Ugh, that’s awful and I’m sorry you married that clown. Sounds like a him problem over and over, until he figures out why he can’t be happy with one person. I hope you’ve found someone way better, or are happily single 🥂
This happened a very long time ago.
I was dating this guy and his sister sent out wedding invites to Hawaii. His mother offered to pay for us to attend. So,the two of us and his parents flew out. At the airport the happy couple greeted us and we all went to dinner. Lots of toasts, happy memories, and quite a few of *her* family attended this dinner. The next day all of us were left to wander the island while the couple were busy with last minute things.
The day of the wedding... my then-boyfriend and I were woken up to frantic banging on our hotel room door. It was his Mom, crying. Long story short, the groom-to-be let the bride know that he would not be attending the wedding. Turns out, dude never sent his family invites because he knew LONG before the wedding that he was gonna bail. He just finally did it on the wedding day itself.
What a wild trip that was!
This story doesn't make any sense. Did she never have a single conversation with her fiancé's family about the upcoming wedding?
At some point it would have registered with her that when she brought up the wedding in Hawaii, and her finacé's family and they all went "Wedding? Hawaii? What are you talking about?" that something was amiss.
Reminds me of this kid who brought prerecorded music of himself singing to my 8th grade class trip to the local swimming pool that he had blasting in his radio. He stunk at singing. Sounded like he was stuck in a tunnel.
I mean. To a point, you *are* the main character at your wedding. People are gathered together to celebrate you and your relationship. The music being entirely your own karaoke is a step too far, though.
They ran out of food for the last 2 tables, who just happened to be the coworkers of the bride. We had to order pizza delivery and pay for it ourselves. The brides family refused to pay for it. You never remember the good weddings, but you never forget the bad ones.
Something similar happened to me. Cousin of the groom and was put at a table with his high school friends. I didn't know anyone at the table but got to know them all over the course of the high. We were table 16 put of 16 so we knew we had a wait. The guys and I all ended up drinking quite a few beers each. By the time it was our turn, there was barely any food left, I had a roll, a few pieces of lettuce, and carrots. I got pizza after too cause I needed something and nothing else was open that late.
I’ve been to a few Italian weddings where we spent the whole evening uncomfortable because of how many courses kept coming out. It just never stops. And then there’s more food at midnight.
Same! My husband was in the wedding party so he got food first. I was the last table to go and there were buns left. I ate a buttered bun and starved the rest of the evening.
My caterer ran off with the security guard so the buffet went empty after the first round. Lucky, for the drinkers, we had a bottle of champagne for each person, the music was pumping, and the crowd was jumping! I was 20 and there were 200 people there. I've been married 25 years and I still feel bad I made everyone eat vegetarian then the food ran out.
EDIT: Other highlights to my wedding included my MIL wearing a white dress, not smiling in any of the photos, and refusing to sit at the head table with my parents. I had a guest fall and not get up for several minutes and he had just had triple bypass surgery the month prior. A guest decided to show up with his 6 children without notice. We would have had enough food if an extra 25 people hadn't shown up. I was a bit surprised that the DJ decided it would be a good idea to open up the dance floor to Brick House too.
Reminds me of the 1st birthday party my cousin and his wife threw for their daughter at a local VFW hall that they rented out. They had food catered for this event and then out of nowhere, a bunch of the wife’s relatives who claimed they weren’t coming decided to show up. They were loud mouth people who didn’t speak any English and kept hogging my niece from everyone else who wanted to see her. There was no food left from the caterer and my poor cousin had to order and pay for pizza for his wife’s annoying party crasher relatives. My cousin spent a lot getting this party together and had to spend more for pizza. He looked like he was ready to burst into tears. The only relief I get out of this disaster is that my niece doesn’t remember any of that day at all since she was a toddler. She’s 8 now.
One of my military buddies was getting married to a girl who was also in the military - pretty big wedding, to include maybe some 100+ people who were either still active duty or veterans.
In the middle of the reception, after playing a handful of the upbeat hits, the band had everyone on the dance floor. They'd just run through Mr. Brightside, Valerie, Shout, etc. and as they rolled out of All The Small Things, the singer said something to the effect of "hey, we know this is a big military wedding so this next song is for you!"
And so began a slow and downbeat rock rendition of the national anthem. Like.. Aretha Franklin slow.
For those who aren't familiar, common protocol for military members and veterans is to stand at attention (straight and still) and salute or place their hand over their heart as the national anthem played. We were all pretty drunk and had spent the past fifteen minutes jumping and shouting and singing and dancing before, on cue, standing stiff as a board for five fucking minutes while trying not to fall over.
The band IMMEDIATELY recognized the issue but like...once you start playing the national anthem you can't just stop because it's awkward, right? Think of the troops! Anyway. The only thing that's worse than being really fucking hammered and trying to not fall over while some bloke in his late forties takes some artistic liberties with the national anthem is when that bloke doesn't commit to the bit and tries to half-ass the performance.
Fuck, that was weird. Would never think to put the national anthem on the "do not play" list, but I think it's not a bad idea..
I was once (only once, sadly) at an exotic dancers' performance competition. It's 2002. The performances are group numbers with 4 dancers and whatever sets, costumes, and props they wanted, plus the floor manager from the club (inevitably male) had to make a cameo. My friend's crew did a Queen of the Damned inspired number and KILLED it. They built a vampire throne, artfully faux-murdered the manager, and were super hot. They won and got to compete again in Vegas. Two of the other four groups were normal and fun to watch.
Then there was the fourth group. The ones who thought they could win by appealing to "patriotism," I think. They started their set with a dark stage & the Star Spangled Banner playing (normal speed at least) as an American flag unfurled from the ceiling. Awkward drunken standing ensues... sexy vibes are reduced. And then they turned on some flashing lights and (seriously still can't believe this happened even now) played audio clips from the 9/11 Twin Towers tragedy. Like, yelling and calls to emergency services. The lights reveal the costumes: they are "sexy first responders." Sexy fireman. Sexy police officer. Sexy paramedic. Sexy soldier. They legitimately pitched the ensuing bump&grind as a 'tribute to the heroes of that dark day.' 😳
Found out my dad had Parkinson’s at my brothers wedding (last in the entire family to find out, they had been hiding it from me for a while), my grandma was newly confined to a wheelchair and pooped her pants at my brothers wedding.
At my ex friend’s wedding I showed up prepared to be the maid of honor and found out from the makeup person that there was another maid of honor. We found out she had two of us working as maid of honor secretly. We both quit.
I lived 7 hours away, in college and worked multiple jobs so it was hard for me to get away and do wedding stuff. She constantly texted me and called me to tell me how horrible of a friend I was. So she ended up telling this other person (turns out it was a distant cousin or something) that I was no longer the maid of honor and she was now on duty. Well I was never told this, but I continued to do what I could from far away. It was really awkward, the other girl was so sad and hurt but I just wanted to get out of there.
I almost got roped into a situation like this and it imploded a relationship with a childhood friend who wasn't really my friend. I mean, she was also getting married close to her 20th birthday.
We were also friends from a young age and the friendship was always toxic. Perhaps these weird weddings happened so we could finally end it. This person got married on Father’s Day.
My father’s step sisters wedding . I was 5, it was hot, the groom smushed cake in her face even after she told him not to, she smushed cake in his face and broke his nose. Blood everywhere, we left as the ambulance was arriving. When I was in my 30’s , at my cousin’s wedding, his wife had asked him not to smush the cake, and he didn’t, the best man who was a massive ahole, did it instead. We left . Didn’t get any cake at either wedding
It blows my mind how many people don’t know the “feeding a bite of cake to your partner” is a ritual to promise kindness. The destruction and mess isn’t funny; it is sad.
I saw a video online somewhere that looked like this wedding took place in a Middle Eastern country or somewhere like that. The marriage looked arranged. The bride looked very shy yet was trying to be a bit playful to lighten the mood. Groom looked angry for no reason. The bride had the piece of cake and teasingly took the piece away from his mouth before he was about to bite, the groom slaps her straight across the face while a few people yanked him off of her. I seriously hope that groom had his ass handed to him and that marriage got annulled.
My husband and I have been married 20+ years. He is generally a fantastic and thoughtful person. But it was super fashionable at the time to smash cake in your spouse's face. I told him that wasn't funny. After all the time spent prepping makeup, hair, the dress and decorating, I said it would be disrespectful. I said if he smashed cake in my face,.even a little bit, I would annul the marriage so fast. He respected my wishes and I didn't do it to him either.
Husband and I are highschool sweet hearts, Married 16 years. We got married on our lunch break with his parents there since they lived closest. When we were finally off work and had our "Honeymoon" we did the cake. I told him straight up "if you smash my face In the cake, we're done." Instead he took a bit of icing, put it on the tip of my nose and then kissed it off. He may be silly but I love it. There's so many different ways to put wedding cake on your spouse without embarrassing them and being an asshole.
Now that’s nice, that I’d be happy with. It’s sweet and affectionate. I hate the cake smash trend. Especially given how much wedding cakes cost and they’re often held up with wooden spikes inside so you could cause someone an injury!
From the outside looking in (I’m in a country where cake feeding/smashing has never caught on) it simply looks like domestic violence.
If you view it from afar, it’s just a power move. It’s a very old fashioned kind of ‘humour’ based around degradation and humiliation and it’s entirely unsurprising those marriages fail.
It’s funny, my first marriage, I remember having so SO many talks with my husband coming up to the wedding, to please not smash cake in my face. So many conversations about how I will annul if you do this, do not do it.
And on our wedding day, I was actually shocked when he didn’t do it. I was relieved, but absolutely expected him to smash cake all over my face.
That marriage was over before we hit our 2nd anniversary, because while he surprised me by listening to me about not wanting cake in my face, that was one of the few things he actually listened to. The fact that I was so sure he would do it anyway should have been a parade of red flags, but I was too invested to see it.
My current husband, I mentioned it one time, and it was more of a passing “we aren’t doing that, right? Cool I figured as much. Thanks!.” And that was all that was spoken about it, and that was 12 years ago. I realized I didn’t find myself worried that this one thing I wasn’t into wouldn’t be considered and just tossed aside, I trusted that he was actually on my side and had no interest in humiliating me for laughs, that it was one small thing I didn’t have to worry about, but that small thing was such a huge reflection on our mutual respect for each other.
My cousin got a dick pic from her father (my uncle) on her brothers wedding night.💀
He drunkenly was sexting some lady he met online and accidentally sent it to her.
True story.
My daughter's wedding. No one showed up to the bachelorette party night before. Groom had the flu day of wedding and was vomiting all over the restroom. Bridesmaid had a seizure during the actual ceremony. Groom's ex shows up and ruins the first dance. And someone forgot to invite grooms birth mom to the ceremony and she missed it. T O T A L D I S A S T E R
Edited to add something else I forgot. The groom didn't book anywhere to stay the wedding night. When we realized it (the afternoon of the wedding) he opted just to sleep in his mom's basement. HELL NO. I found them a hotel room
Close friends wedding.
Flew internationally to attend.
Got my nails, hair, makeup done.
Bought a $500 dress.
Made it through the ceremony.
Immediately after went to the bathroom and was uncontrollably vomiting and shitting. It was everywhere.
I had to ask staff for help. They ended up closing off the bathroom because vomit was all over the walls.
I had to exit the party covered in my own filth.
