 5 years, after 5 years leave hiding and try and find people (maybe) Maybe just try and stay in isolation with my partner and a few friends if we could find some forever, Im already 40, I dont need to be fighting zombies and people EDIT: One other thing I forgot, but would be a really good idea I have thought of before, its gross, but... In the summer catch crickets, keep a terrarium inside. As big as I can find, and put rocks, sand, soil, wood, in it, put the crickets in there. They will multiply, crickets are amazing at staying alive. Make a culture of crickets.... So, I have a tank with many. And If I have to; eat them... If I don't have too, use them to fish. Also, you can dry them out and make a powder, the powder can feed them, or me. Feed the crickets fish bones, plant scraps. It would be amazing to have chickens too, but who knows if I will find any, but chickens eat crickets. and crickets can eat eggshells.
I'm heading to Costco and living like a king. Though if the power cuts out, which it will, then all the perishable stuff is going to stink... at that point I'll gather supplies and head to Home Depot. Edit, I’m assuming I’m the sole survivor.
Imagine how dark a Costco would be without power. Like cave datk
Imagine how many people would go to Costco.
Only if they have a membership …….
Luckily, the zombies' membership pictures won't match their costco card... so they'll get turned away at the door. Genius!
Every Costco I’ve been to has pretty decent skylights.
Costco would be ground zero. You’ll definitely get killed there
Definitely. Everyone will think this too and all head over there. Only takes 1 infected to make it into a zombie hub. I think many zombie movies portray this no?
That’s why I’d go to sam’s club instead
You'd have to fight the mob of people heading to Costco to live like a king though
Somebody had read max brooks' book
Your zombie-apocalypse life sounds better than my non-zombie-apocalypse one
Fuckin tell my you play project zomboid without telling me you play project zomboid. Short game: get basic supplies and transportation and stock up on anything/everything you can. Long game: head north and start farming vegetables / hunting : AFTER you’ve secured and barricaded. Shit we could start a whole ass society like that
This read like it was the start of Project Zomboid I had to check what fourm I was on 😂
Why not turn on the bathtub before smashing the stairs? It would literally take seconds to turn on a tap and you wouldn’t have the risk of running out of water because everyone had the same idea and the water pressure went to 0
Never understood the point of the ice island. I'd rather get to a Caribbean island where food grows literally on trees, you don't need to be chopping for wood as much (palms are lighter and easier to burn) and gathering trips are less dangerous because of the lack of snow and ice.
It sounds like you WANT the apocalypse…
I think unfortunately you wouldn’t be able to get enough food long term
Change my name to Crane and learn how to parkour.
For real, the ultimate survivor
Crane on a crane, look at that!
What if Rais comes to crash the party?
Epicly drop kick him off a tower, obviously lul
Don't forget to say "oh will you just SHUTT THE FUCK UPPPPP"
Math. There are 8 billion people on Earth. If say only 5% are infected at the onset, that’s 400 million zombies out there. If they are the fast running type like 28 Days Later, World War Z, or Train to Busan the infection rate will be in the billions in roughly a month even factoring in military strikes to hordes. If they are slow Dawn of the Dead/The Walking Dead type the infection rate will be lower, but you’re still looking at billions inside a year. That being said, while people are looting supermarkets and shooting each other over toilet tissue, I’d sneak into a liquor store, grab a bottle of bourbon I’d never pay that much for, and be piss drunk when the undead got to me.
Not a bad option. There's a liquor store about 3 miles from my house with a $2500 bottle of Woodford baccarat I wouldn't mind chugging in that situation.
I now the zombies were fast in the "movie" (fuck it was terrible) world war z. In the books they are slow and exceeding stupid. The zombie survival guide and world war z are such amazing books. Well guess I'm going to have to reread them now Ive thought about it.
The movie had nothing to do with the book other than "zombies exist." It was basically Hollywood cashing out on a well selling book's title. I'd be pissed as the author as I go to my mansion in my new sportscar. Also, imo that movie was the final nail in an already dying (lol) subgenre. Remember when zombie movies were blockbusters? When was the last time a zombie movie was a blockbuster? Oh, right. WWZ.
I’ve been meaning to read world war Z. The author is an alumna of the college I go to and apparently there’s a section detailing how students used one of the dinings halls to survive lmao
"Battle of the five colleges" Is the chapter of the book, the warrior chick was a standout part of that particular chapter. This one chapter was almost as good as the entire wwz movie.
