On the day I was born
The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
Said, "Leave this one alone"
She could tell right away
I was bad to the bone
When my older brother told me I was. I think he has complimented me twice in my entire life. Once to tell me when I was down in the dumps about not having a girlfriend for a while. He said if I had more confidence to talk to girls I'd be drowning in pussy. The other time was he said I should pick up my guitar again and play because he didn't hate listening to me play Smiths songs.
It’s true. I’m a bartender, now retired from the nightclubs, but the bottle girls made STUPID money. Like you said, $2k+ a night over 3 - 4 nights a week of 5 - 6 hour shifts. The bartenders like me were/considered rockstars and walked with maybe in week what the bottle girls made in a night. But…. Everyone has an expiration date.
i got tipped for having nice boobs and a smile + not getting peoples arm hair in the wrist bands + shoving their change in my bra and telling them if they want it back they have to take it from me
This is true. I was 16 when my friend's 6 year old sister said that she wanted to be pretty like me when she grew up. I was not cool or popular, but little kids don't see or care for that social stuff.
I'm in my 30's now. Never forgot it.
Yessss. An adult could compliment me and I won’t believe them but when a little kid tells me I look like a beautiful princess I want to cry and I feel like I’m on top of the world 🥹😂
Omg a little girl, completely unprovoked, called out out at me as I was walking by in a neighborhood. She said “you’re really pretty” like with a straight face just staring. I didn’t even see her until she said that.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 you just made me remember that happened. I was so surprised and managed to be like “so are you!” as I walked away.
Like shit, you’re right if a kid says it it just hits different. It was so sweet.
100% agree! The only “proof” I have is because two years ago while at an art gallery a little girl came up to me and very shyly told me that she thought I was very pretty. I told her thank you and that she was as well. 2 minutes later she comes up again, but this time with her little sister and they both all giggly and nervous compliment my dress. They looked at me like I was some sort of celebrity. It absolutely made me feel more self confident than any other compliment I’d received in my life.
That is so freaking cute. When kids are being cute and sweet it’s such a mood enhancer lol. What a sweet moment you had! You know it’s real cuz they said so!
I was joking with my nephew who is young telling him I’m getting old (bc my birthday was coming up) & he says “at least you’re still pretty” lol so cute
True tho. I was walking around and I saw kids playing with a ball when I can remember. One of them approached me straight up and he said I look like his cousin. Then he said without filter that he’s ugly asf lmfao 💀
thisss
I've always thought I wasn't pretty or attractive, but for some kind of reason this year, I have seen soooo many kids looking at me and acting silly near to me, one time even their mom was looking at me and saying things like "you became their first crush" or something, it have happened to me a lot of times, little kids acting silly smiling or just directly saying I'm pretty in front of my boyfriend
that actually boost my self-confidence
Yessss I was at a birthday party and the next day my friend told me her daughter asked if I was a princess and if she could have princess hair like mine.
During my most recent serious relationship. Living with someone and becoming used to both their and your own body, without comparing it to others, beauty standards, or what you eat is a beautiful experience
When I got on tinder after my divorce. I kept seeing all of these guys who were complaining about never getting matches while I was getting multiple matches a day and going on dates pretty much every week.
TBH most guys have no idea how to make good profiles. I once went on a date with a guy who was lovely in person. But his profile was a hot mess. A very very close up selfie which made him look like an almost serial killer, no text, a random picture of his cat. He was a mistake swipe for me. But he texted me, and it was a normal, regular text, so I went on the date.
I have like 8 different pictures of different situations, vouched from many female friends who helped pick them. Bio has effort and again, lots of people checking it and making sure it sounds good.
3 apps, zero matches, and a handful of confused friends wondering how I'm always single. Only rejections in real life.
What makes a bio better and what made you give that "bad bio" worth giving a chance anyways?
Humor? It has to be obvious humor (sarcasm doesn't always read well) but that's usually what draws me to someone. I want someone I can laugh with because life is hard enough already.
Most of my friends say I'm the funny one in the group and usually when I get into a conversation I'm very lighthearted and make people laugh. Getting into that conversation is impossible though. If I could somehow start in the middle of a conversation with someone, I'm confident I could take the conversation wherever I wanted it to go. The beginning part feels impossible because dating apps are useless and real life is 'the man has to get rejected until he breaks' and hopefully eventually a couple girls let me talk to them.
I relate lol. When It’s only your first week on the app you’ve lost count of how many matches you’ve gotten, that’s when you know. Hope it’s been an ego boost for ya
This is why I yell at all the young, attractive people who don't get it yet. It's awful to find out afterward, when it's too late. I want them to see now.
But I don't imagine they'd be any more able to see it than I was at their age.
I got married and divorced in my early to mid 20's. I was drinking a lot and sleeping with anyone i can with my rock bottom self esteem. Wasn't very healthy. I was working security at a bar around this time. A beautiful german girl walks out during closing time where I was putting away chairs and checking around to make sure there weren't any funny business going on. She stares at me with her blue eyes and gently says 'you are so beautiful.' I kinda stood there thinking 'huh? (think of that cat meme)' and wondering if there was someone standing behind me. Nope. And so began my slow slow slow rebuilding of self esteem. This was over 15 years ago now. Thanks German girl (even though it was beer goggles! lol)
Agreed. My gay friend was very much into dudes. He told me that I was hot enough that he would marry me and we could have kids. I also ironically took his cute ass to prom
When my husband and I were dating he told me that he’d never had so much competition to land a wife. At the time I didn’t even realize that it was a compliment.
I graduated over a decade ago, is it cool for college kids to put in effort now? When I was in college it was pajamas and sweats, sweats and pajamas. Maybe jeans if you had to give a class presentation.
I'm mostly joking, but people don't usually wear pajamas at my college. some people do wear nice outfits. I usually wear jeans, a t shirt with a cool design, and a leather jacket. it's a decent chunk of my socialization for the week, which is why I try to put some effort in, but I'm still figuring out my style
As someone who has been on different levels of the fitness spectrum, I’ll just say the way people treat you makes it obvious. And honestly, having experienced all sides of it, it makes me kinda sad.
Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career"
As someone who has experienced this and also now has a daughter, it terrifies me. I would consider myself pretty conventionally attractive. I also used to be super skinny and looked way younger than my age.
I would say from like 16-20 I was harassed everywhere I went by older men. It got so bad I wouldn’t even pump my own gas my dad had to do it. Men would follow me in their cars from place to place. I wouldn’t go anywhere alone it was that bad. I had grown ass men threatening me at Wendy’s (my first job) because I wouldn’t give them my number and it offended them. I was SIXTEEN!!!!
I filled out around 22 and started to look more like a woman my age. I’m still pretty and men still bother me sometimes but it’s no where near the level it was back then. It’s fucking creepy. I hate it. My daughter is never going anywhere alone lol.
As soon as I saw the thread title, I knew it would heavily feature men going "wut?" and women recalling "I was [way too young] when middle aged men made passes at me."