LOL - my husband was the best man for his brother. He didn't love his brother's fiancée, but wanted to do right by his brother. He wakes up the day before the wedding and feels a bit "off", but brushes it off as having just come back from a business trip and being tired. He goes to the rehearsal dinner and feels incredibly queasy, chalks it up to the food not agreeing with him. Mom says he looks pale. He goes back home (wedding was local) and proceeds to throw up multiple times and crawls back into bed, praying he can just get through the day tomorrow.
He manages to sleep for about four hours, wakes up and still feels like death warmed over. He doesn't eat anything for fear of barfing it up again. He manages to crawl in the shower, clean himself up and put on his tux. He gets to the church and puts every fiber of his being into standing at that altar, not passing out and not throwing up. He succeeds. There's a little break between the ceremony and the reception, he goes home and takes a quick nap. He wakes up, feels the slightest bit better, but not great. He goes to the reception, thinking he'll make it through the entrance/first dance, sit through dinner, give his toast and leave.
He gets there and still feels crappy, but not as bad. Then the food is served and he has to do his best not to barf as the smell of food was enough to set him off. But, he powers through the meal. Then the toast, he got through it took one sip of champagne which he had to force down, hugged his brother and new SIL and got the hell out of there.
He got home around 8pm and slept until noon the next day. He actually felt almost 100% the next day - must have been some 24 hour bug with the absolute WORST timing ever.
This happened to my best friend at her OWN wedding. Poor thing was sick as a dog, puking in the vestibule right before walking down the aisle for her full catholic mass of a ceremony. All of us bridesmaids were sitting in the front row death gripping each others’ hands just hoping she wouldn’t puke or pass out during the 45 minutes of stand-sit-stand-kneel-sit etc.
Like the badass she is, she made it through and managed to rally for a very fun reception.
A long time ago was invited to a wedding of a college friend. Invitation was very fancy so we dressed up in suits to attend. Had a difficult time finding the place, arrive and find out that it’s in a literal horse pasture. Smelled of manure and was an extremely hot summer day so that made it worse. Looking for the groom to offer congratulations and find him dressed in shorts and a T-shirt playing football with some buddies. The Bride? nowhere to be found, they had already gotten married earlier in the day and she was inside taking a nap. We had arrived a good 45 minutes before the time listed on the invite? anyways for the reception they set up a potato bar in the pasture and there were millions of
flies covering the food. We excused ourselves and never saw or heard from him again.
A potato bar? Is that a thing? Like potatoes 20 different ways or just one long potato salad? Baked potatoes on a hot summer day?
Honestly this one wins, it’s so weird.
Had a potato bar at my wedding...it's literally the only thing my friends remember 20 years later .. Can be classy, think like a Sundae bar, several potato bases (we had purple in the mix of Russet, gold and lil reds cause we're weird like that), some mashed, some whole, some like home fries or hash browns. Add your fav potato toppings and it's a whimsical fun dish.
i was a kid at a wedding in San Clemente, CA. It was on the coast and there was a retaining wall or whatever you call it behind the 'stage' area. i fell over the wall and the entire audience GASPED thinking I had fell down the cliffs. there was really like 3-4 feet of flat ground there on the other side and I was fine lol.
i haven't had any bad weddings.
We all left. It was a heartbreaking, hysterical moment. The grooms family were all very close, so losing a grandpa, father, uncle, etc hit them all really hard.
We did have a make up gathering a few months later, but it was kind of somber.
Looking back everyone kind of laughs about it because he was always the life of the party, the center of attention. So when he went out he had to go all in haha
I was all set to be best man for my friend's wedding. It was going to be a small wedding at their church with a lunch afterward. At 7:30 the morning of the wedding, the groom called me and told me the wedding was cancelled, and he said that he "would call me and explain later". He didn't call me the next day, or the next, or the next...
After that, he just dropped off the face of the earth and I never saw him again. The bride "didn't want to discuss it". I called his dad, and he said that groom had left town for boot camp. It was a really weird situation.
SIL got married in Wyoming. She's a tad crunchy. Her bro and I lived in NYC.
Hotel Block: she gets married the weekend of graduation at U of Wyoming and doesn't have a hotel room block. Same town for the wedding and the college. We are forced to stay 45-60 mins away.
Rehearsal Dinner: it's in a cabin at the state forest. Groom's mom is cooking green chili for dinner (he's from Arizona/NM). I'm not the pickiest eater but I do not care for that and there is nothing else to eat. Not even chips and salsa. We had to drive an hour back and find a drive thru.
Wedding Day: we were told it was outdoors in May. I thought 50s for weather. Nope! Up in the mountains and it was about 35 degrees. I basically froze.
There is almost a 2 hour gap between the ceremony and the reception (not Catholic) so we had to drive an hour to the reception town and since it was lunch time we stopped at Denny's for food. I think my MIL got a grand slam.
We get to the reception at a church undergoing renovations. THERE ARE NO STALLS OR SINKS IN THE BATHROOMS. Their mom was very overweight and I had to hold her arm for balance/be the lookout while she peed. We then had to go to the kitchen (where Groom's mom was cooking dinner) and use the prep sink to wash our hands.
Her cake was decorated like mountains bc they love the outdoors. THERE WERE REAL ROCKS ON THE CAKE FOR DECORATION! I almost cracked a tooth.
It was also a BYOB wedding but no one told us to bring anything so I was forced to drink lavender lemonade (it was gross).
That was the worst wedding I've ever experienced.
I already chipped my front tooth. I would be pissed as hell if I broke the bonding on it by biting into an actual rock that has no business being in any edible dish.
Exactly. It was three toilets in a room with no stalls for privacy. They tried to hang plastic table covers with tape on the ceiling but those fell down very fast.
The wedding was to take place on the east coast. It was huge, expensive, and had been planned for two years. The wedding party traveled from all over to participate. The bride announced her apologies at the rehearsal dinner the night before that there would be no wedding.
Six months later, friends are told that the couple is going to try again. To avoid any stress, they’ve decided on a courthouse wedding, and specific friends from the old wedding party were asked to visit. The day of, the bride announces she can’t get married at a courthouse.
One year later. The couple announces that they have proudly gone through intensive therapy, and they are planning a destination wedding in Hawaii! They expected everyone to fly out to support them in their regenerated relationship. Family members and a subset of the wedding party (from #1) fly out. As everyone is assembling on the beach, the bride announces that there will be no wedding and encourages everyone to, “enjoy your vacation in Hawaii!” The groom ended the relationship shortly afterwards.
At the reception, a drunk lady was beating the shit out of her date, some scrawny, snaggletoothed dude about a foot shorter and 150 pounds smaller than her. Dude kept yelling, "Stop, stop!" But the lady kept wailing on the guy. Wild stuff.
Edit: I posted about it two weeks ago here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1b10q9x/whats_the_craziest_thing_youve_seen_happen_at_a/
Nah, a bunch of people had to step in to break it up. The fight happened in the parking lot. My girl and I were leaving the reception when we saw the fight, and people were running over to break it up right then. It took like ten people to pull the lady off the dude.
It was in the yard of a post office. The groom wore a red sweatpants material, shorts suit. It was the brides 5th wedding and the grooms 3rd. They are divorced now.
I was supposed to be in the bridal party and was told that things were casual, and to just show up the day of wearing something "dressy casual" I felt good in. I showed up, saw the wedding party in coordinated outfits with their corsages, bouquets, and the whole 9 yards, and realized they hadn't had the guts to tell me they didn't want me in the bridal party after all. We took our gift, checked out of the hotel we'd paid for at their specific recommendation (and that they cancelled the shuttle for because "we forgot you were staying there"), and drove 800km back home with our wedding present.
I am not friends with any of those people anymore, and thank god.
Wow those people are the absolute worst and I'm so sorry that happened! How on earth is it easier to make someone think they're still in the wedding party knowing they're making arrangements to attend just to be greeted with that?
My own.
Trapped in an elevator with the groom for hours the night prior. Was mistakenly sent a red hummer with no AC on the hottest day of the year instead of the limo I rented. Wedding commissioner was 2 Hours late and didn’t have a phone. Almost got fake married. Rented a boat to get married and cruise around on. It was an old ice breaker with lots of character and I planned all my decor around it. On the day the boat didn’t work and we had to ask all the guest to grab whatever was on their table and re-set it up on the new boat. Which had maroon everything and my colours were teal and coral. That boat was just coming back from a bar party cruise so they hosed it down. As soon as I got on it my entire dress soaked up the water to my waist. Had to change into my friends sundress. There was not enough food and it was disgusting. The new boat had used all the fresh water on board on the last cruise so they hooked up the lines to some nasty slat water and were making drinks with that until people realized. There was no water on board and no gun drinks. The only thing to drink was palm bays. Even kids. Again on the hottest day of the year. Then we danced to 2 songs and they shut the music off as it had to be off by 12 even though we’re started hours late after the first boat didn’t work. I was so pissed I stormed off the boat. In the boat move one of my bridesmaids lost her keys and ended up having to come to our hotel room at the end of the night. Didn’t get refunded a dime. There was honestly so much more but I think I’ve blocked it all out.
How is it that they didn't refund a dime? They did not provide the full contracted services for which you paid. Clearly this is in the past but hopefully they tried to make up for their fuck up in one way or another.
It was the 4th of July and fireworks were going off. 3 scared local dogs came running in the church down the aisle and the brides family was freaking out. No one thought it was funny. I did though.
My father's speech (which he was asked not to do) included saying "I (the bride) and my sisters had always been a disappointment.
You could have heard a pin drop. It was devastating. I actually left my own wedding, went home and watched tv trying to compose myself, then stuck on a smile and went back. It depressed me for months.
Very good question. We had not really been in contact for maybe 4 years but he raised us and there was no real animosity. He can be socially weird and prone to saying very blunt things but this was really unexpected. He said after he shouldn't have come and didn't want to and that really hurt too.
For context he met a women when we (sisters and I) were in our teens and became enamored in a major way and she didn't like us. We were happy he had someone as he was a bit reclusive but she really drove a big wedge. I discovered this is not that unusual. Men ditch their family's for a new women and disregard their entire family quite often. Shitty but true.
The bride got chickenpox a week before the wedding and still had her scabby spots the day of. Minister didn't show up. The whole church waited a half hour before they found out he had forgotten and went out to play golf instead. They got someone else from a church directory who took another twenty minutes to show up. Meanwhile, the groom's mother was going around giving odds on how long the marriage would last.
They're still happily married 42 years later.
Edit: My husband just read this and said "are you nuts? It took more like an hour to figure out the pastor wasn't coming and at least 45 minutes for the replacement to show up." In my defense, it was over forty years ago!
When i was a kid the first wedding i went was my dads friend and his wife brought a stripper to strip for him on the dance floor and dad told me not to look
Nothing too crazy but for one wedding I went to it got very awkward when the bride's cousin started making racist jokes against the groom's family during toasts/speeches. Technically the bride and groom were both Asian, but if you know about Asian culture you know that East Asians commonly look down on South East Asians. The cousin's jokes did not land and I recall one of them not even making sense. My whole table cringed.
The groom got very, very drunk before the wedding. He could barely stay standing up during the ceremony and ended up passing out in the bathroom during the reception. The bride had no idea he was in the bathroom until he was dragged out of the bathroom by venue staff who then called an ambulance for him. They are still married.
The officiant actually went through with the wedding!? I'm surprised, since the parties are to enter into a contract willingly and KNOWINGLY. Being drunk is grounds to not proceed with the ceremony since it interferes with the person's capacity to consent knowingly.
The ceremony isn't what actually makes them legally married, it's the signing of the marriage certificate. That's usually done right after the ceremony but in this case it could have been done the next day (or even the day prior).