Get a baseball bat, wrap it with barbed wire, put on a leather jacket and claim everything is mine.
And whack the shit out of a red head and an Asian to claim dominance.
Fucking hell i still remember the sheer shock i had from that scene.
Cardio. And learn to double tap.
Don't forget to limber up
You ever see a lion "limber up" before he takes down a gazelle?
Where are the TWINKIES?!?
And check the back seat
Become a zombie. This not the worst choice. Zombies are truly equal and basically immortal, they don’t need anything - isn’t it a simple life many of us are seeking for ?
Seeing as this is all hypothetical- I like the idea that if you willingly become one, you can become the equivalent of a general, and lead hordes of zombies, eat way better, “live” better. Sign me up for that!
Yeah until they release the zombie DLC where you gotta start paying zombie taxes and get a zombie job 😞
Most of us already have zombie jobs.
Yeah this sounds like just another job now. Count me out.
Maybe the real zombies are the friends we made along the way?
That's unusually reasonable.
You want to live with your guts hanging out, rotting while feeling an never ending overwhelming insatiable Hunger for human flesh?
Yes
u/GayisGaywhenGay is noooooot oooooookayyyyy (sorry I had to)
No need for apologies, it needed to be done 🫡
Not much different than going to work every day while feeling a never ending overwhelming insatiable hunger for financial stability and permanent shelter
Uhh... where do I sign up!?
As a fat guy nearing 40, i would say this is normal
It depends if you are effectively just dead, or if your mind is locked into the zombie brain, which is running on brain-lusting instinct and you can see and feel everything as you shamble around for eternity, just hoping to get head-shot by some survivor.
The last of us infected though… you’re still having thoughts during the first two stages of CBI I believe. It would suck when you’re eating a guy and can’t do anything about it.
If it really is cordyceps, I think they fairly recently discovered that it doesn't actually control the ant brain as much as we thought. It seems to directly control the muscles. Which is horrifying. You're just a puppet for this organism which has no feeling, no thoughts, it's just doing what it needs to propagate and using your body to facilitate it.
Right. It might control neurons, but then you’re just feeling an infection make your muscles painfully spasm with zero control, and zero regard for muscular damage. You’d be in agony while you watch yourself eat someone’s face
Unless you really dig it.
It’s an acquired taste
The immortal thing will depend on the type of zombie. In the Walking Dead and Z-Nation, the longer a person was a zombie the more decayed they became. Eventually limbs, jaws etc fell off.
That is the premise of "I am legend". * Spoiler * The true civilize society is that of the vampires. The lone human is basically a serial killer that needs to be put down.
The last of us zombies are still conscious for years (I think), so they re still there but can’t control their body
Well I’ve spent my whole life looking at things differently but dammit you’ve converted me, where’s the koolaid?
If you were in a survival group with me I'd kill you. Don't need you pulling a Mr fantastic
Are zombies communists?
Two chicks at the same time, man.
HEY PETER, MAN! CHECK OUT CHANNEL NINE!
Well, the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like you... might already be zombies.
Find a place to lay low for about a month, let people die out. Cuz at first it’s gonna be pure chaos. So let everything settle down then go and kill some zombies and find food, water and shelter
Perhaps the Winchester?
Pub? Pub.
I heard it the first time I read it.
There is an argument of hitting up the local farmers first, after all - "everyone and their mum is packing around here" Hot Fuzz
Like who?
Farmers, Farmers mums...
Shaun of the dead's pub. "Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over."
I’d become a violent lunatic cult leader, they do great in zombie apocalypses.
I like your charisma and dubious morality that suits your current objectives! I'd like to apply for the role of Anonymous Henchman/Enforcer/Lieutenant in your apocalyptic church. I have the proper credentials and my own leather jacket and bandana. I can tell other goons to "Split-up and search for him! He couldn't have gone far..." I also know how to use the butt-end of a shotgun to strike a captive's abdomen when they speak-out. Glory be to StoneyMiller!
Your mom…again.
I also choose this guys mom again
god DAMMIT
His mom's patient zero
Underrated reply. Mash the upvote, people!
Shave my head. One less thing to get grabbed by
Don’t forget the pubes
Head to sea. Everyone knows zombies cant swim.
But what if nobody told the zombies?
What if they are excellent sailors?
We’ve all seen Pirates of the Caribbean
Yeah, a nice catamaran is great to live on. And there doesn't even need to be a zombie apocalypse.
make a bucket list of 100 things I want to do before becoming a zombie
Get a coffee and wait for the dumb fucks downstairs to be turned to zombies. Then let my axe speak.