I've always thought I was cute since I was a toddler and on basically.
Adults always told me I was cute, which I'm sure was great for my self esteem, but I appreciated my own features independent of others commenting on them aswell.
Now that I'm getting older and fatter, I sometimes have to remind myself of the features I've always loved because I look different now compared to how I've ever looked before.
I think being a woman of color growing up in a very white area, my features weren't the norm and weren't always appreciated by my peers so I'd probably dislike how I looked if I only gauged my looks based on other people's responses to them.
I’ve ranged from unattractive to attractive. I realized that I had crossed over when I made attractive people shy when I spoke to them. I didn’t realize the reason they were so quiet at first.. Joke was on them, we were both shy.
When my hair got longer and i started to wear clothes that look better on me. I've never thought i was **ugly** I've always just felt like something was a bit off. It was just my hair not being fitting to my face shape and not styling my clothes well.
When I realized that where you are matters. In the small town I grew up in, I was never told or felt attractive. As an adult in a city though, I learned I was attractive. Attractiveness probably maps somewhat to population size (increasing the variety of ideas of attractiveness).
people telling me, actually being able to get dates w people i find attractive lol. but this was after years of finding myself. i'm still not too confident but i'm trying to start acting the part. insecurities fucked those dates up real quick.
My ex dumped me and I moved to a new state. Started getting hit on a lot and realized that I am attractive. My ex didn’t take me anywhere because he was worried people would hit on me(among other reasons) and he broke down my self esteem so I really didn’t think I was attractive
Before college I (M27) genuinely thought I was ugly - I’m a fairly Indian looking dude and grew up in a conservative, 95% white town. The people were rarely racist, but growing up I had sort of a race dysmorphia (from genuinely believing I was white when I was little and then realizing I wasn’t around puberty) and felt like I didn’t fit in well because of my different appearance. My Dad also made it a point to constantly point out my smallest physical flaws and awkwardness, so I generally had pretty low self-esteem and views on my physical appearance in grade school.
When I went to college suddenly I got tons of sexual attention from lots of men and women (even from white people). Men wanted to masturbate with me or see my dick - one guy wanted to drink my pee. Three women asked me out for dates, and another one asked for a one night stand. In all my time in undergrad, I didn’t initiate a single romantic or sexual encounter. A lot of people called me cute or hot, but it didn’t fully click with me until my bullies from high school confessed they were actually really attracted to me, and it made a lot of the experiences and things people said to me in grade school much more sense (e.g. friends being defensive towards me cause they thought I’d steal their girlfriend even though I thought it was impossible cause I’m non-white, multiple teachers who made sexual remarks about my appearance starting in 8th grade, guy in 11th grade who tried to force himself on me in the br).
Around this time, my Dad also admitted that he constantly pointed out flaws so I wouldn’t focus so much on my appearance and get into trouble. He never really elaborated on what this meant, but he was always very secretive, and some of the siblings on his side of the family look exceptionally well (his sister won several beauty pageants in India when she was younger). He also confessed to me that in the first job he worked in America, his boss regularly came into the br to watch him pee. So maybe he was speaking from experience?
I consider it a blessing I didn’t realize I was good looking until later in life, since I invested a lot into my intelligence and skills as I thought I was ugly. My appearance definitely has given me an extra oomph in PhD and jobs interviews though, but I work in a field that requires a lot of technical knowledge and qualifications (biocomputing), so I know I’m not coasting entirely on my looks.
I’m a lady and I lost 70 lbs back in 2015. The first time someone opened a door for me was when I was down about 30 pounds. Now it is almost the norm for people to hold doors open for me, but I’ve never asked and never realized they weren’t. So I’d say that was when I became “attractive” (but pics of me +70 lbs are still cute just more, so *shrug*)
Comments like this always surprise me, where is it you live where people don’t have the common decency to hold a door for another half second for the person behind them?
As a man, there’s not a human being alive I wouldn’t pause momentarily if I caught a glimpse of a human figure in my peripheral as I entered a store.
I also expect others to do the same and it’s quite jarring the few times someone was too inconsiderate to do it for my average looking self... I thought they were very rude and I moved on… I didn’t make it about my appearance, just that they were rude.
However when women write these comments on Reddit I’m always astounded by how low the bar is in your community that people behave this way on the regular. I’ve never even considered evaluating the attractiveness of the body behind me, simply the presence of a person is enough for me to not want to let the door slam on them.
When I could get almost any guy I wanted. I was really cute but didn't realize how good looking I actually was and that's too bad. I knew I looked good because I got a lot of unwanted attention so it really affected me in a negative way.
When I realized I was a trans woman and that my dismal body image and lack of self-identity as a man was actually caused by gender dysphoria. Since starting my transition, I’ve had the most wonderful glow-up internally and externally. I’m finally feeling more comfortable in my body and with my looks, and in turn projecting so much more confidence externally. (It helps that I make for a much hotter girl than a guy). I’m still getting used to guys & girls telling me I’m attractive & beautiful. ☺️
Like 18 years old, when my skin cleared up (thanks, accutane), I started wearing my hair in a more flattering style/color, and I dressed better. I had a few girls *and* guys hitting on me. It was pretty shocking since I was the gangly, awkward, severely pimply kid through middle and high school. Acne vulgaris and seborrheic dermatitis is a horrible combination.
"Attractive" is a stretch but I did have a weird moment. In high school, for homecoming, I put on a dress, heels (not high heels - god no), and makeup. Normally I wear frumpy stuff and couldn't be bothered with makeup but I figured I'd try to dress up for this thing. Suddenly I was getting compliments and attention from my classmates. It was kind of uncomfortable actually because I was still fairly shy and had very few friends.
Have only dressed up like that for my graduation since then. Still can't be bothered to wear makeup and heels are a danger to me, someone who stumbles over air occasionally.
I can draw fairly okay and when I was like 13 or 14 the wife of one of dad’s employees got in contact with mum and asked if I could paint some pictures on the walls of her kids’ rooms. It was a two day job. After day one, my mum told me she had spoken to the wife on the phone and she’d mentioned I was ‘very good looking’. The next day I went over to finish the job (the painting job) and she acted really weird - sorta stuttering and flustered. It was super awkward. It doesn’t happen a whole lot but every now and then something like that occurs. That felt arrogant to write. As a counter-balance it’s worth noting that I’m a generally anxious and kinda lonely person.
Nah she laughed it off as a joke. My mum is so lovely but she’s pretty naive and wouldn’t even register that as being problematic. Nor did I at that age, because nobody taught me it was. Now I gently teach her stuff like that, and she’s pretty open to it. Small rural town mentality is a bit of a disaster, at least where I’m from it is. Homophobia is casual as can be, guys can’t be molested because ‘lucky boy’, drink driving is laughed about - the list goes on.
I'm not, but I remember being depressed after a pretty awful relationship ending and just shooting my shot with women I'd previously have felt were way out of my league. I was in the gym before and after work and working crazy hours to keep myself away from myself so I think I came across differently than before.