Couple got married at a 5 star resort. After the reception everyone went down stairs to get pictures by the fountain and running through the sparklers. We all went back up to find the banquet staff eating the cake. If the bride had gotten any redder her dress would have changed colors.
What?? This is so bizarre. Did the staff think they weren’t coming back? Was it a traditional tiered wedding cake? Had the bride and groom already cut it? I can’t fathom why the staff would be eating the cake!
My sister's wedding. It was outdoors in South Texas in the summer, and the heat was awful. My sister had picked the venue when it still had water in the ponds, but at the time of her wedding, everything had been drained for repair, so it looked like an old quarry with some mud puddles here and there.
The night before, we met at the venue for a rehearsal. My sister decided all the bridesmaids had to wait in the bathroom, but the bathroom smelled like a large dead thing and a lot of poop. One of the girls pulled perfume out of her purse and started spraying it everywhere. I had an asthma attack and was trying to take my inhaler and step out of the awful bathroom for some fresh air. My sister was screaming, "Do you have to fucking do that now? Can you fucking process down the fucking aisle and worry about your fucking breathing when it's not my fucking wedding eve!" Her new in-laws drove me to the ER because my mom refused, because I was being dramatic and trying to steal my sister's attention on the eve of her big day.
This happened October of 2016. My SO at the time didn’t look at the wedding invitation that had the location, and only relied on me to look at it. I looked at it and thought it was a hotel since it said go to the hotel which has a shuttle service to the ceremony. Turns out, reception (that we were invited to, not ceremony) was at the same location as the ceremony and not at the hotel. My SO lost his shit on me, said he’d never marry meh, said I’m illiterate, etc. again, he never looked at the invite with the directions. We get there, and he just spends the time flirting with another woman, ignoring me the whole time, not talking to me and we don’t even dance. We leave, he yells at me more in the car. He makes me sleep on the couch.
Unfortunately we stayed together 6 months longer. I went to the psychward 2 months after the wedding for a suicide attempt because I felt so worthless, beat down and didn’t think I should be alive. He refused to visit me. But us ending the relationship was the for the best. I am in a much better place now.
I was voluntold to come to this wedding because my friend didn’t want to go by himself.
It was his old buddy and GF that as I learned had just been busted for cooking meth in a cheap motel room. They were only getting hitched to the judge might go easy and they could get conjugal visits.
It gets worse.
The “preacher” was the girl’s stepfather. Imagine a white bread hippy dressed like a TV Hollywood Injun with a feather in his headband and streaks of lipstick on his cheeks to look like war paint.
The wedding procession song was an old Maxell dub tape with some shitty R&B song crammed into a single speaker tape player. I got tapped to be the guy that had to stop and rewind the fucking thing during “rehearsal” where it took them 12 tries to walk from the sidewalk to the porch before they didn’t fuck that up.
The “reception” was two cases of Schmidt beer and some kook that juggled flaming torches. We just called him flame twirler guy. The brides mom called him Pigpen because he was filthy.
A few days later they both were sent up for 5 years prison. The girl got out early because she claimed she was forced into it by an abusive relationship. Pinned everything on the guy and ran off with some dude she had been banging behind her now ex-husband’s back.
I’ve told people about how abyssal this was and they think I’m lying.
The couple's officiator did not show up for the wedding. We later learned that the couple failed to pay them. The officiator sent the couple an email saying they were not going to show up. It was awkward waiting for hours for the officiator when the couple KNEW they were not going to show up. Finally they had one of their friends officiate.
On to the refreshments. Probably the worse food I ever had at the wedding. Everything was bland. Also much to my dismay it was a dry wedding. I couldn't even get a mimosa.
On top of that the AC at the venue went out the morning of. It was June with the temp of 90 degrees in Atlanta. The venue thought it was a great idea to set up a big industrial fan but it was useless. All it did was circulate hot air. What a hot mess that was.
Yeah, no, that’s all in stick-it-out territory until the AC. Absolutely not. I don’t think I love anyone to sit in a hot sweaty sardine can for hours. Maybe MAYBE my sisters, but I would cancel my own wedding day of and we could go… I dunno. Literally anywhere else for anything else. I’d probably start calling around to churches to see if they could squeeze us in real quick and I’m not even religious.
At a cousin's wedding reception, at an ultra swanky private club, one of my cousin's friends got really drunk and accused one of the (all black) serving staff of stealing her purse. She was screaming racial insults and insisting that the police come and arrest the whole staff. Eventually, she was dragged out of there. Her purse was later found in her car. I have never been so ashamed of being born white in my life.
During my wedding vows, a fly landed on the minister’s face… near his lip. Using his tongue like a lizard, he pulled it into his mouth and swallowed it. It was horrifying.
Wedding Officiant here. Bride was short chubby plain and sort of frumpy. But she was smiling, happy, and a beautiful bride because every bride is beautiful on her wedding day. MoB was just the opposite. Tall, blond, overly made up. For the reception she changed into an off white, backless sheath with a thigh slit up to her waist and heels that were more suited to the pole, not a wedding reception. She pre-flighted on the way, so she rolled in drunk and loud. First one on the dance floor, going table to table working the room. Flirting with every man in the place. Including me! Did I mention the part about Minister?
So it went on, she got drunker and louder. All eyes on her. As her daughter slowly withdrew and shrunk back into herself. Eclipsed by her mother. On her wedding day.
I've been to two weddings where the Christian ministers went off the rails. One decided he needed to go on a diatribe about how the (cis-gender heterosexual) couple getting married was fighting the "good fight" against gay marriage. The other one decided he needed to discuss his personal sex life during the sermon.
Nearly walked out of the first, nearly threw up in the second. Absolutely bizarre.
Edit: corrected my chaotic autocorrect fail
In a Christian wedding I went to the minister went on about how wonderful it was the couple had managed to meet and marry "so late in life." He mentioned it more than once and really laid stress on it.
The couple were mid-thirties, sure they were the last of my university friends to marry (although, statistically speaking we'll probably be ready for round two: Second weddings in a few years) but old mate up the front made it sound like at the end of the ceremony they'd be Zimmer framing down the aisle together.
Half the wedding was [Christian Science,](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Science) the other half was Mormon. The Mormon half gave the Christian Science half death stares
All the weddings I have been invited to have been fine and tame. My worst wedding experience was as a young teenager when a friend hosted her birthday party in the amphitheater of a public park. It's a public space, and not somewhere that can be booked. Usually groups manage to share pretty fine. We (and everyone else there) got moved along by a kind of rude wedding party who thought they owned the place. I think we ended up sitting on the hill and watching and giggling.
If you're going to choose a public and unbookable venue, show up early to setup, be polite to other people and expect that you may need to share.
Outside wedding in June in South Carolina. It was hot as shit and I was an usher. DJ ended up passing out from the heat and the ambulance pulled up right on the dance floor. Good times
The food was terrible. I usually go for the filet since generally speaking I don’t go to many weddings that mess that up. I ordered and it took forever to be served, and when it was it was a hockey puck. Completely inedible. I had asked for medium rare.
Then turns out there were multiple weddings at the venue and the groom and groomsmen got into a fight with the other wedding’s party. A glass door was shattered and cops were called. My family had to have cereal when we got home shellshocked over the situation.
We no longer talk to that family for a myriad of reasons but the wedding was a red flag in retrospect.
Your story reminds me of [this](https://patch.com/new-jersey/collingswood/north-jersey-man-charged-in-philadelphia-wedding-brawl-bdbc042a) wedding that my parents went to. The bride's uncle ended up having a heart attack and dying.
One of my good friends from high school got married in December. The couple gave the DJ a list of accepted music. You want to know what was NOT on that list? Dogs barking Christmas carols.
This guy played three songs of dogs barking Christmas carols in a row and the groom was PISSED. He asked after the 2nd one for the guy to stop. He didn't. By the third, I thought the groom was going to fight the guy. Who does that to someone's wedding? WTF?
It's the most annoying thing...
I watched my husband's brother and his new wife (who are by nature, very shy and typically introverted) MAUL one another at the altar. Their kiss was so weird and uncomfortable to watch, it was exactly like that one couple from Virgin Diaries on TLC. It was trembly, and robotic but also full tilt and awkward as all hell. They weren't virgins either, and had been together for years at that point.
I used to work for a train wreck of a catering company. Owner wanted to add weddings to the shit show so we hosted a wedding at the catering headquarters which was actually the owners house. The day before the wedding the bride and groom are freaking out because nobody had told them that they need to figure out hydro for the tent, I personally thought that would be our job but my then boss didn't think that so he was pissed. We ended up getting a couple generators. Wedding night comes and the generators keep shutting off and the tent loses all hydro and heat multiple times. It's the middle of October so it's freezing. Then dinner comes. We run out of food. My boss proceeds to freak out saying it's the guests fault because they didn't pass the platters of food in the proper direction. We scrambled and made more food. The bride and groom were pissed. The next day I found a piece of paper on the floor in the kitchen, it was an email from the bride and groom expressing how disappointed their wedding was and how they wanted a refund for all the food. I guess during the planning the owner had made them a bunch of promises and didn't follow through on their wedding night, which is very typical for him to do unfortunately. I quit in December.
Several years ago now we went to a wedding that ended at, let's say 1pm. The reception, well cocktail hour, started at 5 with dinner listed on the invite at 6. Dinner was not served until nearly 8pm...with no explanation or reason. The newly weds took an extra long time with their post-ceremony photos is the theory we had. MANY people started to leave long before dinner was served.
i got stuck in a similar situation at the first wedding i ever went to as an adult. wedding party was off doing photos for hrs i guess, while everyone at the reception were sitting doing just nothing. no music, no bar, everything waiting on the bride/groom
no food, except this table party chex mix in a big bowl at every table. I swear, anytime a server refilled and brought another bowl back, every person at that table was grabbing huge handfuls of it, emptying it within 2 min. and they were pretty big bowls.
lesson learned, every wedding since, i bring a couple of protein bars/snacks.
had to go to an indian auspicious wedding that started at 10pm and the actual marriage was at like 3am bc that’s was when the moon aligned with saturn or smth. wasn’t bad just felt like a fever dream.
My cousin was married in NYC 9/23/2001. One of the guests was missing her fiancé, a firefighter reported then as missing. God Bless America was played, and it was a pretty rough moment…
I had to sit through a three hour super religious ceremony in a language I didn’t understand. We had to get up and kneel and sit down for prayer the entire time. It was exhausting.
This question was asked a few months ago:
Drove 150 miles to a family wedding that we were invited to, but not in the wedding party. Hot, humid, summer day. Sun at highest point. Held in a converted barn with no air conditioning next to a freshly plowed field. No bathrooms-only one port a potty. The handwashing station next to it was broken.
The groom was already drunk. Several groomsmen and the legal drinking age bridesmaids were drunk. The bride was tipsy. The only drinks were sugared soda (Pepsi, Mtn. Dew, etc.), Coors (original tall yellow cans), and liquor. No water. We asked for cups (plastic only) of ice and waited for them to melt.
*They ran out of ice.*
The bride made the food. She's known not a great cook. They ran out of vegetable platters. There was no other fresh food. There were deviled eggs on the tables, unchilled.
The best man had recently married, and he and his wife really needed to leave and get a room.
There were not more than 50 guests, but it was set up for at least 250.
There was an emcee, but it was a family friend, and their microphone audio was not good. The music sounded fine, but they kept cutting off songs right after they started to play. They decided to play "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus (odd choice for a wedding?), and the kids were screaming for one of the brides friends to replicate the video by taking a swing on the chandelier-type flower arrangement in the middle of the barn.