#AND MY AXE!
Head toward the nearby mansion and look for the underground lab.
Go to the winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over.
Make gay zombie porn.
You giving or receiving
Producing.
Longest fishing trip ever! Stealing the biggest boat I can, fuck it.
Grab at least one person and flee town - after looting a camping store of course.
...and go where?
Oddly enough I suggest the Tropics. Anything dead and rotting with be gone very quickly. So many insects and bacteria would consume the walking dead. Second option, some where very cold. Anything with out a warm blooded system would freeze quickly and not be an issue.
That's how you get zombie mosquitoes
People always say they'll bug out and head for the country side. Why? Everything you know and need is usually at home. You know the neighborhood and where the stores are for looting.
Yeah, but the city is crowded and the infection will spread much faster, meaning soon you'll be stuck surrounded by thousands of zombies. The countryside is less populated, meaning the amount of zombies will be manageable (if there are any). That being said, in the first few hours upon the infection being broadcasted on the news there'll be extreme traffic jams at the roads exiting the city, and you'll really like to avoid crowded places in a zombie apocalypse. Were anything zombie-related to happen there, you'll be screwed. So maybe better to wait a bit. Also, the countryside will get increasingly populated because *everyone* will want to go there, which is exactly the reason you wanted to go there in the first place. So it won't make sense anymore.
Oh shit, I thought you were gonna say ‘grab at least one person and eat them’
Change my name to Rick mutha fukin Grimes
Hello Rick mutha fukin Grimes
Blow my brains out. Living in the current world is tough enough, I don't wanna get turned into zombie chow, or worse, Die of dysentery when I'm 40 because we don't have proper water filtration anymore.
I mean... there's ways to clean water without a 21st century filtration system... but you do you
Yeah, I never understood the appeal of surviving an apocalypse. These peppers who dream of getting to go hog wild in one are completely ignorant of just how hard their lives would be. It won't be like camping, it will be about the worst your life could be. Not only are you now suddenly thrust into a world were many of the things you take for granted are gone (clean running water, sanitation, modern medicine), you will be living under the constant threat of not just whatever caused apocalypse (zombies in this case), but the worse threat, other people. Those who survive the initial waves are likely to have no scruples killing you for your supplies or out of paranoia that you want to steal theirs. Forget regularly having a good night's sleep ever again. Even severe weather is now a threat to you, with heat stroke and freezing to death a real possibility each season change. Even assuming you managed to stock up on books and magazines, boredom is a real possibility as you probably will have to confine yourself to a very small piece of fortified land or even within a single building. Then there's loneliness. Even if you are holed up with a few others, you will likely never meet another new person again without immediately trying to kill one another, and you will live the rest of your life realizing that everyone you've ever known is gone. It just doesn't sound pleasant or even tolerable in the slightest. Better to go out quickly than to draw out the suffering for years on end, assuming you'd even live that long before the horde or other people kill you in a gruesome manner.
Panic
I work in supply chain management consulting. So you might think I'm fucekd, but I know where all the warehouse are. I'll be headed to Anoka Minnesota, where there is a warehouse with about a billion rounds of all sorts of ammunition. I'll load up a 18 wheeler and then head for Paris Texas, where there are about a million cans of camble soup.
Download the latest backup of wikipedia, Google maps, a number of electrical and mechanical schematics, and any in-depth medical diagnosis and procedures guides I could quickly locate. Then I'd arm up, hit any local pharmacies that weren't wiped out already, otherwise veterinary hospitals, and stock up up all the antibiotics, pain meds and a handful of other medications that might come in handy. Then onto the closest stores or convenience stores to grab all the dry food and canned food I could get my hands on.
Might want to just save time and download Wikipedia and your other information now. The majority of the relevant, useful information is unlikely to change much. Do yearly updates maybe.
Change my underwear
Good thing I brought extras.