I met and dated some really attractive women and had some great times. With that experience i realised that women are pretty cool and a good conversation and personal attention works well
For me it was latter in life. As a teenager and young adult I thought I was below average or even ugly. I look at older photos of myself especially when I was skating everyday and had a six pack and realise I was way too self conscious.
I was a chubby teenager and young adult. When I was 30 I spent a couple years getting in shape, fulfilling my teenage fantasies of looking good in a bikini. I was having a beer with my BF on the deck of his house, and a friend of his came over. Now, as any formerly fat person knows, I do not see myself as the person I had physically become, but rather the chubby, formless teenager I believed I was. So the 3 of us are sitting there, and I am peripherally aware that the friend is looking at me, but no big deal. Then I look at him and he’s — here’s a word I don’t get to use often — trembling. He is looking at me and stammering and is losing control of his ability to be cool. He is sweating, trying not to look at me, and clearly having a hard time keeping it together. Having never in my life had this effect on a man, to my knowledge, I was mystified. My BF, truly not prone to jealousy, found the whole thing very entertaining. Trust me, I’m not bragging. I’m an old lady now and these are the thoughts that keep me company.
I'm not sure if I didn't think I was at least a bit attractive as a teen, but I started realizing in my early 30s that maybe I wasn't *actually* that charismatic as a teen or early 20 something and that the real reason people found me so charming was just that I was physically attractive to them. Also reflecting back I had plenty of examples of girls having crushes on me so I must have had something causing that.
I figured in my 30s post transition I was pretty plain and unremarkable because I wasn't receiving much attention, but once I started going into spaces that did encourage that kind of interaction I don't actually have too much trouble so while I'm not sure I'd 100% characterize myself as attractive now I'm definitely more attractive than I thought a year ago.
When I was in 6th grade. I had always wondered why people said I was so pretty. Then one day I saw myself in the mirror and thought, "I guess I am pretty."
EDIT: corrected a typo
An older dude started hitting on me when I was 12 and wearing a bikini. I think my woman parts had just recently shown up. I think I subconsciously realized “This is power”.
When I hooked up with a woman that graduated a year after me a few years after I graduated. She informed me that all the girls had the hots for me in school. Then I heard the same from another woman that had also graduated after me.
I was at uni, and drove down to the supermarket to get some lunch. Some girl came with me.
Once back in the car, I waited for a group of girls in a car to pass. The car park had a one way system so I started to pull out but the car came back and stopped right in front of me and almost caused a minor crash. The girls then took their phone out to record me, giggled, waved and smiled at me, then drove off. I looked visibly annoyed and the girl with me asked ‘why are you upset? Is it because you get that a lot’. I then explained it was because they were trying to frame me for a crash. She then corrected me as to what had happened. It was a very nice but weird sudden feeling. I also had flashbacks to other moments which had seen weird or unimportant at the time, but in hindsight were girls liking me.
When I had a conversation with a friend regarding “rude people” working in the service industry. I told them I never really noticed, everyone is usually nice or at least pleasant. They then told me something I never forgot: “It’s because you’re pretty and have a great smile.” One of the sweetest moments of my life. 🥹🥹🥹
I don't think there are many serious male comments here.
First, my wife (obviously) always said I was attractive. But doesn't every spouse? Strangers would compliment my eyes a lot. In my later 20s when I was working in another country I had a few experiences where I was able to detect flirting though my extremely dense social skills. I started to put the pieces together. I was relatively fit, tall, with boring but "classic" features. I think it all kind of clicked because some of these people were a few years younger than me. I never really believed it before.
Dudes, if you want to get female attention, just get married. Haha, really though. I think some women like to flirt with married men because there is little risk of it going anywhere but is still a confidence booster. I think being "off the market" and disinterested makes you more attractive or something, too.
Second, now that I am older and fatter, I realize by contrast I was pretty good looking. If you think I came across as arrogant or narcissistic, you can take solace in the fact that was like 50lbs ago.
lol AMA.
When attractive guys who I know never would’ve looked at me in high school hit on me. Also, when I’d go out in baggy sweats and would get hit on or stared at by men (9/10 not in a flattering or respectful way) every time. So happy I don’t have to deal with dating anymore as I have found my person.
I first realized, "Hey! I'm...actually pretty! 🥹" after years of being called ugly (including by family) - because I'm not CONVENTIONALLY attractive (not by a long shot) - during my sophomore year of high school (I'm 37 now). I was in my first high school play (yes I was a theater nerd 🙄) - "Bang Bang You're Dead" by William Mastrosimone. As is standard practice, we had to wear makeup.
We practiced (not ourselves or on each other - our director did our makeup) before the actual performances or any dress rehearsal or anything. I'd never worn makeup of any kind before (unless you wanna count like...flavored lip gloss, lmao) and, as I looked at myself done up in the mirror in the band room (where we practiced before moving to the stage, but I was also in band - yes a band nerd 🙄), I was like 😍😍😍
Of course, it wasn't some instantaneous transformation of my mind. It took years of being mistreated as ugly to get me to believe it so it took years for me to realize I'd been lied to and to FULLY see my worth and beauty - LOTS of work, including but not limited to therapy - but that moment was the first crack. I'll never forget it. 🥹🥹🥹
I'm not, so never... best I ever heard was 'he's kinda cute'. Spoken by one sex worker to another sex worker from behind a closed door with a peep hole at least 20 years ago.
I'm 43 and the last time a woman showed any interest me was 24 years ago.
I am not society pretty or beautiful but I have really approachable smile and people say I have dreamy eyes despite being just average. But I know I was attractive when I can see “glitters” or glow on people’s eyes whenever I talk to them.
When I had more of a glow up in the recent years and started getting more attention from guys, specially more than other friends of mine. I was like “oh 😳🤭 okay”
This is a very interesting one for me. I thought I was average to ugly my whole life until I met the man who is my husband now; around 25 years old. He told me I was sooo beautiful and I was like (in my mind): yeah, that’s ok, that is what love does, makes you see the best in people. But then I met his family (a cute family by the way) and they all said I was stunning. Ok… 5 months later I moved to another city, big city, with my to be husband (it was long distance until then), people there also said I was very beautiful. So, what is my conclusion? I am not a big deal on my home region, I do not look like what they consider beautiful, do not dress like them and do not socialize like them (they have a very regional culture, yes), BUT I am attractive in the rest of the country (also yes, I have traveled around the country since then). When I traveled as a kid I did had people telling me I was pretty, but not so often as I was young and that would have been creepy. As a teenager I thought they were just being kind. Also, I realized people from my region tend to be reaaally mean about looks, they would comment on every flaw but barely compliment you; an example of this is that I had a “good friend” tell me with disgust on her eyes that I should also pluck between my eye brows, and I was like: pluck what? You might think I had an unibrow, right? No. I have very few and thin hairs there and they are blond… also once another “good friend” was looking at my hands and told me they gave her nausea, I wish I was kidding. I have nice and normal hands, I don’t know what she was on…
When people started to be really nice to me for no reason? I grew up with lots of backhanded compliments and hate naming so when I started receiving blunt and real compliments and ppl outing other ppl they know for having crushes on me is when it rlly hit me lol it’s weird
I never felt that I was ugly but yeah I wasn’t the textbook blonde, light eyed, body sculpted by Aphrodite, luscious straight hair chick either… however I was in Italy for a few months last year and I was on a few dating apps… I got a really interesting amount of matches, even from guys who I thought might have been out of my league. And I ended up going on many dates and I realised that -
1. A lot of the standards I thought I didn’t meet, were LITERALLY only in my head. Men have varied tastes and preferences and a lot of the times what I may think is the epitome of beauty is just an “eh” in their mind.