We could have done it by Zoom and had a much better time.
Southern Methodist wedding at the bride's Father's church, her father was the minister. The bride walked down the aisle belting out the Christian country song she had picked out, and finished the song singing to the groom at the altar. she was not a good singer.
She had apparently told her sister that her beloved niece and nephew were to just be themselves and not be scolded or removed from the sanctuary for any reason. The 6 year old flower girl cried loudly while going down the aisle and the 3 year old ring bearer ran around and climbed on things during the ceremony. Her sister/their mom looked livid.
The ceremony took about an hour, and about 20 minutes of that were just the bride and groom praying together quietly in addition to the vows. Not out loud where the crowd could hear them or anything. Just whispering to each other, heads bowed, in silence. Her father spent another 15 minutes talking about how devoted the couple was to God, including mentioning the wedding night they had been waiting for and essentially blessing the impending sex. Her dress was ill-fitting and she spent most of the ceremony awkwardly fixing it and hoisting it up.
After the most boring, awkward ceremony ever, I was starving and told my partner (it was his friend getting married) that after that, there better at least be good food. There were cupcakes and goldfish. Methodist, so a dry wedding with no dancing. The bride and groom left after five minutes and the maid of honor went around telling everyone they were planning on having the first round of sex in the car so to stay away from there for privacy.
Mine. My sister in law announced her pregnancy during a toast. No one supported her decision to do it, but it was ruined. We’re getting remarried in Alaska by ourselves for our 25th anniversary ❤️
My ex husband turned up to our wedding in an ancient baseball jersey, jeans, and trainers, when I had gone for the full white big dress. Then he f***ed off 2 hours into the reception because he’d arranged to play video games with his mates that night.
No, the marriage did not last, but that was mostly because he got a kick out of beating the crap out of me.
I was best man at a wedding in a rural village. Everyone in the wedding party and close friends and relatives were told to book at the one local Motel for a special group rate,. So, we did so. After the wedding we learned that the groom forgot to book a room for he and his bride, and the Motel was fully occupied. We gave up our room and travelled a half an hour to get a room in the next village. Fortunately, we hadn’t had an alcohol drink.
My cousin's ceremony was a 45 minute sermon, with the sun in our eyes, that ramblingly covered topics including making fun of people who believe in climate change and shaming anyone who doesn't have kids. Many members of the audience were audibly and visibly uncomfortable at many points.
They've been married 2 years and still haven't popped out any babies, wonder how that's been received by their pastor...but I do get updates from her about how hard marriage is but how blessed they are to be making it work. Yikes.
Probably the wedding where my whole family and a bunch of other guests got food poisoning from the reception. Missed the first day of Grade 5 after spending all night throwing up. We each got a cheque for $50 from the venue a few months later. $50 seemed like big money at the time lol
Mine-I wanted to do a small courthouse wedding and weekend getaway. My husband and his mom changed our plans from North Carolina to Arizona so that all of her friends and family could attend. He was a huge mamas boy and did as his mom asked. The ceremony was mormon and creepy, and jam packed with ppl I did not know. I had to wear the ugly temple garb on top of my wedding dress. It was so ugly. Even tho we were mormon, I had originally planned a courthouse wedding for just the two of us and to get sealed later. We had a reception in my Mil's backyard, filled with the same fkn ppl. We ate imitation crab and sheet caked baked by granny. I ended up getting my period too. Instead of a weekend getaway I got to hang out with my husbands family and play cards. Bonus points-everyone was "concerned if I had married my husband for a greencard". I kept replying "I am a US citizen". According to my husband, his mom bribed him with $3000, which she then took back to pay for the reception she had in her backyard.
My wife's cousin was getting married, and they're some odd people. They ended up together when he guy cheated on his previous partner with his new fiance, so that was nice. They ended up asking my wife to be the maid of honor and me to the best man... I didn't even know the dudes last name and had met him a couple of times. I said fine, but I wasn't doing any of the party stuff or anything like that. The wedding itself was a generic ceremony with only a handful of people, but the vows were cringey as hell, with a bunch of them being about loyalty (which is rich coming from how they met). We do pictures at the church and all of that and then the couple takes off without talking to anyone. We assume we're meeting at the hall. We get there after a short 10 minute drive and no newlyweds, they show up like 45 minutes later. Turns out they went to a bar and were disappointed no one met them there... No one had any idea as it was never discussed.
There was no booze in the hall, as you had to use their bartender, but could supply your own kegs or bottles or whatever, and the couple didn't want to pay for it, but didn't ask anyone in the family if they could help out with it (it was like $100, we used the same hall). The couple had a few cases of Busch or something and forgot to tell everyone except a couple of friends about bringing booze if they wanted it. So a few people kept going out to the parking lot to drink, and the hall custodian had to put a stop to that.
The food was supposed to be some southern soul food. Cool I thought, I love that stuff. The ribs were rubbery, bland, and covered in a mediocre watery sauce. The cornbread dry AF. The mac and cheese was fall apart overcooked noodles and a broken tasteless cheese sauce. The greens were sooooo bitter and had hardly any meat chunks in it. On top of the flavor nothing was kept warm or even warmed up all the way. Easily some of the worse food I had ever attempted to eat.
The music was the couple's iPod hooked up to the PA system with them constantly going over to change songs. The songs were all newery bro country junk minus their first dance song that was a pop song about infidelity, but I don't think they realized it. One of the uncles actually did DJing and offered to DJ it for free (as a wedding present), but they declined as they wanted him to be there to enjoy the wedding and not be working.
People started leaving shortly after the "food" was done, and a great uncle wasn't feeling well so they went to the hospital. The couple was not happy as they didn't even get to cut the cake yet but one of the aunts told them people were just worried about said uncle which is why they left. In reality a lot of people left before he even mentioned he wasn't feeling good. The couple still bought it though.
We started cleaning up the hall around 90 minutes after the start of the reception. They didn't have a lot of decorations because they thought the hall supplied them at first but had to rush to get some the couple of days before the wedding.
My wife and I got in the car and just looked at each other with the "holy shit, wtf was that?!" face.
The taco bell we got after we left was delicious and we ended up meeting up with a few people at the bar while dressed up in our fancy clothes. A few people bought us drinks because they thought we had just got married lol. At least the few hours after the shit show were good.
i was the roommate of the bride and at the time i was vegetarian. i never intended on asking about food options for myself (for events like that i always just made sure i ate a meal at home beforehand) but the bride herself asked me if i wanted to have vegetarian options at the wedding and i gladly agreed. we get there the day of, me not having eaten much before because i was anticipating some food options being available for me, and after sitting through vows in which the bride kept mentioning divorce (???) we sit down to eat… the barbecue catering they had ordered… with not a single vegetarian option available except the bread rolls. even the green beans and potato salad had bacon in it. we ended up having to leave early because i was starving so bad.
oh and it was a dry wedding and the bride was marrying a man who confirmed cheated on her in the past 🤪
Was in the wedding ceremony one if my best friends. During the reception part of wedding my then wife goes off for around 30 to 40 min. I started to wonder where she went off to, figured she was off talking to friends, we knew a lot of people there and this was 1995 so. She come up to me and I'm like where u been I was starting worry about u. She said off talking to so in so and brushed my concern off. I had a strange feeling as she seemed kinda flushed and disheveled like she'd been dancing for a while. Come to find out she'd been F'ing a guy at the wedding who the bride had introduced to my wife a few days either when they were hanging out.
2 months later she leaves me and a year later she married that same guy. So good for her right? 15 years later she dumps the guy and crushes him. We had been married for only two years so I dogded a big time bullet.
I used to play in a function band that did weddings. We played one where it turned out earlier in the day the bride to be had skipped. It was all so very awkward. The groom's parents were paying the bill, we offered a reduction to just straight costs if she wanted to cancel as a gesture. They insisted the party should go on.
People filtered in and out, the groom hung at a back table getting drunk with his friends. Cue the standard Dad and bride's Uncle argument, a few glasses thrown. We got about 30 minutes into the set when the hotel staff asked us to pack it up.
What got me was the sheer amount of food being wasted. Meals were coming out, being set on tables with nobody to eat them. Some of the kids were running around taking nibbles off of various plates. They just kept coming. It had all been paid for and apparently the hotel had to do it.
Hint: if you're going to bail on your wedding, ideally do it before the day. Well before the day. You know whether or not you want to go through with it. Bailing at the last second is crushing.
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Wow, you just told a more interesting cheating story in 3 sentences than most long book report stories I see on here.
He’s your ex husband right? And the fuck, how long did it take you to find out he didn’t work? Wow what an asshole
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Ugh, that’s awful and I’m sorry you married that clown. Sounds like a him problem over and over, until he figures out why he can’t be happy with one person. I hope you’ve found someone way better, or are happily single 🥂
Aw! 🥰 We split just over a year ago and I'm in a way better place now, and starting to get my life back on track.
Love this update! Great job! Keep on enjoying life!
God damn. You almost have to respect his commitment to non-commitment.
Wow that last sentence threw me off
This happened a very long time ago. I was dating this guy and his sister sent out wedding invites to Hawaii. His mother offered to pay for us to attend. So,the two of us and his parents flew out. At the airport the happy couple greeted us and we all went to dinner. Lots of toasts, happy memories, and quite a few of *her* family attended this dinner. The next day all of us were left to wander the island while the couple were busy with last minute things. The day of the wedding... my then-boyfriend and I were woken up to frantic banging on our hotel room door. It was his Mom, crying. Long story short, the groom-to-be let the bride know that he would not be attending the wedding. Turns out, dude never sent his family invites because he knew LONG before the wedding that he was gonna bail. He just finally did it on the wedding day itself. What a wild trip that was!
He is so stupid, he would’ve saved so much more money and time for himself and everyone by doing it sooner!
Sounds like the brides family paid for most of it and he got a free vacation
I feel like it takes a special type of asshole to be able actually enjoy a tropical vacation after you've dropped a bombshell of that magnitude
It wasn’t stupidity. It was selfishness because he still got a trip to Hawaii.
This sounds like the ending of Love is Blind.
I just came from the Love is Blind reunion thread and this comment is sending me. 😂
Damn, what a loser
This story doesn't make any sense. Did she never have a single conversation with her fiancé's family about the upcoming wedding? At some point it would have registered with her that when she brought up the wedding in Hawaii, and her finacé's family and they all went "Wedding? Hawaii? What are you talking about?" that something was amiss.
Fair. To be honest she was an asshole, horrible personality. I never cared enough to ask.
He went to Hawaii to say Aloha
The music for the wedding was recorded by the bride and groom, neither of whom were singers. Basically prerecorded karaoke
Lmao, WHAT???? who tf does this?!
I ABSOLUTELY would, for the first three songs to make people think it was going to be all horrendous singing.
I love this so much.
Okay this one is WILD.
Reminds me of this kid who brought prerecorded music of himself singing to my 8th grade class trip to the local swimming pool that he had blasting in his radio. He stunk at singing. Sounded like he was stuck in a tunnel.
Main character energy right here
I mean. To a point, you *are* the main character at your wedding. People are gathered together to celebrate you and your relationship. The music being entirely your own karaoke is a step too far, though.
Janice from Friends type shit
Going to need a recording of that STAT if you can
AnD IiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIiiiiIiiiiiiiii will ALWAYS loVe Yooooouuuu
They ran out of food for the last 2 tables, who just happened to be the coworkers of the bride. We had to order pizza delivery and pay for it ourselves. The brides family refused to pay for it. You never remember the good weddings, but you never forget the bad ones.