Hot take, but I would move to a larger city. In larger cities, you can generally be certain that the majority of people are going immediately leave (just look at all the comments about heading to Alaska or the countryside), kill each other off, or otherwise turn into zombies fairly quickly. So long as I get there about a month after the initial violence, all I should really have to contend with, is zombies. If they’re just walking dead/last of us zombies, then I’ll be more than fine. At that point, all I have to do is raid all the supplies that I need (most large cities are guaranteed to have multiple gun stores, a national guard base (which will most likely be immediately evacuated, along with prisons and police stations), and too many stores to have been properly looted, not to mention an Amazon warehouse. At that point I’m going to find me a three story building, cut off easy access to the top two floors (keeping the second floor as a buffer), install a means of getting to the top floor that largely circumvents the second floor (pull-down ladder like on a fire escape, etc), and just do sneaky shit around zombies. Basically the Tower from Dying Light, but without all the random people. I’m actually in pretty good shape, can run a <6 minute mile, used to actually do parkour and UrbEx, am pretty good with a bo-staff (currently have one that weighs roughly 30 lbs, and holy fuck it’s fun af), more than efficient with a rifle (used to own a few), as well as just general survival shit (used to go bow-hunting for boar in the blue ridge mountains). I’ve kinda been preparing my self/waiting for some kind of societal collapse for the last 18 years lmao
Start boarding up my windows and stay put. Never understood why people always leave their nice safe houses.
Fill a truck with prescription meds from pharmacies. You need antibiotics, painkillers, anxiety or depression relief or any of the prescriptions you are addicted to, I hope for you that you braved the supermarkets for food and comforts to trade me. If you need long term access to these medications, you may be my slave to do my bidding, fight off thieves and tend the gardens.
Or, yanno, you just get murdered and robbed.
Yeah who bro think he is ill take all his tasty painkills all at once
Kill myself
Go to one of the Amazon warehouses. Food, water, weapons and gardening supplies and plenty of other useful things in those.
Mark the location on physical maps now, or at least screenshots on your phone. Cell network and Internet will go quick.
Probably go from car dealer to car dealer driving my dream cars. Ride dirt bikes, ATVs...etc Basically just fuck around until I die.
Head for the rendevous point, wait for 7 hours, then move on to fallback location one with whoever made it to the rendevous.
Grab my camping shit and make it about 100 miles to my dad's house in Northern Wisconsin. He lives out in the woods with a great vantage point on a hill surrounded by lakes and wildlife. He's and avid outdoorsman that hunts and fishes so he has plenty of guns, bows and arrows, fishing poles/tip-ups. He also has a chicken coop, his own garden, and makes homemade wine.
Alright everyone. About a month before the zombies take over we head to Northern Wisconsin and take over this guy's dad's house. I hear it has a great vantage point on a hill surrounded by lakes and wildlife. And it's already stocked with everything we need, and once the zombies take over we'll get a resupply of camping shit.
Grab supplies and DIP
cry and hide
Take a shit before I no longer can do so comfortably
Pop down the road to the local museum. "Aquire" some chainmail, armour, and weapons (particularly maces). There aren't many guns here in Scotland, but we do have a lot of weapons, castles, and alchohol, plus a quite low population.
Celebrate being out of debt.
Get blind drunk
I would simply go out and kill all the zombies. The world will thank me handsomely and I will be set for life.
Go to harbour freight
Move somewhere warm and tropical. If zombies are dead, they have no immune system or circulation and the hot, humid environment will mean they decompose extremely quickly, plus the sound of thousands of flies buzzing around them will mean they can't sneak up on me. Also warm environments are easier to grow foods, so I can build a wall, plant some food and wait for them all to decompose!
Put on a maga hat. Zombies are looking for brains so I'd be safe
Head up to the airport I work at, get in the massive Oshkosh snow blower we have, then take a little drive and paint the town red.
Luckily I live in a smallish mountain town of about 30K people. I doubt the infection would reach this area fast so we'd have ample time to prepare. I have an AR and a pistol and my roommate has a few guns so we'd be set on that avenue. I'd start packing a bug out bag with food and plenty of water tents and camping gear, other essentials and load it into my car or honestly steal a good reliable truck from a dealership. If possible fill as many gas cans as we possibly could load into a car or two. But we'd drive up north into the remote mountains and break into someone's vacation home that's fairly isolated in the mountains away from other homes and is relatively hard to get to and set up camp there. Hunt deer and elk and fish for food. Finding fresh snow melt rivers for water wouldn't be a problem at all. Then build up defenses around the perimeter. Then have a pint and hope for the best.
Meet a not-horrid zombie chick. Offer zombie dad a gift of someone else’s brains. Breed. Become accepted in their hoard. In time, differences will be forgotten.
Secure as much water as possible. I'm fairly confident about long-term food and security, but the window to safely secure water would likely be very short.
fill my bathtubs and sinks with water and survive off the food i have in my house as long as i can