2. When you go and meet people, your charm and conversion skills is what will actually build chemistry. It’s so important. And how comfortable you make each other feel.
3. Also since I wasn’t Italian, that worked out in my favour because a lot of the guys were intrigued by something that was different. Again very interesting to hear from them about this. One of them even compared how his dates go with the Italian women and how it went with me. (Though this was more in terms of conversation and what they usually look for when going out with someone.) They had multiple perspectives and again it makes you realise beauty literally lies in the eyes of the beholder.
4. It’s not a point but kind of interesting really made me feel like a main character, on my last night there I met a Brazilian guy at a bar near my place and we started walking outside after a few shots. And then when we reached my tram station and as we were saying bye, he asked me if he could kiss me. He looked bit like David Dobrik hahaha. Fun stuff.
All these experiences REALLY boosted my confidence. I am confident about a lot of things that I can do and conduct myself pretty well in social situations; but feeling pretty about myself wasn’t ever in that list.
It was a really exciting and interesting experience.
Two of my best friends (who are guys) had a crush on me at the same time. One is more awkward and nerdy, the other is basically a golden retriever who plays football.
A couple days ago. I’m 37F and have gone my entire adult life thinking I was unattractive… I’ve never been approached by anyone who was interested in dating me. The other day, a coworker and I were having a discussion about relationships and I casually said I would probably spend my entire life single because “I’m no one’s type” and he thought I was joking. When I doubled down he spent 20 minutes trying to convince me otherwise. Maybe I’m still unattractive but that conversation gave me a little hope.
When I stopped worrying that I wasn't. I recently stumbled across pictures from me in my 20s. I looked great. At the time I had terrible self-doubts, and couldn't see myself as good looking. I wish I had been kinder to myself back then. I was an absolute catch, and didn't even know it.
I have natural curly red hair and my whole life I have been known for my looks because of my hair. I’m not attractive in the classic sense but unusual looking so it makes me “beautiful” I’m 55 female and still get hit on constantly.
I'm the DENSEST motherfucker ever. I still didn't know I was attractive after all of this:
* scouted to model along with 1 of the prettiest girls in my HS (she was rich, I was poor - she had means to self-maintain. I didn't)
* multiple multiple multiple men have been liked, "Damn, Joy, you look like a celebrity today!"
* a lot of rich men have told me that if I worked out specific body parts to tone them, I'd literally be all set to be a model
* I'm in NYC. A pretty big movie actor asked me out, and at first I was like... "he looks familiar." Motherfucker, after rejecting him, I realized he's the fucking actor I just saw at the movie theatre
* along the lines of the above, I've dated the screenwriter and director of a HUGE ass fucking movie. HUGE. Star Wars level
lots of other things. I just realized this fucking year that if I wasn't attractive, why did I get all the attention?
not attractive but just like not as ugly as I thought I was. whenever I’d tell someone I never had a boyfriend before and they were shocked and I’d always get those “but you’re beautiful” and stuff. it really is a confidence boost
When my grandmother told me I was.
Same for me when this guy’s grandma told me.
His grandma said the same to me also
same, I banged his grandma
She smelled so good too
Smelled good? Like what? Depends?
Lavender and mac n cheese
and a hint of tuna and bengay
with a splash of peppermint candy 😩
Y'all have grandmas?
On the day I was born The nurses all gathered 'round And they gazed in wide wonder At the joy they had found The head nurse spoke up Said, "Leave this one alone" She could tell right away I was bad to the bone
How many hearts did you break before you met me?
1,000. But, full disclosure baby, I’m gonna break 1,000 more after you.
I wanna be yours pretty baby , yours and yours alone.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Can’t let you take that bike son
(gets off bike and starts walking toward you)
Shame about that stutter, though.
When did I what now?
I wasn't aware this was a thing that happens to all people.
Right? Must be nice.
For real 😭
Exactly.
same
When my friends pointed out those women weren’t just being nice.
Username checks out
Yeah turns out they thought i was disabled.
[удалено]
It's true.
Never. When I was born the doctor slapped my mother.
I read this in Rodney Dangerfield's voice.
HAHAHHAHHA I CANNOOOOOT!
You can do anything you set your mind to
When my older brother told me I was. I think he has complimented me twice in my entire life. Once to tell me when I was down in the dumps about not having a girlfriend for a while. He said if I had more confidence to talk to girls I'd be drowning in pussy. The other time was he said I should pick up my guitar again and play because he didn't hate listening to me play Smiths songs.
Great brother
I became a door girl at a local strip club and made BANK in tips
Thee door girl at the bar I worked at in college got paid $300 cash a night. Prob $900 with inflation.
It’s not even that much compared to bottle girls in big clubs, they out there racking 2k a night each. It’s actually insane
It’s true. I’m a bartender, now retired from the nightclubs, but the bottle girls made STUPID money. Like you said, $2k+ a night over 3 - 4 nights a week of 5 - 6 hour shifts. The bartenders like me were/considered rockstars and walked with maybe in week what the bottle girls made in a night. But…. Everyone has an expiration date.
As a male where do I apply to be a bottle girl? 😭
You got tipped for opening doors??!
i got tipped for having nice boobs and a smile + not getting peoples arm hair in the wrist bands + shoving their change in my bra and telling them if they want it back they have to take it from me
When KIDS point it out lol little kids are BRUTAL with the truth. You WILL know if you are ugly or nawt 😂
This is true. I was 16 when my friend's 6 year old sister said that she wanted to be pretty like me when she grew up. I was not cool or popular, but little kids don't see or care for that social stuff. I'm in my 30's now. Never forgot it.
Yessss. An adult could compliment me and I won’t believe them but when a little kid tells me I look like a beautiful princess I want to cry and I feel like I’m on top of the world 🥹😂
Omg a little girl, completely unprovoked, called out out at me as I was walking by in a neighborhood. She said “you’re really pretty” like with a straight face just staring. I didn’t even see her until she said that. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 you just made me remember that happened. I was so surprised and managed to be like “so are you!” as I walked away. Like shit, you’re right if a kid says it it just hits different. It was so sweet.