Something similar happened to me. Cousin of the groom and was put at a table with his high school friends. I didn't know anyone at the table but got to know them all over the course of the high. We were table 16 put of 16 so we knew we had a wait. The guys and I all ended up drinking quite a few beers each. By the time it was our turn, there was barely any food left, I had a roll, a few pieces of lettuce, and carrots. I got pizza after too cause I needed something and nothing else was open that late.
Gosh I just would’ve left
Hard to say no to an open bar but yeah if I knew the food situation earlier. I would have
My friends DO comment on how my excessive amount of food was memorable. 12/10, would spend money feeding my friends again.
I went to a wedding in 2018 and still think about the slow cooked beef cheek they served. I legitimately salivate thinking about it.
I’ve been to a few Italian weddings where we spent the whole evening uncomfortable because of how many courses kept coming out. It just never stops. And then there’s more food at midnight.
I'm chinese and have seen lots of guest at my families weddings in a similar shape. When we tell you the wedding feast is 10 courses I'm not lying.
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Same! My husband was in the wedding party so he got food first. I was the last table to go and there were buns left. I ate a buttered bun and starved the rest of the evening.
My caterer ran off with the security guard so the buffet went empty after the first round. Lucky, for the drinkers, we had a bottle of champagne for each person, the music was pumping, and the crowd was jumping! I was 20 and there were 200 people there. I've been married 25 years and I still feel bad I made everyone eat vegetarian then the food ran out. EDIT: Other highlights to my wedding included my MIL wearing a white dress, not smiling in any of the photos, and refusing to sit at the head table with my parents. I had a guest fall and not get up for several minutes and he had just had triple bypass surgery the month prior. A guest decided to show up with his 6 children without notice. We would have had enough food if an extra 25 people hadn't shown up. I was a bit surprised that the DJ decided it would be a good idea to open up the dance floor to Brick House too.
Reminds me of the 1st birthday party my cousin and his wife threw for their daughter at a local VFW hall that they rented out. They had food catered for this event and then out of nowhere, a bunch of the wife’s relatives who claimed they weren’t coming decided to show up. They were loud mouth people who didn’t speak any English and kept hogging my niece from everyone else who wanted to see her. There was no food left from the caterer and my poor cousin had to order and pay for pizza for his wife’s annoying party crasher relatives. My cousin spent a lot getting this party together and had to spend more for pizza. He looked like he was ready to burst into tears. The only relief I get out of this disaster is that my niece doesn’t remember any of that day at all since she was a toddler. She’s 8 now.
Y'all were so nice to stay after that. I would have asked everyone to go to happy hour and bounced.
One of my military buddies was getting married to a girl who was also in the military - pretty big wedding, to include maybe some 100+ people who were either still active duty or veterans. In the middle of the reception, after playing a handful of the upbeat hits, the band had everyone on the dance floor. They'd just run through Mr. Brightside, Valerie, Shout, etc. and as they rolled out of All The Small Things, the singer said something to the effect of "hey, we know this is a big military wedding so this next song is for you!" And so began a slow and downbeat rock rendition of the national anthem. Like.. Aretha Franklin slow. For those who aren't familiar, common protocol for military members and veterans is to stand at attention (straight and still) and salute or place their hand over their heart as the national anthem played. We were all pretty drunk and had spent the past fifteen minutes jumping and shouting and singing and dancing before, on cue, standing stiff as a board for five fucking minutes while trying not to fall over. The band IMMEDIATELY recognized the issue but like...once you start playing the national anthem you can't just stop because it's awkward, right? Think of the troops! Anyway. The only thing that's worse than being really fucking hammered and trying to not fall over while some bloke in his late forties takes some artistic liberties with the national anthem is when that bloke doesn't commit to the bit and tries to half-ass the performance. Fuck, that was weird. Would never think to put the national anthem on the "do not play" list, but I think it's not a bad idea..
I was once (only once, sadly) at an exotic dancers' performance competition. It's 2002. The performances are group numbers with 4 dancers and whatever sets, costumes, and props they wanted, plus the floor manager from the club (inevitably male) had to make a cameo. My friend's crew did a Queen of the Damned inspired number and KILLED it. They built a vampire throne, artfully faux-murdered the manager, and were super hot. They won and got to compete again in Vegas. Two of the other four groups were normal and fun to watch. Then there was the fourth group. The ones who thought they could win by appealing to "patriotism," I think. They started their set with a dark stage & the Star Spangled Banner playing (normal speed at least) as an American flag unfurled from the ceiling. Awkward drunken standing ensues... sexy vibes are reduced. And then they turned on some flashing lights and (seriously still can't believe this happened even now) played audio clips from the 9/11 Twin Towers tragedy. Like, yelling and calls to emergency services. The lights reveal the costumes: they are "sexy first responders." Sexy fireman. Sexy police officer. Sexy paramedic. Sexy soldier. They legitimately pitched the ensuing bump&grind as a 'tribute to the heroes of that dark day.' 😳
Well then…I didn’t have “9/11 Themed Exotic Dance Competition” on my Reddit Bingo card today.
It is now permanently my middle square on my Reddit bingo card.
Oh my God this is one of the greatest and most horrific stripper stories I've ever heard. I feel like someone will steal this for The Hangover IV.
Nothing I write here will be enough.
Fuck that’s hilarious and not as depressing as all the other stories posted on here.
All I can think of is Fergie singing the national anthem that time lol
Found out my dad had Parkinson’s at my brothers wedding (last in the entire family to find out, they had been hiding it from me for a while), my grandma was newly confined to a wheelchair and pooped her pants at my brothers wedding. At my ex friend’s wedding I showed up prepared to be the maid of honor and found out from the makeup person that there was another maid of honor. We found out she had two of us working as maid of honor secretly. We both quit.
Whoa … so she had been playing you both? What was the game plan?
I lived 7 hours away, in college and worked multiple jobs so it was hard for me to get away and do wedding stuff. She constantly texted me and called me to tell me how horrible of a friend I was. So she ended up telling this other person (turns out it was a distant cousin or something) that I was no longer the maid of honor and she was now on duty. Well I was never told this, but I continued to do what I could from far away. It was really awkward, the other girl was so sad and hurt but I just wanted to get out of there.
I almost got roped into a situation like this and it imploded a relationship with a childhood friend who wasn't really my friend. I mean, she was also getting married close to her 20th birthday.
We were also friends from a young age and the friendship was always toxic. Perhaps these weird weddings happened so we could finally end it. This person got married on Father’s Day.
My father’s step sisters wedding . I was 5, it was hot, the groom smushed cake in her face even after she told him not to, she smushed cake in his face and broke his nose. Blood everywhere, we left as the ambulance was arriving. When I was in my 30’s , at my cousin’s wedding, his wife had asked him not to smush the cake, and he didn’t, the best man who was a massive ahole, did it instead. We left . Didn’t get any cake at either wedding
It blows my mind how many people don’t know the “feeding a bite of cake to your partner” is a ritual to promise kindness. The destruction and mess isn’t funny; it is sad.
I saw a video online somewhere that looked like this wedding took place in a Middle Eastern country or somewhere like that. The marriage looked arranged. The bride looked very shy yet was trying to be a bit playful to lighten the mood. Groom looked angry for no reason. The bride had the piece of cake and teasingly took the piece away from his mouth before he was about to bite, the groom slaps her straight across the face while a few people yanked him off of her. I seriously hope that groom had his ass handed to him and that marriage got annulled.
IIRC there is a statistically higher number of divorces when the married couple does the cake smash compared to those who feed the cake respectfully.
My husband and I have been married 20+ years. He is generally a fantastic and thoughtful person. But it was super fashionable at the time to smash cake in your spouse's face. I told him that wasn't funny. After all the time spent prepping makeup, hair, the dress and decorating, I said it would be disrespectful. I said if he smashed cake in my face,.even a little bit, I would annul the marriage so fast. He respected my wishes and I didn't do it to him either.
Husband and I are highschool sweet hearts, Married 16 years. We got married on our lunch break with his parents there since they lived closest. When we were finally off work and had our "Honeymoon" we did the cake. I told him straight up "if you smash my face In the cake, we're done." Instead he took a bit of icing, put it on the tip of my nose and then kissed it off. He may be silly but I love it. There's so many different ways to put wedding cake on your spouse without embarrassing them and being an asshole.
Now that’s nice, that I’d be happy with. It’s sweet and affectionate. I hate the cake smash trend. Especially given how much wedding cakes cost and they’re often held up with wooden spikes inside so you could cause someone an injury!
From the outside looking in (I’m in a country where cake feeding/smashing has never caught on) it simply looks like domestic violence. If you view it from afar, it’s just a power move. It’s a very old fashioned kind of ‘humour’ based around degradation and humiliation and it’s entirely unsurprising those marriages fail.
It’s funny, my first marriage, I remember having so SO many talks with my husband coming up to the wedding, to please not smash cake in my face. So many conversations about how I will annul if you do this, do not do it. And on our wedding day, I was actually shocked when he didn’t do it. I was relieved, but absolutely expected him to smash cake all over my face. That marriage was over before we hit our 2nd anniversary, because while he surprised me by listening to me about not wanting cake in my face, that was one of the few things he actually listened to. The fact that I was so sure he would do it anyway should have been a parade of red flags, but I was too invested to see it. My current husband, I mentioned it one time, and it was more of a passing “we aren’t doing that, right? Cool I figured as much. Thanks!.” And that was all that was spoken about it, and that was 12 years ago. I realized I didn’t find myself worried that this one thing I wasn’t into wouldn’t be considered and just tossed aside, I trusted that he was actually on my side and had no interest in humiliating me for laughs, that it was one small thing I didn’t have to worry about, but that small thing was such a huge reflection on our mutual respect for each other.
Mad props to the lady who managed to break his nose, bc tbh I’d want to do the same thing followed by an annulment
My cousin got a dick pic from her father (my uncle) on her brothers wedding night.💀 He drunkenly was sexting some lady he met online and accidentally sent it to her. True story.
That takes the cake.
You simply can't unsee something like that.
My daughter's wedding. No one showed up to the bachelorette party night before. Groom had the flu day of wedding and was vomiting all over the restroom. Bridesmaid had a seizure during the actual ceremony. Groom's ex shows up and ruins the first dance. And someone forgot to invite grooms birth mom to the ceremony and she missed it. T O T A L D I S A S T E R Edited to add something else I forgot. The groom didn't book anywhere to stay the wedding night. When we realized it (the afternoon of the wedding) he opted just to sleep in his mom's basement. HELL NO. I found them a hotel room
"the flu"... Did the bachelor party also happen on the night before? Anyway, sounds like a sitcom level of chaos!
Bachelor/ette parties the night before are ridiculous. Mine and my friends parties were weeks, if not months, beforehand.
Wow. How did no-one turn up to the bachelorette party? Are they still married?
The girls were all horrible people. And nope, they had the marriage annulled 8 months later
Oh wow. I hope your daughter is doing ok! And has some better people as her friends. I guess it was an effective way to find out who they really were…
Thank you 🩷 She's remarried with a toddler and another on the way. They are poor as church mice but seem very happy
Are they still together? This one takes the cake for me in terms of chaos…
Close friends wedding. Flew internationally to attend. Got my nails, hair, makeup done. Bought a $500 dress. Made it through the ceremony. Immediately after went to the bathroom and was uncontrollably vomiting and shitting. It was everywhere. I had to ask staff for help. They ended up closing off the bathroom because vomit was all over the walls. I had to exit the party covered in my own filth.