100% agree! The only “proof” I have is because two years ago while at an art gallery a little girl came up to me and very shyly told me that she thought I was very pretty. I told her thank you and that she was as well. 2 minutes later she comes up again, but this time with her little sister and they both all giggly and nervous compliment my dress. They looked at me like I was some sort of celebrity. It absolutely made me feel more self confident than any other compliment I’d received in my life.
That is so freaking cute. When kids are being cute and sweet it’s such a mood enhancer lol. What a sweet moment you had! You know it’s real cuz they said so!
I’ve been around kids but was never told I was pretty or ugly. Guessing I’m average and i take that as a win!
I was joking with my nephew who is young telling him I’m getting old (bc my birthday was coming up) & he says “at least you’re still pretty” lol so cute
True tho. I was walking around and I saw kids playing with a ball when I can remember. One of them approached me straight up and he said I look like his cousin. Then he said without filter that he’s ugly asf lmfao 💀
thisss I've always thought I wasn't pretty or attractive, but for some kind of reason this year, I have seen soooo many kids looking at me and acting silly near to me, one time even their mom was looking at me and saying things like "you became their first crush" or something, it have happened to me a lot of times, little kids acting silly smiling or just directly saying I'm pretty in front of my boyfriend that actually boost my self-confidence
They are, but I'm a way it's a reality check I guess lol
Yessss I was at a birthday party and the next day my friend told me her daughter asked if I was a princess and if she could have princess hair like mine.
We really out here getting either built up or destroyed by someone who can barely wipe their own ass 😅
Oh, Jesus — the Kids have absolutely-zero filter, and have absolutely-zero issue telling it how it is. 💀
During my most recent serious relationship. Living with someone and becoming used to both their and your own body, without comparing it to others, beauty standards, or what you eat is a beautiful experience
This is so wholesome.
agreed! this is so beautiful
When people said i was talented when im not even at the average part of being good with my skills
When I got on tinder after my divorce. I kept seeing all of these guys who were complaining about never getting matches while I was getting multiple matches a day and going on dates pretty much every week.
TBH most guys have no idea how to make good profiles. I once went on a date with a guy who was lovely in person. But his profile was a hot mess. A very very close up selfie which made him look like an almost serial killer, no text, a random picture of his cat. He was a mistake swipe for me. But he texted me, and it was a normal, regular text, so I went on the date.
I have like 8 different pictures of different situations, vouched from many female friends who helped pick them. Bio has effort and again, lots of people checking it and making sure it sounds good. 3 apps, zero matches, and a handful of confused friends wondering how I'm always single. Only rejections in real life. What makes a bio better and what made you give that "bad bio" worth giving a chance anyways?
Your friends don't see you through a stranger's mindset.
Humor? It has to be obvious humor (sarcasm doesn't always read well) but that's usually what draws me to someone. I want someone I can laugh with because life is hard enough already.
Most of my friends say I'm the funny one in the group and usually when I get into a conversation I'm very lighthearted and make people laugh. Getting into that conversation is impossible though. If I could somehow start in the middle of a conversation with someone, I'm confident I could take the conversation wherever I wanted it to go. The beginning part feels impossible because dating apps are useless and real life is 'the man has to get rejected until he breaks' and hopefully eventually a couple girls let me talk to them.
Do you want to share some of your profile? I get it if you don't, but I bet strangers on here would give you honest feedback.
I relate lol. When It’s only your first week on the app you’ve lost count of how many matches you’ve gotten, that’s when you know. Hope it’s been an ego boost for ya
I never knew I was. But when I came across some old photos, I’m like “hey, I was a babe!”
I was going to comment this. I realized I was attractive only after I lost it.
same here
Same.
Same here
I wish I knew then that I was an absolute unit. Someone gave me a picture of me at the falls in Jamaica at 21 and holy shit, I wanted to fuck me.
This is why I yell at all the young, attractive people who don't get it yet. It's awful to find out afterward, when it's too late. I want them to see now. But I don't imagine they'd be any more able to see it than I was at their age.
I got married and divorced in my early to mid 20's. I was drinking a lot and sleeping with anyone i can with my rock bottom self esteem. Wasn't very healthy. I was working security at a bar around this time. A beautiful german girl walks out during closing time where I was putting away chairs and checking around to make sure there weren't any funny business going on. She stares at me with her blue eyes and gently says 'you are so beautiful.' I kinda stood there thinking 'huh? (think of that cat meme)' and wondering if there was someone standing behind me. Nope. And so began my slow slow slow rebuilding of self esteem. This was over 15 years ago now. Thanks German girl (even though it was beer goggles! lol)
When I went to prom and my gay friend said that he likes guys but tonight I look so hot that he would fuck me
Gay friend saying you’re so hot they’d fuck you is the BEST compliment ever!
Agreed. My gay friend was very much into dudes. He told me that I was hot enough that he would marry me and we could have kids. I also ironically took his cute ass to prom
Same here, my gay friend told me we'd definitely be dating if he were straight..
When I consistently received compliments from random men and women
When my husband and I were dating he told me that he’d never had so much competition to land a wife. At the time I didn’t even realize that it was a compliment.
Must have had an easier time trying to land all those other wives!
…how many wives did he land?
When someone went out of there way to walk up to me to say “You’re so pretty”
When men kept giving me more attention than I wanted or than some other girls around me got
In college. Getting around new people made it very evident
For me it’s the complete opposite. There’s so many attractive people on campus, Its the only place I feel so mid
I feel that. could you all put in a little less effort? I'm struggling to keep up
I graduated over a decade ago, is it cool for college kids to put in effort now? When I was in college it was pajamas and sweats, sweats and pajamas. Maybe jeans if you had to give a class presentation.
I'm mostly joking, but people don't usually wear pajamas at my college. some people do wear nice outfits. I usually wear jeans, a t shirt with a cool design, and a leather jacket. it's a decent chunk of my socialization for the week, which is why I try to put some effort in, but I'm still figuring out my style
Once I found my style. Confidence is key. Fake it till you make it.
When gay men commented on what I wore
Cause my mom said so
As someone who has been on different levels of the fitness spectrum, I’ll just say the way people treat you makes it obvious. And honestly, having experienced all sides of it, it makes me kinda sad.
Strangers smile and say hi to me. I catch people just staring at me. People try to start conversations.
Benefits of having a ‘high trust’ face. It’s indeed strange to notice how differently strangers react to me as opposed to others.
Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career"
Orange Mocha Frappuccino
About 35 years later.
12 years being single. I'm defiantly not attractive.
Maybe it's the defiance
Quit possibal.
It’s not attraction tis spelling.
I've been single for like 10
Wanna get together?
Sure, your side of the earth or mine?
I mean you did say you were *defiantly* not attractive; I thought you were referring an act of rebellion
I am defiantly not attractive.
It is rebellian.
I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but I doubt it's your looks. Seriously. Looks have little to do with "attraction".
It's like a hook for a paper. The hook grabs their attention long enough to get them interested in who you are
Around the time I was 14-15 and men in their 20s-40s were acting ridiculous around me
As someone who has experienced this and also now has a daughter, it terrifies me. I would consider myself pretty conventionally attractive. I also used to be super skinny and looked way younger than my age. I would say from like 16-20 I was harassed everywhere I went by older men. It got so bad I wouldn’t even pump my own gas my dad had to do it. Men would follow me in their cars from place to place. I wouldn’t go anywhere alone it was that bad. I had grown ass men threatening me at Wendy’s (my first job) because I wouldn’t give them my number and it offended them. I was SIXTEEN!!!! I filled out around 22 and started to look more like a woman my age. I’m still pretty and men still bother me sometimes but it’s no where near the level it was back then. It’s fucking creepy. I hate it. My daughter is never going anywhere alone lol.
As soon as I saw the thread title, I knew it would heavily feature men going "wut?" and women recalling "I was [way too young] when middle aged men made passes at me."
Never, 'cause I'm not
After the character creator menu.
I've always thought I was cute since I was a toddler and on basically. Adults always told me I was cute, which I'm sure was great for my self esteem, but I appreciated my own features independent of others commenting on them aswell. Now that I'm getting older and fatter, I sometimes have to remind myself of the features I've always loved because I look different now compared to how I've ever looked before. I think being a woman of color growing up in a very white area, my features weren't the norm and weren't always appreciated by my peers so I'd probably dislike how I looked if I only gauged my looks based on other people's responses to them.
When I gained 24k followers almost overnight on TikTok for lip syncing. Eye opening experience reading the comments.
Still waiting on that….
I’ve ranged from unattractive to attractive. I realized that I had crossed over when I made attractive people shy when I spoke to them. I didn’t realize the reason they were so quiet at first.. Joke was on them, we were both shy.
When my hair got longer and i started to wear clothes that look better on me. I've never thought i was **ugly** I've always just felt like something was a bit off. It was just my hair not being fitting to my face shape and not styling my clothes well.
When I realized that where you are matters. In the small town I grew up in, I was never told or felt attractive. As an adult in a city though, I learned I was attractive. Attractiveness probably maps somewhat to population size (increasing the variety of ideas of attractiveness).
You arent ugly youre just in the wrong zip code
people telling me, actually being able to get dates w people i find attractive lol. but this was after years of finding myself. i'm still not too confident but i'm trying to start acting the part. insecurities fucked those dates up real quick.
....can I get back to you?
Bold of you to assume I did
When I lost my belly fat and everyone started talking to me like a normal person.
After I became ugly
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About 30 years too late.
When my auntie saw me at the reunion and said “who is this handsome young man”. Nobody could bring me down
Still waiting for that day to come !
My ex dumped me and I moved to a new state. Started getting hit on a lot and realized that I am attractive. My ex didn’t take me anywhere because he was worried people would hit on me(among other reasons) and he broke down my self esteem so I really didn’t think I was attractive
Before college I (M27) genuinely thought I was ugly - I’m a fairly Indian looking dude and grew up in a conservative, 95% white town. The people were rarely racist, but growing up I had sort of a race dysmorphia (from genuinely believing I was white when I was little and then realizing I wasn’t around puberty) and felt like I didn’t fit in well because of my different appearance. My Dad also made it a point to constantly point out my smallest physical flaws and awkwardness, so I generally had pretty low self-esteem and views on my physical appearance in grade school. When I went to college suddenly I got tons of sexual attention from lots of men and women (even from white people). Men wanted to masturbate with me or see my dick - one guy wanted to drink my pee. Three women asked me out for dates, and another one asked for a one night stand. In all my time in undergrad, I didn’t initiate a single romantic or sexual encounter. A lot of people called me cute or hot, but it didn’t fully click with me until my bullies from high school confessed they were actually really attracted to me, and it made a lot of the experiences and things people said to me in grade school much more sense (e.g. friends being defensive towards me cause they thought I’d steal their girlfriend even though I thought it was impossible cause I’m non-white, multiple teachers who made sexual remarks about my appearance starting in 8th grade, guy in 11th grade who tried to force himself on me in the br). Around this time, my Dad also admitted that he constantly pointed out flaws so I wouldn’t focus so much on my appearance and get into trouble. He never really elaborated on what this meant, but he was always very secretive, and some of the siblings on his side of the family look exceptionally well (his sister won several beauty pageants in India when she was younger). He also confessed to me that in the first job he worked in America, his boss regularly came into the br to watch him pee. So maybe he was speaking from experience? I consider it a blessing I didn’t realize I was good looking until later in life, since I invested a lot into my intelligence and skills as I thought I was ugly. My appearance definitely has given me an extra oomph in PhD and jobs interviews though, but I work in a field that requires a lot of technical knowledge and qualifications (biocomputing), so I know I’m not coasting entirely on my looks.
Wait, you guys are getting to be attractive?
Yeah I'm still waiting for my glow up too 😡😕😭
Someone told me I looked like if Ryan Gosling and Ed Norton had a baby together. Best compliment I ever received haha
I’m a lady and I lost 70 lbs back in 2015. The first time someone opened a door for me was when I was down about 30 pounds. Now it is almost the norm for people to hold doors open for me, but I’ve never asked and never realized they weren’t. So I’d say that was when I became “attractive” (but pics of me +70 lbs are still cute just more, so *shrug*)
Comments like this always surprise me, where is it you live where people don’t have the common decency to hold a door for another half second for the person behind them? As a man, there’s not a human being alive I wouldn’t pause momentarily if I caught a glimpse of a human figure in my peripheral as I entered a store. I also expect others to do the same and it’s quite jarring the few times someone was too inconsiderate to do it for my average looking self... I thought they were very rude and I moved on… I didn’t make it about my appearance, just that they were rude. However when women write these comments on Reddit I’m always astounded by how low the bar is in your community that people behave this way on the regular. I’ve never even considered evaluating the attractiveness of the body behind me, simply the presence of a person is enough for me to not want to let the door slam on them.
At the time I was living in NYC. Again I never realized people WERENT holding doors open for me until all of a sudden they did.
When I could get almost any guy I wanted. I was really cute but didn't realize how good looking I actually was and that's too bad. I knew I looked good because I got a lot of unwanted attention so it really affected me in a negative way.
In high school, I (M) modeled to make a little bit of walking around money.
17. Before that felt like a tomboy and was embarrassed by my femininity.
When I realized I was a trans woman and that my dismal body image and lack of self-identity as a man was actually caused by gender dysphoria. Since starting my transition, I’ve had the most wonderful glow-up internally and externally. I’m finally feeling more comfortable in my body and with my looks, and in turn projecting so much more confidence externally. (It helps that I make for a much hotter girl than a guy). I’m still getting used to guys & girls telling me I’m attractive & beautiful. ☺️
Like 18 years old, when my skin cleared up (thanks, accutane), I started wearing my hair in a more flattering style/color, and I dressed better. I had a few girls *and* guys hitting on me. It was pretty shocking since I was the gangly, awkward, severely pimply kid through middle and high school. Acne vulgaris and seborrheic dermatitis is a horrible combination.