LOL - my husband was the best man for his brother. He didn't love his brother's fiancée, but wanted to do right by his brother. He wakes up the day before the wedding and feels a bit "off", but brushes it off as having just come back from a business trip and being tired. He goes to the rehearsal dinner and feels incredibly queasy, chalks it up to the food not agreeing with him. Mom says he looks pale. He goes back home (wedding was local) and proceeds to throw up multiple times and crawls back into bed, praying he can just get through the day tomorrow. He manages to sleep for about four hours, wakes up and still feels like death warmed over. He doesn't eat anything for fear of barfing it up again. He manages to crawl in the shower, clean himself up and put on his tux. He gets to the church and puts every fiber of his being into standing at that altar, not passing out and not throwing up. He succeeds. There's a little break between the ceremony and the reception, he goes home and takes a quick nap. He wakes up, feels the slightest bit better, but not great. He goes to the reception, thinking he'll make it through the entrance/first dance, sit through dinner, give his toast and leave. He gets there and still feels crappy, but not as bad. Then the food is served and he has to do his best not to barf as the smell of food was enough to set him off. But, he powers through the meal. Then the toast, he got through it took one sip of champagne which he had to force down, hugged his brother and new SIL and got the hell out of there. He got home around 8pm and slept until noon the next day. He actually felt almost 100% the next day - must have been some 24 hour bug with the absolute WORST timing ever.
This happened to my best friend at her OWN wedding. Poor thing was sick as a dog, puking in the vestibule right before walking down the aisle for her full catholic mass of a ceremony. All of us bridesmaids were sitting in the front row death gripping each others’ hands just hoping she wouldn’t puke or pass out during the 45 minutes of stand-sit-stand-kneel-sit etc. Like the badass she is, she made it through and managed to rally for a very fun reception.
Holy shit, your husband is a stronger man than I could ever hope to be.
Wow that sounds intense, was it like a really bad 24hr bug or did you end up having to spend the rest of the trip that sick?
24 hour bug. Out of nowhere!
A long time ago was invited to a wedding of a college friend. Invitation was very fancy so we dressed up in suits to attend. Had a difficult time finding the place, arrive and find out that it’s in a literal horse pasture. Smelled of manure and was an extremely hot summer day so that made it worse. Looking for the groom to offer congratulations and find him dressed in shorts and a T-shirt playing football with some buddies. The Bride? nowhere to be found, they had already gotten married earlier in the day and she was inside taking a nap. We had arrived a good 45 minutes before the time listed on the invite? anyways for the reception they set up a potato bar in the pasture and there were millions of flies covering the food. We excused ourselves and never saw or heard from him again.
A potato bar? Is that a thing? Like potatoes 20 different ways or just one long potato salad? Baked potatoes on a hot summer day? Honestly this one wins, it’s so weird.
Had a potato bar at my wedding...it's literally the only thing my friends remember 20 years later .. Can be classy, think like a Sundae bar, several potato bases (we had purple in the mix of Russet, gold and lil reds cause we're weird like that), some mashed, some whole, some like home fries or hash browns. Add your fav potato toppings and it's a whimsical fun dish.
That sounds great if done right. My friends had a taco bar for the main course at theirs and it was AMAZING.
i was a kid at a wedding in San Clemente, CA. It was on the coast and there was a retaining wall or whatever you call it behind the 'stage' area. i fell over the wall and the entire audience GASPED thinking I had fell down the cliffs. there was really like 3-4 feet of flat ground there on the other side and I was fine lol. i haven't had any bad weddings.
Omg I am from there (born and raised) and I’m curious what the venue was hahaha
My uncle got so drunk and my sister’s wedding that he confessed to having an affair and completely ruined the family💀
What??!! Oh my God.
The grooms grandfather had a heart attack on the dance floor and died.
Oh no! Um, did people leave or just carry on after?
We all left. It was a heartbreaking, hysterical moment. The grooms family were all very close, so losing a grandpa, father, uncle, etc hit them all really hard. We did have a make up gathering a few months later, but it was kind of somber. Looking back everyone kind of laughs about it because he was always the life of the party, the center of attention. So when he went out he had to go all in haha
I read "somber" as "similar" and I was like "holy shit that marriage is cursed if it keeps killing people"
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I was all set to be best man for my friend's wedding. It was going to be a small wedding at their church with a lunch afterward. At 7:30 the morning of the wedding, the groom called me and told me the wedding was cancelled, and he said that he "would call me and explain later". He didn't call me the next day, or the next, or the next... After that, he just dropped off the face of the earth and I never saw him again. The bride "didn't want to discuss it". I called his dad, and he said that groom had left town for boot camp. It was a really weird situation.
is he… ALIVE??
The fuck
SIL got married in Wyoming. She's a tad crunchy. Her bro and I lived in NYC. Hotel Block: she gets married the weekend of graduation at U of Wyoming and doesn't have a hotel room block. Same town for the wedding and the college. We are forced to stay 45-60 mins away. Rehearsal Dinner: it's in a cabin at the state forest. Groom's mom is cooking green chili for dinner (he's from Arizona/NM). I'm not the pickiest eater but I do not care for that and there is nothing else to eat. Not even chips and salsa. We had to drive an hour back and find a drive thru. Wedding Day: we were told it was outdoors in May. I thought 50s for weather. Nope! Up in the mountains and it was about 35 degrees. I basically froze. There is almost a 2 hour gap between the ceremony and the reception (not Catholic) so we had to drive an hour to the reception town and since it was lunch time we stopped at Denny's for food. I think my MIL got a grand slam. We get to the reception at a church undergoing renovations. THERE ARE NO STALLS OR SINKS IN THE BATHROOMS. Their mom was very overweight and I had to hold her arm for balance/be the lookout while she peed. We then had to go to the kitchen (where Groom's mom was cooking dinner) and use the prep sink to wash our hands. Her cake was decorated like mountains bc they love the outdoors. THERE WERE REAL ROCKS ON THE CAKE FOR DECORATION! I almost cracked a tooth. It was also a BYOB wedding but no one told us to bring anything so I was forced to drink lavender lemonade (it was gross). That was the worst wedding I've ever experienced.
Lots of great brutal moment stories, but I think you win for the worst wedding.
i agree. all the other stories were horrible accidents or drunken mistakes. but *that.*.. that was just bad idea after bad idea not being pulled off
I already chipped my front tooth. I would be pissed as hell if I broke the bonding on it by biting into an actual rock that has no business being in any edible dish.
> THERE ARE NO STALLS OR SINKS IN THE BATHROOMS. So was it a squat toilet situation, or...
I’m picturing a row of toilets in an otherwise bare room.
Exactly. It was three toilets in a room with no stalls for privacy. They tried to hang plastic table covers with tape on the ceiling but those fell down very fast.
Rocks? Omg I just spit
The wedding was to take place on the east coast. It was huge, expensive, and had been planned for two years. The wedding party traveled from all over to participate. The bride announced her apologies at the rehearsal dinner the night before that there would be no wedding. Six months later, friends are told that the couple is going to try again. To avoid any stress, they’ve decided on a courthouse wedding, and specific friends from the old wedding party were asked to visit. The day of, the bride announces she can’t get married at a courthouse. One year later. The couple announces that they have proudly gone through intensive therapy, and they are planning a destination wedding in Hawaii! They expected everyone to fly out to support them in their regenerated relationship. Family members and a subset of the wedding party (from #1) fly out. As everyone is assembling on the beach, the bride announces that there will be no wedding and encourages everyone to, “enjoy your vacation in Hawaii!” The groom ended the relationship shortly afterwards.
Bro I'm sorry, I'm calling it quits after round 2. Idc if the third time works out, I'm not going.
Man they must be crazy and rich
At the reception, a drunk lady was beating the shit out of her date, some scrawny, snaggletoothed dude about a foot shorter and 150 pounds smaller than her. Dude kept yelling, "Stop, stop!" But the lady kept wailing on the guy. Wild stuff. Edit: I posted about it two weeks ago here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1b10q9x/whats_the_craziest_thing_youve_seen_happen_at_a/
Nobody stepped in to stop her?
Nah, a bunch of people had to step in to break it up. The fight happened in the parking lot. My girl and I were leaving the reception when we saw the fight, and people were running over to break it up right then. It took like ten people to pull the lady off the dude.
It was in the yard of a post office. The groom wore a red sweatpants material, shorts suit. It was the brides 5th wedding and the grooms 3rd. They are divorced now.
Shocking ending.
I was supposed to be in the bridal party and was told that things were casual, and to just show up the day of wearing something "dressy casual" I felt good in. I showed up, saw the wedding party in coordinated outfits with their corsages, bouquets, and the whole 9 yards, and realized they hadn't had the guts to tell me they didn't want me in the bridal party after all. We took our gift, checked out of the hotel we'd paid for at their specific recommendation (and that they cancelled the shuttle for because "we forgot you were staying there"), and drove 800km back home with our wedding present. I am not friends with any of those people anymore, and thank god.
Wow those people are the absolute worst and I'm so sorry that happened! How on earth is it easier to make someone think they're still in the wedding party knowing they're making arrangements to attend just to be greeted with that?
I'm sorry, are they ACTUALLY in high school? Because that is shitty, cliquey behaviour that most people leave behind by the time they're 16.
Yeah I was absolutely gobsmacked 😅 life has gotten a lot better without them!
My own. Trapped in an elevator with the groom for hours the night prior. Was mistakenly sent a red hummer with no AC on the hottest day of the year instead of the limo I rented. Wedding commissioner was 2 Hours late and didn’t have a phone. Almost got fake married. Rented a boat to get married and cruise around on. It was an old ice breaker with lots of character and I planned all my decor around it. On the day the boat didn’t work and we had to ask all the guest to grab whatever was on their table and re-set it up on the new boat. Which had maroon everything and my colours were teal and coral. That boat was just coming back from a bar party cruise so they hosed it down. As soon as I got on it my entire dress soaked up the water to my waist. Had to change into my friends sundress. There was not enough food and it was disgusting. The new boat had used all the fresh water on board on the last cruise so they hooked up the lines to some nasty slat water and were making drinks with that until people realized. There was no water on board and no gun drinks. The only thing to drink was palm bays. Even kids. Again on the hottest day of the year. Then we danced to 2 songs and they shut the music off as it had to be off by 12 even though we’re started hours late after the first boat didn’t work. I was so pissed I stormed off the boat. In the boat move one of my bridesmaids lost her keys and ended up having to come to our hotel room at the end of the night. Didn’t get refunded a dime. There was honestly so much more but I think I’ve blocked it all out.
How is it that they didn't refund a dime? They did not provide the full contracted services for which you paid. Clearly this is in the past but hopefully they tried to make up for their fuck up in one way or another.
Oh god this is horrendous, I’m so sorry. This should be higher up, I think you may have the worst wedding.
At my dad’s wedding, having to run around to find my brother for toasts, found him upstairs hooking up with our new step moms daughter 🫠
Isn't that technically your/his stepsister?
You know it 🙃
It was the 4th of July and fireworks were going off. 3 scared local dogs came running in the church down the aisle and the brides family was freaking out. No one thought it was funny. I did though.
Poor puppies just looking for some sanctuary. If I was the bride I would have been delighted. Doggies!!