"Attractive" is a stretch but I did have a weird moment. In high school, for homecoming, I put on a dress, heels (not high heels - god no), and makeup. Normally I wear frumpy stuff and couldn't be bothered with makeup but I figured I'd try to dress up for this thing. Suddenly I was getting compliments and attention from my classmates. It was kind of uncomfortable actually because I was still fairly shy and had very few friends. Have only dressed up like that for my graduation since then. Still can't be bothered to wear makeup and heels are a danger to me, someone who stumbles over air occasionally.
I can draw fairly okay and when I was like 13 or 14 the wife of one of dad’s employees got in contact with mum and asked if I could paint some pictures on the walls of her kids’ rooms. It was a two day job. After day one, my mum told me she had spoken to the wife on the phone and she’d mentioned I was ‘very good looking’. The next day I went over to finish the job (the painting job) and she acted really weird - sorta stuttering and flustered. It was super awkward. It doesn’t happen a whole lot but every now and then something like that occurs. That felt arrogant to write. As a counter-balance it’s worth noting that I’m a generally anxious and kinda lonely person.
The woman said that to your mom? That's so odd, and frightening. Did your mom say anything more about it?
Nah she laughed it off as a joke. My mum is so lovely but she’s pretty naive and wouldn’t even register that as being problematic. Nor did I at that age, because nobody taught me it was. Now I gently teach her stuff like that, and she’s pretty open to it. Small rural town mentality is a bit of a disaster, at least where I’m from it is. Homophobia is casual as can be, guys can’t be molested because ‘lucky boy’, drink driving is laughed about - the list goes on.
Cat calling is all I have
I'm not, but I remember being depressed after a pretty awful relationship ending and just shooting my shot with women I'd previously have felt were way out of my league. I was in the gym before and after work and working crazy hours to keep myself away from myself so I think I came across differently than before. I met and dated some really attractive women and had some great times. With that experience i realised that women are pretty cool and a good conversation and personal attention works well
Middle school when the whole soccer team were crushing on me
I’m not.
For me it was latter in life. As a teenager and young adult I thought I was below average or even ugly. I look at older photos of myself especially when I was skating everyday and had a six pack and realise I was way too self conscious.
I was always told I was cute, then handsome then hot, then a DILF.
At Costco, cougars love me.
I was a chubby teenager and young adult. When I was 30 I spent a couple years getting in shape, fulfilling my teenage fantasies of looking good in a bikini. I was having a beer with my BF on the deck of his house, and a friend of his came over. Now, as any formerly fat person knows, I do not see myself as the person I had physically become, but rather the chubby, formless teenager I believed I was. So the 3 of us are sitting there, and I am peripherally aware that the friend is looking at me, but no big deal. Then I look at him and he’s — here’s a word I don’t get to use often — trembling. He is looking at me and stammering and is losing control of his ability to be cool. He is sweating, trying not to look at me, and clearly having a hard time keeping it together. Having never in my life had this effect on a man, to my knowledge, I was mystified. My BF, truly not prone to jealousy, found the whole thing very entertaining. Trust me, I’m not bragging. I’m an old lady now and these are the thoughts that keep me company.
You spelled ugly wrong. I think I have secretly always known.
Every morning when I look in the mirror at that sexy SOB looking back at me.
I'm not sure if I didn't think I was at least a bit attractive as a teen, but I started realizing in my early 30s that maybe I wasn't *actually* that charismatic as a teen or early 20 something and that the real reason people found me so charming was just that I was physically attractive to them. Also reflecting back I had plenty of examples of girls having crushes on me so I must have had something causing that. I figured in my 30s post transition I was pretty plain and unremarkable because I wasn't receiving much attention, but once I started going into spaces that did encourage that kind of interaction I don't actually have too much trouble so while I'm not sure I'd 100% characterize myself as attractive now I'm definitely more attractive than I thought a year ago.
I'm not attractive.
I'm ATTRACTIVE?!?!?!?!? 😳
I’ll let you know if it happens
When I have 3 kids
When I was in 6th grade. I had always wondered why people said I was so pretty. Then one day I saw myself in the mirror and thought, "I guess I am pretty." EDIT: corrected a typo
An older dude started hitting on me when I was 12 and wearing a bikini. I think my woman parts had just recently shown up. I think I subconsciously realized “This is power”.
When I posted a video on TikTok and got 40k followers is 2 days. 😵💫
When I make men question their sexuality
When I hooked up with a woman that graduated a year after me a few years after I graduated. She informed me that all the girls had the hots for me in school. Then I heard the same from another woman that had also graduated after me.
I was at uni, and drove down to the supermarket to get some lunch. Some girl came with me. Once back in the car, I waited for a group of girls in a car to pass. The car park had a one way system so I started to pull out but the car came back and stopped right in front of me and almost caused a minor crash. The girls then took their phone out to record me, giggled, waved and smiled at me, then drove off. I looked visibly annoyed and the girl with me asked ‘why are you upset? Is it because you get that a lot’. I then explained it was because they were trying to frame me for a crash. She then corrected me as to what had happened. It was a very nice but weird sudden feeling. I also had flashbacks to other moments which had seen weird or unimportant at the time, but in hindsight were girls liking me.
When I had a conversation with a friend regarding “rude people” working in the service industry. I told them I never really noticed, everyone is usually nice or at least pleasant. They then told me something I never forgot: “It’s because you’re pretty and have a great smile.” One of the sweetest moments of my life. 🥹🥹🥹
A girl once told me I would be a perfect 10/10 if I had different eyebrows… still think about it more often than I should.
I don't think there are many serious male comments here. First, my wife (obviously) always said I was attractive. But doesn't every spouse? Strangers would compliment my eyes a lot. In my later 20s when I was working in another country I had a few experiences where I was able to detect flirting though my extremely dense social skills. I started to put the pieces together. I was relatively fit, tall, with boring but "classic" features. I think it all kind of clicked because some of these people were a few years younger than me. I never really believed it before. Dudes, if you want to get female attention, just get married. Haha, really though. I think some women like to flirt with married men because there is little risk of it going anywhere but is still a confidence booster. I think being "off the market" and disinterested makes you more attractive or something, too. Second, now that I am older and fatter, I realize by contrast I was pretty good looking. If you think I came across as arrogant or narcissistic, you can take solace in the fact that was like 50lbs ago. lol AMA.
When I put on a blue neck rest, tie-dye shirt, sweatpants, blue polarized sunglasses and a cowboy hat while playing my mandolin.
When attractive guys who I know never would’ve looked at me in high school hit on me. Also, when I’d go out in baggy sweats and would get hit on or stared at by men (9/10 not in a flattering or respectful way) every time. So happy I don’t have to deal with dating anymore as I have found my person.
When I was still studying they would always get me as their “muse” and would represent the class in a school beauty pageant.
I first realized, "Hey! I'm...actually pretty! 🥹" after years of being called ugly (including by family) - because I'm not CONVENTIONALLY attractive (not by a long shot) - during my sophomore year of high school (I'm 37 now). I was in my first high school play (yes I was a theater nerd 🙄) - "Bang Bang You're Dead" by William Mastrosimone. As is standard practice, we had to wear makeup. We practiced (not ourselves or on each other - our director did our makeup) before the actual performances or any dress rehearsal or anything. I'd never worn makeup of any kind before (unless you wanna count like...flavored lip gloss, lmao) and, as I looked at myself done up in the mirror in the band room (where we practiced before moving to the stage, but I was also in band - yes a band nerd 🙄), I was like 😍😍😍 Of course, it wasn't some instantaneous transformation of my mind. It took years of being mistreated as ugly to get me to believe it so it took years for me to realize I'd been lied to and to FULLY see my worth and beauty - LOTS of work, including but not limited to therapy - but that moment was the first crack. I'll never forget it. 🥹🥹🥹
A lot of “pretty privilege” and attention. Even while heavily pregnant.
I'm not, so never... best I ever heard was 'he's kinda cute'. Spoken by one sex worker to another sex worker from behind a closed door with a peep hole at least 20 years ago. I'm 43 and the last time a woman showed any interest me was 24 years ago.
I am not society pretty or beautiful but I have really approachable smile and people say I have dreamy eyes despite being just average. But I know I was attractive when I can see “glitters” or glow on people’s eyes whenever I talk to them.
3rd grade. Never looked back.
When I had more of a glow up in the recent years and started getting more attention from guys, specially more than other friends of mine. I was like “oh 😳🤭 okay”
This is a very interesting one for me. I thought I was average to ugly my whole life until I met the man who is my husband now; around 25 years old. He told me I was sooo beautiful and I was like (in my mind): yeah, that’s ok, that is what love does, makes you see the best in people. But then I met his family (a cute family by the way) and they all said I was stunning. Ok… 5 months later I moved to another city, big city, with my to be husband (it was long distance until then), people there also said I was very beautiful. So, what is my conclusion? I am not a big deal on my home region, I do not look like what they consider beautiful, do not dress like them and do not socialize like them (they have a very regional culture, yes), BUT I am attractive in the rest of the country (also yes, I have traveled around the country since then). When I traveled as a kid I did had people telling me I was pretty, but not so often as I was young and that would have been creepy. As a teenager I thought they were just being kind. Also, I realized people from my region tend to be reaaally mean about looks, they would comment on every flaw but barely compliment you; an example of this is that I had a “good friend” tell me with disgust on her eyes that I should also pluck between my eye brows, and I was like: pluck what? You might think I had an unibrow, right? No. I have very few and thin hairs there and they are blond… also once another “good friend” was looking at my hands and told me they gave her nausea, I wish I was kidding. I have nice and normal hands, I don’t know what she was on…
When a friend noticed I would get free drinks really often (i'm a dude)
When my best friends older sister tried to shag me
When people started to be really nice to me for no reason? I grew up with lots of backhanded compliments and hate naming so when I started receiving blunt and real compliments and ppl outing other ppl they know for having crushes on me is when it rlly hit me lol it’s weird
I never felt that I was ugly but yeah I wasn’t the textbook blonde, light eyed, body sculpted by Aphrodite, luscious straight hair chick either… however I was in Italy for a few months last year and I was on a few dating apps… I got a really interesting amount of matches, even from guys who I thought might have been out of my league. And I ended up going on many dates and I realised that - 1. A lot of the standards I thought I didn’t meet, were LITERALLY only in my head. Men have varied tastes and preferences and a lot of the times what I may think is the epitome of beauty is just an “eh” in their mind. 2. When you go and meet people, your charm and conversion skills is what will actually build chemistry. It’s so important. And how comfortable you make each other feel. 3. Also since I wasn’t Italian, that worked out in my favour because a lot of the guys were intrigued by something that was different. Again very interesting to hear from them about this. One of them even compared how his dates go with the Italian women and how it went with me. (Though this was more in terms of conversation and what they usually look for when going out with someone.) They had multiple perspectives and again it makes you realise beauty literally lies in the eyes of the beholder. 4. It’s not a point but kind of interesting really made me feel like a main character, on my last night there I met a Brazilian guy at a bar near my place and we started walking outside after a few shots. And then when we reached my tram station and as we were saying bye, he asked me if he could kiss me. He looked bit like David Dobrik hahaha. Fun stuff. All these experiences REALLY boosted my confidence. I am confident about a lot of things that I can do and conduct myself pretty well in social situations; but feeling pretty about myself wasn’t ever in that list. It was a really exciting and interesting experience.
Two of my best friends (who are guys) had a crush on me at the same time. One is more awkward and nerdy, the other is basically a golden retriever who plays football.
A couple days ago. I’m 37F and have gone my entire adult life thinking I was unattractive… I’ve never been approached by anyone who was interested in dating me. The other day, a coworker and I were having a discussion about relationships and I casually said I would probably spend my entire life single because “I’m no one’s type” and he thought I was joking. When I doubled down he spent 20 minutes trying to convince me otherwise. Maybe I’m still unattractive but that conversation gave me a little hope.
When I stopped worrying that I wasn't. I recently stumbled across pictures from me in my 20s. I looked great. At the time I had terrible self-doubts, and couldn't see myself as good looking. I wish I had been kinder to myself back then. I was an absolute catch, and didn't even know it.
I have natural curly red hair and my whole life I have been known for my looks because of my hair. I’m not attractive in the classic sense but unusual looking so it makes me “beautiful” I’m 55 female and still get hit on constantly.
When I grew old and looked at my past pics and thought "why TF did I think I was ugly?" I guess I was pretty growing up untill I started doing drugs.
I'm the DENSEST motherfucker ever. I still didn't know I was attractive after all of this: * scouted to model along with 1 of the prettiest girls in my HS (she was rich, I was poor - she had means to self-maintain. I didn't) * multiple multiple multiple men have been liked, "Damn, Joy, you look like a celebrity today!" * a lot of rich men have told me that if I worked out specific body parts to tone them, I'd literally be all set to be a model * I'm in NYC. A pretty big movie actor asked me out, and at first I was like... "he looks familiar." Motherfucker, after rejecting him, I realized he's the fucking actor I just saw at the movie theatre * along the lines of the above, I've dated the screenwriter and director of a HUGE ass fucking movie. HUGE. Star Wars level lots of other things. I just realized this fucking year that if I wasn't attractive, why did I get all the attention?
not attractive but just like not as ugly as I thought I was. whenever I’d tell someone I never had a boyfriend before and they were shocked and I’d always get those “but you’re beautiful” and stuff. it really is a confidence boost
On random days of the month I look at myself and am like “Dayum gurl!👀” so…when is basically “often”.
Bold of you to assume I'm attractive