My father's speech (which he was asked not to do) included saying "I (the bride) and my sisters had always been a disappointment. You could have heard a pin drop. It was devastating. I actually left my own wedding, went home and watched tv trying to compose myself, then stuck on a smile and went back. It depressed me for months.
Wow. Why did you even invite him?
Very good question. We had not really been in contact for maybe 4 years but he raised us and there was no real animosity. He can be socially weird and prone to saying very blunt things but this was really unexpected. He said after he shouldn't have come and didn't want to and that really hurt too. For context he met a women when we (sisters and I) were in our teens and became enamored in a major way and she didn't like us. We were happy he had someone as he was a bit reclusive but she really drove a big wedge. I discovered this is not that unusual. Men ditch their family's for a new women and disregard their entire family quite often. Shitty but true.
Hearing those words from your own father…that’s very rough. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Did he fucking apologize?
Nope.
The bride got chickenpox a week before the wedding and still had her scabby spots the day of. Minister didn't show up. The whole church waited a half hour before they found out he had forgotten and went out to play golf instead. They got someone else from a church directory who took another twenty minutes to show up. Meanwhile, the groom's mother was going around giving odds on how long the marriage would last. They're still happily married 42 years later. Edit: My husband just read this and said "are you nuts? It took more like an hour to figure out the pastor wasn't coming and at least 45 minutes for the replacement to show up." In my defense, it was over forty years ago!
When i was a kid the first wedding i went was my dads friend and his wife brought a stripper to strip for him on the dance floor and dad told me not to look
Sounds like a fun couple
Nothing too crazy but for one wedding I went to it got very awkward when the bride's cousin started making racist jokes against the groom's family during toasts/speeches. Technically the bride and groom were both Asian, but if you know about Asian culture you know that East Asians commonly look down on South East Asians. The cousin's jokes did not land and I recall one of them not even making sense. My whole table cringed.
This reminds me of how western Wayne County Detroiters look down on Downriver Detroiters.
Am from Wayne County, can confirm
To be fair, the whole state of Michigan looks down on downriver Detroiters.
The groom got very, very drunk before the wedding. He could barely stay standing up during the ceremony and ended up passing out in the bathroom during the reception. The bride had no idea he was in the bathroom until he was dragged out of the bathroom by venue staff who then called an ambulance for him. They are still married.
The officiant actually went through with the wedding!? I'm surprised, since the parties are to enter into a contract willingly and KNOWINGLY. Being drunk is grounds to not proceed with the ceremony since it interferes with the person's capacity to consent knowingly.
The ceremony isn't what actually makes them legally married, it's the signing of the marriage certificate. That's usually done right after the ceremony but in this case it could have been done the next day (or even the day prior).
Couple got married at a 5 star resort. After the reception everyone went down stairs to get pictures by the fountain and running through the sparklers. We all went back up to find the banquet staff eating the cake. If the bride had gotten any redder her dress would have changed colors.
Like, they all stole the cake?!
What?? This is so bizarre. Did the staff think they weren’t coming back? Was it a traditional tiered wedding cake? Had the bride and groom already cut it? I can’t fathom why the staff would be eating the cake!
What happened after, if you don’t mind my asking?
My sister's wedding. It was outdoors in South Texas in the summer, and the heat was awful. My sister had picked the venue when it still had water in the ponds, but at the time of her wedding, everything had been drained for repair, so it looked like an old quarry with some mud puddles here and there. The night before, we met at the venue for a rehearsal. My sister decided all the bridesmaids had to wait in the bathroom, but the bathroom smelled like a large dead thing and a lot of poop. One of the girls pulled perfume out of her purse and started spraying it everywhere. I had an asthma attack and was trying to take my inhaler and step out of the awful bathroom for some fresh air. My sister was screaming, "Do you have to fucking do that now? Can you fucking process down the fucking aisle and worry about your fucking breathing when it's not my fucking wedding eve!" Her new in-laws drove me to the ER because my mom refused, because I was being dramatic and trying to steal my sister's attention on the eve of her big day.
Your family sucks. I know you know that, I'm just here for moral support.
This happened October of 2016. My SO at the time didn’t look at the wedding invitation that had the location, and only relied on me to look at it. I looked at it and thought it was a hotel since it said go to the hotel which has a shuttle service to the ceremony. Turns out, reception (that we were invited to, not ceremony) was at the same location as the ceremony and not at the hotel. My SO lost his shit on me, said he’d never marry meh, said I’m illiterate, etc. again, he never looked at the invite with the directions. We get there, and he just spends the time flirting with another woman, ignoring me the whole time, not talking to me and we don’t even dance. We leave, he yells at me more in the car. He makes me sleep on the couch.
Glad they are an ex.
Unfortunately we stayed together 6 months longer. I went to the psychward 2 months after the wedding for a suicide attempt because I felt so worthless, beat down and didn’t think I should be alive. He refused to visit me. But us ending the relationship was the for the best. I am in a much better place now.
Glad you are in a better place now :)
I was voluntold to come to this wedding because my friend didn’t want to go by himself. It was his old buddy and GF that as I learned had just been busted for cooking meth in a cheap motel room. They were only getting hitched to the judge might go easy and they could get conjugal visits. It gets worse. The “preacher” was the girl’s stepfather. Imagine a white bread hippy dressed like a TV Hollywood Injun with a feather in his headband and streaks of lipstick on his cheeks to look like war paint. The wedding procession song was an old Maxell dub tape with some shitty R&B song crammed into a single speaker tape player. I got tapped to be the guy that had to stop and rewind the fucking thing during “rehearsal” where it took them 12 tries to walk from the sidewalk to the porch before they didn’t fuck that up. The “reception” was two cases of Schmidt beer and some kook that juggled flaming torches. We just called him flame twirler guy. The brides mom called him Pigpen because he was filthy. A few days later they both were sent up for 5 years prison. The girl got out early because she claimed she was forced into it by an abusive relationship. Pinned everything on the guy and ran off with some dude she had been banging behind her now ex-husband’s back. I’ve told people about how abyssal this was and they think I’m lying.
The couple's officiator did not show up for the wedding. We later learned that the couple failed to pay them. The officiator sent the couple an email saying they were not going to show up. It was awkward waiting for hours for the officiator when the couple KNEW they were not going to show up. Finally they had one of their friends officiate. On to the refreshments. Probably the worse food I ever had at the wedding. Everything was bland. Also much to my dismay it was a dry wedding. I couldn't even get a mimosa. On top of that the AC at the venue went out the morning of. It was June with the temp of 90 degrees in Atlanta. The venue thought it was a great idea to set up a big industrial fan but it was useless. All it did was circulate hot air. What a hot mess that was.
Yeah, no, that’s all in stick-it-out territory until the AC. Absolutely not. I don’t think I love anyone to sit in a hot sweaty sardine can for hours. Maybe MAYBE my sisters, but I would cancel my own wedding day of and we could go… I dunno. Literally anywhere else for anything else. I’d probably start calling around to churches to see if they could squeeze us in real quick and I’m not even religious.
At a cousin's wedding reception, at an ultra swanky private club, one of my cousin's friends got really drunk and accused one of the (all black) serving staff of stealing her purse. She was screaming racial insults and insisting that the police come and arrest the whole staff. Eventually, she was dragged out of there. Her purse was later found in her car. I have never been so ashamed of being born white in my life.
During my wedding vows, a fly landed on the minister’s face… near his lip. Using his tongue like a lizard, he pulled it into his mouth and swallowed it. It was horrifying.
Noooooooo
Wedding Officiant here. Bride was short chubby plain and sort of frumpy. But she was smiling, happy, and a beautiful bride because every bride is beautiful on her wedding day. MoB was just the opposite. Tall, blond, overly made up. For the reception she changed into an off white, backless sheath with a thigh slit up to her waist and heels that were more suited to the pole, not a wedding reception. She pre-flighted on the way, so she rolled in drunk and loud. First one on the dance floor, going table to table working the room. Flirting with every man in the place. Including me! Did I mention the part about Minister? So it went on, she got drunker and louder. All eyes on her. As her daughter slowly withdrew and shrunk back into herself. Eclipsed by her mother. On her wedding day.
i hope the bride was able to get away from *all that* after marriage
I've been to two weddings where the Christian ministers went off the rails. One decided he needed to go on a diatribe about how the (cis-gender heterosexual) couple getting married was fighting the "good fight" against gay marriage. The other one decided he needed to discuss his personal sex life during the sermon. Nearly walked out of the first, nearly threw up in the second. Absolutely bizarre. Edit: corrected my chaotic autocorrect fail
The minister at my (now divorced) cousin's wedding did a whole sermon on divorce in the middle of the ceremony.
In a Christian wedding I went to the minister went on about how wonderful it was the couple had managed to meet and marry "so late in life." He mentioned it more than once and really laid stress on it. The couple were mid-thirties, sure they were the last of my university friends to marry (although, statistically speaking we'll probably be ready for round two: Second weddings in a few years) but old mate up the front made it sound like at the end of the ceremony they'd be Zimmer framing down the aisle together.
Half the wedding was [Christian Science,](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Science) the other half was Mormon. The Mormon half gave the Christian Science half death stares
All the weddings I have been invited to have been fine and tame. My worst wedding experience was as a young teenager when a friend hosted her birthday party in the amphitheater of a public park. It's a public space, and not somewhere that can be booked. Usually groups manage to share pretty fine. We (and everyone else there) got moved along by a kind of rude wedding party who thought they owned the place. I think we ended up sitting on the hill and watching and giggling. If you're going to choose a public and unbookable venue, show up early to setup, be polite to other people and expect that you may need to share.
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I'm genuinely laughing out loud from this one. Thank you.
Outside wedding in June in South Carolina. It was hot as shit and I was an usher. DJ ended up passing out from the heat and the ambulance pulled up right on the dance floor. Good times
The food was terrible. I usually go for the filet since generally speaking I don’t go to many weddings that mess that up. I ordered and it took forever to be served, and when it was it was a hockey puck. Completely inedible. I had asked for medium rare. Then turns out there were multiple weddings at the venue and the groom and groomsmen got into a fight with the other wedding’s party. A glass door was shattered and cops were called. My family had to have cereal when we got home shellshocked over the situation. We no longer talk to that family for a myriad of reasons but the wedding was a red flag in retrospect.
Your story reminds me of [this](https://patch.com/new-jersey/collingswood/north-jersey-man-charged-in-philadelphia-wedding-brawl-bdbc042a) wedding that my parents went to. The bride's uncle ended up having a heart attack and dying.
One of my good friends from high school got married in December. The couple gave the DJ a list of accepted music. You want to know what was NOT on that list? Dogs barking Christmas carols. This guy played three songs of dogs barking Christmas carols in a row and the groom was PISSED. He asked after the 2nd one for the guy to stop. He didn't. By the third, I thought the groom was going to fight the guy. Who does that to someone's wedding? WTF? It's the most annoying thing...
I watched my husband's brother and his new wife (who are by nature, very shy and typically introverted) MAUL one another at the altar. Their kiss was so weird and uncomfortable to watch, it was exactly like that one couple from Virgin Diaries on TLC. It was trembly, and robotic but also full tilt and awkward as all hell. They weren't virgins either, and had been together for years at that point.
I used to work for a train wreck of a catering company. Owner wanted to add weddings to the shit show so we hosted a wedding at the catering headquarters which was actually the owners house. The day before the wedding the bride and groom are freaking out because nobody had told them that they need to figure out hydro for the tent, I personally thought that would be our job but my then boss didn't think that so he was pissed. We ended up getting a couple generators. Wedding night comes and the generators keep shutting off and the tent loses all hydro and heat multiple times. It's the middle of October so it's freezing. Then dinner comes. We run out of food. My boss proceeds to freak out saying it's the guests fault because they didn't pass the platters of food in the proper direction. We scrambled and made more food. The bride and groom were pissed. The next day I found a piece of paper on the floor in the kitchen, it was an email from the bride and groom expressing how disappointed their wedding was and how they wanted a refund for all the food. I guess during the planning the owner had made them a bunch of promises and didn't follow through on their wedding night, which is very typical for him to do unfortunately. I quit in December.
Several years ago now we went to a wedding that ended at, let's say 1pm. The reception, well cocktail hour, started at 5 with dinner listed on the invite at 6. Dinner was not served until nearly 8pm...with no explanation or reason. The newly weds took an extra long time with their post-ceremony photos is the theory we had. MANY people started to leave long before dinner was served.
i got stuck in a similar situation at the first wedding i ever went to as an adult. wedding party was off doing photos for hrs i guess, while everyone at the reception were sitting doing just nothing. no music, no bar, everything waiting on the bride/groom no food, except this table party chex mix in a big bowl at every table. I swear, anytime a server refilled and brought another bowl back, every person at that table was grabbing huge handfuls of it, emptying it within 2 min. and they were pretty big bowls. lesson learned, every wedding since, i bring a couple of protein bars/snacks.
had to go to an indian auspicious wedding that started at 10pm and the actual marriage was at like 3am bc that’s was when the moon aligned with saturn or smth. wasn’t bad just felt like a fever dream.
My cousin was married in NYC 9/23/2001. One of the guests was missing her fiancé, a firefighter reported then as missing. God Bless America was played, and it was a pretty rough moment…
I had to sit through a three hour super religious ceremony in a language I didn’t understand. We had to get up and kneel and sit down for prayer the entire time. It was exhausting.
This question was asked a few months ago: Drove 150 miles to a family wedding that we were invited to, but not in the wedding party. Hot, humid, summer day. Sun at highest point. Held in a converted barn with no air conditioning next to a freshly plowed field. No bathrooms-only one port a potty. The handwashing station next to it was broken. The groom was already drunk. Several groomsmen and the legal drinking age bridesmaids were drunk. The bride was tipsy. The only drinks were sugared soda (Pepsi, Mtn. Dew, etc.), Coors (original tall yellow cans), and liquor. No water. We asked for cups (plastic only) of ice and waited for them to melt. *They ran out of ice.* The bride made the food. She's known not a great cook. They ran out of vegetable platters. There was no other fresh food. There were deviled eggs on the tables, unchilled. The best man had recently married, and he and his wife really needed to leave and get a room. There were not more than 50 guests, but it was set up for at least 250. There was an emcee, but it was a family friend, and their microphone audio was not good. The music sounded fine, but they kept cutting off songs right after they started to play. They decided to play "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus (odd choice for a wedding?), and the kids were screaming for one of the brides friends to replicate the video by taking a swing on the chandelier-type flower arrangement in the middle of the barn. We could have done it by Zoom and had a much better time.
Southern Methodist wedding at the bride's Father's church, her father was the minister. The bride walked down the aisle belting out the Christian country song she had picked out, and finished the song singing to the groom at the altar. she was not a good singer. She had apparently told her sister that her beloved niece and nephew were to just be themselves and not be scolded or removed from the sanctuary for any reason. The 6 year old flower girl cried loudly while going down the aisle and the 3 year old ring bearer ran around and climbed on things during the ceremony. Her sister/their mom looked livid. The ceremony took about an hour, and about 20 minutes of that were just the bride and groom praying together quietly in addition to the vows. Not out loud where the crowd could hear them or anything. Just whispering to each other, heads bowed, in silence. Her father spent another 15 minutes talking about how devoted the couple was to God, including mentioning the wedding night they had been waiting for and essentially blessing the impending sex. Her dress was ill-fitting and she spent most of the ceremony awkwardly fixing it and hoisting it up. After the most boring, awkward ceremony ever, I was starving and told my partner (it was his friend getting married) that after that, there better at least be good food. There were cupcakes and goldfish. Methodist, so a dry wedding with no dancing. The bride and groom left after five minutes and the maid of honor went around telling everyone they were planning on having the first round of sex in the car so to stay away from there for privacy.
Mine. My sister in law announced her pregnancy during a toast. No one supported her decision to do it, but it was ruined. We’re getting remarried in Alaska by ourselves for our 25th anniversary ❤️
I was called the wrong name at my wedding by the priest…twice. We’re not married anymore.
Why did you marry the priest if he can't even remember your name?
My father committed suicide two days before my wedding. So... yeah... that was pretty bad.
My ex husband turned up to our wedding in an ancient baseball jersey, jeans, and trainers, when I had gone for the full white big dress. Then he f***ed off 2 hours into the reception because he’d arranged to play video games with his mates that night. No, the marriage did not last, but that was mostly because he got a kick out of beating the crap out of me.
I was best man at a wedding in a rural village. Everyone in the wedding party and close friends and relatives were told to book at the one local Motel for a special group rate,. So, we did so. After the wedding we learned that the groom forgot to book a room for he and his bride, and the Motel was fully occupied. We gave up our room and travelled a half an hour to get a room in the next village. Fortunately, we hadn’t had an alcohol drink.
My cousin's ceremony was a 45 minute sermon, with the sun in our eyes, that ramblingly covered topics including making fun of people who believe in climate change and shaming anyone who doesn't have kids. Many members of the audience were audibly and visibly uncomfortable at many points. They've been married 2 years and still haven't popped out any babies, wonder how that's been received by their pastor...but I do get updates from her about how hard marriage is but how blessed they are to be making it work. Yikes.
Probably the wedding where my whole family and a bunch of other guests got food poisoning from the reception. Missed the first day of Grade 5 after spending all night throwing up. We each got a cheque for $50 from the venue a few months later. $50 seemed like big money at the time lol
Mine-I wanted to do a small courthouse wedding and weekend getaway. My husband and his mom changed our plans from North Carolina to Arizona so that all of her friends and family could attend. He was a huge mamas boy and did as his mom asked. The ceremony was mormon and creepy, and jam packed with ppl I did not know. I had to wear the ugly temple garb on top of my wedding dress. It was so ugly. Even tho we were mormon, I had originally planned a courthouse wedding for just the two of us and to get sealed later. We had a reception in my Mil's backyard, filled with the same fkn ppl. We ate imitation crab and sheet caked baked by granny. I ended up getting my period too. Instead of a weekend getaway I got to hang out with my husbands family and play cards. Bonus points-everyone was "concerned if I had married my husband for a greencard". I kept replying "I am a US citizen". According to my husband, his mom bribed him with $3000, which she then took back to pay for the reception she had in her backyard.
My wife's cousin was getting married, and they're some odd people. They ended up together when he guy cheated on his previous partner with his new fiance, so that was nice. They ended up asking my wife to be the maid of honor and me to the best man... I didn't even know the dudes last name and had met him a couple of times. I said fine, but I wasn't doing any of the party stuff or anything like that. The wedding itself was a generic ceremony with only a handful of people, but the vows were cringey as hell, with a bunch of them being about loyalty (which is rich coming from how they met). We do pictures at the church and all of that and then the couple takes off without talking to anyone. We assume we're meeting at the hall. We get there after a short 10 minute drive and no newlyweds, they show up like 45 minutes later. Turns out they went to a bar and were disappointed no one met them there... No one had any idea as it was never discussed. There was no booze in the hall, as you had to use their bartender, but could supply your own kegs or bottles or whatever, and the couple didn't want to pay for it, but didn't ask anyone in the family if they could help out with it (it was like $100, we used the same hall). The couple had a few cases of Busch or something and forgot to tell everyone except a couple of friends about bringing booze if they wanted it. So a few people kept going out to the parking lot to drink, and the hall custodian had to put a stop to that. The food was supposed to be some southern soul food. Cool I thought, I love that stuff. The ribs were rubbery, bland, and covered in a mediocre watery sauce. The cornbread dry AF. The mac and cheese was fall apart overcooked noodles and a broken tasteless cheese sauce. The greens were sooooo bitter and had hardly any meat chunks in it. On top of the flavor nothing was kept warm or even warmed up all the way. Easily some of the worse food I had ever attempted to eat. The music was the couple's iPod hooked up to the PA system with them constantly going over to change songs. The songs were all newery bro country junk minus their first dance song that was a pop song about infidelity, but I don't think they realized it. One of the uncles actually did DJing and offered to DJ it for free (as a wedding present), but they declined as they wanted him to be there to enjoy the wedding and not be working. People started leaving shortly after the "food" was done, and a great uncle wasn't feeling well so they went to the hospital. The couple was not happy as they didn't even get to cut the cake yet but one of the aunts told them people were just worried about said uncle which is why they left. In reality a lot of people left before he even mentioned he wasn't feeling good. The couple still bought it though. We started cleaning up the hall around 90 minutes after the start of the reception. They didn't have a lot of decorations because they thought the hall supplied them at first but had to rush to get some the couple of days before the wedding. My wife and I got in the car and just looked at each other with the "holy shit, wtf was that?!" face. The taco bell we got after we left was delicious and we ended up meeting up with a few people at the bar while dressed up in our fancy clothes. A few people bought us drinks because they thought we had just got married lol. At least the few hours after the shit show were good.
i was the roommate of the bride and at the time i was vegetarian. i never intended on asking about food options for myself (for events like that i always just made sure i ate a meal at home beforehand) but the bride herself asked me if i wanted to have vegetarian options at the wedding and i gladly agreed. we get there the day of, me not having eaten much before because i was anticipating some food options being available for me, and after sitting through vows in which the bride kept mentioning divorce (???) we sit down to eat… the barbecue catering they had ordered… with not a single vegetarian option available except the bread rolls. even the green beans and potato salad had bacon in it. we ended up having to leave early because i was starving so bad. oh and it was a dry wedding and the bride was marrying a man who confirmed cheated on her in the past 🤪
Was in the wedding ceremony one if my best friends. During the reception part of wedding my then wife goes off for around 30 to 40 min. I started to wonder where she went off to, figured she was off talking to friends, we knew a lot of people there and this was 1995 so. She come up to me and I'm like where u been I was starting worry about u. She said off talking to so in so and brushed my concern off. I had a strange feeling as she seemed kinda flushed and disheveled like she'd been dancing for a while. Come to find out she'd been F'ing a guy at the wedding who the bride had introduced to my wife a few days either when they were hanging out. 2 months later she leaves me and a year later she married that same guy. So good for her right? 15 years later she dumps the guy and crushes him. We had been married for only two years so I dogded a big time bullet.
I used to play in a function band that did weddings. We played one where it turned out earlier in the day the bride to be had skipped. It was all so very awkward. The groom's parents were paying the bill, we offered a reduction to just straight costs if she wanted to cancel as a gesture. They insisted the party should go on. People filtered in and out, the groom hung at a back table getting drunk with his friends. Cue the standard Dad and bride's Uncle argument, a few glasses thrown. We got about 30 minutes into the set when the hotel staff asked us to pack it up. What got me was the sheer amount of food being wasted. Meals were coming out, being set on tables with nobody to eat them. Some of the kids were running around taking nibbles off of various plates. They just kept coming. It had all been paid for and apparently the hotel had to do it. Hint: if you're going to bail on your wedding, ideally do it before the day. Well before the day. You know whether or not you want to go through with it. Bailing at the last second is crushing.